A lot of people seem to think that when boys turn into men, they get stuffy, businesslike, and forget all thought of childhood and play.
On July 23, 1966, I was almost positive that this transition would never happen to Sodapop Curtis and his crazy friend.
"I've always wanted to be a spy," Two-Bit told me with a smile so large it threatened to break his face. "Goin' on missions and stuff. What REALLY gets me is the nicknames. You gotta be real tuff to get a nickname. What should mine be?" Two-Bit tried to think of animals that shared some of his physical or personal traits as we waited on the bus stop bench. I suggested rooster, but he seemed to think that wasn't "tuff enough".
I liked Two-Bit a lot. I didn't know a lot of greasers, and what I had seen usually wasn't that great. Two-Bit appeared to be a little rough around the edges; for instance, I wondered if any of his friends were concerned with his apparent drinking problem. But he was funny, and kind, too. He seemed like the ideal loyal, fun-loving puppy dog that we all dreamed about having when we were kids.
"Okay, okay," I interrupted as he considered the timeless choice "Eagle One" as his nickname, "But what exactly is this plan supposed to be?" Earlier in the day, I had noticed Two-Bit hiding behind a tree in the park with sunglasses on, alternating between studying Darrel, pretending to take notes, and stroking an imaginary goatee. Once Darrel left, he had informed me in a low, serious voice that I needed to come with him and that I would be informed of the plan shortly. Then he ate the rest of my tacos.
"This plan isn't that crazy thing that Soda cooked up the other night, is it?" I asked nervously.
"Naw, we couldn't find a wig, and Soda figured it was kinda dangerous. And you know when Soda says something's dangerous enough not to try, it really is. Kid's gonna break his neck one of these days." Two-Bit hopped on the bus and slipped a coin out of his pocket. "Anyway, Soda decided to be all MATURE-" He used some pretty condescending air quotation marks. "And is trying to sit Darry down with Ponyboy and DISCUSS-" There go those air quotes again... "Like ADULTS. To calm Darry's fears right off the bat, we're gonna have a quiet poker night at the Curtis' house tonight, and y'all are gonna go on another date."
I leaned hard back against the seat and moaned. "Why didn't you tell me?! I don't even look cute today!" I dressed for comfort and speed today, so I was wearing overalls and two long braids, and I was carrying my sandals in my hand.
"Aw, shut up, ya look fine." The bus passed stop after stop, and we got off by the Dingo, which was the entrance to the not so nice side of town. I had only ever been to this part while riding in the car, and I walked a little closer to Two-Bit and put my sandals on to avoid stepping on the broken glass and cigarette butts that littered the sidewalk. A friend to everyone, Two-Bit greeted about every other person we passed, and we crossed the street at the corner with the sketchy gas station.
"Where are we going on our date?" I asked as we turned onto a street with lots of little fixer-upper houses.
"Uh. I dunno. We figured maybe you could come up with something? But not too far away, Darry's having trouble finding a cheap car." Two-Bit twisted his mouth to the side and thought, and slowly stopped in front of a small white house, who looked to be one of the nicest on the street.
"Here's their house. But I dunno if Soda's done DISCUSSING." He pinned himself against the side of the house, listening through the open window, while I leaned up against the ledge on the porch. "Bzzzzz. The eagle has landed," he said in a growly voice.
I rolled my eyes and started bouncing on the balls of my feet. My stomach was turning with anticipation and anxiety and doubt that Two-Bit and Soda actually knew how to handle this situation, and I was all sweaty because I didn't anticipate being outside in these stupid overalls so much, especially because girls just didn't go out in overalls as everyday wear in Tulsa, and I just wanted to know what the heck was going on. Darrel hadn't so much as looked at me in two weeks, and I didn't want him to think I was crazy for getting involved in these antics. For another thing, Two-Bit was a horrible spy, because after tripping over the front step, he yelped and the voices that crept out the window ceased.
The door slowly creaked open, and to my relief, it was only Sodapop. "Hey," he said hesitantly. He glanced at Two-Bit, who was still on the ground after his fall. "The plan's messed up. Darry's working overtime tonight. He's probably gonna be cranky, so he's not gonna listen."
"Well, we just to have to think of things that will lessen his crankiness!" Two-Bit reasoned, getting up and pushing past him into the house. Soda followed him, and I decided I probably shouldn't just hang out on the porch. "What makes Darrel real happy?"
"When we pick up the house," a slow, drawling voice answered from the kitchen.
"Yeah! And you know what else makes him happy? A nice, big chocolate cake!"
"Two-Bit, that's what makes you happy." A tall, auburn noodle of a boy came into sight, who I guessed had to be Ponyboy. He smiled shyly at me. "Hi, I'm Ponyboy."
"Caroline. Nice to meet you." I looked around the cluttered little house. Despite the shoes everywhere, the pile of dishes in the sink, and a slightly stinky boy smell, it was a lovely home. The walls of the living room were yellow, littered with pictures and flower wreaths. A large basket next to the armchair overflowed with yarn of many colors, but it didn't look like it had been touched in a while. The muted green curtains on the window were thrust wide open, letting the sun stream into the happy little living room. I felt at home immediately.
"How about we clean the house?" I suggested. "Do you guys have a place for all of this clutter? Do you have a vacuum? Do you know how to use it?"
"'Course we do," Sodapop scoffed, throwing a pair of shoes down the hall into an open door. "We'll do the cleanin', and you can make the cake. 'Cos you're the one who sells food for a living."
After an hour of vacuuming and dusting the whole house, and throwing away some old shoes that were too stinky and ratty to stay on Ponyboy's feet anymore, Sodapop and Two-Bit were "doing the dishes" (splashing water on each other and occasionally on the dirty dishes) and Ponyboy was searching the pantry for something to eat for dinner.
"When's he gonna be home?" I asked, searching for an oven mitt, and finally finding one in the silverware drawer (?).
Soda glanced up at the kitchen clock, a beautiful old thing shaped like a sailboat. "Usually when he does overtime, it's around six, so anytime now."
"How 'bout we make pancakes for supper?" Ponyboy suggested, loudly shutting the door to the pantry.
"We don't have milk, buddy."
"Well I'll go get some then, cos I want pancakes." The front door quickly opened and shut, and we all peeked hopefully into the living room, but it was just Steve, who, without saying anything to anyone, sat himself down in the armchair and turned on the TV way too loud. Soda pulled out a ragged wallet and handed Ponyboy a dollar for some milk and hollered at Steve to turn down the TV, then slammed the dry pots and pans clumsily into the cupboard next to the sink.
I grew up in a house of mostly girls, so I wasn't used to rough housing, yelling voices, or general loud things, and I was kind of sensitive to them. I didn't want to go into the living room where all the boys were shouting at the TV and each other, but it wasn't my house so what else was I supposed to do?
6:30 came, and along with it came a blond boy with his mouth pressed into a hard line, the loudest of them all. Briefly glancing at me when he came in was the only time he acknowledged me, and after that he and Steve began to play poker. I sighed, trying not to let my brain wander.
I'm a worrier, and not just one that occasionally worries about normal things like failing a test or forgetting my homework, but my thoughts spiral so uncomfortably about the most irrational things at the worst times. Right now, since I knew Darrel was about a half hour late, I thought about all the things that could have happened. Maybe he fell off the roof? Maybe he got hit by a car? Maybe he saw me through the window and decided not to come inside?
When these kinds of things happened, I couldn't really get past them without a distraction, or the knowledge that everything was actually okay, so I was trying to patiently wait until Darrel walked in the door.
"Y'all are makin' a mess and we tried hard to clean this place up for Darry, so go in the kitchen," Soda said to Steve and the loud, growly blond boy. They grumbled at him but obeyed, setting up shop in the other room. It was perfect timing too, because the second Steve yelled "Dallas, you cheater!" the door opened.
"Darry!" Soda hugged his brother. Before he even noticed me, I could tell Darrel's tired eyes were narrowed suspicously.
"Why's it so clean in here?" He glanced around the room and saw me on the couch, and I froze.
"Guess what, Dar? We're gonna have a nice, quiet poker night and make pancakes, and you and Caroline get to go on a date!" Soda smiled at Darrel and patted his arm, trying to get him to stop staring at me.
"Caroline even made you chocolate cake!" Ponyboy handed him a small plate of cake and a fork, grinning up at him, but his grin looked like his mouth was just trying to stretch as far as it could across his teeth, it didn't really touch his eyes.
"Aww, isn't that sweet!" Two-Bit exclaimed, nudging Steve, who had been coached on his line earlier.
"Wow, I wish I had a girl who would make ME chocolate cake," he said sarcastically, not even glancing up from his cards.
The growly blond bear just watched the situation silently out of the corner of his eye, and I realized I should probably do something, so I waved. "Hey," I said weakly.
Soda nodded slowly. "Right, so you guys go have fun somewhere-"
"Soda, what about the 'discussion?'" Ponyboy hissed, and Soda trailed off.
"Oh yeah." He whispered into Two-Bit's ear, while Darrel just watched incredulously. "Man, I didn't really think about what I was gonna say to him."
"Here's the thing, Darry," Two-Bit started, clapping his hands. "You worry too much. Pony and Soda are big boys now, they can take care of themselves, and besides, one of us is always gonna be with them. You need to stop feeling like everything's your responsibility because it's not, you're freaking twenty years old, you're barely an adult. This pretty girl actually wants to hang out with you, is that right, Caroline?"
I nodded, my tongue seemingly glued to the roof of my mouth. "So before you lose this chance, you need to eat that cake and then take this girl on a date, because if you don't, you're gonna be a lonely old man when Pony travels the world as a writer and Soda is a famous rodeo clown." Two-Bit folded his arms, expecting a response. Darrel said nothing and took a bite of the cake. The time he took to chew felt like an eternity.
"Fine."
It was a long drive to the Tastee Freez, and it was even longer since Darrel wasn't saying anything.
I don't know what I was expecting. He had hardened himself the last few weeks to me and my attempts to talk to him, so just because I showed up unexpectedly at his house and we were forced on another date by his kid brothers and their friends didn't mean that everything was going to be all nice again. I wished I had thought through what to say, what to do, and how to go from here.
He paid for a chocolate fudge cone for himself and a vanilla one for me, and we sat down at a picnic table, still not exchanging more than a couple words.
"That Two-Bit's a scream, isn't he?" Darrel finally said.
"You ain't a-woofin'," I replied, letting out a sigh of relief. "They care about you an awful lot, you know that, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I know."
"Is your house always so lively?"
He chuckled. "Yeah. Most of them don't have great homes to go home to, if they have one at all."
"So you're kind of like their safe place."
Humming thoughtfully, he licked a stray drop of ice cream off the bottom of the cone. "I guess so. And they're kind of ours, too. I think we'd go crazy if it was just the three of us, probably."
I wasn't good at small talk, and liked to dive into the deeper topics, but I still wasn't sure whether to dip my toes in this one. "I-" I swallowed, trying to throw out my nerves. "I bet it was good to have them around a few months ago."
He nodded-he knew what I meant, and didn't try to discourage me. He just sucked in a deep breath and laid his hand on his cheek, as he had finished his ice cream cone quickly. As he replied, I realized he hadn't even had dinner yet. "It was. They're like our brothers, you dig? The closest thing we've got to family."
I smiled silently, and we both just sat for a while. "And sometimes, they help give us the push we need in the right direction." I raised my eyebrows at him questioningly, and he continued. "I really do like you, Carrie Anne. A...a lot. And I like this thing we have." He stood up and motioned me to walk with him. "But I don't know what it's gonna look like."
"That's okay, I understand," I said, trying not to respond too excitedly. I didn't want to scare him off.
He went on, "I just have so much to think about with Ponyboy and Soda, that they would always come first, okay? They're still so young and I need to make sure they're safe and well."
"Of course."
"And I move kinda slow, just so you know. I'm not the type that jumps all in real fast."
"You tiptoe? Or you wade?"
He thought for a moment. "Yeah, I kinda tiptoe. I take one small step at a time. Sometimes I stay still for a long while, and it looks like I'm not gonna move."
"So that's when I get Two-Bit and Soda, right?" I joked.
His bright blue eyes met mine. "I think if you try, you might be able to give me a little push too."
My heart warmed. "Okay. I can do that. And I want you to be comfortable, and I'm in no hurry. Please. You set the pace of whatever this is. If we need to just be friends right now, I'm happy just being your friend. I like you, Darrel. You're funny and fun and interesting."
"I like you too." It took all the strength I had not to cheer and squeal. I could see Mrs. Harrison peeping at us from her garden, and she met my eyes. She had heard. "And maybe we'll just go on a few dates for a while? Spend some time together, gettin' to know each other?"
"Sounds good to me," I replied, and we walked on in comfortable silence.