Chapter 8

The abandoned cabin that Amanda and the Rowdy 3 were living in wasn't exactly luxury accommodations, but Farah was looking forward to sleeping in a real bed that night. Plus, the fact that there were other experienced fighters under the same roof made her breathe easier than she had in ages. As much as she loved both Todd and Dirk, after much training they had become almost competent in a fight. She opened the door to the room she was using and saw Todd curled up in a fetal position on the bed.

"Todd!" She cried as she rushed to his side.

"I'm fine." He said in a pained voice.

"You don't look fine." She replied.

"Just indigestion." He said.

Farah glared at him. "I don't believe you."

"Have you seen what we eat? I'm amazed this hasn't happened sooner."

His attempt at a joke wasn't going to distract her.

"You're having an attack, aren't you?"

"Just a tiny one. I've got it" he said as he attempted a disarming smile, which, in his state, came across more like a grimace.

"I'm calling the Rowdies." She said.

"No!" he cried. "Don't do that!"

"Why?" she asked.

"When they drain the energy, it doesn't just take the attack. It takes backed up psychic energy too. I need to have as much as possible tomorrow when and Amanda and I do our thing."

"Which is what, exactly?" asked Farah.

"I don't know." Todd admitted. "I asked her to explain it and she literally said, 'we're using crystals and shit.' I gave up trying to understand it." He winced again and wrapped his arms around his middle.

Farah put her hands on her hips. "And this means you can't have some relief tonight?"

Todd nodded. "I swear this is the mildest one I've had in two months. It's probably because Vogel took so much energy earlier today. It hurts, but it's manageable. I don't feel like I'm dying."

Farah's brain was going into overdrive trying to decide what action to take. Any of the Rowdies could neutralize the attack in a moment and give him relief. Even though he said it wasn't bad, she could see the pain on his face. He was terrible about trying to tough through things he should not. And what if it accelerated? What if the attack changed in an instant and suddenly turned deadly? On the other hand, what if he was right and he needed this stored psychic energy the next day and the draining left him unable to complete the insane plan they were attempting? Could they all die because Todd didn't push through his attack? But what if the energy the Rowdies drained from him was just enough to power them to do their part of the job and that was what would help them win their fight against Blackwing? Various scenarios went rapid fire through her mind. She shook her head and tried to clear her thoughts. She looked at Todd's face and made the decision to trust his judgement and respect his wishes. "Is there anything I can do?"

Todd hesitated, then said "Do you mind keeping me company?"

Farah sat on the edge of the bed. "Is it safe to touch you?"

"Yeah. Just avoid the midsection. That's where the broken glass is."

Farah winced. She didn't know how he kept going with all this. Farah reached over and put her hand on his cheek. He attempted a shaky smile. She pulled her legs up on the bed and laid on her side facing him. "Give me your hand."

Todd managed to pull his right hand away from clutching his gut. Farah took it and began massaging pressure points.

"I know it's hard, but try to relax as much as possible. Remember how much that helped the last time you had a mild attack?"

He nodded. "So, the hand thing is to help me relax?"

"That and distract you. Never underestimate the numbing power of distraction. Focus on your hand. Feel the pressure of my fingers. Keep your breathing slow and steady. Four counts to breathe in, eight counts to breathe out."

Todd closed his eyes and began timed breaths.

"You know," said Farah "it's funny. When I first met you, you were so sad. Like the weight of your life was just crushing you. You didn't seem to have much to live for. And now here we are, months later, with your life exponentially more difficult and I swear you seem more alive then you ever did then."

"Yeah." He said "I was miserable. Honestly, if I wasn't trying to support Amanda, I'm not sure I would have had anything to live for. And even with that, really I was just trying to make up for all the horrible things I did. She was suffering because of my mistakes. She couldn't afford treatments because I used all that money being an idiot in my 20s. She'd confide in me and I'd pretend to understand. I felt like I at least owed her that. But the guilt was killing me. At least now it's out. No more secrets. Even with all the stuff going on, I actually am better than I was. Especially now that I know Amanda is ok."

"I'm worried about this plan." Said Farah. "Too many variables and no one seems to be able to fully explain it despite my many, many attempts to get them to clarify. Plans like this are amateurish and dangerous and do not adequately equip assets or properly prepare for the opposition."

"You mean like our 'take Lydia and the dog to a time traveling device we don't understand and is a little busted and hopefully use it right so that after it kills them it will unkill them and set it right?' plan?"

"Yeah," said Farah "I wasn't a fan of that one either."

"Worked out pretty well though." He said.

"I certainly can't argue with the results." She looked over at Todd. "How do you feel?"

"Better." He said "It's almost gone. It's just the shadow of the pain now."

"That's a surprisingly poetic was to describe it."

"Yes well, I am a musician you know."

Todd entwined his fingers with hers.

"I'm worried about tomorrow." She said.

"I've been worried every day since this mess started."

Farah shook her head. "But this is different. This is bigger and there are more moving parts and…" she trailed off.

"And you and I will be split up." He finished.

She nodded. Todd squeezed Farah's hand and said, "I realize it's stupid, but I wish I was going to be with you on your part of the mission. I know, it's not like you need me to protect you. And honestly you would probably spend the whole time keeping me from getting myself killed. But I like to be close to you. To be able to see that you are ok."

"Me too." She said.

"Yeah, but the difference is that you could actually save me."

"You've saved my life before."

"And you've saved mine about a billion more times."

"We're not keeping score. Let's just say we'd both be dead without the others heroic actions."

Todd smiled. "That's very generous of you."

"I get very sentimental before I go into battle."

Farah smiled back, but the look on Todd's face told her he wasn't buying it.

"What is it?" he asked.

She paused. She didn't want to say it out loud, but she also realized that Todd knew her too well to simply pretend that things were alright, so she decided to be honest. "It's just that this is insane. And terrifying. And every cell in every part of me is screaming that this is not the way to do this and that I won't be able to do what I need to do for my part and that you and Amanda still aren't sure what all you need for your part and who even knows what the Rowdies need or can do or even are or whatever and Dirk needs to not die and possibly do some sort of strange psychic thing like he does that seems pointless until it saves our asses and…" She felt the explanation turning to word vomit in her mouth. She closed her eyes and did her best to center herself. After a few deep breaths, she opened her eyes and said, "I'm afraid of failing you. All of you. I'm the one with the tactical experience and I don't feel capable of using that to the best of my ability. That scares me. What if you, any of you, are hurt or killed because I didn't get us as ready as we could be? What if I fail? What if my failure causes us all to fail?"

Todd squeezed her hand. "I forget."

"Forget what?"

"Forget that you don't see what I see. That you have been a rock and an anchor and by far the most competent and trustworthy person I've ever met, and you still can't see it. You still see yourself through that filter that used to define you. If there is one thing in this plan that doesn't scare me, it's you."

She looked up from their clasped hands and into his blue eyes. Her mind was swirling with words trying to explain how much what he had said meant to her, but she couldn't seem to make them form actual sentences to express aloud. So instead, she just said "Thank you."

They stared at each other a moment, and then they both leaned in and kissed. It was slow and deliberate and soft.

"Hey Todd, I want to ask you about…"

Amanda burst into the room and froze as she saw the two of them kissing on the bed. They immediately pulled away and Todd blushed slightly.

"Um, hi, Amanda. What is it you need?"

"Nothing." She said, still a bit shocked by what she walked in on. "See you in the morning. Put a tie on the door next time." She said as she shut the door behind her.

Dirk was walking to the back bedroom when he literally crashed into Amanda. Dirk completely lost his balance and landed butt first on the floor.

"Sorry." Said Amanda as she helped him up. "Though I'll warn you, don't go back there."

Dirk raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yeah… Todd and Farah are having some 'private time', you could say."

"Oh good! They made up!" Dirk said cheerily. "Todd was having a bit of a hard time accepting love and was pushing Farah away and nearly botched the whole thing, but I gave him a talking to and it must have helped if you walked in on something worth warning me away from."

Amanda blinked. "Wait, how long has this been going on?"

"About a week, I think. What day is it again? Anyway, they confessed their feelings for each other after Todd almost died during my rescue."

"Todd almost died?"

"Oh yes. He was stabbed rather violently. It was all very dramatic."

"Stabbed?!"

"Right here." Dirk said as he gestured to a place on his stomach. "It was awful. We couldn't believe he pulled through."

"He seems fine now." Said Amanda.

"Yes. Your friends from another dimension put him in a healing pool. Saved his life again I dare say."

"How do you know they are my friends?" she asked.

"Everything is connected. We found them while looking for you. They'd been exploited by Blackwing already, which is why they were so rough with us initially. But they had talked to you, hadn't they? They knew your plan. And you told them you were trying to find someone like you. Someone who had pararibulitis. They could somehow sense that in Todd, so they patched him up and sent us on our way, presuming that we were headed towards you and your plan to save the worlds."

"You scare me sometimes." Said Amanda as she pushed past him and walked towards the couch.

Dirk watched her sit heavily and put her head in her hands.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he moved closer to her.

"It's just… I was so angry with Todd. I told him… I said things I regret. But I called him and he was coming for me and I was so sorry for everything I said, and then he just screamed. I had no idea what was happening to him. And when he didn't find me, and I couldn't find him, I thought he was dead. I mean, I hoped he was alright, but I was pretty sure it was just me unable to let go."

She paused, and Dirk cautiously sat beside her on the couch.

"Then the Rowdies came back and told me he was alive and I was relieved and angry and happy and sad. I mean, I wanted him to be alright, but why couldn't he find me? He could always find me. Though I guess he eventually did… And I was still mad at him! I mean, he lied to me and our parents. And I was mad at myself for what I had said. And I was in the middle of this plan that could fix things. That could stop Blackwing and maybe make us all safe again. And I figured he would be fine with you and Farah watching out for him. Mostly Farah. No offense."

"None taken." Said Dirk.

"Anyway, I thought if I did this, then when I saw him again I could tell him that I did something right. That he'd be proud of me and we'd forgive each other and we'd go home and tell Mom and Dad we aren't dead."

"That can still happen." said Dirk "Only now, Todd is a part of the plan."

Amanda took a deep breath and looked up at Dirk. "Did he really almost die?"

Dirk nodded. "But he didn't."

"I know, it's just… real all of a sudden. He almost died and got a girlfriend and developed a psychic disease and I was somewhere else. I guess I wanted him to wait safely in a box until I came home from my adventure."

"Yes, but you get to be in each others adventures now."

Amanda paused. "What if my plan gets him killed? Or Farah? Or you? It was one thing when I was planning this with a stranger in mind."

"And the Rowdy 3." Dirk added.

"They're pretty unkillable." Said Amanda.

"It's a good plan." Said Dirk.

"Do you even understand it?" asked Amanda.

"No, but I can feel that it's a good plan."

Amanda shook her head, but she smiled. Dirk had missed her smile.

"I should get some rest." She said as she rose from the couch.

"Me too. Oh, and Amanda,"

She paused and looked at him.

"He's forgive you for what you said. He really believes he deserved it. And all he's thought about is finding you and making things right."

A look that resembled both sadness and relief washed over her face. "Thanks, Dirk. It's good to have you back."

"Likewise. Always a pleasure, Amanda. Goodnight."