Pairing: Ash/Misty, (sort of in a brOTP fashion)
Rated: T
Genre: Humor/Romance
Summary: In which Misty pretends to be Ash's girlfriend. One-Shot
Requested by: Mrs. Nose
Warning: One sided amourshipping; not looking to cause a war, just looking to write a fun, little story.
XOXs
When Ash paced back and forth through his unchanged room since he was ten, he gnawed his finger nails, muttered below his breath, and swore only one concept of reality: freaking puberty.
That's right, the dreaded 'p' word he was trying to avoid since he started at fourteen with that dreaded voice-crack in Sinnoh. Life was just a complete spiral after that—minor tasks required less thought because thoughts betrayed him!
Why that's a nice dress, but why does it have to interrupt training? He recalled the memory while pinching the bridge of his nose. He also recalled looking away, at anyone other than the scantly clad female standing beside him—the ground was nice. But underneath everything, ever small, white lie, oblivious nature, awestruck gaze and idiocy, Ash was still male. He had feelings and reactions: any normal sixteen year old would!
However, Ash was an expert, after years of witnessing Brock fawn after every single woman they came into contact with, Ash knew how to handle himself by doing exactly what Brock did—but the complete opposite.
Oh, you're flirting with me? You know what sounds like a great idea, a pokemon battle; because pokemon. Ash wasn't interested in females. At the thought, his gut lurched, and he tore apart his scrawled list of contacts once more in desperation; flicking through names. May, Kasey, Dawn, Ursula, Sakura, Bianca, Iris: each one crossed out, each one an even less likely chance of ever returning his calls.
So, correction-he sighed heavily—Ash liked girls, he just didn't want to date one. For a very, very long time. He had his goals to think about, his life to focus on; his battles and adventures—and for heavens sake he was only sixteen, he didn't want a steady girlfriend! His mom tried that with his dead-beat, pokemon training, father, and wound up pregnant at seventeen and then his dad poofed. Ash didn't want that for his life.
Ever.
His face scrunched up and he slumped onto his bed—the problem was; one person, in particular, was very... assertive.
It wasn't that he didn't like her—it was just that...he didn't hold any special feelings for her. In fact, Ash could hold up with one hand how many females that he had special, albeit platonic, feelings for with one finger: his mother.
So now faced with a dilemma, in the same fashion he might have done when he was ten—he lied to get out of a situation; only to lie more, which only resulted in more lies. Ash didn't enjoy lying, it just happened...
Pikachu stared at his frantic trainer from across the bedroom, sitting on his perch at the base of his trainer's window, soaking up the sunlight when Ash slumped onto his bed, fell backwards, and let out a strangled noise before slapping his face. The pokemon's ears fell backwards when Ash rolled over to check his list again—he could call one of the crazy ones; but there was no way they would agree to it! Everyone else already told him no! He was almost out of options and if he asked someone that actually liked him; he would only be in a worse situation.
He needed someone untouchable, someone who regardless of the situation wouldn't bat an eye, wouldn't break her facade under the scrutiny of his mother, most recent travel companions or the media—he needed someone strong, and loyal, and for god's sake;
Someone who would lie to his mother.
XOXs
Ash's predicament started a year ago, when he let a floundering crush turn into a full blown confession at the end of the Kalos league—that's right, Serena confessed. She not only confessed; she did so in front of Clemont and Bonnie, who were super supportive, and convinced that Ash returned the feelings for the dark blonde.
Not only were they wrong, they sunk all three of his battle ships at once, he was doomed the moment he answered.
"I don't know what that means." Ash blurted out in reply to: I really like you Ash, more than a friend.
To which Bonnie stepped in with a quaint: She's trying to say that she loves you, Ash.
But oh, no. Ash couldn't just let his obliviousness slip for one second and deny his good friend then and there—she would be devastated, her eyes were already watering and he hated seeing her cry. So, he swallowed, and kept up his defenses.
"...I love you guys, too." He replied doltishly, with a stretching, nervous grin. But then—oh no, things couldn't just have stopped there; she kissed him. On the lips. Full on, mashing of faces, knocking over Bonnie into her brother, and in the process head-butting Ash; but, she kissed him. Not well, but, it was a kiss. Not that he was an expert on kissing or anything.
So then, in his best defense, his only lasting defense, he uttered the four words that sealed his fate: "I have a girlfriend" and his life was over.
Perhaps it was the melodramatic teenage hormones doing their holy work, but Ash felt that in many ways, he sabotaged his entire life with four words. The news spread like wildfire, he had no idea that he was so popular on the news until Serena shrieked loudly in the middle of the stadium—and even though he was runner-up, apparently he was as popular as the league champion.
Worse; his friends all heard the news before he had the chance to tell them—his one, true ally, Brock, was not speaking with him because Ash 'betrayed their bro-code of romance': which was simply that Ash did not tell Brock that he was dating someone. Apparently, no one realized it was a lie, a cold, uncouth lie—well, no one but Serena. It wasn't that he wanted to lie, even; he liked Serena, he just didn't like, like her. He didn't want to burn a bridge with her; she was still a very important friend to him.
"Oh god, Pikachu." Ash groaned into his hat.
The teenager locked himself into his room on the facade of being sick after an hour long spill from his mother that he never told her anything and that she demands to meet this girlfriend of his. So, what started as an innocent lie to get out of a hurtful truth, branched into an entangled group of buried roots and agony. Now his friends and family had to pour gasoline on the dying tree, and Ash would burn in flames, just like his inability to reject honestly.
It wasn't too late though, he could still tell the truth; but now, the truth was not only detrimental, it was worse than it was before. Not only was Ash unwilling to admit to Serena he wasn't ready for a committed relationship, but that he preferred to lie to her about a fake relationship than have anythingto do with her; at least, that's what he was expecting her to think. Followed by a slap, or a tearful scream, or worse—public humiliation. Right now, he just wanted to crawl into a hole and bury himself; he was already halfway in his own grave, after all.
"...Pika?" The mouse crooned, sitting in his trainers lap while Ash sat forward, thinking of the adventures he was supposed to go on in Alola—a journey that was now going to be shrouded by this.
"Should I tell the truth?" Ash asked his long time companion.
The mouse nodded, eyes glaring. "Pika, chu, pi." The mouse reiterated, basically reciting to Ash the golden rule: always be honest. If pikachu had stopped there, Ash might have moved on, admit his failures, taken his lumps early; but then the mouse continued.
"...ka.. pika pikachu pi, piikachu..." The mouse added, gesturing with his paws while Ash's face paled.
Of course, the pokemon told him, there's the problem of your mother; she'll kill you, or worse, stop feeding us.
It was at that moment Ash turned to his list, and held up the last number he was going to call that night—pray for an easy conversation; and hope for the best. His other option included Gary; and he wasn't sure 'coming out' was going to be a lie that he could manage.
Ash couldn't tell his mother he was lying.
Damn it, he was going to call the last person he wanted to ask this favor from: Misty Waterflower, the Cerulean City gym leader.
XOXs
"...Hi Misty." Ash's voice cracked on the other line of her mobile phone while she directed a man holding a large painting of a gyarados—she was renovating the gym's aquatic center with facts about pokemon.
The red head licked her lips. "What? Are you going through puberty again or something? Is there a reason your voice is cracking?" Misty snorted, only causing Ash to groan, clear his throat, and try again.
"No, I'm through that—maybe...hopefully. Ergh, can we not talk about that?"
"Why, it's normal; everyone goes through it Ashy-boy."
"Did you really adopt that from Gary, it's been what, two years since we last talked and that's what you're choosing to call me?"
"Damn right; mostly because you're on my bad list right now, Mr. pokemon master." She mocked him in such a tone, she could feel the wince, and a smug smirk curled over her lips.
"What did I do now?"
"You just said it—two years, Ash. You haven't called in two years. Worst of all, you call Brock!"
"How did you know that I call Brock?"
"Because Brock calls me!" Misty shrieked, stomping her foot hard against the tiled floors and alerting the movers in the gym.
A pause. "...oh."
"Yeah: oh!" Misty yelled, suddenly very flustered.
"...Yeah, okay. I'm sorry. I just get.. busy. You know, leagues, and travel, and plus the time changes in Unova and Kalos compared to Kanto were just ridiculous." Ash offered smoothly to rectify the problem. Misty smacked her lips unhappily in reply, kicked her shoe against the fabric of the wall, and then exhaled.
"Alright, I'll let it pass only because you took runner-up," Misty paused. "Sorry about that, you almost won, too..." She started, but then Ash interrupted her.
"You watched the match?"
"Well, I recorded it since it aired at like 3:00am Kanto time, but yeah. I watched it." She confirmed, hearing a huff of excitement from Ash that she hadn't heard in years.
"What did you think of greninja!? He's pretty awesome, right?" His voice, which had been so anxious only moments ago was laced with unbridled excitement that forced a chuckle from her lips.
Happily, Misty said: "Yeah! Considering he was the first water pokemon you've ever evolved, I was really impressed!"
"Thanks Misty, coming from you, that means a lot." Ash confirmed happily, eliciting an awkward silence between the two of them that was quickly managed by Ash coughing into his house phone. He held the phone to his ear, listened carefully for any one else on the line, and then hunched over before exhaling.
"I...I sort of need a huge favor."
"...What kind of favor?" Misty muttered after a few moments to register the change in his voice. How serious he had become.
"Well, I sort of caught myself in a pickle here, Mist..." Ah, the nickname, he could never just call to say hello... Misty thought tiredly, taking a position of immediate defense—she didn't need him to finish, she knew what this was about.
"You don't really have a girlfriend, do you?"
"...No." Ash admit after a time, receiving a very loud, very agitated exhale from the redhead.
"Ash, just go tell your mother and for sanity's sake, tell Brock, he's been whining about it for the last few days; do you know how long it took me to get him off the phone this morning? He called me eighteen times!" She hissed, hearing Ash groan on his end of the conversation.
"I—I know I should tell the truth, but I can't!" He whined and Misty inhaled.
"Why can't you?" Misty snarled. "Tell them you're more focused on your training; your mom won't hate you! Yes, she'll be mad, but she'll get over it—it's not the stupidest thing you've ever done." Suddenly, Misty paused for thought while climbing the stadium steps to over look her crystal clear pool.
"...Wait." She paused thoughtfully, mouth opening. "Why did you lie to your mom, anyways?" Misty suddenly questioned, and could hear Ash fumble anxiously.
"...it... wasn't my mom I lied to at first." Ash addressed, clearing his throat once more. Before Misty could nudge the reasoning out of him, he spilled like a tea set during an earth quake. "There is this girl that I was traveling with that got well, you know, and I couldn't let her down so I...might have...ehem... well, I stretched the truth."
Misty tripped, dropped her phone, and slammed her head on the footing of the stairs, alarming Ash who piped in with several muffled are you okay?s while Misty gathered herself, and her thoughts; this was such an Ash thing to do. She groaned loudly, collecting her phone from the ground and dusting off her knees while she approached her bed room.
"Stretched the truth? Ash, you haven't even looked at a girl since we were ten!" Misty bellowed loudly, speaking of the girl they met early on in their journey that ended up being a pretentious bitch at a pretentious pokemon school. "Why would you lie?!"
"Because-! I don't know if I don't like her...besides, she-she-she kissed me and I panicked!"
"She kissed you?!" Misty echoed loudly with a shriek that startled Daisy who was sitting in the study with her nose glued to a smutty romance novel—suddenly, Misty's conversation was much more interesting, and she lowered her book to eavesdrop, and tucked lower into the couch so that Misty wouldn't notice she was there.
"Ash, you can't lie to girls! You should have been honest with her, even after that! What is wrong with you!?"
"But you don't understand, Misty; she has like these really sensitive blue eyes and Clemont and Bonnie were there, and I couldn't; I panicked and said the first thing that came to my mind."
"And it was that you already had a girlfriend!?" Misty bellowed, rattling the windows and possibly breaking Ash's ear drum.
"Yes! I know. I messed up, that's why you have to help me! I already called everyone else that I could call—you're my last hope; please!"
"Oh, so not only are you calling me for a favor after ignoring me for two years, I'm also your last source of advice!" She inhaled, ready to fire off a line of well-crafted Misty insults, but Ash, knowing her anger, quickly cut her off.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" Ash blurted, slapping his hand over his mouth seconds later to catch his breath; the sudden question caused a minor defect in the proper programming of Misty's brain, and she twitched.
"...what did you say?" She breathed into the phone, her voice mixed somewhere between shock and pure rage. At this point, Daisy had almost fallen off the couch in juicy gossip, and bit down hard on her lip to keep herself contained so she could listen.
A pause. A fumble. A cough. Then,
"Not my real girlfriend." he explained, "I just need someone to visit me, pretend to be my girlfriend, so Serena is let off easy, and my mom doesn't turn me into tomorrows lunch." Ash tried to rectify, but the news turned Misty's well-earned shock and blush into a stubborn, growing headache.
"I'm going to kill you if she doesn't." Misty threatened under her breath, though luckily a jarred Ash didn't hear it.
"I won't." she replied stoically, rather than her last statement. There was no way she could do that; while Misty was a lot of things; she had a conscious! It wasn't in her nature to lie—especially not to lie for someone else's sake!
"Why!" Ash gasped. "Everyone else said no, too! I need you, Mist! Besides, I already told everyone it was you!"
"Because it's wrong! And that's not my problem!" Misty bellowed once more, suddenly thrice as angry as she once was. "And how dare you ask me that question Ash Bartholomew Ketchum!"
"Calm down, Mist! This is why I asked you last, I swear! I need this huge favor from you; one time, please. That's all I'm asking; you only need to show up for a dinner, meet Serena, then you can go on your way! Please, please!" Ash groaned, borderline begging; actually, who was he kidding, he was begging at this point, given the fact that she hadn't hung up on him yet unlike the rest of his female companions, he still thought that he had a chance.
"I can't believe you would—" "I know someone who can get you a froakie!" Ash gasped, using his last resource—bribery. When the sound of boiling rage quieted to a light simmer, he knew he had her roped, and leaned in desperately the sweeten the deal.
"And I know how busy the gym is, so I will work free of charge for two full weeks before I go to Alola; just help me out here."
Misty cocked one hip to the side, and folded her arms, "Make it sweeter." She demanded and Ash secretly arm-pumped in victory, not that she could see him; but she knew him well enough.
"I will personally introduce you to Professor Sycamore and get you a free round trip to Lumoise City where you can stay at the fanciest hotel in the city free of charge?" He muttered, knowing how sensitive she was to the idea of Kalos culture. She cocked her jaw, then nodded.
"Alright... it's a deal." Misty mumbled in return, nodded her head. Ash threw up his arms believing he won the good fight and was about to poor out his sincere appreciation when Misty licked her lips. "But you are forever in my debt, Ash. When I need a favor, your ass better come running."
Now, had that sentence come from any one of this other friends, Ash wouldn't have been so terrified; but given the situation; whatever Misty could throw at him, he would happily take before admitting to a bold-faced lie and destroying the friendships he built over the last year.
"Done!" Ash exclaimed, and then she hung up without another word. From the couch, Daisy sprung forward, eyes glowing when Misty glared at her.
"Not a word." She warned her older sister before her mouth opened. "Not. A. Word." Misty rephrased sternly, storming away.
Misty knew this was a terrible idea the very moment Daisy was on board for it.
XOXs
Misty didn't dress up; she didn't comb her hair, she barely changed out of her Gym Leader uniform before getting onto the train. She had clear tan lines from hours spent cleaning the outside pool in a bikini that glared pale white in contrast to her slightly tanned features, and yellow tank top. Over the top, she wore a red vest. She sport a pair of traditional jean short-shorts, but long forgo the red suspenders and mid-diff revealing shirts. She did, however, still wear her hair up in the classic side pony-tail; only her hair was much longer, and nearly touched her shoulder when she extended her hand to knock on the door.
The things she did to help her friends. She was either a saint; or really stupid.
She smacked her lips, crossed her feet at the ankles, and even though she was seventeen and female; her approach was still masculine. Years running a gym, and constantly being berated by her sisters to be more 'girly' made her act in much of the opposite direction. It wasn't that she didn't like girly things, they just weren't comfortable, or rational for traveling. Besides; if the time came to flee, she wanted to be as comfortable as possible.
So, when the door opened to reveal a very preppy looking blonde female, sporting an adorable pink frock dress, a red, draped vest, and black stockings, her mouth gaped. Misty didn't need to guess; she knew this was Serena by the way her nose wrinkled when she saw Misty, forming the same immediate judgment that the redhead made the very moment they laid eyes on one another; they were polar opposites.
"You must be Serena." Misty choked out, forcing a smile.
"And you must be Ash's...friend." Misty's head cranked at the tone of her voice—sweet, and so betrayed; she was the one that they would need to sell the situation to, otherwise, Ash and Misty were going to be in Delia's hot-seat, and that wasn't a pleasant place to sit for anyone.
"His girlfriend." Misty corrected awkwardly, extending her hand to shake Serena's. "It's nice to meet you, he...has mentioned so much about you."
"Really? Because I don't remember him calling you when we were traveling." She said quickly, in a way that told Misty that she knew that Ash was lying, and was either at a point where she wanted the truth, or was in complete denial.
Misty swallowed, thinking fast.
"Emails are... a wonderful creation." She lied, quickly bolting past Serena and into the familiar house where she mentally begged to see someone else, anyone else besides the girl Ash was directly lying to.
Misty wasn't a bad person; she felt guilty just looking at Serena. Was Ash blind or something? Serena was gorgeous, and her mannerisms were exquisite! If Misty was in Serena's situation, she might have attacked the alleged girlfriend, not ooze genuine sweetness.
She stepped into the kitchen to see Ash and his long-time companion hovering over Delia's shoulder, watching her mix what Misty smelled was brownies. Her stomach yearned for the sweet taste—that she reminded herself once more that if things went badly, she would be forever denied their chocolate goodness, and so Misty swallowed loudly before clearing her throat to earn the duos attention.
Ash turned nervously, but pikachu sprung from Ash's arms and into Misty's. It was as if looking at her made the fake situation too real, too awkward, and Ash tugged on his collar.
"Pikachu pi!" The pokemon cried his way of saying her name, and she scratched his ears happily.
"I missed you, too pikachu." She oozed while Ash winced; unsure of how to act. Typically, he would greet her the same way he greets all of his old friends; but now, feigning a relationship were they supposed to hug? His eyes flashed to Serena, who seemed to watch skeptically of the events unfolding, and Ash sprung to Misty's side, but didn't touch her.
"You made it." Ash managed, sounding strangled. Awkwardly, he pat her shoulder with a borderline trembling hand that Misty would have mocked, had they not been under a personal 'facade'.
"How was your trip?" his voice was robotic, and Delia's cold gaze fell on Misty seconds later when she kicked Ash hard in the shin so he would spring forward and grab her. His arms lurched around the redheads shoulders and his eyes bugged wide.
"It's good to see you, too, Ash! I missed you!" She exclaimed happily, squeezing him with one arm while pikachu squeaked between them. Once his ear was at the mercy of her lips, she breathed.
"Act natural, stupid." Misty groaned, forcing Ash to jolt away from her, but then forcefully relax. He cranked a smile, though inwardly swore at her for kicking him while Misty formally greeted Delia with a traditional, motherly hug.
When did Misty reach hug status with his mother? Ash would have asked had Serena not stepped to his side.
"I guess you weren't lying. I'm sorry." Serena admit, lowering her hands to her thighs, an action that made Ash feel forever three times more guilty.
Suddenly, lying didn't seem so great anymore when he saw the sad expression on her face. "...yeah." He said unconvincingly, and Serena shot him a look before Delia grabbed them both, and gently shoved them to the living room.
"Come, sit! I'll have snacks ready soon!" Delia gushed, pushing Ash, Misty, and Serena into the living room where Bonnie and Clemont already were. Bonnie sprung to life immediately, taking a verbal and physical dislike to the redhead.
"So you're the girlfriend, huh?" Bonnie hissed, folding her arms skeptically. "You don't look very special to me." She eyed Misty up and down, earning a very agitated eyebrow twitch.
Then, "What do you have that Serena doesn't?"
"Do you want to know why I don't have younger siblings?" Misty cracked coldly, eyes glaring dangerously down to Bonnie. How dare she say that! What a rude little—Ash nudged her hard in the side before Misty could open her mouth and spew venom at the younger trainer.
She then blurted instead: "I mean, ehem, I'm sorry to disappoint." Her words fell between grunts while she rubbed her aching side, and she stormed away from Ash and the small girl in order to fall onto the overly large couch where she kicked her feet up onto the coffee table, then glared at nothing in particular. Froakie, Kalos, and two weeks off were worth this; if she could keep chanting that to herself, she could get through this—she didn't know these three, after all. And more than likely, she would never see any of them again after this.
One day. She told herself. One. Day.
Then Ash took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, and Misty glared at him, gesturing at him to move closer; but he didn't understand her flailing, discrete arms and shrugged at her while pikachu watched with fear for his trainers.
Come here, Misty mouthed, cursing his dull senses. When Ash finally clued in, Bonnie and Serena had taken the space between then; with Bonnie nearly forcing Serena to sit beside Ash, while she took a seat beside Misty.
"You know, Ash never mentioned you before."
"Hmm, funny." The less Misty said, the better. "He's forgetful."
"I am not." Ash barked from his side of the couch. Misty glared briefly, then gazed sweetly at Bonnie—or at least tried too—this little girl had eyes of steel.
"I did some research on you—you're the Cerulean City gym leader aren't you?" Bonnie asked in the same tone a private investigator would ask their prime suspect.
"...I am." Misty stalled, exhaling. "You really didn't mention that?"
"It never came up." Ash spewed, folded his arms defensively.
"It's weird how Ash wouldn't call a friend who is almost considered a water pokemon master when he was having problems with greninja; why is that?"
"Because he's stubborn, bull headed and slightly egotistic?" Misty tossed nonchalantly—if these were the only questions that Bonnie had, this would be a cake walk.
"He's not egotistic." Serena popped in immediately, but then covered her mouth. "...uhm, sorry."
Misty's eyes fell past Bonnie, who was short enough sitting that Misty could see clearly over her head and at Serena who looked at her feet. Ash was shaking his head viciously beside her, but then Misty narrowed her eyes.
"Nah, if you have something to say, might as well just say it."
"I don't have anything to say."
"Really? Because you guys are kind of unnerving." Misty declared, smacking her lips in justification while Ash inhaled, mentally screaming at her to stop making things worse. They only had to sit in silence, have dinner and they could go on their own way.
"What's unnerving is that Ash had a secret girlfriend!" Serena gasped, sitting back to glare into Misty's sea-green eyes. "I mean, how long have you two even been dating?"
"Three years" "Two years" they blurted in unison, then shared a brief, panicked look; reversing the claim—but still messing up.
"Well, is it two or three years? See, you don't even know!" Bonnie barked, throwing up her arms. "I call a fake!" she accused, pointing at Misty who was clearly not amused as Delia walked back in.
"Fake?" The mother echoed, and Ash's ears twitched as he looked over his shoulder at his mother who was carrying an assortment of sweets and drinks for the group. At the corner, working on a project, Clemont looked away, and shook his head—wanting to stay out of this mess.
"It was officially two years ago." Misty grumbled stubbornly, crossing her arms. Followed by a sigh from Ash who added; "But it was technically three years ago."
They then mentally highfived, and Misty repeated her list of opportunities for making it through this day. A pleasant sigh passed through Delia as she walked back into the living room, rest the snacks on the table, and a stewing Bonnie took a seat on a rocking chair beside her brother.
"Oh, good." Delia said. "But why wouldn't you tell me sooner Ash?" Delia asked sweetly, and this time Misty looked past Serena at Ash, who grit his teeth.
Misty visited Delia quite a bit over the last three years—it didn't make sense not to tell the woman since they were already so close to begin with. Ash coughed, and curled his toes in his shoes.
"Can I tell you later?" Ash managed, since it was the only excuse he could manage—plus, that gave him at least a few hours to think of a good reason.
Awestruck, Delia took a moment to refocus. "Yes, of course." She said, looking between Ash and Misty's face with that same sweet gaze—she was unreadable, and Misty cursed that motherly disposition.
"Anyways, why don't you share the story on how you two started dating; it's not every day Ash brings home a girl—let alone one he's known since he was a kid."
Misty saw Serena visibly deflate, but she had her own worries—why did how they started dating matter? Who even asked questioned like that? Oh man, she was not prepared enough for this!
"I need to use the washroom." Misty blurted out simultaneously with Ash, and they looked at each other with a narrowed expression while an awkward silence filled the corners of the room. Neither moved; they couldn't both bail—they were unfortunately in this situation together. Instead, they both sat back down, and while Ash was slowly counting down his days that he had left to live—Misty was rationalizing a story in her mind.
"It was shortly after the Hoenn region." She said quickly. "When he, Brock, May and Max came to Pallet town and we traveled together again for a short time."
"Right! That night before everyone else showed up!" Ash declared boldly, and Misty face palmed with red cheeks while Delia nearly choked on the cookie that she was eating.
Against her better judgment, she rolled with it; but went for some ego shots. "And he cried like a baby about how much he missed traveling with me."
"I did not." He argued quickly. "You were the one who cried." Ash groaned angrily, and then when a short bicker erupted, Delia cooed.
"Aww, that's so sweet." the mother sighed happily. "My son is growing up so fast!"
"Like a weed." Misty mocked sincerely, forcing a smile at Ash that he returned with a venomous frown.
"Can we talk about something else?" Serena suddenly blurted out, realizing that this might not have been the best course of action, after all. Even this, was too painful to listen to.
XOXs
The rest of the evening was spent tossing fake confession after fake confession—the worst was when it came to physical contact, sitting near each other, touching; not fighting. As well as the constant jabs they threw at each other in spiteful retaliation.
By the end of the day, Ash wasn't so sure asking Misty for help had been such a good idea—apparently, he was known as a crier, and she and Serena were best friends now. He couldn't wait for this day to be over with. Where he thought his friends would fiercely judge him for his secret girlfriend, after their initial introduction, the conversations shied away from relationships. They spent more time at professor Oak's lab, where Misty spent more time talking with Gary and Tracey than she did them; and then afterwards, they sat through an awkward dinner; which the mood obviously curbed by Misty constant, overly sweet, mocking disposition.
"Would you like more vegetables dear?"she would croon beside him—though if it hadn't been for her odd gestures; because that's what they were, odd;Ash was pretty sure this facade might have shattered. Time and again they almost broke into their traditional bickering cycles, but Misty always surprised him with some form of affection.
"How are you feeling, Ash?"she would croak before pinching his cheek;
"Let me help you, Ash." She would groan before 'nudging' him; which in Misty terms was shoving him.
And of course the constant physical contact. Did she always touch him so much, or was that just for the occasion? She sat beside him, touched his arm, and generally kept away from his friends if she wasn't helping to embarrass him. Apparently, she couldn't share enough stories about when he was ten, and still a beginning pokemon trainer.
Unfortunately, Clemont, Bonnie, and Serena were interested in the stories, so Ash was the punching bag for Misty's frivolous frustrations of their false relationship.
Ash only had to remind himself that the day was almost over—that the awkward half-truths would end, and then he could go on his marry way to Alola, relax, and worry about paying Misty back later. She was, after all, technically getting in a few good insulting jabs he couldn't respond to right away.
When the time came to say their goodbyes to his Kalos companions, Misty waved oddly from the train station beside Ash; her fingers curled into his uncomfortably sweaty palm, and they forced smiles over their twitching lips as the group departed. They stayed connected only as long as it took for them to board the train—and then their limbs separated like the red sea.
"I should have made you pay me!" She sighed, running her hand over her face.
Ash tossed with a scowl; "I think they call that prostitution."
"Technically you're the 'john'! You totally bribed a woman, me, to be your girlfriend!" Misty croaked to his accusation; with no more ears around, he stomped his foot.
"Well you're the one who accepted the payment." Ash shot back, throwing his arms up while pikachu sighed with an exhausted sigh. Misty followed after the raven-haired trainer.
"Accepting payment doesn't make me a prostitute! Prostitutes are females that are paid for sex!"
Ash's face flushed, "Well never mind then! You're just something else then!"
"Something else? How about a thank you!"
"Thanks for making me look pathetic!" Ash snarled waving his arm at her. Misty's face fell, her features flushed, and her blood boiled while she marched beside him.
"You were the one who asked me to pretend to be your girlfriend! Who even does that?"
"Me, apparently! Besides, it's not like I wanted to—and you could have been a little more decent! I didn't embarrass you"
"Because I wasn't the one in the wrong!" She yelled, about a block from his house, causing Ash to spin in her direction, and stare her down. Since the were kids, Ash was easily her same height, but she didn't back down from his gaze. Instead, she squared her shoulders and glared at him with narrowed eyes. Dirt kicked up around them with a distant wind while pikachu offered a second hand opinion.
"If you have something to say, why don't you tell me what you really thing?" Ash muttered.
"You lied to your friends about having a girlfriend because you were too chicken to reject someone; you haven't changed at all, Ash. You're a little kid who looks for an easy way out of real life problems. What can't be solved with a battle is never faced head on."
Ash cocked his jaw. "Well what would you have done?"
"I would have told her I wasn't ready." She explained, as if speaking from experience "You were the one who lied, you were wrong. Now let's go back and tell your mother the truth so at least I won't have to lie to her anymore." before Ash could stop her, she strolled in the direction of his house, and a slow panic set in.
"Tell my mother?" He gasped. "Misty don't!" Ash argued, following her back to the house; her trot has formed into a slow sprint, and by the time she reached the front door, Ash tackled her through it, struggled through her surprising strength to wrench his hand over her mouth, and grapple her against the floor where she kicked. Banging alerted the mother inside the kitchen who strolled out, holding a planner and a phone.
A look of concern washed over her face at the scene; her son half kneeling, half standing, holding a struggling Misty who curled her fingers around his collar—it looked like something from a horrible romance movie; only, instead of passion in their eyes, there was contrite anger, backed up by a scream from Ash when Misty's teeth clenched the corners of his hand, and forced him up and then off of her.
"I have to tell you something, Delia!" Misty shrieked, Ash bounced back quickly.
"No she doesn't!" Ash lied, rubbing his hand and glaring at the feisty redhead.
Then, clues started clicking in from Delia's appearance, and docile expression. Misty pointed to the notes in her hand, then to Delia's phone while Ash gawked at his mother.
"Oh, I was just telling your father, Ash; oh, and your uncle—they want to meet her. It's so exciting."
Ash's face fell, as did Misty. "What, why are you calling them?" Misty painstakingly asked, her voice pitched.
"Because Ash finally has a girlfriend! Someone to attend the pokemon balls with, and the league mysteries! Oh, my. I've already signed you two up for three events as a couple!" She paused, wiping away a tear. "Get this, there's a couples contest in Alola that I entered you two in." She whined. "Isn't it great?"
"Mom, I need to tell you something." Ash blurted out worriedly, suddenly agreeing that not telling his mother was going to be the death of him.
"What is it, Ash?" Delia said sweetly, lowering the phone from her face to her shoulder to keep the conversation private.
"...Mom, I uh, Misty and I; we...what if I haven't been completely honest with you?" Ash stuttered, watching his mother's face slowly drain of color—sadness washed with disappointment; beaming into Ash's soul like the soul of a dying animal. He jerked, watching her expression soften to concern, then acceptance.
"Yes?" She managed, silencing a sniffle and holding her chest. Misty saw the tears at the corner of her eyes, and she saw the cogs in Ash's head breaking long before they snapped.
"I haven't been honest...I was worried about what my friends would think about me, and I wasn't able to tell the truth because you know how I am about relationship stuff-" Delia lowered the phone, glanced at her paperwork and then shuffled herself back inside. Ash and Misty followed nervously, watching the woman click the phone onto the receiver, and slump into her seat, quietly. She should have expected as much.
"It's alright Ash, I understand; you couldn't tell me the truth because...I'm... I'm." Then the tears—oh the tears.
"Mom it's not that big of a deal..."
"I'm never going to have grand babies and my only son lies to me!" She choked, throwing her head over her arms which rested crisscross on the wooden table, over the plans she had already created for Ash and Misty's life 'together'. Misty pulled on her collar, feeling awkward—she hadn't expected Delia to react like this.
Ash's lower lip quivered, he hated seeing his mother cry—she had, on only a few occasions cried in front of Ash over sadness—or something that he had done, and now he felt worse than he ever had. His heart ached.
"Mom..." Ash started, then in much of the same way he found himself in this situation to begin with; the words fell out of his mouth. "...Misty and I are engaged."
"What." It wasn't a question, it was barely even a comment—no, Misty's voice sounded like the crack of a demon before it snatched and devoured children from their beds. Ash swallowed hard, watching his mother rocket from her seat; full tears flowing.
"Oh my god! Next time start with that, Ash!" Then she cleared the distance from the table to the door frame, wrapped her arms around Ash, and Misty wanted to join in—only, with her hands, around his neck; shaking a little.
"I'm so happy for you; congratulations! You couldn't have picked a better bride." Delia's happiness poured from her mouth, while meanwhile, Ash couldn't form a single coherent thought outside of: Misty is going to kill me.
And she was. The very moment Delia separated, gasping that she needed to alert the news, she spun around on her toes, and fumbled with her phone; desperately trying to punch numbers through her tears so she could tell the world.
"Can I borrow Ash for a minute?" Misty asked, in a strangely calm tone. Delia waved her on as she dragged Ash away from the kitchen, unable to form words in her happiness.
Ash yelped quietly while Misty jabbed and pushed him out the back door. She shut the door behind her, made sure the windows were closed, and then pointed to Ash. The dying sun reflected the rage in her eyes, and she growled.
"What did you do?" Misty hissed, visibly shaking from her anger.
"I don't know, I panicked! I can't stand seeing my mom cry! Did you see how sad she looked."
"You told her we were engaged, Ash! You're not even old enough to get married!" Her thin fingers wrapped around his collar, shaking him violently as she spoke.
"What in the world is wrong with you! I knew this was a terrible decision! I knew it!" Misty bellowed and hissed, taking her frustration out on his jello-like body. How could this have happened? What made this happen.
"You are going to go in there right now and fix this!" Misty screamed, and Ash shook his head aggressively.
"I can't, she has too much power over me."
"I'm about to have power over you when I shove my foot up your ass!" Misty screamed, releasing him from her throttle and dropping him to his ass. He rubbed his head sorely; it wasn't like he wanted to be in this situation, either.
"We can just fake it for a month, and then I can say we are too young, and get out of it! Just wait until she losing interest! I can't watch her cry like that."
"I'm going to kill you!" Misty bellowed grabbing him again when the sudden ruckus echoed through the house.
"Calm down, please calm down!" Ash tried, but while stomping her feet, Misty shouted.
"I don't want to calm down! You said that last time and I fell for it and now look at where we are!"
"It's only my mom that knows! We can tell her not to call anyone and we can still figure this out! We just need to wait until she calms down and then we can act like this never happened!" Ash said rationally, and given the circumstances, an anxious Misty bit down on her lip to calm her nerves.
"You better be right." Misty then lunged him forward, through the back door and back into the hallway where the two of them saw Delia was standing at the front door, talking to someone; a certain someone with an auburn haired grandson and dark green haired assistant.
"There they are! The happy couple!" Professor Oak confessed, waving at Ash and Misty who's faces were stuck at permanent shock—Delia worked fast, apparently.
"Ash?" Misty said threateningly.
"...Yeah Mist?"
"You better run." At least she had the decency to warn him.
"Gotcha." Then he ran, and Misty was at his heels, shrieking obscenities at him.
This was it, Ash's life was over.
Author's Note:
Ahh, more of Ash's antics -gets shot-
This turned out to be a lot longer than I thought it would be. Upon the change this ever became a full story, it would be way more fleshed out, and not so rushed (because there are a ton of ideas) I just didn't want to cram everything into a one-shot, I suppose. They get too long otherwise. I THINK, the idea would be the same "Misty pretends to be Ash's girlfriend" but I would change the scenario in a bunch of ways. Man, I've already almost convinced myself, this was hilariously fun to write.
In my brain, I feel like things have a way of spiraling; if you lie once, the lie only gets bigger until the truth is told—when you throw in a crazy author and terrible antics, you end up with something like this.
Let me know what you guys think?