Chapter Two : Joey Enjoys a Most Fabulous Muffin

After lots of sex followed by some much-needed sleep, Joey and Rachel awakened and got ready for their day. Their plans were to explore Port Charles. Rachel was looking forward to finding a place to get her hair and nails done. She was also excited to do a little shopping. Her plans were to bring home some super-awesome souvenirs for her friends Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Ross.

Joey and Rachel showered, got dressed, then headed downstairs to the Metro Court for their complimentary continental breakfast. After stepping off the elevator, Joey was overtaken by delicious scents wafting in from the kitchen. "Something smells like bacon... and yummy muffins, Rachel. I love my muffins," he said in a dreamy voice.

They were seated by their server who left to get their juice and the rest of their orders. Joey had ordered bacon and eggs, Blueberry muffins and freshly squeezed o.j. Rachel wasn't that hungry, so all she got was an apple-cinnamon muffin and a glass of juice.

While they were waiting for their food to arrive, they were chatting about their day. "What will you be doing when I go get my nails and hair done?" Rachel asked her sexy boyfriend.

"I am going to explore Port Charles," Joey said proudly. "I am going to see if anyone recognizes me from any of my films."

"That's a great idea, honey," Rachel said. "We can meet back here later for dinner."

"Sounds like a plan," Joey responded. "Hey, Rach, do you think that Chandler and Ross remembered to feed our parakeet?"

"Joey, we don't have a parakeet," Rachel gently reminded.

"Ohhh," he said sadly. "But I want one."

"We travel too much to have a parakeet."

"Then how are we ever gonna have any kids?" Joey asked.

Before Rachel could answer that question, Joey saw someone he recognized. It was the grouchy old lady from the airplane who had harassed him and Rachel the night before when their kinky sexcapade had gotten too loud.

"Rachel! Rachel!" Joey cried out. "It's her- the CRAZY old lady."

The old woman was with two people - a man with wild troll hair and a woman who wore a slightly see-through mask over her face to cover up what appeared to be burns. Joey couldn't stop staring at the trio. They were embracing and appeared to be quite intimate.

"Hey, old lady!" Joey yelled. The woman and her companions turned to look at Joey and Rachel.

Very slowly, the old woman approached Rachel and Joey's table, her companions at her side. "Well... if it isn't the young whippersnappers who were having loud, raunchy sex and disturbed me when I tried to read my crocheting magazine last night," said the bitchy hag.

"That would be us," said Joey.

"Ohhhh," Rachel countered. "And if it isn't the nasty, wrinkled-up piece of leather who has been giving us a hard time."

"I took your advice, dearie," the old lady said with a smile. "You said I probably hadn't been laid in really longgggg time... so I took care of that last night. I found myself TWO lovers."

She gestured to the two people standing next to her. "This the dashing attorney Scott Baldwin and his roommate, the sexy Ms. Ava Jerome."

Joey was taken aback. He was staring at Scott. "You mean you actually fucked this decrepit bag of bones?"

"I like my women in pairs," Scott told Joey with a wink. "The more the merrier."

"My body looks worse than hers, under my clothes," said Ava. "I have burns all over... and a great-big, black-hole..."

Joey choked on his juice that the server had just brought to the table. "Are you talking about your snatch?" he asked.

"You better believe it, baby," Ava told him with a wink.

"I am gonna be sick," said Rachel, feeling close to upchucking as the old woman began making out with the man who resembled a troll.

"Waitress!" Joey called out. "Bring my muffins and bacon quick! I need to get away from these freaky people."

Ava, Scott, and the old hag walked away together, holding hands. "I sure hope that's the last we see of her," Rachel said to Joey. "I mean really; she's so disgusting."

"I agree," said Joey. "But no matter what, she hasn't taken away my appetite for muffins."

Joey was so pleased when his eggs, bacon, and a Most Fabulous Muffin was brought over to his table. "Where's my muffin?" Rachel asked sadly when she realized that the server hadn't brought anything for her.

"I am afraid a nearly toothless old woman ate your muffin," the waitress replied.

Rachel looked so sad and heartbroken, but Joey promised to share his muffin with his gorgeous girlfriend. "Here, Rach, have a bite of my muffin," Joey offered.

"Ohhh Joey, you're so sweet, sharing your muffin with me."

"I wouldn't share my muffins with just anybody," Joey said. "I don't like to share."

"Yeah, I know," Rachel said with a cute little laugh.

Xxxxxx

After their breakfast at the Metro Court, Joey and Rachel parted ways with a kiss. She was going to get her hair and nails done, then take a trip to the mall. Joey decided he'd walk around Port Charles and check out the sites. "I love you, honey. See you back at the Metro Court for our dinner," Rachel said, kissing her hunk of a boyfriend.

"Love you, too," Joey said as he watched Rachel get into a taxi cab.

After she left, he started out on a long, leisurely walk. He was strutting his stuff when he ended up at the park. He sat down on a park bench to take in the sights and sounds. There was a guy about his age, pushing a little kid on a swing.

"Cute kid," said Joey when the man came to sit next to him on the bench.

"That's my son, Aiden," said the man. "He's six."

"Ohhh wow. I've always wanted a parakeet, but my girlfriend won't let me get one."

Suddenly, the man on the bench was staring at Joey in shock as if he recognized him from somewhere. "Hey, are you Joey Tribiani?! THE Joey Tribiani?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Wow, my girlfriend and I have seen all your films. She's a HUGE fan. Well, I guess you could say she WAS my girlfriend. We broke up three weeks ago," said the guy and he didn't seem too happy about it.

"Ohhh really, you saw all my films?" Joey said with happiness. "That is SOOO kewl."

Then Joey got serious. He said, "But I am sorry about your girlfriend. What happened? Did she eat your muffin?"

Lucky shook his head. "No, she didn't eat my muffin; it was nothing like that. We just... We drifted apart."

"But you have a kid?" Joey said, referring to the child the man had said was named Aiden.

"No, he's my kid with my ex-wife. Sam and I - we don't have any kids."

"My girlfriend Rachel and I don't either. She says we travel too much. Like I said, she won't even let me get a parakeet," Joey stated. "Can I ask, why did you and your girlfriend break up? And what's your name?"

"I am Lucky Spencer," said Lucky as he shook Joey's hand. "And it's a long story about me and Sam; it all started with this huge fight we had. It was terrible. She called me every rotten name in the book."

"She called you a Cock-juggling thundercunt?"

"No," Lucky said. "Everything but that."

"You must have done something really bad. Did you eat your chicken drumstick with your fork or your t-bone steak with your hands?"

"No," Lucky answered. "It was nothing like that either. See, I told her I didn't want anymore kids and she didn't take it all too well. She thinks I'm still in love with my ex - Elizabeth."

"Awww man, I hate when that happens," Joey said sadly.

Joey suddenly got the best idea he had in a long time; he was going to get Lucky and Sam back together.

"Lucky, Rachel and I would love to double-date with you and Sam," Joey said.

"I dunno," Lucky said uneasily. He wasn't sure what Sam would do at the idea of a date with him right now; they weren't even really speaking to each other since their fight.

"Oh please. We haven't gotten to see much of Port Charles yet. I know Sam will say yes to the idea; you already said she's a big fan of my work," Joey said.

Lucky sighed," Well alright. I will talk to her tonight about it and give you a call. Let's exchange numbers."

"Great!"

The two new friends pulled out their phones and exchanged phone numbers so they could be in contact.

"I'll call you in the morning and if she says yes, we can plan a date."

"Fantastic!" Joey grinned. Not nearly as fantastic as parakeet, but this would be great fun.

Xxxxxxx

Ater Joey left, Lucky remained in the park watching his little boy Aiden play. It took a lot of courage, but finally he got the nerve to call Sam. "Hey, Sam, I know we haven't talked in a few days and that things aren't the best between us right now, but...well, I met this guy today at the park..."

"Lucky, what's this about?" Sam asked.

"Your celebrity crush, Joey Tribiani is in town, shooting a new film. We met in the park and became instant friends. I told him all about how you love his movies and how you'd love to meet him," Lucky explained.

"Really!?" Sam gasped with excitement. "You met Joey Tribiani."

"I did and he's hoping we can all have dinner - you, me, him, and his girlfriend Rachel."

"You're kidding!" Sam gasped.

"No, it was his idea. He wants to meet you," Lucky stated. "So... what do you say? Do you want to?"

"I couldn't pass up the chance to meet my celebrity crush," Sam responded. "I've always wanted to meet Joey Tribiani.'

"It's a date then. I'll call Joey and let him know we'll have dinner with him and Rachel. I'll call you back later when I know all the details," said Lucky before ending the call.