"Rock, meet Bottom. When life ends up breath-takingly fucked, you can generally trace it back to one big, bad decision. The one that sent you down the road to shittsburgh. This, well, this was mine."
Wade Wilson, a man dying of cancer, was strapped on a stretcher and getting rolled into a dimly lit, slightly concerning facility. Of course had seen far worse but…shouldn't there have been, at the very least, some sort of ruse, look-a-like hospital. He knew the Agent Smith clone was shady at best, but still.
He honestly had expected something a bit better.
"Mr. Wilson, nothing warms my heart more than a change of someone else's. You finally hit, 'Fuck it,'" the Agent Smith lookalike greeted with a smile that was likely plastered on with grease.
Wade looked up at him, the gurney slowing so he could speak to him. "Just promise me you'll do right by me. So I can do right by someone else," he said, his words sincere.
All he could think about since he had called the man's number was how Vanessa and Amy would act. He knew Vanessa would worry – she had worried about him so much though, and he hoped she would be able to move on, to find someone else. And Amy, sweet, sweet Amy…he hoped that she found peace as well. She had been so supportive lately, often spending evenings with him while Vanessa was working. Sometimes they would talk about everything they could think of, and sometime they would just be comfortable in silence. It was far different then how Vanessa and he acted together, much less exhausting by any means. It was relaxing really, knowing there was no real pressure to do anything with her.
He hoped he'd be able to see Amy, and Vanessa, again.
The man's "Of course," pulled him out of his somber musings. He felt the gurney start to roll away and, knowing he needed some sort of smile from someone, called back to the man:
"And please don't make the super suit green. Or animated!"
He was rolled into a large room, where other people, his fellow patients, sat on partially covered beds. One woman who he saw had spiked growing out of her back. Another man was on his bed, panting and bleeding. Wade frowned. "This place seems sanitary. My first request is warmer hands."
He was ignored as he was instead placed onto a freezing table and strapped down by not warm hands. "And, Jesus, a warmer table! You should really come up with a safe word fellas. I'm thinking pork and beans."
He started to get unnerved by the lack of response he was getting from anyone. The men left him, and were replaced by a woman with dark hair, large muscles, and a masculine face. She was chewing on a match stick as she pushed Wade's head down and strapped him to the table. "Aren't you a little strong for a lady? I'm calling wang. What's up with the matches? Oral fixation? Or just a big Stallone fan?"
She placed her hand over his mouth and almost looked, well, murderous, but then a male's British voice called out in a clear, if slightly gentle, order, "Patience, Angel." Obeying him, Angel removed her hand. Though she gave the man a disgruntled look. "All in good time," the man said.
Wade frowned and strained his neck to look over at the man. He was wearing a doctor's coat, and was sitting. Balanced on his lap was a salad in a plastic box, clearly store-bought. "Are you here for the turn down service or what?" Wade asked him, hoping that this man might have a sense of humor.
And while the man did crack a smile, it was a very sarcastic one. "We have another talker," he commented lightly.
"I'm just excited about my first day at super hero camp," Wade said with a smile.
He was only mildly surprised when Angel snapped, "Shut the fuck up." She tied a rag over his mouth, causing Wade to make a 'mmph' noise in protest.
From his seat, the British man inspected him. "Mr. Wilson, my name's Ajax. I manage this workshop. My welcome speech used to be filled with euphemisms like, 'This may hurt a little.' 'This may cause you some discomfort.' But I've grown blunt. This workshop is not a government led program. It's a private institution that turns reclamation projects like yourself into men of extraordinary abilities. But if you think super human powers are acquired painlessly, well...I'm injecting with a serum that activates any mutant genes lurking in your DNA. For it to work we need to subject you to extreme stress." As he had talked, he had gotten to his feet and had been preparing something to the side. Wade hadn't been able to see it, despite his attempts to, but he quickly realized what he had been preparing when a IV filled with blue liquid was connected to his forearm. The machine was turned on and the blue liquid headed towards Wade.
"You've heard the whole, make an omelet break some eggs thing, right? I'm about to hurt you, Wade. I was a patient here once myself, you know. The treatment affects everyone differently. It made Angel inhumanly strong. In my case, it enhanced my reflexes, and scorched my nerve endings so I not longer feel pain. And in fact, I no longer feel anything," the man narrated.
Wade had enough. He started to try and say something, but it only came out as incoherent mumblings until Angel took the gag out of his mouth. "Thank you! Thank you. You have something in your teeth. Just in the middle there. Romaine lettuce, or something. It's been bothering me for a long time."
Frowning, Ajax checked his teeth, only for Wade to laugh. "Ha! Made you look. Hey, is Ajax your actual name? Because it sounds suspiciously made up. What is it really? Kevin? Ruth? Scott? Mitch? Dexter? Is it Basil Fawlty?"
Ajax shook his head. "Joke away. The one thing that never survives this place is a sense of humor," he said.
"We'll see about that."
"I suppose we will. He's all yours."
Ajax left, making Wade frown at the man's retreating back. "Oh, come on. You're going to leave me all alone here with less angry Rosie O'Donnell?"
And then Angel punched him in the face, and his head went back against the table.
The facility Wade was in was…not a nice place. He had been put through 'experiments.' Almost all of them, at the very least, bordered on outright torture. Throughout each experiment, which did include waterboarding at one point, Ajax was always, always there. Always narrating in a bored voice.
"This is how it's going to work. Adrenaline acts as a catalyst for the serum, so we're going to have to make you suffer. If you're lucky, your mutant genes will activate and manifest in spectacular fashion. If not, well, we'll have to keep hurting you. In new and more painful ways, each more different than the last. Until you finally mutate. Or die."
During a break in the experiments though, Wade found himself speaking to Cunningham, a man who claimed he resembled a 'worm,' but Wade didn't see it. The two were the only sane people left, as most were either in too much pain to talk, or they were being experimented on.
"Got a bucket list?" Wade asked one day. "I'd really like to light a spliff off of the Olympic Torch."
"Pass it to me right after," Cunningham replied, a ghost of a smile on his face.
"Let's not forget naked tandem base jumping with the WNBA Sacramento Monarchs," Wade put in.
"Anything on my bucket list would involve public nudity," Cunningham admitted, making Wade chuckle – a rare noise in the facility, even from someone like Wade.
"Giving Meredith Baxter Birney a dutch oven."
"No, receiving a dutch oven from Meredith Baxter Birney." There was a pause from Cunningham before he said in a lower, subdued voice, "Making banana pancakes for my kids."
"Amy and Vanessa. I want to see them," Wade said, his thoughts, though he didn't truly know why, focusing more on Amy then on Vanessa. He could practically imagine Amy's face, a bright and wide smile on it.
And then Ajax went and ruined it. "Lovely. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm touched," he commented, causing both men to jump from their seated position as much as they could, considering they were strapped against objects.
"We're just joking," Cunningham said nervously.
Ajax waved his hand. "No, no. It's okay. I encourage distractions. Wouldn't want you giving up on us, now would we?"
Cunningham seemed to shrink into his bed as Ajax took a step towards him. Wade glared at the man's back and called out loudly, "Hey, don't take any shit from him, Cunningham. How tough can he be, with a name like Francis."
"Francis?" Cunningham asked, his brow furrowing.
Francis turned towards Wade, a look of rage on his face. But Wade ignored him. "That's his legal name. He got Ajax from the dish soap. F, R, A, N, C, I, S, oops! I snabbed the dry-cleaning tag off your lab coat. FYI, I could probably get you the super hero discount."
Francis stormed over to Wade and glowered down at him. "You are so relentlessly annoying."
Wade smiled. "Thanks. Never heard that before."
"Why don't you do us all a favor and shut the fuck up? Or I'll sow your pretty mouth shut."
Wade just continued to smile, even in the face of the threat. "Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you. See, here's the problem with round-the-clock torture. You can't really step it up from there."
This time, Francis was the one that smiled. "Is that what you think?"
Wade winced as he was roughly strapped into a glass machine. "If this doesn't unlock your mutation, well...Nothing will. Now, what we're going to do is lower the oxygen concentration in there to the exact point you feel like you're suffocating. If your brain waves slow, meaning you're about to pass out, then we'll turn up the O2. If your heart rate slows, meaning you're able to catch your breath, we'll turn it back down. And that's where we'll leave you. Right there."
Wade stared at the man, feeling his face drop. "Ugh, I thought you guys were dicks before," He snapped.
"You know the funniest part of all this? You still think we're making you a super hero. You, a dishonorable discharge hook deep in hookers? You're nothing. Our secret, mate, is that this workshop doesn't make super heroes. We make super slaves. We're gonna fit you with a control collar and auction you off to the highest bidder. Who knows what they'll have you do. Terrorizing citizens, putting down freedom fighters. Maybe just mow the occasional lawn," Francis smiled at the way Wade's entire body stiffened at what he had been told.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Wade asked, truly horrified by the man in front of him.
"You're never going home after this. now there's a brave face." Francis pulled back and started to walk towards the edge of the machine, about to pull it down.
"Wait, wait! Seriously, you actually have something in your teeth now."
Shaking his head, Francis started to shove the lid down. "Enjoy your weekend," he said cheerfully.
As the lid closed with seal, Wade struggled fruitlessly against the straps holding him down. "Weekend? Back up, weekend?"
Francis never responded, choosing instead to start the machine. Wade started to choke, his body straining as he fought for air.
When it was darker outside, Wade opened his eyes at one point, gasping for air. He looked into his reflection, expecting to see his familiar face looking back at him. But instead he saw dark red lesions breaking out across his skin. Wade opened his mouth and screamed.
"Did I say this was a love story? No, it's a horror movie."
When Francis came back, he opened the case, turning off the machine. He chortled at Wade and winced. "Fucking hell. Looks like someone lost his shot at homecoming king."
"What have you done to me?" Wade growled at Francis. He would have yelled, he wanted to yell, but his voice was gone from the yelling earlier in the night.
"I've merely raised your stress levels high enough to trigger a mutation," Francis said calmly with a smirk.
"You sadistic fuck!" Wade snapped, glaring as much as he could at Francis.
"I've cured you, Wade. Now your mutated cells can heal anything. It's attacking your cancer as fast as it can form. You know, I've seen some of the side effects before. I could cure them. But where's the fun in that? Now I'm gonna shut you in again Wade. Not because I need to. Because I want to. Ah, well. Go ahead."
He walked away, leaving Wade to glare after him. Angel suddenly appeared in his vision, that match stick still in her mouth. As she leaned over to adjust his straps, she grumbled "You smell like shit." In response, just as Angel moved her head over his, Wade brought his up as violently as he could, head butting her.
She recoiled back and then glared at him. "Mother fucker –" She made to fight him, but then Francis came and pulled Angel back.
"Hey, hey, hey! It's alright! It's alright. I think we owe him that, yeah? Take off. Go on, off you go." Glowering at both Francis and Wade, Angel stalked off.
Shaking his head, Francis went over to Wade and hissed at him. "Quick question. What's my name? Didn't think so." Clearly proud, Francis closed the machine once more.
"Sorry, Francis, my lips are sealed."
He waited, his nose flaring, for it was his only source of air. He tried to be aware of time, but it was hard to monitor. But he was able to see when the sadistic fuckers that were the 'workers' had left. The facility was dark.
It was time.
Wade spit the match out and sent it to his hand. Holding it as tightly as he could he lit it as quickly as he could, struggling to breathe. He threw the match towards the oxygen vent and waited. Just as the oxygen came rushing back into the machine…
The fire hurt. It burned as it the machine, and then the rest of the facility, exploded around him. The machine's explosion had totaled the facility.
For a moment, all he could do was lie on his stomach and breathe in the air that he had been denied. The smoke hurt his lungs, but he didn't care, because he had a choice to breathe in if he wanted or to not.
He heard, distantly, screams from the other patients. And then the almost nausea filling familiar voice of Francis complaining. He scrambled to his feet, wincing in pain from his muscles, which had strained against the straps holding him in the machine.
He could feel his clothes tearing off, having barely survived. He tore some of the more annoying, dangling threads away as he stayed behind a curtain, just able to see Francis walking around almost causally, occasionally coughing, as he sprayed with a fire extinguisher. He paused as he peered into the room Wade had been in, seeing the machine empty and likely the source of the fire…
Wade charged with an inhuman roar, causing Francis to jump and turn to face him just in time to get hit with a metal pipe.
The two men started to fight, Wade trying to push him back, to kill him, to hurt him. He wanted Francis to feel everything he and all the patients had felt there. Every tortured scream, yell, breath, or cry. Everything.
Barely able to hold Wade off, Francis yelled at the enraged man, "You don't wanna kill me! I'm the only one that can fix your barking mug!"
As he grabbed a pipe of his own, Francis fought back as hard as possible to Wade, eventually getting the upper hand of the man. Grabbing a sharper pipe, Francis skewered Wade with it, causing the man to cough up blood as he died. Not taking any chances, Francis bent the end of the pipe.
"What's my name?" Francis asked. When there was no response, he left the naked man behind.
Wade looked up slowly just in time to see Cunningham looked at him, still strapped to his bed like so many of the other patients were. "Wade…" the man, his one friend at the facility, croaked out.
And then the fire took over Cunningham's side of the facility. The smoke started to grow more and more. Coughing painfully, Wade closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift away.
He wasn't dead, though. After the fire had died out, Wade rose to his feet. The rubble, dirt, and ashes rubbed his feet raw. He could feel it cutting into his feet, but when he pulled one up to look at it, the cuts were already healing.
He looked up, feeling sunlight hitting his skin for the first time in months – in what felt like years.
"I didn't get the cure to el cancer. I got the cure to el everything. But there was only one thing – two things - that really mattered."
So a much longer chapter, nearly 3,000 words. Once again there's no Amy, but I tried to have her pop up in his thoughts. I also tried to have a bit of conflict between Vanessa and Amy for Wade. He cares deeply for both of them, but it's a different caring. My goal is to try and show it as lust vs. love, and I hope that came through.
I also tried to make it a bit less obvious about which one he thinks of first. So with the last line, for example, he's thinking about one of the women as the one that really matters and then adds in the other one. I hope that makes sense. No matter what, though, Amy will not cheat with Wade. That's just not who she is. She'd force Wade to break up with Vanessa first.
The next chapter is super long, so I hope you guys like it.