An idea

by NancyMay

What if Jean never went to Adelaide? What if Lucien had a better idea?

15. Chapter 15

Alice stayed at the Blake's for the rest of the week. Jean let her set her own pace for her recovery and Alice was surprised at how much she appreciated being looked after. It was the first time she could remember being able to be ill without being told she was weak or lazy. Since she was a child she had battled through everything from a cold to mumps, which had hit her harder than it would have if she had had loving and caring parents. Still that was in the past, a past she didn't intend revisiting anytime soon.

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Jean helped Alice put her things in the small holdall and Alice helped Jean strip the bed and put the laundry in the basket ready for the next time the twin tub was going.

'Thank you, for everything, Jean.' Alice sipped her final cup of tea as a houseguest. 'I suppose Lucien was right, I needed looking after.'

'It was my pleasure, Alice.' Jean smiled, 'you are always welcome here, even when you're not ill.'

Alice smiled. 'Well I suppose I'd best get home and see if there's anything that needs doing.'

'Put everything on the pram tray.' Jean took the cups to the sink and washed them up.

'Oh no, that's alright.' Alice knew she carry her bag quite easily, it wasn't far.

'Don't be silly,' Jean didn't turn, 'I've made you a casserole and there some milk, bread and butter to go too. You can't carry everything.'

'Oh Jean, you shouldn't have!' Alice gasped at her friend's generosity.

'Don't be silly,' Jean teased, 'any milk you left in the fridge will have turned and the bread will be like a brick. Now come on, while Amelia's asleep.' She finished the washing up and put the things away.

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Jean smiled as she left Alice at her house. The milk had, indeed, turned and one or two other things were inedible, or dangerous to the pathologist's health. Although Jean did say she could always do some experiments with them! Alice just raised her eyebrows and threw the spoiled food out.

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The day was pleasant, so instead of going straight home Jean headed into town and window shopped, idly, until Amelia began to stir in the pram. She needed to get her home and fed, as she had started to introduce the idea of solid food to her soon to be adopted daughter. Amelia was showing interest in new tastes and textures in her mouth and Jean hoped she would be as receptive as her sons had been.

Christopher was due in a couple of days and she was looking forward to seeing him, although she was a little nervous too. She and Lucien kept him apprised of Ruby's progress such as it was, whenever he rang, which she had to admit wasn't too often. The emotional distance upset Jean and more than once she had become agitated. On one occasion so much so that Lucien had spoken to Christopher about it. Reminding him that his mother was still just that, his mother, and loved him in spite of everything. There had been a heated exchange between the two men in which Christopher told the doctor that it was between him and his mother. Lucien told him he was ungrateful and thoughtless. It had been over a week before Christopher had dared phone again and it was then he had asked if he could come over and see them.

Jean had said he was welcome anytime but had, for once, confided in Lucien that she was uncertain about the visit. He had held her and kissed her and assured her that everything would be fine and if she found it too much to take Amelia for a walk or hide in the sunroom.

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Amelia fed, the guest room made up, again, Jean found she had some time to herself and decided she would try and finish the little cardigan she was knitting for the baby. She was growing and some of the things she had knitted when Amelia was expected were becoming a little snug.

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Lucien pulled up on the drive and sighed. The autopsy had been saddening. A young woman, beaten to a pulp by her thug of a husband out of pure jealously. He had seen her talking to a young man in town, someone he didn't know and assumed, quite wrongly, that she was having an affair. Being somewhat older than his wife he was always certain that she would run off with a man of her own age. In fact it was an old school friend she had bumped into, someone she hadn't seen since their school days. He had come from Canberra to see his parents for their wedding anniversary and stayed for the week. Seeing the case in the papers he had gone to the police station and told them he had seen her and had a short conversation with her, promising to meet up with her for a cuppa in a cafe and a longer reminisce.

'Honestly, superintendant,' he had said when interviewed, 'what idiot conducts an affair with someone so openly?'

Matthew had nodded,

'If I wanted to have an affair with Lucy, I'd have taken her out of town, not somewhere we could be seen.'

The husband had admitted he had seen the two talking and laughing and put two and two together, and made five. His temper had got the better of him and instead of talking to her about it he had hit her, repeatedly. He was taken to the cells and the case prepared for court.

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The only sound in the house was the radio. Lucien assumed Amelia was having a nap and Jean would be somewhere in the house. He put his hat on the peg and his bag under the hall table and headed towards the kitchen; always the best place to start when looking for his lovely wife. He pulled up short at the empty room then turned to look into the living room. She was on the couch, her knitting in her lap, her head dropped forward. Tiptoeing over to her he saw she had fallen asleep. While she looked sweet it also concerned him, Jean did not usually take a nap in the afternoon. Had having Alice in the house been too much? With a small baby and two lodgers, he admitted to himself it could have been more than she could cope with. Unless she was unwell. He ghosted his hand over her forehead, but she was not feverish. Gently, he lifted the knitting and placed it on the coffee table before lifting her into his arms and carrying her into the bedroom, where he lay her on the bed and covered her with a light blanket. She muttered something and shifted, but did not wake. He kissed her lightly on the forehead and left her to her slumber.

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Lucien was in the study dealing with his correspondence and checking patient files when there was a gentle knock on the door.

'Jean?' He got up and went to open the door. 'Hello, darling.' He took the tea tray off her and bent to kiss her cheek.

'Lucien,' she looked shame faced, 'I'm sorry, I must have dozed off. What time did you get back?'

'Two-ish.' He smiled and took the tray to his desk where he rested it, 'are you alright?'

'Fine,' she started to smile in spite of her embarrassment, 'must be tired.'

'It's not like you to have a nap in the day, is it?' He held out his hand to her and pulled her into an embrace. 'I was a little worried, but you didn't have a temperature.'

'No, and I'm sleeping well,' she lay her head against his chest, hearing that familiar, soothing beat of his heart, 'well, most of the time,' she added with a cheeky smile.

'Perhaps we should take it a little easier, not be so...'

'...or we could start earlier.' She giggled.

'Mrs Blake!' He gasped, 'such behaviour!'

'Oh, not interested?' She pushed lightly against his chest.

'We could start now.' He smiled, tipping her face to his, his blue eyes twinkling.

Her hand snaked up to the back of his neck and pulled his face down to hers and they started to kiss, slowly, tentatively at first then deepening the connection, tasting each other, Lucien's hands starting to wander down Jean's back to her bottom pulling her against him so she could feel his growing need.

Amelia's cry interrupted then, the first time she had done so, and Jean laughed.

'Makes a change from the phone,' she kissed him lightly, and went to see to the baby, noting his sulky pout. 'Later,' she blew him a kiss and left to attend to the baby.

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Jean settled Amelia in the pram and went to start preparing the dinner. As she peeled the vegetables she wondered about the nap she had taken. She had felt a little tired while Alice was there, but she couldn't understand why. Alice was no trouble, Mattie and Charlie helped out, as usual, perhaps it was lack of sleep. Oh well, no matter, it's not as if a patient had caught her napping, just Lucien, and there was no surgery.

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Jean excused herself early that night. She was having trouble keeping her eyes open and had dropped three stitches in her knitting. She was fast asleep when Lucien joined her. He smiled and changed into his pyjamas before getting in beside her and drawing her to him. She snuffled against his chest, something he found endearing, and he watched her for a while until sleep claimed him also and they both slept soundly until dawn.

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Lucien woke first and noted the time. He slipped out of bed and out of the room. He checked Amelia, who was stirring so he picked her up before she could wake his still slumbering wife.

'Shh, miss.' He whispered, 'grandma's still sleeping.'

He took her into the kitchen and started to boil the kettle to warm her milk and make some tea. Carrying everything back to the bedroom would be tricky but he reckoned he could manage it if he used a lighter tray, they had plenty, his hands were strong, Jean had often commented on it.

Cradling the baby in one arm he carefully picked up the tray and headed to the bedroom. He pushed the door open with his backside and smiled as he saw Jean had woken and was lying staring up at the ceiling, obviously deep in thought.

'Morning, sweetheart,' he smiled, 'sleep well?'

'Mmm...very,' she turned and smiled, then seeing he was rather loaded down sat up and held her arms out for the tray.

'I didn't hear her,' she said as she placed the tray near the foot of the bed.

'I caught her before she started,' Lucien went round to the other side of the bed and picked the bottle up and began to feed her.

Jean poured tea and sat quietly drinking, watching Lucien with Amelia she wondered if they had met earlier would things have been different? Would that be their own child in his arms?

'Jean. Jean?' His questioning voice brought her back to the present.

'Hm?' She smiled, 'sorry, miles away.'

'Penny for them.' He murmured.

'It's nothing,' she leant back, 'can I leave her with you while I shower?'

'You've got time to have a bath if you want.' He put the now empty bottle down, 'there's no rush.'

'Thank you,' she leant over and kissed him and Amelia and headed to the bathroom.

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She tied her hair out of the way with a blue ribbon as the bath filled, and cleaned her teeth. Slipping into the warm water she hummed to herself and lay down against the end of the bath. The image of Lucien cradling the baby came back to her as she lay there with her eyes closed and she found herself wishing more than ever that Amelia was theirs by birth. It was a few minutes before she realised tears were sliding down her cheeks.

'Don't be silly, you're too old,' she told herself, 'just be grateful for what you've got.' She grabbed the sponge and soaped herself over rubbing quite vigorously to shake herself out of the emotional mess she seemed to be in. She had just splashed water over her face when she heard the distant ring of the phone.

'Drat!' She snapped, and pulled the plug as she got out of the tub and grabbed a towel. She dried quickly and put her robe on before going back into the bedroom to dress.

She could hear Lucien on the phone, but not what he was saying, as she slipped into her underwear then pulled one of her newer shift dresses over her head. He came back in as she was applying her makeup.

'Oh, you've finished.' He noted, 'that was Matthew.'

'I heard it ring,' she turned, lipstick in hand, 'leave her on the bed while you dress.'

'Sorry, I thought maybe we could have had some time together today.' He kissed the top of her head as he headed to the bathroom.

'Friday?' She asked, 'we're going to see Ruby, remember.'

'Christopher will be with us,' knowing precisely what she meant, 'we can't really stop off at the cabin with him as well.'

'Of course,' she looked really quite disappointed, 'I'd forgotten.'

He watched her, there was something bothering her, he thought.

'Jean, is something wrong?' He went back over to her, 'you look worried.'

'I'm fine, Lucien.' She smiled, but it was a half hearted smile, 'really, now go, or you'll have Matthew breaking down the door.'

He kissed her again and went back into the bathroom.

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While Lucien autopsied the body of a forty year old woman, found in her front garden, Jean bathed and fed Amelia, did some gardening, some light housework and made lunch. It was an ordinary day, but there was still that silly thought in the back of her mind. Perhaps it was because Christopher was due that evening and would stay until they had been to see Ruby. Probably.

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Lucien arrived back for lunch and for surgery. Jean looked happier than when he had left her, but he still wanted to know if there was something bothering her. Perhaps she'd open up when they were in bed, that night.

'I managed to nip into the solicitor's,' he washed his plate up while she fed Amelia, 'Christopher needs to sign the papers while he's here.'

Jean adjusted her hold on Amelia's bottle so she could support it with one hand and picked up the official document. She started to read it. Full of ridiculous long words about the guardianship of her granddaughter. Why couldn't they just write in plain English?

'I take it we all have to sign it?' Jean asked flicking over to the second page.

'Yes,' he dried his hands and went to sit with her. 'All it means is that you and I have control or custody of Amelia. We choose her schools, her medical care is our responsibility,.'

'And Christopher?' Jean asked, her eyes beginning to fill with tears, 'does he have a say?'

'He can object to anything we do,' Lucien took her hand in his and kissed it, 'but if he does it means court. I thought he might feel he has some control, that he hasn't lost her completely if we do it this way.'

'I see,' Jean thought she saw why Lucien had done it this way, 'so we are her guardians, not her parents?'

'Really, yes. Although she will grow up knowing us as mummy and daddy or whatever she chooses to call us.'

'If Christopher doesn't agree to it?'

'I have adoption papers as well.' He took another document from under the one she was reading, 'I thought we should give him the choice. We can either be her guardians or her adoptive parents.'

'Ok.' Jean sat back and took better control of Amelia's bottle, which was nearly empty.

'Do you have a preference?' Lucien asked, sensing her concerns.

'I would prefer to adopt her, as our child.' Jean said quietly, 'does that sound selfish?'

'Not at all.' Lucien smiled gently, 'she would still see Christopher, but not know him as her father. It might be easier to explain to her when she's older. Just that we are her grandparents, and her mother was taken ill and couldn't care for her and her father was a soldier and wanted her to be safe.'

'I think that would be better.' Jean mused, 'more settled. A child needs to be secure, to feel secure. We are only adopting her because we love her.'

'In that case,' Lucien picked up the guardianship papers, 'let's not give him the option. We did tell him we would adopt her, anyway.'

Jean smiled a little more widely this time. 'I think that would be best, I know what he can be like if he doesn't get his own way. He was the one I always thought would be the stronger one, but I don't think that's true. I thought he was more like me, but he isn't, I'm not sure who he's like, really.'

'He's a mix of his parents.' Lucien smiled. 'Now, I'm afraid I'll have to get ready for surgery, but is there anything else?' Hoping she'd open up about whatever was bothering her.

'No, I'll just settle madam, then I'll be ready.'

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Surgery passed off without incident, Agnes Clasby was the last patient and as usual she ribbed Lucien about Amelia, being a parent at his age. Jean heard her and laughed, but it was a hollow laugh.

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Christopher arrived as Jean was putting the finishing touches to a roast chicken. The smell drifted up the hall way to the door, and reminded him of his childhood.

'Hello, mum.' He said quietly, bending to kiss her cheek.

'Hello, Christopher, come in.' She stood aside, 'pop your things in the guest room, it's all ready for you.'

'Thank you.'

'Come into the kitchen when you're ready.' She headed back to the kitchen to continue with her task more nervous than she had been at lunch, which, she told herself, was ridiculous.

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Charlie and Mattie had decided to make themselves scarce for the evening had were going to the pictures and then to a small restaurant in town. Jean wasn't sure whether she was grateful or not, having extra people around would mean that any discussions would be restrained if held at all, but without them...

Christopher commented on how much his daughter had grown as he watched Jean give her a bottle and settle her for the evening. He didn't volunteer to do the feed, or hold her, and declined, politely, when Jean offered her to him.

Lucien could see how hurt she was but they had decided they would deal with the paperwork that evening, get it over with. He waited until Jean was in the nursery and took Christopher to his study.

'Christopher,' he indicated the young man should sit down, 'as you remember Jean and I have offered to raise Amelia as our own child.'

Christopher nodded.

'I have consulted our solicitor to put in place a formal adoption to prevent any problems with that. We do not believe that just having Amelia live with us without some form of legality put in place is in her best interests. At the same time we acknowledge that she is your daughter and you have rights too.' Lucien watched the younger man think about this.

'I honestly haven't thought about any legal implications, doctor,' Christopher said, 'I am more than happy for you and mum to raise Amelia, I know she will be safe and loved here, with you. I know she is my daughter and always will be but I have no way of looking after her, and I wouldn't know how to. So what does it actually mean? I take it I have no control over her education or medical care. And if you decide to move or leave the country you would be able to take her with you, if I allow you to adopt her as your own.'

'Exactly, though we would not take her out of the country without telling you.'

'That's nice to know,' Christopher grunted.

'Christopher, this is Amelia, your daughter.' Lucien recognised the snipe for what it was, 'we are not trying to drive you into a corner, if you don't want us to adopt her, fine, but we can still become her legal guardians.'

'What's the difference?'

'If we are her guardians you are still legally responsible for her financial support and she retains right of inheritance should either you or Ruby die without making wills, though in Ruby's case we have a problem. If we adopt her you have no financial responsibility, she has no claim on you.' Lucien had got all the information from his solicitor.

'But I can still see her, if you adopt?' Christopher asked.

'Yes, whenever you want, but you will become an uncle or a big brother,' Lucien smiled, 'it's still family, whichever way you look at it.' He sat back in his chair and waited.

'I suppose that if I agree to the adoption she will be more secure, settled.' Christopher mused, that, and the fact that he was already paying towards Ruby's keep he would at least be able to live. He wasn't sure if his mother and her husband would expect him to contribute to Amelia's keep if he kept it to guardianship.

'I leave the decision to you, Christopher, you are her father.' Lucien watched him mull over the options. He knew that adoption made financial sense though he would not ask him to contribute to Amelia's keep if he kept it to guardianship. But, if anything were to happen to him Jean may need financial help, though he had put in place such matters that would make that unnecessary.

'Adoption, doctor.' Christopher said firmly. 'Adoption would be best.'

'If you're sure.' Lucien said quietly.

'I am.'

'Well, in that case,' Lucien pulled out the documents, 'you need to sign here, I'll sign here and Jean will sign here.'

'Don't we need a witness?' Christopher asked, surprised.

'Not for adoption,' Lucien said, 'but if you want to wait for Charlie or Mattie we can ask them to countersign, if you like.'

'No, I suppose not.'

'Christopher, if you are uncomfortable it's not a problem.' Lucien leaned forward in his chair, 'I don't want you to feel coerced into anything. We can even go to the solicitor in the morning if you like.'

'No, it's ok, doctor,' Christopher felt cornered and Lucien could see it.

'Right,' he took the document away, 'I'll ring the solicitor in the morning, with luck we'll be able to get in and sign it and that will be it.'

'Doctor, I didn't mean...!' Christopher reached out for the paper.

'Christopher, stop.' Lucien stood up, 'we'll do this in the presence of the solicitor, in the morning. Now, let's join Jean and have a drink.'

Lucien's tone said the discussion was over. He wasn't angry, in fact he was a little impressed that Christopher was determined that it should be done properly.

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Jean looked up from her knitting as the two men came out of the study. She wasn't bothered that she hadn't been asked to sign anything, she could do that anytime, Lucien had said.

'Is she settled?' Lucien bent down and kissed her.

'Yes, fast asleep,' Jean smiled, 'she should go through.'

'Good.' Lucien poured whisky for himself and Christopher and sherry for Jean.

'Does she sleep through?' Christopher asked.

'Usually,' Jean smiled, 'there are occasions when she doesn't but not often.'

'...and that's normal?' He enquired.

'As normal as it gets. They're all different. You slept through almost from the start, Jack took longer, about six months longer.' She smiled and returned to her knitting.

Lucien swirled his whisky round and watched her. She was so much more guarded than usual. Alright, he couldn't expect her to sit on his knee or indulge in some passionate kissing, but she seemed distant, certainly from Christopher and maybe a little from him. She looked up and smiled at him.

'I'm sorry, gentlemen,' Jean pushed the knitting needles through the ball of wool, 'I'm afraid I'm rather tired, I think I'll head to bed.'

Christopher and Lucien both stood, politely. She kissed her son's cheek and her husband's lips and headed to the bedroom. She really did feel more tired than usual, but she put it down to stress, even though she still thought that was silly.

Christopher retired soon after without having resumed a conversation with the doctor who also retired after washing the glasses. He noticed that Jean hadn't touched her sherry so threw that down the sink.

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He thought she was asleep until he noticed her shoulder shake. He stepped over to the bed and sat down gently, he was right, she was crying.

Although he had seen Jean cry, usually because he had done something stupid, and certainly over Ruby and Christopher, but he couldn't for the life of him think why she should be crying now.

He reached out and touched the shaking shoulder,

Jean, darling?' His voice was low, soft and soothing, 'what's the matter?'

She turned her tear streaked face to him and pushed herself up almost diving into his arms, burying her face in his chest and clinging to him. He wrapped his arms round her and rocked her, kissing the top of her head and telling her everything would be alright, even though he still didn't know what was wrong.

Her sobs began to subside and she began to relax, pulling away just enough to tip her face up to him.

'Sorry,' she sniffed.

'What's wrong, sweetheart?' He kissed her forehead.

'I don't really know.' She whispered, 'I'm tired, and I don't think I know my son anymore.'

'I must admit I can't get much out of him.'

'Did he sign the papers?'

'He seemed concerned that the signatures weren't going to be witnessed, so I said we'd see the solicitor tomorrow and do it there.'

'Oh.' She looked surprised, 'I thought that was what he wanted.'

'It is, I think he's worried that without a witness it could be contested, or dismissed as coercion. '

She had no answer to that.

'I'll just get changed and be right with you,' he kissed her lips, gently but with the longing for her that she recognised.

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Lucien held her close that night, and kissed her. At first he wondered just how tired she was but when she responded to his kisses and encouraged him to deepen them he felt that maybe she wasn't too tired after all.

She ran her hands over his bare chest, he hadn't bothered with his pyjama top; he rarely did these days; relishing the feel of his strong muscles beneath her palm. He pulled her close, nuzzling into her hair and feeling the raised nipples beneath her nightdress.

His hands slid down her side, over her bottom and under the silky fabric finding smooth, soft skin and raised nipples under his thumb as he cupped a breast.

She could feel his hardness against her belly and ran her hands over his hip pulling the pyjama bottoms down and grabbing handfuls of his buttocks as she tried to position herself to receive his manhood.

He pushed her nightdress up and rolled over onto his back pulling her on top of him . As he held her she guided him in with her hand and set up a steady rhythm which became more urgent until she tightened in release and arched her back in sheer pleasure.

She looked down on him still gasping for air and smiled, then fell onto his chest, satisfied.

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Amelia woke them all in the morning, giving vent to her feelings that her morning bottle was not forthcoming immediately.

Jean got up and picked her out of the cot, holding her close and kissing the light curls that were appearing.

'Come on, miss,' she whispered, 'before you wake the whole street.'

She warmed the bottle, and made tea for herself and Lucien. Not being able to carry both the baby and the tray she took Amelia and the bottle into the bedroom and left her with her husband who also had woken, then returned to the kitchen for the tea tray.

They sat together and discussed what they had to do that day.

'I'll ring the solicitor as soon as possible.' Lucien said, putting Amelia's empty bottle on the tray and reaching over with his hand to stroke her back.

'Ok.' Jean still didn't know what to make of what had happened the previous night, over the papers, she was worried Christopher was having second thoughts.

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Lucien made the phone call and arranged that they would sign the papers before they went to see Ruby, then head out to Mount Clear.

As Christopher watched his mother bustle around the kitchen he felt he was a stranger, just a visitor. His mother did not stand on ceremony when he stayed there, but he still didn't feel as comfortable as he had in the past. She was different, possibly because of her marriage, she seemed faraway.

'Mum,' he asked tentatively, 'would it be alright if you dropped me off at the station after we've seen Ruby?'

'I thought you were staying another night?' Jean turned, surprised.

'I wasn't sure, and you've enough to do.' It was a lame excuse he knew, but really he wanted to be out of the place and away.

'It's not a problem, really,' Jean insisted.

'No I'll head off back.' Christopher took his plate to the sink, 'I have an early start on Saturday anyway.'

'Oh, alright then.' She was confused, if he had an early start on Saturday why hadn't he said so in the first place. She really needed to get to the cabin.

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Lucien found her in the bedroom hastily putting things in the case they used for the cabin. Most things were already in it, bed linen and nappies. All Jean ever had to do was put in a change of clothes and toiletries.

'Jean?'

'Christopher wants dropping off at the station,' she didn't turn, knowing if she did she'd burst into tears, 'I thought we might as well go to the cabin afterwards, stay overnight.'

Instantly Lucien knew she was right, the cabin was where she was free from social niceties, the need to clothe herself properly at all times, and where she could cry, if she wanted to, without Charlie or Mattie becoming concerned, which he was certain was going to happen.

'Of course,' he smiled at her busy back, 'can I help you with anything?'

'Just pass me your toiletries from the bathroom, I'm almost done.' She sighed with relief, he was becoming more perceptive, more knowing of her needs as time went on.

Lucien did as he was asked and, when she closed the case, took it directly to the car. The only people who needed to know were Charlie and Mattie, who were used to their little trips by now.

While Lucien put the case in the car, together with a bag of things for Ruby, some toiletries and cosmetics and the extra art materials she had requested, Jean put some food stuffs in a new cool box they had bought for the times they went to the cabin. It kept the food fresher for longer. She left a note for Mattie, telling her to get some more bacon and eggs, and to take something out of the freezer for her and Charlie's dinner.

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The solicitor was more than happy to see them and quite un fazed about the young man's need to have the signing of the adoption papers witnessed. It was completed in seconds, to Jean's mind and Amelia was now her daughter. She found it cold and clinical, something that should be a warm moment. She buried her face in the baby's neck to ward off any tears as they left the office and headed out to Mount Clear.

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Mrs Arthur greeted them as usual and they went into her office to talk about Ruby. She addressed herself to Christopher quite a lot, but he was monosyllabic in his responses, so she gave the doctor the updates.

'She's doing so well, Dr Blake.' She smiled, 'and you should see some of the paintings she's done, they really are very good.'

'I look forward to it.' He smiled.

'She knows you are coming today and Jean and the baby, and is looking forward to your visit. I have told her that you,' she turned to Christopher, 'are a friend of the family.'

'Right.' Was all he could say.

'Shall we go?' She stood up and opened the door.

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Ruby, as usual was at her easel in the painting room.

'Ruby, dear.' Mrs Arthur caught her attention, 'your visitors are here.'

Ruby turned, and Christopher saw a little girl, with blond curls, tied up with a blue ribbon out of the way. She looked better than when he had last seen her, but he supposed that was only to be expected. He felt no connection to her, she was just one of the doctor's patients.

'Dr Blake.' Ruby smiled, 'how nice to see you.'

'Hello Ruby,' Lucien held out his hand to her, 'how are you this fine day?'

'I'm very well, I believe.' She told him accepting his hand, remembering he would check her over in the living room as he always did.

'Hello, Jean.' She turned to Jean, 'and Amelia.'

'Hello Ruby,' Jean smiled, 'I like your ribbon.'

'Thank you.' Ruby put her hand to the item in her hair, 'mother says it will stop me dragging my hair in the paint.'

'A good idea.' Jean agreed. 'Can I look at your paintings while Dr Blake checks you over.'

'Oh, would you mind waiting, please?' Ruby looked worried for a moment, 'I have something special I want to show you.'

'Of course, dear.'

While they were gone, Jean explained to Christopher that this was where Ruby spent the majority of her time. She painted portraits, landscapes, animals, anything that caught her fancy really. Christopher stood with his hands in his pockets staring out of the window. It seemed to him that Ruby had the biggest space in the room, was this because of the doctor?

'I didn't know she had any ability.' Christopher spoke but didn't turn.

'Well, Lucien thinks that whatever happened to her released something,' Jean tried to explain, 'to fill the space where her memory should be.'

'Oh.'

They were disturbed by the giggling of Ruby as Lucien said something to her as they came back into the room.

'All done, dear?' Jean asked, as if she was speaking to a child.

'Yes, Dr Blake says I am doing nicely.'

'Good, I'm please to hear it.'

'Now, I said I had something to show you.' Ruby picked up her discarded artist's smock Jean had made her, to preserve her clothing while she was painting, and went over to the paintings leaning against a wall. She flicked through then and then drew one out from the middle of the stack. She held it facing herself and stood looking at them.

'This is for you, for being so nice to me and coming to see me.' She turned the painting round and they gasped. It was a picture of three heads, a painted sketch, of Jean and Amelia; Jean in the middle of the canvas looking at Amelia but close as if she was holding the baby. In the top corner was Lucien looking down at both of them, a loving look on his face. It was truly beautiful.

'Ruby,' Jean whispered, fighting back the tears, 'it's beautiful.'

'Thank you.'

Lucien just stood there, in awe at the skilful way she had handled the paint, simple muted tones of browns and ochre, highlighted with white and defined with quick flicks of black.

'Incredible.' He breathed, 'Ruby you are very talented.'

'Thank you.' She beamed under his praise. 'Now you can look at the rest of them, if you still want to.'

'We'd love to.' And they spent a happy hour or so, looking through the paintings and sketches she had done over the weeks. Some preparatory sketches for paintings she would do later, including a self portrait.

'You know, Ruby.' Lucien said, while looking at a painting of a young man, 'you should show these to other people, have an exhibition.'

'What's an exhibition?' She asked simply.

He explained, and even suggested people might like to buy her paintings.

'What would I do with the money, doctor, I don't go to the shops?'

'Well, it could be used to buy more materials,' he suggested.

'Then you wouldn't have to buy them?'

'I don't mind buying you art things, Ruby,' He smiled and touched her arm, 'I told you, anything you want for your art works, I would get for you, that's not a problem, and never will be.'

'Could I give some to Mother?' She asked, 'she buys my food.'

'You could.' He agreed, 'Shall I talk to mother about an exhibition, perhaps some of your friends could show their work too?' Lucien asked.

'I think that would be a good idea, doctor.' She turned back and started to paint, which Jean and Lucien knew meant she was asking them to leave. She could take only so much of their visits, even if she enjoyed them, but this one had been particularly long and she was a little unnerved by the silent man that had come with him.

'We'll see you again, soon, Ruby.' Jean went over and kissed her, 'and I'll see if I've got any more ribbon, for your hair.'

'Thank you, Jean.' Ruby didn't turn, but did smile.

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In the car, on the way to the station Lucien talked about possibly organising an exhibition of not only Ruby's work but some of the other things they produced. One of the men was a sculptor, a little out of the ordinary but interesting work all the same, it could be a way of raising much needed funds for the home.

'She looks...well.' Christopher muttered.

'She is, very healthy,' Lucien agreed, 'and happy.'

'Yes.' Christopher stared out of the window.

Jean didn't think he'd come again.

At the station Lucien took Christopher's bag out of the boot of the car, he noticed the bag and cool box.

'Going away, doctor?' Christopher asked.

'We quite often go up to the cabin, if we can,' Lucien closed the boot, thinking it was none of his business, 'Jean likes the peace in the park.'

'Oh,' Christopher knew they had a cabin in the woods, so it seemed reasonable, he supposed. He said good bye to his mother and kissed her cheek, and walked across the station.

As he pulled out onto the road and turned towards Lerderderg Park he could see she was barely holding her emotions in.

He carried on driving, not wanting to promote the tears he knew she needed to shed, but also worried she would break if she didn't. He risked a glance out of the corner of his eye and relaxed a little as he saw the tears begin to flow. He reached over and squeezed her arm, just to let her know he was there.

As soon as he found a suitable place to pull over he did so, and turned off the engine.

'Jean,' He reached over and turned her face to his. 'It's ok, I understand.'

'Do you?' She looked at him feeling his words were just that, words.

'When I went to see Li, in China, she rejected me, as you know.' He reminded her of the problems he had assuring Li he loved her and respected her choice of remaining in China and not coming to Australia. He also told her how he kept in touch, in spite of Munro's attempts to stop him, and, while it was hard to know they no longer had the father daughter connection he would have liked, they had at least become friends. 'Christopher may only be a friend, instead of the loving son you hoped he would remain, but people change. I'm sure that this visit has given him more to think about than he thought, including how he goes forward in his life. He's married to a woman who is no longer capable of looking after herself, or being his wife. She is living away from him for good reason, but, think Jean, he no longer has a marriage but is still married. He's young, he should be living a full life with those who love him and those he loves, but I'm sure that, at the moment he feels trapped in limbo.'

'I suppose you're right,' she sniffed and took the handkerchief he offered, 'it's just that he seems so far away, even when he stands right next to me.'

'I know, love.' He leaned over and kissed her. 'Now, I suggest we get to the cabin and I'll let you take out your feelings on the wood with an axe, eh?'

'You trust me with an axe, when I'm upset?' She smiled a small smile.

'Oh, me and Amelia will be locked in the cabin,' he laughed, 'I trust you.'

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True to his word he let her take out her feelings on the wood while he dealt with Amelia and set up the cabin, made the bed, boiled the kettle with the wood they had left. He filled the bowl they used for washing with the hot water then boiled another kettleful for tea and to top up the basin. He had just finished making the tea when she came into the cabin, he'd not locked to door, pink and glowing from her exertions.

'Better?' He asked.

'Much,' she smiled, wiping the back of her hand against her forehead. 'I think I need a wash, though.'

'Bowl of warm water for you there,' he pointed at the still steaming water, 'Amelia's been fed and is sleeping, the bed's made...'

'Thank you.' Jean started to unbutton her blouse. In the cabin she didn't worry about having a strip wash in front of him, it seemed completely normal. She pulled her slip free of her skirt and took it off and stood there in her bra and skirt.

Jean wiped her face and then moved the flannel down her upper arms and under her armpits. She put the flannel back in the water and swirled it round, squeezing it ready to wash her neck. She hadn't notice Lucien slip behind her but as she put the flannel round the back of her neck he took it from her and gently started to wipe the nape of her neck, her shoulders and across her back. With his other hand he undid her bra and slipped it off her shoulders, running the flannel down her back and then round to her breasts, stroking the flannel over her nipples and feeling them harden even through the cloth. She leant back against him and felt his naked chest against her skin, warm and strong. She hummed and closed her eyes, savouring his touch. He dropped the flannel into the bowl and undid her skirt, sliding it over her hips to the floor. She turned to face him and slid her hands down to his trousers, noting his desire and looking at him from beneath her lashes. She undid the zip and clip of his trousers and they fell to the ground as they began to kiss, slowly, then passionately until Lucien picked her up and carried her to the bed, finishing his disrobing of his adorable Jean, then kissing every part of her he could, slipping his hands down and finding her ready for him.

She pulled him down and he entered her slowly, then the rhythm began, he looked down at her, into those startling blue green eyes widening, her breathing becoming harder until she arched and cried out in release, holding him with her ankles until she had to let go. She lay on her back, her head turned to him as he stroked his finger down the centre of her body and leaning over to kiss her breasts. He watched his finger circle her belly button then stopped. He traced his finger further down and smiled,

'That explains a lot.' He whispered.

'What?' She was watching his face, his eyes were filling with tears.

'This.' He ran his finger down from her belly button again. She lifted her head to see what he was talking about. She couldn't see anything different, but then his hand was in the way. 'Linea nigra.' He looked into her eyes, 'your emotions running a bit wild, crying over things you wouldn't usually, tired...darling girl, you're with child.'

'Lucien...' she was about to tell him not to be so silly, then thought, 'really?'

'Positive.' He kissed her gently.

'But...I'm forty six, a grandmother...Lucien. I thought it was the change of life.' She sat up and looked down at her stomach, and she could now see the dark line. It had appeared early with the boys too.

Lucien sat up and pulled her so she was lying on his chest, then pulled the covers over her.

'When did you last...you know?' He was holding a consultation with a naked woman in a bed in a cabin in the woods, how surreal, he thought.

'I suppose I've missed at least two cycles, but given my age I didn't think...oh, Lucien, our own child.' She tipped her head and kissed his chin, it was as far as she could reach. 'I never thought, daren't hope. We've never taken any precautions.'

'No, I suppose we're lucky I didn't get you into trouble.' He looked down at her, her eyes were shining with happiness, 'are you ok, about a baby, I mean?'

'Of course.'

'I'll have to take care of you.'

'You always do.' She smiled, 'I love you, Lucien Blake.'

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Well... it had to happen, didn't it?