How could I ever get used to you?
Chapter three: Secrets.
By adsalor
At first, hiding inside the Firelord's own private beach house sounded insane. But after Zuko explained how his family hadn't been here in years -actually, there was one particular visit earlier that year with Azula and her friends, but due to the experience, he didn't think the princess would have any interest on coming back anytime soon-, it suddenly seemed like a perfect plan. The most excited one was Sokka, who strongly believed the best plans involved hiding in plain sight.
The young waterbender had to admit it. Ember Island was such a beautiful place. The house that belonged to the Firelord was considerably outdated in comparison with the other, more modern houses that adorned the shore. It was also very dusty, which meant nobody had been around for a while. Still, it was better than anywhere Katara had ever lived in her entire life, even for a short period of time. Each teen got a private room with a private bathroom, there was a large kitchen, resting areas. They even had their own private beach. If the Fire Lord hadn't abandoned the place, Katara imagined it would be more luxurious now than Toph's house.
At the moment, the dark-skinned girl was headed to one of the most convenient places in the house: a training courtyard. She had agreed to spar with Zuko again and luckily for them, the place was all set. There were even two large rectangle shaped containers filled with water to the top, almost as if they were left there for her. Katara found Zuko warming up on one side of the courtyard.
"Ready, your highness?" She mocked. Did that come out weird? Gold eyes met blue ones as they both adopted a defensive position.
"Ready as ever, peasant" He smiled defiantly. "No games this time. We fight like grown ups. I've seen what you can do".
Katara considered for a moment. She knew she was, in fact, capable of many things, but that didn't mean she liked to resort to violence. She didn't want him to see her like that. But he was probably just provoking her so they could at least have an interesting fight.
"Try to keep up. I'd hate having to beat you and heal you in the same day". A loud roar came from the sides of the courtyard as Katara lifted a big mass of water from each container and smashed it towards the fire Bender's direction.
Zuko squatted and quickly raised a wall of fire from the floor, just in time to stop the water. The place was filled with steam and the hissing sound of water against fire. The scarred boy started throwing direct fire punches at the water tribe girl, moving one step forward with each blow. Each stronger and more certain than the last.
Katara had a hard time putting them all out in time. She put some water around her body and bended backwards to avoid a fire punch, while at the same time pushing that water on ground level towards her dark haired attacker. Once it reached his feet, she froze it. Zuko lost his balance and the fire punches stopped. That gave the water bender enough time for her next attack.
That went on for a while. Fire against water and ice, each teen testing the other's movements, never holding back. The feeling was closer than what Katara remembered had been like fighting Zuko when they were enemies, but there was something different.
The two of them had had so many encounters, it was difficult for the water bender not to include him in her thoughts when she was training. And again when they were fighting, of course, she had to learn his ways so she could beat him. The banished prince was stubborn and proud. His thorough training showed in his perfect form movements and deep concentration.
But even through all their encounters, there was always something about the fire nation prince. Something kept changing and it made each fight different and exciting. The North Pole had been different than the first time. The conflicted, guilt filled look on those gold eyes from when they fought in Ba Sing Se still tormented her and she would never forget it.
She noticed his brow was furrowed and his eyes focused on every part of her body. It made her nervous. Watching his muscles tense and flex with every blow reminded her of the time he saved her from the rocks in the western air temple. He had pulled her against him like she weighed nothing and when her back was pressed against his stomach, she distinctly felt some very well built abs.
Focus, Katara. All this out of place thinking was making her lose concentration on her opponent. He wouldn't be able to notice it, because of the flush of the fight, but she was blushing too.
She had started to sweat and her hair was all out of place. Her mind kept drifting to awkward thoughts every now and then, but she was determined not to let them interfere with the fight. Zuko was advancing on her, now at a close enough distance to make some damage if he wanted to. She bended a stream of water with her right hand towards him, but he deflected it before it hit him and caught her wrist.
Blue eyes went wide with dread. Am I losing? No way. She tried to bend another stream from behind him with her free hand but he caught her too just in time and stepped forward, moving her arm around her body until it was all the way on her back. Not exactly sure of what was going on or how they got to that position, the brown skinned girl looked up. They were front to front, very close to each other now.
Zuko still held had her right hand tightly by the wrist and was holding her whole arm up. He had locked her own arm on her back with his other hand and pulled closer so she couldn't move. The water Bender's heart was racing and she was sure she could hear his heart beat as well. His expression was serious, but somehow calm. As if he was weighing what she would do next, but also knew he had her.
All she could do was stare into his eyes. There was something about those eyes. The hint of a process of confusion and pain that lasted way too long. Pride, definitely pride. Too much pride to admit the loneliness deep inside, but also humility and respect.
His breath was warm against her face. Close. Too close. She was panicking. Was he leaning forward? Wait, was she?
"I thought you were supposed to keep up" his voice came out almost like a whisper. Had it always been this deep?
Katara turned her face away and as soon as the fire bender let go of her wrists, she put a safe distance between the two of them. An awkward silence took over for a few seconds. Zuko spoke first.
"Good match. Should we-"
"I'd better go and help with lunch". The water bender didn't let him finish or even turned to look at him as she left.
The rest of the day had gone by uneventfully. That is, until the water tribe boy came home with urgent news and forced everyone to go watch a stupid play about their lives.
Zuko had made an effort to avoid the water bender for most of the afternoon. Once again, he had no idea where they stood. The training session had begun just fine, but apparently gone wrong at some point. He assumed so because of the way the blue eyed bender had left abruptly. Agni, what did I do this time?
He tried to talk to her on several occasions, but all he got were answers like "I'm busy making dinner", or "Can it wait? I'm on my way to teach Aang this new water bending move" or "Appa needs a haircut". Well, if she was going to be immature about it… What was he doing begging her to tell him what's wrong? He was a prince. He shouldn't need explanations from common peasants from the southern water tribe. Why was this still on his head? Since he couldn't figure it out, he resolved it would be better to put the matter out of his mind. She'd come around eventually.
But tried as he could, pushing the waterbender away from his thoughts had proven an impossible task. She was everywhere. He saw her whenever he stared at the vast, blue ocean, when he washed his hands, when he passed through the training courtyard. He still had to have lunch with her and listen to her talk to her friends as if there was nothing wrong in the world.
And then there was that stupid, spirits forsaken play than only helped to remind him not only about all the mistakes he's made in his life but all the times they've spent together. Who were those writers, anyway, and how did they get all that information? If he didn't know any better, Zuko could have sworn the water tribe boy was the author.
After the play, the gang needed to get some groceries. It was Suki's turn to make dinner, but the waterbender had offered to help and the blind earthbender didn't want to get stuck with the boys, so all the girls had gone back to the house and left the shopping to the boys. Now Zuko had to walk with the Avatar, who stopped every five seconds to check out anything from the fire nation that was new to him (Zuko wondered how they all managed to not blow their covers, they were such children), and the water tribe boy who was telling him about an argument he had with the Kyoshi warrior in which he might or might have not said something to upset her, and then she said something, but meant a completely different thing.
"My point is women are crazy". The blue-eyed boy concluded.
"Tell me about it". Zuko readjusted the hood he had on, meant for covering his scar so people wouldn't recognize him. They were already at the market place. Sokka was inspecting some vegetables.
"I mean, why can't they just say what they mean?" He went on.
"And what they want." Zuko agreed.
"Exactly! Don't they see how much easier it would be if they just told us what they want us to say and do?"
"Maybe you guys need to work on your listening skills". The Avatar said.
"Excuse me miss, this is a boys conversation." The water tribe boy mocked. It made Zuko laugh. The Avatar grunted in frustration.
"Stupid play" he muttered. "Laugh all you want. We'll see who laughs when the girls leave you because you don't know how to listen to women".
The grey-eyed boy saw a post that sold stuffed animals and ran towards it to check them out. The two older teens resumed their shopping.
"Is he right?" Zuko asked. He received a basket full of vegetables from the water tribe boy and watched as he proceeded to select some fruit.
"Maybe." Sokka shrugged and squeezed a peach he was holding to see if it was any good. "The way he acts like a child most of the time, it makes me forget just how wise he really is. He's not the Avatar for nothing" That last sentence he said only for Zuko to hear.
"It's not like I haven't tried" Zuko let out a sigh. "I tried to talk to your sister all day, but she just kept shoving me off. What does she want me to do, beg? I'm not gonna do that. I don't even know what I did wrong".
The fire nation prince turned to look at his companion. He had started talking without even realizing the topic or the person he was saying those things to. Very suspicious blue eyes were staring directly at him in silence.
"My sister?" He asked. Zuko flinched. "You're talking to me about my baby sister?"
"No! It's not like… I didn't mean…" The owner of the fruits post started laughing. Zuko took a deep breath in an effort to control his urge to roast him. "I thought everything was fine after the whole Southern Raiders situation. It seemed fine at first, but now she's weird around me again and I don't know why. I don't remember doing anything to upset her. I mean, we were fighting, but-".
"Fighting?" Sokka said. His tone was dry, like he was trying to process the whole thing.
"No, just training." The post owner had to wipe a tear out of his cheek from all the laughing. "Anyway, I didn't hurt her or anything. We were both doing just fine. At the end I think I was about to win, but I never thought of your sister like a sore loser. Do you think that's it?"
"That doesn't sound like her". The blue-eyed warrior rubbed his chin with two fingers. "We don't really talk about that kind of stuff. I mean... did you with your sister?"
"Spirits, no". Zuko couldn't imagine ever having a normal conversation with Azula.
"Katara has a lot on her mind. She's constantly thinking about the war and worrying about our dad and our friends. Making sure everyone's ok all the time. Making sure Aang's ok. Se cares deeply about him".
"Aang. I see." Zuko said quietly.
"Not like anything romantic. I mean, it's obvious he likes her like that, but I don't think she shares the feeling" Sokka said. Was he really trying to help the Fire Lord's kid with his sister? "Ever since we found him she's been like a mother to him. Same as with me, since we lost ours. The only times I've seen her act seriously weird is when people disappoint her. Like when she yelled at dad at the invasion, or what happened with Jet. She was furious about that, and I think really hurt too."
Jet? Who's Jet? Zuko remembered that some part in the play implied that she and a troublemaker had something going on. But then again, the play also implied he and she had something going on.
"Oh, also when you double crossed us in Ba Sing Se." Sokka went on. "Oh man, she was devastated. She cried for like a month after that. I thought it was cause we almost lost Aang, but then I saw her cry over a fire. I think she really believed you had changed that time and then-"
The brown skinned boy turned to look at the firebender, and found him staring blankly at the floor. She had cried for a month? For him? Well, no wonder she hated him so much.
"Hey" Sokka waved a hand in front of Zuko's eyes. "Don't tell her I said that, alright? Anyway, she's over that now. Is there anything else you might have done to upset or disappoint her?"
"I haven't done anything". Zuko said, annoyed.
Sokka took the fruit he had selected and paid the post owner. He had a very amused expression on his face. "Maybe it's because of something you haven't done". He said.
Both teens shot death glares to the poor man and walked away.
"Okay be honest" Suki said, placing a spoon full of whatever she was making in front of the waterbender's mouth. Katara held her breath and swallowed. All the mastery in hand to hand combat, sneaking and ambushing had left no room among the Kyoshi warrior's talents for cooking.
"Mmmm…" Katara faked a smile, but it wasn't good enough to convince Suki.
"Toph, is she being honest?" The earth bender was siting in a chair, resting her feet on the table and playing lazily with Momo's tail.
"What do you think?" She said.
Suki's face fell. "Let me try yours".
Before waiting for an answer, the shorthaired girl stuck her spoon in the pot Katara was working on. Her eyes light up the second she put it in her mouth. Katara rubbed her forehead with her hand and sighed. It had been her turn to cook dinner two nights ago, but she didn't mind helping Suki or anyone who asked her.
"How come you're making two separate dinners?" Toph asked.
"I'm making something vegetarian for Aang". Katara said.
"Don't you think you baby him too much?"
"I just thought not having to worry about dinner would take off some pressure from having to save the world." The waterbender put the lid on the pot and walked over to Suki's side. "I'm not doing it for you. I'll teach you".
"Okay, but this one has to have meat. Otherwise I'm pretty sure Sokka would die". Suki said happily. Katara smiled and started giving Suki some instructions. After a while, it was clear that the Kyoshi warrior was not going to make any progress. "Woah. I suck. I'm just glad Sokka's cooking is pretty decent. If we ever got married he'd have to be the one to feed us".
Katara didn't think that would be a problem. Her brother liked to say cooking was for girls and fighting and building towers was for boys, but she still made him help her in the kitchen when they were kids in the South Pole. As a result, the boomerang boy had gotten pretty good at it.
"Do you think you'll get married?" Katara asked her. Having Suki as her sister would be the best.
"Not like tomorrow, but maybe someday when the war's over…who knows?" Suki stared out the window into the stars reflected on the ocean. It was nice to imagine that kind of scenario once in a while instead of the usual fighting against fire nation soldiers. "Don't you girls think abut stuff like that?"
"We don't have boyfriends to think about". The blind girl said and crossed her arms.
"Still, you must think about boys sometime".
"It's not like we've had much chances". Katara said, stirring the pot. "We've been travelling from place to place for so long. It was practically a miracle you and Sokka found each other again".
"Yeah, I like to think so". Sukki smiled. "But there must be someone. How about that guy in the play? Jet, was it?"
Katara tensed. She didn't like talking about Jet. At first because of what a jerk he had turned out to be and how he broke her heart. And later on when they ran into him again in Ba Sing Se looking for Appa. She couldn't think about that time without feeling terribly guilty. She could have saved him if he had let her. Or at least she could have tried.
"Yeah, Jet". She hadn't exactly loved him, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't imagine a lot of things when she met him. She shook her head, as if that could wipe off how naïve she had been with him. "It didn't work out. Was there anyone in the time you and Sokka were apart?"
"Not really. Well, not for me at least. I don't know about Sokka. I recently found out about the moon spirit. How about you, Toph?" Suki asked. She had given up on the stove and was sitting on one of the counters.
"Well, I was making progress with Sokka until you came back." The earthbender said. Suki chuckled. She thought it was cute that Toph had a crush on her boyfriend, as long as she didn't do anything about it. And she didn't think the Bei Fong girl would. The sea foam eyed girl reclined back and held her head with her hands. "I don't think there's anyone else I'd bother with yet. Except, maybe Zuko".
"Oh yeah, definitely Zuko". The Kyoshi warrior agreed. Katara nearly knocked over the stove. They liked Zuko?
"What are you looking at Zuko for? You have Sokka." Toph said.
"I'm still allowed to have an opinion. Right, Katara?"
"What?" The water tribe girl was pretending to be focused on the cooking. In reality, she was freaking out. She had tried not to think about Zuko since that morning after the training session. He had been no help at all, chasing her around wanting to talk. Part of her didn't like being rude to him, but what was she supposed to say? He'd probably ask for an explanation about earlier and she honestly did not have one.
"What?" Suki said in an accusing tone. "Don't tell me you haven't thought about it. I've seen you staring at him".
"I don't know what you're talking about". Katara refused to turn around. Otherwise the girls would notice how much she was blushing.
"Oh come on, Sugar Queen. I don't need to feel your vibrations in order to tell that's a lie."
"There's nothing wrong with admitting when someone's good looking". Suki said. "You're not still mad at him, are you?"
"After everything he's done for her?" Toph answered. "It's getting old, really".
"I'm not mad at him" Katara muttered and decided to ignore what Toph was implying. "I guess you could say he's good looking".
"The scar is kind of off putting, but it doesn't take away the handsomeness." Suki said. "Besides, it gives him that mysterious, sexy look. Like he had a troubled past."
Katara snorted. Troubled past was an understatement for the young firebender. For so long she had pictured his scar whenever she thought of evil. Everything was different now. The fire nation prince was proud, stubborn and extremely good looking. She thought the scar helped to bring him down to reality a little bit. Now that he was on their side, she hardly even noticed it was there at all. It was just a part of who he was and she couldn't imagine him without it. She remembered when she almost healed it with the water from the spirits oasis. If so many girls noticed him like that, she could only imagine how much attention he would get if he didn't have the scar. Probably too much to notice a common girl from the southern water tribe.
"He's a good boy now, Katara. There's no reason to be upset anymore". Toph said. "Unless you liked him better when he was bad, since you have a thing for bad boys".
"I don't have a-" Sukki and Toph started laughing. Katara ran a hand through her hair. "I'm not upset. Why would you think that?"
"Because of the way you keep avoiding him. He approached you like three times today and you basically ignored him." They noticed? "Come on, Katara. Give the poor guy a chance. "
A chance for what?
"I don't get what's wrong. Do you just not like him or what?" The Kyoshi warrior asked, climbing down from the counter she was sitting on to grab a taste of the pot Katara was working on. "Oh my spirits, this is amazing".
"There's nothing wrong. It's just weird being around him, that's all." Katara said.
"Weird how?" Suki asked.
Weird how? Weird as in she was constantly aware of his every movement. Suddenly, her eyes, through no fault of her own, were noticing every single detail about him. Out of nowhere, her body was starting to react to everything related with the firebender. Her hands wanted to stroke his hair, every time he passed close to her there was this lingering smell. Every time he talked to her, the sound of his voice sent shivers all over her body and made her heart beat faster. Whenever those gold eyes focused on her, she had to immediately look away or he would notice she had been staring. But at the same time she wanted to see if he was constantly staring at her too.
And when they were fighting, she had gotten so distracted she almost lost. She had been so embarrassed by that. How could she let her guard down for a dark haired, pale skinned, covered in sweat fire bending teenager? Why did the way his chest rose and fell with every breath that powered his attacks, the way his hair swung back and forth whenever he tried to evade her blows, the way his gold eyes were focusing on nothing but her, why did all of this captivate her so?
She was a master waterbender, trained to fight for her life with every fiber of her being. But there she was, in the middle of what could have been a real fight, yet all she could think of was the hot breath coming from his parted lips at a very close distance from hers. It was new and different and weird, but she couldn't possibly admit all of that.
"I don't know. He makes me nervous." She said. Well, that wasn't entirely false.
"It's not like he's going to turn around and attack you out of nowhere. I think that point has been made clear." Suki said
"Unless..." Toph started with a wicked tone that the water bender did not like at all. "You're worried he's gonna try to do something else" The earthbender started making kissing sounds and hugging herself. "Oh Katara, I've been trying to deny these feelings, but I can't hide them any longer. My love for you burns with the heat of one thousand Sozin's comets".
Suki and Toph started laughing harder than ever. The Bei Fong girl lost her balance and nearly ended up on the floor. Katara couldn't help but chuckle too.
"Oh grow up". She rolled her eyes and proceeded with the final touches on the stew. It was almost done. The boys would be home any minute now and the spirits know Sokka would probably be starving.
After some more laughter and bullying the poor waterbender, Toph had gone outside while Suki stayed to help Katara pour the stew into bowls. The Kyoshi warrior had noticed her friend was very wrapped up in her thinking as she went over her task. She grabbed Katara's arm to stop her to make sure she was really listening.
"Hey. If it helps, I was very nervous with Sokka too, at first". She said with a smile.
After dinner, Zuko had decided to explore what had been his home for so many summers back when he had a family. That is, a normal family who wasn't about to destroy the world. He remembered even his grand father Azulon would come and play with them in the sand. As he passed each room, he could almost picture the family members they had once belonged to. Iroh with young Lu Ten, his father and his mother, Azula's room, of course, and the nursery. Now those rooms were filled with his new friends, the closest thing he had to a family. The remaining rooms were dusty and empty.
He walked over to the back of the house. The last time he had been there was with Azula and her friends. He found everything in the exact same spot where he left it. The doors were ajar from when he kicked them open. Even the ceramic ornament with his baby handprint was still on the floor next to the pillar, only covered in dust. In a way, it was a relief to know that nobody else had been there since his last visit, and also that his new friends hadn't found his baby stuff.
It was a nice night. The sky was clear so you could see a million stars tinkling in the distance. The air was cool and refreshing. The fire nation prince sat on the floor and rested his head on the pillar. He took the ornament in his hands and started wiping the dust off. He had made it for his mother. He figured maybe if he found her again he could give it to her as a present.
The young fire bender was too deep in his thoughts to notice some footsteps approaching. Zuko almost didn't recognize her. She was dressed up all in red and gold, the colors of the fire nation. Red skirt, a red one-sleeve top, gold bracelets and a red and gold necklace. Every hint of blue was gone, except, of course, for her eyes. If it weren't for her bright blue eyes Zuko could have sworn she was a completely different person every time she wore her fire nation disguise. Even though she wasn't quite herself without her blue outfit, Zuko couldn't help but think red suited her.
Zuko instinctively straightened his posture and stood up.
"Hey" She said once she had climbed the stairs all the way to where Zuko was. "I've never been to this part of the house before".
"It's where we kept old stuff". He said.
Katara walked slowly past him, placed one hand on one of the open doors and turned to look at Zuko. He made a gesture with his hand, so she knew it was ok to go inside. He walked in after her. It was a large room with lots of pillars and many doors. Directly across them was the table where Zuko had formerly found the ceramic ornament. Above it, an empty space where a painting of his family had once hung from. He wished he hadn't burnt it.
He let the waterbender explore the room in silence. She walked over to another table, under which there was a box. She opened it and started looking at the stuff inside. The first thing to come out was a half burnt doll that had belonged to Azula. She raised and eyebrow and gave the firebender a questioning look. It made Zuko laugh.
"So she was like this even as a child". She said.
"You have no idea".
Then next thing she found was a painting. This time there was his grandfather Azulon and grandmother Ilah, uncle Iroh with his wife and a young Lu Ten. His mother was holding baby Azula and he was siting next to his father. They were all at the beach.
"I remember that day" He said to her. "Cousin Lu built a sand castle. He was very proud of it, until Azula started smashing it. My dad thought it was funny, but my mom felt sorry for Lu Ten so she made the servants bring him extra dessert on dinner."
Zuko let out a heavy sigh. Katara put the painting back and closed the box. She didn't want to bring back more memories that could hurt. The fire nation prince walked out the door and rested his body against the pillars, looking at the horizon. Katara closed the doors and joined him in the terrace. They both sat on the first step of the stairs.
"We were once a normal family, believe it or not". He said. His tone wasn't entirely sad. More like melancholic. It was painful to know that those times would never come back, but it made him happy to carry the memories with him. He turned to look at the waterbender. "Sorry, were you looking for something?"
"No. Actually I was looking for you". She said. She was staring at the floor and playing with her hair. "I wanted to apologize for being rude to you earlier. And many times before that".
That took Zuko entirely by surprise. He had decided to stop thinking about it and guessed the matter would eventually pass. This waterbender was full of surprises.
"Thank you." He said. He remembered she had a slightly horrified look on her face when he immobilized her when they were training. Maybe she had felt seriously threatened. "And if I did something to upset you, I'm sorry".
"No, you didn't do anything".
Ha! I knew it. He would have to rub that on the Avatar's face. Bad listener his bison's butt.
They fell into a confortable silence for a while. Zuko watched the waterbender take the ceramic ornament he had left on the floor in her hands and run her fingers on his little handprint. She was smiling. It was a pretty sight. The clear night sky, the cool breeze, the distant sound of the waves crashing on the shore and her sitting next to him, smiling. She turned to look at him, but noticed he was staring and immediately looked away. She put the ornament down and started playing with her hair again. Zuko's brows furrowed.
"Is it always going to be weird between us?" He asked. She turned and looked straight into his eyes. He had discovered his heart started beating faster every time she did that.
"I don't know". She said.
Zuko noticed her expression had changed. It was no longer sad, but rather curious. Her head was slightly tilted to the side. Somewhere in the back of his head, he could hear a warning, but he was too intrigued to listen. It all happened faster than what his mind could process.
With her eyes locked on his, the waterbender started slowly moving closer to him. He swallowed nervously. Zuko tried to back up, but the pillar stopped him. She put one of her hands on one of his and leaned forward until their faces were only inches apart. Zuko's eyes started to close. The sound of the waves had been muffled by the sound of his own heart pounding, threatening to come out of his chest at any moment. He felt her hesitate for one agonizing moment and dreaded that this could be not real. This could be a figment of his imagination. Or worse, this could be a prank and the next time he opened his eyes he would find the whole team pointing and laughing at him.
He felt one of her hands caressing the back of his head and pulling him forward. She slowly pressed her lips against his. They were soft and warm, just like he imagined. He could feel her heart beat on his chest. She pulled back way to fast for the firebender's liking. Big blue eyes fluttered open in front of him. An unreadable expression on her face.
He was paralyzed. His body refused to move as he saw her stand up and walk away, never looking back. The fire nation prince was left siting there, alone.