Warning this one's kinda boring lol...another one's coming though...
Clary sighed as Jace roused her from her nap. It'd been a day since her breakdown, and Clary had managed to convince Jace to stay home with her during that day and help her...distract her thoughts. Was she crazy for not telling him she was crazy? Anyways, she was still tired from their...fucking? Is that what she should call it? Love making sounded a little too much for what they did...hell, she didn't even know what love felt like. Either way her joints ached and her muscles cried in protest as she sat up in the bed. Despite her own nakedness Jace was wearing a suit.
"Hey baby..." his smirk spoke more than anything he could vocalise. He had a surprise...and Clary was going to like it.
But he's lying remember, don't trust him, can she trust him, is he going to hurt her will she hurt him?
Clary shook her head a little, "Yah?" she questioned.
Jace held out a plastic dressing bag, which Clary assumed had a dress in it, and quickly glanced at his watch. " Isabelle is waiting in the foyer, she'll help you get ready. We're going to a dinner party to find out more information on Carlin. Well we were fucking all yesterday I had Alec on gaining intel, Boss just transferred us onto the mission full-time. Anyways..." he glanced down and then to the side, his eyes holding a wall in front of his intentions. "I want you to come with us."
Clary furrowed her brows and took the bag from his arms, crinkling plastic. "Why?"
When Jace glanced back at her his eyes bore into her own. His jaw was tensed, teeth almost gritted when he spoke. "I don't know."
Something hit Clary in the heart and it made her conciously work to get it to beat again. Liarliarpantsonfire why was he lying? Lover, liar, which one was he? He's so beautiful she should fuck him again what about the men her father hit her she almost died when will she kill the next man? How was she going to find him.
She'll have to ask Jace for a favor. Shit. She already owed him big time.
"Sure! I'd love to go with you guys!" She packed on the enthusiasm to hide the pain building in her brain. Headaches. Add that to the What Clary Fuckin Despises list.
"Great...I-Clary I-there's something-" Clary winced at another sharp pain and stopped paying attention to Jace. He's going to lie again he's beautiful, he's going to kill her isn't he?!
"Shut up!" Clary gasped out and clutched her head, the stabbing pain ebbing slightly. She looked back at Jace and saw his gated eyes. "Sorry I'm just-I wasn't talking to..." what was she going to say? Sorry you think I insulted you well I shouted at the voices in my head? "Let's just get Isabelle in here please..." Jace nodded and smirked again.
He left only to be replaced by Isabelle seconds later. She walked into the room and whipped the sheet that was covering Clary's body to the floor. Isabelle gave her a once over and nodded in approval. "I can work with this." she stated and threw a bag at Clary. "Get dressed." Clary put on the black lacy underwear from the bag, no bra, and unzipped the dressing bag. In it was a shimmering strip of cloth that looked like it was weaved from the night sky. When it was on it hugged all of her curves, falling to the ground in a straight line that split up one leg, and falling open in the back to reveal her creamy shoulder blades and faintly blotchy skin. The blotches Jace once called beautiful. She wondered if he still thought that. Isabelle pushed Clary back onto the edge of the bed and attacked her face with brushes and different colours of grey, black and green. In an expanse of 10 minutes Isabelle finished and Clary was shoved out the door to put on strappy heels, without even glancing at her reflection. And it was weird because unlike last time she was dressed up, Jace's eyes lingered on her curvy figure. His hand was at her back and they were out the door.
It was really weird. Because Clary had never been self conscious before, never had the time or care when she was abused, plus the Voice always reassured her she was beautiful. That she was powerful. That she was a goddess. Except she wasn't, really. Clary caught her reflection in the metallic surface of the elevator. She was sloppy and odd looking, with carroty hair and too green eyes. Her freckles stood out despite the cover of makeup, her eyebrows dark red against such pale skin. The smoky eyes Isabelle so sloppily applied made Clary look like she'd already been out all night, like she'd been high and drunk and asleep and then went to this dinner party for the sole sake of crashing it.
And she didn't look like her mother anymore. Under the darkness of her eyes, she became...Clary. Not a Jocelyn clone.
Clary didn't like herself. And it wasn't the thoughts nagging in the back of her head...it was her. Clary herself didn't like the way her nose tipped a little too high, or her shoulders were a little too broad. She felt as if she were in a fun-house. Like her reflection couldn't be her own, it had to be distorted and misshapen...because she'd ever seen this before. She'd only seen high cheek bones and beauty with the Voice in her head.
Clary closed her eyes against her mind. It hurt to think so hard. She hated this normalcy. She reached up a hand and stroked her hair again. Come back, she thought silently against the roar of her mind. It quieted for a second. Come back to me please...
Clary jolted as the elevator stopped. "Let's go catch us a bad guy..." Isabelle's tinkling laugh sounded as Jace smirked. Their eyes held each others for a moment as the same mischief glistened between them. Clary felt a darkness weigh in her heart. She wondered if Isabelle and Jace had ever...no.
But maybe...Clary remembered suddenly when she and Jace laid together in the car, Isabelle's tone sounded jealous in her memories, her banter with Jace now flirtatious.
Clary hadn't ever felt this either. Jealousy was as foreign as love and lust used to be.
On the ride over to the mansion clary was mostly quiet. Jace and Isabelle continued in ther normal chatter with each other, Clary gritting her teeth every time Jace barked out a laugh. Alec chimed in as they pulled into the driveway, however, simply stating to Clary to "not talk to anyone, this is undercover work."
"Who is Carlin, exactly...?" Clary asked Alec for she wasn't going to talk to Jace while he flirted with another woman. He looked over at her in surprise and slight hesitation, like he never expected to actually talk to her.
"We don't really know what he looks like," he started unsurely, walking towards the doors. Leaning closer towards her, Clary could almost feel his hair tickle against her cheek. " we've had rats in with his crew for a while now, but we always get turned around when we're close to finding him. It's like he freaking has eyes in the Agency, which is absolutely absurd."
Clary was confused. "Wait, what's the Agency?"
Isabelle swept in as they approached the regal building, a massive stone staircase leading to carved mahogany doors. The house looked similar to a plantation, with its humongous lawn and its brilliant white structure. The windows had to have been made of crystal, for the light that shone out was reflected into sparkling yellow beams. "The Agency is what we work for, our parents were in it and they taught us how to fight so we could continue the family line," she shook her head and fluffed her black haired mane, stricking against the sexy red gown she wore. "It's a lowkey organization, run since the early 1900's, I'm not surprised Jace hasn't told you any of this."
"I heard that" Jace's low timber interrupted the space between the girls shoulders and Isabelle smiled before turnig slightly and punching his shoulder.
"I wanted you to," she leered back. It was flirty they were flirting hedoesn'tloveyouyou'renothinghe'snot yours!
"Agh!" Clary pulled away from the group as they entered the foyer, clutching her temples. "Shut up!" she whispered. She heard Alec call over her shoulder, asking if she was okay. She just waved him off with an excuse of a headache. Smoothing back her hair, Clary followed them into the ball room. It was a grand space, tables scattered about, but mostly with people in expensive clothing mingling in the middle. It was odd, Clary had grown up in the slums and yet she felt more in place here than anywhere else. She supposed it was because no one would notice a young girl amongst all these beautiful and elegant woman. She was once again invisible.
Clary didn't know why she now felt comofortable with that, she'd always wanted the spotlight. Did it come with the self-consciousness. Being normal was so fucking confusing, goddamnit!
Jace placed a hand on Isabelle's bare back, pointing to a short man in the corner. All thoughts of jealousy fled though, when she saw his face.
A short man walked through the doors, appearing around the corner in Clary's dingy old living room. Dad had already sent his friends away, their smiles brilliantly yellow, their noses twitching, hands wiping away any excess white stuff. Clary was in the corner with her headless Barbie and Dumpster Barbie, they were princesses in a palace made of gold where no short men came around with greasy looking skin and a shiny bald head. His teeth were uncommonly white as he sneered at Daddy, throwing a wad of bills on the dirty table top. Cigarette smoke hung in the air so thick that Clary could only notice small things about the man. His eyes were kind of yellow, his irises a muddy brown. Mother came into the room with a tea, like she always does before sleep. She dropped it when she saw the man, surprised Clary supposed. As Dumpster Barbie met Prince Charming at the ball, Mommy was taken away with the greasy bald man, and didn't come back until Clary was put to bed.
Clary never even noticed her tears.
Snapped out of the memory Clary felt a light finger tap her shoulder. It was a butler, offering her Champaign. She took two and drained one, enjoying the numbing of her mind, keeping the other one to sip. Jace turned back to Clary, a serious expression on his face.
You'remadmadmad he's a liar you are
mad!
Clary shuddered as his amber eyes swept over her. He smiled, but Clary could tell it was laced with confusion and something she couldn't place. "There's a man here that's confirmed to be in Carlin's inner circle, like predicted. Isabelle and I are going to try and connect with him..." he shot her a questioning look. "Will you be alright alone?"
She almost laughed, "When have I ever shown signs of not being okay alone?" she leered. He shrugged and darted his glance to Isabelle and back to Clary again.
"It's just that Alec is working the grounds and I..." his eyebrows furrowed and his golden eyes turned away from her face. "I don't want t-to leave you alone. You were a target for Carlin's men twice now...I don't want to risk them noticing you."
It softened her a little bit, his concern, the jealousy that hardened around her heart chipping away at itself. She put a hand to his cheek while trying to drown out the endless chorus of he'snotyourshedoesn'tcareyou'renothing's in her brain. "I'll be fine."
He sighed. "Okay just...get a drink and don't talk to anyone." Clary nodded and watching him and Isabelle saunter away. She could do that. Get another drink.
Scanning the room she grabbed another glass of champagne, walking into the sea of people trying to blend in.
"You look a little lost..." a disembodied voice sounded from behind her. She turned around and met the eyes of a quirky looking boy-man. Yes, boy-man. She couldn't decide if he was younger or older than her 17 year-old self, and that was astounding. Clary was normally great at guessing ages.
Ages, he's been with Isabelle for ages, years before you you're nothingntohingnothingyou'renothing!
"I'm not lost just...lonely!" she exclaimed with a smile. She liked this boy-man. His hair was a mousy brown, slicked back in a haphazard manor that fit his rumpled suit. Brown eyes were hidden behind shiny glasses with black frames. He chuckled, genuine and soft. Clary felt it draw her towards him, smiling she placed a hand on his arm. "Are you lost?"
"Very," he said, glancing around him and stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I don't know half the people here..."
"Well then why come?" she blurted out. Clumsy, stupid, idiiotyoudon'tknowhowtodoanything! She shook her head. "Sorry, that was harsh."
He chuckled. "No, no it's fine. I'm here for a friend. He, ah, isn't very tech savy and needed my help on securities walkie talkies." His hand reached up to scratch his neck before descending to hang in the space before her. "Listen, my name is Simon. I think you're pretty and you should dance with me." He huffed a sigh. It was kind of cute...quirky, and Clary liked him.
Liked him like a dog, or a brother. She glanced over to see Jace's hand resting just a little too close to Isabelle's bottom, watched as Isabelle reached an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek. She turned to Simon. "I'd love to."