Pairing: Ash/Misty brOTP

Genre: Humor/Friendship

Rating: T

Summary: In which Ash and Misty bother Brock about Professor Ivy. One-Shot

Requested by: LEGAL-EAGLE53

XOXs

They wondered for years what Brock did at Professor Ivy's laboratory. For years, Ash and Misty bothered their old time companion for answers regarding the scenario, but he would always avoid the subject at any chance possible.

Today was the day, seven years later, standing at twenty years old, Brock would tell the tale.

Because Ash and Misty were going to make him.

The duo in question sat huddled behind the kitchen wall in the Ketchum household, they each carried a little bit of wisdom and a lot of questions; but even more than that, they were driven by an act of curiosity, especially now more than ever.

"I bet she was some kind of creepazoid." Misty chimed, peeking into the kitchen where Brock wore his classical pink apron and carefully flipped and scooped the meal he was cooking. He gave Delia the night off, and he and Clemont shared in cooking duties—the latter had gotten caught up with an invention, and was escorted out of the kitchen by his younger sister and Serena.

The subject of what happened with Professor Ivy came out of no where; while they were told never to speak of it on their journeys through johto, it had been years since the incident in question; whatever happened, Brock must have wanted to share.

"I can't believe he never cracked about it before. I traveled with him for years after he left." Ash grimaced, looking a his red-haired friend. "Do you really think she might have been..." He gestured with his hands, getting a huff of frustration from Misty.

"A creep?"

"No, the other word." Misty paused for a moment, watching his hand movements and then rolled her eyes.

"Ash, that's disgusting! Why would you think that?" She gagged, glaring at the raven-haired boy who shrugged in response.

"I don't know, you said she was a creep."

"I didn't mean it like..." She growled, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Whatever, just... let's go!" Misty chirped, throwing Ash into the kitchen by the scruff of his neck. He dusted off his black tee-shirt with the palms of his hand as Misty rounded the corner into the kitchen, leaning against the table at the same time as Ash.

"Hey Brocko." Ash started, folding his arms inconspicuously. Misty copied his actions.

"What'cha cookin'?" She asked with a tight lipped grin.

He knew them both too well, apart, they were manageable, mature. Together, it was a lot like sharing a house with two primeapes who liked to throw food at each other and yell a bunch. The tone of their voice, so curious and demeaning, he knew what they would ask of him before the question left his mouth.

"I'm not telling you what happened with professor Ivy!" He shouted, turning away from them and mixing his soup voraciously. Ash nearly fell over at the assumption, but Misty remained strong.

"Why not!? It's been forever!" Misty whined, all but stomping her feet. Ash followed quickly with a nod and Brock turned at them once more.

"That's exactly the point, it's been like seven years, can't you two find something else to obsess about?"
Ash looked at his invisible watch and then playfully back up at Brock. "Not until at least sun down." He chuckled and Misty nodded her agreement and then looked mischievously over at Ash.

"I bet we can get it out of him before then." She offered the challenge and Ash stuck out his hand.

"It's a deal then." And they shook on it, right in front of the man in question.

"I'm still standing here!" Brock whined, and the duo shrugged.

In unison they said: "I know."

As the duo left the kitchen exchanging plans to break the poor man's soul, he rubbed his temples. This was just his luck. He came to visit during Ash's between time of Kalos and Alola, and this of course would happen to him. Brock could never just visit peacefully with his friends, it always turned into some kind of battle, or adventure, or embarrassing tale. For a brief respite, he wondered if Ash's other friends knew just how cruel he was when Misty was around.

XOXs

Maybe cruel wasn't the best word to describe Ash's odd behavior when Misty was around—she definitely brought out the child in him; which in turn, brought out the child in Brock.

"C'mon, Brock. Just a hint."

Since asking out right had gone awry, they were playing the guessing game. A weird combination of good cop and bad cop.

Misty was always the bad cop, and Ash was the good cop. They sat opposite of him in the living room on the sofa, while Brock sat on the recliner. Misty cupped her chin with her left hand and Ash sat forward with his elbows on his knees.

"Was she already married when you tried hitting on her?" Misty asked with raised eyebrows. Brock nearly spit out his drink.

"Misty, that's horrible!"

"So no." Misty looked at Ash who sat back and tapped his chin.

"Was she..." he looked at Misty and then back at Brock, "actually a male?"

Brock's face paled, and his mouth fell open. "Ash, it should be a sin to call such a-"

"Hey wait, why did you look at me!?" Misty shouted, astounded at Ash's question as he looked away from the redhead and crossed his legs over one another. Misty sneered, and then turned her eyes back at Brock viciously.

"What a waste of a question—of course she's a female!" Misty gestured to her chest, indication that Ivy was well endowed. "But I actually think you might have gotten her pregnant and fled the scene—eehhh Brock?" Misty's eyebrows danced, but Brock didn't seem as amused.

"Misty, I took care of my ten brothers and sisters...why would you even think that?" He asked in a flat tone. Misty sat back while Ash snorted.

"Alright, that was too far." Misty apologized, putting up her arms. "Was it because you had a small penis?"
"Misty!" Ash and Brock said in unison.

"Language!" Ash groaned awkwardly, and Misty rolled her eyes at Ash, and waved him down to sit once more. Brock's mouth opened, then closed, and then he stared flabbergasted at Misty's assumption.

"...How would you even..."

"I don't! I was just asking. God." Misty groaned, her face turning red. Boys could be so awkward sometimes. Ash settled back and looked from Misty, and then back to Brock.

"Maybe it was because she was dating Professor Oak?" Ash smiled and Brock stood up for that one, pointed at his companions, went to speak, and then stormed away without doing so.

"I think we made him angry..." Ash mused, sparing a worried glance at Misty. She returned the look and sighed.

"At least he's not curling up into a ball and lying on the ground anymore...that's improvement, right?"
Ash laughed nervously at that. "I would hope he doesn't do that seven years after the incident."

Misty ruffled her hair in frustration. "What could it be?" She wondered aloud, sharing a long sigh with Ash.

XOXs

His companions from Kalos were just getting settled in that night after dinner when Ash and Misty turned to one another. The table was cleared, Ash's companions were preparing for bed, and Brock was avoiding them. Brock hadn't spoken a single word to them since the incident, and the both sighed.

"I think we really hurt his feelings, Ash." Misty mumbled, Ash pursed his in response.

"It was your idea..." he muttered pathetically, slumped over in his chair while resting his chin on the dinning table. Misty glared at him and tapped her nails on the table while Ash looked up at her.

"You were the one talking about everything that happened at the Orange Islands." Ash blurted confidently.

Misty scoffed, "Yeah, but you brought up what happened on that blimp when Brock left."

"But it was you who brought up-" "Why are we arguing about this?!" Misty snapped, cutting him off.

"We both asked questions, we both need to apologize." Misty commanded while looking tiredly at Ash.

"I guess so." He whined, and looked up at her. "I just feel bad for bringing it up now, you know? I thought that maybe after so long he would actually have a good laugh about it." Ash recited while Misty clapped him on the shoulder in confidence.

"I did, too." She said sadly. "But, since that wasn't the case, we should go apologize."

XOXs

Brock sat in Ash's bedroom, against the railing of the windowsill, looking out into the night sky. He and Ash were sharing a room, while everyone else was given variations of the guest room.

"Hey, Brock." Ash hummed as he entered, though the older man said nothing in return. Ash tossed his hand up weakly to wave while Misty followed him in slowly, and shut the door quietly behind him.

"Listen..." She started, with her fingers intertwining. She looked at Ash, and then back to the stoic Brock. "We're sorry, we thought that you would be able to laugh about it now."

"We were out of place and we're sorry..." Ash finished with Misty nodded strongly beside him.

A pregnant pause formed between Brock and the duo before he slowly slumped off of the sill, and onto the floor, bumping his head against the wall behind him.

"It's just... not my proudest moment, you know?"

Ash and Misty looked at one another curiously, and then back at Brock.

"What do you mean?"

Brock looked at them with hardened eyes, and licked his teeth under his lips. "It wasn't anything crazy; she wasn't married, she was never a man or a rapist or a pedophile, we never did anything." he looked at each of his friends for a few second each and said once more. "Anything."

"Then what did happen?" Ash gaped, and then covered his mouth when Misty slapped his arm to shush him.

Brock snorted.

"Would you believe me if I said it actually had to do with our job?" His voice laced over in discomfort, pushing a strangled noise from the back of his throat. He had closed his eyes to think over the event when both Ash and Misty took a seat beside him. Ash kicked out his feet, and Misty curled hers close to her chest. The nudged him simultaneously.

"You don't have to tell us."

"Yeah, Brock. Regardless of what happened, we're never going to judge you."
Misty snorted. "Well..." she started but a glare from Ash silenced her sarcasm.

Brock opened his eyes and looked at his two friends, and then draped his arms over their shoulder, bringing them in for an awkward hug.

"I love you guys." He mused, getting a nervous laugh from Ash and a glare from Misty—her personal space was being invaded, and his armpit was touching her shoulder. Both were bad things, but she wasn't about the brush him off. She forced an awkward smile and shared a slightly concerned look with Ash.

Brock swallowed hard, and then exhaled.

"I messed up." He said confidently, "A lot." He finished and both of his companions eyebrows raised.

"And she was..." A shudder ran down his spine, as a barely audible whisper escaped his lips. "The devil."

Misty sneered. "The devil?" She asked, and Ash shared a worried look with Brock.

"Man." He started. "Take anything that Misty has ever done—chased us with plush mallets, threatened to beat us with bits of wood and pull on my ear—and then multiply it by a billion—but all she had to do was look at you and your whole body would just..."

Ash's voice dropped low as he frantically looked between Brock and Misty. "But she seemed so normal—so kind?"

"On the outside, and in social she was." Brock confirmed, holding up a finger. "But in the lab she was..." he paused, unable to say the worlds "and I was new, so of course I messed up a few times, you know and man, were the punishments unmanageable." He inhaled. "One time, she left me outside during hurricane weather because I accidentally replaced a breeding serum with vioplums toxins, so many of the pokemon she was handling got really sick."

"To be fair that's kind of a big deal." Misty argued, eyebrows narrowed.

"Then this other time..." As Brock rambled, keeping them close to his body by the neck, Ash and Misty shared a look of pure frustration. They opened an irreversible can of worms with no end in sight.

XOXs

When they left Ash's bedroom that morning, they were given looks of absolute torment from the rest of their group—neither had been sure when they passed out, or at what point Brock left them to begin cooking breakfast, but they were exhausted. There was no doubt in their mind that they had only spent the last hour asleep.

"You two look like hell." Brock whined, looking at Ash and Misty who narrowed their eyes at Brock.

"That's because you kept us up all night with your crazy stories about Professor I-"

"Please, Ash, don't say her name. If I have to listen to one more story about how she opened and closed the door sixteen times until it shut perfectly, I'm going to throw myself out the window." Misty groaned, rubbing her aching forehead.

"What are you talking about?" Brock asked, eyes innocently glaring at his two friends. "You two kicked me out last night after dinner." He argued. "I slept on the couch."
Ash's face paled, as he looked at his friends at the table, who glanced back down at their plates, and then back at Brock who served another plate of pancakes. Misty froze at the coffee machine and looked to Brock with a very observant twitch in her eye.

"You liar." Misty hummed. "You were there. Telling stories." Misty threatened, but Brock shrugged.

"No, I slept on the couch, right Clemont?"

"I did see him get up from the couch this morning."
"That's because he left early."

"Misty, it's okay. You two are old enough." Brock confirmed meekly, and a roaring blush fell over Ash and Misty's face.

"Oh, Brock..." Misty muttered in a low, threatening tone. "I see what you're doing." She said while pointing her finger at him while he sat back.

"I'm not doing anything..." He assured them both, pursing his lips innocently while Delia came stomping down the stairs.

The mother took one look at Ash, and then another at Misty—seeing first their disheveled appearances, and next the bags under their eyes.

Ash looked helplessly at Brock, his mouth ajar with a look of utmost betrayal in his eyes.

"You told my mom...?" He managed before the motherly scolding voice bellowed from behind him.

"Upstairs." Delia commented, then shouted for affect. "Now!"

Both Ash and Misty hustled quickly from the kitchen in fear of incurring the woman's wrath. At the table, Serena, Clemont and Bonnie scoot their food around their plates while Brock watched them run up the stares swearing at each other. Delia gave the rest of them a look, and then turned to follow them up herself.

"Hmm, I wonder what that was about...?" Brock hummed before turning away and starting back on his pancakes, waiting until the others could no longer see his face before a sinister grin pushed over his lips.

XOXs.

The biggest difference when Ash and Misty returned was the distance they had placed between each other, and lack of association. Neither could look at each other in the eye, and Misty was sure that she had never been more embarrassed in her life. Ash was determined to erase the memory with battling and years away from the redhead.

"So, did'ya have fun?" Brock asked, instigating a nervous reaction of pure, unadulterated anger. It was well past noon—which meant Delia talked with them for well over four hours, and both were cranky. Upon hearing their oldest companions expression, though, they both turned on him, working together.

"No, Brock. We didn't even do anything and we just had to-" Misty froze, seeing Ash's arm press against her own. "Too close." She paused, nudging Ash away and he jumped away from her. Slowly, her glare turned back on Brock.

"I just had to listen to Ash's mom give us the sex talk with grotesque details of her—oh god...I think I'm going to be sick." Misty muttered, holding her stomach and turning away. Ash followed up and glared at Brock.

"Do you know how awkward that was? Do you? I feel like I've been stripped of all my innocence—she made me look at pictures of when I was being born." Ash growled, grabbing Brock's vest, though the man did not seem phased by such occurrence.

A moment passed as a sudden estranged ticking in their mind erupted at the same time and both Ash and Misty spun on their heels to look at one another and then back at Brock.

"That's what you were so upset about!?"

"Hey, to be fair, Ivy gave me a list of every reason on the planet that I should stop trying to pick up women. I thought for a little while I was gay until she told me what I could catch from that... With pictures and lists and terrible, terrible stories. It was like sexual education, but the kind that makes you want to become a nun."

"So you made us suffer...?" Misty groaned in a strained voice.

"Why?" Ash added, his voice was also strained.

"Because you kept asking, and now you know.. though, I imagine Delia was a lot less gruesome than Professor Ivy... Though the pictures were a nice touch." Brock mumbled thoughtfully, crossing his arms. A long pause followed in which Ash and Misty looked at one another with brimming hatred in their eyes.

Misty was fuming, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly before shouting: "I am so going to kill you!"

"I'm going to help!" Ash added determinedly, eyes narrowed. Misty looked at him and held out her arm.

"...from about a foot away at all times." Ash added thoughtfully and the duo nodded their agreement before approaching the older male. Brock took a slow step away from them and gulped.

"C'mon guys, can't you take a joke...?"
Ash and Misty closed in on him before Brock turned and started his run, shouting for help on his way out of the house.

"I'm sorry!" He yelled. "I didn't mean to I swear!" Brock yelped as Misty tackled him followed closely by Ash.

"Have mercy!"

Author's Note:

So I had to think about what would be so traumatizing to a thirteen year old that would cause them to literally sit down on the ground and have a panic attack when someone's name came up. More importantly, what would be so traumatizing to Brock? I am 100 percent against the idea of an Ivy/Brock relationship, because I think it's sick and I don't think Brock would do any of those things. (The questions Ash and Misty asked were the most famous fan theories btw...like, wth xD;)

HOWEVER, I really got to thinking about it, and I was going to originally leave it as Professor Ivy was just a scary person, like a drill sergeant in the army or something—but then the more I thought about it, the less I thought that would make Brock weep at the thought of her. So I took the other route—while it was still technically sexual related, it was in the parental, "I'm going to scare you into never having sexual relations ever" type thing.

As a professor who no doubt noticed Brock having a thing for her, I could see in a comical fashion, Ivy being his first sexual education coach. Seeing how obsessive Brock was about it, I could also see her being one of those crazy ones that share horrifying stories and while I didn't explicitly state those—you can imagine, can't you? So, I hope that's reasonable; I don't think Brock is the kind of character to partake in any of the current fan theories, but I could see the later two affecting a 13 year old pretty terribly.

Maybe not my best written? I think Ash and Misty were a bit ooc. Eitherway, enjoy~