"So…do I have something to be worried about here?" Tate asked with a little humor in his voice.
April rolled her eyes as she picked up the remote and shut the television off.
"Ethan's been keeping me company, helping me not think too much about everything," she admitted.
She sat down on the couch and Tate joined her.
"I wish I had someone to do that with because you're all I think about," Tate said soberly.
"I miss you April, we miss you…Eric asks about you all the time and I don't know what to say," he languished.
April's heart broke at the thought. She truly cared for Eric and when she fled she forgot about the impact it had on him as well.
"I'm sorry…it's just nothing has changed. I still want this baby," she lamented.
"So do I. I really hope you don't think that's not what I want," he said emulating her sentiment.
He moved closer to her and put the board down on the coffee table.
"Baby, no baby, handicapped baby, it doesn't matter," he started as he used his hand to lift her chin to face him, "There is no home without you in it…you are my home April Sexton," he said.
He pulled her chin in and they kissed. April allowed herself to fall into him, into the moment as the kiss deepened. They stood up; still in embrace and walked to her bedroom.
…
Jeff had been right all along. What had Ethan even been entertaining? To think too deeply upon the question made his skin crawl and he wanted to push those selfish thoughts away. It was more than realistic to be happy for her and still care for her. There was nothing wrong with friendship; if he could figure out a way to curtail his crush on was the train of thought as he sat in the cafeteria eating his veggie burrito; until Jeff joined him.
"Hmm… you thinking about her?" Jeff asked.
"April? No, we're just friends," Ethan quickly answered.
"I was talking about that nurse…but…okay," Jeff laughed.
Ethan shook his head and laughed.
"No…no redheads," he said with a smile.
"None?…well how about her?" he asked pointing to a blonde radiologist.
"Gentlemen…this game sounds entirely sexist," Robin announced behind them.
"What game?" Connor asked as he trailed her; tray in hand.
"The rating of women," Robin answered; her eyebrow raised in judgement.
Jeff and Ethan laughed as Ethan shook his head.
"It's not what it seems," Jeff said.
"Enlighten me," Robin stated as she sat down.
Connor let out a small sigh and sat down next to her. He knew his girl and she was not one for letting men get away with this type of behavior. But he knew Ethan and he was for sure it wasn't what it seemed.
"I like to tease Dr. Choi here about the perfect woman…you know the one doesn't exist," Jeff said laughing.
"I didn't say one did," Ethan quipped back.
"That's right because we are measuring her against his perfect woman," Jeff stated.
"April," Connor and Robin said in unison.
Jeff let out a barrel laugh. And Ethan closed his eyes tightly as shades of pink, rose, and ambrosia bloomed in his face.
"I mean…it's pretty obvious," Robin started, "I think that the only people more obvious are Will and Natalie," she finished with a laugh; until she caught Jeff's face.
"Oh…I'm sorry… I didn't...," she said.
Jeff smiled and shook his head trying to let her know that the comment hadn't bothered him but the humor sat like a mask upon his face.
"So anyway, I started to make it into a joke and I think Ethan did too because there isn't anything wrong with those women," he said wrapping it up.
Connor and Robin nodded.
…
April and Tate were at her second appointment to get the measurement of the baby. Her anxiety was through the roof. The last time they were here it split them for weeks. Tate had promised to be there for her but the guilt was back. Will had joined them this time. He had been asked to by Dr. Lee who had been trying to ease the couple's minds about the TB meds. She took the measurement.
"We are completely on track, the head, and weight are measuring in the normal range and everything looks fine," she said confidently.
"There is no reason to believe the TB medication is interfering with the fetus," Will stated just as confident.
April looked to Tate and beamed; he smiled as the weight of world dissipated from his shoulders.
"See," April said smiling.
He lifted her hand and kissed it. The appointment finished and April and Tate walked downstairs so April could resume her shift.
"Everything go alright?" Ethan asked coming up from behind them.
He was trying his hand at the platonic friend. The one that didn't daydream about her smile, her laugh, her face-
"Yeah, it's all good," Tate said with a smile.
He bent down and kissed April and walked out.
"See don't jump the gun!" Ethan said with a smile.
He was trying too hard. Watching Tate kiss her was like watching him make-out with his own grandmother. It kind of sickened him and he hated it. Hated the thoughts associated with it.
"Maybe if she wasn't with Tate. Maybe if she wasn't pregnant."
He tried to shut them down and finish his shift in peace. To enjoy April's newfound sense of security and impending shift was somewhat slow. Ethan had to stay into the night but April got off and Tate was outside to meet her.
"I want to take you home…can I do that?" he asked with a half-smirk.
April nodded and they went back to the sprawling mansion and crawled into bed. April missed his large bed, exceedingly high thread-count Egyptian Cotton sheets, and silk pillows. She was just starting to enjoy it when her phone buzzed and an urgent text came in from the hospital for her to return to work. She looked over and Tate wasn't next to her. She flipped her lamp on and found a fresh pair of scrubs.
"Hey, hey, hey," he started, "Where are you going?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her small frame.
"I got to go back into the hospital," she said with a longing smile.
"But you already worked a full day," he remarked.
"It happens, they need me…I'm used to it," she said giving him a quick peck.
He plopped on the bed defeated and frustrated and she bent down to grab her pants.
"Do you think it's wise…you know the baby?" He practically hissed in frustration.
"I told you…pregnant women work all the time-," she started.
"-Even those with TB?" he quipped back but he grabbed her wrist.
"The doctors said my TB medicine wasn't interfering…I thought after the appointment today you got that," she said.
"I just worry alright, I made more than enough money. You don't need to work."
"Well stop. I'm good. The baby is good. I work. It's who I am," she said before pulling her arm away and huffing off.
April could feel the tears welling in her eyes as she made her way down the stairs. Her eyes burned on the drive over but she sucked it up before leaving. At least the anguish. The anger hadn't stopped.
"I'm going to work if I want to work," she grumbled, "I'll never stop," she said to Maggie as she headed to a patient's room.
Maggie shook her head as Ethan walked up next to her.
"April's back?" he asked.
"Yeah, and bringing some Tate drama with her," Maggie practically mumbled as she walked away.
After she stabilized the patient she and Will were working on she came out to order a set of labs.
"Back again huh?" Ethan asked.
April looked over and nodded with a smile. She finished typing and brought her hand up to massage her wrists. The doctor eyes on Ethan immediately darted to the action.
"Did you hurt yourself?" he asked; not remembering any incidents on her shift earlier.
"Oh…," April remarked.
She was embarrassed. She hadn't realized Tate had grabbed her wrist hard enough to bruise it. She darted her vision away from Ethan who was putting together another story in his head. His mouth twisted in disgust and he finally shattered the silence.
"Did he do that?"
"It wasn't like that…I know that's what those kinds of women always say but-honestly, Ethan it wasn't like that," April said still baffled by the marks.
"Sexton I need you!" Will shouted.
April nodded and took off and away from the conversation. Ethan stood there simmering with anger. He couldn't understand it. First this guy put pressure on her to have an abortion and now he was leaving bruises on her. An issue of control was more than evident to Ethan and he was over watching it; hearing about it.
The shift ended rather peacefully; if one could count the reprimand of a drunken resident and three teenagers whose lives had been irreparably damaged by drugs. The sun came up on Gaffney and another shift was down. But outside stood Tate with a bundle of roses and a bigger bundle of apologies.
"I'm sorry," he said as she took the flowers.
She put the bundle to her chest and the act made his eyes look at her wrist.
"Oh god…did I do that?" he exclaimed in horror.
"I know you didn't do it on purpose," she said.
"Oh babe…I am so sorry…. Let me make this up to you, let's get away," he begged.
April nodded and then her eyes went wide.
"I forgot my phone! I'll be right back," she stated as she flew back into the hospital.
She hadn't noticed Ethan watching her as she walked inside and then got caught up talking to Doris. It gave him a chance to slip outside and confront Tate. He didn't hold up back; didn't even mess with pleasantries he just came out with it.
"Why did April have those bruises on her wrist?" he asked sternly
"Excuse me?" Tate answered caught off guard.
"I think you heard me."
Ethan was easily a foot shorter than Tate but he stared him in the eyes unafraid. Situations like these allowed for the confidence Ethan had, to easily be projected. He may not have always been able to get his act together around April but being a coward or a pushover was not who he was in the face of danger or the invitation for courage.
"Unintentional, sometimes I don't know my own strength," Tate answered gave a stiff nod still unblinking.
"I care about what happens to her Tate," Ethan stated.
"We both do, in the same way, don't we?" Tate said; a soft accusation.
"You ready?" April announced strolling up.
"Yeah babe, we probably won't see very much of you this weekend since we're going out of town huh Ethan?" Tate stated.
Ethan gave a tight shrug still not blinking at Tate.
"Bye Ethan," April said trying to break up the growing tension.
Tate put his arms around April's shoulders.
"C'mon, I'll let you scramble me some eggs," she said with a giggle.
Tate leaned down and kissed the top of her head and they took off and were quickly out of sight. Ethan stood there as the realization finally sealed his fate; the crush he was underneath. She was not his girl and was never going to be his girl. A small flame of anger ignited in him and in that moment, he embraced it as it merged with his courage and his stoicism. This was where he would pull from for now on. It was all that was left for him from this crush, this unconsummated relationship, this love.