My Solace
Intro: This is an alternate ending to Season 3 Episode 20 (Lo-Fi) and Season 4 Episode 1 (Mayhem), in which a terrorist cell (previously acting like the Son of Sam and killing random victims in high-traffic New York areas) tries to blow up a hospital and Derek has to drive the bomb-laiden ambulance out of danger. SMUT!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything remotely related to Criminal Minds or its amazing cast of characters. I wish I did because I need Morcia to be a thing irl so bad!
Realizing the bomb was in the ambulance, Morgan sprinted off ahead of the team. He needed to make sure to clear the bomb of the building before it could detonate. Garcia spoke to him over the radio.
Keep it professional, she thought before speaking. "Morgan?"
Gun drawn, he approached the parked ambulance. "Yeah, baby."
She observed, "You sound stressed."
"Do I?" He asked, checking all sides from the back of the ambulance.
"Where are you?" she asked. Please don't let him have done something stupid and heroic.
He answered, "Not where I want to be right now." Jumping down into the parking bay, he drew closer to the ambulance. "Garcia, take this down. FDNY 108."
Garcia quickly realized what information he had given her. "That's an ambulance. Are you ok?" Panic rose in her chest, like a demon trying to claw its way out of her body.
Morgan approached the glass window in the rear of the vehicle. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just track it for me."
Garcia pulled up the necessary screens to follow his request. Also, per Hotch's orders, she was blocking all cell-phone signals to the hospital, so the bomb she knew was somewhere in the building with her work family would not be able to detonate.
Looking inside the ambulance, Morgan saw the bomb and sighed. Taking a moment, he slowly opened the rear doors of the ambulance and climbed in beside the bomb. "Oh, my God. Garcia, how long can you keep jamming the cell phone lines?"
She didn't like where this was going, but answered. "Uh, a few minutes max. Why?"
Morgan explained, voice heavy with emotion, "Cause I'm gonna have to get this ambulance out of here." He had to save everyone if her could.
Finally piecing it together, Garcia couldn't help but worry for her man - her chivalrous, knight-in-shining-armor, stubbornly hard-headed man. "Or you could just evacuate the building like everybody else," she observed harshly. She needed him to be ok and to not risk his life like this.
Morgan answered, "No. As soon as the airways are clear, this thing's going up."
Garcia panicked more. "Going up? Oh my God! That's in like 3 minutes, cause that's when the satellites move position."
Morgan climbed out the back of the ambulance and into the driver's seat. Hot-wiring the car, he pleads with the engine. "Come on." Planning as he worked, he asked, "Garcia, listen to me. I need you to find an area of town I can drive this thing, and you tell everybody - you hear me, everybody - that I'm coming."
Garcia began typing furiously. Morgan continued to attempt to get the engine to start. "Come on, baby. Do it. Go!" The engine started, and the ambulance came roaring to life. "Alright, talk to me, Garcia." He put the ambulance in drive, heading out of the emergency parking bay.
Looking at her monitors, Garcia directed him. "Ok, head north… And floor it. I'll tell you when to turn."
Morgan drove off, but the unsub saw him leaving. He started shooting at the back of the ambulance, the bullets ricocheting off the vehicle. "What's that?" Garcia asked, panicking again. Her heart wasn't going to survive this if something happened to Morgan.
He tried to stay calm for her. "It was nothing. It's nothing. Just talk to me." He raced down the highway, sirens blaring, lights flashing, and weaving around the slower traffic. How am I doing?"
Garcia asked the lady officer in the tech room with her, "How's he doing?" She answered, "1 minute 50 seconds."
Tears welled up in Garcia's eyes. "Why does it always have to be you? Why do you always have to do this?" She tried to take deep breaths, tried to calm down. He was an agent, he was smart, and he cared about her. He would do the right thing here. "Derek," she used his first name to make it clear to him that she was being dead serious. "You don'y have much time. Please be smart about this." A window popped up on her screen. "The signal's back online."
The officer lady added, "30 seconds to full coverage."
Garcia pleaded, "Derek, drive to the opening, and then get the hell out."
Morgan's voice got creepily calm. "There's something I really want you to know, Garcia."
The officer lady added, "20 seconds."
Garcia's voice broke. She knew that him trying to give her a goodbye speech meant he didn't think he would make it. "Save it!" she ordered. "Just get out."
Morgan replied as he turned into a large open field. "No, no, no. I'm not quite there yet."
The officer lady added, "10…"
Garcia cautioned him, "Morgan…"
He said calmly, "Just listen to me."
The officer lady continued her countdown. "9…8…"
Garcia begged, "Morgan, please."
He asked, "You know what you are, Garcia?"
The officer lady announced. "We just lost tracking."
Garcia yelled, "Morgan!" In her headset, she heard a terribly loud explosion. Her heart skipped a few beats, but it felt like it stopped. Her breathing grew to short gasps. Tears escaped down her cheeks, as she prayed that he was ok. "Derek?" she asked, voice cracking as she began to cry.
After just a moment, a rich, gravelly voice answered, "Garcia, I'll tell you what you are to me. You're my God-given solace. Woman, you promise me one thing - whatever happens - don't you ever stop talkin' to me."
Garcia smiled despite the tears still falling. She was relieved beyond words, but equally upset with him for putting her in that God-awful situation. She pouted as she answered. "I can't right now 'cause I'm mad at you."
Morgan smiled. "That's ok. I can wait."
Garcia took off her headset. She wiped her eyes, laughed nearly hysterically at the whole course of events over the last few days, and hung her head at her desk. "This was…" She couldn't even find a good word for it.
The lady officer nodded. "Yeah." Then she stood up. "I'm gonna grab a drink. You want something? Coffee? Tea?"
Garcia laughed. "Tea would be great. Green if you have it." The lady officer smiled and gave Garcia a thumbs up before leaving the room. Dawning her headset again, Garcia reached out to the rest of the team and caught everyone up on everything that had happened.
The team debriefed before heading home. On the jet, Morgan put on his headphones to decompress like always and was soon fast asleep. Garcia sat on his left in the window seat. As he slept, he slumped further and further in her direction. She was too strung out with nerves from the case to even think about sleep, so she smiled at him, wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and pulled him to rest on her shoulder. No one said anything about the inappropriate behavior, but she did catch a grin from most everyone that made eye contact with her. Plus, Hotch was riding back in an SUV with Prentiss due to his ruptured eardrums, so the big boss wasn't there to scold them.
All too soon, they were back at the BAU. Derek argued at first, but Garcia eventually won. She wanted to drive him back to her place. She didn't want to be alone tonight, and she didn't want him driving as tired as he was. As they drove to her home, Garcia seemed distant, so Derek asked, "Are you ok, Baby Girl?"
She quickly cast him a fierce glare before returning her eyes to the road. "I am most certainly not ok!" How could he ask her that? "You could've died today, Derek! Do you get that? You could have been in that ambulance when it went up, and then I wouldn't be here right now. I'd probably be inconsolable in my office, yelling at everyone to leave me alone. You almost left me here all alone!" That familiar panic from earlier flooded up her throat like acid reflux. She took a few deep breaths.
Derek slowly placed a hand on her knee closest to him. The warmth spread through her, reassuring her that he was in fact here with her and not dead, like her parents. "I am so sorry, Penelope."
When she stole a glance in his direction before turning into the parking lot of her apartment, his eyes were focused on her, and his mouth was tightly serious. She read sincerity there, but she was still hurt. Parking, she quickly got out of the car and grabbed her bags.
Derek followed behind her. He caught her elbow as she attempted to walk towards the building without acknowledging what he'd said. "Hey, Baby Girl." He pulled her close with his free hand. "I mean it. I'm sorry. I never meant to upset you, and I promise I had no plans of dying today. I plan to spend as much of my life with you as you'll let me. I kinda have to be alive to do that."
She dropped her bags and wrapped her arms around Derek's torso. Sobs escaped her before she could stop them as she rested her head against his firm chest. "I'm sorry. I was just so worried, and then I thought you were dead. I couldn't breathe, and it felt like someone just punched a hole in my chest and ripped my heart out. I'd already started to cry when you finally answered me. I was so relieved that I was hysterical, but then I was so mad at you for putting me through all of that." As her tears stopped, she pulled back enough to look up at Derek.
He was lovingly rubbing her back, trying to sooth away her pain. "Baby Girl, I never meant to hurt you, and I am so sorry that I put you through all of that. Can you ever forgive me?" He pleaded with big, sad puppy eyes, making Garcia roll her eyes at him.
"You're lucky you're so damn good-looking," she smiled at him, unable to stay mad at her sweet man. She would take a while to fully get over the case and everything that happened, but she wouldn't stay mad at Derek. He leaned down to grab her bags too, and she shook her head at him. "Tryin' to score extra brownie points, huh?" she asked. Still smiling, she started to walk away. "Come on, Angelfish. Let's take this conversation upstairs."
On the way up, they made small talk about ordering dinner. They agreed on a pizza, half pineapple and bacon, half pineapple and olives for the vegetarian. Once inside the safety and familiarity of her apartment, Garcia plopped down on her couch with a dramatic sigh. She not-so-lady-like kicked off her heels and pulled her legs up under her on the couch. Derek smiled at her antics as he pulled out his cell and ordered dinner. He sat down their bags and locked up behind them as he placed the order.
When he hung up, he met her gaze. Getting back to their earlier conversation, Garcia declared, "This was the worst case ever."
Derek joined Penelope on the couch. "It was definitely a bad one, but we've made it through worse."
Penelope crooked an eyebrow at him. "Worse? Worse that our boss getting blown up and a fellow agent dying? Worse than having to watch as someone got shot in the head and having no one around to help? Worse than listening to the love of my life get shot at while driving a bomb? Worse than thinking you were dead? And not just when the ambulance blew up, but also when we heard about the SUV explosion, before we knew it was Hotch and Joyner. From all that happened at the end of the case, I'd almost forgotten that episode of panic and worry and dread." She took his hand in hers, facing him as she sat sideways. "Angelfish, this is the worst one yet for me. And I just need to sort this out, make it make sense to me, ya know?"
He nodded. True, he had seen worse crime scenes than anything they had faced on this case, but this one was personal. Their family was attacked, and he had recklessly put himself in more danger than he probably should have. "That makes sense to me. You are gonna have to figure out where all the pieces fit for you. If it helps, I want to apologize."
She scrunched her nose and eyebrows in question, so he continued. "I acted fairly recklessly. To be fair, I didn't see another option in the heat of the moment, but looking back, I should not have gone down to the ambulance alone. We should have discussed it as a team and decided the best option. I'm glad that everything worked out alright this time, but I want to apologize for not thinking of you in that moment, for still thinking like a bachelor, willing to jeopardize his life to save others."
He placed his free hand against her face, rubbing his thumb across her cheek. "Baby Girl, until you came into my life, I never had to think twice about acting on instinct, about doing what needed to be done, consequences be damned. You have given me a new life, one full of love and hope and acceptance, and I want you to know that I value that. I promise to think before acting in the future. I do not want to leave you the way my dad left my mom. I promise I will always do my best to come home to you."
Tears threatened to interrupt his speech, the weight of the day's events hitting him hard. Garcia cried quietly, silent tears running down her face. He brushed them away for her with his thumb as he continued. "But Baby Girl, I do have a dangerous job, and there will be more danger in the future, even if it's not a huge bomb in the middle of a busy city. I need to know that you have faith in me, in my ability to do my job well and to take precautions, and in my will to stay alive for us. I will do whatever I can to ease that burden for you, but I need to know that you can handle it. I don't want to hurt you if I can help it, but some things can't be helped." He knew he sounded repetitive, but he hoped she understood what he was trying to say. He was willing to basically carve out his heart and leave it here with her if she couldn't handle the reality of his job. He would rather end this beautiful opportunity here and prevent hurting her if she couldn't handle it, than get hurt on the job in the future and hurt her later on down the line.
Garcia scooted closer to Morgan, knees pressing against each other as they sat sideways on the couch facing each other. She'd stopped crying, processed what he'd said, and made her decision. She took both his hands in hers and looked him directly in the eye. "I know that I am the weakest one on the team."
Morgan tried to cut her off and defend her, but she shook her head and kept going. "It's true. You all have poker faces and can compartmentalize the awful stuff that happens out there in the real world so you can keep working. I have some of that, like when one of you is hurt, but I keep working because I know it will help. But once the work is done, I show the most emotion, I feel things in a big way, and I don't think I can be different in that regard."
She smiled confidently. "And I know I don't want to change that. It's part of me, but I am also realistic. I know that every time my family leaves to go be superheroes that you might not all come back. I know you are all super-well trained, and fit, and prepared for what's out there, but like you said, some things just can't be helped. I know the world is icky and scary and full of bad guys who do bad things. I know that our work family is there to stop as much of it as they can. You're a part of that team. I am too, to a much lesser extent physically. But the point is that you are in the danger, and I am okay with that."
She smiled at him, a little bashfully now. "You are a superhero. You are a knight-in-shining-armor. You are the good guy, and the world needs more super-awesome men like you. I want to be your rock, the one helping from the sidelines at work, but who is also here and waiting for you when you get home. I know that means I'm going to have to get a little tougher, and that my world could collapse if anything ever happened to you, but I also know that you're worth that risk. Yes, today and the last few days scared the hell out of me, but I don't love you any less or regret our relationship. If anything, it just reaffirms everything I love about you - your heart and your passion, your drive and your strength, your desire to fix the world and save it. I'm not going anywhere, handsome. Don't think you can get rid of me that easily." She swatted his shoulder playfully at that.
Derek sat still for a few seconds and blinked. He stared at her in awe, mouth slightly agape. "Woman, you never cease to amaze me." He moved his leg around hers, leaned forward, wrapped his arms around her back, and pulled her closer between his legs. "And I would never, ever try to get rid of you, Baby Girl. I was just trying to protect you."
She kissed his cheek, pulled back to look at him, and answered, "I know, sweetness. You think of everyone but yourself, but that's what I'm here for now." She snuggled into the crook of his neck, planting soft sweet kisses there.
Derek let out a quiet groan at the intimate contact. "Penelope…" It sounded like a warning. "I may be strong, but I'm not that strong. Please don't tempt me tonight." She could hear the inner anguish in his voice.
Just then the doorbell rang. Derek winced, but he got up off the couch and handled paying for the pizza. When he shut and relocked the door, he turned back towards Penelope. She was standing a few feet away, heels back on as if she needed them to walk correctly. He smiled at her. Taking the pizza from him, she set it down on the kitchen counter and turned back to face him.
She wore her serious face. "Derek, before we left for this case, the doctor gave me a clean bill of health. I'm all healed. I know I told you already, but I'm just reminding you because of what I'm about to tell you. I appreciate the chivalry, and the tender treatment while I was healing, and the sweet gestures, but we have been dating for about two months now. We are finally home, alone, and with a few days off. I'm healed, I thought you were dead twice within the last few days, and I want nothing more than to feel close to you. I want you, Derek."
He looked at her, forehead creased and eyes squinted in question. His body tensed at her declaration. He needed her too, but physically, and he wasn't sure that's what she meant. He hoped it was, but he didn't want to rush her and push her away, not after all they've been through.
"I want to make love to you, Derek," she clarified. "I want to be with you in that way and to just forget about the rest of the world and…"
Derek couldn't resist any longer. She wanted him too, and that was all of the permission he needed. He wrapped his hands behind her neck, pulling her in to kiss him. He wanted to be gentle, to take things slow, but he was as anxious as a virgin. His mouth devoured hers. She moaned against his mouth, and he nearly came unglued at the sound. This woman had some ridiculously strong power over him.
Garcia couldn't get enough of him. His kisses made her feel warm and melty and mushy inside, but it also made her want him even more. She pulled him close, wrapping her arms around his torso. The pressure between their bodies grew, as did the heat and need in her belly.
Morgan entwined one hand in her hair, keeping her still enough to kiss thoroughly. His other hand rubbed against her back, exploring her for the first time. He planned to spend the rest of his life memorizing every inch of her. He needed to be closer though.
Apparently Garcia felt the same way. He felt her tugging his long-sleeved t-shirt out of his tactical pants. He smiled. She wanted him naked, and he was happy to oblige. He pulled back long enough to lift the garment up and over his head. He planned to go right back to kissing his woman, but the look of awe on her face made him pause. She ran her hands from his shoulders down his chest to his abs. "How can you be this perfect?" she asked, kissing his shoulder and up his neck, back to his mouth.
He didn't answer. He just growled low in his throat as her hands continued to roam across his topless body. His breathing hitched when she began to fiddle with his belt buckle. To his surprise, she quickly had his belt and pants undone and pooled around his feet. He stood before her in just his boxers and socks. He kicked the articles of clothing out of the way, still kissing her. He broke the kiss to travel down her neck. "Baby Girl?"
"Yeah, Hotstuff?" she answered, breathlessly. He enjoyed the effect he had on her.
"Why am I nearly naked, and you're still fully dressed?" He nipped at her collarbone, causing her to groan.
"Maybe I'm just less patient than you are?" she guessed.
He planted one more kiss on her full, red lips. "Let's fix that, shall we?" He turned her around to face the counters, on which she leaned to keep steady. She swept her hair to the side, keeping it out of the way. Derek slowly unzipped her dress, planting kisses down her spine as he went. When it stopped just above her waist, he straightened and pushed the article down her arms, kissing on her shoulders. She stepped out of the dress, and Derek tossed it aside.
Still standing behind her, he unsnapped her bra. It was her turn for her breath to hitch at the act. As the garment fell onto the counter in front of her, Penelope tossed it aside. Derek pressed his front against her back, planted kisses on her neck, and reached around her sides and arms to massage a breast with each hand.
"Derek," she moaned at the multiple sensations. This was really finally happening, and it was so much more intense than she imagined. He was aggressive but not demanding, sweet but still mischievous. His right hand traveled down from her large white orbs across her beautiful pale stomach to her silky black panties. His fingers toyed with the edge of the garment, teasing her at first. "Derek, please," she begged. She wasn't a patient person. This little bit of foreplay was killing her.
His hand dipped into her panties and cupped her core. He ran a finger along her lips, relishing in the dampness there. She wanted him just as badly as he wanted her. That thought pushed him over the edge, and he couldn't wait any more. Pushing the garment off of her hips, it fell to the floor. He turned her around to face him once more, kissed her deeply, and hoisted her up to sit on the edge of the counter.
When he pulled back, she looked stunned as if she hadn't expected him to be able to do that. He slowly pulled each erect nipple into his mouth, one after the other, but he did not linger there. He continued to squat before her until his face was level with the counter. Penelope blushed as she realized what he was planning to do. He gave her a raised eyebrow of a look, as if asking if this was ok. She nodded, then whispered, "Please." With that, his mouth covered her folds, and Penelope cried out in overwhelming bliss. A string of expletives followed the cry, as Derek lapped at her folds, sucked on her lips, circled her clit with his tongue, and suckled on her clit. He kept up this pattern of torture until her expletives became moans and gasps, and she found her first orgasm.
"Fuck," she breathed, as her breathing became normal again. "That was… You are… wonderful." That was the word she settled on as she slid down from the counter to stand in front of Derek again.
Morgan chuckled at her comment, hugging her close. "I've only just begun to make you feel wonderful, Baby Girl. I still have plans for you tonight." He pressed the proof of his desire against her core.
She moaned at the contact, instant feeling the need to connect with him again. "What's the next plan?" she asked a bit breathless already. He just had a way about him that made her anxiously excited, but completely at ease.
He whispered huskily in her ear. "I need you, Baby Girl. I need to be inside of you."
She nuzzled into his neck. "I'm all yours, baby." Then she ground her hips against his.
He groaned. "You have two options. I really want to take you to your bed and do this slowly and with a lot of love and tenderness." He sucked in a breath through his teeth as she nibbled on his collar bone. "But you are literally killing me, and I'm tempted to take you right here in this kitchen, and save the bedroom for later."
She planted a peck of a kiss on his lips. "Derek, if you are not inside of me in the next minute…" she let the threat trail off as Derek interrupted.
"As you wish." Jesus, this woman was perfect. He planned to tell her so later. Derek turned her around, quickly got rid of his boxers, and stood behind her. She leaned forward on the counter, bending over. He pressed himself against her core and slowly filled her, trying to be gentle. When fully inside of her, he paused for just a moment. She was a perfect fit.
He felt exactly right inside of her, filling her completely without hurting her. But he was still being too sweet and too slow. She needed him now. "Derek, please!" she pled.
Something took over him then. Derek let his desires for Penelope take control of his body. He pulled out of her almost completely and then pushed right back in. She moaned at the friction. He quickly picked up the pace, the sound of skin smacking against skin echoing in the small space. After a short while, they were both panting and groaning. "Baby Girl, I'm close."
She panted. "Good. Me too. Come with me, Hotstuff." A few more thrusts, and both Derek and Penelope were vocalizing their release. Penelope was pretty sure she screamed Derek's name. He made more of an animalistic growl/groan.
It had finally happened. She had sex with her best friend/boyfriend, and damn if he wasn't better than anything she'd daydreamed about in the last few years. As both returned to normal patterns of breathing, Garcia tiredly looked over her shoulder at Derek.
He was smiling down at her with a smile somewhere pleasantly between silly sweet and hell yes. "Are you alright, Baby Girl?" he asked as he took a step back and leaned against the opposite counter for a moment.
Turning around to face him, she leaned her butt against the counter. At first, she was overwhelmed with the impulse to cover her important bits, but she chided herself. They'd just been conjoined in the most intimate way possible. Why in the hell should she feel self-conscious in front of him now? She ended up letting her arms hang down in front of her, and held one wrist with the opposite hand. "So much better than alright," she admitted happily. "Derek, you make me so happy."
Derek stepped close again, holding the back of her neck and sides of her face in his hands. "You make me deliriously happy too, Penelope." He places a tenderly sweet kiss to her swollen lips. Then his stomach growled.
Garcia snickered. "Why don't we clean up, get in pajamas, and eat this pizza? Sounds like you need it." Her hand absent-mindedly ran along his stomach as she spoke about eating.
Derek answered deeply, fighting the urge to run his hands over her in a similar manner and knowing that would end with more sexual intimacy. "Sounds like a plan to me," he answered. As he knelt by his go bag to dig out his pajama pants, he added, "But I plan to worship my goddess several more times before bed and when we wake up tomorrow."
Penelope blushed and beamed at him. "That sounds like the better plan."
They set about cleaning up and changing. Penelope dressed in a silky gown to tease him further. Derek remained shirtless for the same reason. As they ate their late dinner and chatted about other topics than work, Derek felt the stress of the last few days evaporate. Just being around Penelope made his body destress. She really was his God-given solace, and he planned to keep her close always.