Thank you all for your interest! I'm honestly not sure what this is other than my own filling in the blanks kind of thing. I also don't know why I still can't get over their love story. It holds me captive still... And I love having you guys to "discuss" it with. :)
...
In the before, she'd once felt his pain. She'd been the anchor and he'd touched her to pass on through to the Other Side.
It had been a layered pain. Severe.
But then, all the pain she'd felt back then had been like that. She'd suffered as much as the supernatural beings had when they had died. It had felt like she was dying. Over and over and over again.
She wasn't really sure why, but among all the others, he had still stuck out somehow.
She'd also saved him later, when everything had come crashing down.
Why? She didn't know.
He'd left an impression. A mark, almost.
His fierceness. His anger. His denial.
…
She hated how everything was always about the others.
She hated that she always cared more about the others. That something always forced her to look out for them and make sacrifices, and then, later, she'd be left, alone, lonely, and regretting some of the consequences of her doing.
People had died because of it. She had died…
Bonnie sniffed. It had been a shitty day. Scratch that. It had been a shitty couple of months.
After the last time she'd seen Enzo, she had thought they'd had shared a moment. She'd felt closer to him than ever before. Like he was a real friend, a kindred soul.
They'd fallen asleep sitting on the couch together, dawn already approaching. She'd felt her head grow heavier and heavier, and she hadn't been able to pick herself up off the couch anymore to go to bed. She'd just fallen asleep right there, her head resting against his shoulder.
When she'd woken up, she'd lain on the couch, a blanket draped carefully around her, her head resting on a pillow, and he had been busy working on the windows. She'd walked out to where he was working, a hot cup of coffee warming her hands, a thick scarf around her neck, and a puffy jacket to top it all off, while he'd just worked with his thin leather jacket on, exuding a strange heat, even though his breath was a cloud of condensation.
"Your hands alright?" She'd asked, and he'd smiled at her, nodding.
"Good enough to get some better insulation installed," he'd told her, and she'd made an appreciative sound.
They'd had breakfast together after. It had been such a nice morning.
And then he'd casually informed her that he wouldn't be able to come back for a while. Admittedly, he'd looked rather upset about it all, though he'd assured her the pantry was stocked up, the freezer too, and he'd gotten her her favorite shampoo and conditioner and the small interdental brushes she'd raved about in the past (and when had he had time to do all that anyways?).
But he'd have to leave her alone.
...
She knew she shouldn't overuse her phone so as not to endanger her - few remaining… - friends, and she couldn't just go see them for the same reasons. While she knew she was free to go anywhere, she really wasn't. She was trapped by circumstances bigger than herself and she hated it. She also hated it that he was her only contact to the outside world.
And she loathed it that she was so broken up about his departure.
He was Enzo St. John! They had never had anything much of a relationship before. They'd hated each other, he'd used her, he'd never cared about her.
Until he had.
She shook her head.
She'd be alone for the next weeks. Lots of time to ask herself how she really felt about him.
Why he got under her skin so much…
…
He messaged her. After the first two weeks of no contact, he messaged her.
Tried out the hand lotion? It's Clementine… he'd written as his first message and she rolled her eyes at the triviality. He'd been gone for two weeks and that was what he chose to ask her about?
Yet she found herself walking to the bathroom, eying the still unopened tube, and then sheepishly dabbing her hand with a small glob of the lotion inside. She loved the scent, it actually smelled natural, nothing overpowering or chemical. Just sweet clementine with a dash of fresh tartness. It was probably sheer luck that he'd found something she actually liked, but she was secretly impressed.
Still, she wrote, I sit abandoned in a freaking cabin! But yeah, the lotion smells nice.
She trusted he'd be able to decipher the right amount of upset snark she'd felt at writing it.
She did not expect him to call just seconds after she'd sent it out.
"Are you upset, love? It's getting to you, isn't it?"
It sounded like he was on the road somewhere, in a too loud car. She rolled her eyes. Men and their toys… But she also heard something like actual concern in his voice.
"The loneliness," he continued, when she wasn't forthcoming with any reply.
She opened and closed her mouth. She was really not prepared for an actual conversation. Today was one of those days where everything just came crashing down on her, and having no friends around to distract her or lend an ear made it all the harder.
"I'm just… yeah," she finally admitted, "I'm lonely, and cranky, and no shitty guitar playing or reading more stuff about the stupid Armory makes it any better."
"I'm sorry, love." She envisioned him grimacing at her words. Technically, the Armory was his family business, but she knew his loyalties didn't lie with them.
"Yeah, I know. It's… today just sucks. Somehow I just always end up alone, making stupid sacrifices for other people and then I get left behind. I mean, where's the armada of helpful friends to take down the Armory or at least help me figure out what they want and keep me company in the meantime? I… I'm sorry, I know you do your best," she allowed, because she suddenly pictured his mouth as a thin line, a sensual line… (what the hell, Bonnie Bennett?) And she didn't want to sound ungrateful.
"I just wish that now that it's about me for once, that there was someone there to fight this fight with me. You know, when the Other Side broke down, I fought. When Elena needed me, I fought. I fought to keep Damon alive, stupid Damon! When I was trapped in my own forever-hell with Kai. And now the idiot lies desiccated in a coffin, and Elena is comatose till I die, Caroline… well, she has other loyalties now, too. Which also takes Alaric out. Matt or Tyler, or even Stefan… they all don't seem to care. They're all too busy with their lives. And let's not even mention any of my family. They're all either dead or they abandoned me. Like my mom," she bit her lip. She'd never completely get over that. She couldn't allow herself to linger on that thought. "And Jeremy, well he's… just somehow vanished out of my life. Looks like nobody really cares enough to stick around. And if they do, they get torn away from me."
She knew she sounded bitter. She also realized she'd held a friggin' monolog. Why had Enzo not interrupted her, saved her from rambling on like that?
She suddenly heard him breathe in a sharp breath on the other end followed by the sound of a distant car honking.
Had he zoned out because she'd bored him and thus almost driven into the other lane or something? She was ready to be angry at him, at the very least annoyed, but suddenly he said,
"I know you deserve so much more, Bonnie, than just one person in your corner, but it's all I can give you," he paused, and she was oddly anxious for him to go on. To hear someone say something nice and selfless about her, it was almost too much. She felt tears well in her eyes and she was glad he couldn't see it, in case he was just somehow leading her on. But he wasn't, right?
"You got me, love. Fighting your fight. I know I'm probably your least favorite person to do so, but I'm here. And no matter what, I want you to know that I did not abandon you in that cabin. Because I know what being abandoned feels like. I know it all too well. And I don't want you to ever have to feel like that again. You deserve so much better, and I'm so sorry that this is the best I can give you right now."
He sounded so sincere, so passionate, so upset that Bonnie knew, if he'd been with her rather than on the other end of a phone connection, she'd have kissed him right about now. Because there were no good words to show him just how grateful she was and how deeply she was touched by his strange commitment.
Instead, she had to force herself to come up with something to say. Anything.
"Thank you," she muttered, and the words felt so horribly flat that she cringed a little. "I'm… honestly, I'm a little lost for words," she laughed a shy laughter, trying to veil her awkwardness. But he didn't even seem to notice.
"I will come back as soon as I can," he told her, his voice so very serious. She waited for his words, waited. She wanted to hear him say it one more time, the endearment. A joke at first; his stupid superficial flirting. But she wanted to hear it now. She needed to hear it.
She heard him laugh, suddenly, unexpectedly. Not a happy laugh. "We are kindred spirits, Bonnie Bennett. Who'd have thought…" he said, and she understood what he meant. Family issues, abandonment issues, friend issues. And no strangers to pain. Heaps of it...
"It appears we have a few things in common," she conceded, smiling a first small smile again. She let her hair fall down as she dipped her head a little, she was unaware of it, but it was what she always did when she was flirting on the phone.
"Aw, did I just hear you admit-"
"Don't ruin the moment, Enzo!" She warned him, but she was chuckling.
It was strangely quiet on the other end, the droning of the road the only thing she heard for a moment and she got worried that she had ruined the moment already. But then she heard his voice again. Handsome, raspy, and that accent…
"I will always come back for you, love."
He'd said it...
Bonnie smiled.
…