Rangiku sat cross legged on the over stuffed couch while Toshiro used long legs to pace a path across plush carpet. She let him make a few dozen passes before losing her patience.
"Captain! Sit down would ya? You're making me dizzy." She put a small hand over offended eyes.
Toshiro stopped short before finally leaning up against the wall opposite of the motion sick lieutenant.
"Okay. Okay. Start from the beginning. Maybe if we put our heads together we can figure this mess out." He stared wearily at her, hoping for any clues, no matter how small.
"Well, let's see." A short finger tapped the thinner lips. She shifted back and forth, wheels visibly turning.
Minutes passed by while Toshiro watched familiar features twist and turn in thought. Toshiro drummed pastel nails on the dark wood shelving he leaned next to, irritation crawling across the supple skin. 'Wow, the moisturizer she uses is amazing...' He shook himself and those ridiculous thoughts out of his head.
"Sometime this century would be nice." He bit out, more perturbed with the idiocy inhabiting his borrowed head than anything else.
"Sorry." Ran replied without sincerity. "I just can't pin point anything that remotely links to this. I mean, I did paperwork, went home, dealt with a pineapple headed idiot... Not a drop to drink. Not anything good anyway. Just tea with Nemu." Seconds later, white brows shot up with epiphany.
"That tricky little..." She stood and took over pacing where her had captain left off. "I thought she was acting weird. Extremely interested in my cup." She continued moving, temperature of the room dipping second by second as cornflower eyes traced her rapid strides.
"You're telling me the lieutenant of squad twelve drugged your tea?" Toshiro was floored by the idea. Rangiku nodded her response.
"I suppose I shouldn't be all that surprised, the apple doesn't fall from the tree I'm sure." He stated flatly. "Who would be normal being created and lead by that demented madman they call a scientist."
Rangiku had stopped pacing and was making her way towards the front door. She was a woman...man...whatever, on a mission. And that mission was to torture a very unscrupulous little lieutenant. A hand gripped her by the shoulder as she had one foot out the door.
"Wait a minute Matsumoto. Slow down and think. We can't just go rushing out there." He warned.
Rangiku turned to him steaming, teeth gritted.
"And why the hell not?! We know who did it. I don't want to be stuck in this stunted body anymore than you want to be in mine. Well, maybe you do because I am pretty fabulous, but, still."
"Stunted?! Look here you booze guzzling amazon!" He pushed off the wall ready to throttle the disrespectful reaper before remembering whose neck he would actually squeeze. Reining in his anger, he tried to explain himself. "We need to stop being ourselves."
"I think we're as from ourselves as we can poissibly get, captain." Turqouise eyes rolled to accentuate the sarcasm.
"Again, you aren't fully hearing me. Which is by choice because I know damn well my ears work fine. Now, shut that mouth and let me elaborate."
Ran begrudgingly obeyed, closing the door and returning to the living room. She wouldn't sit though. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Being pint sized at that point in time bruised her pride as it was.
"As I was saying." He paused waiting for another interruption. None forthcoming, he went on. "We can't act like our real selves in our current bodies without arousing suspicion. We need to try and play the parts until we can get to the squad twelve barracks and get this sorted out. Cause, I don't know about you, but I'd rather the others didn't know about this. It's compromising to say the least."
Rangiku stood up and moved down the hall into the bathroom to stand in front of her large mirror. Curious, Toshiro followed close behind.
"What are you doing? We don't have time for..." His scolding was cut short by a halting hand.
Turning to her reflection, she carefully schooled her, his, face to absolute deadpan. She let the vibrant eyes go cold and corners of her mouth turn down. She stared at the reflection that was quickly becoming as familiar as her own before busting into a devious grin.
"I think I have you down pretty well, captain." She giggled before falling back into character.
"Cut that out! I don't always look like that!" He snapped, hands on waist.
"You mean like you bit into a lemon?" Her giggle sounded ridiculous coming from the male figure with a semblance of a teen. Taking in the stance he was in only made her laugh harder. The hands on his waist and designer shod foot tapping on the tile floor.
"What's so funny?" He demanded to know. "I don't find any humor in any of this." He flipped long hair over one shoulder, glaring hard. He was only fanning the flames.
Rangiku laughed until she cried. Barely breathing she collapsed to the floor. Pissed, Toshiro planted a foot in her unguarded back side before storming into the bedroom and throwing himself face down into the pillows. One long scream and he flipped over to recline against the bedazzled pillows adorning the soft bed. Dealing with this mess was down right exhausting.
Having gotten herself under control, she strolled into the room rubbing her left butt cheek. Looking at her sullen captain, she sighed and jumped up onto the bed beside him. She turned her head sideways as to watch him and study his thoughts chasing beneath her skin. She rolled on her side grabbing the hand closest to her.
"Hey. Captain?" He turned to her in silence. "We will get this figured out. Don't worry. I'm sorry I seem to be making you angrier. I don't mean to instigate." He simply let a blonde brow rise. "Seriously. I just couldn't help myself watching you be so...girly."
"I am not girly." He turned away, leaving Rangiku to stare at her own back. She rolled her eyes in exasperation.
"Get over your fragile ego and stop pouting over there. We have work to do." She tugged on his shoulder trying to get him to meet her gaze.
"Captain, stop being so gods damned stubborn." She tugged harder only to fall off the side of the bed, short arms and legs flailing. "Fine then. I'll practice by myself. Being you isn't that hard anyway. Stay grumpy, ever unapproachable, scowl and insist I am an adult." She waited patiently for him a moment. He quickly sat up, frown in place.
'Gotchya.' She smiled smugly...at least on the inside.
"You think it's easy to be me? Do you know what it's like proving yourself day in and day out? Constant harassment for my stature. Insubordinate lieutenants..." He finished with a side long glance.
"It wouldn't be such a chore if you'd get that zanpakto out your ass and learn to go with the flow once in awhile. I mean, seriously. How can you hold that constipated look on your face twenty-four seven? It has to be absolutely exhausting."
"I'm going to pretend I didn't even hear that. Besides, there isn't much credibility coming from the Soul Society's town drunk." He had slid off the bed and then stood looming over her, so close the over abundant cleavage was an inch from rage contorted features.
"Would you point my chest another direction? It's just plain weird." She crossed arms over the vacant space that was her borrowed body's chest. "I really do miss those. Can we fight later? I want to get back in me." She pled, all anger lost. He let out a long breath and nodded to her.
"Okay. First, I'll show you how I walk. Watching you swing my hips is downright disturbing." He smiled as he came behind her correcting her stance.
"It's called a sashay." She informed him before submitting to his maneuvering.
She practiced sauntering in a manly fashion up and down the hall under his scrutinizing gaze. He gave constructive criticism outward while he struggled to find the words in his inner dialogue.
"Matsumoto?" He called tentatively. His tone alone got her full attention. He never sounded that timid.
"Yes, captain?"
"I wanted to ask you something...personal. And you don't have to answer if you don't want to." His gaze dropped to his feet.
"Okay." She encouraged him with a gentle smile.
"Are you...ummm...do you have feelings for..." Ran watched as her porcelain skin tinged pink. "Lieutenant Abarai?" He gazed up from his seat on the floor under golden lashes.
"Why, would you be jealous if I said yes?" She teased.
"No." He said eyes wide. "I mean, no, that's not the reason I asked." He sat a little taller, body fully engaged. Rangiku merely gave a sliver of a smile, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. They came to sit on the much more comfortable bed before continuing their discussion.
"I'm not sure, captain." She shifted uneasily beside him on the bed, then slowly turned the small triangle of face to him. "I mean we've been friends for so long. It may be weird to try and change that." She picked nervously at the invisible specks of dirt and lint on her robes. He slid closer to gingerly put an arm over her shoulders.
"Well. I believe he may feel a bit stronger than that when it comes to you." He glanced down at the short, white tresses.
"No, I think he just enjoys the game. He has always been a terrible flirt." She whispered, settling into his chest.
He had never seen her like this. She was definitely beautiful by its true definition. He couldn't understand her insecurity. She always seemed to parade around, goods on display, teasing smile at the ready. Maybe, just maybe, she was a really good actress and he didn't really know her as well as he thought. He felt a bit guilty about that.
"Well, you never know unless you try." He tightened his grip around her shoulders momentarily reassuring her before laying his head atop hers.
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Renji and Izuru stumbled outside after their fifth and final jug of sake. With a palm flat against the wall for balance, the red head waited for the stars to stop spinning. Izuru had slid to the ground, head between his knees.
"I think," he mumbled from between his shelter, "we jus' may'uv drank a wee bit too mush." He peeked up with one eye shut through his curtain of hair at his partner in crime.
Renji slid down to better see the blurred image that had been speaking up at him. He patted his comrade with a bear paw of a hand after deciphering which one of three was the solid image.
"Ya' know sumthin'?" A lopsided grin broke out across the tatted face. "I believe, my good friend...", he turned slightly to make eye contact with his peer, "you are right." He finished while pointing a thick finger in the pale man's face. It was quickly knocked out of the air by his irritated friend.
"Oi, keep that sausage ya call a finger out my face." The usually even tempered soul reaper was invading the red head's space.
"You've had worse I'm sure." Renji chuckled at his own insinuation.
"You son of'a bitch." Izuru countered with a shove to the shoulder.
Moments later had them rolling about the dirt covered ground, dust clouding up the air as each worked for purchase in their alcohol induced sparring match. Neither were truly mad, and zanpakto would never be drawn, but they would both be hurting in the morning. When the small scuffle ended due to both of them near losing all the just ingested sake, they stumbled their separate ways. Izuru left with a crooked nose and a small limp and Renji a beautiful shiner to accompany a fat lip. With the imagined issue resolved, they parted friends once more.
Renji felt like he was moving in molasses, the long trip to his home seeming unbearably longer. He was tired, he was hungry, and he was intoxicated. He could barely pick up his feet the last stretch of the journey. A sigh rushed out his lips as he leaned against his door. 'Finally. Any longer and I would have woke up in a bush or a ditch.' His hand dipped into his pocket, the usual location of his key. He dug furiously in the other pocket. 'Empty. Damn it! It probably fell out when I was messin around with that idiot Izuru.' He let his head fall into the black trimmed door. A small moan of disgust and he turned on his heel to make his way to the squad ten's lieutenant's house. 'She won't turn me away.' Mind made up, he headed to Rangiku's place.