Arthur's POV
Twenty weeks in, sixteen to go…
Everyday the child seems to grow, becoming bigger in all directions. Gwen's stomach is protruding rapidly and she's now not even attempting to wear any of the dresses that were brought for her last year. I wonder what type of child she is bearing within her, a Boy who will grow up in my footsteps and one day become king, or a girl who will love me and one day when she's older make her own way and marry for love. I also think about what sort of father I will be. Making my own mistakes, my own achievements compared to my late father. Will my child love me or prefer Guinevere's company. Will they want to ride horses or play with swords. Will they question me and fight with me or praise my every word.
I wonder, yet I am afraid. There's so much I need to learn before I'm ready. It's a bit like being king. My father prepared me for years, ready to take on the throne, but for this child I don't have years, I have weeks. Gaius is learning as well for it has been a long time since he delivered a person into the world. I overheard him talking to Merlin about whether he wants to learn about childbirth as well, but I don't think he's really up for it. He keeps looking at me with different eyes than before, as if he can see right through a supposed disguise that I'm supposedly hiding in. I want to talk to him, but I don't know how to approach him as a friend rather than a king to his servant. He hasn't mentioned his … secret again and I think that may be the whole cause of his distantness. I cannot bare the notion of us not speaking but that is what is happening. Merlin hardly acknowledges me when I try to speak to him , he's polite and smiley and still says 'yes sire', but underneath there's a bitter resentment towards me. And I can't even do anything about it. I owe him my life and so the least I can do is put up with his misery but after the child is born I will settle this matter once and for all and I am determined about getting the old Merlin back.
Aithusa's POV
I need to keep moving, I need to keep beating my wings because if I stop then I will fall to an almost certain death. I need to get to him… he is my only hope my only chance of surviving. He will know what to do with me, he did before…i don't want to go near him, his blood makes my skin crawl with negative energy. Sure he hatched me, but then abandoned me and I never saw him again, not until my wings were frail, my neck croocked and my voice gone. Sighing I wonder whether i have made the right choice whether or not I've waited too long and he will now turn me away. i wouldn't blame him if he did, after what I've done. straight after the battle i was angry and hurt. I tried to find morgana but she wasn't anywhere. Then i heard her pain and shared her final breath. I became even angrier because i knew it was him who had killed her. my mistress. My friend. My kin. Then I set off to find Kilgharrah , but again he had got there before me because it wasn't long after Morgana's death that I felt his screams but then nothing. He was my true kin, and I failed him, betrayed him. It was after that that I realised what I had done. I am a disgrace to dragon kind. So after I took a step back and sorted out my emotions. I only had two choices, starve to death or fly and hopefully come across the only person in the world who may still help me. I've been flying for what feels like forever, having to rest frequently due to my battered wings. I must look like such a sorry state. As I fly I feel my mind drifting away again drifting to the dark places I promised myself I'd try not to think about. Morgana's still body, Killgharahs pain and his disappointment in me. I need to make up to him, eventhough he probably hates me. I need to be on the kin's side and to that I know what I must do. i just hope that I can still redeem myself otherwise the guilt may kill me before hunger. I push myself to go faster, determined to make it to the castle. But the faster I fly the more the images haunt me, until all I can picture is Kilgharrah's screams mied with Morgana's. Death fills my nostrils with a pungent scent and tickles my skin. This is it, I have failed once more and am going to die as a traitor, man will not remember dragons as heroic beasts but as treasonous monsters. My mind is shutting down and I am becoming delirious. I imagine myself plummeting out of the sky, dying and effectively ruining the dragon population and reputation, I am the last of my kind but I don't want to be the very last of my kind, I thought that I would have had a chance to lay an egg, wait for it to hatch, look after it, make sure the dragons continued. But now there seems to be no hope, I really am on my own…
I carry on soaring, just waiting until I drop, it is inevitable, and I know that once I fall there will be no stopping it, no return. I'm anticipating it so much that at first I don't notice the castle, and when I do, I realise that the walls are too close and I'm going too fast…
Merlin's POV
A crash outside my window wakes me up, I hadn't realised that I'd been asleep but I must have been to wake up. I stumble out of bed, stretching and blinking. It isn't even dark yet and I wonder why I'm here, when I should be with Arthur or Gwen. I haven't really been near either of them recently. Gwen's been very busy preparing for the child and Arthur and I are spending as little time as possible in the same room with each other. He won't admit it, but he's scared to talk to me, possibly scared of me. I hate it, hate us being distant with each other, but I have made a resolution, if he won't talk to me then I won't talk to him. It may seem childish but I don't want to have a conversation with a man who won't accept who I am.
looking out the window I find myself staring at a white horse, except as I look closer I realise it has wings, and a pointy tail and doesn't really resemble a horse at all apart from its size.
It takes me a moment but I realise that it's Aithusa. I run out the door and down the stairs at record speed knowing that if Morgana's dragon is here, something must be seriously wrong with them. Aithusa hates me and we both know that so something must have happened to make them come here. I still haven't figured out whether Aithusa is a girl or a boy dragon, I don't actually know how you tell the difference. I mean I knew Kilgharrah was male, but that was because I heard him speak and understood him. Whereas I don't know the first thing about Aithusa. We've been separated for so long that I don't know how to approach. I needn't worry though because when I reach the dragon, I realise that he/she is unconscious. My concern is growing towards the wounds that are inflicted on Aithusa, I reckon he/she will not last the night. My magic pulls me to touch the skin, to run my hand over the scars and the fragility of the beast. But this is no beast, this is no monster who terrorises the skis. This is simply a creature of the land, of the old religion, who like me is the last one of its kind, who is lost but needs guidance. I make up my mind there and then, that I will not give up on Aithusa not until their final breath, and I vow that that will not happen tonight.
I fetch some water and gently begin to rub the dirt and dried blood away off the skin. He/she is still unconscious and although it isn't ideal at least we're hidden from the public eye. Aithusa managed to land precisely in a concealed area so at least I don't have to worry about someone ratting us out to Arthur. Just as I'm washing Aithusa's back, the cloth suddenly lurches forward and when I look up, my eyes meet Aithusa's, who seems to be regarding me with the upmost suspicion and distain.
"Hello." I say but the dragon just stares at me. It occurs to me that they might not be able to speak, maybe never learnt how.
Aithusa's head whips around to the bucket that I'm holding, He/she excels forward and dives their head staright in, lapping up the water as if it is the only thing they've drunk for days, which to be truthful is probably the case.
"You enjoyed that didn't you." I state after Aithusa has finished. I don't know what to do. Aithusa is still incredibly weak and perhaps on the verge of collapse any second now. But I can't just leave them here. Then I have a brilliant idea. Of course! I'll hide Aithusa in the old abandoned stables. No one ever goes there and Arthur certainly won't. It's perfect. I recall my plan back to Aithusa, who looks a bit concerned and almost scared. I hope they don't think that I'm going to abandon them. I have made a promise and I will stick to that promise.
After I've settled Aithusa in one of the stalls, and have repeatedly told him/her that I will be back with food and water, I make my way back into the castle to see if I can grab some food from the kitchen. Unfortunately I fail to get there in time and find it already shut and empty. I didn't notice the time passing when I was outside, it felt like a world away. But now my own stomach rumbles and although I promised Aithusa that I'd be back, I cannot imagine that having one meal before I set off again will be a problem.
^.^
Gaius has prepared a lovely meal of chicken and vegetables and I gobble most of it down before remembering that I need to save some for the dragon in the stables. Hurriedly I leave, only to discover Arthur approaching me with a frown.
Not now. I am really not in the mood for one of his lectures of how I shouldn't be sneaking food away or reminding me of my official servant duties.
I predict what he's about to say
'Merlin a word.' Not a question but a closed statement
And I will turn and put on my most charming smile that I use only when I don't want to do something and reply 'Yes Sire?'
Then afterwards he'll rant on about whatever it is I am or am not meant to be doing and then he'll pause expecting me to bow my head and say 'thank you sire, certainly sire, anything else sire?"
He will let me go, but by that time I will be so wrapped up in all the things that I'm meant to be doing that I might forget about Morgana's dragon and the next time I have a moment to myself I will check and it will be too late…
My mind snaps out of this very real vision and focuses on the corridor and the king that is marching towards me.
Except he doesn't stop me.
He just nods his head and carries on moving in the direction that I'd come from.
Strange.
Very strange.
But for now I have more pressing matters at hand.
Like the starving, scared, slightly angry dragon in the stable.
And if I don't get there soon I really do not want to discover what is on the menu.
Arthur's POV
Great. Now I can't even face him in the corridor. I don't understand why I am so afraid of just speaking to him, I mean I'm the king for goodness sake and yet I am terrified that he's going to turn me into a toad or something if I don't abide with his wishes. I feel so guilty about the whole fiasco, yet don't know why. Merlin isn't type of man to demand ransom, threaten a life or even harm a fly. The whole time he's been here he's taken everything I've thrown at him and probably a lot more that I don't know about. His magic is creating a barrier between us and I need to sort it out. Magic, it's such a powerful thing. My father never understood magic, thought that it manipulated him and his kingdom. Maybe he was right, that magic is brutal and hits where it most hurts. I always thought that if it ever came down to it I would chose differently, that I would be the pendragon to end the persecution, the isolation, the punishment. But I was given that choice before and I had to choose between allowing magic into the kingdom or letting a man die.
But… That doesn't make any sense.
I chose to reject the old religion. To allow Mordred to die.
But Mordred lived.
What if I had chosen differently. Would Mordred have died? would the battle at Camlann never have happened? Would Merlin have never told me the truth about his magic?
And if none of that had ever happened, would I be a different king ruling a different kingdom. One that was free… One that would always be free.
I am the king and had the power to make that choice in a heartbeat. So why can't I make the choice again, the one I so nearly made before. I want to, so what's stopping me. Because theoretically I could arrange a council meeting for tomorrow, talk to the knights today, and by the next sunset, Camelot would no longer be a place where magic was outlawed.
I breathe for a second tryring to figure out what is holding me back.
It's my father.
From since I was little I looked up to him, wanted to be with him every step of the way. I've grown up with seeing magic as a threat and none of my experiences have ever taught me otherwise. Both my parents, killed by magic. Morgana tried to take over the kingdom using magic. It has never been used for a force for good. That's what is stopping me…
But there is someone… Someone whose name doesn't claw itself into my mind as being asscoicated with dark magic
Why… why is it always Merlin.
It always has been him who has affected my choices.
It still is him who affects my choices.
And it always will be him who affects my choices.
My decisions.
My destiny.
Merlin's POV.
Aithusa is settled. They have eaten my meagre offerings and have just settled into one of the stables. I have spoken to the horses using magic and told them the situation. They didn't say much in return but at least they've now accepted that Aithusa is a friend not a foe. I like the stables. The oaken doors and the stone seem to muffle the noises of the outside world. It's peaceful, quiet, and serene. I begin to rub down my horse. Even though someone else has already done it, I like to spend time with her. She's a chestnut mare who goes by the name of Jasmin but her true name is Rysia. I don't often use my magic for such trivial things as communicating with animals, because telepathy is a lot harder to maintain and control. However from the long trips away and often hours on horse back I often found myself talking to Rysia through my mind. I'm doing it now, telling her what I'm doing and about the day, I yawn and rhythmically begin to rub her between the ears. I'm so comfortable I could just- there's a noise and immediately I jump up in fright. Arthur is standing by the doorway.
"Arthur!" I say placing hand on chest, my heart is beating ridiculously fast. I take a couple of deep breaths and it slows down a bit.
"Merlin, I need to talk to you."
Oh no, whatever it is, it can't be good as Arthur's wearing that face on him. "Yes I suppose we do." I mumble as a reply.
"Merlin… I forgive you."
I raise an eyebrow and frown, forgive me for what? What have I done now? The pause seems to engulf ud both and all around us stills, then I realise he's expecting me to say something. "What are you forgiving me for?" I query and now it is Arthur's turn to frown.
"For having magic…"
Suddenly a burst of anger that I can't control flares up inside of me "You forgive me, for having magic? You are unbelievable, Arthur I am not ashamed of having magic, I was born with it, you have no right, NO RIGHT at all to forgive me for being who I am, there's nothing to forgive because I am me. I thought you'd accept me, I thought you of all people would accept me. You're just like your father, eventhough you think your not. But you are." I'm on dangerous ground here but I can't stop ". I can understand, believe me I can understand that returning magic to Camelot is a big ask and I understand that you have your reasons for not returning it to Camelot, but what I cannot understand is the fact that you are ingoring me completely, pretending I don't have magic pretending that nothing has happened, well I hate to break it to you Arthur but it has happened. I hate you!" I take a couple of wobbly breaths, realising what I've just said. What's said cannot be unsaid… "Arthur, I…" but he's not listening and is walking towards me. I wonder how much he heard, if anything. But then he draws his sword and I'm afraid so afraid because I am not armed, he's mad, I get it but he's not so mad that he's going to kill me. Is he?
"You know Merlin, I have done a lot for you over the years, you are the one person I truly trust. At least I thought you were. When you told me you had magic… I just…"
"This is a mess isn't it?"
There's a pause "I'm sorry." We say together. There should be a sense of joy and relief but all I feel is numbness. Then Arthur advances some more, his sword still drawn. "On your knees."
"Arthur?"
"I said ON YOUR KNEES." He sounds furious again. I lower myself on my knees waiting for the blow. I deserve this. I failed Arthur by not being good enough for him, I deserve to die by his hand. But the blow never comes. Instead Excalibur touches each of my shoulders gently, "Arise Sir Merlin, Knight of Camelot."
Did what happen just actually happen.
"Arthur you can't just knight me!"
"I'm the king I can do what I want."
"But I'm common."
"Not anymore."
"So why?"
"Because over the years you have taught me a lot, what it is to be true to yourself, and I feel that you Merlin can't be true to yourself until you are a knight. And I can't be true to myself unless I allow magic to return to Camelot."
"Seriously."
"Yes." I breathe out a sigh that I didn't even realise I was holding in.
"Just one thing Merlin…"
"Yes?" my voice waver with uncertainity.
"When were you going to tell me about the dragon?"
"Aithusa? They only just arrived today, I haven't had a chance to tell you."
"Hmm." I'm worried that he's going to change his mind.
"It's only temporary, just until tomorrow."
"Okay, just until tomorrow, can't let you think you've got one up on me." And in that moment Arthur smiles at me and I know that we are friends again. In that moment everything is peaceful and calm and as it should be. But then that moment ends…