"Hey, Carrots, you okay?"
"Yes, why?"
"Your foot is thumping."
Judy looked down at her right foot, which was bouncing against the carpeted floor in an extremely rapid fashion. At the sight, the bunny sighed and looked over at Nick, who took her paw reassuringly.
"You don't need to be nervous, Fluff."
"I wouldn't be if we didn't have to do this at all," Judy muttered.
"You know we have to, though. It's the only way you can go back to work. One therapy session, that's all," Nick smiled easily.
Of course, he would think this was easy.
The couple sat on a tan couch with large cushions that sunk in comfortably with their weight. They were seated in a small office, surrounded by large bookcases and several well-cared for plants. The couch they were on sat facing a coffee table made with dark wood and a large desk made of the same material. Behind the desk sat an empty black swivel chair, which had been slightly turned to face the windows that covered the far wall. The view from the small office was astounding, giving a detailed depiction of the bustling city below.
In her anxious state, Judy's eyes scanned the room, examining every detail. There were several books about general psychology and books about the anatomy of the brain for just about every species of animal. The desk was well organized – not a pen or piece of paper out of place. The large desktop computer placed on the desk was dark with the exception of a screensaver gliding lazily across the screen.
Judy and Nick were dressed professionally, Judy in a white blouse and a black pencil skirt with a large necklace around her neck, Nick actually wearing his full police uniform and not just some outfit he had scraped off of the bedroom floor that morning.
It was early, nearly eight in the morning. Judy and Nick had arrived at the Zootopia Police Department's Psychology Evaluation Department (which was located on the top floor of the ZPD) nearly fifteen minutes prior and had been promptly seated in their current location by a friendly lioness secretary. The couple's four children had spent the night at Mrs. Wilde's home, and were completely unaware of the situation, believing that they were just spending quality time with their grandmother.
Judy jumped slightly at the opening of the office door behind her, her thoughts scattering immediately. Both her and Nick turned and immediately stood to greet Itali Wolfard, lead ZPD psychologist and Officer Wolfard's wife of more than a decade. The wolf greeted them with a smile and sweet tones, shaking paws with the couple before insisting they sit back down. The wolf then sat down on a tan armchair that was just off to the side of the couch, a clipboard and pen in paw. She seemed relaxed, completely at ease, almost as much as Nick.
"Is there anything I can get you two?" the wolf asked in a modulated tone.
Both Judy and Nick pleasantly declined.
"So, Officer Hopps – may I call you Judy? You can call me Itali. I understand that both you and Officer Wilde work with my husband."
"Yes, he's a truly extraordinary officer," Judy smiled, her foot still thumping.
"Funny, he says the same thing about you," Itali chuckled.
Her voice was incredibly soothing, and Judy found herself relaxing slightly, but not enough.
"Judy, we're here because your recent trauma has surely left more than physical scars, and here at the ZPD, we just want to ensure you're in wonderful physical, mental, and emotional states before you continue your work. We understand you do quite a bit for the ZPD, and we just want to make sure that you aren't going through all of this by yourself."
Judy nodded, casting a small glance at Nick, who smiled reassuringly, still holding her paw firmly.
"Of course, all of this is completely confidential," Itali continued. "And you stated that you would like Nick to accompany us through this, correct?"
Judy nodded, throwing another small glance in Nick's direction. Itali also nodded and scribbled a quick note on the clipboard in her lap.
"Let's start with a little bit about yourself. I hear you're an amazing officer, but also an amazing mother. How many children do you have?"
"Four," Judy smiled at the thought of her children. "Three boys, one girl."
"Three boys – I know what that's like," Itali chuckled. "How long have you and Nick been partners here at the ZPD?"
"About eight years."
"How would you describe your relationship?"
"Perfect," Judy chuckled, a small blush spreading across her cheeks. "Nick and I have been partners and good friends for a long time now, and it's all been amazing."
Another note on the clipboard.
"Now, Judy," Itali said as she gestured to the clipboard. "It says here that this is not your first traumatic experience, is that correct?"
Judy felt her anxiety rising again, constricting her chest as it did so. Here we go…
"Yes, that's correct."
"You were attacked in an alleyway by a savage fox, which resulted in several surgeries, vocal rehabilitation, and weeks of rest."
Judy's paw instinctively glided over her throat, where several scars from the incident still stuck out against her grey fur. Images of the alley, the savage fox, the blood, and Nick flooded her brain. The ghost of the pain rushed back, Nick's voice from the past filling her ears.
"It's okay, Carrots. It's going to be okay. I've got you."
It had been awhile since she had given that incident thought; it had been years ago, after all. Judy closed her eyes and shook the images mentally, focusing back on Itali, who continued to read from the clipboard.
"You were then attacked by polar bears in a warehouse in Tundratown when you were ten weeks pregnant, which led to – let's see – several gashes, severe bruising, a broken humerus, and a broken clavicle."
Judy felt Nick shift slightly next to her. Judy glanced sideways at him, knowing he must be slightly uncomfortable at the mention of the event that had left him with not only gashes and bruises, but a ruptured spleen, three shattered ribs, and a snapped leg. The event, of course, which Judy had caused by being impulsive rather than rational.
"This is all my fault."
This was another event that she hadn't given much thought recently.
"You suffered from placenta praevia and required surgery."
"Get a doctor. She's bleeding… It's okay, Judy. Judy, look at me, it's going to be okay."
"Your placenta then later ruptured after delivery."
"Is she going to be okay? Please. Is she going to be okay?"
"That brings me to the events of this last November, when you were kidnapped and tortured for over a month."
"Judy, Darling, we're just getting started. I've waited years for this."
Judy took a deep breath.
"You've really done your research," she said with a forced smile.
Itali replied with an expression of careful kindness.
"Judy, you've been through a lot, and yet, this is the first time you've stepped foot in my office."
"I've learned to manage," the bunny shrugged.
"No, you haven't," Itali stated, her stare focused on Judy. "You have only learned to tolerate for brief periods of time."
Judy remained quiet, now staring at her lap. She felt Nick give her paw a small squeeze, but from the look on his face, it was clear that he agreed with Itali's words. Itali set her clipboard to the side and leaned back in her chair.
"Judy, tell me about your nightmares."
Judy looked up suddenly, eyes meeting Itali's. Itali's eyes were a bright blue, vigilant and piercing; they bore through Judy and her feelings easily. The wolf was reading her like an open book, and Judy didn't like it.
"I d-don't have–"
"I can only help you if you tell me how you're feeling. I can tell you're having nightmares, Judy. You look exhausted, and this exhaustion runs deeper than being a mother of four. You aren't sleeping, and when you do sleep, you don't sleep well."
Judy felt Nick's eyes on her, a concerned look focused on her. His hold on her paw slackened slightly, enough to create a distance. He knew she had been having nightmares, but he didn't think they were occurring every night.
"Yes," Judy breathed. "I have nightmares."
Judy felt her chest tightening slowly, and felt her body closing in on itself.
"What are your nightmares about?" Itali inquired.
Judy blinked, trying to keep her facial expressions and tone even.
"Her," Judy swallowed hard. "Valerie, and sometimes Culpeo."
"What do you want from me?"
"I want to hear you beg for your life."
"What do you see in your dreams, Judy?"
"I-I see Culpeo and his claws; Valerie c-close to me, whispering her threats. I see the entrance to the abandoned office building and see how close I am to finally going h-home, but it never works."
Judy was practically whispering, practically talking to herself, but she felt as if she were announcing her pain to the world.
"You think you can run, Judy? I'm going to teach you what happens when you run. Culpeo, break it."
"No! Please, don't! Please, don't! I won't run again! Valerie, please, don't–Ah!"
"How does that make you feel?"
"It makes me feel–it m-makes me–" Judy stuttered, shaking her head, not sure what to say.
Shockingly, she found that her anger was beginning to rise with each word that proved difficult.
"Judy, you have to talk to me; that's how we make progress."
"I don't know how it makes me feel, okay?" Judy cried, now on her feet.
Her paws were clenched tightly, and her whole body was shaking. Her face and blood felt hot. Nick look slightly startled, but Itali remained completely composed.
"Judy, I'm going to ask you a few things, and they may be a bit hard to comprehend right now, but I want you to think about them, okay?"
Judy didn't say anything, only continued to watch the wolf, her chest heaving as she stood alone.
"Judy, since you've been home, have you felt inaccurate?"
"What?" Judy breathed, her eyes narrowing.
"Have you felt inaccurate? Have you felt like a lesser wife or a lesser mother?"
Only able to stare in disbelief, Judy attempted to push her burning emotions down as she listened. Itali tilted her head to the side in inquiry.
"Or…" she thought aloud, "Have you considered Valerie to be better than you, or worth more than you? Have you considered Valerie to mean more to Nick than what you mean to him?"
"I still don't understand what he sees in you – a weak, frail bunny. You're just prey, nothing more, and when I'm finished, Nick will finally realize that."
Judy's blood boiled, her eyes flashing with deadly anger. She felt Nick reach out and place a paw on her arm, trying to pull her back down to the couch, but she only shook him off impatiently.
"I don't want to talk about this!" Judy scoffed, tears stinging her eyes as she looked wildly from Nick to Itali. "It was one thing to live through it, but now I have to talk about it like it's something I read in a–in a magazine?"
The bunny was livid and flustered.
"No, thank you! I sat in that chair with–with t-that witch for a month! Because of her, I saw more of my own blood than I ever should have! Because of h-her, I spent weeks in the hospital! Because of her, I still can't walk c-correctly! I had to s-suffer through listening to her talk about revenge and m-my husband – who couldn't even find me, by the way! I was left all alone, and now you all want me to keep reliving it! I'm not doing that, I won't!"
Leaving behind a still calm Itali and a hurt Nick, Judy stormed out of the room.