Jean was pacing the living room when Lucien arrived back. Amelia was unsettled and she couldn't soothe her.

'Jean,' he put his arms round her, 'sit down. Give Amelia to me, she's feeding off your worry.' He took the baby gently out of her grandmother's arms and quickly soothed her, singing a lullaby. Jean sat on the couch, her head in her hands.

Lucien settled Amelia in her pram then went to sit with Jean.

'What happened?' He stroked her back.

'I don't know.' She turned to look at him, 'I took Amelia with me while I did the shopping. I left Ruby getting washed and dressed, we hadn't argued, for once. Well, not really. I asked her if she would do the shopping for me, a bit of fresh air and a change of scenery, but she just said she'd only get it wrong, even though she's been with me before, only once, but... Anyway I just went. I suppose I was a bit cross, but I didn't say anything.'

'Has she taken her bag?' Lucien asked.

'I don't know.' Jean sighed, 'her coat is still on the peg in the hall.'

'Right,' he stood up, 'I'm going to take a look round, see if I can find any clues.'

She stood up too, and they both went round the house. In the guest room the bed was unmade, but then it always was. Ruby didn't bother and Jean refused to make it for her, though she did tidy the bassinet. Ruby's handbag was on the dresser, so she hadn't planned to go walkabout. They checked every room in the house, even the surgery, no sign of her. It was as if she had just vanished, not even a cloud of smoke!

They went to the kitchen where Lucien suggested tea, but Jean just shook her head so, in spite of the early hour, he poured her a small whisky and made her drink it. She coughed and grimaced as it went down. Then he made her some tea, smiling at her expression.

'Christopher's coming today.' Jean muttered, 'and I've lost his wife.' She bit her lip to stop the tears.

'She can't have gone far.' Lucien felt sorry for her. Having Ruby here had been hard for her, hard work and hard on her emotionally. He could see why they didn't get on, Ruby really was difficult, lazy, unhelpful and still seemed to resent her baby. They say opposites attract, not in this case, in this case they repelled. Part of him wished he had never suggested they come to stay, but then he would have had to insist she go to Adelaide and then what would have happened? He shuddered to think.

'Is it my fault?' Jean was asking, as the thoughts ran through his head. 'That she's gone.'

'No, of course not.' He pulled her close, 'she is not taking to motherhood. I wonder if Amelia was an accident.' He looked at her face, drawn with worry, 'you haven't asked much of her. The night feed; obviously she wasn't doing it when she was feeding herself, which contributed to Amelia's slow growth and dehydration; to make her bed, even I do mine, daily, perhaps a little round the house. Nowhere near as much as she would have to do if she was at home. You do everything else, the nappies, the day feeds, plus your usual work. Personally I think she's a rather ungrateful little madam, and don't ask Mattie and Charlie what they think!'

'Oh.' She opened her eyes in surprise at his candid opinion of her daughter in law. 'Is she still suffering from the birth?'

'Not from what I saw at her examination this week.' He kissed the top of her head, 'she's healing well, her weight is improving, though I would prefer her to put a little more on. It's not a physical problem, more a mental one. You know her better than me, what did she look like when they married?'

'Pretty, slim but with a shape, I would have said she was the right weight for her height.' Jean tipped her head to one side as she recalled the wedding ceremony.

'And personality?'

'Hmm...' she thought, 'I don't know how to describe her, really. I thought she was demanding, 'Christopher get me this, Christopher do that, Christopher I want..'.that kind of thing. When I went to the house that once after they married, he seemed to do everything. He'd taken a week's leave, so we went out for a lot meals, he made the breakfast, which she had in bed. I suppose his behaviour was that of one besotted.'

'Right.' Lucien had nothing to say to that, well nothing complimentary, anyway. 'So I suppose that's part of why you didn't want to go to Adelaide this time?'

'That and we're busy here.' She admitted.

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Charlie, Ned and Bill were scouring Ballarat for the missing girl. For Jean they would do anything, and the superintendant had told them not to come back until they had some news. He was going to run up to the house and see if Jean had a photograph they could use to help in the search.

Jean found the latest photograph of Ruby, one taken before Amelia was born. It was the last one Christopher had sent her, and she had to admit it made her look pretty and happy. She gave it Matthew who said he would make some copies in the office and ensure that she would get it back.

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'Right, here's a photo of the girl.' Matthew passed the copies out, 'I want her found, if she's alive and just sitting somewhere, you can tell Mrs Beazley, if she's hurt or, god forbid, dead, you tell Blake, and no one, I repeat NO ONE ELSE! Got that?'

'Boss!' Everyone chorused and headed out to look all over the town, some headed out to Lake Wendouree, some to the railway station and some to the bus station.

None of the shop keepers had seen her, they even tried the pubs, but no, no one had seen her.

Back at the station they had to re think their search. Paths that led through uninhabited parts of the town, back lanes where only children played.

The phone rang, Matthew was all ready to tell Blake there was no news yet, but it was Ned, still out in a more residential area,

'Boss.' He was calling from a telephone box, 'some kids think they saw her going down to the wooded part of Lake Wendouree. I'm heading down there now, any chance..?'

'They'll meet you there, get going.'

'Boss.'

Matthew turned to the others waiting for his instructions.

'Right, she may have been spotted going down to the Lake. Take all the routes.' Matthew thought, should he alert Blake now, or wait, wait: he thought was the best way. He'd only come down and fuss, he needed to stay with Jean. 'As soon as anyone sees her, approach carefully, we don't know why she's gone walkabout...' He left the ideas hanging.

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It was a lovely place to sit, she thought. So peaceful and the air was so fresh. She wasn't sure where she was, but it didn't matter, she liked it. She closed her eyes and breathed in the air. A gentle cough alerted her to the presence of another person. She turned and opened her eyes. The man wore a uniform, he was smart and was smiling.

'Hello.' She smiled back.

'Miss,' Ned spoke quietly and gently, 'are you alright?'

'Yes, I think so, thank you.' She replied sweetly. 'It's so lovely here, what's the name of the Lake?'

'Wendouree,' he answered, 'it is nice isn't it.' He sat down and watched her.

'Oh, an unusual name.' Was her only comment.

'It means 'go away', in abo.' Ned informed her.

'Oh, should we?'

'What?' He was confused for a moment, 'oh, no. It's just the name, long story.'

'Good, I'm quite happy here.' She leant back against the bench and tipped her head up to the bright sun.

'What's your name?' Ned thought he'd better check if he was talking to Ruby Beazley.

'Oh,' she looked thoughtful for a moment, 'do you know, I've quite forgotten, how silly of me.'

'It's just you look like someone I'm trying to find,' Ned smiled. 'Ruby Beazley, don't suppose you know her?'

'No,' Ruby pursed her lips and shook her head, 'I don't believe I do.'

Charlie watched Ned from a short distance. He knew it was Ruby, he had to face her sour look over the dinner table most nights. But she looked happy, relaxed. He could just hear the conversation and headed back to the car.

'Boss,' he called over the radio. 'She's here, on the bench, the one dedicated to Thomas Blake. Ned's talking to her, but she says she's forgotten her name.'

'Bloody hell!' Matthew cursed, 'I'll ring Blake. Do you think Ned can keep her there until he gets there? An ambo might scare her.'

'Hope so, but I daren't speak to him.' Charlie didn't like the idea she might take fright and run, ''We'll follow her if she decides to move off.'

'Right.'

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'Blake!' Lucien barked down the phone, 'sorry, hello Matthew.'

'What?'

'Right, I'm on my way.' Lucien grabbed his jacket from the chair.

'Jean, they've found her, but she seems to have lost her memory.' He went into the living room and kissed her. 'I'll call you as soon as I can.'

'Can't I come with you?' She stood up, waiting was hard.

'No, love.' He smiled, 'best not.'

She watched him go, then turned to Amelia who had been disturbed by the sound of the door.

'Come on sweetie,' She soothed, more relaxed now, 'I expect you want feeding and changing.'

Jean set to with the usual chores. Lucien had moved all his appointments, telling his patients he was dreadfully sorry but they had a bit of a family problem.

She fed and changed Amelia, prepared the dinner, something that would stand and not spoil. She even went and made Ruby's bed up with clean linen.

The ring of the phone stopped her mid pillow case. She dropped it on the bed and ran to the kitchen.

'Dr Blake's...oh, Lucien,' she let out a breath, 'what's happened?'

'Calm down, Jean.' Lucien's calm, measured tone comforted her, 'she's not hurt, injured in anyway, but...I think she's had some kind of seizure. She has no memory of Ballarat, us, Christopher, being married, or, I'm afraid, Amelia.' He stopped to let that sink in.

'So,' Jean thought for a moment, 'a blank?'

'Something like that. When Ned found her she admitted she'd forgotten her own name, but, Ned says she didn't seem worried about it, just thought it was silly.' Lucien told her all he knew. 'Jean, Christopher...'

'...is coming home today.' Jean bit her lip as tears threatened again. 'I told him I'd keep her safe, and I haven't.'

'Jean, Jean!' Lucien stopped her, hard, 'even if she hadn't wandered off this would have happened, of that I'm sure. It's nothing to do with what you, or any of us have done or not done.'

'But...'

'No buts, dear Jean,'

She blushed as he spoke, hoping no one was nearby to hear him address her so.

'I'll have Charlie meet him at the station, usual time?'

'Yes, he said he'd be here for dinner.' Jean confirmed. 'Can I come down? Would seeing Amelia help?'

'No idea, but, yes, come on down.'

'I'll put Amelia in the pram and we'll head on down.' Jean put the phone down and collected all she needed, including a couple of spare bottles for the baby.

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Lucien met her at the front of the hospital.

'She's fine, in herself, quite happy.' He smiled and touched her shoulder. 'In fact quite unlike herself.' He admitted, a much nicer person, he thought. He helped Jean get the pram up the steps and took her through to Ruby's room.

Outside the room Jean picked Amelia up and cradled her gently in her arms and nodded to Lucien that she was ready to see Ruby.

She was surprised at the sight that met her eyes. Ruby was sitting up in bed, her hair was brushed and she was wearing a clean gown. She smiled as Jean entered.

'Hello, Dr Blake,' she greeted him, 'have you brought me a visitor?'

'I have, Ruby.' Lucien smiled, 'this is Jean, my housekeeper.'

'Hello, Jean, how nice to meet you.' She held out her hand, and Jean took it, strange though it felt. 'Oh, a baby. How sweet.'

Jean thought she was lucky not to drop Amelia with shock, 'Her name is Amelia.' Jean showed her to her mother.

'What a nice name.' Ruby was almost too polite, and Jean wondered if it was all a game she was playing, 'can I hold her?'

'Of course.' Jean handed Amelia over, and watched. Ruby was not that good an actress, she thought, she really had lost any idea of who she was or how she had been feeling.

'You are lucky to have such a pretty daughter,' Ruby told Jean.

'She's my granddaughter.' Jean informed her, 'her mother is...'

' not very well,' Lucien filled for her, 'so Jean is looking after her.'

'How kind of you.' Ruby offered the baby back.

'Thank you,' Jean took the baby and kissed her forehead.

'I'm feeling a little tired now, doctor,' Ruby started to slide down the bed, 'would it be alright if I had a nap?'

'That would be fine, Ruby.' Lucien smiled. 'I'll be back later.' He escorted Jean out of the room, his arm round her shoulder.

'That's no act, is it, Lucien?' Jean asked as she settled Amelia back in the pram.

'No, Jean, it isn't.' He agreed, sadly. He looked up, Charlie was coming towards him, accompanied by Christopher. Lucien sighed heavily, he'd have to take Christopher in and see if she recognised him.

'Mum!' Christopher hurried to her, 'what happened?'

'I'm sorry Christopher, I don't know.' She couldn't keep the tears at bay now, 'I went shopping, I've done it before, when I came back she wasn't at home.'

'I thought she was getting better.'

'So did I,' Jean sobbed, 'she was eating a little better and doing the night feed.'

Lucien put his arms round her and handed her his handkerchief,

'Jean, it's not your fault.' He looked up a Christopher, 'I need to talk to you before I take you in to see her.'

'Yes, of course.' Christopher squeezed his mother's elbow and followed the doctor.

Charlie took Jean to sit down and got a nurse to find her a cup of tea, which he insisted she drink. It made her smile through her tears, to hear a man, who could be her son, boss her about.

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Lucien explained that as far as he could tell Ruby had had some kind of seizure that had led to her losing her memory. She accepted being called 'Ruby', because they had told her that was her name. She was happy, comfortable, and content to stay where she was.

'I don't know what the morning will bring.' Lucien said, with all sincerity, 'it could be that she remembers everything or she could be as she is, or, there is a chance she goes back to how Constable Simmons saw her.'

'Right.' Christopher ran his fingers through his hair, 'and if she doesn't come back, then what? The seizure, could it happen again?'

'Christopher, I really don't know, I wish I did.' Lucien tugged his beard, 'did she have any episodes of vacancy while she was pregnant? Forgetfulness.'

'Er,' Christopher tried to think, 'possibly. She left the iron on and burnt a shirt, forgot to boil the kettle for tea, but other people said it happens, during pregnancy.'

'Hm, sometimes,' Lucien agreed, 'but it's usually little things, not burning shirts though, or making tea with cold water.'

'Can I see her, now?' Christopher asked.

'Wel,l I'll take you in,' Lucien started to escort him to the room, 'she was tired and wanted a nap. She may not recognise you as her husband if she knows you at all. Don't go to her, wait for her to speak your name, or indicate she knows you, from somewhere.'

'Ok' Christopher tugged the bottom of his jacket and followed Lucien. Desperately worried about what he would find.

Lucien knocked on the door, and pushed it open. Ruby was lying down, but she was awake.

'Hello doctor.' She smiled, and Christopher saw it was not his wife as she usually was. She never woke so sweetly.

'Hello Ruby.' Lucien went to the end of the bed, 'I hope I didn't wake you.'

'Oh, no, that's alright.' She pushed herself up in the bed, 'I had a lovely nap.'

That worried Lucien, he had only left her ten or so minutes ago, she barely had time to nap.

'Good.' He picked up her wrist and checked her pulse, a ruse, an excuse to be there. 'Oh sorry, I must apologise, this is my friend Christopher.' He pointed at the young lieutenant.

'Nice to meet you, Christopher,' Ruby extended her hand as she had to Jean, 'do you help the doctor?'

'Er, hello.' He stuttered, 'sometimes. How are you?'

'I think I'm well.' Ruby smiled, 'I don't hurt anywhere, but the doctor says I am not quite myself.'

'Well, I'm sure he knows.'

'Oh yes,' Ruby smiled again, 'he's a very nice doctor.'

'Why thank you, Miss Ruby.' Lucien chuckled, 'that's very kind of you to say so.' He put her wrist down, 'now, the nurses will bring you some dinner, which I would like you to eat as much as you can, then I will see you in the morning.'

'Thank you, doctor.' She relaxed against the pillows, 'I'll do my best.'

'Good bye, Ruby.'

He ushered Christopher out before he folded, and took him to sit with his mother, while he spoke to the sister in charge of the ward.

Jean was feeding Amelia when he sat down. She was not too absorbed in her task but didn't want to look at him, still feeling she had failed him.

'Mum?' He murmured.

'Christopher, I'm sorry.' She still didn't look at him, she knew the tears would start again.

'From what the doc says, it could have happened at any time.' He sat back in the rather uncomfortable hospital chair, 'I guess we were lucky she was here, where there were people who knew her. In Adelaide...'

'There's hope yet, Lucien says.' Jean whispered.

'We'll find out tomorrow,' the doctor appeared, 'for now, we need to go home, eat and sleep. None of us are any good to Ruby if we let ourselves get tired and ill.'

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Dinner was a sombre affair. Nobody ate much or talked. Mattie and Charlie washed up so Jean, Lucien and Christopher could be together.

They sat in silence, grateful for the nurse and police officer giving them room to breathe. Lucien sat next to Jean on the couch, a habit of late, but one she needed now.

'What will happen if she doesn't come back?' Christopher asked, gazing into his whisky.

'Well, if she remains as she is now, I would suggest a secure place.' Lucien swirled his glass around and swallowed the last mouthful. 'Not an asylum, she's not insane, not really sick, just lost. But she will need care, she has no idea how to take care of herself.'

'Can we think about that when we need to?' Jean asked, looking up at the doctor's saddened face.

'Of course.' He put his arm round her, and, in spite of the fact that her son was in the room, she relaxed into him. Their thoughts were disturbed by Amelia waking to be fed. Jean moved and went to see to her.

While she was busy Christopher decided to tackle Lucien on that very topic.

'Amelia...'

'We'll sort something out.' Lucien said, gently. 'She'll be taken care of, by family.'

'Thank you, Dr Blake.' Christopher stood up.

'It's Lucien, Christopher, please.' Blake stood up to face him, and held out his hand. 'Family.'

'Goodnight, Lucien.' Christopher shook his hand and headed to the guest room. Jean was just leaving the kitchen where she had fed Amelia, hoping that the two men in her life at the moment, could talk. She heard the doctor insist Christopher call him by his given name and include him in 'family'.

'Mum.' He bent and kissed his daughter, 'I'll do the night feed.'

'I'll do it.' Lucien caught them, 'I don't sleep well.'

Christopher looked astonished.

'It's alright, he knows what he's doing.' Jean smiled and kissed Christopher's cheek. 'Good night.'

Lucien followed the lieutenant and pulled the bassinet out of the room, 'Good night, Christopher.'

'Night, Lucien.'

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Jean couldn't sleep, again. She had settled Amelia in the bassinet in Lucien's room then they had sat on the couch and he had kissed her. She had responded, relishing the love he had to give. She saw the picnic at Lerderberg Park disappear, which she felt was selfish, but she was tired. Tired of doing everything, tired of being the one everyone turned to, tired of smiling when all she wanted to do was scream, too tired to sleep.

She heard Lucien get up to feed Amelia, so glad he had taken that task off her, even though she felt guilty about that, too. She heard the murmur of the lullaby he sang then the kitchen door open. Reasoning that the kettle would be warm, hot even, she decided to go down and make a cup of tea. Why not, she was only lying awake in her bed, she might as well see if a warm drink would help.

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'See that up there, Amelia.' Lucien pointed, 'that's Ursa Major, the great bear.'

'I think she's a little young to appreciate astronomy, doctor.' Jean whispered behind him.

'You're supposed to be asleep.' He pulled her to him with his free arm.

'I can't sleep.' She leaned against him, 'but I'm so tired.'

'Come on, inside.' He guided her into the house and into his bedroom. He settled Amelia in the bassinet then put his arms round the loveliest woman he knew and pulled her close.

'Don't leave me, Lucien,' she started to cry, 'I don't want to be alone.'

He pulled the covers on his bed back and helped her out of her robe. Settling her into his bed he closed the room door and went and got in beside her, however inappropriate it seemed to be it also seemed so right to do so. Jean never complained; unless she was cross with him; she got on with everything, and this time her stoicism had got the better of her. He should have seen how tired she was, but she hid it so well. He pulled her close.

'It's all my fault,' she sobbed, 'I've let them down.'

'Jean, don't be silly,' he stroked her head, 'you've done everything you should have. Nobody could have seen this coming, I didn't and I'm a doctor.'

'But I should have been nicer to her.'

'Why?' Lucien tipped her head with his finger and looked at her, 'she wasn't nice to you. I was impressed at how pleasant you were, to her.'

'Lucien.' She gasped.

'It's true, and there's no use in saying anything else.' He kissed her forehead, 'Now, you are going to go to sleep and I am going to stay right here and hold you, all night.'

'In your bed?'

'Where else.' He settled down on his back and looked up at the ceiling, 'nobody is going to think anything bad about me comforting you, because nobody, outside of the house will know.'

She snuggled down against him and closed her eyes, sleep finally claiming her.

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Lucien stirred. There was something warm next to him, then he smiled as he remembered he had put Jean in his bed and held her. He knew he should get up, she would need tea, Amelia would need a bottle and the day would have to start. He wondered what Mattie's shift was like today. He could use her at home if she was free. Jean would need help and he had to do a surgery today, the patients numbers would be nearly double, as he had postponed yesterday's.

She stirred and turned over, leaving him the room to get out of bed.

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Mattie was in the kitchen, bleary eyed as she always was on the morning, making tea and boiling the bottles. Lucien smiled, bless her, he thought.

'Morning,' he whispered in her ear.

'Oh, Lucien,' she turned and smiled, 'I didn't hear you come in. Good morning.'

'Must have had the same idea as me.' He nodded towards the kettle.

'Yes, but...' she looked at him, suspiciously, 'Jean isn't in her room.'

'I know,' he collected cups and saucers, 'but don't worry, we haven't done anything inappropriate, she couldn't sleep and came down when I was showing Amelia the stars.' He sat down and she sat with him.

'She's exhausted, Mattie.' He looked at the young nurse, 'I need your help, she...needs your help. Until we know how Ruby is going to progress she will wand Amelia to stay here, and probably Christopher when he can.'

'Of course, I'll do anything I can. I've already asked to change my shifts with another nurse today.' She reached over and squeezed his hands, 'it won't be easy for you.'

'Never mind me,' he smiled, 'it's Jean I'm worried about.'

'Lucien, I'm not stupid,' She laughed at him, 'I know very well you are trying to court Jean, it couldn't be more obvious how much you two are in love.'

'Mattie...' he thought they had been subtle, obviously not!

'Don't worry,' she got up to make the tea, 'I approve, if that's what you want to hear, so does Charlie. I can take Amelia for a walk if you two want some time together, alone.'

Lucien had the good grace to blush, a little. 'Thank you. Now...'

He picked up the tray and smiled as Mattie added a bottle warming in a jug of hot water to the tea.

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Jean was just picking her granddaughter out of the bassinet when he returned with the tea and milk.

'Oh, Lucien, thank you.' She smiled, she looked so much better. Her curls were messed up; when had she stopped wearing the hairnet?

'Thank Mattie.' He put the try down, 'she was already boiling the kettle and the bottles, made the milk up and has changed her shift for today.'

Jean sat down on the bed, the sudden realisation that Mattie would know where she slept last night, hit her and she blushed furiously.

'It's alright.' He kissed her head, 'we've been rumbled anyway and we have their approval,' he laughed, 'cheeky madam. She understands how tired you are and how difficult you are finding it, to sleep and stay cheerful.'

Jean offered the bottle to Amelia and smiled. She thought she could cope with Mattie and Charlie knowing she and Lucien were 'courting', and truthfully, she needed all the support she could get, at the moment.

'I'm going to get dressed while you do that,' he squeezed her shoulder, 'I'm going over to the hospital to see Ruby after breakfast, then I'll ring and let you and Christopher know how she is.'

'Do you expect improvement?' She asked.

'Not sure, even a little,' he stopped and looked at her, 'will give me hope, but if there isn't any then I'll leave it another day before I start to talk to Christopher about her future care.'

'Thank you, Lucien.' Jean sighed, 'for everything.'

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So, has Ruby really gone into her own little world? Will she come back again? How will Christopher cope?

This story was not supposed to be so long, but...