A-
"Like hell, No we are not using you as bait what if it works to well I refuse to let you put yourself in that much risk!" Kanda snarled.
"Its just as big of a risk as where currently taking We're EXORCIST taking controlled risks are part of the job whether or not we want it." Allen hissed back.
"If you think for one SECOND!" Kanda started Allen cutting him off with a deep snarl.
"Since when do You Think You control me!"
"Since when do you think its fine to walk right fucking into a trap!" Kanda returned the animal's escaping in fear very few staying to watch as Lenalee and Lavi watched.
"Allen, Kanda..." Lenalee spoke up trying to stop the boys flinching when they glared at her, Lavi shacking his head as the pair started spitting insults at each other.
"Who do you think you are to Dictate MY LIFE!"
"Moyashi your too fucking weak both mentally and physically, you cant even handle hearing their fucking names without suffering a melt down or Do you want to end up being tortured by them!" Kanda spat glaring hard.
Allen's eyes hardened as Kanda punched him hard in the face the younger male's claws racking into the man he loves arm Lavi garbing Kanda and pulling him back.
"Fuck you." Allen hissed licking the blood off his fingers shifting into his cat from taking off.
"What the hell is wrong with you!" Lenalee yelled at the japanese man before running off trying to find their feline friend.
Kanda winced as Lavi bandaged his hand glaring at him before giving a low sigh.
"Kanda that had to be your biggest fuck up that I have ever seen, yes all of us are concerned about Allen's state dancing around it because it scares us however Allen's right about this, yes its a risk but a calculated one that we will be there to help control your actions not only would have hurt but open up his wounds." Lavi started to lecture.
"Allen? Allen where are you?" Lenalee called trying to find where the small sand cat had gotten too finding Timcampy looking around as well unable to find the kitten.
The fox kits running over to her yipping at her ankles leaping upwards to bite her skirt pawing the ground in circles their mother joining the kits in their weird panic attack Timcampy fluttering down for a closer look before sending out a set of high pitch alert sound the Chinese girl's heart nearly stopping before looking at the hole they where dancing around seeing the sand cat still in arms reach unable to breath, the girl gasping picking the sand cat up darting past the two boy's.
"Allen Vet HURRY!"
"Exorcist or not I SHOULD be calling the zoo this is a case of an endangered and rare creature from overseas." The male vet spoke glaring slightly at the three of them before one of the female vet's gave a cry of alarm as Allen attacked the pupils slits narrowed and the sliver glassed over fangs bared fur on end claws fully extended his ears laid flat against his head.
"Allen calm down your safe, shh your going to be ok..." Lenalee attempted recoiling in shock when her hand was slashed open the innocence burning her flesh the Male vet taking over quickly somehow managing to subdue the small feline.
"Ming-Yue your mothers here for her weekly visit." A nurse called threw the p a system before a willowy woman entered the room.
"Allen..." came the aged woman gasped her voice filled with sorrow and horror sweeping across the room petting the soft snowy ears checking him over before relaxing her violet eyes glimmering.
" Noah." Lavi spoke.
"Keep your hands off my mother!" Ming-Yue the vet growled.
"Ming its fine, death is a freedom in itself I fear it not. Anything to get me way from that monster and keep you safe." The Chinese woman spoke only paying her son and Allen any attention.
"We're not going to attack our concern is our friend and we would only go to battle if your mother intends to tell the Earl or Tyki about Allen's location." Lenalee spoke glad that they had sent Kanda back to the hotel to think about his actions and work on forming an apology.
"I wouldn't tell that Guàiwù anything, Because of him I had to hide my only living baby as he made me watch the Black order kill my husband and eldest son."
"Your husband?" Lavi asked.
"He was a finder it was a time of peace noah's weren't active I had gone into town I had been having a nasty headache for a week due to these markings as well as signs of me being pregnant again. I returned home only to being grabbed and held back by that Guaiwu forcing me to watch as the order stormed in. My husband was shot by a man he had brought a higher up over mere days before, after seeing our daughter, their had been those hideous ball things in town that our daughters dance destroyed with some boots from my Yuèmǔ, my mother in law." The woman spoke her son touching her shoulder.
"They shot my father threw the head and smacked my elder brother in the back of the head with a gun enough to have him bounce off the floor, that monster you fight videoed the experience. He didn't know mother was pregnant. When Lulubell smelt the change of hormones she helped my mother hide and look after me. Until I could be given to her vets who worked here giving mother the excuse of supplies for Lulubell to see me. I am a parasite type but useless the Order and Earl are to blame for my families destruction." Ming- Yue spoke.
The young adults mother turning Lenalee's eyes widening before letting out a soft cry " Mǔqīn?"
"Lena ?" Lavi asked as his girlfriend stepped closer the old woman turning to face them tears quickly filling her eyes.
"Lenabena..." the woman spoke opening her arms as Lenalee threw herself crying into her mother the vet blinking before garbing his glasses out of his pocket putting them on.
"You like just like mom... your the sister the Order stole?"
"Koumi's alive, He survived and studied hard to be able to sneak into the Order and take on the position of Branch supervisor for the European branch, with your glasses on and the white jacket you like like a mini one... its kinda terrifying." Lavi spoke the older woman gasp.
"He's alive?"
"Timcampy can you..." Lenalee asked letting Allen's golom out of her pocket.
"Pretty~ Yeps." Timcampy chirped before projecting as many images as he could the countless annoying yet fun moments of her brother causing Lenalee to cringe.
"Gege became over protective of me but he looks after everyone and turned the order into a home everyone in our branch cares for each other we work together, this is Lavi my boyfriend and Allen and his boyfriend are here but Allen's breathing issues began after having an argument with his boyfriend so we sent him to the hotel alone to cool off." Lenalee spoke still in her mothers arms as Timcampy gave more and more pictures of her and Koumi with the rest of the order.
"Your right that is creepy... Ah mom Lulubell's stuff is in its normal draw I need to check him over." Ming-Yue answered before carefully moving Allen out of the room.
"A boyfriend?"
"Lavi Bookman, please don't hurt me..."
"Gege keeps attacking him I think my bunny's getting a complex." Lenalee crooned at the terrified expression causing her mother to laugh.
"Die Lee, I'm the noah of pity and im sorry about my Ko he has always been like his father I am sorry for him scaring you so..."
"Pity?"
"My powers let me see those close to death their sorrow and pain... its why I have a bomb attached to my leg innocence in liquid form that will be injected into me should if I leave a predetermined route that that Zhēngníng de guàiwù has set."
"Muquin?"
"My tears they are a requirement for akuma... the Earl pours it on the one who calls normally on their clothing not even enough for them to notice often thinking its their own tears, this is why akuma kill their callers. My tears draw them to them and make it impossible for them to fight the command, it also makes the caller more willing to die so they don't fight back or scream." Die Spoke hugging her daughter close fighting her tears and shame by clinging to her long lost baby girl.
"Gramp's and I always wondered about that and we couldn't get info out of Allen the only known survivor of calling an akuma if only due to the heart and clown crown killing the akuma frame." Lavi murmured.
"These tears they make who ever touches them suicidal helps them believe that if they can just here their love ones voice one last time that they wont if they die, that they deserve death for defying what ever religion they believe in to try their hands at human resurrection, it makes them more acceptance of the death and helps them rush out their final words expose their truest emotion... often there are akuma of loves that had gone unconfessed their living want to be lover calls the akuma and my tears give them the freedom to admit their forbidden love before dying. I have never called my husband I am the daughter of an exorcist the wife to a finder and the mother of at least two acomedators."
"Ming-Yue's innoncece?"
"I have innoncece it was in a tattoo I got against mothers knowlage or my adopted familys aproval a butterfly on my back for mom the innoncece must have been in the ink and it turned me into freaking dr doolittle." Ming- Yue grumbled.
"Its the lucky dip of doom that has no real prize." Lenalee smiled weakly
"Be glad there are worse." Lavi added.
"Really? What could be worse?"
"There plenty worse..." Allen spoke up wincing in pain before forcing his body to shift into human form Lavi quickly helping him re dress.
"Such as." Ming- Yue continued.
Allen's eyes flashed letting his innocence control him " There's being a living puppet, there's the threat of erasing your own existenceif you think anything overly negative. Being unable to express physicalemotion without bleeding. The slowly draining away of your memories people wanting to poke and prod you, destroy you, corruptyou simply for existing! To make certain people able to die but forcing the spirits to continue fighting the war and being able to force their souls back to a corporealstate at the price of emotions." Kokoro giggled darkly the cat iris still present on Allen's human form.
"Kokoro chan that's enough he mean any harm." Lenalee spoke placing a hand on her friend's shoulder.
" I know, but then He walked into it, a false innocenceis far better then a true one Kororo's beloved Allen hurt so bad and Neah no here to tell Kokoro how to make the pain go bye bye. It hurts, it hurts so much, he wants to run to his bad boy but he dosen't want to be anywhere near him. He craves him and hates himself for craving what he can't have, it burns." Tears started falling as Kokoro tried to explain.
Lavi being the first to understand. "Allen's heat cycle its just started didn't it, but Kanda really hurt his feelings, I've never seen them fight like that."
"He sounded like that ….." Kokoro broke off looking at Lenalee's mother backing away slightly.
" I wont harm you... I take it that something your friend said was close to one of Tyki's... 'speeches' detestable child." Die spoke her violet eyes narrowing in contempt of the Noah of pleasure even more so when Allen's body nodded at Kokoro's will.
"Kept making it so Kokoro would ask to be torturedratherthen let him do nasty things to Kokoro's Allen kept making US say we liked the punishment..." Kokoro sniffled curling into a human ball Allen's body trembling sobbing softly as Lenalee's eyes narrowed recalling the fight.
"Shh you nor Allen are at fault, here dry your eyes... Ming-a-Ling if you wish to join your siblings do so. Don't worry about me I may be old but I have a few tricks up my selves, LenaBena I'm sorry, I have to go if I don't im going to cry which will only lead to someone killing themselves and I couldn't live with myself if I killed my babies or their friends. I'll get as many akuma to return with me and lead them to their destruction and have Lullubell and friend of mine to lead a false trail I suggest staying out of Italy for a few months." Die spoke hugging her children before grabbing the item's for Lulubell winking before exiting the building.
"The Order member who killed our father and took you..." Ming-Yue spoke testing the waters.
"Traitor's stripped of literal everything including their clothing and exiled to living in a frozen waste land till their deaths without any supplies. The only harm the Order can do to us is leaving Gege unsupervised he build robots... that always malfunction but no one's been permanently physically damaged of killed yet but mental traumas fairly high..." Lavi stated firmly trying to reassure his girlfriend's little brother.
"Beside's Allen is normally the one to pull the short straw. Koumi keeps thinking Allen wont fight back and testing the robots or poitions on him until Lenalee, Kanda or I go beat the pulp out of him. Heck other wise he just lays their only waking for coffee or when someone says Lenas pregnant or getting married."
Ming-Yue started laughing gently before placing a hand on Allen's shoulder giving off a series of small feline sounds Allen's head jolting upwards at the communication.
"Allen lets go back to the hotel ok?" Lenalee spoke gently helping her friend to his feet as her brother and Lavi started chatting already feeling like her brother's would be the death of her that or one day she would kill them.
"Lavi is he ok?" Kanda spoke the second Lavi entered.
"He and Lenalee are in the lobby having some food, the attack was brought on from the fight and Kokoro came out... That bastard made Kokoro beg for Allen to be tortured rather then more rape and forced them to say they enjoyed it. Kanda you fucked up, yes you want to protect him. I want to protect him! We all do but Allen was making the right choice in saying it was a back up plan, We've lost our time window for today and Allen's heat cycled started, but right now he's dancing on knives with you and with everything, He can't afford that."
"I know! Damn it, Why the fuck cant I ever just tell him anything. Without it blowing up in my face... I love him Lavi. Why the fuck can't I just be perfect enough to keep him safe..."
"Kanda, Hes not looking for perfect! He's looking for you simple to be their to stand with him back to back, arm in arm not to lock away in a tower or abuse him... Think kitten, your saying 'dawww aren't you cute' but to him after the hell's he has survived that reads 'I'm going to cage you bruise you break you' he was kidnapped and restrained force to living under rules and limits that he hated... A slave to them that's how his situation was hes so luck he didn't develop Stockholm Syndrome towards the Earl and Tyki considering what little we do know..." Lavi explained gently trying to help his friend.
" Is he ok!" Kanda panicked Lavi sighing at the odd display it was rare to see the older male act like this, Heck Kanda had been over 20 twice withing his first life then his current cloned one to see him so flustered was terrifying.
"Allen's fine. However we now have another with us, Lenalee's mother is a noah her son that she gave birth to and hid while after the Earl made her watch the order killing her husband and taking Lena. Her mother's leaving but Lenalee's baby brother is with us, He's a vet who innocence lets him talk to animals."
"YOU IDIOT!" Kanda suddenly snarled.
"What?"
"He's terrified of vets! Due to those bastrad's Allen doesn't like being treated like an animal or a pet, He says its demeaning and that's one of the things those bastrad's did to him! Its why he refuses to get or use any of the cat stuff Link insisted we buy!" Kanda yelled storming down stairs grabbing Allen in princess hold and carrying back up kicking Lavi out of the room.
"Kkkkannda?"
"I'm sorry, I was a fucking idiot …. fuck Arren I get so freaking worried about you that I sort of tune everything out to focus on your safety." Kanda started running a hand threw his hair as Allen sat on the bed to his suprise Allen started giggling.
"Sorry, its just... recall how we first started our realationship."
"The singing village, the one that was fucked up and made us sing..." Kanda questioned Allen's trail of thought.
"Like birds, no your reaction then it was like the songs that old fujoshi got use to sing... the two solos then that final." Allen chuckled lightly as the realization finally passed over the normaly nonphased nearly blank (minus death glare) expersion Kanda normally showed lightly moving over to kiss Allen at the memory.
"Go on remind me." Kanda smirked.
"Every time we lie awake, After every hit we take , every feeling that I get, but I haven't missed you yet, only when I stop to think about it, I hate everything about you why do I love you, you hate everything about me why do you love me." Allen lightly sung.
"I hate you when your gone, I hate you turn me on, I hate the way I need you when I don't know where you are, I love it even more when I find you on the floor, I know you think you hate me but I will always hate you more, i'll take what ever I can take, when ever I can take it, if it ever comes." Kanda added recalling the song he had sung loving how Allen shivered next to him.
"Feeling lyricial huh?" Allen purred lightly.
"You could bet that." Kanda smirked as Allen's face broke into a beautifully wicked grin.
"Oh is that so~"
"How long will your heat last I think we should rent a separate room and so I can sate you over and over till you cool off."
"Every two weeks and last about 4 to 7 days multiple hours each day for the next few months..." Allen cringed at the idea.
"We can't stay in this town that long... What do you think of Lenalee's brother?"
"He hates the order and the Earl and think his powers weak, hes got a a 56% with it. He looks like Koumi but is more rational and childish but then considering he is only 18 this year that's understand able. Lenalee's doting attention on him and trying to help him get a better understand of what having innocence means, I think he maybe able to calm Koumi and actually get him to work." Allen spoke "Why?"
"Because they can deal with people and the innocence your staying here if they haven't gotten all the innocence and akuma by the third day then. We'll do your plan BUT together got it." Kanda stated flatly keeping the younger male tightly in his arms.
"Is the bet still on?" Came the soft slightly hopeful reply after a few seconds of silence.
"After we tell em to shove it for a few hours ok?" Kanda teased kissing the younger.
"I love you..." Allen murmured snuggling against his older lover.
"Shh rest for now, love you my Arren." Kanda whispered feeling the tension in Allen's shoulders slip away as he feel asleep the albinos slender fingers curled in his shirt gently picking the angelic adult up heading back down to meet Lenalee's little brother.
"Is he ok?" Lenalee asked as Kanda sat down.
"I apologized and he accepted, and you?"
"This is my second baby brother Ming-Yue, and this is Kanda." Lenalee introduced the barely legal adult looking up from some books, looking the japanese man in the eyes before his sisters words clicked.
"Mom never mentioned another brother?"
"Lena calls Allen her baby brother." Lavi explained.
"Ah, do I want to know why there is an exorcist sand cat innocence as a rule dosen't due full body transplants even for something as biologically complex as the heart."
"The Earl did that to him we don't know a lot yet ourselves just that what they put him threw..."
"What's the strangest part is the noah, they aren't able we shouldn't be able to due that much damage... I took up being a vet mainly because of how little work I get and that it gives me a place to work on studying DNA. I wanted to understand the difference between noah and normal as the noah seem super human when they aren't nowhere near, I got the idea after lullubell explained it to me as a kid... her words sumed it up like the noah DNA was a virus and certain innocence being the vaccine."
"Tha'ts one way to put it..." Lena muttered.
"But it's not. After noticing that there's very little differences between a normal person and a noah I checked my own blood, even with innocence the differences are so minor the physical changes are beyond what they should be." Ming-Yue spoke brightly.
"Yep hes complex's brother..." Kanda cut in causing Lavi to laugh.
"Complex?" Ming-Yue questioned lightly.
"Gege is kinda off the deep end when it comes to wanting to protect me due to what happened... its embarrassing..." Lenalee pouted her boyfriend leaning down to kiss her cheek.
"It's both amusing and annoying, Koumi acts like a child but he is smart the issue for the majority is he rarely uses his brain and the few times he dose he spends it making robots that always end up malfunctioning." Lavi explained calling Timcampy over the golom calmly showing off a collage of failed robots and the worst incidents in regards to the eldest of the Lee siblings.
"He really does look like me … that's utterly terrifying." Ming-Yue muttered staring at the images.
"So whats it like growing up with mom?" Lenalee asked.
"I didn't get her full time... Lullubell sneaked me into an orphanage and helped hide me from the others the only noah who know of my existence other then Lullu and mom is Wisely. Mom's over protective and constantly stayed in touch and I grew up calling Lullubell my aunt, Wisely on the other hand, taught me as much as he could he was the one to suggest becoming a vet to make it easier on mom. Before hand the only way she could visit was via waiting for a report of an exorcist being close and being sent to kill them Lullubell would then visit and organize for me to meet Mom there. Mom would then give me the innocence to hide rather then breaking it but several times it would just explode in her hands."
"Happens... Every so often the innocence if away from warmth too long can start to freeze this causes them, When their sync level drops or it comes in contact with someone who is the polar opposite to its host such as one with noah blood. It can cause a defense mechanism where it fakes shattering only to be carried in the wind until it can latch on to something warm that can contain its power." Allen murmured entering the room half asleep, keeping his eyes closed as he sat down next to Kanda snuggling into the man's side.
"Really?"
"Yeah, It's how parasite types can be born with innocence. Sometime's the innocence gets breathed in it can stay dormant crystallized waiting until if can be genetically passed down, in the case of women it slowly insures that the child will be its acomedator, but it's rough on the mother the innocence leaks its power in small burst threw out the child's development fusing with it." Allen started with a yawned Kanda gently warping a lone arm over his moyashi.
"You mean parasite type's ?" Lavi lightly questioned looking at his friend.
"Yes Lavi, but there's like tiers, that one is that one is called Natural parasite, then theirs Effected parasite is case like the boy when you found me... his body had fused with innocence in the middle of the pregnancy unlike a naturals who's always been exposed to the innocence thus they bear no traces of the innocence no birth defects, Effected's born parasite's encounter their innocence while the mother is still pregnant roughly second to third trimester of pregnancy before encountering innocence which then rushes to insure the child will be its acomedator out of fear of being alone."
"two types?" Lenalee this time asked.
"No four, Lena there's four. After Natural and Effected. There is Changed like Krory who was a grown adult before being effected by innocence and lastly Artificial such as Alma, he shouldn't have innocence but they have been forced to have a symbiotic relationship so both the innocence and Alma would survive. Natural, Effected Changed Artificial, then equipment types also have four states but its more complicated... * Yawn* and that's just the physical reactions in regards to its acomedators limits and abilities not in regards to the innocence itself." Allen answered slowly waking up a bit more despite his body need for sleep.
"What about you how to you fit into that." Ming-Yue spoke calmly turning to look at Allen who shivering before turning his silver eyes on to the Chinese young adult.
"I fit all four... I was born with the Heart Naturally, Then clown crown effected my mother third term causing my arm, But then after the Earl I became Artificial and from their all the current innocence has been Changed linking to me as a proxy due to the Heart."
"Artificial?" Ming-Yue pressed lightly.
"I died... so he stuck my innocence and the noah he wanted to save in a sand cat. Unfortunately my innocence and the noah pulled my soul with them into the cat... That was little over two years now. I was born with my innocence and had a second innocence then later a noah soul forced into me as a child. But seeing I died and had my innocence moved from my original body into this one I am completely artificial. I can't even tell if my memories or emotions are Me or If they are an illusion the Heart has created... I feel pain and sorrow, I feel the urge to laugh and cry and I love the same people as my memories said I always did. When I awoke after my death the Earl was in shock he didn't know how or why I still existed cause he didn't try to bring my soul, All he wanted was the noah, one that I suppressed. My innocence sneaked in without him noticing at first then he guessed my innocence is what yanked my soul from where ever it had been and forced me to live."
"He guessed? you mean the Earl didn't know but that's like..." Ming-Yue muttered as Allen reclosed his eyes snuggling closer to Kanda.
"Yeah slim, which is why I doubt it... Innocence when with an acomedator often mimic's, It's owner slowly merging with its goals and whims coping its owner's memories and emotions and reflecting them back to anyone who touches it. It is that bond that makes them loyal to their exorcist and why people suffer 'the Fall' when they betray it. They fall because they hate themselves and wish their own death for betraying everyone but at the same time they want to live its that duality that tears rift and thus kills them."
"Which makes you think your current self is just the residual energy that your innocence is keeping stored with in it... Allen that is really dark..." Lavi whispered at the painful glimpse into what Allen had been struggling with alone for so long, some more of the pain his 'nephew' had been trying to hide behind his warm smiles.
"After the Earl's confusion I pleaded to the noah in me and my innocence if they knew why. Both my noah and my innocence had no clue. They where stumped all they knew was they didn't want to live without me and fought against the earl's attempt to move them into this current form, Neah said it may be because they didn't want to live without me... My noah once had a brother who adopted me and raised me thus my Noah is also my uncle, My innocence has always been with me I've always considered it to be my family." Allen explained for the younger Lee.
"How do you know that the Earl transferred everything to your current self why not the other way around?" Ming-Yue asked slightly changing the topic.
"He showed me... the first time I tried to run away in my new state he locked me in a room with what was left..." Allen cringed as the memory flashed in his eye causing tears starting to fall barely noticing Kanda's gentle kisses cuddling him closer. As a warm hand ran threw his hair as Lenalee took charge removing herself Lavi and her baby brother from the hotel vouching to go after the innocence for the night.
"Shh Tenshi it's ok shh I'm here..." Kanda attempted to soothe.
"He had everything lined up on a shelf like a trophy, aside's one thing and oh god Kanda I never want to even go near that place again..." Allen sobbed trembling like a leaf despite the reassuring warmth of his lover.
"One thing was missing? Shh you don't have to say more it your not up to it. I love you don't hurt yourself in reliving those nightmares."
"My heart..." Allen muttered.
"What?"
"Tyki... The Earl gave the jar that held my heart to Tyki for trying to run away the first time." Allen broke sobbing harder Kanda's eyes widening as he mentally worked the sorrow filled words.
The sick bastard's on seeing Allen trying to flee before they could drug or chain him, locked him in with his corpse and handed the most fragile organ that once powered and supported Allen's every movement. His heart, his physical heart given not to his beloved but to the monster who tormented him, raped him, and finally killed him. Allen's heart couldn't be given away because in his lovers eyes it was already in Tyki's possession that bastard carried it around daily as a memento of hurting HIS Moyashi.
"Oh god... Arren shh I know shhh im here your with me... I don't care if your upset one day i'll kill that sonofabitch and take back EVERYTHING they every stole from you so that you have at least peace of mind, shh it's ok I'm sorry Arren your safe..." Kanda whispered Allen's ears twitching as something wet touched them causing him too look up seeing the thick tears falling from Kanda's face understanding the younger's pain. The same pain He and Alma felt when they saw that their corpses where cut into jars and the order threw out all but the brain, some blood and their bones.
The order wanted to pick their brains, cloning the brain then submitting it to elctro shocks to clone the memory's onto the empty cloned brain then after this the rest of their body where developed around the brain and subjected to test and transplanting even DNA splicing before being left in the pools to awaken at their own occur those who didn't wake eventually rotted away a and their entire body's melted back into the pool to allow another try a new test subject replacing the old in the same pod to help the DNA growth and to have the failed attempt's few successes passed on to the newer ones. Alma memorized them all, after Alma found their brains linked to innocence being forced to continue as if they had physically never died despite all their being was a brain plugged into a machine left, cause the older to fight back killing all the clones shredding the brains of their first life burning their files and data before setting about to kill every last scientist.
Alma did it out of sorrow and pain for everything they had been put threw and in doing so learn the truth and where the rest of their remains where, they had each other when finding that nightmare out... to think his sweet moyashi had now felt that same nightmare of an existence followed threw with his rapist taking the organ that the boy cherished the ideology of the most...
"Yuu?" Allen whispered leaning up letting his instincts take over licking away Kanda's tears gently wondering what could drive his pillar of strength to tears.
"Moyashi... Arren, do you recall when I told you I wasn't a virgin either? But not in the same way?" Kanda asked softly causing the nekomimi to nod.
"Yeah?"
"A week before Alma found out the truth the scientists in charge had an idea to further evaluated and up our sync rates to lower resistance on our side when they forced it to try and sync to us... the one behind that I killed myself he was still clinging to life after I knocked Alma out and he started praising me for killing my friend and trying to say he'd reward me... Mugen activated I sent that bastards head flying." Kanda started watching Allen's movements.
"They hurt you ?" came the tiny reply.
"No one of the earlier things they had rather then a pager or alarm to tell Alma and I when we had a test that where basically vibrators...they used them up till Levier came to watch a test, due to his whole anti gay shit luckily the prev's stopped degrading Alma and I like that... four months afterwards Alma found what they kept of out our original body, Only the brain and a bottle of blood. When Alma told me all of this in Mater I wondered where he got the courage to set fire to the remains... and I asked him."
"What did he say?" Allen echoed Kanda smiling gently down at the adult in his arm's.
"The past is not today, rather then mourning and being disgusted or scared at what was once us think of it like a caterpillar that life is gone. It's already been mourned we have no attachments left to it, if we burnt it we wouldn't feel any pain because like a butterfly we've already flown away."
"How do you know how to say exactly what will sooth away all my pain and still manage to drive me up the wall out of both irritation and desire?" Allen hissed lightly with a small smile.
"Beside your forgetting the biggest point I already owned your heart soul and body long before they dared lay a finger on you and even now your still mine." Kanda added pulling Allen up in order to kiss the forever shorter man. "Just like you own me."
"There were so many times I began to doubt that, that I lost you. That you'd hate me if you found me like this..." Allen spoke shivering. "Even more so how they played my past against me and twisted it..."
"What do you mean?"
"At one point, Tyki decided to try to mix Neah's powers and use them against me as part one of his sick fantasies. He made a disc worth of songs and played them each song would start a different form of …..."
Kanda blinked laying a soft kiss on Allen's nose to calm him, letting the other snuggle closer focusing on his boyfriend rather then getting mad knowing Allen need to talk need to yet some of his pain be heard in slow doses for his sanity's sake. Noise marie once's sat both of them down and lectured them on their masks the older man going as far as to bring up the others the mask of laughter and the mask of gloom stating that that's the shield they had created and that we were failing everything to hold everything together. Allen's mask of joy and gentleness was freezing him from within willed with tears he refused to cry and so many promises that where causing both confusion and self loathing, where Kanda's own of mask of vexation was burning him at the constant need to hold back to hate to not love or break down and cry.
Both of them hated their pasts and the weakness and sorrow those days had been thus they hide it sealed it and then buried it. However both their pasts seemed to lay in shallow graves despite the layers of stone they had poured over them they constantly came back to haunt them. They both knew and wanted to tell the other to hear it from the source rather then second hand where it could be twisted. Yet they where both the type to relive their pain... to explain it they had to relive it to suffer the pain and it broke them to do so, which was why Allen was far stronger then Kanda, his little moyashi always fought to try and explain to tell him.
"Allen if you want I can show him..." Neah spoke causing the pair to jump.
"FUCKING KAMI don't do that!" Kanda hissed jumping nearly six feet.
"Sorry I didn't realize you two where alone, I just 'felt' Allen's pain and when I mentally asked the innocence the told me the situation. My offer still stands I can show what happened threw the ark if you don't want to say it Allen." Neah spoke trying to calm the pair down as well as trying not to grin at their reactions.
"Threw the ark?" Kanda raised an eye brow not even question the ghost's appearance.
"Eyes are the doors to the soul when forgetting you lock its door, one of the arks ability's one that is more mine than Allen's is to use an ark door as a key hole into the imprisoned memory like watching a video recording. In entering the ark door it will place you both living it from the outside this is what I did to you three on seeing Allen but as he was sleeping Allen didn't materialize to stand by watching." Neah explained to Kanda waiting to hear his nephews decision.
"Thank you..." Allen finally spoke nodding at his uncle as Kanda hugged him.
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((AN- Sorry for such a long gap between my last post and this one and also for it being so short, Since Supernova I also attended the Sydney Ozcomic con and was able to Meet and get the signatures of Road (supernova) and also the English voices for the Earl and Allen. Along with the two events I like many other fan fiction writers take tafe and I have a teacher who has flunked my entire class and thus all 30 of us have to repeat the course next year repeating all the work we have done this year. To make matters worse is I am currently suffering Writer's block this work has been sitting un touched with me wanting to actually write the memory's threw the ark since just after my last post but sadly althought I know where I wish to go I cant seem to find the words the write them. Thus technically this is an Unfinished chapter... However I wanted to give everyone a gift for Christmas and I hope you enjoy Like in the case of my belief that Hevlaska is Allen's mother I have often belived that Lenalee and Koumi aren't orphans and that one parent may be a Noah.
Songs used in this Chapter are as Followed -
I Hate Everything About You- Three Days Grace.
I Hate You- Sick Puppies.
My Past Is Not Today- Rebecca Shoicet.
Tears To Shed- Danny Elfman.
MERRY XMAS HAPPY HANUKKAH and a MAGICAL YULE!))