FINALLY DONE WITH THIS FUCKING CHAPTER! I'm so sorry for the wait. Was in a funk. Luckily a weeklong trip with little to no cell service and/or wifi will motivate a person! SHOUTOUT to Fantastic1993 for her awesome help!

And another note for reviews: PLEASE don't just put "write more", as that doesn't help me improve in the slightest, as I will write more, it just might be a while. I appreciate he feedback, just give me examples of what you like and don't like, thank you.

i don't own Attack on Titan or any canon characters.

Rose-Maria Grasslands, Year 847

Thunder. It was everywhere as Lilly took strained breaths, heat surrounding her as the pressure on her body grew tighter and tighter. She must have taken the wrong turn. She flinched as a low growl sounds in her ears and the girl looked up, her slow mind, getting slower from blood loss, took in the Titan's rank breath and she accepted it was the end. I'm sorry mama and papa... I'm sorry Heike... I'm sorry Eren... She sniffed, her eyes closing as that hand raised higher towards the gaping jaws of her killer, a tear rolling down her cheek to clean through the grime and blood, falling to the ground below.

Only this was not the end just yet.

Lilly's eyes jolted open as she fell, a spray of blood flying through the air. But it wasn't her blood this time. Her vision swam, but she managed to make out the shape of Jakob flying around and slashing the nape, the Titan falling, slain. Then the world went dark.

††††††††††††

Jakob picked up the unconscious, bleeding form of Lilly and whistled, both his horse and

Samson trotting to him. The grey stallion was his clue that something was horribly wrong, and that's what pulled him back. And thank the Walls he did.

He put Lilly in front of him on his horse, tying Samson's reins to Jakob's horse's saddle, and he wrapped her cloak around her as tight as he could as he rode to the center of the formation, to help staunch the bleeding.

"Please please please! Stay with me Lilly!" He begged whatever gods existed. He sighed, knowing that very few prayers on the plains were ever heard or answered. He pulled out her flare gun... if he could not signal the gods, then her parents seemed like a decent plan B. He fired the blue canister and waited for the response, hoping Hanji or Moblit would see the color. Lilly needed medical attention, and fast.

††††††††††††

Hanji was riding beside Levi and Erwin, in the command squad, when she saw the column of blue smoke.

She had moved her squad to the center after hearing from a messenger that the section where Lilly was had been overrun by Titans. She gripped Levi's arm.

"Levi!" She pointed to the line of dark blue against the azure sky, her heart skipping a beat as she saw it. She didn't want to think what it could mean.

The pair was off like lightning, leaving Erwin in the dust. The blond just watched them, is heart in his mouth. He prayed desperately to the walls she'd be okay.

They met Jakob as he was tearing toward them. He slowed and swallowed. "She... She needs serious help..." He looked at the small, bleeding form of Lilly Zoe-Ackerman.

Hanji instantly took her daughter onto her horse, unwrapping the cloak and then looking at her husband, panic and fear in her eyes as she saw just how bad off Lilly was. "Dammit... Levi! I need somewhere stable to work with her! The horse moves too much that it'll just make things worse if I try to tend to her here. She needs immediate treatment."

Levi gritted his teeth and rode ahead to get a wagon. He nearly tore past Erwin, be he slowed down to fill him in. "We need a wagon. Lilly's badly hurt and Hanji needs a place to work. Are there any nearby?"

Erwin was silent for a moment before he remembered where one would be. "Go straight forward and you'll hit the front convoy. They should have a spare wagon... Hopefully. I don't know how many bodies we'll have this time. If we're fortunate and there aren't too many, providing a free wagon." He nodded.

"You talk too much sometimes." Levi shook his head in a friendly manner to his comrade, then he was off like a shot, riding hard straight to the dead center of the formation. That's where the convoy would be. That's where he can save his daughter.

He came to the convoy and he went immediately for the only open wagon, to which he barked some orders at the driver. The man scrambled off the horse and then was left in the dust as Levi mounted the steed he just vacated and started off at a gallop, the poor driver left dumbfounded, holding the reins of Levi's horse. He rode to where he guessed they would have proceeded to had they kept going, but he saw something distantly that made him change course.

He arrived to see Hanji on the ground with Lilly, rapidly applying compressions. His heart dropped and turned icy cold. "Shit. Hanji!" He swallowed and went to his wife and daughter's side. As she was applying compressions he pinched Lilly's nose and breathed air into her lungs, noticing the amount of blood by his daughter. It made him feel even colder.

Erwin paced back and forth while the Zoe-Ackerman's tried to save their daughter, not wanting to abandon the pair in their panic, as they wouldn't notice any Titans approaching. He felt the guilt sharply, knowing that if she died he'd never forgive himself. Please please please spare her... He begged silently. He knew this thought was selfish, but he couldn't help it. He viewed Lilly as his own daughter half the time, and seeing her so frail reminded him of the time he had taken care of her while she was quite ill when she was a child. It broke his heart to see her reduced to that low of a state.

Hanji moved Lilly onto the cart, and she resumed her work there while Levi directed the cart to the exterior base. After the adults thought they would go mad with the tension, Lilly coughed, and Hanji checked her heartbeat. It was still fluttery, but slowly improving. "Her heart's stronger... She's gonna be okay..." She sniffed, before the tears started streaming down her face in pure relief, Levi actually letting out a chuckle. "S-she's gonna m-make it." Hanji continued. By that point, all Lilly's wounds had been dressed and treated carefully by Jakob. She had stopped bleeding, as far Hanji knew.

Jakob folded his cloak to use as a pillow, Erwin taking her bloody one. They made sure she was comfortable as they continued in the wagon, Erwin having sent up the flare that the mission is to reroute to the exterior base. Then it would be time to count the dead so far, to add corpses to the mountain beneath his feet. Little did he know how much it would grow in the coming years.

The ride to the base wasn't difficult: it was fairly clear of Titans. That easy ride felt like it would never end to the married couple in the wagon. Hanji wouldn't stop checking Lilly's injuries. She wanted to make sure her daughter was truly going to make it, and that her condition wouldn't get worse, as there could be some internal bleeding she missed. Levi grit his teeth as he hears the wagon creaking behind him as Hanji kept shifting. He would have rode beside Erwin, as he normally did, but with his luck, that would be the moment when Lilly needed her father most.

Soon enough they passed the river that's the marking point of the base. Levi let out a sigh of relief. Now Lilly could be really checked over. Hanji did what she could in the wagon, but now she can really focus on her, not having to keep one eye out for Titans, as well as take advantage of her assistant Moblit's medical knowledge, which surpassed her own. She picked up Lilly wrapped in the cloaks and carried her inside, going to the infirmary immediately, Moblit falling into step beside her.

"Squad leader it's going to be okay. I'll take care of her." He promised, taking Lilly from Hanji and laying her down. He had Hanji sit outside the room, knowing that she was a good medic, but she was also heavily emotionally compromised.

Moblit checked Lilly over, looking for any issues Hanji may have missed while tending to her on the cart. Everything looked alright... for the most part. He diagnosed that she had two broken ribs, another fractured, and her arm needed to be operated on to remove what appeared to be shrapnel from broken 3DMG. Not to mention she had a cut on her head from blunt-force trauma caused by hitting the hard, dry earth. She had lost a lot of blood already, but the bandaging helped keep it under control.

Moblit called over a couple of the other remaining medical officers, informing Hanji as well as to what's going on, and they scrubbed up as best they can in the grungy base. They spread a special numbing cream Hanji devised over the arm and started to remove the shrapnel. Lilly flinched and whimpered in pain, but her unconscious state made it a little more manageable, along with the cream. But upon waking up the wound will hurt like fucking hell.

Hanji was pacing outside the room while her daughter was operated on. She glanced up as Levi came hurrying over, looking worried. The lines on his face were deeper, and he appeared to have aged at least five years just in the last half hour since she saw him last.

"How is she?" He asked, well, it was more of a demand. He went to his wife's side and she shook her head. She didn't know how well Lilly was doing.

"I... I don't know... I think Moblit said he's operating on her... Like she had some shrapnel in her arm or something..." Hanji shook her head again, trembling a little. Their baby girl, alive by a miracle. She nuzzled into Levi's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. Nothing was easy for the Zoe-Ackermans, and it seemed like nothing would be as well. They were both nervous and scared for different reasons. Levi felt utterly useless as he always had something to do with Lilly, be it fixing a small issue, training, or even scaring monsters from under the bed when she was little. Now he could do nothing but hope for the best and hold Hanji close. Hanji, meanwhile, with all her medical knowledge and prowess, couldn't treat her daughter. Lilly was behind that door, and Hanji could do nothing to save her.

After what seemed like hours, Moblit opened the door and let the couple in. Levi and Hanji rushed into the room and went to Lilly's side. She looked fine for the most part, save the heavy bandaging on her arm, head, and across her chest for her broken ribs. She was also quite pale. Hanji swallowed and looked at Moblit. "Is she gonna be alright?"

Moblit smiled. "Yeah, and she should be well enough to return to the training camp in a couple weeks. I'll write to Shadis telling him she can't do anything super physical yet... But I think she'll want to see her friends again. After she's back, assuming everything goes well, she should be back to normal a month after." He saluted his two superiors before he left to look over the other patients that the nurses took care of.

The night passed slowly for the couple, one always at Lilly's side while the other left to either check on the cadets or to help keep them in line and to plan with Erwin. Neither of them slept that night. Just as dawn broke over the fortress, long abandoned by man and now used by the Scouts for a poor refuge, Lilly woke. She blinked slowly, pain lancing through her arm as she tried to push herself up. Instantly Levi was awake and he cupped her cheeks.

"P-papa... Where are we?" She blinked and looked around, buy everything was fuzzy. Hanji had removed her broken glasses and now the world was a blur.

"This is the exterior base, a little safe haven. We came here while you slept." Levi informed her softly.

She nodded, shifting and groaning as she felt that pain again. "Ow... Why does it hurt? What's my condition?" She swallowed, a little scared of the answer.

"You had a bad head wound, several broken or fractured ribs, as well as an injured arm. You need to heal. I bet we'll be setting off soon, but... Shit I don't know..." He shook his head.

He and Erwin had spoken about either turning back after they counted the dead and wounded, or continue on despite the casualties. They hadn't made a decision yet and it was on Erwin. The amount of healthy versus otherwise was just about even. The choice was a hard one. Levi's worried about what would happen to Lilly if they moved on. She certainly couldn't go along with them.

But there was one big reason Levi hoped they'd turn back. This base was all too familiar to him. It's where they had stopped years ago the night before a bad storm... the night before he lost Farlan and Isabel. He knew that if they had turned back then, those two would likely still be with him, being a fun aunt and uncle for Lilly. He ran a hand through that hair so like his as he contemplated what might have been.

"What's going on in that head of yours, papa?"Lilly asked, moving with only minimal noises of pain, having learned to work through it. She was an Ackerman, after all. She covered one of her father's hands with hers. "And papa, I'll be okay if you have to leave me behind. I know you don't want me to get any worse." She coughed as her ribs protested to just a little too big of a breath. "I'm strong papa." She gave him a reassuring smile and he sighed.

"You look just like your mother when you smile like that." He smiled softly, just for her. "I'm just thinking about the last time I was here. It was when I lost my two very close friends before I knew your mother... It's been very tough emotionally for me." Levi swallowed as he felt the emotion rising, and Lilly just squeezed his hand comfortingly. He started as he heard footsteps and looked up. Grey eyes met brown as Hanji came back with some coffee. He took his with a murmured word of thanks.

"Hey kiddo." Hanji smiled as she brushed some hair from Lilly's face. "Glad to see you up. We were worried about ya. Good thing Moblit was on the job." She chuckled.

Lilly smiled at her mother's laughter and leaned into her touch. "He's a good medic, mama. I'm glad you picked him as a helper. Not to mention he's hilarious when drunk." She snickered. She did genuinely like Moblit, though.

"That's true as well. Unfortunately it's usually my fault he gets drunk in the first place." Hanji just laughed more. "He can't keep up with me and my crazy experiments." She kissed Lilly's forehead. She was so happy to see her daughter doing well after being brought back from the brink.

Lilly smiled and looked between her parents. "Thank you... And I'm sorry I wasn't quick enough..." She swallowed, before her eyes widened and she gripped the side of the bed tightly. Everything came rushing back as she said that. Her squad. Her squad was attacked... Stephan and James... Oh god... She took the bin her mother gave her, seeing her pallid complexion, and she vomited into it. Her body shook with the force of it, but most of what came up was bile, having not eaten anything since before the mission. She wretched a little then set the bin down, shuddering. "M-My squad... And the one who assisted us..."

Hanji and Levi had comforted and held her hair back. The latter sighed and spoke. "I'm sorry about James and Stephan, Lilly... But Jakob is still doing well. He helped save your life. He brought you to us." He ran a hand through Lilly's black hair.

"G-good... Oh god I'm so sorry..." She sniffed, tears starting to form then fall. She wasn't apologizing to her parents anymore. She was apologizing to those who died. To those who weren't able to be saved. She swallowed down the need to vomit again, but as her parents hugged her she clung to them.

Erwin came in a little while later. "We're turning back. We can't afford any more casualties by pressing forward." He didn't let his two closest comrades see the shame in his expression, the guilt, but Levi and Hanji knew it was there. Levi nodded and moved from his daughter's side.

"Okay. Let's get ready to turn back then." He left with Erwin and they organized everything to go back to the walls in disgrace. They hated doing it, but Lilly understood why they needed too. Why sacrifice more lives and leave the wounded behind to possibly be attacked while the healthy was gone?

††††††††††††

The ride back was somewhat uneventful, the Titan count still down from the trip to the fortress. There were few casualties, but that was still more than what Erwin wanted. He fired the flare as they approached and the gate was raised. It wasn't even ten minutes after they entered the gates that the usual hate-filled whispers began. Whispers of wasting tax money if all that money was going toward was dead sons and daughters.

Lilly could barely stand it, but she knew she couldn't do anything to prevent it. So she was forced to grit her teeth and bear it in silence. She knew her father always did just that. She could see the anger and hate boiling in his eyes from here at the ignorant whispers of the shit-for-brains that often crowded the streets. But something she didn't expect were the thrown rocks and screams of hate towards Erwin, whom she never had blamed for tragedy. He didn't react to them, though, even when a rock caught the side of his head, staining his golden hair red. She grit her teeth and acted like it didn't happen, feeling guilty as she did so. She didn't relax until they were back at the HQ, where the civilians couldn't go; where they were safe.

She got out of the wagon and made her way over to Erwin, who was still in business mode, doing a hundred things at once, and she could see the guilt weighing on him. She tapped his arm and he didn't react until she did it again, harder. He looked at her with guilt-filled eyes, trying to apologize for what happened to her, but she shook her head at the look. "Uncle Erwin, your head needs to be bound. Can I? Please?" she asked, sounding smaller than usual thanks to her ongoing guilt and the shame of not making it back successfully. It stung her pride to know she might not have been ready.

At first the Commander had fully intended to refuse, the rush her away to a recovery bed and continue on till as usual he ran out of steam and passed out in his own room. But those eyes. Those bright eyes he had been so worried would never open again, in that moment he couldn't refuse her request and he nodded, allowing the injured young woman to lead him where she could tend to him. She sat him in a chair where she could wrap his head with some bandages she picked up on her way to see him. She sighed as she cleaned the wound of the blood. "This isn't your fault. Don't feel guilty because you can't predict every goddamn scenario out there, uncle."

He let out a soft chuckle, hissing as she touched a tender spot. "You're oddly wise for your age... And rather like Levi." He commented.

"Well I've grown up quick, a family trait according to papa." she smirked, noting the guilt there in his blue eyes still. Yes it had been on his command that her parents had regularly needed to leave her alone, but Lilly just sighed and shook her head at him. "It's part of the job, so quit giving me that look." Her tongue stuck out from between her teeth as she cleaned a deeper part of the wound, causing Erwin to flinch a little. She caught him looking at a group of wounded soldiers walking past, and she tapped his cheek to get his attention. "We all have guilt. You know we do. Those of us that want to fight, always lose at some point, and we go ahead and blame ourselves for that. When Maria fell I took up some blades and fought back... like I was taught and raised to. But... but I wasn't quick enough, but you tell me I can't be blamed for the losses right? It's the Titans. That's what you always said to me. It's the Titan's doing."

"You're making me feel like such a hypocrite-" he flinched again as another tender spot was dealt with. In all honesty Lilly nearly giggled as she scolded her uncle, such an imposing man, and yet underneath that furrowed brow and stern lip he was as caring as any other. Perhaps more so. A sigh escaped her.

"I don't mean to... Just trying to distract my overthinking, worrywart uncle. I, um... I'll be heading back to training soon right? I'm looking forward to seeing my friends but... I won't be training for a while will I?" she finished wrapping.

"Thank you. And no, I don't think you will. Not for a few weeks at least. You need to rest and recover... Both physically and emotionally." He gave Lilly a grave look. "I understand you lost a couple squad members, as well as was nearly killed yourself. You may feel fine now, but that's not something someone your age will instantly recover from. But I hope you feel like you could talk to me about it, despite it being my doing they were lost in the first place." He felt terrible with this reality check, but he wanted her to know that he's there to help.

Lilly swallowed. She knew most of what Erwin said was true. But she frowned as he blamed himself again. "Didn't you just hear me? I said it wasn't your fault." She flicked his forehead rather like how her father did with her, pulling a chuckle from him. It's obvious to those who watched that Lilly and Erwin were rather close, and that Erwin took his role as uncle to heart. "So please... I know it's hard but don't blame yourself for everything, and try dodging the rocks next time? I won't always be here to patch you up and have a deep, philosophical conversation with you. You might get stuck with mama's care some time." She grinned as he chuckled.

"You're right. Thank you Lilly. And again, please feel free to talk to me if you feel like you can't talk to you parents, for whatever reason." He stood, kissed her on the forehead, before he left, back in business mode but his heart felt lighter.

††††††††††††

Eren was gritting his teeth at the hate-filled whispers as his heroes passed through town. Every time, just like in Shiganshina, he stood at the streets watching them enter the town. One thing he wasn't intending on seeing was Lilly in a wagon, bandaged up. His first thought is that he didn't know she graduated, and was hurt she didn't say hi before she joined the Scouts. Then he mentally kicked himself. Of course she's still a cadet. It had been two years since she joined the training corps, but the cadets didn't graduate until early summer. Her parents must've managed to get her out of the training corps to go on a mission.

"D'you think she's okay?" He asked Armin, who stood beside him. Armin frowned, not seeing Lilly yet. "Lilly, do you think she's okay?" He repeated to Armin's confused look.

"Where...?" Armin frowned, then his eyes widened a little as he found her. "W-Well she doesn't look too bad... Looks like a head wound, an arm wound, and maybe a couple broken ribs. She looks like she'll get better in a couple weeks." His quick mind took in the bandages, and while he had no medical knowledge, he just figured it wouldn't take too long for her to heal. "So yeah, she'll be okay... Wonder what happened?"

"I dunno. We could always try to catch up to them and ask!" Eren started to dart after the Scouts, but Mikasa grabbed the back of his shirt.

"Eren that's a dumb idea." She admonished in her flat voice. "They could hurt or even kill you."

"But why would they? I'll just tell them I'm friends with Lilly! I want to see how she is!" Eren replied hotly.

"They worst they could do is refuse. It's not like their HQ is top secret here in Trost." Armin pointed out, wanting to see his friend too.

Mikasa just sighed and gave up. She let Eren's shirt go and within moments he was running to the HQ. He got up to the gate and was stopped by a Scout. "What's your business here, kid?" He demanded.

"I'm here... to see a friend..." Eren panted, soon catching his breath. "Her name is Lilly Zoe-Ackerman. She just got in?" He bit his lip, hoping he'd be able to see his close friend.

"I'm sorry, but we're not letting anyone visit." The Scout shook his head. "We have wounded to be tending to and we don't want to run risk of infection. Surely you can understand." He gave Eren a sorry look.

"Yeah... Yeah fine..." Eren angrily looked at the dirt. Yes he understood, knowing that it's not easy to get clean, and that just being around open wounds could lead to infection. That was common with the refugees within Wall Rose. Too many dirty people in an area and even the smallest cuts could get badly infected.

"I'm sorry. Come back in a few days and things should be healed over enough it'll be safe." The Scout suggested, and Eren nodded before he left, still angry. Armin heard the last bit and he patted his friend's shoulder.

"Hey, all we have to do is wait a bit and we'll be able to see her again!" The small blond tried to be optimistic.

"I know... But she might already be gone by then..." Eren shook his head, frustrated.

"Well, she has to pass through the rest of Trost so we could catch her before she goes through the gate. It won't be that difficult." Armin countered. That suggestion cheered Eren up and he nodded, excited for the chance to see Lilly again.

UGH there it is hope you all like it. Sorry for the long wait. And the next chapter may take a while too as I'll be off to college soon. I'm so sorry about that. Wish it was more regular but hopefully I'll get a start on the next!

Now for more shoutouts:

Again, thanks to Frantastic for all the help she's given me. I can't thank you enough.

To SkwidInk I'm glad I converted you to the Levihan and tadaaaa! She doesn't have any magical shifting powers, just awesome friends and family.

Finally to WithoutAnimeLifeIsPrettyShitty (damn your name is long), thanks for your review and support!