A-
"get up brat."
"no its still daylight and I have a head ache already, bugger off." Allen hissed at the red haired man who claimed to have raised him.
"I said get the fuck up. Your not a fucking vampire and that roles already been taken so get up and start talking you little shit."
"I KNOW I'm not a vampire shishou, I am however a Sand Cat which for the record are nocturnal and I've already had uncle Neah blow me up for being up during day light hour with out both glasses and sunglasses, I'm 20 thus you have not power over me you legally lost that and what ever was Left of both my collage fund and the money mana left me when I turned 18. Further more I have already discussed far more then I was willing both at the order and too my friends that includes my BOYFRIEND. Now piss off to what ever local pub or house of ill repute is in town and stay their until nightfall, that is unless Jhonny's has already gotten the said glasses ect. Just why are you even here anyway according to Koumi it was a divide and conquer attempt." Allen hissed
The clown crown shifting the blankets over his head forcing him to raise his voice in order to be heard mentally matching the clear memories of the Ark that Neah had dealt with where Reever and Koumi said they would use the Ark as the latest HQ and start getting everything set up. The fact that Kanda was using the chance to get dressed while dressing him as well although sweet was annoying it was something his cat instincts screamed for and one he was inclined to agree with the urge to just curl up on top of his beloved taking in the warm chest and solid heart beat and actually Fricken sleep that was like the second time since his release that He didn't have a nightmare gods how he wanted to return to that dreamless state even if it meant monopolising the man he loved.
He really was in no shape of any for to deal with Cross at the moment half because his innocence urged him to harm the older man for the abuse and lies that had both happened in the past and bound to reoccur not to mention the older man being the reason this whole mess on the Orders part had begun in the first place! And Half due to the strain his mind was going threw god only knew what would happen if cross brought a hooker here to his Late adopted fathers home, if the man Dared he knew the feeble fight against the torrent of agonising memories would surely crumble into dust it was already an effort to keep his mind from breaking when he was with his LOVER for crying out loud not that he would tell Kanda that... he was sick of the babying. Sick of been weak and scared of his own shadow at times. Sick of having to rely on powers that physically hurt him to use, Kanda was already helping by not falling in with the rest at least not in full but the fact that the others actions where distant at points.
It had been sweet but now it was annoying playing the 'hush now don't cry' card WAS his role he was no victim he refused to continue letting everyone he knew pity him. A tiny smirk brushed his lips at his next train of thoughts.
This world can cut you open but all the scars merely prove that He fought His way through thus he always keep 'em showing, He had learnt the hard way that sanity was suicide when reality was as crazy legends one third of those legends being due to innocence or true it was why he often felt that all of his demons were kicking and screaming but he'd never leave them behind maybe they where right thinking he was insane to think so yet he didn't want them to try to save him 'cause he had never felt so alive. It was as simple as the lesson he had beaten into him as a child in the circus, when they knock you down you gotta stand up and make your own luck... Maybe he really was outta his mind. However nobody had give Him a sign so all he could do was take it one step at a time. After all He knew it's gonna be fine now if he could just get everyone to open their eyes or at least Shut up and give him a chance to try.
Cross kicking him snapped him from his thoughts a deep snarl echoing from his lips as his cat features shown threw into his human form claws and fangs extending as his innocence. All of it agreeing with Kokoro's wish to harm the womanising wanker. Kanda quickly stepping backwards as Mugen glowed agreeing to help the mass wish to do harm even the Grave of Maria taking a few steps back in a 'go ahead he deservers it' kind of manner the red head glaring down at him like he used to when heavily drunk, looking at the exhausted boy covered injuries and dust the small amount of funds he had worked to the bone for being taken before the man walked away to continue wasting it. The look of contempt that Allen had never been able to comprehend even more so now.
"ire ad inferos Cross." Allen forced out a hiss trying to take several calming breaths rather then throwing years of Mana's anger management training down the drain.
"sed quare non permisisti? spawn daemonium habes." Cross snarled firing Judgement off at Allen the bullet veering into the floor at kokoro's command.
Allen gave a soft sound eyes rolling back momentarily Kanda taking another few steps backwards.
"Kokoro don't kill him, maiming on the other hand go right ahead." Kanda voiced.
" Kokoro's beloved Allen no want you hurt, But even Maria and Judgement say go ahead like Kokoro's Allen's 'mate'. Stupid man should of listened to Kokoro's Allen when he was still able to hold us back!" the innocence hissed lowly.
Manipulating Allen's body using her mini army of 'sister's' as a group speeding up and masking Allen from sight slashing the long talons down the man's back kicking hard twice once into the bloody wounds before a second to the womaniser's privates shifting into the even more agile sand cat form darting across the floor almost seeming to teleporting in order to claw and blast a variety of abilities the innocence working together to beat the man who had spent years belittling and hurting their host the clown crow smirking hugging Allen still mentally before deciding that the rest where going too far letting Allen regain control the boy skidding to a halt panting hard in pain spitting up blood onto the pre blood stained floor and paws glad that the innocence hadn't damaged the bedroom he had loved as a child.
"Moyashi are you ok?" Kanda spoke instantly darting to his boyfriends side refusing to look at the other wounded man in the room worried about how much blood Allen was coughing out pitifully.
"gggett... *'cough spultter'* help..." Allen forced out still coughing, This was why he tried not to fight with anything but the clown crown and a fact he had yet to be able to tell his friends or the head nurse.
Timcampy flew full pelt out returning with the as for mentioned woman along with Koumi the Chinese man kneeling down trying to examine before the head nurse worked it out.
"Walker your heart..."
"when 'they' worked out that I could fight better with my innocence thinking I only had the clown crown they copied the hole that they knew my innocence would waste energy patching as a handicap..." Allen fought slowing his breaths as much as he could blood still leaking from his lips.
"its one of the reason you cant control all the innocence..." Koumi finished Allen nodding.
"when they fight they fight as One not as individuals but untied. luckily the clown crown remembered that my lungs where filling with blood... Mugen that is quiet enough... Don't you dare he's down and out any more and he'd be dead there's no need for you to continue-... I know perfectly well what he called me there is still no reason to... DAMNIT I CAN FIGHT MY OWN BATTLES STOP BABYING ME ALREADY !" Allen snarled viciously watching the said innocence merely snort pouting turning her head away the rest of the innocence in the room agreeing with the suzaku before the clown crown chimed in attempting to calm his host.
'Allen we want to protect you, yes kokoro and everyone went over board, but we have no concept of emotion before meeting our hosts thus we have no control over it that man has spent years hurting teasing belittling treating you far below how you should be treated, thus we wanted to put him in his place at least once. I know it was wrong to put you threw that however He Deserved it and we have no regrets in harming his asides making up upset and going to far and accidental causing you pain.'
"sorry..." Allen muttered with a sigh the innocence instantly curling around him the sand cat squeezing its eyes shut at the bright lights.
"communing with the innocence?" Koumi asked as Kanda's eyes narrowed.
"yes.. will you all go back to what you where all doing before taking a vengeance against shishou? Please? Bakanda yes, yes and no."
Koumi raised and eye brow looking at the younger Kanda quickly voicing the questions he had been to ask.
"do your eyes hurt, do you want to try getting back to sleep, did he need me to sic mugen on any innocence that's still pestering him in the next three seconds."
"as I said most innocences is terrified of mugen she's already threatened several innocence my adopted father gathered and kept here after they latched their 'ghost' like forms to me and wouldn't hush... I'm fine now, the innocence is back to normal however as I said to shishou I have a headache I'm not supposed to be awake unless I'm wearing both glasses and sunglasses, I'm exhausted I and wanted to merely rest for a little more..." Allen muttered checks flushing in embarrassment his leg with innocence pawing its claws lightly latching on to Kanda's shirt looking all too much like a child who didn't want to be left alone yet also was on the verge of passing out.
"get cross out of here and keep him their until nightfall, the strain on moyashi's eyes is too much Neah and Jhonny said he need glasses and I think Jhonny picked them up when I was first making Allen rest off his fever he woke up due to a nightmare then after eating we laid down together until cross came in being a jackass."
"you mentioned something about being called something?"
"Shishou's native language the one his Mother raised him on is Latin, that's the language we where fighting with when he got here, I told him to go away, he asked why and called me 'demon spawn' kokoro was already annoyed that he kicked me. The fact that she's spent years with the clown crown Neah and I telling her she wasn't allowed to harm him, added with the fact that Neah who's normally the one to keep her still wasn't here and both the Grave of Maria and Judgement telling her to go for it, I couldn't hold her back." Allen sighed using his free paw to rub his face trying to stop the pain, his eyes stun like all hell and the headache was slowly amping up into a full blown migraine all natural causes it had taken time but he had learn the slim difference between normal ones and ones with causes that had more complex natures.
The head nurse nodded grabbing cross by the ear as the man stirred dragging him out while ranting under her breath Allen fighting a smile at the long list of things the stern woman was complaining about not envying Cross's position, his former master was going to really wish he hadn't been born they way the Head nurse was. Koumi smiling before looking around the room trying to clean up before realising just where they where.
"Allen was this your bed room?"
"yeah... when mana first adopted me we came here for two months, its where he started to teach me everything he knew when we left he tested me monthly to make sure I hadn't forgotten a single thing along with teaching me other stuff." Allen spoke adoringly yawning half asleep.
"Mana, had said if cross couldn't raise you then I would at least have a choice between apprentices so long as a I raised both." Bookman muttered from the doorway "Mana was supposed to take over from me he was using the circus to study the reasons why akuma targeted large groups until his death I never really fought to teach other than pure basics to Lavi, where Mana said should anything happen and you where old enough then you'd be the next bookman rather then that stupid rabbit of an apprentices."
"you knew Allen's adopted father?"
"threw marriage yes in my younger days I married Neah walkers mother my wife formally adopted mana seeing by blood he was the half brother to her own son, Neah never wanted anything to do with the war staying as far out of it as he physically could while mana was eager to learn and wanted to know everything right down to the hidden history, my wife stated quiet firmly that if it didn't take mana as an apprentice Mana would probably shatter out of disappointment. Seeing my mentor noahifed I had to return to my post leaving my wife, mana came with me when his training was over he'd send reports threw Neah to have timcampy bring them to me, this was the only thing Mana had left of his birth mother this house I mean... I believe Neah got quiet the shock when we both sent word that Neah was going to have a baby brother AND a nephew at the same time. I adopted Lavi early December mana adopting Allen late December." Bookman explained gently reaching over petting Allen's fluffy ears watching as Allen began to fully go back to sleep.
"so the bookman clan?"
"Ancient rules state that their should be no more then four, three is preferred but four to record all sides, as the man who raised me is the Noah of knowledge Wisely it made sense for him to record the Noah's side subtly, I as the official bookman to record the Order and Mana was to watch the hidden side, as both Allen and Lavi where far to young to take on the hidden side I threw him into studying and kept him close where Mana foolishly placed Allen into crosses care thinking none who would harm him would dare look for the boy there. If your stating comments on my marriage then I can give you several reasons. One I was young and in love, secondly ancient rules state that a bookman can take but one person to share their records with that one even after their record ends they can stay in contact with so long as at least one child of that union takes on working the family trade if you will, Finally Neah's mother not only had ties to the pope but also her late choice in male companionship not only father Neah, Mana and at least seven known others the most known out of theses other seven Being the Earl himself."
"just one?"
"Lenalee has already come forth saying she'd murder anyone who dared try to take that idiot from her and that so long as her first born is older then 11 years old she accepts the terms of being that one." Bookman ended Koumi's set of questions the Chinese man fleeing the room to locate where in the world he had sent his beloved baby sister and that octopus masquerading as a bunny rabbit.
Allen yawned stretching giving a soft mew nuzzling against Kanda's neck and face purring loudly the dark sodalite blue eyes blinking open slowly giving a small smile before reaching up petting the fluffy annoyance. Allen's purr's increasing arching into the warm fingers tilting his head away suddenly one paw covering his face as he gave a tiny sneeze before nuzzling back into Kanda curling into his shoulder purring warmly.
"well I see someone feels better~" Kanda teased.
"no nightmares this time, besides your comfy..." Allen smiled.
"Bookman talked to Koumi about you and Lavi, He's stated as Koumi was heading off to 'rescues Lena' that as your grandfather he wishes to take you a bit more under his wing... He gave me a lecture on all the historical methods of fighting and torture that would be done unto me if I broke your heart, after all mana was slightly training you to be a bookman if the order wont accept you or if you no longer fight for the Vatican you can become a bookman apprentices with Lavi that way the Vatican cant lay a finger on you."
"What do you think? Should I? Or should we find out what Lavi thinks first he may not like the idea of me breaking in and stealing his job... Besides I thought Bookman wasn't allowed to interact I'm pretty sure being the host of kokoro is kinda involved..."
"come on head nurse wants a full exam and I think they have the glasses now." Kanda spoke standing carefully so Allen could remain balled up on his shoulder.
Walking to the 'living room' of the house finding the red headed general covered injures the man glaring at the happy couple as they entered the head nurse working patching up the deep marks on his back as Lenalee sat glaring at her brother sitting far away occasionally shooting glances at the out cold apprentice bookman where Bookman was tending to the small injuries muttering under his breath.
"paulo monstrum." Cross spat Bookman's head turning shooting a narrow glare.
"quid erat quod vetus homo? moneo ego did stultus homo." Allen shot back Bookman nodding at the response.
"Cross insult The boy again and I will see you meet and early grave, well done Allen I do believe you hit nail on the head. 'What was that old man? I did warn you dullard...' well done I expect Mana taught you that?"
"Mana taught me lots of things, Latin was the first language I master in despite it being one I rarely get to use. I was taught swearing by Shishou's Mother."
"late... She died shortly after the order started claiming both of us where dead Stupid Brat."
"please stop, there is only so far I can keep kokoro form launching a full scare attack without uncle Neah here to pin her down should I start to lose." Allen spoke calmly still curled up on his boyfriends shoulder.
"Allen are you ok?" Lenalee smiled walking over.
"I'm alright just comfy here, how are you?" Allen asked warmly.
"oh not too bad Gege just harmed My idiot rabbit hopefully not to badly or else I'll return the damage three fold~ I see you and General cross got into a fight?"
"Or something." Allen smiled.
"cross barged in drunk as per norm hurt the moyashi and started an argument in Latin, kokoro forced control and beat the shit out of him."
Lenalee smirked at Kanda's words before walking over to the table lifting the simple sliver framed glasses Allen silently putting them on blinking owlishly as Lena gave a soft sound turning to look around the room before shifting carefully so they stayed on without dropping them in the change Kanda ruffling his hair as Lenalee handed over a quick change of clothing the boy dressing quickly before tugging his hair into a simple plait his bangs falling around his checks.
"Not bad." Kanda spoke tugging Allen closer kissing the male gently enjoying the soft purr in return.
"Strike..." Lavi groaned rolling over trying to put on hand against his head "wha did I miss?"
"Just bookman offering moyashi Your job." Kanda teased enjoying the widening of the lone green eye.
"I told you that there was another before you that other being Allen's adopted father and he was training Allen at the time true the boy is years behind however..." Bookman half threatened wanting to see how Lavi would react.
"well fuck I'm doomed... Lena mind helping me study? I mean actual study cant let my lil nephew beat me in Brains as well as good looks now can I?" Lavi spoke half serious his eye pleading with his girl to help him Lenalee cracking a smile.
"Lavi I haven't said yes yet or anything of the sort besides I highly doubt I'm better then you at or in anything..." Allen spoke looking at the ground Kanda running a hand threw his hair with a mini growl.
"Again moyashi? How many times will I have to fight this against you?"
"Until you realise I am right." Allen muttered earning another growl as Kanda death glared cross.
"what the fuck did I do." Cross hissed.
"Moyashi has it permanently that his some kind of filthy ugly thing that's brainless and cant do anything right which I keep ATTMPTING to tell him other wise its one of the few reason we start throwing things during fights. Considering how you've treated him since you disturbing us last night I'd say its safe to blame you for part of this complex." Kanda sneered angrily Lavi blinking looking at the younger in horror.
"moyashi chan I was kidding your really really smart and I don't say that often heck I pretty sure if we did an IQ test right here you'd kick my ass seven ways to Sunday."
"Allen you are hot heck if Kanda wasn't so possessive and hovering all over you I know the names of over ten people who'd would marry you both male and a female."
"Rou fa being one of the bitches one of the most persistent ones, damn bitch cant get it threw her head that your mine." Kanda hissed hugging Allen close.
Allen smiled lightly rolling his eyes Cross's narrowing at the action.
"Not this fucking complex again, Oi pretty boy you'd have it easy to whack the little idiot in the head Anita sent him to all sort of consulars and psychiatrist trying to get him to cut this whole shit not saying I ain't to blame but he's had it since before mana met him."
Allen sighed wanting the subject dropped, it was an argument that was conman between them one he hated he was just to used to he was far to used to the long list of cruel words from his childhood children are really really cruel even more so to those different it was why his beloved was in some-ways lucky to have been raised away from anyone but Alma until finally other young shy children arrived Lenalee was one of the orders biggest secret keepers you could tell her anything and as the longest running children of the order (girls team, as Kanda was the oldest male children from the Order) it had been a reason why many had been worried when the girl started her 'hush or I'll hurt you' relationship with Lavi the orders biggest blabber mouth despite having the job meant to protect secrets.
His scars were deep and he had taken every last word to heart in order to protect himself using the hatred as a barrier if he had been called it once then it wouldn't work again threw accepting that he was every single cruel word then he never need to fear worse besides each word had been proven true repetitively the more it was said the more he gave in it had been something his uncle Neah had noted more then once that it was the easiest way to break him, to merely bring up his own insecurities and AGREE with them. It was something very heart warming for his friends to quickly jump to defend him from the 'truth' in his mind.
"can we please just drop it... Yuu please..." Allen murmured his boyfriend sighing loudly in defeat hugging him close.
"Allen ..." Lenalee tried the boy shaking his head.
"Allen's never been able to accept anything nice said about him trying to tell him otherwise only ends in failure and be taking away one of his oldest defence mechanism don't fret Miss Lee." Neah spoke hovering into the room taking one look at cross and sighing "pissed off Kokoro... Marian..."
"I did nothing of the sort."
"considering I have spent years hugging her so she wouldn't rip out your eyes when Allen was a mere child I Hardly doubt it. Would it kill you to treat my nephew in a way befitting one his age? Honestly Cross if it wasn't for Anita I swear you'd be dead... Speaking of which Why haven't you gotten off your ass and married her yet we both know how she cares and that you never treat any other woman with half as much kindness or respect." Neah half ranted yelling at his longest friend while Allen and his small band of friends exited the room mentally probing just enough to figure out where in the house the four would be should anything happen.
"This is the training room?!" Kanda spoke sound like a kid in a candy store.
"Your adopted father put you threw this?" Lenalee Squeaked in fear looking at the mass amount of weapons that turned the room into a full body life or death work out.
"What this? Oh come one Lena this was the baby steps room, I wanted to see if I can still get threw this one, Mana linked each room together at the end of the course opens room two theirs only ten rooms each a touch more elaborate then the last and require you to use all your muscles including your mind. Heck Mana used to time me until I could get threw all of 'em in under ten minutes before having me do an hour of mediation before some o the basic circus skill. So it never mattered what job I did when travailing be it singing miming part of a circus. The gambling was one I new first but Mana thought it wrong to perfect me in that. Cross at least taught me how to play more then the standard." Allen shrugged moving over to one wall flicking the power on the room lighting up a crackling sound emitting from tone of the hidden rooms further along. "eclectic fence must be charging, don't worry its short like hurtles."
"so ten minutes is your child hood best moyashi chan~" Lavi smiled evilly.
"no my best was six minutes and sixty six seconds why?"
"A bet, or rather a race I want to see if we can beat your old record if we do it in pairs or one at a time is up to you though."
" let me walk everyone threw at least once then you and Kanda can go nuts and I can attempt to see if I'm still in shape, something tells me its a tad much for Lena so she can time us with timcampy acting as a speaker uncle Neah talked me threw partial sound system repairs." Allen smiled at the word bet Kanda smirking looking at the course glee fully as Allen slowly walked them threw it the Japanese man's smile growing at each new item as Lenalee paled further at the high risk course trying to imaging little Allen working threw it.
"geez just how did he create all of this?"
"mana said he based each room on an ancient civilisation seeing how around the world many cultures placed traps to protect the tombs of their rulers, the first room is Egypt then Mayan and then Aztec Mana decided to separate the two, that's followed by Minoan, Roman, Mexican, England, Viking, Chinese and Finally one based on Ninjas each holds weapon's from different eras in there cultures like the England one has more conventional ones you see on army bases, some are time based like arrows and other projectiles being shot out of walls and stone pillars shooting out and walls closing in not enough to be dangerous or trigger my issue but enough to make things harder and slow you down. Heck one room has a tone of optical illusions." Allen smiled at Lavi's question the red head nearly whimpering instantly seeing just how big of a gap between him and Allen's father as apprentice bookman deciding to take the chance to Learn and try to catch up to the long dead man.
"Tim and I will give a yell when you three can start now go." Lenalee sighed sitting down timcampy switching on the megaphone feature that his two owners had fixed.
"no innocence I don't want ANYTHING broken, I'm going to try doing this in human form no guarantees on me still being that way at the end. Promise me." Allen pleaded the two other males nodding knowing that this place was too special to their friend to be taken for granted.
"Again please... I nearly beat …." Allen panted.
"2 mins 14 seconds." Lenalee stated looking at the exhausted trio "still somehow beaten by Kanda at 2 mins 2 seconds."
"later Moyashi... " Kanda panted looking at the overly energetic younger, as Lavi slid down the wall exhausted panting weakly.
"Aw come on..." Allen pleaded warmly.
"Give it a rest moyashi chan... geez your pa never left anything half done..." Lavi half whimpered panting head lolling weakly against the wall.
" I never really noticed, it was why I was so shocked when I recognised the writing in the ark. Mana taught me it, it was his favourite code everything if he was going to leave early he'd use it it was according to him a made up language just for us. He used to right messages for me the ark lullaby was sung to me when I had a nightmare I nearly had a heart attack on having timcampy spit the song up on top of the piano. I never once thought of mana and the war in the same sentence I Refused to doubt him, I told Kanda this but Mana was 'my' Alma the first to care a smidgeon about me." Allen spoke forcing himself to try and calm down the need to continue, it had been too long from a proper for of exercise true he had fought akuma and yokai but that wasn't exercise it a life or death fight, they where aiming to kill but he'd rather be dead then returning back to the Mansion.
"All...?"
"sorry I'm on edge I cant sit still..." Allen spoke calmly as physically he could.
"How bad?"
"Last few months... ii … I buried myself, I couldn't fight I refused to give in or break so mentally I ran and hid as deep as I could pretended I didn't exist... for about five months."
"wha..." Lavi started softly.
"Remember when road fights she can like lock them deep... I basically did that to myself I could still see but the rest of me was limp, I mentally put my hands over my ears and said fuck it they can do what ever the fuck they want but like hell was I going to let them enjoy watching my reactions to everything. The result was me just laying there needing to be physically moved by others I had done it before after mana was gone and cross yanked me from the grave stone and akuma wreckage. Sure Neah and my innocence made sure I ate and went to the bathroom but the rest of the time id just remain catatonic."
"that s how road got you out." Kanda spoke recalling Allen's earlier words.
"yep' The nekomimi spoke popping the 'p' "i had been laying empty for so long road talked them into treating me like a pet. cat cages, leashes, collars Heck they took me to a VET it was on the return from the vet that road got the idea of tripping the one carrying me causing me to fall off the bridge hanging until the leash snapped. Five months..."
"you fought hard." Lenalee stated.
"Lena I didn't exactly fight at that point it was more a case of defiance threw complete ignorance, I noticed they enjoyed it too much how id cry or scream react to everything so I shut down pissed several of em off, first few weeks they tried talking to Neah."
"i spoke to a few then told the rest to shove it and that my only concern was watching over my nephew I just spoke so no one tried to kill Allen for playing dead, Allen you weren't running away that was still a fight and you kicked their ass."
"He's right Allen, you where trapped with only a mental battle left and you did your absolute best, Your not dead there for you won." Lenalee stated...
"look I know my case wasn't as bad as yours but I KNOW what its like to shut off just to give a final defiance, when I was first taken to they order they killed my mother and father in front of me Koumi was at collage he had no idea until he got how to find the carnage, by then I was already half way to the nears order feet sealed and shackled.
They threw me at akuma after akuma saying if I killed them they'd take me home every time I was done id run and every time they'd beat me whip me drug the crap out of me got to the point they chained me to a bed and tasser me till I promised to be good. I cried so hard and screamed so loud till I noticed that leiver liked the sound so I shut off. They undid the chains and I refused to move, they hurt me and I stayed silent I didn't even wince they dragged Kanda in by the hair and threatened to hurt him."
"I kicked the prick and told her to ignore me cause if I had my way id kill everyone including us just so they couldn't Use us." Kanda smirked recalling the defiance that they had shown.
"you..." Allen spoke slightly shyly.
"they only thing that got me to act was something that I think shocked them Koumi used mothers maiden name and enlisted worked his way up and took asked for the job nobody wanted supervisor, then he struck a deal he'd keep all exorcist out in the field on the condition leveir kept away from me and that he'd be place personally in charge of me, he came in cut the ropes smiled and promised me."
"it took her three months to finally believe he wasn't a drug induced illusion or me messing with mugen then it was impossible to pry her from Koumi's arms, around the same time as part of Koumi's deal all children exorcist were released, that included myself and also Sol... the few survivors of the tests."
"We fought and we won that battle, We. you and me Allen the four of us ARE family."
"there's a song that came out while we where last lyrics in it ends 'I can chose my friends and I can chose my family if they wont accept me then other will have me.' You guys are exactly like that for me and the fact bookman hasn't carted me off for saying and worse in his standards MEANING it, we are family got it moyashi chan, the four of us."
"thanks... Lavi do you have a map?"
"Yeah why?"
" world wide and town? Cause they threw me around the world to each of their fucking little castles, mansions and manors right down to their summer homes, along with the full list of their names powers just how Noah they are why their being yanked around by the Earl."
"Are you up to it?" Kanda spoke quickly.
"No, but I have too... besides if I start to lose it I'm surround by the people who will knock me out of it." Allen spoke eyes wild.
Lavi nodding rummaging threw his pockets before tugging out the variety of maps Allen quickly mapping them out marking each location mark all 50 locations, fingers twitching almost desperately before being handed normal paper the snowy haired boys eyes narrowing starting working threw the profiles shacking as he started listing what you had to beware the most for minor traits such as their favourite killing and torture methods how sadistic who they where trying to protect Lavi taking some of the complete ones adding to them where he could as Lena and Kanda carefully kept watch over their fragile friend watching carefully as Neah left to starting informing the others.
"Allen what on earth are you trying to do?" Koumi spoke skidding into the room.
"I've been cowering for too long, I'm sorry for being to weak to even attempt fighting against my own fears... I want to fight, I want to help I spent so long feeling useless and scared out of my wits... but I shouldn't have. If you don't mind me going 'black' for a second however I want to deliver hell to their door step I want them to reap the hate they have sown I want to make them Pay not just for me but for Everything they have done to My Nakuma." Allen's eyes darkened Neah nodding his approval a small smile tracing the Noah's lips.
"our songs know what they have done in the Dark."
"So lets Light them Up, my child hood spat up the monster that they will see." Allen finished Neah's smile matching any of the known Noah ones his gold eyes burning at his nephews words.
"One at a time together, lets start by the ones in this country set traps if the places is empty. According to this they very few travel together lets start by soloist then work are way up."
"Most want freedom for their host Koumi however they still will be made to fight we can use that against them it means we can manoeuvre them so condition's will be easier on us." Neah spoke picking up where the scientist left off cross smirking at the planing looking at the sheets that surrounded his Apprentice.
"only if we agree to leave road out of this for as long as we can." Cross spoke the room nodding giving into the said girls father.
"Hey I recall this jack ass he spits worse then a camel." Lavi spoke lifting a sheet.
"he's only their cause the Earls got his son as well this one, the son doesn't know, thought earl keeps them separated and told the other Noah that both where killed by exorcist." Allen smiled.
"like he keeps trying to tell my little Road, seeing he still thinks holding her aunt as her mother."
"Bring them together then get em while their united free them." Lenalee smiled looking at the group as Allen scattered the paper to get the sons sheet bookman lifting it up calm Kanda smiling.
"but first lets pool our resources train a touch more and actually get used to our innocence, we can use here as a boot camp make everyone rely on only their innocence build ourselves and the cube as best we can." Kanda spoke up actually taking part in the whole team spirit stuff they where pulling.
"Allen think you can manifest my innocence I'm going threw that course we all want to be able to ace the full thing in under a minute using only our innocence got it." Lenalee spoke eyes blazing Allen nodding looking over at Koumi for a second.
"it works faster it I actually touch the innocence especially here, there's too many if I manifest the wrong one accidentally then they could cause a ton of damage." Allen quickly explained.
Before carefully pressing his fingers to the blood made anklets focusing the small butterfly sized Mini Lenalee the small delicate looking Amazon nodding fluttering up to her wielders face nodding as they both took off to practice the course. Kanda glanced down focusing his own energy like he normally would to attack, to help his own innocence to awaken to help manifest the spirit. Allen smiling warmly as mugen rose from the katana gracefully before the room spun slightly yanking his fingers back as mugen fluttered around him trying to force the rush of overly eager innocences that swarmed him the slim glasses doing wonders in order to keep him able to see his human form feeling weak.
"whoa easy there moyashi chan their no sense in pushing yourself. We have time heck yes the orders been breached and attacked repetitively however at the same time it been left standing for decades we have the time to actually practice, Pushing yourself ain't practice Al." Lavi spoke seriously catching him as he nearly fell Kanda's eyes narrowing.
"before you try anything else You need to eat."
"Yes Bakanda I kinda figure that one out myself... Mugen flying around my head wont make the others shoo it just makes ME dizzy. Shishou earlier when you stormed in and interrupted our nap did you actually have something you wanted to say or …."
"Something to say brat, I haven't just me sitting on my ass while pretty boy looked for you, just like all my indulgences where for work not just play. I have spent years trying to find a record of you family tree your Blood family not mana not Neah but the morons who threw you away. I don't think your actually parents tried to off you any more."
"Marian you don't think... I mean I knew the similarity but I just..." Neah spoke quickly paling at the implications.
"what..." came the slightly scared reply his friends (minus Lenalee who was already in the training room) clinging to his side.
"I've been country hoping since you where little trying to work out how the order knew about so many brats scattered across the world, like Anita's big sister Yuuko says."
"there is no such thing as coincidence only inevitability." Allen spoke trembling.
"40 years ago when the earl was just starting to cause hell but only to his own family before akuma's targeted people randomly on the streets the order started to round people up, mothers and young children teens it didn't really matter the age but the younger seemed the better amongst them was myself at one point. They'd take us to these pit the ones they multi-tasked over the years in order to give you your pretty boy, if the innocence took hold we where then shoved back on to the streets if it didn't they would cremate the remains. I recognised several of the others at the time many having upper class family's they where the ladies I visited and All of them all of us have kids who either are Noah or Exorcists."
"there was a pattern?"
"yes Koumi, if they had both father and mother with innocence then their kids ended up with dark matter it only One parent on the other hand had innocence the chances of the child being an accommodator was high, thing is all these kids where odd usual hair or eye colours seemed too mature for their age so I started digging deeper trying to find out who where the first batch they grabbed." cross paused taking a drink of water appeared to be water (appeared cause Allen had his doubts the man could drink anything but liquor)
"the earliest group where taken up their 55 years ago they had the following surnames Runner De campy, Li, Rookerman, Karamada. This batches family divided Rookerman's line all becoming bookman's handing down the innocence, Karamada line was divided between two daughters each taking half the family name Karama and Kanda, Li did a slight change the head branch of the family under the name LEE double E rather then the lone I, Runner Decampy linage faced the most switching."
the three exorcist looking at each other before looking at their innocence Kanda forcing a memory that the hell of his child hood attempted to rob him of recalling how the katana mugen was a family heirloom that had to be protected so it in turn could protect the family he would one day have, Lavi's eyes darting to an equally paled bookman both looking at the blood hammer that his innocence had long since become the small key chain sized object hanging off this belt.
"what happened to the finally one shishou?"
"Runner De campys line twisted on itself and shattered as much as it could trying to hide its very existence, Runner became Walker the De campy part was kept as a maiden name for a little while before the finally De campy switched to calling himself walker as well one of the runner De campy's married a man with the last name Diablo, then the Diablo family also divided to help hide its blood line the spilt being rather obvious Akuma and Noah, the youngest Noah being the earls father."
"Mana was the last De campy..." Neah admitted sitting in the air half in shock.
"yeah and the first walker in the family Wasn't Mana however he did meet the first or rather all you brats have met the first dragged in their due to the order trying to see just how many generations of a blood line they could have innocence stick too the answer wasn't man but their where cases."
"cases Cross?" bookman spoke pale at the history none his clan knew of.
"one the first in a family has innocence it Always Skips a generation unless they have a kid with dark matter which is only achieved if both parents have innocence active. Extra stress can also cause the dormant accommodator genes to come to the surface, none of the kids parents had innocence their grandparents did, in the case of your sister Koumi what was happening at the time."
"I was moving to collage and slowly taking boxes in and out, father had just started a new business trade with a cousin of our and Mom was getting these weird death threats in the mail dad said it was kids messing with her seeing her emotions where all over the place due to being pregnant." Koumi stated paling realising the implications in full "it was fathers mother who gave me my hat and sent Lenalee the baby boots that became the black boots..."
"Calm down, she didn't betray you although it worked we never knew what we had been given, I mean they gave me a gun and minor marksman training but to me that's all it was a gun, it wasn't until it faced an akuma that it proved its worth. tell me what would you think if you were kidnapped for a day handed a document off the church apologising for the confusion with a gift that seemed useless and stupid I mean I was a teen the first Li that was taken was in her 30s to be sent home with a pair of baby boots that she couldn't wear or use where her children where too old or male then suddenly a granddaughter is born." Cross defended Koumi calming down mentally apologising for his paternal grandmother.
"he was taking them at intervals and trying to force the skips to have innocence..."
"the Walker that mana met used to go by the name..."
"Nel, it was short for Nella." Neah spoke "I met her before well you get the picture I told her to watch over mana they where friends."
"yes however Nella was her Middle name she had three sister all three of them where rounded up by Leviers father and was a skip yet she synced with innocence." Cross spoke taking another gulp of what ever was the clear liquid in the cup.
"how? I thought you said that was impossible." Lavi spoke up.
"it was possible because she was pregnant at the time, she wont tell me the father nor is their any easy way to locate the man involved. It was still impossible for a skip gen to have innocence when she gave birth she became as fallen but the innocence kept her sane and alive seals where placed around her so she could continue working for the order, leviers father said the child died after a complicated birth however there was blood and the scent of smoke on him."
Allen flinched eyes misting Kanda quickly tugging the other closer recalling what his beloved had told him about his childhood before the sliver haired boy softly spoke up "snow, fire... I laid there for so long until the flashing lights of the circus past the ringleaders wife said the snow covered all tracks that I owed them my life... when I mentioned a man yelling and kicking before the flames rose her husband said that the man was probably my father 'taking out the trash' but there was no way to know if I even had parents..."
"I doubt that man's your father, However Your mother is still alive I've told her her baby was alive and if you want I can take you to her as your mother rather then how you two have already met." Cross spoke warmly.
"You said she is a fallen?" Lavi stated looking at Kanda the two mouthing the same name behind Allen's back.
"Yes, Her birth name is Hevlaska Nella Walker. Your mother's innocence is the core a lock box that supports all innocence that she could only truly sync with while you where still an embryo inside her because of the Heart, my guess is during labour you bumped into the clown crown the heart was already inside you absorbed it into your tiny form, you mentioned fire?" Cross spoke before his eyes narrowed.
"my earliest memory was of the snow and being made to hold a box with sticks in it that a male figure was lite one of the sticks then drooped into the box my hand half tied to it before being kicked into a tree snow fell down covering all but my arm, the ring leader used to talk when he wasn't beating me or playing his role as ringleader about how they had to untie the remains from the burnt flesh he said the snow saved me but it left me 'red' which was the name the circus gave me. One of the older ladies often question who would do that to a baby in arms they cared for me well until I was old enough to start talking and moving on my own then they put me to work as an attraction..." Allen explained eyes downcast shivering to the point his was causing both Lavi and Kanda to vibrate with him as they held their dear friend.
"Hev's Allen's mother... oh god, look closely while imaging her face..." Koumi spoke seeing the similarity.
"the same features just stretched outwards due to the Fall..." Bookman's eyes widened.
Also linking everything together the wizened man sitting down mouth open as Neah fled the room with timcampy the pair returning with a picture of Hev as a young adult long hair pulled into a long plait a uncanny smile brushing her cheek bones as her silver eyes glimmered the matching coloured hair puffing around her cheeks the young lady where simple black pants and a long sleeved shirt posing with mana for the camera a puppy in her arms Allen's mouth drooping at the sight of his namesake the small king Charles spaniel in the arms of the woman who was no doubt his mother. Mana's hand righting at the bottom Nella and St Valentines XXXX.
"She looks..." Lavi spoke quietly.
"lllike me... Why didn't she say anything?" Allen whispered almost inaudibly.
"she was told her baby was dead and she probably amused that your the descendant of a cousin of hers shortly after she was taken like in the case of the Lee's her entire bloodline was destroyed if she mentioned it levier would have murder you no questions asked. The only reason Koumi wasn't killed was he cant be replaced or killed without people noticing and exorcist killed on battle sure non-combatant who was a high ranking official it was too hard even more so with Lenalee clinging to him along with the agreement and the others watching his back every second of the day." Cross explained.
"Allen are you ok?" Koumi spoke taking a step closer putting hand over the pale teens eyes. "Your burning up!"
" m' fine... side effect... WILL YOU ALL PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BACK OFF!" Allen hissed suddenly the warmth in the room rushing out as Mugen practically giggled at how quickly the younger innocence fled at the normally shy boys sudden anger, not that it was all that sudden Allen had been shooing them away all day and most of the day before. Hell this wasn't even Allen mad at 'em Mugen had seen the boy mad countless times Normally at her wilder and even those never tapped into his true potentials this was mere tired irrational.
"Wow..." Koumi spoke shivering lightly.
"they keep swarming around me, I can handle it the power stuff and the mood swings just..." Allen paused.
Mentally cursing in his head, trying to work out just what the hell was wrong with him, ever since he had gotten out his mood had being bouncing back a forth like a ping pong game gone wrong, he had been exhausted and everyone kept saying he was burning up rooms kept spinning at random there was just something it had been nagging him the entire time he had been free before bolting upright Lavi falling backwards as Kanda looked at him mugen taking to the air, the room staring at him oddly.
"Iii have to go..."
"Allen?"
Neah's eyes flicked mouth falling open "fucking hell I should have known... I should have known."
"We never Had a chance." Allen whispered before falling forward out cold.
"MOYASHI!"
"moyashi chan! What's wrong with him?!"
"poison, I should have noticed sooner... shit which one was addictive... shit fucking dammit..." Neah muttered running a hand threw his hair.
"what?" Koumi spoke eyes wide.
"Moyashi said they where drugging him hallucinogenics..."
"at first yeah along with date rape and countless others... fuck which one was addictive with minimal side effects..."
"What symptoms I know your blood and the heart must have been dulling it enough to keep him active but list what's coming threw, trust me I KNOW this stuff and before any of you give me that look I never use that shit." Cross spoke.
"he cant sleep most of the time, his mood swings worse then a yoyo at the start it still plays up... fear paranoia, he's easier to rile up and get confused often. But I always thought that its because Allen normally bottles everything up, he's had a few hallucinations but they tend to come when he's on the verge of passing out, half asleep, or on the tail end of nightmares. He cant seem to stop trembling and well everyone keeps saying he's hot to the touch but I nor Allen feel any form of warmth." Neah started listing agitated and worried.
"they must have started him on it slow for withdrawal to take this long to get this bad... anything else Neah smallest details help." cross spoke trying to calm his old friend.
"his heart beats been all over the place its running higher the normal its wasn't to notifiable at first I didn't pay too much attention to it its high but not dangerously so I only really paying closer attention to it earlier when he almost had a seizure which he blamed on them re doing the heart injury." Kanda spoke up dark eyes watching Allen cradling the boy carefully on his lap.
"that's... but wait has anything he's face spray or emit anything."
"when we ran into him before he shifted in between shifts a yokai puffed out a dust cloud Allen started coughing due to it that was at most a week ago and he's been acting up since I mean when we first started taken to us..." Lavi spoke Cross's eyes narrowing darken.
"GHB... fucking hell, he's in for a hell of a ride... Kate, think you can rustle up what we will need?"
"Certainly, Kanda keep him still we don't want to trigger a seizure their common in this drugs case. Other things you need to keep an eye out for is sudden cramping and sweating, he's going to be all over the place stop common withdrawals deal with confusion, agitation, anxiety, panic, intense feeling of impending doom and finally Paranoia. The sleep he's in currently watch it closely its going to be very restless and if his heart speeds up to much the innocence patching his heart could fail or be unable to keep up causing blood to flood his breathing and worse he could go into cardiac arrest..." the Head nurse spoke ignoring the fact that the wayward general called her by Name.
Kanda nodding Lavi moving over carefully snagging one of Allen's wrist to keep an eye on his heart beat his adopted 'father' and him working out a system so the elderly man could write up the beats per minutes so they would know exactly when the boy had an issue mugen fluttering back down perching herself under Allen's neck carefully controlling her heat hoping to help kokoro heal the pale boy, Neah deciding to alert Lenalee with her brother that way the two could leave and meet up with jhonny to inform the order while the nurse rounded up those in the ark to fetch at the medical equipment they where going to need.
"ngghmmm..." Allen groaned softly the room turning to look at the small exorcist who had collapsed a little over three hours ago.
"hey idiot how do you feel?" Kanda spoke gently brushing some of the silvery locks out of the others face being careful not to bump any of the equipment.
"did anyone get the licence plate of what ever hit me? I haven't felt this much pain since I was three and nicked one of the throwing pies off the ringleaders son Cosimo... so why the heck do I feel like my body's finally reacting that befitting a normal persons reaction to eating a ten kilogram bag of brown sugar..."
"the got you hooked on a high powered drug, the yokai we ran into gave you another dose but the Noah genes and the heart kept the majority of it out of your system, its one that the more you have the stronger you end up needing the yokai had a low dose but it was enough to set you into withdrawal for the stuff..." Lavi explained " your lucky cross was able to work out just what before you had a seizure..."
"ow... so why am I still able to recall falling on my face..." came the weak reply.
" the second we noticed you where going into the tonic phase we injected you with a muscle relaxant and held you still keeping from harming yourself too badly." the head nurse spoke up "you really are unlucky Walker..."
"so what drug caused this..."
"GBH." Cross spoke watching as Allen struggled to open his eyes repeating the three letters.
"g...b...h..?"
"G, fantasy, grievous bodily harm, liquid ecstasy, soap, cherry meth, blue nitro. One of the two strongest date rape drugs and most commonly used... to be as bad as you they would have started you on next to nothing then slowly upped it over time. Withdrawal tends to start kicking 12 hours after the last hit and the worse goes up to 15 days but to truly kick it out of your system your be at it for two years kiddo." Cross stated moving over gently grabbing one of Allen's arms "its one that normally needs to be swallowed, but …."
"how long..." Allen asked weakly the sedatives still keeping him for truly being able to panic.
"once in some one's system 15 mins enter, exit can be a little over 4 hours. it can cause memory lapses so I wouldn't think to hard you probably wont recall much, but I doubt they ever gave you any where near over dose levels."
"your not mad?" the hazy reply echoed the stern woman darting over to turn lower the sedatives from the petite man's they needed Allen awake for observation to see just how bad off he was.
"why would we be mad?" Lavi spoke in unison to bookman and cross.
" no moyashi were not, its called a date rape for a reason. Were going to get threw this ok? Not going anywhere unless its with you baka no reason to fear your safe with me. Your gonna be ok heck the best of the best are here to make sure you pull threw this part till its out of your systems for now, while you recover I've got everyone training their asses off and trying to mediate enough that they can manifest their innocence without help."
"he's not kidding theses drills are Spartan... the science department is actually working Reever's doing some top secret thing for Kanda while the rest fiddle around to make stuff to throw at the Noah mansions the hellish stuff they used to test on everyone's getting weaponized."
"Lavi they where always weapons and are you saying my Yuu is from Sparta cause I am pretty certain Japan was even more strict in places during the Edo period. Even more so for samurai and women during the time this is a war after all, my Yuu showing his tough love so no one dies needlessly." Allen smiled trying to lean into the said boy stopping when the head nurse clicked her tongue as a warning.
"Your shitting me..." Lavi whimpered as Kanda leaned over kissing Allen's nose.
" if anyone gets to kill you baka usagi it will be me or Lena at worse I'll accept Koumi or Reever but that's where the list ends." came the sharp reply Kanda staying focused on Allen watching as his short yet sweet boyfriend shook hard.
"Walker?" the old woman asked softly.
" I'm ok ….. ok scratch that anyone had like a blindfold or something? I've had years of practice at telling illusion from reality so if you guys are intending to tie me to the bed do it while I'm awake before the shit I'm seeing gets anything clearer..." Allen stated eyes squeezed shut Kanda gently tying him still the nurse ushering the majority out of the room before taking her post in the adjoining room door slightly open leaving the two alone.
"I'm not leaving you ok Tenshi... their not real."
"I know, ii know its not really its more of a case of I'm Used to seeing stuff that shouldn't be there like Mugen however the majority of what's done just twist that uses that against me... its the whole touchy feel shit I'm not used to..."
"touchy feely?"
"you know how you see lotuses as part as your curse right... it sort of like that but I KNOW its not really but It gets harder the longer I dare focus on it. That's why I asked for the restraints, one of the really bad ones I had back in that hell the locked me in a tiny white room there was one thing else there if Neah hadn't been there, if kokoro wasn't trying to fight to keep me at least a little lucid I would have killed myself." Allen spoke feeling the blindfold carefully wrapping around his eyes trying to make it easier, mugen making herself known resting on his chest keeping his body temp even.
"your doing good moyashi keep talkin' ok? Try to focus on me and use that as a distraction."
"i am, bakanda I am please don't let go please..." the first whimpers started the Asian man gently prying open the pale fingers pushing his on between them letting Allen squeeze his hand tightly painfully so.
"I'm not going anywhere, moyashi. You can do this ok love you, keep talking to me Arren its gonna be ok." Allen nodded at the firm words struggling as it became hard to tell the truth around him.
" iii …."
"you can do this Arren, tell me... what do you smell?"
"tobacco... oh god please no... nooo more..." Allen whimpered tears falling twisting in the ropes head shacking.
"Arren Focus on My voice I'm Right here Hime focus on my voice."
"I can hear him, oh god... please I don't want to … make it stop... Yuu ….. I want Yuu please no! I DONT WANT THIS! NO LET GO OF ME! NO!" the smaller thrashed harder the fabric damping as the tears soaked into the thick material.
" I'm right here Arren Your Yuu your bakanda I'm here." Kanda continued looking at mugen the bird starting to glow trying to twist the horror the once overly naive exorcist was suffering into something less terrifying as the head nurse entered.
"if you need to leave he is in safe hands Kanda, I know you care for him but this is hurting you as well consider your health."
"my only health problems lay with the fact I've walked away once I let my own hallucination consume me and hid I'm not failing him a second time besides he'll accept reality faster if he can cling and cry for a bit." Kanda spoke.
Sure his fingers were numb but even if Allen's hands weren't cutting off circulation he wouldn't have budged, he was no stranger to hallucination's but mugen had turned those terrifying near schizophrenic nightmares into mere flowers and a figure in the distance the voices he knew where their yet mugen blocked them from his ears just as he was certain the innocence was trying for Allen but it had limits the collection bound to his beloved where exhausted from holding the drug withdrawal from effecting the boy for too long before Allen even knew he had been dosed up it had burnt out the more worrying symptoms masked them to protect him but even the tiny amount of Noah blood was burnt out from trying to force the problem away without informing its host.
Yes Allen would hate that he'd been seen this weak convulsing and sobbing but as he had said the second it end He KNEW Allen would lunge into his chest staying there until he could regain enough control to be able to face people, he had known that since their first mission true at the time he nearly strangled his soon to be lover but it had been come a habit that he didn't mind allowing it felt good that he could Help in anyway. the fact Allen sought comfort in him and him alone spoke volumes. Suddenly he lost the train of thought taking a closer look at his dear Allen eyes narrowing before turning to the old woman.
"He's hallucinating Tyki's torture over him..."
the woman's eyes widened a fraction taking a second look as Allen pleaded weakly struggling weakly in the ropes the few cords that they had been worried about moving earlier slipping off as the convulsions continued. The teen was struggling the pleading divided to begging forgiveness and in some cases seeming to agree with some unseen force and screaming in terror of not wanting something, praying almost for it to go away that he didn't want 'it'. His physical reactions where also fairly common yet at the same time Kanda was right the majority of the movement was kicking and trying to run or break free mixed with pulling backwards as if being touched and rejecting it.
Added with the screams for help, and the painful broken whimpering this wasn't just the drugs at fault the withdrawal must have trigger the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder the boy would have no doubt accumulated the lapse between giving the trapped scared unspeakable memories and forcing them into the open mixing into one horrible ride for the distraught boy making them glad Neah had been sent far away and kept occupied in locating the positions of every Noah in the world along with the exorcist and to insure Kanda's 'do this or I'll kill you' training methods where put in place.
"the withdrawals hallucination triggered the PTSD, so far although its bad he's not to different to other hallucination sufferers, a mix of Olfactory, tactile, auditory and is in the mood-congruent of Depressed."
"Which Means?" Kanda barley bit back the growl.
"his senses for hearing smelling and feeling are high compromised and out of the norms of feeling like everything is his fault and believing that he's god he is in the former and blaming himself needlessly this is where it blends with the auditory his sense of hearing, the vision is manifesting a voice or a sound and he 'hears' talking most about him some sufferer's claim to here friends insulting them or strangers ordering to do things and so on, I over heard you conversation before it fully took over about him smelling tobacco that's the olfactory sense being manipulated. Other cases have stated the scent of corpses or burn rubber normally unpleasant smells occasional they believe they them selves are making it but I doubt so in this case."
"whats was the other one you said."
"Tactile? that's touch their have been case of people swearing to have been bitten, slashed/ clawed/ cut open without the marking aside where they have racked open their own skin, common cases say feeling something crawling under the skin, electric shocks travailing threw the victim and also feeling some one touching them. Going off the idea that its mixed with the PTSD then this hallucination probably occurred, most likely while drugging the drug being active and Allen being to high to recall it it was blotted out by the drug locked up deep in his mind..." Kate tried to explain mentally going over the training she hadn't needed since she was still studying to be a nurse.
Mentally bring up the a summary on the topic- In normal situations, memories are formed from sensory data, organised in a part of the brain known as the hippocampus, and integrated with previous memories in the frontal cortex. People then "make sense" of their memories through the use of language, which helps them to describe their experiences to others and to themselves. In traumatic situations, however, bits and pieces of memory are stored in the amygdala, an almond-shaped structure in the brain that ordinarily attaches emotional significance to memories, without being integrated by the hippocampus and interpreted in the frontal cortex. In addition, the region of the brain that governs speech often shuts down under extreme stress. The result is that memories of the traumatic event remain in the amygdala as a chaotic wordless jumble of physical sensations or sensory images that can re-emerge as hallucinations during stressful situations at later points in the patient's life.
To see it happening in person was different, the ageing woman knew the why, winced at the vulgar hints of the How, had been told then when yet she felt Powerless to help even more powerless in trying to Explain without reciting countless documents on the case, it was always the hardest part of a job to tell loved ones that their hands where tied that their wasn't a true treatment and in this case neither did unless unleashing a set of drugs that were legal yet still addictive that could potentially make the boy high as a kite.
Allen Walker had been one of the more perplexing cases the boy couldn't sit still, was always wounded and yet kept pushing himself foolishly, his body's systems where near impossible to explain without gaining a headache from the confusion. Yet even she knew minor things about the boy, hell if it wasn't for they fact they where all forced to work for the church in the first place he could have been bullied for being a choir boy, if they teenagers the exorcist had been where giving a chance at a true education with others of their age then Allen would have been teachers pet, as it was people generally thought of him as a golden child one pure in so many ways.
He was gentle yet firm and always smiling, quick thinking when he Knew what he was dealing with (rather then when the boy would be roped into one of the idiot red haired bookman pranks or had been left alone with Lenalee) but the boy loathed anything that could lead to addiction coffee was once a day then no more only an all sorts of tea threw the day, sugar sweets and chocolate didn't effect him however it seemed like he ate a lot of them he generally kept to more healthy meals (like when the boy tried getting out of the hospital wing by consuming a fruit plater containing over a thousand apple products be it caramel apples to juice.) booze was out of the question although the boy was well versed in the substance he refused to even touch anything that could be spiked (after seeing Lavi spike a certain temperamental want a be shinagami) but then that was due to cross in all cases, anyone who smoked near him quickly stopped never mentioning their reasons but all while making it clear the albino had said something to make them truly consider their health.
Many swapping to pockey rather then the dangerous roll of tobacco, other than timcampy Allen owned no form of technology the boy preferring to put things into the posts hand or have the said golom ferry around things despite the small brief rumour that Allen had a mini mp3 which later turned out to be timcampy having videoed the audio of songs Allen had over heard and enjoyed the golom using its wings and tail as a head set and should Allen wish to sing along the tail acted as a microphone shocking a full third of the order. As for drugs they normally had to tie the boy to the bed just to give him a mild painkiller in the past to see him now as the hallucination finally started to break away as a incoherent mass of tears twitching limply in the ropes remains Kanda slowly moving his hand trying to regain feeling while not pulling away from his beloved.
"Tenshi?"
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... ii didn't mean too please don't hurt …. ii failed them, I failed everyone oh god I'm sorry..." the empty chatter came with the odd rhythmic twitching his voice broken and sore from screaming for god knew just how long this hallucination had lasted...
But now All they could do was wait for him to regain conciousness and PRAY...
((there we go with we've got the head cannon I mentioned of Allen's mom aka Hev, I stumbled on the idea half asleep rereading the Alma ark and notice (like countless others) that Allen and Alma share a lot of physical features same with the ghost that turned out to be the lady of Kanda's visions and Alma's last life but the same base features the both matched Hev on noticing that I starting thinking. Hev looks like a fallen which can be happen two ways 1. betray your innocence, 2 fall out of sync with it completely.
Her innocence is the cube the large ass-ed item that all 109 fragments stick back into it was then I recalled an anime called 'witch-blade' which although is defiantly tilted towards a more male audience is part 'chick flick' at points and is an anime Based on an American tv show and comic book line (comic not manga however I've only watched the anime) from before I was born.
One of the charterers synced with the shows name sake this twisted alien looking metallic and crystal device that hijacks the minds of a female host (only ever us girls) minds and gives them the fighting power of a bomb threw nearly stripping them complete -.- the character in question however HAD a 100% the change of syncing with the said item WHEN she was pregnant with her daughter... but on giving birth that sync went POOF.
Thus I wondered it the same was true in Hev's case seeing how they say she became like that 30 ago years ago short after when all the hinted spooky stuff like older Allen look alike and Neah's death where happening, I don't know if I'm going to make mana Allen's birth father yet that's still is a IDK .
Now on to the dark side, I apologise for putting Allen threw this hell but as you can see he's slowly building up the will to truly fight. However now his body is going 'nope cant do that you need rest', to be honest the last half I thank google for. As for giving the head nurse a name although I mean no disrespect I named her after my aunt who is a head nurse at a large hospital in my home country Australia where I live my aunt's is no where near in looks or age to the head nurse but my aunt defiantly has the stern 'OBEY ME there is no other options just do it for the sake of your health' vibe down pact when working or when slightly annoyed at anything.
Fortunately no one I personally know of has suffered from any of the medical hell I have mentioned in this chapter and I hope I don't offend anyone threw this I want to raise awareness and in this case Internet is a huge friend, Ghb is one of the most common date rape drugs recognising the symptoms even if its only the withdrawal for you any anyone you know can help as for hallucinations I've tried to put in as much as I could. This was to explain Allen's attitude and the earlier hints.
Reviews and comments always welcomed hope you guys continue reading this work.
Songs Used this Chapter are the following - Stand Up by The Cab, Light Em Up by Fall Out Boy, The Grey by Icon For Hire and finally Hell To Your Doorstep from The Count of Monte Cristo Musical my version is sung by a you tuber under the name Puccagarukiss.