I still don't own Megamind, as evidenced by the fact that I am not way more famous. No money is being made either, more's the pity.
A/N - I am so excited about how well received this story has been... I kept popping up at random moments to squeal at my husband every time I got a review or favorite notification. Everyone who read this and especially my reviewers made this chapter happen much faster than it otherwise would have and so here are my shout outs to those wonderful people.
Ardina Falconhurst - Thanks so much for believing in me and my ability to actually finish something, now I am determined to prove you right!
Elf Kid2.0 - Minion lovers unite! I love your story Henchman. :-)
Oliver2016 - I am so glad you liked the thing with Carlos, I was afraid about how it would be received. I only made an account yesterday but I have had a link on my phone to your story The New Thing for quite a while and I check it for updates regularly because I desperately want to know where it is going. No pressure, just saying.
OceansGratitude - I hereby dedicate the evil plan in this chapter to you and your body of writing work. I hope that the reason for that isn't too vague and you can see why.
StarPaw007 - 007 huh? Little known (or probably cared about) fact, the B in MarsyB is for my awesome married last name... take a guess. Thanks so much for brightening up my night. :-)
Psychochiquita - Just for Roxanne is exactly what I want to read about myself so I will probably stay there for a while but eventually, Megamind's genius should be shared with the whole world.
Ok, gushing done, on to the story.
The second time it was a little more complicated.
Roxanne couldn't decide if it was her fault for wearing the dress or Megamind's fault for nearly broadcasting her to the entire city in her underwear.
When she slipped her phone into the handy little pocket of her new clearance rack find (because honestly... the slouchy green dress hardly contained enough fabric to be worth the $10 she paid for it, much less the $60 listed as the original price), she had a second thought that perhaps she ought to just bring her purse instead. The bright red clutch she had been using lately, however, would clash horribly with her current outfit and she just didn't think it worth her time to switch for one day.
Her debit card and ID fit snugly into the left pocket. Her phone was huge, obnoxious really, and entirely impractical for someone with hands as small as hers but she didn't have much of a choice if she wanted the newest model. It barely fit and caused the fabric to droop but in her opinion that was a small price to pay to avoid looking like Sleazy, the newest addition to Santa's workforce.
As soon as she wrapped up her on-air report she heard the familiar hiss of knockout spray and glanced up at the reassuring smile of her favorite henchman as she let the darkness take her.
She woke up before they had the ropes tied. She was slouching slightly on her chair and Megamind was chatting quietly with Minion as they studied one of the many computer monitors. Minion said something Roxanne didn't catch and Megamind chuckled softly. They had their backs to her and didn't seem to know she was conscious yet, so she took the opportunity to look around. It was a game she played sometimes, figuring out what today's Evil plan was before the blue villain began his monologue.
The laser pointed at her head was an old staple as far as death traps went and she knew that, while it might be the motivation to get Metro Man to show, it was certainly not meant to be used. The little red indicator light was distinctly not flashing and she had the suspicion that it wasn't even turned on.
The gigantic apparatus above her seemed to be the main event today. It was a huge magnet, horseshoe shaped and painted a cartoonish red.
"Did you finally qualify for the Wile E Coyote discount at ACME then?" She mused and her captors spun around to face her with comically wide eyes.
"Wha… Miss Ritchie!" Megamind sputtered, obviously unprepared for her to be awake so quickly but he recovered admirably, pulling his Evil persona around himself like the cape he wore. He nodded to Minion and caught and held Roxanne's gaze just long enough to be sure she was watching as he pressed the extremely conspicuous button on the display panel behind him bearing the word 'Broadcasting' in large red letters.
Roxanne immediately schooled her expression to one of neutrality with a slight edge of irritation and left her hands dangling at her sides to hide from the audience the fact that she still wasn't restrained.
"Well, well, well Miss Ritchie, we meet again." Megamind practically purred his standard greeting. "Couldn't resist the… pull... of Evil I see." In her peripheral, she watched Minion's mouth press into a tight line as though trying to hold back a laugh.
"It isn't as though I had much of a choice Megamind." She answered in a voice that artfully straddled the line between fashionable disinterest and outright hostility. She was very proud of that voice, and even more proud of the light it sparked in eyes of the posturing reprobate before her. Almost as though he knew how long it had taken for her to perfect it and was also proud of it, of her dedication to the part she had been given.
"No need to be so... negative... Miss Ritchie. All I ask is that the citizens of Metrocity declare me their uncontested ruler and you will be free to go." He arched an eyebrow at her enthusiastically bouncing slightly on his toes in his overeager fashion.
Yes Megamind, I get the joke, pull, negative… His need for approval was actually quite endearing.
"I am... positive... that I had better things to do today than sit here and watch while your latest plan fails spectacularly." She quipped as the smile on his face brightened to a whole new level. He could take the insults in stride as long as she was playing along with his terrible puns. Minion actually clapped his robotic hands together twice, in what looked like an involuntary articulation of glee, glancing at his boss to judge his reaction. Roxanne nearly lost her composure. He looks like his favorite show just came on.
"The only thing failing today will be Metro Man as I have finally found his weakness..." He strode a few feet to the left to stand before a large switch on the wall, pausing dramatically and smirking at her. She knew from experience that he would just keep standing there sending her not-so-subtle signals with his eyes if she didn't play her part.
"What weakness?" She asked, not bothering to sound invested, a fact which he ignored like the professional he was at this point.
"Why Miss Ritchie…" he flipped the switch and a low humming sound came from above her. "My incredible magnetism of course!"
His maniacal laugh was no less of a perfect specimen than it had been the first hundred times she heard it. He threw his arms wide and his head back in a triumphant pose that lasted all of 40 seconds before things began to go wrong.
The first problem was the fact that the chair that she was thankfully not tied to chose this moment to remind them all that it was, in fact, made of metal by rocketing toward the ceiling. She could make out Minion's distressed cry of "Sir!" and glanced down quickly to see that the fish was anchoring himself to a steel beam as Megamind attempted to claw his way toward the switch. The magnet fought to drag him toward it by way of the spikes sewn onto every conceivable surface of his costume.
Roxanne's glance cost her the balance she had been maintaining and she covered her face as she pitched forward toward the stone floor, but she needn't have bothered. She never reached the ground because her shoes (which were apparently of the high-quality variety where actual nails are used to connect heel to sole) flew toward the magnet as well, pulling her right along with them.
Her dress, also, was no match for the physics of the situation and decided that, given the choice between the two forces, it much preferred the law of gravity. Fortunately, Roxanne was able to thwart its intended downward trajectory and thereby narrowly avoid flashing all of Metro City her unmentionables. Unfortunately, her phone managed to free itself from its fabric prison in the process and assert its own preference for terra firma. It fell about 6 feet and shattered, quite impressively, into several pieces.
At that point, Metro Man burst through the roof, landed a crushing one-handed blow on the magnet that was evidently not his weakness after all, and caught her in mid air before gravity managed to stake its claim upon her person yet again.
As the Defender of Metro City lowered her safely to the ground, she kept her eyes firmly on her phone's remains and resolutely avoided glancing at Megamind and Minion; who were taking advantage of the confusion by sneaking off into the shadows of the warehouse they had been operating from today.
Those two just can't win… not that she would want them to, they were the bad guys after all, but that didn't mean she wanted them arrested and she would have been interested to see how many more magnet puns Megamind could have come up with. Besides, she chuckled inwardly, now he owes me a phone.
A/N - Reviews have been statistically proven to cause me to update faster, just saying.