Ethan didn't have a curious-case in hell about what he was doing. What in the world would make him try and touch April? He knew better; he'd been taught in his ethics class as well as in medical school and in his internships that you always ask permission before touching a patient, or at least give them a heads up if it was a procedure that had to be rushed. But there was no rush nor a procedure. Or was there? He hadn't even realized how much he missed seeing April until she wasn't around and then when she was back he wanted to hear what was going on in her life. Ethan had to admit it to himself; he had a crush.

He also had to admit that he had no clue in hell how to navigate a crush. Ethan wasn't exactly ugly or creepy. He had never pined over anyone in his life. In fact, it was the opposite.

His first kiss was a little girl in his neighborhood named Krissy. A drive-by confession of love if you will. She ran up and kissed him on the cheek before running away. Girls were gross and weird after that. Until one day they weren't. Seven minutes in heaven had changed that with Mira Grey. Her braces bumped up against his teeth as they awkwardly found their stride in that basement closet. Highschool was on the base with the colonels' daughter and all the bases were covered with her. They didn't think they would see each other again so during the Naval Ball they snuck back to his house.

By chance they would both follow in their father's footsteps and continue sneaking around until Ethan left for his residency.

In between there were flirtations, unsolicited flashes of concealed body parts by all too eager girls and some very grown women, a few one-night stands in college when he found the time between his rigorous studies and the absolute need for sleep. All in all, Ethan knew what it meant to be desired and to be crushed on and any girl that he was interested in was available and reciprocated his feelings.

But April had a boyfriend, not just a boyfriend a fiancé and a baby on the way. Every aspect of the situation was new territory and Ethan was not used to new territory. Which was probably how he found himself doing crazy things like touching her when he shouldn't be.

Work was a great distraction and she had been assisting Natalie most of the night. He didn't know what her case was but later in the evening he would find out.

…

When the creak of the door opened against the howl of the Chicago air April glanced back and over her shoulder; there was Ethan. Ever since running into him at the store that day he was always around or at least it felt like it. With a reassuring smile or walking her to her car at night. But April was keeping everything close to the vest. She was glad to have the company most days. But she always felt stupid for how she was always worried about something. That was the trouble with doctors or men. They worshipped too much at the church of logic; they forgot about the church of emotion. It was a lesser or false god to them so anything of it was preposterous or dramatic. Her face must've been giving this away when Ethan asked;

"What happened with your case?"

"The lack of chemo was actually helping the boy's body heal…he's going to survive," she answered; her voice laced with bittersweetness.

Her eyes were back on the city.

"Um, that sounds like a great outcome," he said.

"It is," April answered succinctly.

"Then why do you look like someone who had to watch a puppy get hit by a train?" he said with a smile.

April looked over with a half-smile. It was genuine but it didn't erase her mood.

"I just feel really horrible…I pressured Natalie to call the police for neglect. I was willing to take that boy away from his father…the only person he had left because of what I thought was right," April lamented.

"Well on paper it's protocol, you're not a monster April."

"I just…I haven't spoken to Tate in a week because of a decision I felt was right for me and I was so quick to take that away from someone else….nothing is that black and white and for moment I almost forgot that," April confessed.

She smoothed her hand over the barely swollen bump as she continued to stare over the city.

"How is that going? Have you found out anything else?" Ethan implored.

It was an odd; a strange tension inside him. On one end, all of this meant that there was a chance that she and Tate wouldn't get back together and if something was wrong with the baby then that would mean no baby and April could potentially be free. The idea sickened him how selfish he could be for even entertaining it. But he found himself doing it more than he cared to admit.

"No April you're not a monster…I am!" He thought to himself.

April shook her head no. She started to walk away when a wave of dizziness hit her. Ethan tilted his head a little confused before speeding over and placing his hand at her back.

"Are you okay?" he asked anxiously.

"Whew, yeah it's just time to eat is all," April said with a smile.

She was embarrassed again. A grown woman who seem more like a southern belle with the vapors around Ethan. It was time to get more groceries. The last of the pineapple and everything she bought at Mariano's were running thin.

"I think I'm going to finish off that pineapple though," she said still smiling.

Ethan still had his hand at her back as he walked her down and then towards the elevator.

"Oh yeah? Still eating up my genius huh?" Ethan said with a smirk.

"Ha! Right, it just happens to be something I can eat that doesn't taste like garbage," April admitted.

Ethan laughed as he continued to walk her out to her car. He opened the door as she got in. The car sped away and he stood in the parking lot until it did.

"Whoop-chhk."

A voice came up behind him and Ethan turned around. It was Jeff. Ethan scrunched up his face in the same confused look he'd given Jeff multiple times.

"Take it from someone who pined over a woman who was not available in every sense….it doesn't end well."

Ethan rolled his eyes and the two walked to Molly's. It was a habit they'd been doing for weeks. Sometimes Jeff would toy with Ethan's crush. Every time a woman passed and stared at the chiseled jaw line, shapely shoulders, or dimples on the handsome duo Jeff would start the questions.

"How bout her?"

And every time there was always some excuse.

"Too short."

"Too awkward."

"Annoying laugh."

It was always something. At this point it was just a game to Jeff that elicited deep laughter from him.

"Have you ever seen the movie Boomerang?"

Ethan shook his head.

"Well," Jeff started, "Eddie Murphy's character is the classic player. There's a scene where he sees this beautiful woman walking through the park with her dog, he offers some random guy like a hundred bucks for a dog leash…he starts screaming his fake dog's name; pretending he's lost."

Ethan laughed and brought his beer to his lips.

"Anyway, his little con works and he has sex with her, but then while she sleeps he pulls up the blanket and he stares at her feet and it's a deal-breaker," Jeff laughed.

"He sounds like a jerk," Ethan said with a smile.

"He sounds like you!" Jeff laughed.

"What? I am not that shallow," Ethan jabbed back with a smile.

"No one is good enough for you since Vicky, well... there's one isn't there?" Jeff said.

"And this is when I leave," Ethan said gulping down his beer.

He stood up and wrapped his jacket around his stern torso.

"Okay Ethan," Jeff said with a smirk, "Remember…it won't end well!" he laughed.

Ethan shook his head and walked home.

…

Get in, eat a quick snack, pin up her hair, brush her teeth, pass out. Rinse. Repeat. It had become the ritual for the past week. It was easier than crying herself to bed and lately she had been doing a lot of that too. She was for sure it was partly hormones.

During her TB leave she'd focused on the remodel of the den but being away from Tate's and thinking about her design board was enough to make her remember that she wasn't there. Home wasn't home anymore. Nothing was what it was supposed be and she was back to worrying again.

When the light began to trickle into her window in the morning she woke up like a stomach a constant reminder of single life. She went to the fridge.

One serving of yogurt. One single serving of Rocky Road ice cream. A single four-carton of eggs. Two Ensure, and the last of her pineapple, chopped and sealed in a plastic container.

"Pathetic," April said shaking her head as she grabbed the last of her pineapple and the single serving of yogurt.

She'd have to make another trip to the store. Walking around Mariano's was yet another reminder that she was going to have to get at least another week's worth of groceries. Another full week of being semi-broken up with Tate. She stood again in front of the stores' wares trying to decide.

"Does a single serving mean I'm single? Does multiple mean I'm never going back to Tate's?"

She was dazed out at Limoncello or Pistachio.

"Okay, I'm not sure I can give you any tips on this, even vanilla is the right choice because ice cream, gelato, frozen yogurt, custard you really can't go wrong," he teased.

"Dr. Ch-…I mean Ethan, hi," April said sheepishly.

He must've thought that she was a total air-head or on drugs; always zoning out at the easiest tasks.

"I actually have it down to two choices. I just don't know what size, the small or the large," she said with pursed lips tilting her head.

"I don't think the large one is a problem at all…it's not like you have to watch your weight. You're gorgeous," he remarked half-dazed.

April turned and blushed a little.

"I mean-um-to say you know that glow...thing…that you know pregnant women, you…um, yeah." He said turning beet red.

"Plus isn't this the time when you get to eat for two?" He asked saving himself from anymore embarrassment.

April smiled at his clumsy wording; it was kind, like he'd always been.

"I'm not worried about that, it's just the more I buy the more I feel like I'm not going back to Tate's," April remarked staring back at the freezer doors.

The universe heard his name and the buzz from April's pocket signaled his return. April looked at the phone. Missed call 9:30 am; Tate Jenkins. Ethan opened the door quickly and grabbed the pistachio ice cream carton. The large. April tilted her head again.

"Okay…but you have to help me eat it," she said with a smile.

The beet red began to warm his cheeks again.

"Oh...no this is mine!" Ethan teased.

April's mouth dropped as Ethan laughed.

"But if you're still feeling down, I have a great comfort recipe for that…I could make it for you," Ethan said looking from the corner of his eye.

"Alright, my place; 6:30, cause I'm sure I have the better kitchen!" April said twirling away.

…

Ethan went home and took a shower. He was standing in front of his drawer trying to decide what to wear. A jacket? A t-shirt? He had no idea. He was once again in unfamiliar territory and this crush was crushing everything. Earlier it was his ability to talk and now his reasoning skills. He grabbed a t-shirt and scolded himself for being so choosy about something so simple. He collected the ingredients he would need and walked over to April's. Ever since she'd return to her apartment he realized how close they lived to one another. He must've come to the neighborhood after she moved in with Tate.

April was just finishing vacuuming the floor when Ethan arrived. Her home was still clean considering she hadn't been there; so, straightening up was a breeze. When she opened the door, and smiled the burn returned to Ethan's cheeks.

Her curls haloed around her head to accentuate her high cheekbones and large doe eyes enlarged and slanted by the copious amounts of mascara. He had never seen her like this.

"Hey Dr. Ch-, I mean Ethan. Please come on in."

April was sick of being the damsel. The last time he was here she was sitting, crying her face off over some made up problems that had caused real problems in her relationship. She wanted him to see the normal woman who had interests, who was studious, and resilient.

"You look glowy-um nice, you look nice," Ethan said stumbling again.

The dreaded infatuation was crushing his verbal skills again.

"Get it together Ethan."

"So…where can I set up in this kitchen that's supposedly so much nicer than mine," he said with a smirk.

"Honestly," April started as she walked him into the room, "I was worried I'd pass out at your house if I ate there," she admitted with a laugh.

"I wouldn't mind if you slept with me-or there-or…um it wouldn't be an issue…," he said trailing off into embarrassment.

"What?" April asked confused as she set one of his bags at the counter.

"Nothing," he shrugged.

She nodded; looking to him oddly. She showed him where her cooking utensils, pots, pans, and cutting boards were as she sat at her table with a glass of juice. Wine would've been nice but the little life inside her was not one to gamble with. Ethan worked in the kitchen, focused and determined to make sure everything was chopped and seasoned properly.

April was a little bored as Ethan was in the zone so she walked over to her T.V. and turned on some music. She was popping through the music channels. She turned on Thalia "Mujer Latina." She began swaying her hips and walked over to the kitchen.

"So, what are you making?" April asked as she swayed her way to the stove.

Ethan stepped away from the cook top to reveal the mounds of chopped food and the broth he had turned up to boil.

"Tteokguk," he said succinctly.

"Huh?"

"It's a Korean New Year dish,"

"Is it the Korean New Year?" April asked.

"Uh-no but it's supposed to bring good luck," he said.

"I could use that…Tate tried that with a tuna sandwich before my appointment...not so lucky," April said blowing out some air.

Ethan felt awkward listening to Tate's name and the fact that he was doing the same thing.

"Better question…what are we listening to?" Ethan asked with a smile.

"Usted no conozco Thalia, Ethan?" April said with a half-smile.

He smiled back, "Ani, naegahaji anhneunda, April." He said with his eyebrow raised.

April laughed, she'd never heard him speak Korean before.

"I think that was a…yes!" she said grabbing his hand and putting it on her waist.

"What are we doing?" Ethan asked as he was stumbling over his feet.

"Samba!" April answered as she swayed her hips and moved closer to him.

Ethan would've blushed but he trying to contain every emotion at touching her.

"Like this, one-two-, yeah you got it…sort of, "April laughed.

Ethan was so nervous. Crush 3, Ethan 0. He tried not to get too riled and the only way he wouldn't was to focus on her smile and the amount of joy she was in. She let go and kept up with the beat on her own. He watched her twirl and wind her hips and mouth the words to her song.

She danced her way back over to him and put his hand back at her waist. The song switched and a woman with a cool voice that slithered to the ear like butter came on. It was "Corcovado" by Astrud Gilberto.

"Oh man…I love this song," April said wistfully.

She giggled nervously as her eyes drifted to the same place they did when they were over the city. April slowed down and rested her head on his shoulder.

Quiet nights and quiet stars

Quiet chords from my guitar

Floating on the silence that surrounds us

Quiet nights and quiet dreams

Quiet walks by quiet streams

And the window lookin' on the mountains and the sea how lovely

This is where to be

Here with you so close to me

Till the final flicker of life's ember

I who was lost and lonely

Believing life was a only a bitter tragic joke

Have found with you the meaning of existence oh, my love.

"It's going to be okay...right?" she asked.

She didn't expect an answer she just needed to say it.

"Yeah…yeah it is," Ethan said slowly look over and down to her.

She stared into his eyes searching them for hope and he gazed into hers; hoping for anything to not make him want to kiss her.

"Your broth is boiling," April announced quietly.

He dropped her his hand from her waist and walked back into the kitchen. I t allowed him to collect himself and talk his body down. He finished the rest of the prep and set the food down on the table.

"This is delicious!" April said as she slurped her second bite.

Ethan smiled; happy that he had managed to execute something flawlessly for her.

"I do alright, but my grandmother's is the best," he said.

They finished dinner and April started the dishes. Ethan insisted on helping because dinner was his idea. Afterward she walked him to the door.

"Thanks…again…God I always feel like I'm thanking you for something lately," April confessed with shameful smile.

"Don't, it was my pleasure," he said.

"Well then we'll have to do it again…but let me cook this time!" she said.

"Um yeah that sounds cool, tomorrow?" he asked hoping his thirst wasn't showing.

"Yeah, but I was serious about the nap so…I'll do lunch," she said with a laugh.

"Fair enough," he said.

"Alright, well good night Dr. Ch- Ethan…good night Ethan," April said.

"Good night April."

April pinned up her hair, put on her pajamas, and true to her condition she was out like a light.