Chapter fifteen

"Hey Jude"

Hey Jude, don't make it bad

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better

Hey Jude, don't be afraid

You were made to go out and get her

The minute you let her under your skin

Then you begin to make it better

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain

Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder

Hey Jude, don't let me down

You have found her, now go and get her

Remember to let her into your heart

Then you can start to make it better

Jude

If Jude had thought Posey was chipper before, she was nothing short of ecstatic these days. Despite the fact that both of them still hobbled about like senior citizens, and her father's lack of viable fuses seriously testing his seemingly limitless temper, Posey was practically glowing. Rarely did he see her without a smile on her face, even though the herculean task of making the memorial livable again fell primarily on her shoulders, she seemed happy to haul out bins of trash and rubble, and scrub blood stains off of tile. He helped where he could, though the hole in his gut prevented him from doing too much. He insisted he could do more, but Posey was adamant that he take it easy, and not pull his stitches. Not that she would take that advice for herself.

Still, she had help when help could be had. Janice lent her a hand when she was able, and Garza and the other engineer, Alex, were always willing when they were free, and once the main power came online and the dull, flickering lights grew bright, Jude thought they'd made the place damn near cheerful. Had they restored it to its Pre-War glory days? Of course not, but by wasteland standards, it was really rather impressive what Posey and the others had accomplished with a couple of boxes of Abraxo cleaner and two beat up brooms. The rubble was cleared, the stench of Super Mutants had at least faded slightly and the place was well lit and always buzzing with people. The few pieces of salvageable furniture had been dusted off and patched up and all in all, the place looked rather welcoming.

The only problem was yes, he had one of the steadiest sources of income he'd had in a long time (Jude figured Posey's old man and that Doctor Li must've been rolling in the caps, the wage he was getting) But despite the fact that he was seeing Posey every day, it always seemed to be when she was just leaving, or he would be going just as she was coming, and neither of them had had the chance to sit and talk, like they use to almost daily. Least of all, talk about what had happened the day he'd gotten shot, or rather what hadn't happened.

Jude couldn't decide if he was relieved or annoyed.

The only time they even had a chance at a conversation was at the end of the day when everyone decided to finally put away the research and have dinner, either all together at the memorial, or as it happened more often than not, everyone would slowly make their own way over to Rivet City, in their own groups. Which usually meant that Jude and Posey were joined by James and Doctor Li. And Doctor Li always seemed to be trailed by others would occasionally join them, Alex or Garza usually. But Jude didn't exactly feel like bringing up an almost kiss in front of Posey's father.

Either way, talking to Posey one on one just didn't seem to be an option anymore, which was why Jude was very surprised when he heard footfalls entering into the pillared room, which was now combined into a dining/lounge area, with a long scrubbed wooden table (where he'd once lay sprawled out and bleeding to death) and a pair of threadbare couches, and looked up to see Posey, rounding the corner with her hands in the pockets of her Tunnel Snakes jacket. He hair was the same as it had been in Megatoon, loose and held back with a faded red bandana, with the two ends sticking up like rabbit ears from the top of her head, and for the first time in a long time, she was scowling.

"Hey," She said in surprise, seeing him seated at the table, the sleeves on his utility jumpsuit (which thankfully fit him much better than the Vault 112 suit) rolled up and the memorial building's coffee maker spread out in pieces in front of him.

"Hey yourself," He said, putting down the piece he'd been fiddling with.

"What're you up to?" She asked, her scowl slowly melting away as she looked down at the disassembled appliance in front of him.

"Well, all the other Eggheads seemed too busy," He said, looking down at the various parts spread before him. "And they all whine about it being broken, so I'm fixing it."

"Looks like you're breaking it more to me." Said Posey with a smile, lifting herself up onto the table, and bracing her foot against his chair.

"Yeah well, somethings have to be torn apart before they can be fixed up again." He said and Posey smiled in earnest, resting her chin in her hand and her elbow on her knees.

"That was awful poetic of you, Colorado." She said, eyes bright. Jude rolled his eyes, but felt a smile of his own forming for the first time in what felt like days.

"So what's up with you?" He asked turning back to his project.

"I've been with my dad mostly." She said, gathering her hair over her shoulder. "He's been teaching me about the Purifier and brushing up my first aid."

"How come you're not in there now? Being a dutiful little Egghead?" He asked, frowning slightly at the machinery before him. He couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with it, and few things annoyed Jude more than an elusive solution to an obvious problem.

"Because," Said Posey scowling and blowing a lock of hair out of her face with an impatient huff. "The 'busy body' showed up."

"Ah," Said Jude, looking back up at her with a frown. "perfectly pressed khakis and a smart sweater vest, I'm sure."

"No," Said Posey raising her eyebrows, "a suit. He's wearing a suit, where did he even find a suit?"

"Who knows. What's he up to?"

"Dunno," Said Posey, leaning back with a sigh. "My dad sent me out after Bannon called out my measurements to the whole room and said a pale blue would bring out, 'The gold in my hair and the rose in my lips'."

Jude snorted, sitting back and shaking his head. "I told you he was an asshole."

"I know," Said Posey glumly, "And now I'm missing out. I'm sure he's upset that Doctor Li missed the last two council meetings and what with all the work she's been putting into Project Purity, their hydroponics lab has really slowed down." Posey brought her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin atop them with a frown. "What if he makes her go back? Project Purity means so much to my dad, and I'd hate to think some jackass in a suit can take away his chance at it, again."

"Bannon doesn't have that much influence, Blondie." He said, resting his folded arms on the table and looking up at her with raised eyebrows. "Sometimes he stirs up trouble just because he can, but he's all talk."

Posey still looked mournfully down at him and Jude sighed, looking back down at his own project.

"It'll all work out, Blondie." He reassured, picking up a rag and rubbing the grease of his fingers, or attempting to anyway. "You and your dad will figure something out. If I know one thing, it's that you Bennett's don't let anything stand in your way."

"Yeah?" Asked Posey with a smile, which Jude returned.

"Yeah." He said with a nod. "It's kind of obnoxious, actually."

Posey laughed, and Jude saw the tense line of her shoulders relax as she let her legs slide back down, and swung them back and forth under the table.

"So I guess I should just go in there and give that Bannon a piece of my mind, huh?" She asked, smiling down at him.

"I don't see why not." Said Jude with a shrug. "I think everyone should give Bannon hell, but that's just me. He's part of the reason I never stay in Rivet City long. But yeah, go in there and show him who's boss, Blondie."

"Go show him that Project Purity isn't to be messed with." Said Posey, attempting to look threatening and cracking her knuckles.

"Oh no," Said Jude, suppressing a laugh behind his hand. "Don't do that, please don't do that."

"What!" Said Posey indignantly. "I'm displaying my clear intentions that I will use force if necessary to insure this Project's completion."

"Intimidation is just not your forte, Blondie." Said Jude, his shoulders shaking with the effort of holding in his mirth. "I'm not saying you couldn't take Bannon, if it came down to a fist fight I'd bet on you all the way, but just... Don't do that."

"So you're saying I should go for the more diplomatic approach." Said Posey, nodding sagely. "You think I can," Posey froze, her legs mid swing, her mouth open, mid sentence. "Jude!" She cried, leaping to her feet. "You're a genius!"

"What?" He asked furrowing his brow but Posey was already running towards the rotunda with a wide smile.

"I'll be right back! Thank you, Jude!"

Jude watched her go with raised eyebrows, and as the door swung shut to the Rotunda, he turned back to the coffee maker, shaking his head and he began slowly piecing the thing back together. He'd done what he could for the appliance, and he was sure it would work, it just wasn't as seamless as a job as he'd liked it too be. While he worked he could hear muffled voices but couldn't make out any clear words, so he focused on what he could make sense of, the machine in front of him.

He'd just finished fitting the casing back over the appliance when the door to the Rotunda opened again, and Posey existed, followed by Bannon, who Jude could see was indeed wearing a neatly pressed, grey suit.

"Doctor Li won't miss another meeting," Posey was saying confidently, while Bannon folded his arms, still looking petulant. "And she and her team will return twice a week to their Rivet City lab to resume their work there. I personally will escort them to and from the city, to ensure their safety."

Bannon seemed to be struggling to find some kind of loophole, or issue he could push, but Jude had to admit, Posey had presented an almost air tight solution, and Bannon could clearly see that arguing wasn't going to get him anywhere.

"Doctor Li will not miss another meeting." He finally said, seemingly at a loss to say anything else.

"She will not." Agreed Posey, and Bannon looked at her carefully, before saying,

"You should stop by my shop sometime, Miss Bennett, I have a lovely chiffon frock that would do wonders for you, and perhaps we can see how accurate my estimations were."

Jude felt an unidentifiable prickle of anger creep up in his back and he unconsciously clenched his fists as Posey's eyes flashed dangerously but her smile and voice were sugar sweet as she said:

"Will you be needing an escort back to the city Mr. Bannon? I'm sure my friend Colorado would be delighted to take you back."

Colorado folded his arms and didn't bother concealing the glare that crossed his face as he looked up at the man. In truth, he'd like nothing better than to toss Bannon into the Potomac and let the Mirelurks have their way with him, but figured that might interfere with Posey's diplomatic approach.

"No," Said Bannon and Jude noted with a smirk the look of apprehension on Bannon's face. "I think I can find my own way back, thank you. Miss Bennett, it's been a delight to meet you."

"It has been an enlightening occasion." Said Posey smiling tightly as Bannon gave her a pompous nod and strode out of the Memorial building.

Once he was gone, Posey looked over at him grinning triumphantly and crossing her arms over her chest.

"You were right," She said happily, walking over and taking the chair next to him, propping her legs up on the edge of his own seat, still grinning like a maniac.

"Of course I was right," Said Jude looking down at her and raising an eyebrow. "What was I right about?"

"We Bennett's don't let anything get in our way," Said Posey, leaning her folded arms on her knees. "Especially busy bodies in fancy pants suits."

"No you don't." Agreed Jude with a smile, "Although if you'd have just shot him the second he set foot in here it might have been taken care of a lot sooner."

Posey rolled her eyes, but her lips twitched up in a smile and Jude cried suddenly,

"Wait!"

Posey froze, eyes wide and whipped around, her hand falling to the holster on her hip and Jude said quickly, "No, sorry, it's nothing, just...Smile again." Posey looked back at him, an eyebrow raised still looking almost panicked, but she did smile nervously and Jude leaned forward, taking her chin gently in his hand and tilting her face to the left, so he could see her cheek more clearly,

"You've got a dimple." He said softly, running his thumb over the slight indentation on her otherwise smooth skin. "How did I never notice that before?"

"I've only got the one." Said Posey, and he could see her cheeks slowly tinging pink. "And it's not very deep, it makes sense why you wouldn't notice."

Jude let his hand fall away and Posey looked up at him and he stared back, feeling that same twitch in his chest that he'd felt back when she'd covered his hand with hers, on the door to the same building they sat in now. How different the circumstance had been then, before Posey had found her father and this place had been dank and full of Super Mutants and Posey's face had been pale and pinched with fear.

Now, in the glow of the overhead lights, Posey's skin was awash in the light of it. It'd been warm under his fingers, and she was looking up at him with the bluest eyes he'd ever seen. The brightest thing perhaps the Wasteland had ever seen.

She looked like she wanted to say something, her tongue traced the edge of her bottom lip, her eyelashes fluttering as she blinked.

"Jude," She murmured and Jude felt his breath hitch in his throat as she said his name. She caught her bottom lip in her teeth, apparently at a loss for words, and Jude reached up and gently tugged it free, letting his hand linger there, letting his head fall forward,

"Posey that was amazing!"

Posey sprang away from him, her chair scraping across the tile as her father and Doctor Li burst into the room from the Rotunda, her father with a wide grin on his face and even Doctor Li wore a smile.

"Truly, Miss Bennett that was very excellently handled." Said Doctor Li, clasping her hands in front of her. "Bannon can be... difficult, at times. But that was a very logical solution."

"Grace under pressure." Agreed James smiling brightly. "Really darling, that was spectacular."

Posey blushed and Jude sat back in his chair, running his fingers through his hair, keeping his gaze trained on the now repaired coffee maker in front of him, feeling a little warm around the face and neck as well.

"You're sure it won't be too much work, for you and your team?" Asked Posey, addressing Doctor Li, who shook her head.

"No, we're use to long hours. We'll be fine."

"Glad to hear it." Said Posey with a smile, "The show must go on, as they say."

"Indeed it must," Replied James, returning her smile with one of his own. "that being said I could use your help back in the Rotunda. With Bannon taken care of, all that's left to worry about now is the fuses, and then Project Purity can truly begin again, but until then we must,"

James chattered on about who knew what, filtration systems and pH levels as Doctor Li trailed after him, pouring over her notes. Posey hesitated, took a step towards her father, but glanced back at Jude over her shoulder.

"Go on, Blondie." He said, waving her off as he forced a smile. "I'll catch you later."

Posey nodded and gave him a smile, her dimple winking at him as she turned and ducked into the Rotunda.

Posey

That was twice now. She couldn't decide if she wanted to scream for being interrupted, run back to Jude and tackle him no matter who was looking, or bury herself in research and never look at him again. For the time being, the latter option seemed the only one available to her, so she transposed her father's records onto fresh paper in the Rotunda, listening to the gentle lapping water beneath her feet and her father's light humming under his breath as he worked, and tried to think only of that. She wasn't very successful.

Posey had, technically speaking, had her first kiss, but it was an awkward, hurried thing. A peck really, that grazed her lips and crashed onto her chin and then Freddie was gone. She'd found out later that it was only on a dare that he'd kissed her at all, which stung. Having her first kiss robbed in such an undignified fashion was one thing, but to have it posed in such a way that the act seemed so repulsive that it was dare worthy? Well that was just plain rude. Of course, there had been the incident on the night of her escape, with Butch, his lips hard and fast on hers, the cloying smell of his pomade heavy in her lungs as he lead her to where his mother was trapped. She'd never had the opportunity to kiss someone that she liked. Never in a million years would she have thought that she would even have the chance to kiss someone like Jude.

Then again, she thought wryly, perhaps she didn't. There always seemed to be an intrusion, usually in the form of her father. How embarrassing was that? Yet no matter how hard she concentrated on the numbers and figures before her, she couldn't help but let her mind wander back to how his fingers had felt on her face, and how Jude never smelled overpowering, not like Butch and definitely not like Mister Burke. Jude just smelled...clean. Which was miracle enough considering the circumstances. Clean, with the barest spike of leather or grease, depending on what he'd been doing. Yet it was heady and as intoxicating to her as the scent of the flowers back on Tranquility Lane. Not to mention his face. She really liked his face. A lot.

Jude was a puzzle. A jigsaw puzzle that Posey kept finding pieces of the more she looked. Physically, he was an enigma. He had a slew of outstanding features: His eyes (lord his eyes), his nose, his mouth, his cheekbones. Everything was big and intense but there was almost a sense of fragility about him. The delicate bow of his lips juxtaposed with the strong line of his nose, and the sweep of his eyelashes so close to his heavy brows. Logically speaking, his features shouldn't have worked so well together, but somehow they came together in a way that was, at least in Posey's opinion, intimidatingly attractive.

Not to mention as an individual, the ragged patchwork that made up Jude himself. The smiles and the jokes that turned to the brusque retorts and snarls if she prodded too long, peeled up too many corners. He was so gentle and so wild. So solid, and yet on the verge of shattering. She'd never encountered anything like him, and she doubted she ever would again, even if she lived to be a hundred and traveled this wasteland and all others under the sun.

"Posey? How's it coming?"

Posey looked up and saw her father, paused in the act of recording the reactor's levels. She looked down and saw that she'd been stuck on the same column of data for the last five minutes.

"Oh, um," She said, looking up at him and feeling the all too familiar sensation of blood rushing to her cheeks. "not great, sorry Dad."

"Not to worry." Said James, setting down his clipboard. "Perhaps we should stop for the day. Looking down at that tiny print all day is going to give you a headache, and it's nearly seven."

"Really?" asked Posey in surprise, and James smiled.

"You really have been down the rabbit hole this evening. Come on, we'll want to make it to Rivet City and back again before it gets too dark."

Jude was nowhere to be found as the two of them left the memorial, and Posey was almost grateful for that. She had no idea what she would say to him, even if she had run into him.

"Would you like to invite Mr. Hiller to join us for dinner?" Asked her father, looking down at her with an amused smile twisting his lips. Posey blushed, embarrassed to be caught in her blatant search.

"No, that's okay." Said Posey, scuffing her feet against the tile. "I haven't a clue where he is to ask."

"He does seem rather elusive these days." Said James conversationally. "But he certainly is very good at what he does. He's been on guard duty almost non stop for the past few weeks."

"Well that is what you're paying him for." Said Posey as they reached the gift shop exit. "He takes stuff like that seriously."

"As well he should." Said James, opening the door and stepping out into the wasteland. Posey followed, pausing to look up at the pale yellow clouds scattered across the sky, saturated in the sun's dying rays. It took her a moment to realize that her father had kept walking and was now a good distance away, looking back at her with a smile.

"Sorry," she called, rushing forward to catch up but James shook his head.

"Don't apologize, sweetheart." He said as she reached him. "You're mother use to say, 'Always take time to watch the sunrise.' it applies just as well to sunsets, I think."

"Even with the Project Purity waiting for us, the fate of the Wasteland resting on our shoulders?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and smirking up at him.

"Especially then." Said James as the two of them strolled forward, Posey linking her arm with his, like she'd done as a child. "It's always good to keep things in perspective, take time for the little things. It balances out the big things, such as saving the world and what not."

"Little things, huh." She mused, looking up at the vivid sky above them. "Well, the nuclear war caused haze is good for one thing, it makes for some pretty spectacular sunsets."

"That it does." Agreed James, looking upwards as well. "Trying times have always brought out the best and worst in situations and in people. You find out what a person is really made of when they've got nothing to hide behind. That was probably what made your mother so intriguing to me when I first met her. She never balked at anything, never let anything slow her down."

"You two must have been quite the power couple." Said Posey with a smile. "Jude told me you kept watch, that night after the Deathclaw attack. You didn't wake him up all night. Nothing's slowing you down, either."

"Except for those fuses." Said James, frowning as they entered Rivet City and headed for the galley.

"That's completely out of your control, Dad." Said Posey with a frown. "There's nothing you can, oh!"

In her attentiveness to her father, Posey hadn't been watching where she'd been going and had consequently crashed into a man exiting the Marketplace.

"Oh I'm so sorry." Said Posey, crouching down and picking up the man's faded felt fedora she'd knocked clean out of his hands. "I didn't even see you there." She looked up with an apologetic smile and held up the hat to the man, who was looking down at her with raised eyebrows.

"Not a problem, doll." Said the man slowly, taking the hat and easing it back onto his slick backed hair. "Don't worry about it." He, like Bannon, was wearing a double breasted suit coat, though his looked a little travel worn. His companion, similarly dressed though much larger than the man Posey had bumped into, watched the exchange with a slight smirk playing on his lips.

"Excuse me." Said Posey, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck rise and she was very glad for the familiar weight of her pistol at her hip. She felt her father's hand on her back as he ushered her down the steps, maneuvering carefully past the pair and down to the marketplace. When Posey glanced over her shoulder, the men were gone.

Jude

April gave way to May, and Jude was astonished at how quickly it had done so, considering the difficulty of setting any sort of routine, as the work that needed to be done always varied. With no word of fuses being found, James had decided they would try and build their own, something that Jude could actually help with. True, he'd had no formal training with such a thing, but he was a quick study, and building things and repairing odds and ends had always come naturally to him, and it was work he rather enjoyed.

Neither Posey nor Jude had brought up the two incidents in the little amount of time they'd been able to spend together over the spanning weeks. Posey had taken up a few guard shifts while Jude helped with rebuilding the fuses, and their schedules always seemed to be off, and Jude sometimes wondered if she was intentionally avoiding him, or perhaps, if James had something to do with their star crossed timetables. He thought the Doctor liked him well enough, and he was always more than happy to see Jude and explain something to him, but he always seemed to be around just when Jude thought he might finally get to talk to Posey on her own. This sort of behavior was completely foreign to Jude. He'd encountered many things in the Wasteland, but an overprotective father, attempting to shield his daughter from a boy's interest was never one of them.

Not that he knew exactly what his interest in Posey was. It was something he couldn't explain, even to himself. Sure, she was a good looking dame, he'd noticed that right from the beginning. But it was a sort of good looking he'd never known existed, and at first, one he didn't trust. Her eyes had seemed too big, her skin too pale, hair too shiny. She looked made of porcelain, ready to break at a moment's notice. She wasn't like that now. Her hair was always messy, her skin had darkened under the sun's rays and while her eyes were still bright and curious, they had a steely glint now, and when she looked someone over, Jude could almost see the gears turning in her head as to how she'd take them down, if she had to. It suited her, the Wasteland. Her numerous scars, some of them still red and angry looking, didn't detract from her appearance in the slightest. They added to it. She didn't look perfect, she didn't look fragile, but underneath it all, she still had that incorrigible sense of goodness Jude couldn't figure out. He didn't know if he really wanted to figure it out.

Luckily, he didn't have the time to even try.

His thoughts were averted rather violently to other things as the first week of May ended. Jude hated this month. The heat began to be oppressive, and despite his best efforts to completely submerse himself into Project Purity, he could hear them howling in his ear again. The barest whisperings of ghosts that he couldn't seem to shake. He'd done very well for so many years, but then he'd met Posey, and all her innocent poking and prodding was starting to peel up the patches he'd plastered there years ago. No one had ever asked about him before. No one had ever cared to know. All they cared about was how good of a shot he was, or how many caps he wanted for his salvage. Jude liked it that way. He'd thought he did anyway.

In a rare moment of seclusion, down in the bunk room of the Memorial building, Jude absently fingered the cool metal of the chain around his neck, running his fingers over the key dangling from the end. The grooves were blackened with dirt and grime, but along the top the metal gleamed from how many times he'd run his fingers over it, unintentionally polishing it smooth. He didn't know why he kept the damn thing. He was never going back. He had no reason to. He should just have gotten rid of it. He had so many opportunities to. He should have done it weeks ago, that night Posey had gotten clawed. He should have done it that day, seven years ago when he'd locked up the old place for good, when...

"Hey Jude? Are you down here?"

Posey's voice echoed in the hall and she appeared in the doorway to the room just as he hastily shoved the key back under his shirt.

"There you are," she said, smiling at him, her hands clasped behind her back. "I was hoping you'd be free, I've got something for...what's wrong?" She asked, her smile instantly fading and she stepped forward.

"Nothing." He said brusquely, sitting up and drawing a hand over his face.

"Your eyes are red," she said, crouching down in front of him, resting her hand on his knee as she looked up into his face, her brows knitted in concern. "do you have a headache, or a fever?"

"I said I'm fine." He said but Posey wasn't listening. Instead, she reached up and to his horror, brushed the chain still visible around his neck, sloppily tucked in in his haste to conceal it.

"What's this?" She asked and Jude stood up suddenly, leaving her crouched by the side of his bed.

"I said I'm fine." He growled. Posey stood up as well, still frowning and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Jude," She said imploringly, "talk to me! What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" He snapped. "Why do you always have to ask if I'm alright? I don't need you to doctor me, Blondie."

Posey bristled and Jude could see her fists clenching and her shoulders tensing.

"I ask because you're my friend and I'm worried about you!" She shot back. "Why do you get so defensive anytime I ask you something!"

"I don't need you to worry about me." He said, refusing to meet her gaze. He could feel his heartbeat thudding in his ears and he wished he could run, escape and find something that needed fixing, or maybe something that needed breaking, but Posey was standing firmly in the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest and glowering at him.

"Well too bad," she said sourly, "because I do worry about you. It's what friends do! They talk to each other, and they don't bite the other person's head off anytime they ask a simple question!"

"Then maybe I don't want to be your friend! You and your damn curiosity always poking into things that don't matter anymore!"

Posey gaped at him, and Jude knew that he'd gone too far, and in truth he regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth.

"Excuse me!" She demanded, finally finding a voice, and she'd gone from looking ready to burst into tears to wanting to punch his nose in. "You are such a hypocrite! And for the record, I wasn't even asking about your past! I wanted to know how you were right now! But now that we're on the subject, let's chat, Mr. Colorado. Let's talk about how you got to ask me all sorts of questions about the Vault or about my father or about Butch Deloria for crying out loud! But the moment, the very second I ask you for the tiniest detail, you'd shut me out! I feel like I don't even know you!"

"Why do you want to!" he demanded, "Why do you care so much about who I was?"

"Because you know everything there is to know about me!" She shouted, "And the only thing I know about you is that you are stubborn, hypocritical, asshole who refuses to compromise!"

"Well that should be more than enough for you shouldn't it." He said snidely, stepping past her and pounding his way up the stairs.

"Jude!" She yelled, and he could hear the anger in her voice. "Get back here!"

"Uh oh," Daniel, the asshole engineer stopped at the head of the stairs as Jude made his way up them, "trouble in paradise, huh? A bit of a lover's spat?" Jude shoved his way past him, ramming his shoulder into the man who stumbled and almost toppled down the stairs. His shouts mingled with Posey's but Jude didn't stop. He didn't run into anyone else either as he practically sprinted out of the memorial, out into the baking heat of The Wasteland. He could feel the rays beating down on his head, soaking into his skin. He felt the heat pressing down on him as he made his way to Rivet City, suppressing the urge to run as he tried to keep ahead of the ghosts nipping at his heels.

Posey

Posey was fuming. She could feel the anger percolating under her skin, flushing her face and clenching her fists. Daniel took one look at her and turned and fled back up the stairs, the same way Jude had left and Posey had half a mind to chase him down, just so she could expend some of the pent up rage that was making her muscles shake. Her palms, which had finally started to heal began to sting again as she clenched her hands so tight her fingers cramped and her nails dug into her skin, pushing into her flesh and sending small shoots of pain up her arms.

"Why you-" She kicked a nearby foot locker in her anger, and it fell over, springing open and spilling the contents of her duffel bag onto the floor. Posey swore in anger and kicked aside a spare vault suit, scowling ferociously.

"Posey?"

Posey whirled around and saw her father, entering hesitantly into the bunk room, keeping his eyes trained wairly on her.

"Everything alright, sweetheart?"

"Everything's peachy." She spat, sitting down hard on the nearest bunk and glaring at the floor.

"I saw Mr. Hiller, making a quick getaway." He said, joining her on the bed. "Did you two have a fight?"

"I guess that's the short version." Grumbled Posey.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Asked her Father, looking seriously down at her.

All at once, Posey felt all the fight go out of her, and she slumped back on the bed, looking glumly up at the bunk above her.

"No," She said dully. "not really anyway. Not physically, of course not physically."

"Then how?"

Posey sighed, "This is so cliche." She moaned, draping her arm over her eyes. "You want me to talk to you about boy troubles?"

"I don't think anything in your life is cliche, Posey." Said James wearily, shifting slightly on the bed so he was leaning against the footboard. "And if you would like to talk about it, then yes. I am all ears."

Posey groaned again, but lifted her arm and looked up at him sulkily.

"Right now?" She asked, and James shrugged.

"Whenever you're ready to talk." He said, patting her knee and getting to his feet. Posey watched him go, trying to calm her turbulent thoughts, sort through them into manageable piles. She'd rarely been so angry. She was surprised at how much the words both hurt and infuriated her. How miserably unfair he was being. How selfish, how idiotic.

"Wait," called Posey, hauling herself into a sitting position. Her father's footsteps paused, and he slowly appeared in the doorway. Posey patted the space next to her, and her father took a seat, looking expectantly at her. Posey took a deep breath and let it out slow before saying,

"We did have a fight. I came down to give him something, and he was just staring out at nothing, and his eyes were red. So I asked him what was wrong and he just blew up at me. He always does that, anytime I ask a question."

"Everytime?" Asked James raising an eyebrow.

"Well, not everytime." Amended Posey. "That's why it's so confusing! I can never tell when he's willing to talk or if he's going to get defensive and angry. It's not fair, he asked me all sorts of questions and I would answer them, when we were looking for you. He would ask me why I left the Vault, he asked me who Freddie Gomez was and all sorts of other questions and it's not fair! I..." She blushed and looked down at the floor, "I haven't held anything back with him." She muttered, still looking at the ground. "I tell him everything, and I get nothing in return."

James was quiet for a moment, looking down at the ground with a thoughtful frown, the only time James ever really frowned around her.

"Posey," He said slowly, "I'm going to tell you something that might make you angry. And know that I'm not taking any sides by any means, I'm just offering you some outside advice."

"Alright," Said Posey slowly, drawing one knee up to her chest and looking at him warily.

"I'm very glad you didn't grow up out here." said James after another contemplative silence. "Admittedly, our entrance into the Vault was far from ideal but I'm grateful that you spent your childhood where you did. I've already told you, living out here in the Wastes...It isn't easy. You make sacrifices and decisions that you regret all in the name of one thing, survival. It takes up so much of what you are and leaves little behind for anything else. You lose things out here. You lose people, and in some instances, more than once. And that sort of pain is difficult to understand unless you've experienced it before."

"So..." Said Posey, drawing the vowels out and looking up at her father with knitted brows. "I should apologize?"

"I don't think you've done anything inherently wrong." Said her father with a shrug. "I think you were just being you. My wonderfully curious, inquisitive girl always chasing after knowledge. It's just," He paused again, frowning slightly at nothing in particular until he finally let his gaze find hers, and he was looking oddly somber. "sometimes you have to be careful." He said, his voice low and serious. "You might not like what you find. And you can't unlearn things, not completely."

Posey dropped her gaze, biting her lip and feeling her stomach clench in apprehension.

"I think you should talk to him." Said her father, and she could feel his reassuring hand smoothing back her tangled hair and getting to his feet. "He probably just needs time to sort out his head, not unlike yourself. Give him time and room to do so. He's just a boy, a very large very surly boy but a boy none the less. I'm fairly well versed in their mannerisms, seeing as I was one myself at one one time."

Posey felt a slight smile twitch on his lips as she looked up at him, "I'm trying to imagine a scenario where you and Jude have anything in common." Said Posey with a smile. "It's a very amusing prospect."

"It shouldn't be that hard." He said with a shrug. "I don't know Mr. Hiller very well, but I know at least one thing we have in common."

"Oh?" Asked Posey, raising her eyebrow.

"We both care a great deal about you." Said James with a smile. He turned and left, and Posey felt her breathing hitch as she looked back down, flushing.

Once her father was gone, Posey got to her feet and started putting all the things she'd upended back in place. She folded her spare suits with mechanical movements and smoothed the rumpled sleeping bag on her bunk, straightening the edges and then pausing, remembering Jude's smirk as he'd tossed the bedroll to her. She shook her head with a sigh, and straightened up. Hopefully, by the time she made it to Rivet City, Jude would have, as her father had put it, sorted out his head.

It took much longer than Posey would have thought to find Jude. She'd asked Harkness if he'd seen him, to which she'd received a rude but not unexpected snappy retort. The guards were also as touchy and unhelpful and Vera of the Weatherly Hotel hadn't seen him. She was just about to give up when she encountered a door she'd never seen before. Hesitantly, she tested the handle, and swung the door open.

She recognized the smell before anything else, stale cigarette smoke and spirits, not unlike the pervasive air of Moriarty's place and Posey immediately drew the conclusion that this place was a bar. She edged inside uncertainly, looking at the few patrons on the upper level warily. None of them were Jude, but as she approached the railing of the level, she could see a familiar figure hunched over the bar. Posey raised her eyebrows and hurried down the steps.

Jude made no move of acknowledgment as she drew closer, and Posey could see that his eyes were unfocused and his cheeks flushed. There was a glass in front of him with half an inch of amber liquid at the bottom and Posey asked hesitantly, "Jude?"

Jude lifted his head, his movements sluggish but still sure, like they always were. Jude didn't waste actions. His eyes finally met hers and Posey saw the barest flicker of recognition flash in their green depths.

"Jude," She said again, taking the stool next to him. "are you...drunk?"

"I think so," He said with a slight frown. "I sure as hell hope so. That's why I came to this dive in the first place. To get piss drunk." He downed the rest of the drink in front of him and rapped his knuckles on the bar. A rather forlorn looking woman with a stained apron and a limp brown bun refilled his glass, then disappeared again. "Man," He said, picking up the glass and squinting down at the drink. "I hate drunk people. Have I ever told you that, Blondie? How much I hate drunk people?"

"No, you haven't told me that." Said Posey while Jude took a sip and grimaced.

"They're so sloppy." He mumbled, taking another careful swig. "Ahh, this stuff...is really bad. It's really bad." Unsteadily, he held the glas out to her, the amber liquid sloshing around the sides "Wanna try some?"

"No thanks," Said Posey, gently pushing the glass away. "Jude, I-"

"You're smart, Blondie." He said shrewdly, pointing at her and nodding sagely. "You're a real Egghead, you know? Billy Creel, back in Megaton, he use to tell dumb blonde jokes, till he got sweet on Jenny Stahl, but I never got them. What did blonde hair have to do with smarts?"

"Nothing," Said Posey with a frown. "It's just old Pre-War predicated sexism and-"

"See what I mean!" He cried, "Smart! But," He paused and blinked slowly, and almost as an afterthought took another drink. "But if you were really smart, you'd turn right around and never look back."

Posey flinched, feeling her heart thud in her ears and her fists clench. "W-what?" She stuttered, feeling her palms sting just as much as her ego.

"I'm sorry, Blondie." He said dully, finally dropping his gaze. He looked utterly exhausted. "I'm sorry for everything that I've done. You know, I was half wishing you'd walk through that door." He gestured towards the entrance to the Muddy Rudder with a limp hand. "And I was half wishing I'd never see you again."

"Jude," said Posey, her voice catching in her throat.

"I'm only gonna do you wrong, Blondie." He said, his voice bleak and every syllable fraught with pain. "I'm gonna mess this up." He shook his head as his own voice hitched and rapped his knuckles on the bar again. "It's just my luck." Said Jude into his fresh glass with a dark chuckle. "I find a real firecracker. Smart as a tack and gorgeous and you know the worst part?"

"What?" Asked Posey quietly, feeling as if someone was pinching her heart.

"You like me." He said, looking at her like it was the worst thing in the world. His eyelids drooped and he looked away, drawing a hand over his face. "I know you do, Blondie. I like you too. I like you a lot. But I...I can't..." He shook his head and went to take another drink but Posey covered his glass with her hand, lowering it back to the bar.

"Can't what?" She asked, looking at him and feeling her heart pound in her chest.

"I can't have you." He said simply, looking up at her, and his eyes looked suddenly clearer. "I can't have you, because I'm only gonna do you wrong and I can't..." He let out a shuddering breath and scrubbed his eyes with his free hand, dropping his glass on the bar and holding his head in his hands. "I can't..." He said brokenly and Posey had to clench her fists to keep them from shaking and bite her lip to hold back a sob. She could see now, the ragged and razor sharp edges that made up Jude, the ones he'd tried to bind and hold together with the scraps he could find. He was barbed wire and cut glass and yet...Posey wasn't afraid. There were things about Jude that were broken, and maybe part of him was in pieces, but he'd put himself back together again, and Posey couldn't help but think how amazing that was.

"Hey," She said, moving her hand from his glass to his hand. "Jude, I-"

"Don't," He said, shaking his head minutely. "Posey, please don't. I wish I could tell you better, but I can't just... It's like," he sighed. "It's like I was born with this gun in my hand." He said looking down at her, the skin taut with pain around his eyes, and the wrinkles she loved to see crinkled in a smile were more prominent than ever. "I was born with this. This gun, and no one's bothered to teach me how to use it, and it keeps going off and," He closed his eyes, "I don't wanna hurt you, Blondie." He said at last, looking down at her. His eyes looked fractured, ready to shatter and the pinching hold on Posey's heart grew tighter. "I don't want to hurt you." He repeated emphatically. "And I'm so afraid I'm going to. You deserve, you of all people, deserve to be happy."

"I am happy." She said vehemently. "Or at least I was until you decided you could make that decision for me."

"I'm only going to hurt you, one way or another." Said Jude, dropping his gaze. "Somehow I'm-"

"Can't I decide if I want to take that risk?" She asked, almost angrily, scooting her stool closer. "We all get hurt sometimes, Jude. We all have regrets and heartache and we don't get to chose when these things happen to us. Can we try and avoid it, by hiding in dives and drinking ourselves into oblivion? Yeah, but should we?"

"If you're gonna hide, choose a place with better drinks." Said Jude, and Posey's lips twitched in a smile.

"Things are going to hurt in life." She said quietly, still keeping her hand clasped over his. "Some things are gonna hurt like hell but it's because they're important. It hurts because it matters, Jude. And I want to know you. I want to know everything about you."

"You know my name." He said, refusing to look at her. "My real name. I can count on one hand how many people know that, and you know my favorite color. I didn't even know I had a favorite color, until I met you. Now I know it's blue. Why can't that be enough for you?"

"I just want you to trust me." Said Posey, drawing back.

"I do trust you."

"But you always shut me out." She murmured, ducking her head slightly so Jude was forced to meet her gaze.

"If I could I would shut me out," he said, looking at her from under his lashes. "It's got nothing to do with trust."

"Please, Jude." She leaned forward again, and Jude looked up at her without lifting his chin. "Just let me ask you one question." She said, "Just one."

"Blondie," He said wearily.

"Why did you help me?" She asked firmly. "Why did you help me find my dad, when there was absolutely nothing in it for you."

Jude didn't speak for a moment. He stared down at the drink in front of him, tracing the rim of the glass with his finger and frowning. Posey could see his freckles, despite his rosy cheeks, a galaxy's worth of golden brown constellations dotting his skin.

"When I first saw you," He said at last. "I didn't know what to think. You were so pale, practically translucent, and your eyes were so big and so blue and that ridiculous jacket."

Posey scowled slightly, shoving her hands stubbornly into the pockets of her Tunnel Snakes jacket.

"I saw you and I thought, she'll be dead by the end of the day." Continued Jude, still observing his drink, rather than her. "You reminded me, now don't laugh at me, but you reminded me of this teacup, that I found when I was scavenging. It was white, the brightest white I'd ever seen. It had a blue flower, painted on it and I knew it was worthless, that no one would buy it but I couldn't help but stare at it. It was unlike anything I'd ever come across before. Then, Raiders found me and I dropped it. I can still remember the sound it made when it broke. It was almost, musical." He paused, drumming his fingers against the bar and frowning, his eyes unfocused again, and Posey couldn't tell if it was because of the drink or the nostalgia. "It was demolished but still..."

He was quiet for another minute and Posey didn't dare move. This was probably the most she'd ever heard Jude say without her chiming in.

"When I was seventeen, before I signed up with Patrick and the Wasteland Warriors, I went looking for my dad. I hadn't seen him for seven years. I had no idea where he was, no idea where to look even. But I found him. He was sitting, right in that stool you're at right now."

Posey looked down at the stool she was sitting on, then back up at Jude, who still wasn't meeting her gaze.

"It took me almost three months to find him. I'd been combing the Wasteland for weeks, and I just decided one day to poke my head in here, into this dump, and there he was. Sitting at the bar, alone and drunk off his ass. I don't know how many times I'd checked this damn boat up and down for him, and just on some Tuesday afternoon, there he was. It was May thirteenth."

Posey started slightly, looking down at her Pip-Boy, and saw the date glowing in green green numbers: 05-13-2277.

"I went up to him, I asked, 'Are you Sal Hiller?'. He was so plastered, I don't know how he was still sitting up straight, but he nodded and asked, 'who the hell are you?'. He didn't recognize me. How could he? I don't think he'd recognize his own mother at that point. He didn't have the faintest idea who I was, but he said, he had a son about my age. And even though I was a complete stranger, he had no problem telling me how his 'good for nothing son' ruined his life."

Posey didn't speak, she simply watched as Jude downed the rest of his drink.

"I was going to leave him there," Said Jude, "just walk away, and never look back but two guys in slick suits came into the bar, tried to haul him off. Said he owed Mister Burke something. A lot of somethings. I tried to stop them, there was a fight that I lost horrifically." Jude traced the scar on his temple. "They probably would have killed me, but another guy at the bar stepped in and told them to: 'lay off the kid.'. Turned out that man was Patrick. So they drug my dad off and I never saw him again."

Posey didn't know what to say, so she just listened, and waited.

"So, when I heard you were looking for your dad...I guess I kind of wanted to see if the Wasteland treated everyone like shit or if I was just particularly unlucky."

"Jude," Said Posey after a pause, "I'm so sorry."

She knew that it fell flat, even though she was in complete sincerity. There was just nothing you could say to that. She wanted to comfort him and to apologize all at the same time, but anything else she could have said would have had the same effect. No matter what she said, Jude's father would still be gone, and he'd still be fractured by it, and her father would still be here, and Posey would still never completely understand what Jude was feeling. She'd never completely understand him, and all of his pieces.

Neither of them spoke, and Jude didn't drink anymore, just stared out at nothing. Posey sat, feeling small and uncomfortable and impossibly sad and wishing she could evaporate on the spot. He father was right in a sense. She hadn't liked what she'd found. Not the story itself, but the pain she could feel radiating off Jude. She'd caused that. Indirectly maybe, but she'd brought it up. Because she couldn't keep her questions to herself. Because she was curious.

"Jude," She tried, but he shook his head.

"I know what you're feeling, Blondie. I don't resent you because you found your dad. I told you, you deserve to be happy."

"So do you." She said, "You haven't done anything wrong."

Jude laughed, "You don't know that, Blondie."

"But I do." She insisted. "You haven't done anything to wrong me. That's all I know, and..." She swallowed hard. "That's enough for me. You've been nothing but good to me and my dad. I know that, and I'm sorry, for what I said, and for...anything else."

She got unsteadily to her feet. She'd been leaning forward on her stool and the blood flow to her feet had been reduced and now they were alive with pins and needles.

"We could still use a Merc, at the memorial." She said gently. "You'll know where to find us. And I..." She paused, and brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen into his eyes. Jude closed his eyes as she withdrew her hand. "I could still use a friend, if you'll have me."

She turned and hurried out of the Muddy Rudder, and forced herself not to look back.

Jude didn't return that night. So Posey took his usual guard shift, and Garza kindly offered to relieve her of guard duty around three in the morning. Posey was grateful not only to have a chance to sleep, but be able to shut her brain off. Guard duty was too solitary and too quiet and a veritable breeding ground for unhelpful and guilt ridden thoughts. She'd barely managed to crawl up the ladder onto her top bunk, but it had been a relief to swap her armored suit for a simple night shirt Janice had lent her, and let her head fall onto her pillow, finally allowing her overworked brain to slow. It felt like she'd only been asleep for five minutes when she felt someone gently shaking her shoulder.

"Somebody better be dying or there'd better be an army of Super Mutants pounding on our door to justify this." She groaned, still keeping her eyes shut tight.

"No Mutants," Said a familiar voice. "and I'm pretty sure I'm not dying. Although I am quite hungover."

Posey sat up quickly, her eyes flying open as she looked down at Jude, who was standing beside her bunk, smiling and looking like death warmed over but much more alert than she was use to seeing that early in the morning.

"Jude?" She asked, unable to fight the grin forming on her lips. "What're you-"

"Come on," He said, motioning for her to come down. "I got something I wanna show you."

He was grinning widely, despite his red rimmed eyes and the dark circles beneath them. His hair was awry and he was in dire need of a shave, but he looked better than he had last night.

"When did you get here?" Asked Posey, rubbing her eyes. "What time is it?"

"Early." Said Jude, "Come on!"

"Just a second!" Laughed Posey, making her unsteady way out of her bunk. "I can barely see straight, I'm going to crash into something."

"Well hurry it up." Said Jude impatiently, "I don't know how long it will last."

"How long what will last?" She asked, finally standing upright in front of him and rubbing sleep from her eyes, slowly coming out of the sleepy fog she was in. She was definitely awake enough to see the smile that grew on Jude's face however, and feel the leap her stomach made as she felt his hand take hers. It dwarfed her own and was so warm, so weatherbeaten and rough with callouses it sent a shiver down her spine.

"I'll show you." He said.

Posey couldn't help the gasp that slipped past her lips as jude opened the door to the memorial. The sky above them, covered in its usual curtain of clouds and fog was blazing with colors. Delicate pink wisps trailed across the pale blue grey sky, accompanied by enormous columns of golden cumulus clouds. The very air seemed to be soaked in gold, and far of on the horizon, she could see the clouds under bellies painted a fiery orange as the sun skulked out of view, reluctant to rise. The moon was still up, framed as it was by the blush colored clouds and Posey felt something in her chest stir at the stunning display around her.

The paving stones were cold under her bare feet as she stepped out further so as to take in the entire sky around her, looking up into the depths. It seemed both close enough to touch and impossibly far away.

"This is beautiful." She said, tearing her gaze away from the watercolor sky above her to look back at Jude, who stood with his arms folded and watching her with a smile playing on his lips. The sepia toned air made his eyes impossibly green. Fairy tale green. The kind of green of lush growing things. A green the Wasteland had forgotten existed.

"Thought you might like it." Said Jude, leaning back against the memorial and looking up at the sky. "Don't think I've ever seen anything quite like it before. Must be a good sign; waking up to this."

Posey hummed in agreement, looking up at the clouds above her, eyes shining.

"You got goosebumps, Blondie." Said Jude, looking down at her arm as he joined her.

"Can't help it." She said, not looking down. "It's chilly, and this is...amazing. Truly," She looked down at him and smiled. "thank you, Jude. Thank you for waking me up and..."

Thank you for coming back. She thought.

"It's payback for all the times you've dragged me out of bed at ungodly hours." He said with a shrug and Posey laughed looking up at the sky, a smile still lingering on her lips. The wonder of it all made her bold and she surprised Jude and herself by laying her head against his arm, the top of her head just brushing his shoulder, and slipping her arm round his waist. Hesitantly, as if he weren't sure how his own limbs worked, Jude lifted his arm up slightly, so she was leaning more against his shoulder, where his arm met his torso, and rested it on her shoulders. She could feel the muscles still tense in his arm so she gave his waist a little squeeze, and slowly, his arm relaxed and even his breathing seemed to come a little easier.

"I know you, Jude." She said at last, looking from the sky, to him. She still had to look up, and the clouds wreathed his head, their pastel hues standing out vividly against his dark hair. "I know everything important, anyway."

"You think?" He asked looking down at her and the skin around his eyes crinkled in a smile that made the one on her face grow exponentially.

"Yeah," She said, looking out over the Wasteland and resting her head against him. "I know your name. I know your favorite color. I know you're not a morning person, but you are a good person. That's enough for me, for the moment."

"So you've finally accepted the fact that I'm not a raging psychopath who preys on young girls?"

Posey laughed, and she could feel Jude's chest hum with his own repressed chuckle.

"Until proven otherwise." She said with a smile. "I won't ask, anymore. It doesn't mean I don't want to know, but...You can tell me if you want to. But I won't ask anymore. I promise. Who you were doesn't matter to me. I just want to know who you are right now."

"What about your silly questions like favorite colors and such."

"Oh you're not off the hook for those." Said Posey at once. "Don't be absurd. That's part of who you are right now."

"Did you just call me a turd?" He asked incredulously, pulling back slightly and looking down at her with raised eyebrows.

"No!" Said Posey, "I said don't be absurd."

"Egghead." He accused, but he drew her closer and Posey felt her heart race, but it was not at all an unpleasant feeling.

"Grease Monkey." She shot back, and Jude scowled.

"Keep calling me names and you're gonna be out of a Merc and a friend."

"Is that what we are? Friends?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," He said with a shrug, "damn good friends."

"Pretty damn good friends." Posey agreed with a wide grin.

An:/ Sorry about the break! My life has been pretty hectic, and I've had lots of family around. Family before writing, sorry guys. It's just how it is.

This chapter was pretty much self indulgent fluff with a little character backstory thrown in so I could actually justify posting it. So there you go. Also, if you don't know who this song is by, you should be ashamed of yourself. This song is where I got Jude's name, and it is so perfect for him it gives me quote unquote '"feels". So many feels. *insert Crowley gif FEELINGS here* I'm sorry if there's tons of mistakes, I just wanted to get something out to you guys before I head out of town for a couple of days. So, be gentle with me, darlings. Be gentle.

Shoutout as always to the lovely Latisha McPeanuts and tirechanclas (There may come a time when I can just spell your username without having to copy and paste it from your profile, but today is not that day). They've been with this story for the long haul, and they're wonderful.

Also to my new reviewers GothicAngel-sama and skinnyboy282. You guys are awesome and I love you and wish I could offer you some baked good as a thank you for your amazingness. Also the guest reviewer on the last chapter, thank you for your kind words.

That's all for now, we'll be getting back into some Actiony stuff next time so stay tuned! I love you all, thanks for reading and don't do drugs!

xoxoxo

Living Pretty