Issues of Omniscience

Disclaimer: I don't own Mass Effect, and am not making money off of these stories.

That said, the world these hypothetical train-wreaks of a story take place in is AU, and anyone expecting sanity or canon should flee far away. The idea for these stories came from playing Mass Effect 3, and my realization that EA didn't lay on the Messianic overtones nearly enough [/Sarcasm]. To correct this, I have decided to make this series of barely connected stories based on a universe where Shepard gains near omniscience from using the Beacons.

Text key

"speaking" "thinking" "Reaper speaking" -Scene info-

-Chapter 1: Tell Me, Have I Died Yet?-

-Chapter 1.1: Names are Hard-

The galaxy was at peace. The races were mostly co-operating, AIs were treated as living things, the last Metroid was in captivity. Everything was in order and there were absolutely no problems that needed giant synthetic cuttlefish or the knowledge of millions of previous civilizations to solve. And it was boring as watching paint dry in a vacuum. "If the man I was knew how boring immortality would be, would I still have taken this route?" Commander had uploaded himself into the reapers to stop the endless cycles of destruction, and at the beginning, everything was fine. He had so much knowledge to share, plenty of power to help with rebuilding, and he could even made a fully functional body out of medi-gel and omni-gel so it was almost like he never died.

But it didn't take long before all the big things were taken care of, and then the small stuff, and finally the minutia. Before long, the galaxy was running so smoothly and co-operatively that there wasn't anything for a god is machine form to do anymore. That said, he did enjoy the worship from all of his followers, and he frequently made bodies to experience life planet-side without being disruptive, but even that got old after a couple hundred thousand years. He almost missed the old days, back when there was actual danger and he learned new things every day instead of every millennia. "Ah well, the past is past. I think I'll make a body, check up on my decedents, maybe make some more."

The man-god-machine sent out a single thought and the command was obeyed. The Shepard consensus prepared to integrate the newly created viewpoint, but was shocked when the first sounds it heard were not the usual prays and chants of the cathedrals where his body generation normally takes place. No, instead it was just one or two female voices, and they weren't even chanting or gossiping. It's almost like they were just waiting for him to wake up. But that wouldn't make sense, he only made bodies rarely and never announced his plans before-hand. He sat up and looked around. He was in the Normandy Med-Bay with the good doctor Chakwas coming to check on him.

"You had us worried there Shepard. How are you feeling?"

A man who had not spent the last hundred millennia as a god would have been confused, but infiniteness had its perks. "Doctor, when am I?" Granted it also had its draw-backs. A hundred thousand years is a long time to remember each and every time he woke up in the Normandy Med-Bay.

"You've been asleep for fifteen hours. You're likely experiencing some disorientation after you unintentionally used the beacon."

"Ah, the beacon… wait which one? There were three or four of those I think. Well, at least I know what happened, I just need to find out when." "Tell me, have I died before?" Both Chakwas and Ashley looked at him as if he were unstable, understandably. "I'll take that as a no. Too bad; if I had died that would have greatly cleared up my confusion. So this is still the SR-1 then?"

Ashley was the first to recover her wits. "Just what did that beacon show you?"

"The future. I saved the galaxy from giant Eldrich cuttlefish Robots and then uploaded myself and lived as the god-king of the galaxy for a hundred thousand years or so. It was surprisingly boring. Oh, and I also saw a partial jumbled mess that we're about to go on an adventure to understand and it will be critical to saving the galaxy, but the Council won't care about that, so it isn't particularly useful."

Chakwas found her words after Commander had finished his little speech. "That would explain the abnormal Beta waves and Rapid Eye Movement. However, I don't quite understand how the Beacon would be able to show you the future. Perhaps it would be best to put it out of your mind."

"It's quite simple really: The Beacon transmits information faster than light and the damage that Saren caused made the information filter malfunction. Since everyone knows that when something travels faster than light, it travels back in time, no one should be amazed that the same happens with information."

"Skipper, That's not how it works. The Mass Effect Field-"

"The Mass Effect is Goddamn Space Magic! Give me the materials and I can make an assault rifle that can literally fire infinitely. I don't care how small the pieces you're shaving off, eventually that slug is going to be used up… actually, nevermind, I prefer the cooldown to the limited ammo that's going to be introduced within two years. Though, I wouldn't mind getting my hands on a Black Widow sniper rifle early. But nothing can beat the Cain for destructive power. Ooh, could I also get an arc pistol for fighting the geth? And…"

Captain Anderson walked into the room and interrupted Commander's wish list. "Doctor, how's our commander doing?"

Chakwas chose to ignore Shepard's continued rambling and gave a curt answer. "Physically, he's fine. But who knows how his mind has been affect from interacting with the beacon."

"Thank you. I think I'll check his mind myself. Could you wait outside?"

Ashley decided to throw in her two credits before leaving. "I'll be in the mess if you need me. And Commander, thanks for saving me."

"That's the way to think of things, Ash! Be thankful that you're still alive, and that I made the intelligent choice to save you and the STG Salarians rather than just Alenko when the bomb would go off either way."

Ashley gave him a strange look before the door closed, but he put it out of his mind. "So" Anderson began, "we have a dead Spectre, a destroyed Beacon, rampaging Geth, and a lot of dead colonists. Can you give me any good news?"

"Well, just let me think." As Shepard attempted to access his countless other platforms he realized that he was once again limited to a single body. But in exchange he did find himself able to view far away plot relevant places in an instant, because reasons. "Sirta foundation stock is up by 25 points since yesterday; I know you had stock in that. Kahlee Sanders is doing fine and thinking of you. And Chakwas has a bottle of Sherry Ice brandy that she won't even notice is missing until this ship is destroyed in a surprise attack." Said bottle appeared in his hand with the help of a mass effect field. "And I kept all my skills and specializations. Say hello to the only level infinity N-Omni with a million years of practice at 29."

Anderson accepted the glass handed to him and only hesitated a second before downing it in a single gulp. "You know, I was hoping for something more along the lines of political ammo. Could you tell me what happened down there?"

"Only if you tell me how you escaped Udina's watchful eye and grounding order to visit your semi-adoptive protégé on his vessel."

"Commander, I think the beacon has done something to your memories. Do you remember the mission you just took at all?"

"Judging by your reaction, I didn't just escape a nuclear blast on Virmire. In that case, that must have been Eden Pri… Wait! We need to go back as soon as possible! There's a Prothean in a stasis pod still alive back there!"

"Commander! Focus on the mission. The one you just finished."

"Right. We have a frightened witness that says he saw another Turian kill Nihlus, an insane witness that says he saw a Turian when Nihlus was still onboard the Normandy, and a Quarian with data salvaged from a Geth data-core that links Saren and Matriach Beneziah to the attack. We still need to pick up that last one though."

Anderson stared in shock, dribbles from his latest glass dripping onto his uniform. After quickly swallowing he let out a low whistle. "I've spent years of my life trying to pin that slippery bastard to his crimes, and you somehow know of definitive evidence without even trying. If this works I may have to try using a damaged Prothean beacon, see what happens."

"You'll be bored to tears by paperwork, then choose to stay behind on Earth as it undergoes an invasion from giant sentient machines, then die sitting next to me, heroically watching the galaxy be saved by the unification of all species. But mostly paperwork."

"…At least I'll do some good before I go. Don't know how I would get that much paperwork, but it's worth making sure that monster is stopped. Go talk to Joker, he'll be bringing us into dock soon."

"I'll need you to tell him to stop at Zakera Ward. I never had the chance to try that guy's ramen. They say it's a delicacy back on Earth. I just hope that it's actually there…"

-Citadel-

A very confused Quarian stood, trying her very best to shake off the obviously confused human. Sure he inadvertently saved her life by using his own shield and body to block the bullet, but he was also murmuring sweet nothings into her ear. Her blush was so bright that it tinted the visor of her helmet, and only the suffocating force of the human's hug kept her mouth from gushing forth half-formed thoughts.

Stopping just short of suffocation, the human released her to arms-length. After the slight pause to shoot the confused assassin, the man finally gave her appearance a once over and spoke. "Tali! I missed you so much! The last time I saw you was so many years ago, and you were with the kids and you said good-bye. Sorry, this must be confusing for you. I'm kind of from the future where we were married, ended the war between Geth and Quarians, and I became an immortal god controlling an unmatched legion of capital ships. Could you show the evidence you have on Saren from the Geth, then you can join me on my quest and I'll get you some nice presents for your pilgrimage, Tali Z'ra vas Normandy."

"This is all so fast, I don't know… wait, What did you call me?"

"Tali… Z'ra… vas… Alarai? You served under your father after pilgrimage, right?"

"I have a shotgun, and I'll give you one more chance."

"…vas Shepard?"

BANG

-Issue Resolved?-