"Hey, Mr. Andy!"

"You're too lenient, man!"

Lenient? I thought these three already get humiliated enough. I mean, they nearly killed a legendary detective in accident! Come to think about it, wasn't that boy's the one who said something about worshiping me because i survived Ran's superkick without even blacked out for a second?

"Yeah! I mean, you can get the juicy details from them, like anything! Having your head nearly wrecked for a prank was no fun, man."

"Details, huh?" I said with wiggled eyebrows, obviously understood the possible double entendre. Oh, Ran, you already knew me well, and so why you still felt disgusted by me pretending? "Well, while i know how intriguing to get such details from these fine ladies, i'm more than twice older than any of you, so it would be improper at best, so frankly, no explicit contents, boys. I'm not interested."

The male students groaned, both in mockery and honesty. I couldn't blame them; These three were even more beautiful in person, and considered the fact that plenty people in-universe already telling stuffs that put the three quiet high on attractive chick lists, i wouldn't blame them for had...creative fantasy regarded them once or twice.

Of course, when it involved groping and other heinous acts, that was a whole another story where no one would blame Ran from knocking them out hard.

And it would be yet another matter if i wasn't trapped in a middle-aged man. For one, Ran's long legs would sent my libido off the chart. Mmm...

"And besides, i can give all of you the better stuffs. Anyone have Kudo's phone number?"

The whole class became engulfed in ruckus as their immediate response. I grinned, Sera grinned, and Ran had a confused look on her face that basically screamed 'priceless'.

"Well," I turned around before i took one of Ran's palm into my own. "We need a good photo op for this, right?"

"Eh?"

"OOOH! I got this, sir!"

When the time came to make fun of Ran and Shinichi, Sonoko's brain always worked fast. Girl already took like 5 photos of this event that was designed solely to provoke this class's greatest mind. And it seemed that Sera also took her own photographs. The more the merrier.

"W..what are you doing, Mr. Andy? And how did you know that Shinichi's my best friend? I don't recall myself talking about him in the case where we met for the first time!"

And Ran's brain always worked at the tenth percent of its usual capacity whenever it involved Shinichi, shrunken Detective, and a romantic plot. Jeez, i wonder if there was any reason for why this manga felt dragged much longer than necessary?

"Everybody knows who Shinichi Kudo's, Ran-san." I said after i released her soft palm, which was on the line with her overall smooth profile. Only her hardened dorsum that showed her expertise in Karate. Perhaps she's also being empowered by spiritual power in a way? "The children of two extraordinary parents, Kudo Yuusaku, my favorite crime series author, and Kudo Yukiko, one of the greatest young actress in her active years, and also your mother's rival and friend from High School. It'd be easy to say that you two are childhood friend, and a strong one in that, since for some reasons Shinichi decided to live by himself in Kudo mansion instead of following his parents to America."

"Ah...i see." Seems like Ran did not know what else to say.

"From what little things i've read about him, he could become the greatest detective in modern history. One particular story about him, however, really made me respect him on a whole new level. To put it short, Shinichi once managed to capture the killer of a locked room case inside a plane, all because he saw the killer had to use her left arm when she went to get her luggage, because the hidden weapon, which was the right bra's wire, started to poke her. And did you know that crime scene was his first case ever?"

The class once again get overwhelmed. Many whispered things and other stuffs that praises Shinichi, some even told things like they did not even know that Shinichi's really that smart.

And of course, Mrs. Mouri blushed badly over this. That bra talk was really embarrassing, i have to admit it. Not to mention the fact that the killer really risked it; her underwired bra could set off the metal detector, created an evidence against her.

"So," It was Sera's turn to speak now. "If it was you in Kudo's place, how you'd handle it?"

"That depends on the circumstances. What about yourself, eh..."

"Sera Masumi. And if you ask me, i don't think i would be able to solve it myself."

"Well for me, i'd say that i may caught the killer used her off hand, but i may register it as something inconsequential instead that will be forgotten in shorter time than goldfish's memory. Maybe i would need another reminder, or even Ena-"

"Ena?"

"My wife." I said, with a butterfly feeling in my stomach. Seemed like sometimes, my old self really liked to talk about her. "The nicest girl from my High School, quiet bossy, and even more attentive than me. She would've picked up something more from the luggage scene, or at least, mentioned it to me at one time. Also shamefully, one of the worst liar in this world, very emotional and often reacts before thinking. Could be a good detective if she wanted to, but definitely bad investigator, what with her fear of blood."

"That's one way to describe your wife, sir."

"Yeah, but i love her." I simply stated at the slightly chuckling class. "Anyway, the other way i can see something wrong with the killer, is by interacting with her; i'm a big man, it would be awkward for her to maneuver me so i won't get poked by her bra wire. I became suspicious of her, i began to trail her, and the rest is history."

"You make it sounds like a more difficult case than Shinichi did..."

"Is he a big fan of fictional detectives? Because no offense, but in a simple suicide case, where there's really no subtle clues, those guys would've caught the wrong buttler." Some people who perhaps knew a bit about cliches chuckled a little, and it seemed that one of the sleuth, Sera also a bit amused. "I mean, i made it clear that i would suspected the right woman just from her strange behavior! What did he say when he revealed the little luggage incident?"

"He said something like it was very obvious clue, even though he needed to confirm that bras do have...wire." Ran finished it with a very embarassed blush.

"Lady, you somehow picked the greatest Sherlock-wannabe in the world as your best friend." Everybody in the class laughed hard, especially Sonoko who used to have a rather low opinion on Shinichi. Meanwhile, Ran seemed like she wants to dissapear. "Well, what is it then? The confident smirk on his handsome face when he solved the riddles, the way he dribbled and fooled so many opposition in his soccer days, or is it something special you two have as childhood friend?"

"Wh-what?"

"Shinichi. You like him, don't you?"

"A-ARE YOU CRAZY?" Ran bursted out at me. God, the gigantic angry head gag was real. "Why would i love such a jerk, Sherlock-obsessed freak like him?"

"Well, this Sherlock geek wannabe once tried to solve the heart of someone..."

"But alas..."

"Not even he knew..."

"How to deduce the heart of a woman one likes..."

Ran was flabbergasted (and so red!) as she realized what her friends just said.

The paraphrasing of what basically amounted to Shinichi's confession in London.

"Wow."

"Is his tongue felt good?"

"SONOKO!" She yelled at her best friend, who been whistling conspicuously for a while when Ran's literally still.

Oh, Shinichi, you missed so much today.

-dc-

"ACHOO!"

"Conan-kun, are you fine?"

"Eeh, i'm fine, Ayumi-chan." Said Conan with hanging snot that was left alone for a while. Haibara's disgusted look made him realized the matter that need to be blown off.

"You sure? You looked so sleepy this morning. Mother always asked me if i'm fine when i feel a little light in the head." The biggest kid in the group, Genta added.

Idiots. I just can't sleep last night because i feared that Andy guy would do something in retaliation. As if the revelation that he definitely has knowledge about medicine wasn't enough, Professor also claimed that Andy has connections with Interpol. I'm literally fighting against someone who's much more than me in nearly everything. Damn it!

As if she's on prompt, Haibara showed that evil smile that definitely spoke of her satisfaction from seeing the misery of Conan. This made Mitsuhiko who has been in sideline experienced his first Schrodinger event, albeit this one was between the realm of spooky and even more attraction.

"Mmm! I'm fine, you two." Conan reassured them before he walked out of the room.

Of course, the little detective sometimes just couldn't wait long enough before situation forced him to take the antidote. Which's why he thanked for the existence of Social Media so he could act like his grown-up old self when he felt depressed by it. He also thanked the anonymity of the Webs, and even he had to reluctantly thanked for the situation around him; dude won't even search if there was exist a Shinichi account in anything unless something prodded him strongly, and Ran used an old phone, so being caught up at something by his caretakers was basically nil. Hell, no one in the school knew (except for his fellow shrunken genius, of course) about him having two phone, so there's nothing risky about checking the phone in the locker for like once in a while, and as lousy as he was in pretending as normal kid, he definitely knew when to be deceptive and sneaky. In short, the riskiest thing that could happened's that he once again needed to protect his identity by pulled some tricks again.

Hehehe. Wonder if Sonoko uploaded something sexy about Ran this week.

Ah. So that was the reason for him to sneak out. Little horn dog.

If there was something asides from her cozy trips and vacations (which Shinichi could get from his parents and Kogoro's fame anyway) that was unarguably good for Shinichi, was her preferences for daring and raunchy swimsuits, and her tendencies to drag Ran for her shenanigans in fashion.

Letting out a little cute-but-evil giggle from his mouth, the small boy tiptoed to put the key into his locker's lock. As soon as he got the door open, he immediately snatched the phone, all with a little droll that came out of his little mouth.

Huh? PM from Sonoko?

This was rather unusual for Shinichi, as he was not that close to Sonoko. Still, he did not waste any more seconds to open the message, as he knew Sonoko would've only talk to him whenever she had something about Ran.

Yo, Shinichi! Ready to get your girl back?

And as soon as he scrolled down (while wondering what the hell was Sonoko talked), he found the answer.

And he did not like it one bit.

Andy, you leech! Old girl snatcher, filthy animal, adulterous-

And after a hundred of insults spatted in his head, with every insults getting more... creative, the now very furious kid threw the poor phone back into its place, and slammed the door back, not even cared about locked it back.

He had to thank Ai later, who locked the door back as one of the only two eyewitness regarding this unusual event. Said other witness was a friend of her who got scared thanks to Conan's uncharacteristic outburst.

-dc-

"Now this maybe come out as a not-so-surprise for you, but i actually modeled my catchphrase after yours."

"Really? You mean, the solving case thing inspired your catchphrase, Case Closed?"

"M-mm!"

"Does that means that you're a fan of mine, Sera-san?" I asked her. This information meant that whatever i did with this world, it didn't matter anyway since my character's prominence proved that this is some sort of alternate universe where my old self had quiet of an influence here.

"Actually, i like James Mueller the most. No bullshit, no-nonsense, non-partisan," I nearly choked out of shock at this. The two FBI Director in my world became an amalgam character? "But he did not have a good catchphrase, so i look at his most prized case, which was incidentally a case where he worked with many other people, which has you as one of the main investigator. The case of flight 672, where you two found out that three mad self-styled prophets as the killer."

"I see." That's strange. I did not recall anything about working with anyone named Mueller, let alone. Why would my old self locked away this particular memory? "I think it's cool for you to be influenced by one of the craziest case in my career."

"Yeah. And you know what's cool? You, Densus 88, CIA, and Mr. Mueller, cracked down the false prophet that just happened to be advocating around Southeast. Everybody got the right guys. But you two heard something bad." Said Sera, now the sole class beauty that still doing discussion to me. I did not know what happened to Ran and Sonoko. Maybe Ran still chased her best friend? Or maybe they got detention for disrupting other class? Like i would know. Hell, i didn't even know that Sonoko was on a bet about yelling this stuffs. Well, i guess this's what happened when Ran found out first "The guys tortured the still alive terrorists, demanding to know the rest of their whereabouts. Then you two suddenly barged in to the torture room, demanded the terrorists to be left alone, and blocked the room by the sheer size of you two. The inhuman treatments discussed by Senates, Mueller got nominated as Nobel Prize winner, and your reputation soared, even if not all of it positive, as it also cemented your position as...cowboy investigator. What do you take of it?"

"Our own people beating the tar of crooks when they finally caught them, because these burglars slashed their victims for no reason." I said as i slumped. Weight fell into my back like a hundred tons of brick. I think now i knew why i tried to suppress this particular memory. "I turned the torture leader into vegetable in agony for 24 hours, because he tortured the lowest rank members that won't know any jackshit, and he tried to shoot me, with his squad members. When the good people had to take such extreme measure to get his point across, that was when both sides were admittedly wrong. We're wrong for failed to keep our upper moral by our incapability to prevent such cases appear, and they failed to recognize any flaws and mistakes that would make them realized any wrongdoing of them in the first place."

"Pardon me sir, but i heard something similar about this situation regarding the evil. Wasn't there's a study about how more stupid someone is, the less they capable to evaluate their own position?"

"Yeah. The Dunning-Kruger effect. That's my point. There are people who so stupid, they don't even know that they're stupid in the first place. There's a chance that the main propagator of chaos are not council of supreme masterminds, but idiots who couldn't even remember their real causes, let alone knew the real consequences of their violence." There was crickets. Damn.

I knew i should stop, and screw around again, but i felt like letting off some steam. I did have some issues after i read those read conspiracies, but this one...i felt like i'm just a big fuel to the real Andy. "I'm serious. There was a guy who tortured policeman and caused one of the biggest chaos in football stadium. When the policeman caught him, turned out that he didn't even know the Pancasila." Now that was interesting. Some people actually laughed a little. Seems like this school has curriculum about foreign countries. "Five most important bullet points in my country, and this guy couldn't recall all of them. Won't you be embarrassed when your anarchist leader turned out to not even know any last three Prime Minister?"

"You can't make this up."

"No, i can't. That's the point. Sometimes, reality can be stranger than fiction. This's one of those case, but you can explain it by one thing: That man, while being a total idiot, had something that made him managed to do such chaos. He may has a louder voice than anyone else, he might already had good approval from his fellow football fans..."

"Or his stupidity actually helped him to become a good propagator."

"That's a nice analysis, Sera." I said as i looked at her, just like everyone else. "As expected from you. Why you think so?"

"Well, as you said before, the more stupid someone is, the more incapable for him to evaluate his own actual competency. So in this case, he's so stupid, he actually didn't fear that he'd look or sound stupid-"

"So he managed to convince a lot of people to cause mayhem and brutalize officers!" Said one of the student like she just got an eureka moment.

"Now all of you got it." I smiled at the whole class. "When i'm talking about stupid, i actually only talked about some of his ability, not all of it. You can become a good construction worker, but bad at understanding why violence needs to be avoided, or a great engineer who don't understand anything about politics. The provocateur maybe bad at many thing, but he's certainly good at talking to people. And unlike normal fools, he ended up overestimates himself instead of refraining to do stupid thing because he's, well...too stupid to has the necessary humility to be stupid."

"So...is that explain for why there are so many unhinged people that also very good at their job?"

"Sort of. Most people have decency to be a normal, law abiding citizens. These people are either suffered from personality disorder like narcissism or being blinded by their cause because of their insufficient ability."

"Is that a precaution to be careful against the loudest speaker, like in politic and mass marches?"

"Personally, that was an advice so you guys won't fooled yourself into thinking you're awesome at something before you're ready, but that work too."

-dc-

"WAHAHAHAHA! Perfect, Mr. Andy. You really helped so much in promoting my- i mean, Our series!"

"I did?" Hey, it's not like being detective guaranteed you immunity to be wrong. I couldn't recall anything that

"That's right, my friend. Your photo, which challenged Kudo Shinichi for a Meitantei battle by holding the hand of Mouri Kogoro's precious daughter, really went viral in multiple social medias!" Woah, really? I guess that's what happened when a challenge also involved a subplot of sweet, still unrecognized love by two very attractive personality. "Buddy, i appreciate this free advertisement, what with news promoting it as 'a stunt by Andy, The Great Detective from Indonesia, as a part of his documentary show, a spinoff of Suzuki Jirokichi's own mega documentary'! I knew you're not actually meant to make it viral-I mean yeah, i know how you'd like to make this rivalry more personal initially-, but you see the greater good for it and ended up leaked it using Sonoko and her friends account. Once again, i really appreciate that."

"Well if you insist..." That should be the last time i trusted any High-School Teenagers to not leak anything. Especially when that teenagers involved Sonoko.

"But i must say, it's quiet suicidal to do that if that was me. I mean, don't get offended, but if there's the best man you can find to assassinate someone, it'd be the best investigator as well. You know about that Natsuki girl, right?"

Yeah. The tomboy detective who killed the detective that wrongfully framed her friend. "Don't worry. I can assure you that Shinichi doesn't like killing in the slightest, and also, i don't recall any framed friend of him, let alone ME framed one of his close associate."

"I'm not talking about Kudo, son, i'm talking about Mouri's father!" Said the old man, sounded like one of those very angry CEO right now. I knew it's more than the shrimp. "You know how a loudmouth like him can be overprotective for his little daughter when someone eyed her wrong!"

"Now now, Mr. Suzuki. I can assure you that he won't kill me either-"

"Yeah, but he can do Judo! One of the better practitioner in fact!"

"And i'm the most durable Detective. Also, bird of prey see everything." And if i could survive that super karate kick without any minor concussion, then i could survive a Judo Slam as well. But that accidental assault part'll remain as the class secret.

"I thought that was Big Brother who sees everything?"

"Do i look like a fascist?"

"Haha, no. No offense, right?"

"No offense. See you later, Jirokichi-san."

Ah, just in time. That beef delivery really took its time well.

"Coming..."

And just as i opened the door, i closed it thrice as fast.

Because it wasn't the deliveryman.

It was a soccer ball came at me with the velocity of 240 mph

And it smashed me to the ground along with my poor door.

Damn you midget detective.

-dc-

"I got him first! I got him!"

"And you already got one! I'll handle him from now on, so back off, brat!"

"But i still not finished with him!"

"Then let me finish him!"

Assholes! Once you chose who will fight with me, i'll end him first brutally before i finish the other with whatever remains of the earlier!

That is, if i could get these two off my back first...Oh, my precious back...

"That's enough, you two!"

"OWIE! Ran-neechan!"

"Ran-OUCHIE!"

"I've told you two that there's no groping and touching, and you still decided to pummel him?"

"But i've seen him looking at you! And he definitely tried to-OW!"

"Bait, Otou-san! BAIT! He wants Shinichi to return so he could challenge him!"

"So it wasn't real? Andy-san really didn't try to seduce you, Ran-neechan?"

"No, Conan-kun! And i'm very disappointed of you! How could you try to assault a man just like that?"

While i definitely grateful about Ran saved my ass (i knew explain things to the Detention Department would be the positive thing to do), i definitely did not appreciate the additional weight from her. "Uh...help..."

"EH! Mr. Andy! I'm so sorry!"

"Euugh...never mind..." I said as i weakly pushed off the door. Why on earth did my friend choose a 250 solid door and weakass door hinges? "Man, this door'll costs a lot."

"That's what you thinking right now- AWW!"

"Quiet, father!"

"Well, can't say i couldn't see why you would be so angry, i mean...there's nothing more precious than your own kids."

"You got that right, brute!"

"Be polite, or no beer for three days."

"Three days?!" As Kogoro came back to his senses on the danger of not being fed by his favorite drink, he stepped into where i stood. He then shook my hand, and uttered a rather half-hearted apology. "Hmph. Sorry, i guess."

"Me too. I won't touch your daughter or immediate family except for any grave situation."

"You'd better make your promise." He simply said, before he turned around to our favorite little detective. "You better apologize too, brat."

Conan bowed to me, but there's something...sinister about this. "So this is all because you want to see Shinichi-niichan, right?"

"That's true."

"I'm sorry, but Shinichi-niichan is a very busy person right now. Unless there's a miracle happen, he wouldn't be able to spare his time to meet someone who just want to test his detective skill."

"Even if it's someone famous like me?"

"He doesn't even considers Uncle as his peer, so why you'd bother."

Ouch. What a burn.

And the imaginary flame behind Kogoro really made this roast more literal.

Wait. Wasn't that could be instituted as a burn for me as well? Fuck you, Conan.

"But what about this? If Mr. Andy can capture Kaitou Kid, or even beat me in solving Kid's next heist, i'll beg Shinichi-niichan to face you, Mr. Andy."

"WHAT?"

"Conan-Kun! Don't tell me you'd risk your life just to challenge Mr. Andy!"

"But Ran-neechan!" The creepy kid act now changed into that ultra-innocent, sugary kiddie act again. Damn, am i the only one who could see it so clearly? I thought i would become slightly more oblivious, but it's still just as obvious as ever, maybe even more since i now had a brain of a super Detective. "I thought people called me Kid Killer, right? I can handle Kid by myself!"

"That's true, but that still doesn't excuse you from doing reckless stuff! You're still a First-Grader, Conan, and Kami know what kind of trick Kid would pull this time! Maybe it'll be too dangerous for even Mr. Andy to survive it!"

"Aaaah, but Mr. Andy's a strong man! Andy-san, you will protect Conan, right?"

"Sorry, kid. But you'll be my rival there."

"Hmph! Andy's a meanie!"

"Just kidding." I said as i ruffled his hair. "I'll be your rival and protector there, Conan."

"Yay!"

"Andy, if you excuse me." Suddenly, Kogoro pulled me over to a room where Ran and Conan wouldn't hear him speak. "I just got this secret testimonies from several associates of the associates of people who got their jewels stolen by Kid, real damning stuffs."

"Shoot."

"It's turned out that there had been people seriously hurt in Kid's heists. As everyone know, love or hate him, Kid will never hurt you." Kogoro pulled out two documents and gave it to me. Turned out they came from very different sources. "The first's from the insurance company that insured Hopper Magic Show. Hopper's troupe was hurt really badly around the time when Kid pulled his heist, some wounds definitely came from being grazed by bullets, not to mention that they were treated days after their injuries happened."

"The show must go on, indeed. But for whatever reason, this seemed more like they tried to cover for Kid."

"Correct. And this one...was photographed by Selizabeth's maid. The original one, as the one they released on public. Diary of Prince Phillip, talked about his best day ever, the day when his mother not treated him coldly anymore."

"Seemed like the day when he decided to never bawled out his eyes again. No wonder they released this part of his diary in public, since "

"But he also said something about, 'scary man in black coat tricked me as friend, and then stomped me so he could get the jewel and kill Kid at the same time.'"

"Think this's the same man?"

"Hopper Magic Show's representative refused to speak, so we don't know for sure," But i do, "But it's crystal clear; Someone's chasing Kaitou Kid for whatever reason, and they're much more dangerous than him."

"A pacifist magician/thief versus several violent mobsters, possibly looking for the same thing. I guess i can figure out which one in the wrong here."

"Oh, bother." Kogoro looked at my statement like it's the wrong thing to say. "Thief like him looking only for attention Andy, i mean, why so grand? Why you'd spent so much time, material and preparations just to steal jewels that you'll return after one night?"

"Why not both? Why won't you enjoy every attention you could get at the time you search for something, especially when you can mimic everyone with 99,5% perfection?"

"Still, a normal thief would've done all his petty heists in discretion."

"Maybe he simply has a different thought in what he called discretion. How did you find these articles, anyway?"

"Oh, these? Well, i just got them from an Interpol agent. He said that he's a big fans and want to see what i thought about it. I'm so honored that they want to see my thought about it. WAHAHAHAHA!"

As i guess.

Another job for me.

-dc-

"See you later, Mr. Andy!"

"Hmph."

"See ya!"

"Good afternoon, everyone. And don't think about the door!" That was my goodbye, before i turned to the object that halted their walking back into their home. "Oh, i guess this is your ball, Conan."

"Thanks, Mr-"

Bingo.

Oh, look at your face now, Conan. I got you in such a wet, sticky situation this time.

Silly Kudo. If you weren't so fueled in hatred, you may not forgotten that i saw your ball coming to my house like a rocket. And you dared to even

"Hey, how did it get here?"

"Oh, he tried to kick the ball at my direction and i tried to hide from it with my door, but i end up destroyed it instead. Silly me and my power."

"Ha! So i really not responsible for that door, right?"

"You wouldn't if you and Conan didn't stomp on it repeatedly." I stated.

Whatever immature face Kogoro showed at me won't be nowhere as priceless as Conan's face, who i still refuse to look away from. He was absolutely appalled at the implications of this. Oh, god, is this what it felt to look at those anime's ridiculous expressions? Because it's delightful. Schadenfreude!

"We'd better go home now, father, Conan."

But Conan still did not even move an inch. So as a good man, of course i had to give him a little push.

"You owe me here...Kiddo."

Alright, i might be too cruel here, but hohoho! Conan, your very confident Detective, could only response by a very robotic nod before he run into Ran and Kogoro. That sight, was definitely something to be adored.

After a day where i got smashed into wall, had a door fell into me, and being stomped by three people, this day turned out to be quiet sweet.

So this fanfiction still continue! Would the author talked about Psyche even more? Or would he considered it as enough for now? What would happen when the hell break loose? Find out next, on Case Solved!

Also, don't you think the whole Sleeping Sleuths's the best case of Dunning-Kruger effect? There was a reason for why Ran as sleeping detective won't work: She'd question how on earth she managed to become as smart as her not-boyfriend because she's a humble girl in the first place. Also, Kogoro's always the loudest in speaking about his false deductions for reasons, you know.

So once again, in short, the worst idiots are the ones who're confident in their idiocy. They're proud in their ignorance because they don't even know how to assess their skill in the first place. People who admit they're stupid at least know the standard of intelligence in said skill. The same can't be said to those who're proud of their mad skillz that actually assessed as one of the worst.