Arthur's POV
I open my eyes; a circle of white light edged off by trees glares back at me. My thoughts float about until they reach one conclusion… death. Magic killed my Mother, Magic killed my father and now Magic has finally finished off the Pendragons… As I breathe in and out, it is in that moment in which I know. 'I am dead;' I think 'I am dead.' I breathe in again 'my father and my mother shall meet me soon and we will go to heaven and rule like a family.' inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, … something feels different, wrong. Then it occurs to me… Dead people don't breathe, do they? "Arthur?" I shake my head ignoring the voice and focus on another deep breath savouring the cold air in my lungs…. Inhale, exhale inhale, exhale "ARTHUR!" the voice is now shouting directly into my ear, I swat my hand- as if it is an annoying wasp- and make contact with skin. The thing reels back in surprise 'yes' I think 'I scared it away' but I haven't as the voice soon returns "Arthur? Can you hear me… if you can give me another sign!" The voice sounds happy and relieved, the voice sounds like it belongs to Merlin…
A whole series of images explode into my head taking the air out of my lungs, eventually they become less entwined and I can see each one clearly: Merlin, magic, dragon, fire, Gaius, riding, dragon, dead, alive, inhale, exhale. It happened, that all actually happened. Merlin has magic… and with a sickening lurch in my stomach I realise that those words should not exist and don't sit right with each other. Magic, Merlin? Merlin, Magic? It doesn't matter which way I say it, it doesn't make any sense and I hate him for making me feel like this. And I hate feeling like this; confused, upset, irritated. Suddenly I bolt up, well try to, however it is evident as soon as I try to sit up that something isn't right, and I'm still in pain and breathless from the motion of sitting up. I look around me, for the first time I properly see that I am in a forest with clouds high above me and the sun somewhere behind them. Merlin is crouched beside me, half looking like he wants to hug me and the other half looking… it is hard to tell what his expression is exactly however I can see guilt in his eyes "Merlin?" I croak, he looks up, 'yes' I think 'definitely guilt' "Just checking, am I dead?"
"No. You're not dead, I saved you."
"Why do you look so guilty then?"
"Because a great life was lost to save yours." he says simply, I don't know why I asked, I don't know why he replied. Something between us is missing, all the friendliness we'd built up over the years, seems to have disappeared, I decide that I don't like it.
Merlin's back is turned away from me as he tries to light the fire naturally, but he starts to sniff and puts the flints down to wipe his nose. He's crying. Wow, the person who died must have been really important to him. What if it's Gaius? No, Merlin wouldn't allow Gaius to be sacrificed, would he? I don't know, I really don't know if anything about the person who is in front of me is true anymore. I drag my eyes towards the logs and kindling that Merlin is desperately trying to light and for some reason this irks me, he has magic so why doesn't he just use it?
"Why don't you use magic?" I say expressing my annoyance.
Merlin shrugs "Habit I suppose" he looks at me in a 'can I use it?' way, I nod, glad that he still respects me enough to ask, and Merlin flicks his hand upwards, causing the wooden bundle to set alight. "Feels weird," Merlin shivers and glances back at me "Doing it front of you… I mean I've kept it a secret for all these years and now you know…" He doesn't know how to finish the sentence but neither do I.
So instead my reply is a grunt in agreement "I thought I knew you." I say pointing my finger towards him.
"I'm still the same person." Merlin replies, but is he?
"I trusted you."
"I'm sorry…" Merlin comes over to me and starts pulling off one of my boots,
"I'm sorry too… What are you doing?"
Merlin rolls his eyes "They need drying." he pulls off the other one and places them both by the fire "Are you warm enough?" he asks me I nod "Try and get some sleep, I'll wake you when the food is ready." I squirm at his demanding voice, but I'm too tired to argue with him. Trying to get comfortable, I look for something to say except no words escape from my lips. I close my eyes and sigh, I fall quickly into a light sleep, listening to the fire crackling and focusing on my breathing…
^.^
Merlin's POV
I stir the concoction in front of me again, wondering if there is any way I can make it look more appetising. The limited resources and the fact that Saxons are still running around this forest are all contributors in why this meal looks… like grey gruel. I serve it into a bowl, with as much care as I can, but instead of drizzling nicely in the bowl it plops into it and some splashes me in the face. At least I'm not hungry and Arthur is so out of it at the moment he won't know what he's eating. That's my general thinking. Arthur's slumped against the tree and still rhythmically breathing. He was snoring earlier, which I took to be a good sign as it meant that he was in a deep sleep and therefore healing. I don't want to wake him up even now, but we need to start moving, we won't be safe until we get back to Camelot.
I turn towards Arthur and gently shake him until he yawns and smacks his lips. I hold the bowl in one hand and the spoon in the other, he blinks at me whilst his eyes adjust to the dim lighting of the forest. I gently push the spoon towards his mouth but he notices and retracts his head
"Why are you doing this? Why are you still acting like a servant? I can feed myself you know." he asks me indignantly.
"Arthur please, you need to eat, get your strength back." I reply trying to reason with him, even though I know it's a fight I'll find hard to win.
"How many people know of your 'magical' talents Merlin?" He questions, I think I definitely prefer him when he's groggy and angry from waking up, it feels strange to me that he's full of questions. I give up with trying to prod the spoon into his mouth, he clearly won't eat until I answer at least some of his questions.
"I use my magic for you only Arthur." But instead of nodding he snorts at my reply, like he doesn't believe me, I try another tactic "Remember when we first met, all those years ago."
"Yeah I almost took your head off with a mace," Arthur chuckles half heartily.
"And I stopped you using magic!" I reply, but by the looks of Arthur's expression, that wasn't what I was supposed to say.
"You cheated?! I would have killed you, in fact I should have killed you." he mutters, and I can't tell whether he's being serious or not.
"Well I'm glad you didn't." I retort and I dump the bowl angrily next to him. I turn away and start fiddling with a twig. I hate arguing with him, but this isn't how I pictured it, I really thought he was different from his father. But there is a bigger worry that now faces me. If Arthur thinks that he should have killed me, what is he thinking now, does he still want to kill me, and is there even any point in me returning to Camelot if my head may soon end up on the chopping block?
After a while Arthur speaks again, his voice softer than before, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Swivelling round I answer "I don't know… but the kingdom and magic aren't exactly simpatico, for all I know you may have killed me- you may still kill me- your father certainly would have… if he'd gotten the chance." I reply, I can't resist making the dig about his father, I know how much he hates to be compared to the late king and sure enough I get the reaction I want.
"I keep telling you and everyone else in this entire kingdom, I am not my father! … I'm not sure what I would have done…" Arthur trails off, his eyes flickering towards the ground.
"I didn't want to put you in that position… I never wanted magic to become a barrier between us, you're too much of a friend to me and I didn't want to burden you with my problems." I reply honestly, and it is in that moment that I look into Arthur's eyes and know that whilst he understands partly, me keeping my magic hidden from him did create a barrier I so desperately wanted to avoid.
I think Arthur is also hurt with my decision not to tell him, he trusted me with his life and although I trusted him, I couldn't ever bring myself to trust him with my one true secret. I'm thrown into a flashback for a second in which my friend Will is telling me to tell Arthur about my magic in order for Ealdor to be saved, he died and falsely admitted to being the sorcerer that I actually was, he was so much braver than me, always had been, always will be.
I remember that day like it was yesterday, how I so desperately wanted to tell Arthur who I was, but a brick wall slammed into me and I just… couldn't. I was trapped, isolated, caged. An infinite number of things to express how I was unable to tell anyone the truth. So now that I've finally told him, the weights have been lifted and I know it was the right thing to do, and I wish I had done it on the day Will died, so he could die an honest man and I could live an honest life.
"I understand-mostly- but there's still something that's bugging me, why remain as my servant? We both know that you could have had whatever you desired, ruled over any land, taken control, any other sorcerer that I can think of would have, so why didn't you?"
I think about it for a moment "Every man is born for doing different things," I begin, Arthur rolls his eyes at my cliché beginning but says nothing "Some are born to be farmers, to plough fields all day long. Others are born to be blacksmiths, physicians or knights. You, you were born to be King Arthur, and the greatest king who's ever lived, one who reunites Albion and rules with honour, just and loyalty- without you Camelot's nothing..." I pause "Me? Well I've finally figured that out. I was born to serve you, to protect you, to be your friend, there for you no matter how dark the day, and you know what? I wouldn't change a single moment." I properly smile, because it's true! There's no denying it. Even after all the battles, fights and wounds that I have ever witnessed, even after all the daily stress, torment and the hurtful words Arthur may have said to me, even after hiding for most of my life I wouldn't change a single little detail.
Arthur stares up at me, processing the information he's just received. Then he nods and smiles at me. Slowly, ever so slowly he gets up from his position, clearly in pain but manageable pain and for the first time, in I think perhaps, forever he embraces me and hugs me tight.
^.^
We pack up the camp and cover the fire to hide our presence, it's amazing how a few leaves and twigs can transform a camp back into the forest floor in a matter of seconds. I find Arthur a sturdy branch which he uses to help prop himself up and as a temporary crutch. It would be better if the horses were here, but they couldn't exactly be transported by Kilgharrah so before we left I enchanted them to meet us at the entrance of the valley of the fallen kings. This means that Arthur and I have a good day of walking in front of us, before we can ride the horses back to Camelot. We've already wasted a lot of time, but hopefully the darkness that is quickly shrouding us will help hide us against any Saxons.
As we move through the forest, it is clear that Arthur is struggling with being quiet, even though he is usually the master of stealth. He's limping and panting a lot so I pause and wait for him to get his breath back, it's only been five days but his injury is taking longer to heal than I thought it would, it's also not helping his mental health any more than it's helping his physical health.
We continue for a while, until it is clear that Arthur is beyond the point of continuation. I direct him to sit down by a tree and hand him the deer waterskin from which he gulps down the water as if he's never had it before. At some point we'll need to go near a stream to refill. It's getting too dark to see now, so I decide to call it a night and tell Arthur that we'll continue at dawn. He nods and closes his eyes, soon after the only noise in the forest is his gentle breathing and the sound of the night predators on the prowl for a meal.
^.^
Arthur's POV
Silence…
It jolts me awake and immediately I'm on guard. Judging by the air and the cool mist that I'm engulfed in, I think that dawn has just broken. That means I should be hearing the dawn chorus, composed by the birds, insects and deer, the wind rustling the leaves in harmony. But that's not what I can hear. My ears are straining intently trying to pick up some sound, but there isn't any. There's just…
Silence…
A feeling enters my stomach, and it's not a good feeling, it's a feeling I get when I know someone is watching me. "Merlin," I hiss as gently as possible into the mist. But there's no reply. I stand up and frantically scan both my near and far surroundings. He's nowhere in sight. The feeling is rising up through my stomach, into my throat. I'm turning around, but there's no sign of anyone else in this forest apart from me. My eyes stop, clearly noticing something before my mind has. I'm staring, hard into the mist, trying to guess what I'm looking at. At first, I think it's a tree but then it moves. A human figure, not Merlin, but a figure dressed in black, walking quickly and determinedly towards me. I think about running except I can't leave without Merlin, plus I wouldn't be able to get very far anyway. The person is closer now and I can just make out the outline of the more intricate details, those such as the face…
It is none other than Morgana who is approaching me.
I don't know if she's alone- I guess not- I don't even know if she's fully seen me yet, I just let myself fall down, on the spot, playing dead may work to my advantage. If she thinks I'm dead then maybe she'll just leave me alone?
She stops. I sense her a few strides from me. "Oh please, dear brother, I can see you breathing." I open my eyes and find myself gazing into hers. To think I was once attracted to her, to think this is the same person who helped anyone and everyone, "What a joy it is to see you, Arthur. Look at you, not so tall and mighty now. You may have won the battle, but you've lost the war. You're going to die by Mordred's hand." Her red lips quiver with certainty, I'm helpless and can't fight. This is it. This is the end. She's going to stand here and watch me die.
Then two things happen, one of the mind and one physical. I hear screams of men falling from not so far away and also become aware of the fact that Morgana has no idea that I'm not in- reality- dying, but recovering, I must look bad if she thinks I'm on deaths door. She continues, leaning towards me "But don't worry, my dear brother, I won't let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you, until the wolves gorge on your carcass and bathe in your blood."
I don't know how I missed it, but Merlin is suddenly standing behind Morgana, Excalibur drawn. He raises it high and sinks it into her side.
She winces and turns and smirks all at the same time "Hello Emrys, but you'll have to do better than that, you of all people should know, no mortal blade can kill me, I am a high priestess."
He shakes his head sternly "But this blade is not a mortal blade, like yours it was forged by a dragons breath… goodbye Morgana." he withdraws the sword as Morgana gasps with this revelation and takes her last breath.
I look up at him, in shock and admiration "You have brought peace at last to this kingdom." I whisper. I'm in disbelief "What just happened?"
"I woke up earlier and went to go look for some water, as I was coming back, I saw her coming towards you and I suppose just," he points to her body.
"What about the other men?"
"What other men?"
"I heard shouting coming from that direction." I say pointing towards the direction of the sound. We both look and I notice that another two men are walking towards us. "Saxons?" I ask Merlin, but he's grinning and instantaneously he runs towards the figures. He embraces them, definitely not Saxons. I hobble upwards towards them and can't believe my eyes as I see that it's Gwaine and Percival!
^.^
It's ironic really; well at least I think it is. Gwaine and Percival apparently arrived back at Camelot after the battle and after being involved with Eira, Gwaine and Gaius managed to apprehend her as Morgana's spy. Gwaine told Eira that Merlin and I were heading for Brineved when actually we were heading for the Crystal Lake in Avalon. However there is a forest which connects the route of Camelot to the lake of Avalon and to the path towards Brineved, So whilst we were coming back through the forest Morgana caught up with us and here we are.
"I feel so bad for leading her to you, if I'd known that you were alive, already been to Avalon and back heading for Camelot, I would have said nothing." Gwaine says, the guilt in his eyes is clear and I roll my own.
"Gwaine, it doesn't matter, I mean how many times have I put your life in danger?"
He smiles at that, and then pats my shoulder, the air is cleared once more.
Finally Merlin speaks up "Let's get you home."
^.^