December 31st, Seattle.

Three days have passed since Mark ignored Lexie at the OR gallery. Since then, he doesn't acknowledge her anymore when they find themselves in the same room, and refuses to make eye contact with her as well. Many attempts have been made by Lexie, to know the root of the problem, but he is giving her nothing but the silent treatment.

Lexie has given up trying, knowing full well that if he doesn't want to talk to her, he never will. She's also come to terms with the possibility of her leaving for New York tomorrow morning with him hating her guts for the next few months. Liam has left yesterday, what with how their hospital was running short of capable neurosurgeons with his and Lexie's absence. After all, the holidays are nothing but accidentpalooza.

It's New Year's Eve and Lexie tagged along with Derek and Meredith to go to the hospital, missing the rush and adrenaline a busy day at the ER usually provides. She was tired of staying in and watching television.

She walks into the ER, watching everyone busy themselves with the patients. Doctors and nurses were running around, doing consults and holding lab results or xrays. This scene calms her. She just sat with the nurses at their station when Mark walks in and writes on a chart right in front of her.

"Hi." She smiles.

He looks at her briefly, before focusing his eyes back on the patient's chart. Okay, this is just rude. She opens her mouth to say something again, when an intern comes up beside him and puts her hand on his arm as a greeting, a little too long for Lexie's liking. He gives the intern a smirk before she leaves and he writes back on the chart. It reminded her of them a few years ago. Her stomach twists.

"Who was that, your new girlfriend?" Lexie scoffs and crosses her arms in front of her — a defense mechanism. She's too scared for his reply. If he even replies at all. She directs her eyes anywhere but at him.

"Jealous?" He says silently, almost as if it's a thought that wasn't meant to escape his mouth. He closes his chart, and leans forward to look at her. Really look at her.

He was close enough for Lexie to breathe in his scent. It unnerved her. She tones her voice down, into a whisper. "I left you voicemails. And your voicemail message promised you'd call back. And you didn't. Friends are supposed to return their friends' calls."

Mark sighs and straightens up before putting his pen on his chest pocket and turning to leave. Lexie stands up from her chair, and puts her hand on his arm, ready to stop him if he ever bolts. "I'm leaving tomorrow. Please can we talk?"

He removes her hand from his. "I can't be your friend, Grey. You know what I want out of you. And I know you can't give me that. So don't. I don't wanna hear it one more time. I've had enough rejections this year alone. I get it."

—

Warmth welcomed Lexie as she stepped into Joe's bar alone. Not alot of people were around, since it's 3 in the afternoon and everyone in the hospital were probably in the middle of their shifts. Lexie smiles at Joe as she sits on the stool by the bar.

After her conversation with Mark, Lexie tried to talk to him again but she couldn't find him anymore. She found him a couple hours later talking to Callie and Arizona by the surgical board but Callie steered him away at the sight of her.

How did it all happen like this? Six months ago, he was about to be married, and she begged for him back. He turned her down. And now, she's here, he's completely available and he wants her back, but she's the one who can't. Everyone's looking at her like she's the bad guy. She's only even been here for a week.

Liam is a good man, and Lexie feels secure with him. Things may have progressed pretty fast between them, but it was easy. It was far from the intense love story she and Mark had, but instead it was easy and stable. And he would never hurt her. Perhaps soon enough, she can learn to love him.

Lexie has been picking peanut shells apart into pieces, and blindly throwing them everywhere. She was anxious, and she needed something for her hands to fumble with.

Derek slips into the seat beside her. He just talked to Mark a few minutes ago and knew Lexie would need him. Meredith was already home preparing New Years' Eve dinner with April, and has no idea what happened. "Need a ride home?"

She looks at him, resting her face on her fist. She attempts to smile, but instead silent tears find their way out of her eyes. "I miss him."

Derek puts his hand on her back, in an attempt to comfort her. He hasn't seen her like this since the beginning of the year. This entire holiday trip she has been putting up a facade, trying to look indifferent at every mention of Mark. For a second, he and Meredith thought she has moved on. It worries him to see her back to where she started. He turns to Joe. "How many has she had?"

"Five."

He sighs. Lexie only goes one of two ways when she's drunk - either she laughs and giggles too much or she goes south like this. He helps her up and walks her to his car.

The entire drive home, Derek doesn't know what to do as he steals glances at his sister-in-law, still silently crying her eyes out in the passenger seat. She leans her head on the window, and he rubs her shoulder for comfort. He's grown protective of Lexie over the years, treating her like his own sister. But Mark is his best friend too, and brother, and oftentimes, he doesn't know how to help without taking sides or favoring one over the other.

When he parks the car outside the house, he faces Lexie. "Okay. I know both your sides. I've listened to you talk about each other for years. He loves you, Lexie. And I don't know who this Liam is or what your relationship with him is like, but I know you and Mark. I've known from the moment he threw that first punch at me years ago. Even then, you were not just another girl to him. He fought for your relationship. For years, he fought. While you went on with your life. And when Julia... she made him feel wanted. For a while. And he needed that. You know, after the wedding, you know how long he tried to get your whereabouts from me and Meredith? Every damn day. And now, you're here and the second he thinks you two can work it out again, voila! You have a boyfriend. I know you're upset about all of this too, but you can't blame him if he's tired and just wants to start over, Lexie. I'm sorry."

Derek waits for Lexie's response. She is staring at the dashboard, deep in thought. He waits and waits until he was sure she wouldn't say anything anymore.

"I don't want him to start over." She blurts out, just as he was making the move to get out of the car.

He gives her a knowing look. He'd smile if she wasn't looking so... miserable. She finally caved in to her feelings. "Then tell him."

—

Mark drags his feet out of the car and towards Meredith and Derek's front door. The intern he's been fooling around with, Nadine, invited him to spend New Year's Eve with her in her apartment, to hours and hours of sex and champagne. Tempting as it was, he already promised Derek he'd come to their dinner party.

Nadine was a nice distraction from all the things happening between him and Lexie. They've been friends with benefits since his wedding with Julia fell through. He was lost in life, and the only coping mechanism that's ever really worked for him was sex. She was an intern eager to please. She reminded him of Lexie, if he was being honest. Except Nadine never expected anything more from him. It was purely just sex. Friendship came with it sometimes, he'd talk to her about Lexie, and she'd talk to him about the guy she likes. Matt... he thinks?

Meredith opens the door and greets him. He walks inside and looks around. Avery, Kepner and Karev are all here and he says hi to them. She isn't here for some reason, and he relaxes a little.

"Hey, can you put this in the guest room for me? You know how Cristina gets when she's drunk." Meredith says, handing Mark a vase. He assumed he's the only one who hasn't helped with anything yet, so he mutters an of course and does as told.

Mark walks inside the guest room and finds Lexie sleeping on the bed. The room was dark, but his eyes quickly adjusted to the figure curled up just a few feet away from him. He leaves the vase on the bedside table, and moves closer to look at her face.

She looks peaceful. Her brows weren't furrowed, her lips weren't pursed together in frustration. He realizes he hasn't seen her look this vulnerable in a while. Everytime they talk lately, she has put up a wall between them, which he assumes is to protect herself. He's hurt her too much too many times that she puts her guard up and acts like a different person with him. He suddenly feels his heart ache as he tucks strands of hair behind her ear.

He is so in love with her. He is so in love with her, and he can't stop. Even when she left him the first time, even when she told Karev she loved him and she didn't care that Mark was in the room, even when she was affectionate with Avery right in front of him, he loves her. And even when she leaves him again in the morning, he still will. The realization felt like a stab in the gut. This is what it feels to truly love someone. To face pain head-on, if it means she'll be happy.

Her eyelids flutter open and it takes a while for her eyes to adjust into the dark before they focus on him. "Mark?"

With scattered thoughts and overwhelmed feelings, he closes the distance between them and kisses her. Passionate, hungry. His tongue was about to explore her mouth when he notices one thing: she isn't kissing him back at all.

He pulls away to trace her lower lip, afraid he took things too far too fast. His eyes lock with hers and he whispers a quiet apology as he caresses her cheek. They look at each other with dark eyes for almost a full minute, before she locks her fingers into his hair, and pulls him back to her again, her mouth meeting his.