Ginny and Harry came back from the funeral and Ginny felt perplexed! Nicole had just told them all about how Colin had gone to the school dance with her, how they had been friends since they were babies and how she always felt like her and Colin were meant to be together…but she had said there was always something in the way. And now Ginny knew why…that something had possibly been her.

Harry was silent as they stood facing the Burrow, neither of them going inside or making a move. There was a sense of disbelief radiating between them. Harry was the first to break the tension, "I suspected he had feelings for you...but not this much!" He shook his head in astonishment and Ginny groaned, "Me too! He was very good at hiding it all! I feel like I only just scratched the surface with him now."

Harry took her hand in his and said gently, "Hey, don't beat yourself up about this, Ginny! If he wanted to keep it from you, I'm sure he had his reasons. Maybe he just wanted to keep the two worlds separate." Nicole had actually turned out to be rather nice, once she had stopped criticizing Ginny for not knowing about her. She'd spoken to Harry more willingly though, focusing on his questions and answering them with fuller sentences. Ginny was even pretty sure she'd seen interest sparked in Nicole when Harry was speaking to her. This had made Ginny feel protective of him and she had notably taken his hand in hers to make a point.

Now, she just felt deflated and angry with Colin. Why had he not told her all of these things about himself? Nicole said that not only had he loved photography, but he had also enjoyed writing. He apparently used to write stories in his free time. Ginny wished she had known! She would have loved to read them. She sighed and mumbled, "I feel like such an idiot, not even knowing that he had this whole other life!" Harry took her hand in his and he said, "Hey, it's not your fault. You can't be upset by this…"

They had reached the front of the house and Ginny mumbled, "Well I am." She released Harry's hand and stepped inside before climbing the stairs to her bedroom. She did not seek Harry out for the rest of the day. When Hermione came in to announce that dinner was ready, she claimed she wasn't hungry. After all, if he mum wasn't attending meals, why did she need to?

XXX

Ginny didn't go to help rebuild the castle the next day either. She didn't want to be around people. A large part of the reason was because she felt shaken about how much she had just discovered about one of her best friends, and now it was hitting home that she would never see him again. She didn't go down for breakfast either. Hermione ended up bringing her some, and she accepted it just to make it look like she was eating.

When they returned home, there was a knock on the door and Harry asked cautiously, "Ginny, please come out?" Ginny felt tears sliding down her cheeks. It was the first time she had felt like crying in a long time. She didn't want to see him and she didn't want his comfort. Didn't she understand that what she needed was to be alone?

Dinner came around and now she was beginning to feel a little hungry. She opened the door and could smell the heavenly scent of Butternut soup. She cautiously made her way downstairs and Hermione beamed when she said Ginny, "Hey Gin! We were just sitting down to eat." She was stirring the pot while the boys were talking over mugs of tea. Ron shushed Harry when he saw her, "Hey Ginbug. You want some tea?" Ginny nodded gratefully, "Tea would be nice, thanks Ron."

Ron nodded and headed over to the kettle. She still felt achingly empty inside. The realization of the death of her friends was really hitting home now. Harry watched her nervously and she commented, "You know Harry, I'm not a paper doll. I'm not going to break at any second." Harry stared at her before replying, "Yeah but you've been shutting me out. Shutting us out. What do you say to me when I do that? You hate it!"
Ginny mumbled under her breath, "And now you know why." He glanced nervously at Ron, who shrugged. Hermione announced then, "Dinners ready!" She dished out the soup and Harry and Ron continued a conversation that Ginny had no desire to be a part of. None at all. When Hermione joined them, she asked, "How are you feeling?" Ginny stared at her best female friend and said hollowly, "I should have known! I should have known about everything Nicole told me! But no! I was such a selfie person that I was too obsessed with my own business to pay any attention to all of that!"
The boys halted their conversation and Hermione replied carefully, "You can't beat yourself up over that Ginny…" and now she stood up and slammed her hand on the table furiously, "Yes I can! Do you know how horrible I was to him all the time?! I was so nasty that at one point I basically told him to leave me alone! And I was so consumed in my own boy struggles with Harry and Cedric that I didn't bother to even try and be nicer to him! I am despicable!" she huffed out angrily.

There was a silence that ensued, and she clasped her head with her hands, "I really, really hate myself right now. So please stop giving me sympathy. I don't deserve it." She glanced up to find all of them staring at each other in bewilderment. Ginny nodded stiffly and then removed herself from the table, "Good. That's settled then…" she said stiffly and then she turned to go back to her room.

XXX

The following day Ginny stayed home from rebuilding too. She was in no mood to be in a place that had been the very last place so many of her friends had breathed their last breath. She sat and stared out the window, feeling like she could just curl up in a ball and stay there forever. She didn't want to see anyone or do anything with her life anymore. It was pointless and meaningless

There was a knock on the door. It was well after ten, so Harry, Ron and Hermione had definitely left by now. She sighed and she replied to the person, "Come in." She was staring garden, trying not to think about anything. A gnome came out of the bushes and tried to pull open the gate by jumping up and failing terribly. She smirked at it, knowing it was so stupid and somewhat feeling slightly jealous that it's biggest challenge in life was getting out of the property.

The door opened and she heard a voice she hadn't heard in a while. She turned and jumped in surprise. Her mother stood there, clad in her nightgown and looking a mess. If Ginny thought she felt bad, her mother was state. Dark circles lined her eyes and she said hoarsely, "Ginny, we need to talk." Ginny felt her shoulders stiffen and she whispered, "What about?"
Her mother sat down on her bed and patted the mattress. She said slowly, "About…how we are both not coping with our losses." Ginny instantly felt defensive, "I'm coping! I've been coping perfectly fine!" Her mother raised her eyebrow, "Not from what our father has told me. Ron told him you haven't been eating."

Of course her stupid brother would go and blab about her to her father! Could she ever trust Ron with anything? No. She folded her arms, "Well it's my choice whether I want to eat or not." Her mother sighed in exhaustion, "Ginny, don't be like this. Don't give me another reason to worry, please. I know you, and you're stronger and better than this."

Ginny rolled her eyes, "Maybe I don't want to be strong anymore, mum. I mean look at you! All depressed about Percy and he wasn't even that great." Her mother was silent for a moment before her voice cracked, "I still feel like I failed him. It's my job as a mother to protect all my children. I couldn't do that." She began crying and Ginny suddenly realized why her mother was so out of sorts with this death. She was feeling just as guilty as Ginny was, if not more so.

Ginny gingerly went over to the bed and sat down. She patted her mother's back as she cried fast tears. She held her mother and her mother whispered, "Don't be so harsh on yourself, Ginny. No matter what it is that's bothering you. Don't do what I'm doing to myself."
Ginny felt tears sliding down her cheek, "I'm afraid it's too late for that, mum. Guilt is a funny thing" She patted her mothers shoulders and for the first time ever she felt like an adult. She was the one doing the comforting and her mother needed her. She had to stop being so consumed in her own worries and focus on helping her mother feel better. And only then did she realize how similar she and her mother were. They both felt intense pain and they both felt intense guilt.

Like mother like daughter.

A/N: Hey all! I'm so sorry for not posting lately! Life has just been so hectic and Christmas is fast approaching. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and Merry Christmas weekend to all!