Clary and Jace snuck out of the bathroom, after they both finished fucking and mopping the floor. They placed the body in a toilet stall, propped up so it looked like he was actually using the bathroom. Jace's arm wrapped around her middle as they walked from the scene laughing. His lips were rough against the shell of her ear as he whispered to her, "he was a pice of shit anyways, the place suited him." She nodded in agreement and turned so her nose bumped against his. There was this feeling of acceptation when she looked at him, an openness to their relationship. With only the Voice in her head she could be with him without the secrecy, the self-conscious insecurities.

What the fuck was this feeling thumping in her stomach, crawling up her throat and attachking her tongue, twisting it into knots? Why the fuck did it scare her so much?

She kissed him and they walked into the ballroom, grabbing Isabelle and signalling Alec to get the fuck out of there. They were going home, dropping the Lightwoods off when it hit her...there were only a couple more men left to kill. With Arny and Luke gone that left the Gosser twins, Archer Polluks, and the man who'd came too close. Who'd tried to make her a whore by slipping into her room. It'd be more likely that the Virgin Mary would become a prostitute, than her remember his name. Fuck.

Jace pulled her into his apartment and out of her thoughts. She swung her hands around his neck and pulled his lips close to hers..."I'm sorry he wouldn't talk..." she whispered to Jace, in regards to Arny and the lack of information on Carlin that Jace received.

"It's alright babe-" he smashed his lips against hers in between sentences, "-we have other-" oh god...his tongue "leads to follow." Clary pulled him back and he went to work on the zipper of his jeans.

"Jace..." she just murmered in reply, to engrossed in helping him step out of the confines of denim he wore. Jeans fell to the floor and his shirt came off before his almost bare body encompassed her space once again. The zipper of her dress was pulled down as Jace kissed at her face, lips, nose, cheeks bumping against one another in the flurry. She stepped out of her dress as she backed away from him and placed a dainty pale hand on his chest. "Jace." she emphasized the word and his hands fell to his sides.

"Yeah baby...""

"I need to ask you a favor," she whispered and Jace's hands returned to her shoulders, his head bending down to look in her eyes.

"What do you need? Anything baby, you can have anything..." this strange gut wrenching twist curled her stomach, widened her eyes. Her heart clenched at the thought of that. Him doing anything for her. Surely he was just I'm a state of lust right now and he didn't mean it...but still...?

"I need to go back to my old house..." his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she stated it firmly.

"Why the fuck would you need to do that?!" he exclaimed, retracting his hands from her like she had some sort of contagious disease.

It was her time to narrow her eyes, "Because if I need to find my mother's murderers then I need some clues...some-some leads to follow!" she swung her hands about, her almost naked chest following the movement in her bra cups and attracting his gaze. He shook his head and looked away, a hand shielding his eyes.

"Just...no. Babe I am not taking you back there." his eyes were like amber lazers, burning holes in her skin.

Stay confident...

This is about you.

She nodded. Her. This is her story. She was sticking to her plan. "Why?" she questioned. "why not? I need to kill these people, Jace, and I need something to go off of."

He shook his head again and turned his back towards her "I can't bring you back to the place you ran away from. God, Red, the memories that are going to be triggered..." his voice faltered. She walked up to him and placed a palm on his back, between his shoulder blades like she always did to calm him. When he turned to her fresh tears made his eyes look like the caramel colour of brandy. "When the Lightwoods first took me in, they trained me. Cared for me. But they...they told me part of healing was to get over my past. I was so young, Red, too young. And when I went back into that house, all I saw were the pools of blood and the bodies of my dead parents. It opened something inside me that I haven't been able to close...I don't want you to have to go through that too."

She felt her pity shine in her eyes, tried to tamp it down because she knew he hated sympathy. Except it showed in her emerald depths. Glittered in her welling tears. He just pushed his face into the nook of her shoulder and neck, hot tears leaking onto her skin.

She took a deep breath and stroked his hair back. "But I'm not you..." her hoarse voice whispered. "I won't be hurt. I'll be liberated..." God why wouldn't he understand?!

Jace sniffed and looked at her through watery eyes. "You have police crawling all over the city looking for you, and you want to head back to the crime scene?! It's. not. Safe." he stood straight again, forcing Clary to look up at him.

"I need to, Jace." she tried to stroke his cheek but his face flinched away from her hand. She didn't like the way it made her feel. Monsterish and mean. Like her father.

Disgusting.

"I'm warning you not to...Clary. "Her head shot up at the sound of her name on his lips. "Please. For me..."

Her parted lips shut and her answer lay on the parting line between them. It was a no. His face held the look of betrayal, twisting the planes of his beautiful features.

"You can sleep in the bed then...I'll be on the couch tonight." Her heart ached as he turned away. Why was he being like this? Why wasn't he supporting her? When did that change?

You can do this without him.

She could.

But she didn't want to.

Sleep didn't come easily that night as a claustrophobic feeling flooded her lungs and silenced her cries.

It terrified him to think about how betrayed her felt when she didn't agree not to stay with him. Cause fuck, it wasn't safe and they'd be much happier at home fucking and sleeping all day.

A strange feeling held his heart in a fist when she gave him that look. Shut her lips and stood with defiance in her eyes.

Jace couldn't let her go.

He couldn't let her leave his sight.

Jonathon was looking for her, Carlin probably put together the fact that she wasn't dead by now and fuck what would he do if Carlin had her. Plus...he knew the emotional trauma it puts you through, going back to the places that made them the way they were. That made them these bloodthirsty monsters.

No. She wouldn't be going.

And she wouldn't leave the house without him, that he knew almost certainly.

Safest thing to do is let her alone and leave her to think about what he'd said...right. Like the woman would ever be anything but stubborn.

The heartache swelling in his chest made it feel like it was about to burst, and something was crawling up his throat, tickling his tongue, a feeling close to fondness, appreciation, respect. Cause god, he did respect her! The way she's survived all of the things she's been through. The way she's been able to cope. The determination that's pushing her to take her life back. Shit, he wanted to be her.

And fuck her.

And protect her.

And hold her tight while they slept.

He didn't know why he was sleeping on the couch, he just needed to get away from the feeling that made his heart skip a beat, made his breath stutter from his lips in the shaky exhales that accompanied her presence.

He needed to get away from her because god fuck him if he was in love with her, which he wasn't, couldn't be.

At least not yet.

Hey guys sorry this is short but hopefully it's sustaining. Some emotional development. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed and followed and favourited, keep on doing what you're doing!

Btw sorry this took so long, I got a concussion and the computer wasn't a good idea...anyways keep reading, I love you all!