Chapter Twenty-Four
Victoria felt her brain start to turn to jelly as she flipped to the next page of her political science exam. She blinked rereading the last question feeling distinctly like none of the words had penetrated her mind at all.
She saw him shift in his seat two rows in front and down from her. Victoria glanced up, not actually moving her head, to look down at Pogue. He was hunched over his test, writing furiously. She couldn't see his paper from here but she knew that all his answers would be far above and beyond what was actually expected of him. She spun her pencil in her fingers as she watched him. She knew he loved this class. Victoria wouldn't be surprised if he did follow in Jack's footsteps and ended up governor of Massachusetts one day or something.
Suddenly, his back tensed. She sat up as he did the same. A part of her brain screamed at her to just focus on her exam, like she was supposed to be doing; but she was fairly sure if she got out of this class with a B- she would be lucky. Then again her brain probably wasn't scolding her because of her focus wandering from academics...
Pogue shifted in his seat, just enough to look over his shoulder. His eyes found hers instantly, like, not only did he know he was being watched, but knew it was her who was perpetrating the watching.
Without really thinking about it, she smiled at him. Sending the tiniest of waves from her fingers, barely lifting them from her desk. He sent her a half smile back, shaking his head at her. He turned back to the exam and Victoria tried to refocus but it seemed impossible.
Victoria took a deep breath unsure of how she had ended up here. In this whirlwind.
She felt like she was caught in an undertow like when she was little and the four families used to go to Nantucket for a couple of weeks in the summer. She always went in too deep, having to be fished out of the water by her dad. He always said she had an eye for getting in trouble, but he would always be there to save her.
Victoria swallowed. They had stopped going to Nantucket when the boys had turned ten (She had to remind herself that, in fact, she had turned ten too, not nine, that year). But now she felt she was wading into troubled waters once again and she didn't see a way out of it, and her father wasn't here to pull her out, or even talk to, when he was the person she needed the most right now.
The idea of her mother, this mysterious shadowy figure in her imagination, was looming bigger and bigger in her mind. There had been so much to contend with, to her own deep dark shame, her mother had taken a back seat to more pressing issues, such as Pogue and her new power. The power, which had seemed daunting at first, had fallen easily into her life. She wasn't sure but maybe not having it since she was thirteen had been a good thing. She never really thought about it and the only time she used unintentionally was when she was overly emotionally. And for now, she would take the wins she had.
Recently though, her mother seemed to loom large in her mind. Mainly, the whole idea of her in her father's life. The idea that her 'mother' (or Evelyn as she had now come to be known in Victoria's mind) had not been enough for her father was not a stretch for Victoria. But then, Victoria's relationship with Evelyn had never been...easy. Now, at least Victoria understood why. But obviously her father had once loved Evelyn, but then he was with her real mother... What did she have that Evelyn didn't have? Why hadn't her dad just left? Why choose to stay with Evelyn after Victoria was born? When a person thought they had found their partner in life why would you consider another person? That was wrong. Not done. But yet...
She blinked her eyes over the last questions and tried to refocus but it was no use. There had been very good reasons as to why Victoria had been avoiding quiet like it was the plague. Slowly, she took a deep breath but it was no use, her mind wondered back to last night's dream.
They had been Jack and Sabine. As Sabine, she had actually been in the market most of the day with Elizabeth hanging from her hand. She had been greeted by her brother, who had Caleb's eyes, but that was it. Edmund Danvers, as she found out he was called, had curly hair, that seemed to have a mind of its own. And a nose that looked like it had been broken so many times its original shape had long since been forgotten. They had been joined by Alfred Garwin, who didn't look like Reid at all; all angles, long nose, long chin, sharp cheekbones. Victoria didn't like to even think about how relieved she was that he didn't look anything like Reid.
They had all been discussing the upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations when she had heard Jack calling to her. She had turned to see him striding towards her, bright smile across his face and her heart had swelled. That he could look at her with such unabated joy... She had woken up before Jack had made it to her side. And Victoria was greeted with an overwhelming disappointment as consciousness pulled her into her current existence.
"That's it folks. Pencils down." Victoria looked up at the professor's voice, letting her pencil drop. "I will post grades on the classes web forum by noon tomorrow so no need to stress until then."
The classroom was a flurry of movement but Victoria felt like she was quite weighted down. She took her time putting her books back in her bag and wandered from the room slowly. She got up starting down the stairs to the door and when she looked up she saw Pogue standing in the doorway waiting for her.
She didn't need to be told he was waiting for her, because she would have waited for him, without even thinking about it. "Hey," He said, falling into step with her as they left the room together.
"Hey," Victoria instantly hated herself for how giddy she felt when he said hi to her. He was not her boyfriend. Her boyfriend was in an algebra exam, or just finished it. She felt like a stupid eleven year old again fawning over Pogue like this. "How did you do?" She asked in a lame attempt to distract herself.
Pogue shrugged, "Not bad,"
Without thinking about it, Victoria punched Pogue in the arm and had to stop herself from jumping as the electricity shot through her arm. "Whatever, you aced it." She tried to subtly shake her hand out at her side but evidently Pogue saw her.
"Ok?" He asked.
"Fine." She snapped, but he just looked at her patiently raising an eyebrow. Victoria took a deep breath. "Do you think the electricity thing ever goes away?... From touching, I mean."
Pogue shrugged, "I think it might... I mean, most of the time when I touch you in a dream, it's more like a..."
"Tingle?" Victoria offered. She knew exactly what he was talking about.
"Yeah, so maybe." The only thing was that Sabine and Jack touched all the time. Anne and Henry hardly ever touched in the dreams they had had so far, and with them it was like touching a car battery. Victoria worried it may have something to do with consistency, but that was a problem for 'future Victoria' to deal with. She could only handle so much.
"How was last night for you?" Victoria asked looking up at Pogue realizing she didn't really know what had happened to him in the dream. As she spoke though they walked by some doe-eyed freshmen who ogled at Pogue and blushed, giggling at Victoria's question as they walked by.
Pogue snorted, Victoria rolled her eyes, "Well, you know what I mean,"
Pogue shook his head smiling, "Yeah, it was fine. Talked to George Simms and John Putnam about running for mayor. They seemed to think I could be Ipswich's youngest mayor in history." He said looking at Victoria.
"Well, if anyone could..."
"What happened to you?" He asked obviously just as curious as she had been.
"I met my brother. And Edmund couldn't be more opposite than Caleb."
"I know right?!" Pogue said looking at her.
"It's weird," Victoria agreed looking into Pogue's eyes, "Like he should be just like Caleb but he isn't at all, yet I love him exactly the same way." Victoria shook her head. "Do you think it will ever be easier? Less weird?"
Pogue shrugged, "I dunno, Jack and Sabine talk about their dreams pretty calmly. So maybe."
Victoria nodded, "I want to see Cassius and Mera. I want to know when they were from."
Pogue shrugged, "I dunno but Jack and Sabine seem to dream about them a lot."
"Do you think it is weird that Anne and Henry never talk about the dreams? Like, do they even have them?"
Pogue looked at her, "I think it's more of a ... Undiscussed thing in those days."
Victoria nodded, "It's crazy."
"Hey Tori!" Both Pogue and Victoria turned to see Caleb jogging up the hall to see them.
"Hello my brother dearest!" Victoria said brightly.
Caleb gave her a funny look as he came to stand beside them but Pogue snorted at her use of Sabine's constant greeting for her brother. "Uh, ok?" Caleb looked at Pogue who was shaking his head at Victoria.
She smiled at her brother, "Don't call me that." He rolled his eyes and Victoria simply smiled back sweetly, "What's up? How was Algebra?" Victoria asked, smiling at her brother.
"Fine. Uh, I just wanted to see if you had a free block after lunch, I wanted to run some stuff by you." Caleb said slightly awkwardly, trying to focus on Victoria.
"Maybe later? I can't right now, last exam, English, gotta study for the rest of break. Which I actually have to get to, so I am gonna love ya and leave ya, guys." She gave Caleb a quick kiss on the cheek, she looked at Pogue and smiled, "Pogue," He smiled at her and with that Victoria took off down the hall.
Caleb's eyes fell on Pogue who was smiling after Victoria as he watched her run down the hallway. "Dude," Caleb snapped. Pogue looked at him.
"Yeah man," Pogue fell into step with Caleb heading towards the front doors of their school.
"So, what, you guys have inside jokes now?" Caleb asked trying to keep his voice light but the conversation Caleb just had with Reid weighted heavily on his mind.
Pogue shrugged, "Kinda hard not too."
Caleb just decided to stop dancing around the subject and grabbed Pogue's arm and pulled him into an empty classroom. "Look man, we need to talk."
Pogue obliged but looked like he already knew where this was going, "Ok,"
"Do you guys know what you are doing here?" Caleb asked bluntly.
Pogue crossed his arms and looked like he was holding back his frustration, "Me and Victoria?" Caleb nodded, and Pogue took a deep breath, "Think it's pretty clear that we are trying to figure this out as we go. There isn't really a playbook for this, Caleb."
"I know Pogue, but have you thought about where Reid ends up in all this?"
Pogue's brow furrowed, his eyes darkening, "I would think your biggest concern would be Victoria, 'in all of this'."
Caleb watched his best friend closely, aware of Pogue's change in attitude, as well as his insinuation,"Well, of course she is. But Reid is really torn up about all of this and I just-"
"Honestly Caleb, I am fed up with looking after Reid."
Caleb straightened up, "This isn't about 'looking after' Reid. I know you are going through a lot but he's been your friend since we were in diapers."
Pogue shook his head, "You say that like I don't already know that." Caleb could tell he was getting frustrated.
Caleb crossed his own arms, feeling like he was looking at his best friend through a new lens. "Well, it would seem you need reminding, you and Victoria constantly chatting and having inside jokes doesn't make this easier for him." Pogue scoffed and turned from Caleb to face the chalk board but Caleb persisted, "Look, this has been an insane year, with Chase, and then all of us," Caleb lowered his voice, "Ascending, Tori coming home and then she ascended. We have had a lot to deal with. "
Pogue looked at Caleb with his brow furrowed, "And what Caleb? You think I don't care that us finding out that we are," Pogue also lowered his voice, "doublegangers makes things more complicated? You make it sound like it was a choice."
"I didn't say that, but if you had said something about the dreams when Victoria first got home it might have helped some."
Pogue shook his head, "I've told you-"
"Yeah, I know. But ya didn't. And Reid is her boyfriend now." Caleb took a deep breath feeling himself getting caught up in his own irritation at a situation he couldn't fix himself, "Maybe when they leave town things will calm down a bit."
Caleb watched a muscle flex in Pogue's jaw and his eyes flared. "Good to know where your priorities are." He hefted his bag on his shoulder and went to walk by Caleb but Caleb grabbed Pogue's arm stopping him.
"Pogue-" Caleb said apologetically not sure how this was deteriorating so fast. He used to be able to know how Pogue's mind worked faster than Pogue did. But now...
Pogue wrenched his arm from Caleb's hand, "No Caleb, I'm done. You have no idea what it's like. No one does. Except her. I have loved her my ..." Pogue stuttered, realizing he was speaking the truth for the first time since discovering they were doublegangers but at the same time he felt empowered by it, "I can't even say whole life because it's more than that. It's everything. She is my life. If she wants me to be a friend for the rest of time, I will. But if there is even a chance she wants me, I'm not gonna apologize for that. I don't give a shit if that means Reid gets his heart broken. Because what he has with her, a few months? I've had lifetimes and it will still never be enough. So, sorry if I don't smile and wave when she and Reid take off so he can go partying in Europe." With that Pogue left Caleb standing in the classroom.
Caleb had always been the leader of their group, the mediator in any squabble, no matter how big or small. But right now he didn't feel like that. No, right now he felt powerless, even with the power of two men. He felt like he was not only losing control of the situation but like he was losing his best friend and possibly his sister all at the same time. Again. Only this time it was Pogue instead of Reid. He didn't see a way out of this with the pieces of their lives all still intact. Someone was going to get hurt, and as Caleb got ready to leave the class room and find Sarah for lunch, he tried his best not to think about who would get the short end of the stick.
A/N: Glad everyone is liking the story and love all the input about who Victoria should end up with! Keep it coming, and I hope you enjoyed the update.