Servant of the Sword

Rin thought that he'd misheard what the scarlet-clad woman said, so straightened up and asked again,

"Excuse me, but… What did you say?"

The woman smirked and crossed her arms beneath her chest, "I asked you if you had the bundle of neurons we call a "Brain" in your cranial cavity."

"Oh, sorry. I didn't realize that I look like a person in a vegetative state." Rin said dryly, "But I assure you that I have a grey matter rich and quite extraordinary brain in my head."

"Is that so?" Saber replied in a voice that made Rin feel as though she was making fun of him.

"So, are you my master?" She asked.

"Do you see anyone else in the room?" Rin asked, his voice still dry as the Sahara Desert.

"That doesn't prove anything." She said, closing her eyes, "We Servants aren't baby ducks who think the first person we see is our master."

"But you materialized in front of me!" Rin said, aghast, "I'm in the magic circle! There isn't anyone else who could possibly be your master!"

The Servant sighed in an exaggerated way which made Rin's temper flare. But he checked his temper, saying to himself, "Remember, Rin. You're a gentleman and nihon-danshi. Respect women. Always Elegant. Always Polite. Strength belies in meekness…" he repeated every such saying he could remember in his head.

"Let me rephrase the question." Saber said, "Are you deserving to be my master? What qualifies you to be my master?"

Rin suddenly understood and a smile came to his face as he showed the unimpressed Servant the back of his hand where the scarlet Command Seals were etched.

"Here! These are the command spells granted to me by the Grail." He said victoriously.

"Oh, you do have the command spells." Saber said in a bored voice, "And you believe it's the qualification to be my master?"

Rin nodded confidently, only to be answered with his Servant putting a hand on her cheek exasperatedly. "I was right to ask you about the state of your brain. It looks like it's obviously rotten if you actually believe what you just said."

Rin gritted his teeth as he told himself in his head, "Gentleman. Nihon-danshi. Respect. Elegance. Politeness. Meekness…"

He took a deep breath and replied coldly, "The rules of the War state that there are two criteria of becoming a Master: summoning a Servant and earning his or her allegiance through the command seals. I summoned you, and I have the command seals as a means to bind you to my will. What else is there?"

Saber rolled her eyes at him, and Rin became more and more infuriated, "Gentleman. Nihon-danshi. Bitch. Elegance. Politeness. Meekness…"

"Oh, I guess I'll accept you." She said in a voice that suggested that she was doing so out of pity,

"Gentleman. Nihon-danshi. Bitch. Elegance. Bitch. Meekness…"

"So, Master, why don't you do yourself a favor and stay here for the rest of the War while I go out and win it for you?"

"Bitch. Nihon-danshi. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Meekness."

"I doubt you'd be of any help, and I prefer to fight without extra baggage weighing me down."

"…Bitch."

"Gandr!" He cried pointing his index finger at the empty wall beside them, still glaring at his Servant.

The room, which was quiet enough for the ticks of the living room clock to be heard, was filled with loud blasts like gunshots.

In a blatant and shameless show of power, he pelted shot after shot of tennis-ball shaped spheres of curses which left craters in the stone wall while his Servant looked at him with a dumbstruck look on her face.

The blasts became quicker and more intense as Rin poured all his frustrations into the innocent wall, and with a last "Bang!" which nearly deafened one of his ears he fired a basketball sized shot right in the middle, making most of the wall come crumbling down.

There was a minute of silence as Rin composed himself and looked at the Servant coolly.

The Servant looked at him with something close to wonder before dissolving into chuckles.

"I seem to have a troublesome Master on my hands." He said, and Rin was almost pleased that the word "Master" wasn't said in a sarcastic drawl anymore.

"Only because my Servant is so twisted." He replied tiredly as he felt a slow throbbing inside his head.

"Well, I had to see whether my Master was up to par." Saber replied with a rather childish kind of sincerity, "I wouldn't want to see my Master die during the war."

"I guess she's not that bad a person after all." Rin thought to himself.

"So, Master, what are we going to-"

"Saber, clean this mess up." He said curtly and left for his bedroom.

Saber stood, too shocked to reply.

"Oi, why do I have to clean this up!? I'm not that kind of Servant!" She yelled after Rin, who was already at the door leading to the living room.

"Because I'm tired and you made me destroy that wall." He said simply, and closed the door behind him leaving a flabbergasted Saber behind him.

But before he could even go five feet, the door behind him opened and he was being lifted off his feet by the back of his neck.

"Tohsaka-san," Saber said in a dangerously honeyed voice, "please handle the cleaning tomorrow morning after getting your much deserved rest, kay?"

"Okay, okay, fine! Just let me down!" Rin said boredly, hanging limply by the collar.

"Good boy." Saber said cheerfully before dropping Rin and dematerializing.

Rin continued up to his bedroom while grumbling under his breath, too tired to argue any farther.

He plopped into the bed without changing into his pajamas and pulled the covers over his head after turning the lights off.

A/N:

A bit of shameless advertisement: Stay tuned for "Fate/Butterfly Effect", another fic of mine in the works. It's placed in an alternate universe where Rin was given away for adoption instead of Sakura.