Back again! This is a fairly short one, and I tried something a little bit different with this one, making it more about the possibility of Jay getting hurt, since I tend to write Erin getting hurt way more haha. There's at least two more parts left to this story, so I hope people are enjoying it. It's the best feeling to see how many follows and favourites this story has (probably the most of all of my stories!), so please let me know your thoughts. I also have the next one finished already, so the more reviews I get, the faster I will get the next part up! Hope you enjoy.
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The locker room is typically the quietest area of the 21st District. It's less populated than the bull pen or break room, making it the perfect location for a quiet moment. Unless of course, you're using it to work out some anger issues.
The sound of the blue metal echoes throughout the room as Erin kicks her foot against one of the lockers in frustration. No, anger. She's pissed as hell and unfortunately the locker is taking the brunt of it.
Quiet footsteps alert her to a presence in the doorway. She knows it's not him, but damn it, she does not want to talk to him right now.
"Go away, Jay." She practically growls. She can't remember the last time she spoke to him like that, or the last time she'd been so angry with him. Who cares though? It's all his fault.
"Everyone can hear you out there, you know." He points out. "They're all too scared to come in here."
"And yet, here you are." She points out, folding her arms over her chest.
"Well, yeah, someone has to talk to you when you're being unreasonable."
"Oh yeah, that's great, Jay, dig an even bigger hole for yourself!" Her sarcastic tone fills the room.
"What the hell are you so angry about?" He demands. "We got the guy, everything went well."
"You just don't get it, Jay!" She yells. "You could have been killed out there!"
He'd been so stupid! One moment they'd been in the midst of a regular bust, and the next thing she'd seen was her partner skidding across the floor, knocking Ruzek out of the way from their perp who had his gun aimed at him. He had run in the path of a bullet, narrowly avoiding a major injury, and he still can't understand why she's so upset?
"Newsflash, Erin, we could be killed any day in this job!" He throws back. "But I wasn't, and we're all fine. I don't understand why you're so pissed at me."
"You don't get it." She laughs, somewhat bitterly. "Because you're only thinking about yourself."
"What are you talking about? I'm pretty sure I was thinking about this unit, like we're supposed to. I'm pretty sure I was thinking about Adam when that guy was pointing a gun at him!"
"Exactly! You were thinking about everyone other than yourself! Look at you Jay!" She gestures at his bandaged forearm. "You could have gotten yourself killed!"
"It's just a scrape." He stares at her. "Not even a flesh wound." He's been in much worse shape before, and he doesn't understand why she's making such a big deal out of it.
"Because you got lucky! It could have been so much worse, Jay. You went off without backup, how stupid can you be?"
"I don't know, you tell me."
Silence falls over the locker room, Erin's face set in a hardened stare.
"That's not fair." She says, deathly quiet.
"Well, it's true, Erin. How many times have you gone off without me?" He retorts.
She stares at him, her eyes taking on an unfamiliar quality, one that has him scrunching his forehead at her in confusion.
"So you ran in front of a bullet to prove a point?" Her voice is even raspier than usual.
"No, Erin, of course I didn't. But let's not forget you've done stuff like this plenty of times before."
"It's not the same, and you know it! Besides, I stopped doing that because you asked me to, and I care about your feelings." She snaps at him.
"Erin, you know this is how the job is." He tries to calm his tone. "I didn't do anything I shouldn't have."
"Except put yourself in harm's way without thinking of the consequences!"
"Why are you so hung up on this?" He says frustratingly.
"Because I can't lose you, too!"
Her words reverberate off of the metal lockers, filling the room. He's pretty sure they can hear her out in the bullpen, but he doesn't care. His mouth hangs open slightly as he stares at her, wishing he could erase the awful expression that she's wearing on her face.
"Erin …" His breath hitches as he realises she's trying to avoid his gaze, to hide her watery eyes from him. Because if there's one thing Erin Lindsay hates the most, it's appearing weak in front of people, even him.
"Every time you put yourself in harm's way when it's not completely necessary, you make me think about what my life would be like without you, and I know that's not a life I want any part of. You're not just you anymore; Jay, and I don't think you get it. I barely survived Nadia dying, and Justin. But if anything ever happened to you, that would be it for me. I don't know how there'd be any coming back from that."
Her eyes are still avoiding his, and her voice is unsteady with emotion, but genuine. His heart lurches at the vulnerability that's evident on her face.
"Erin." He takes a few steps towards her.
Her eyes finally rise to meet his. "You scared me, Jay."
All of a sudden, he's striding the last few steps to her, and she's in his arms, gripping at the back of his shirt with her fists.
"I'm sorry." He breathes into her hair. "I wasn't thinking."
She sighs a deep, shuddery breath into his shoulder.
"I know our job is dangerous, I know that. It usually doesn't bother me, because you're my partner, and it's my job to look out for you. But when you go off without me, I can't do anything. I can't stop anything that might happen. Maybe it's selfish, but I need you to be safe."
"I'm okay, babe, I'm okay." He soothes her gently.
"Yeah, but one day you might not be. I don't know what I'd do without you, Jay."
"I don't know what I'd do without you either, Erin." He admits softly.
He sits on the bench behind them and tugs on her hand gently until she comes to sit beside him. She immediately leans her head down to rest on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you." He says softly, running a hand across her back.
She sighs. "Me too. Except I'd do it again for you to see reason."
He chuckles. "Fair enough. I will be more careful though, and think things through a bit more."
"I don't want you to feel like I want you to do this job any less than you should." Erin lifts her head to face him. "I just need you to be less reckless."
He presses a kiss to her forehead. "Done."
"Really?" She asks, apprehension clear in her voice.
He nods firmly. "I know what it feels like to think about my life without you, how scary it is to see you in danger. I don't want you to feel that unnecessarily. Since you promised not to go off without backup, and you've stuck to it, I promise to be a little more cautious."
Erin doesn't even realise how much she needs to hear that until he says it and her heart lifts a bit.
"Thanks, Jay." She whispers in response.
"Anything for you, baby."
His voice is sincere, and she knows that he understands now. She's never been so glad that she's learnt to open up to him.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She asks, running her hand over his bandage carefully.
"Nothing more than a sting, I promise."
She nods. "Good."
She rises from the bench to stand before him. "That means you can't use your injury to get out of doing the dishes tonight!" She says with a smirk.
He stares back at her with his mouth hanging open. "Excuse you, I am in a delicate state here!"
She laughs as she grabs his hand and pulls until he stands too.
"Poor baby." She says with fake sympathy. "Let me take you home and make you feel better."
"Now that's more like it!" Jay says with a raised eyebrow, loving the laugh she gives him in response.
He lets her pull him from the locker room, so they can collect their things and head home. He knows he'll do whatever she asks him, for a life without Erin Lindsay isn't one he wants to consider either.