I can't thank you enough for reviewing the last chapter, it means a lot! There is some McCord fluff ahead, I hope you enjoy. It's probably going to be the last chapter.

When the car pulled into the street where the McCords were living, Elizabeth let out a sigh.
"Home sweet home", Henry smiled.
"Yeah. Feels much longer than a few days since I was home last."
"A lot has happened since."
"It sure has", Elizabeth agreed and tilted her head so that she and Henry could kiss. Then the car stopped in front of their house.
"Ready?"
"Absolutely", Elizabeth nodded. Henry got out of the car, opened the door on Elizabeth's side and helped her out of the car. With small and slow steps, they soon reached the front door and seconds later, Elizabeth finally set food in her home.
"Mom!"
"Welcome home!"
"It's so good to have you back!"
Her children exclaimed all at once as soon as they noticed that their parents had arrived. After some gentle hugging, Stevie asked: "Are you hungry? We have all of your favorites, waffles, ice-cream, pancakes, you name it."
"Why don't we make a picnic in our bedroom out of it?" Henry suggested. His actual intent for that question was his wife's tired expression.
"Yeah", Elizabeth nodded and the children made their way into the kitchen chatting right away.
Then Elizabeth looked at the stairs. She had never noticed how many of them there were.
"One step at a time, remember what Dr. Wilder said, climb stairs slowly and pause after every few steps, so that's exactly what we're going to do", Henry said as he saw Elizabeth's look.
"This'll take me years", Elizabeth murmured sourly.
"I'd carry you but that might not be the solution either, or what do you think?"
Elizabeth shook her head: "Thanks babe, but no, I don't think that'll feel any better than just, well, taking one step at a time", she repeated her husband's words smiling.
Though it didn't take Elizabeth years to get upstairs, it did take her quite some time and she couldn't help but feel a little frustrated about it. In the meantime, the kids had had enough time to prepare everything in their parents' bedroom.

There were trays full of food and drinks, balloons wrapped around the bedposts and flowers on the bedside table.
"Thank you, kids, this looks great", Elizabeth forgot about her frustration when she got into her bedroom. She immediately got comfortable on her side of the bed and was surrounded by her family in no time. They all found space on the spacious bed and enjoyed the comfort of being all together at home again.
After a few bites Elizabeth felt the exhaustion from the drive and just let herself drift into a peaceful sleep while being in the safety of her husband's arms and surrounded by her three children. The kids and Henry just let her sleep but stayed in the bedroom. They eventually put on one of Elizabeth's favorite movies and when she woke up again after some time, she gladly watched the rest of it with them. Afterwards, Stevie, Alison and Jason cleared the room and Elizabeth decided to brush her teeth and go to bed for the night. It took her some time to get to the bathroom and with her toothbrush in her hand she sat down toilet lid and started brushing. She looked around the familiar bathroom, took in the homie scent and was once more relieved to be home. That was until her eyes got stuck on the thrash can beside the vanity. It hasn't been used the last couple of days since Henry and Elizabeth had been in the hospital so right on top was still the pregnancy test Elizabeth had taken not so long ago.
Elizabeth turned off her toothbrush, rinsed her mouth and then just stood there, leaning on the vanity, staring at the can. It seemed like a lifetime ago when she had taken it. Elizabeth replayed the moment in her head again when Henry and she had found out that the test was positive. A wave of shame washed over Elizabeth. She had been so scared back then, so worried about how her life might change. She had thought that she wasn't able to do it. And now, that the possibility was gone, that the pregnancy wasn't any longer inside of her, she suddenly pictured a fourth child. Another person at the dinner table. Another extroversive, strong headed kid, with a kind heart. Another great mind, enriching her life. And she couldn't even be really happy about it back then.

"You OK?" Elizabeth heard her husband's voice and when she lifted her head she saw him leaning in the doorframe.
"Uh, yeah", Elizabeth nodded hesitantly.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I just", Elizabeth motioned to the trash can and then Henry saw what she meant.
"Oh right", Henry murmured. He walked over to Elizabeth and gently embraced her.
"I'm sorry, Babe. I hadn't thought about that", he whispered.
"I just feel so foolish", Elizabeth admitted, "I never pictured us with a fourth child, not even after the test was positive. I knew the risk of a miscarriage was high because of the IUD and everything. But now… it's like my mind is playing tricks on me and I can't help myself but think about how great that child would have been. You know, even though it was never meant to live."
"You, Elizabeth Adams McCord are in no way foolish. Everything happened so, so fast the last two weeks, it's no wonder we can't keep up with it mentally."
"You can't either?"
"No, Baby, I can't either. You know, when they took you into surgery", Henry sighed, "I was so scared, Elizabeth", Henry paused for a few seconds before he continued.
"And when we were told that you were going to be all right, I was so relieved, I couldn't put it into words. But at the same time, I felt bad for feeling relieved because we've just lost the idea of an addition to our family we have never planned or even wanted. This is confusing and you and I have every right to feel confused about it – especially you."
Elizabeth nodded and a single tear escape her eye. She looked up and Henry bend down so that they were able to kiss.
"Thank you", Elizabeth whispered.
"There's nothing to thank me for", Henry stroke the tear away with his thumb.
"Are you ready to go to bed?" Henry asked after noticing that Elizabeth had gotten paler the last couple of minutes.
"Yes", Elizabeth nodded. Henry put an arm around her waist, Elizabeth laid her head on his shoulder and with time they went back to the bedroom.
Elizabeth took her medications and was asleep within minutes after that.

After Henry made sure that Elizabeth was sound asleep, he went downstairs to check in with the kids who were still cleaning up the kitchen.
"Thank you, guys,", he said and put an arm around Ali.
"Of course," Stevie said and her siblings nodded in agreement.
"How's mom?" Ali asked.
"She's doing ok. It's a lot to process, but she'll be fine", Henry smiled and kissed Ali on top of her head.
"Is there anything we can do?" Jason asked.
"You're already doing it", Henry said, not without pride.
"Are you sad, that you're not going to have a baby?" Alison asked and Henry hugged her a little harder. Alison had always been perceptively but the older she got, the more sensitive she seemed to get.
"Well, you know we obviously didn't plan to have another child. After Jason was born, Mom and I knew that we were complete. So, I'm not gonna lie, when we thought that Mom was pregnant after the test was positive, we were completely overwhelmed and scared. It was totally different to the times we found out about the three of you. There wasn't much room for happiness this time. And then there was also the very high risk of a miscarriage. But before we were even able to wrap our heads around that, we found ourselves in the hospital and, well, you know everything from then on. Now, after some time has passed and we are starting to realize what happened, there is some sadness, yes. It does feel like something we have loved, even if it was only for a short time, was lost. But for me personally the relieve that Mom is home and recovering is still bigger", Henry admitted.
"I get that", Ali nodded.
"Yeah, me too", Jason said. Without any words, Jason and Stevie joined the embrace and Henry found himself surrounded by his children.
"You guys are amazing and everything we could have wished for. Thank you for helping us out so much in this demanding time", Henry murmured.
"And if there is anything you want to talk about or anything you want to know, just come to us. Talk to Mom or me, OK?"
"Yeah", "Yes", "OK" the three answered.
"It was scary", Ali whispered while they were still hugging.
"Yes, it was", Henry agreed, "but everything is going to be all right now."
"Thankfully", Stevie sighed and the embrace resolved.
"Yes, thankfully", Henry agreed and rubbed his eyes with one hand.
"We'll clean the rest up, go to bed, dad", Stevie said after she noticed the exhaustion in her father's face.
"You sure?"
"Go", Jason nodded.

Since it was Friday, everyone was able to sleep in the next day which they could all use. It had been days since Elizabeth had slept as well as that night and was relieved when there was no nurse and no doctor rushing into her room and wanting something from her. Henry got up first and prepared breakfast for the family. He was just about to prepare a tray for Elizabeth when he heard her coming down the stairs.
"Morning Babe", Elizabeth smiled while pausing on the stairs.
"Good morning", Henry quickly walked up the steps and gave Elizabeth a hand for the last stairs.
"What are you doing up?" he asked.
"I just wanted to find that perfect husband of mine", Elizabeth smiled and Henry chuckled.
"How about you get comfortable on the couch and then breakfast and coffee will be right up?"
A little later Elizabeth was seated on the couch, a blanket draped over her, a steaming cup of coffee in her hands and a plate full of pancakes balanced on her legs.
"You're spoiling me", she sighed in between two sips of coffee.
"You're supposed to be spoiled. Now more than ever", Henry smiled. Then the kids got up and joined their parents in the living room. Still in their pajamas the McCords decided to turn the PlayStation on and the next hours were filled with laughter, bantering and competing. It was after midday when Elizabeth decided to take a shower.
"Need any help?" Henry asked and Elizabeth hesitated for a moment.
"Maybe with changing the bandage?"
"Sure", Henry nodded.
They went upstairs together and Henry got everything Dr. Wilder had given them to change to bandage.
"You want to shower first?" Henry asked.
"Yeah, I'll just put a waterproof bandage over it", Elizabeth nodded and started to get undressed.
"Mind if I join you?" Henry asked with a twinkle in his eyes that made Elizabeth laugh out loud.
"That depends."
"Depends on what?"
"I get to determine the water temperature!"
"You always do, Babe", Henry played outraged.
"But you always complain that you can't breathe because of the steam."
"I'll keep my mouth shut", Henry promised.
"Well, in that case Dr. McCord", Elizabeth smiled and motioned to the shower. They both knew that Henry mostly wanted to join Elizabeth because he wanted to be there in case she needed help but it felt good to joke around a little.

A while later, Elizabeth was lying on the bed and Henry was starting to peel the bandage off. Henry noticed that the bruises from the surgery on Elizabeth's stomach weren't as dark anymore and that the swelling was almost completely gone.
"Say something if I'm hurting you, ok?" Henry asked.
"I'm fine, it's not as tender anymore", Elizabeth answered.
"It's looking better", Henry stated when the Band-Aid was off. Elizabeth lifted her head from the pillow to take a look.
"Gosh, this remembers me so much of when Jason was born", Elizabeth said at the look of her healing incision.
"Yeah, it's just a little bigger, isn't it?"
"Maybe a little", Elizabeth shrugged as she laid her head back onto the pillow.
"kay, you are all set", Henry said after a while and lifted his head, only to see that Elizabeth had fallen asleep again. He kissed her gently on the forehead, laid the sheets over her resting body and turned the lights off.

Hours later, Elizabeth woke up disorientated. It took her a while to realize that she was in her own bed at that it was only a little after 6pm. Elizabeth turned her bedside lamp on and carefully sat up. It took her some time to get comfortable and when she finally did, Elizabeth took a deep breath in and out. She allowed herself to just let her thoughts run wild for a moment and stared into the nothingness. She thought about the births of her three children, about how happy she had been. She thought about the many conversations she and Henry had had about the possibility of a fourth child and about the day all three of them had had the stomach flue and Elizabeth and Henry decided that three was more than enough. She thought about how small, how very, very small the possibility for her to become pregnant at 46 had been and how it somehow happened anyway. And then she thought about how relatively small the risk of an ectopic pregnancy had been. But it happened. Both of those things happened and it just didn't seem fair. They hadn't even tried to have a baby, she had had the IUD for years, so, if there was a God somewhere, why did I have to become pregnant anyhow, Elizabeth asked herself bitterly. Emotions started to overcome her out of the blue and once again, Elizabeth started to tear up. I don't even have a reason to feel sad about this, I never wanted it, it was never meant to be, Elizabeth tried to stop the tears from falling but she failed. They kept coming, rolling down the sides of her face and though it hurt her abdomen, Elizabeth started to sob. With her face buried in her hands, blond hair falling in front of her face, Elizabeth just sat there, in her bed and cried.

It was Stevie, who entered her parent's bedroom after she had heard her mother's sobs. The rest of the family was still downstairs, thinking that Elizabeth was still asleep and Stevie had wanted to get a charger for her phone out of her room when she heard Elizabeth crying.
She opened the door carefully and quietly walked to the bed. She sat down next to her mom, who hasn't even looked up yet, and pulled her into a gentle hug. Still with her head in her heads, Elizabeth continued to cry for a little while but eventually calmed. Stevie handed her a tissue which Elizabeth gratefully took.
"I'm sorry, honey", Elizabeth said after taking a deep breath.
"Why?" Stevie smiled compassionately.
"I'm supposed to hold you, when you're crying, not the other way around", Elizabeth smiled faintly.
"Well, I think I'm old enough to switch places when needed."
Mother and daughter where now sitting closely next to each other, leaning on the headboard of the bed.
"How are you feeling, Mom?" Stevie asked after a while.
"I'm OK."
"No, I mean, how are you really feeling", Stevie repeated her question.
"I'm really OK", Elizabeth persisted at first but then she said: "at least, considering everything. It's not easy for me to wrap my head around everything that happened and being alone… well, it just kinda hit me, you know?"
Stevie nodded.
"But I am feeling much better already", Elizabeth smiled and now laid an arm around her daughter who rested her head on her mother's shoulder.
"I'm glad. I was really scared, Mom", Stevie admitted.
"Oh, I believe you sweetie and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But I'm really fine", Elizabeth reassured.
"And I am so proud of you, for handling everything so wonderfully around here while your dad and I couldn't."
"Thanks, mom", Stevie said and a tear escaped her eye. It didn't get unnoticed by Elizabeth and she held her daughter a little closer than before. They sat like that for a while without saying anything until Henry entered the room.
"Hey you two", he murmured. It was clear that Elizabeth and Stevie weren't having a cheerful conversation so Henry sat down on the bed, right next to Elizabeth and was able to pull both her and Stevie into his arms. He didn't need to ask what was going on, he just held them both which was the only thing he could do for them at that moment.

The next day, as it appointed, Elizabeth's OB-GYN Dr. Morgan came by to check on her recovery. Henry greeted her at the door. She had been Elizabeth's doctor for many years now, she had been there when all three of the children were born so Henry knew her to and they had a trusting relationship.
"How's she doing?" Dr. Morgan asked after a while.
"She's definitely recovering but I think this whole ordeal has left a bigger impact on her than she is admitting to herself", Henry replied.
Dr. Morgan nodded: "Recovering physically is one thing but recovering emotionally is a whole other thing that gets frequently underestimated."
Henry led her into the living room where Elizabeth was lying on the couch.
"Hey there", Dr. Morgan said when she saw Elizabeth.
"Hi, Dr. Wilder, thank you for incuring the drive over here", Elizabeth smiled.
"Of course! How are you doing?" the doctor asked. She sat down at the end of the couch and put the doctor's bag she was carrying on the ground.
"I'm doing OK", Elizabeth replied.
"That must have been quite a shock", Dr. Morgan stated attentively.
"I would lie if I'd say that it wasn't", Elizabeth smiled wryly.
"Is the pain from the surgery getting better?"
"Yeah, it is, though it feels like it's stagnating a bit now."
"That shouldn't be anything to worry about. Your body will simply take the time it needs. You might not feel any pain one day and a lot more on another one. Just listen to your body", Dr. Morgan suggested and Elizabeth nodded though hearing over and over again that she should listen to her body was starting to get on her nerves.
"And how are you doing emotionally?" Dr. Morgan knew about Elizabeth's experience with PTSD after Iran and after what she had heard from Henry, she wanted to make sure that her patient was on the right track to recovery.
Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders slightly: "Mostly OK", she didn't feel like going into her feelings at this point.
"Mostly?" Dr. Morgan pushed her gently.
"Well, I get sad or angry from time to time, but I guess considering everything, that shouldn't be too abnormal."
"Not at all. You have every reason to feel angry and sad. Besides, your body's hormonal balance has been in flux. That can influence your emotions a lot and even lead to depressive symptoms. It can also lead to dizziness, have you experienced any of that?"
"I have had some dizzy spells, before and after the surgery", Elizabeth nodded.
"All right, keep a close eye on that. If it doesn't get better within the next week, we should do some more tests", Dr. Morgan said and then examined Elizabeth.
"You're healing nicely", the doctor said satisfied after the examination and packed her bag.
"Good", Elizabeth sighted.
"Keep changing the dressing every day. I will come by in three days and then the stiches should be able to come out."
"Ok, great", Elizabeth said while she pulled her shirt down.

"Whenever you feel like it, you could start to go for little walks. I'm sure you are eager to get out of the house", Dr. Morgan knew her patient.

"Gosh, yes, I can't wait!"

"You just need to take it very, very slow. Even if it's frustrating, a couple of minutes at the beginning should be enough. Go slow, don't strain yourself, don't do it if you feel any pain or dizziness", the doctor instructed and Elizabeth nodded.

"Call me anytime if your pain gets worse or if you have any questions, all right?" Dr. Morgan asked. "I will, thank you", Elizabeth smiled. Henry had given Elizabeth some privacy with the doctor, hoping she would feel freer to Dr. Morgan about how she felt. Though Elizabeth and he usually shared everything, sometimes it felt good to talk to someone else.

Henry led Dr. Morgan to the door and afterwards went to the family room where Elizabeth was still lying on the couch, flipping through the channels. When she saw Henry, she turned the TV off and smiled at him.

"Everything good?" Henry asked. He sat down at the other end of the couch, lifted Elizabeth's feet and rested them on his thighs where he startet massaging them gently. "Yep, healing nicely", Elizabeth repeated the doctor's words nodding. "Awesome!"

"Yeah, she also said that I can start to go on little walks if I feel up to it", Elizabeth smiled.

"That's great, babe", Henry beamed. He was so relieved and happy that Elizabeth was recovering so well, he just couldn't hide it.

"It is! And Henry, I was thinking that I would ask Blake if he could bring some of the paperwork that needs to get done urgently tomorrow. I don't think I can stand hanging around all day much longer doing mindless stuff."

Henry laughed out loud. "What?" Elizabeth asked a little confused. She had expected to get the are you sure, you're up to that already? Lecture.

"I'm sorry babe, I have been wondering how much longer you would be able to resist the temptation of calling your staff. But if you feel like you're up to it", Henry shrugged.

"I absolutely feel like I'm up to it", Elizabeth sighed.

"I'm glad you're starting to feel better", Henry said and Elizabeth got a sense of how worried her husband had been.

"Me too", she smiled faintly, "I love you, Henry."

"I love you too."

"Thank you for… well, for being you", Elizabeth smiled and Henry chuckled.

"Any time, baby. Thank you for being you too