"I'm home." Lexa called out; throwing her keys in the bowl on the table.
"Morning Lexa." Gustus replied from the living room.
"Hey sweetheart, everything okay?" Ali questioned; after seeing her daughter yesterday she had a right to be worried.
"It was good, really good. I think I'm actually helping Clarke." Lexa smiled brightly.
"That's great Lex, that sweet girl has been through so much." The older woman said proud of the brunette. "Oh something came for you; I put the package in your room." Ali informed her; a sly smile tugging at her lips.
"What is it?" The brunette spoke to herself more than to her mom, as she walked up the stairs. She opened her bedroom door, but she didn't see a package in sight. When she stepped over the threshold, she was met with a surprise.
"Hey Ass-face." A familiar voice called out.
Before Lexa could even react, she felt something hit her straight in the face; bursting its liquid contents all over her. Then the second and third water balloon hit her torso and shoulder.
"What the hell Anya?" Lexa snapped; while the other girl was laughing.
"Don't play the innocent with me! Mom told me what you and Dad said about me. I'll have you know I do have friends at the Academy!" She corrected.
"Like you said I wasn't the only one, does Dad get water thrown in his face." Lexa growled.
"Oh don't you worry, Dad should be getting a taste of my revenge any second now." Anya said deviously; walking towards Lexa's door. And as if on cue a commotion could be heard downstairs.
"ANYAAAA" the deep voiced echoed through the wall of the house.
The blonde girl was wearing a proud smirk, when she turned to face Lexa.
"I might have put four spoons of salt in his coffee, instead of sugar. Whoops." She jokingly placed her hand over her mouth for emphasis.
Lexa laughed when she heard Ali having a go at Gustus.
"What's all the noise about?" Ali walked into the living room to find coffee sprayed over the leather furniture, the laminate floor and the table in the middle of the room.
Gustus was still wearing an appalled look on his face, as he tried to get rid of the horrible taste in his mouth. The older brunette caught on quite quickly what had happened.
"I told you to not make fun of Anya! You better get this mess cleared up now!" She demanded leaving her husband before he could argue.
Lexa shook her head at Anya. "You're the devil child."
"In my defence he should know me better; I have never offered to make coffee before." The blonde shrugged. "Maybe now it will make you both think twice before making fun of me, when I'm not here." Anya crossed her arms; a triumphant smile reached her cheeks.
"Yeah about that, I know you didn't come all this way from the Academy just to teach Dad and me a lesson. So what are you really doing here?" Lexa asked curiously
"Bad news kiddo, I won't be able to come to your fancy dress party." An uncharacteristic sympathetic look washed over her face.
Lexa grabbed a pillow from her bed and threw it at the older girl.
"Hey I was being genuine. I feel really bad, that I'm not going to be there for your sweet eighteen." She chimed.
"Oh please, you never wanted to come. You only got an invite because Mom said I had to." Lexa scoffed.
"Ouch." Anya dramatically grabbed at her heart. "That hurt." She teasingly added. "In all seriousness I am sorry, but this brings me to the good news I have, I am going to take you shopping."
"I hate shopping." Lexa said in a deadpan voice.
"Don't be so selfish, I like it and what better present to give you than spending time with your big sis." Anya smiled.
"Fine, let me have a quick shower first." Lexa started to walk out the door.
"But you just had one" Anya bit her lip to stop her laughter escaping.
The brunette turned sharp on her heels, her face stoic. She looked very intimidating, as her eyes pierced into the blonde's brown ones.
"You're cleaning that up, or I'll tell mom you're the one who scratched her beloved mustang three years ago, when you snuck out to meet Taylor." Lexa smirked; seeing Anya's face drop.
"Now who's the devil child?" The blonde propped her eyebrow.
"I learned from the best." Lexa released a toothy grin, before leaving Anya in the room.
Xx
Clarke had missed spending time with Octavia, she was so glad she went through with this. Things where finally starting to look brighter for the young blonde; feeling a bit more like herself again.
"Did you want to go to Emori's shop then get something to eat, I'm starving." Octavia growled.
"We can get something to eat first, if you think you won't be able to go on." Clarke smirked
"Hmm I detect a hint of sarcasm, with a dash of patronization." The brunette mocked.
"That would be correct; I'll only be forty minutes tops." Clarke grabbed at her best friend's hand leading her towards her favourite shop.
"Clarke, when have we ever spent forty minutes in Emori's shop?" Octavia moaned
"This time is different; I know exactly what I want. I have this picture in my head O; this jacket has to be perfect!" The blonde protested.
"I know you're a perfectionist Clarke, but you seem to be going all out for Lexa."
"What?" Clarke blurted out, but she couldn't hide the redness that corrupted her cheeks. "What do you mean?"
"You seem to really like her." The brunette shrugged.
"Of course I do, she's helped me so much O. I owe her" Clarke defended.
"Okay." Octavia said; whilst pulling an unconvinced face. A look the blonde knows very well.
"What?" Clarke prompted
"I just think there's more to this story, but I can wait until you want to talk about it. I'm a great bestie like that." The brunette said nonchalantly
They started to walk towards Emori's shop, a place where the girls have spent many hours in before. Octavia moved with pace, while Clarke looked like she was having an internal battle; her thoughts weighing her down.
The brunette suddenly got a sense of feeling that she was alone, she turned to see the blonde had stopped.
"Clarke, what are-" Octavia began to question before that internal battle Clarke was having come pouring out.
"Fine, I like her! I really like her O, I feel like it's so easy to be around her, but at the same time I find it so hard to breathe when she looks at me. What's with that huh? Don't even get me started on her eyes, it's not just the beautiful colour they harbour, but the emotions she portrays through them with a single look. It drives me crazy! Plus we have this unspoken connection; she just knows how to help me when I need her the most. Lexa brought me back to you O; she has helped me just by being there. She's amazing." Clarke took a deep breath, she felt so much better finally getting it off her chest.
Octavia remained in awe, as she watched her best friend blue eyes lit up when she spoke about Lexa. She never expected this, when she pushed Clarke to speak.
"Quiet Octavia is never good." The blonde said nervously. "I was a bit full on, huh?"
She still wasn't able to form any words; truth be told she didn't know what to say to what Clarke had confessed.
"Are you freaking out because I might like girls too? Because I'm still the same Clarke, I haven't changed. Please just say something" The blue eyed girl pleaded.
"I don't want you getting hurt, Clarke." Her voice was low and sincere
"What?" the blonde replied confused.
"You've fallen for her hard Griffin." Octavia pushed her eyebrows up for emphasis. She could see Clarke was thinking her words over.
"I know." The blonde said sadly.
"She's nearly eighteen, and your—" Octavia nervously began
"I get it." Clarke snapped; not wanting to hear the truth.
"I don't mean to—"
"I know" the blonde's voice was lighter, with a tiny smile. "You're just looking out for me; like you always do."
"Damn right" Octavia hooked her arm over Clarke's shoulder. "Come on lover girl lets go make the best jacket, Lexa will ever have."
"I love you O, I'm sorry—"Clarke felt guilty but the brunette interruption put her feelings to rest.
"I understand, I'm just glad you're back." She placed a peck on her cheek. A small tug at her lips indicating she was thinking of something deviously "No homo." She punned; bursting into laughter, shoving her friend gently. "I'm sorry but I couldn't resist, but I do love you too."
Clarke pushed her dorky friend back with a laughter of her own.
The girls continued their walk to Emori's shop, when Octavia came to an abrupt stop, when a thought suddenly crossed her mind.
"Oh" She gasped
"What?" Clarke looked panicked.
"Poor Wells, I think his got it bad for you, little does he know he doesn't stand a chance, does he?" Her face remained dead serious, whilst Clarke couldn't help the amusement that left her mouth.
"Come on, dork." She grabbed her hand to make her continue her walk.
Xx
Octavia was pleasantly surprised, when they were leaving Emori's shop, having only spent forty-five minutes looking and feeling materials for Lexa's jacket; it must have been a world-record for them.
"I told you I knew exactly what I wanted." Clarke beamed; swing the shopping bag in her hand.
"Yes you did, now can we get something to eat. I'm starving."
"What do you fancy my Drama Queen?" The blonde laughed. Her thoughts quickly diverted to Lexa, and a wide smile corrupted her features at their conversation yesterday about who was the drama queen. She really did have it bad for the older girl, she didn't even realise the dramatic hand waving in her face, until she finally heard her name being called out.
"Earth to Clarke!" Octavia prompted; her handing waving in front of the blonde's face.
"Huh?" A dazed Clarke questioned.
"Well you asked me what I wanted. I replied, but your mind was clearly on Mars or something."
"I'm sorry, I must off zoned out." Clarke concluded
"Uh huh, I've only ever seen your face light up like that once before. You were thinking of her, right?" Octavia smirked knowing she was right.
Clarke didn't know what she was thinking of course her best friend saw right through her.
"I always thought she was the coolest person in school." The blonde said to herself more than to best friend; her face lighting up again, as she spoke about Lexa.
"Well yeah she's popular for a reason." Octavia said obviously.
"That's just it she's the biggest dork I know, I like seeing that side of her." Clarke smiled at the thought.
"If you're going to be all mushy over Lexa then I really going to need food, before you continue." Octavia pouted.
"You know what? This day is about spending time with you, my 'mushy' feelings about Lexa can wait." Clarke said; smiling brightly at the brunette. "So where did you want to eat?"
"McDonalds, I really fancy chicken nuggets. And don't think I'm sharing, you've got to get your own Griffin" Her best friend warned.
"Deal, let's go then."
Xx
The girls were walking towards the designated eating place, when something caught Octavia's eye.
"Oh wow; Clarke look at the new Police Interceptor; it looks so cool." Octavia saw the picture of the car on a poster, hanging on the translucent fake walls surrounding the car. She quickly started to notice a queue of people.
"I thought you were starving." Clarke replies dramatically.
"They're letting people, sit inside of it. Come on it will only take ten minutes." The brunette begged.
"Fine." Clarke growled; she didn't share her best friend's passion for police vehicles. That was something Octavia got from her dad. He is the Captain at the Polis Police Department.
As they drew near, a small kid sat in the driver seat of the police interceptor. The scruffy boy grabbed harshly at the steering wheel, dragging it to the left and then to the right, as his mind played a scenario of dodging traffic. His eyes caught the attention of a button, he smirked feeling the urge to push it, and like any hyper child he did. A loud siren sound echoed through the mall, as the red and blue lights flashed brightly through the translucent walls that were partially surrounding the vehicle.
One of the police officers was quick to switch it off; causing too much noise in a closed environment, but little did they know the damage was already done.
Clarke froze abruptly seeing the red and blue lights appear through the fake walls and it hit her chest like a freight train. The memories surged to surface with force, immediately sucking the air out of the blonde's lungs. Remembering the red and blue lighting up her house like a Christmas tree, as the police turned up the night she lost her father.
Clarke was yanked back into the darkness aggressively; everything started to turn blurring; the air around her becoming too thick to breathe in. The bag she was previously swinging with happiness dropped to the floor, before her body hit the floor. She could barely hear Octavia's voice, screaming for help. Random blurry faces appeared in front of her; telling her to breathe as if it wasn't the most obvious thing.
No matter how many times Clarke tried to breathe in the air around her, nothing was going in. Dizziness was the next thing to occur, the room was spinning. She could feel herself slipping further into the darkness; she was ready to succumb when a voice pulled her back, a warm touch on her skin.
"Clarke." A soothing voice said.
Xx
Within twenty minutes at being at Arkadia mall, Lexa was bored but spending time with Anya made it bearable. She had missed her since she left to join the Academy to become a police officer.
"Oh look, it's your friends in blue." Lexa joked; gesturing with a side nod.
"Huh? Very funny!" Anya nudged her younger sister. "I guess they're doing some community thing." She sounded unsure; whilst looking at the police pop up stall, with the new police inceptor vehicle.
"Wow they've gone all out this year" Lexa said; admiring the new design.
"To think I could be driving one of those bad boys soon." Anya gloated
"No one in their right mind would give you the keys, the way you drive. Not if they want to survive." Lexa mocked.
"I'm a great driver, not my fault other people get in my way." She huffed
"That's just called traffic, Anya. It's quite common actually." The brunette teased
"Shut up." Anya jabbed Lexa in her arm, before walking off towards the police stall. She suddenly grabbed her ears to protect them from loud siren noise that boomed off the walls of the mall.
The brunette was hot on her tail, when a scream erupted over by the far side. She could see a crowd of people hovering.
Her heart dropped when she noticed a distress Octavia on the phone; kneeling next to Clarke. She sprinted over there, as fast as she could.
"Move!" she shouted. "Give her room to breathe."
Clarke was losing consciousness; her lips were turning blue; her lungs still weakly trying to inhale oxygen.
"Clarke." She called smoothingly. "It's Lexa; you're going to be okay." Blue eyes flashed open meeting worried green.
The brunette sadly smiles down at her. "I need you to concentrate on my voice; we're going to count backwards from ten, okay?"
Clarke nods.
"Ten" Lexa drags at the word waiting for the blonde to say it before going onto the next number. Clarke follows pursuit; it comes out rushed and breathless.
"Nine, eight, seven, six, five…" With each passing number her breathe started to get slower and deeper; her lips slowing returning to their normal colour.
"That's it Clarke, you're doing great." Lexa says in a relieved tone, she starts to rub circles on her back.
"Okay people, let's move it, nothing else to see here." Anya clapped the growing crowd away, knowing the young girl wouldn't want an audience.
"Thank you" Lexa mouthed
"Two, one." Clarke finished; something as simple as counting had helped her get out of her dark thoughts. Maybe it was because Lexa was there to get her through it, either way the blonde was just grateful. Once she finally conquered them, the anxiety started to lift off her chest, allowing her to breathe in the air that had always been surrounding her.
"That's it Clarke, take a deep breaths through your nose and release it through your mouth. " Lexa instructed, whilst performing the action.
"Yes Mrs Griffin, she seems to have come out of it." Octavia nods. "Oh Okay we're on the ground floor outside Macy's next to the new police stand." She hanged up the phone. "Abby is just parking up the car; she wants to take Clarke to the hospital."
"I don't want to go. I just want to go home." The blonde moaned weakly; resting her head on Lexa's shoulder. "Lexa I'm so sorry."
"Hey you have nothing to apologise for." The brunette held her tighter to help reassure.
Clarke smiled at the comfort, her eyes soon locked on to unfamiliar brown eyes.
Lexa quickly saw the slight frown she wore on her eyebrows.
"Clarke I'll like you to meet Anya, my sister in crime." Lexa smiled. "Anya this is Clarke Griffin."
"Don't let her fool you kiddo, she pretends to be a badass, but she is just too dorky to be my partner in crime. You can even ask our mom she will back me up." The older girl corrected; she didn't want to bring up what just happened; she knew all too well people would rather just move on from the attention.
Clarke and Octavia laughed at the pout that corrupted Lexa's face.
"I think she's great." The young blonde blurted it out; staring whole-heartedly at the older girl.
Lexa didn't think anything of it, as she wore a pride smile on her face. "Thank you Clarke, at least someone thinks so." She jokingly poked her tongue out at Anya.
Whereas Octavia eyes went wide at the confession and Anya didn't miss the look Clarke gave her younger sibling. Her mouth was slightly parted, before it closed; a small smirk tugged on the side of her lips.
"Clarke!" A voice called out.
"Mom." Clarke jumped up and ran into her mom's arms. "I don't want to go hospital; I just want to go home. I feel fine now."
"Okay sweetie, calm down." Abby held her daughter close; she skilfully measured her daughter's heart rate without her noticing, before she looked over to the other girls. "Thank you so much for looking after her."
"It was Lexa, Mama G. She was amazing" Octavia praised.
"I just did what anyone else would do." Lexa insisted
"Oh please everyone was just crowding her, until you swooped in and saved the day." Anya added. A smile played on her lips; knowing Lexa was uncomfortable with all the attention she was getting.
"I'm just glad you're okay Clarke." The brunette directed her sweet smile at her, making the young girl blush.
"I really don't know how to thank you for this, but I guess I can start with this. You can have the day off today. I'm going to stay home with Clarke tonight. So I'll see you tomorrow, the usual time." Abby informed; she swallowed thickly when she saw the hurt in her daughter's eyes.
Clarke opened her mouth to protest that she's fine, but Lexa spoke before.
"If you're sure Mrs Griffin, I don't mind if you wanted me to come over." Lexa replied hesitantly.
"It's Abby, and I'm sure. I wouldn't feel right leaving Clarke right now."
"Looks like you're stuck with me." Lexa goofily grinned at Anya, who just nudged her dorky sister away. The older blonde glanced at Clarke; she noticed the sad expression that washed over her face.
"Come on girls let's get you home." Abby called out. Clarke and Octavia started to walk, but the young blonde stopped to turn around to look at Lexa one time, a sad smile attempted to tug at her lips.
"Clarke" Lexa called out. "Don't forget this." The brunette was holding an Emori's shopping bag.
"Thanks" the blonde said sweetly; her fingers brushed over Lexa's. Clarke felt her heart racing, but she noticed how the older girl's face was unfazed.
"I'll see you soon, Clarke." Lexa smiled at the door, before walking off with Anya.
The blonde just thought it wasn't soon enough, she hated that she's ruined her time with Lexa. It put her in a self-loathing mood.
xx
Since Clarke got home, she hadn't left her room. The events of earlier playing on her mind, the thoughts coming too much she threw herself onto the bed, screaming into her pillow. She felt so embarrassed that everyone saw her in that condition, she started to become infuriated that she wasn't able to control her body during her attacks. The thought that really got under her skin was that she felt like a loser in front of Lexa. She really thought she was doing better and yet that was one of the worst attacks she has ever had.
"Clarke." Abby voice called out, with a gentle knock. "Are you okay?" the older woman heard her daughter's muffled scream. She opened the door.
"I'm fine mom." She replied; trying to believe her lie herself, but she wasn't; she felt defeated.
"Do you want to talk about it, sweetie?" Abby sat down on the bed.
Clarke shook her head; she couldn't open up to her mother. She didn't know why, but when her mouth would try to speak words to Abby; her chest would restrict stopping her before a single syllable was produced. The only person she was able to speak to was Lexa, and she wasn't here. So the blonde held onto the weight of her emotions and it was already taking a toll on her.
Clarke desperately seeks some type of comfort, so she flung her arms around her mother and held her tightly.
Abby rests her chin on top of Clarke's head. She closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. It hurt to see her daughter in such anguish.
"Okay we don't have to talk about it, how about a movie and chocolate ice cream?" She offered.
"Maybe some other time, I just want to be alone" Clarke's words were smothered in guilt, but she just needed the space. She didn't have the strength to put up a façade for her mother.
"Anything you want honey. Get some rest." She kissed her daughter's head before leaving her room.
Abby quickly made her way downstairs to retrieve her phone, she scrolled through her contacts, finally landing on the name she was searching for. She dialled it, waiting for it to connect.
"Hello, it's Abby." She swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry to be calling you, but I was wondering if you can come over. I don't know how else I can help her." Her voice started to tremble, her emotions taking over her speech. "She's in so much pain, and I think you're the only one than can help her."
Xx
Within five minutes there was a knock at the door. Abby opened the door before she could even greet the person, they spoke hastily.
"Abby where is she, is she okay?"
"Lexa, I'm sorry if I worried you with my phone call. Clarke is physically fine, she's just—"
"Battling her inner demons" The green eyed girl finished. She knew all too well what Clarke was going through. She stared towards the stairs, wanting to ease the young girl's pain.
Abby nods in confirmation. "Clarke seems to have a connection with you Lexa."
This grabbed the brunette's attention, a small frown formed between her brows; not really knowing what Mrs Griffin was trying to imply.
"Just be careful, she's in a fragile state and you seem to bring out the old Clarke. That might cause confusion within my daughter." The older woman said delicately; it was a touchy subject, but she had to make Lexa aware of the situation.
Lexa didn't know what to say, she shifted uncomfortably.
"Please don't hurt her." Abby asked more than a warning.
"I would never her Clarke, Mrs Griffin." Lexa tone was bit more sharp than she intended it to be.
"Forgive me Lexa, I don't doubt that, but sometimes it's inevitable in these cases. Just wanted you to be more aware of it, I'm not accusing you. I can never repay you for the way you've helped Clarke. I owe you so much Lexa." Abby hugged the younger girl, who remained a bit rigid, not understanding what was happening.
The older woman started to retreat to the living room, leaving a very confused brunette standing in the hallway.
"Oh. If I know my daughter, she will have her headphones on. She won't hear you knocking."
Lexa offered a small tug at her lips with a nod, before making her way upstairs.
x
I'm so sorry readers; I know I said one more chapter then the jump. But after nearly losing over 4000 words of writing when my laptop wouldn't start up, I decided to post it now and spilt the chapter into two parts. Hopefully part 2 doesn't take too long, I've already wrote quite a lot. This will include, Lexa finally opening up about her past to Clarke and a quick jump to her 18th birthday party.