I'm so, so sorry for how long this update took! Thanks to those of you who are still reading.
She settles onto the hard wooden chair, crosses her legs, and waits for Clint to get his papers organized. Once he does, he clears his throat.
"Okay. Name, please," he says, clicking his pen out.
"Which one?" she responds. She's joking; she has so many aliases that he would be hard pressed to name her from them. She gives him a quick smile. "Put down… Natasha Romanov," she tells him.
He nods, scribbling out the name in unclean, childish script. She raises an eyebrow. No one in the Red Room would ever allow their agents to have such bad handwriting.
The next few questions fly by.
"Age?"
"64 years."
"Really?"
"Yes. Continue."
"Family?"
"Classified."
"Kill count?"
"You don't want to know."
"Abilities?"
"I was enhanced by a version of the Super Soldier Serum. Slow aging. Enhanced intelligence, memory, and physical capabilities. Enhanced reflexes."
"Okay. Birthplace?"
"Pushkin, Russia."
"Alias?"
"All of them?"
"Fine, just code name."
"Black Widow."
"Preferred weapons?"
"My gear."
"Blood type?"
"O- with serum. Not sure what that entails."
"Height?"
"5' 7"
"Weight?"
"131 lbs."
"Other things SHIELD should know?"
"No."
"That was abrupt. And I only have about half the form filled out."
"Not my problem, Barton. That's all you're getting out of me."
He sighs dramatically. "Fine," he says, clicking his pen shut. He leans a bit closer to her. She expects some sort of question, but he says nothing. He just looks deeply into her eyes. Stares at her.
She stands, abruptly, and plants her foot on the table directly in front of his face, flipping over his head. "I don't like staring contests," she tells him. "So will you take me to Fury to finish up?"
He pouts at her, but gets up and leads the way, leaving her once she's gotten to the office. "Have fun," he says.
"Will do," she replies.
She enters silently, hardly even a scrape of the door. Fury sits in his desk, not even noticing, until she clears her throat and he jumps, surprise evident on his face. "Widow," he says, trying to regain his composure. She slaps the folder of the papers Clint filled out onto Fury's desk and stands, waiting for him to say something.
He looks through the folder, and she feels like he's stalling. Finally, he clears his throat and looks up at her one more time. "S.H.I.E.L.D. feels comfortable taking you on as an agent, given the reliable information you've provided us, Ms. Romanov. However, we need you on a lie detector for some final questions, just for sure."
She nods, and he stands. It feels serious. She follows him out of his door and down a few hallways until they reach a simple, unmarked door. They enter.
Sitting in the middle of the room is a chair. She sits down in it, allowing him to attach multiple electrodes in various places. Then he nods and walks backwards, flipping a switch to turn the machine on. He smiles, and she can tell he thinks he finally has the upper ground. She knows he's wrong.
"This lie detector senses 52 different variables, Ms. Romanov. Not even Barton has beaten it. So even if you give it your best shot, I seriously doubt you will."
She almost smirks. Almost. But instead of smirking, she answers his questions as he checks with Barton's file. He asks a few questions for the machine to calibrate to her truths and lies, then gets into the good stuff.
"Are you here on a mission for the Red Room, KGB, or anything affliated with either?"
"No."
Even after the first serious question, she can't hold back a smirk. He sees it. He groans.
"You're beating my lie detector, aren't you?"
"Not yet. But I'll do it, if you want."
"Please try."
She smiles. This will be fun.
"Agent Barton's real name is not Clinton, it's Rosemary. You are a robot. The headquarters of the United Nations is bright pink. President Ellis was assassinated two years ago and a lookalike has taken his place ever since. The world will end tomorrow."
Fury looks at the ratings of the lie detector. Apparently, the world is going to end tomorrow.
"Well, this is useless," he says, wrinkling his nose. "I'll need to make some improvements. Meanwhile, however, I have a final test for you before you join S.H.I.E.L.D."
She nods in consent to whatever he has planned.
"The only reasons we're trusting you enough to allow you to join are these; one, your intel has been solid and has saved lives. Two, Barton trusts you. And whatever else I may say about him, he's a good judge of character."
"He's listening through the vent above your head."
Fury curses for a few seconds, glaring up at the vents, before he looks back at her. "Another lie?" he asks. She nods, and Fury sighs. "Your final test is to evade every S.H.I.E.L.D. agent in this compound for 24 hours. They will be told that you have betrayed us, but are still in the vicinity, and the compound is on lockdown so you can't escape. You're not allowed to leave the compound, even if you can. You do this, you're in. Oh, and no killing."
"Deal," she says, pulling the electrodes off of herself. "How much of a headstart do I get?"
He shrugs. "Two minutes, starting now."
She's gone before he registers the door opening.
She collects her tactical gear first. It takes her longer than she would have hoped, a minute forty seconds. Twenty more. Without a second thought, she pulls herself silently into the vent over her head, pulling the cover back over just as alarms start to blare and lights start flashing. An announcement sounds, Fury's voice.
Attention, all SHIELD personnel. The Black Widow has escaped custody. Base is on lockdown. Locate the Widow and exterminate with extreme prejudice. I repeat, take out the Black Widow through any means necessary.
The announcement goes off, as do the alarms and lights. She settles back to listen.
She hears scuffling of agents through the hallways. She's not worried. The only agent she's even slightly worried about is Barton.
That's when she hears someone in the vents behind her.
Whirling quickly and silently, she smiles. They haven't come around the corner yet. She scurries through the seemingly neverending passageways of the vents as quietly as a spider. This will be easy.
Oh my gosh, I am so sorry it took so long!