It was dark when they left the house, the sun hadn't even begun to creep over the horizon as they snuck out of his house in silence. Even Hayate seemed to sense the situation and didn't bark or whine as Riza carried him to the car and placed him on blankets on the backseat. They drove through the suburbs with the headlights off, a dangerous but necessary precaution, and only switched them on once they were on the open road and headed towards the country. Even then, Riza kept looking behind them in case someone had followed them towards safety.

It took hours for her to relax, the sun had turned the sky from inky darkness to red, and then finally to light sky blue by the time she felt as if she could breathe freely. Riza knew she wasn't safe yet, that until whoever was behind her disappearance was caught, she'd never be safe, but this far away from East City, she felt like she could breathe without constantly having to look over her shoulder. That feeling of freedom only intensified the further away they got from the city.

Hours went by, and the lush green fields that had been the scenery for most of the way slowly turned into a town. It was small, and felt familiar, but it didn't feel like home. She'd expected her home town to feel different from East City, that it would feel like a place where she belonged, but as she trailed after Roy while he brought them food for their stay, she couldn't help but think that he looked more at ease than she felt in this new place. She kept Hayate close to her, and used it as an excuse not to go into the butchers or the greengrocers, she waited outside for him and watched the crowd for familiar faces that might have followed them here.

They were far away, and she felt free, but she wasn't about to ignore the reality of the situation. Riza was a lot of things, but stupid wasn't one of them. At least not as far as personal safety went.

The house itself was out of town, a five minute drive through the country and they pulled up outside it. It was old, and looked like it was still going through some repairs. The roof was new, and the windows, but there was something about the place that made her think it had been left neglected for years before someone started putting it back together. It didn't feel like home either, although she could feel the familiarity of it deep within her bones, like it had been important to her once.

Roy gave her the freedom to wander around the house without interruption. He busied himself in the kitchen, putting the food away, while Riza walked silently through the halls. It had been replastered and painted, it was possible that the electrics had been rewired as well because there was something about the lights that just felt different in a way that she couldn't quite put her finger on. One of the rooms was filled with tools, empty save for them and freshly painted walls. Riza left it alone and went on to the next room, and the next.

Riza knew it was her father's study before she opened the door. She knew it the same way she knew how to run or breathe. Just like she knew she'd spent hours waiting outside the room to talk to him when she was young, and then when she was older she had tried to avoid it completely. There was something about the room that made her nervous, apprehensive, and even a little scared. Like she was fourteen again, home for the holidays and terrified about what new depths of madness her father might have found. Roy had kept him from the worst of it, had kept his mind distracted and had given him someone to focus on, and that had kept his insanity at bay. It had become worse after Roy left, and even worse after he had figured out all the tricks to his flame alchemy.

Scared, but willing to face her fear, Riza opened the door. It was empty, apart from the memories.

Her father holds her tightly, and promises that everything will be okay, that they'll be okay. She's young, but she knows it's a lie. Her mother is dead, how can anything be okay? But her father is crying, his tears dampen the shoulder of her yellow dress, and she hugs him and doesn't argue.

Riza never argued with her father.

The years drift by, and Berthold Hawkeye begins to lock himself away. Obsessed with flames and heat. It's all he thinks about. All he talks about. Riza gets sent away to school, where she's the only one who can recite both the laws of alchemy and thermodynamics. Riza's seven.

Riza shuns alchemy at every turn. Every good natured teacher who thinks she's smart. Every club president who wants her to just 'give it a go'. Riza sneers at them, dismisses them with a harsh look and a comment about how not everyone wants to do things the easy way. Alchemy is her father, alchemy is that boy who lives in her house while she's sent away to boarding school, alchemy is a locked door, alchemy is neglect. Riza Hawkeye wants nothing to do with it.

Roy's not that bad. He's studious, and smarter than her, he likes talking about books, and isn't put off by her sarcastic wit. She softens around him, it's easily done, and she can't help but think that they could've been friends, in a different world, or a different time. A place where he wasn't her father's favoured apprentice, and she wasn't his shunned daughter. It's a shame, she thinks, that they'll never be anything other than those things.

Berthold slips further and further into madness once Roy leaves for the military. Riza leaves school with an education, but finds herself caring for him. She makes sure he eats, that he bathes, that he does more than obsess over his research. Berthold smiles at her one day, thanks her for being a good daughter. She knows she isn't what he wanted. He wanted someone like Roy, someone whip smart and willing to turn lead into gold if it would please him. But right then, for a moment, she feels loved.

Then he asks her for help, and she knows she should say no. But she doesn't.

It burns. Her entire back feels like it's on fire. Riza clenches her hands into fists and tries not to scream as her father pushes the needle beneath the skin, leaving yet another permanent red mark behind. They've been doing this for days. It's a torture that never ends. She sleeps in his study. He brings her broth and water. Then the next day they do it all again.

When it's over, he cries.

Riza doesn't.

Bile rose in the back of her throat, and Riza rushed to the bathroom, and thankfully got there in time before she lost her breakfast. Afterwards, after she'd rinsed her mouth with water, she sat on the cold tiles with her eyes closed and reminded herself to breathe. They were memories, nothing more. Her father was dead, and the pain was nothing more than a memory. Just a memory.

Hayate scratched at the door, and she waved him away as if he could see her through the wood. He couldn't, and was soon joined by Roy, who had the courtesy to knock before he came into the bathroom. She must've looked awful, because he dropped to his knees and pulled her into his arms.

"Everything okay?" He murmured against her hair.

They'd sat like this before, on the floor, too weak and too tired to care and push him away. She just couldn't remember when.

"I remembered…" She pressed her face into the crook of his neck, he smelled of aftershave and soap and she breathed him in. The feel of his arms wrapped around her, and the warmth from his body against hers. Maybe this is what home felt like? Warmth and safety, and the smell of soap. "I'm okay. I just remembered a lot."

"Your father?" He asked, and a hand went protectively to her back, where the flame alchemy array had been preserved forever.

Riza nodded, and Roy sighed, and shifted around so that he was sitting more comfortably on the bathroom floor. He didn't let go of her, if anything, his grip got tighter. "I wish I could've saved you from him."

"You always want to save me from something." Riza said. "Ishval. My father. Stop trying to save me."

"I can't help it." Roy said. "It's what we do for those we…"

"I know." Riza said.

"You do?"

"Roy, I've got amnesia, but I'm not an idiot." Riza said, and tilted her head up to look him in the eye. "I know how you feel. I know because your actions speak louder than words ever could. I don't know how I feel. Or how I felt. But you? I know."

"Oh."

"I'm not looking for romance, Roy." Riza said, and the sadness in his eyes caused her heart to ache in sympathy. "I'm being followed by a mystery, I'm remembering my life, I'm still finding out who I am. I can't be a… a girlfriend."

"I know. I'm not asking you to be my - do we have to use the term girlfriend?" Roy asked, and his arms loosened around her.

"No. We don't."

"Okay. I'm not asking for that. But to pretend I don't… I can't do that."

"I don't want you to pretend." Riza said. "I'm not looking for romance. There are some things I can't be yet. But I…"

"You what?"

Riza was aware of how close they were. Of the cold tiles beneath them. The warmth of his body so close to hers. The length of his eyelashes. The curve of his mouth. She wasn't looking for romance, and she wasn't herself enough to be there for him the way a partner would be, but he felt like home. He felt safe. He felt like the calm in the middle of a storm. He felt like her heartbeat. Integral to her. As important as the blood within her veins. As the breath in her lungs.

She touched his face, and leaned in, and Roy didn't stop her. Their eyes met, warm brown and piecing black, and she reminded herself to breathe before she closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his. They were soft and gentle, both of them were holding back from the brink of desire. Desire that would've had them moaning each others names against their skin, desire that would've had them naked and writhing beneath each other, desire that they wanted to indulge, but not yet. Not here on the bathroom floor. Now was for kissing, slowly, and gently, testing the waters.

Roy broke away first, and rested his forehead against hers. He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face, and Riza wouldn't want him to hide it. "Uh." He said. Ever so eloquently.

"Yeah." Riza said.

"That - I didn't expect that." Roy admitted, and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up even more.

"I didn't exactly plan it." Riza admitted. "But it seemed like the easiest way to tell you."

"Tell me what, exactly?" He asked. Either he was an idiot, or he was playing at being innocent, Riza thought it was a rather strange combination of the two. Who, other than him, would tease the girl who had just kissed him?

"That I care." Riza said. "That to me, you feel more like home than this place does."

Roy kissed her again, sweet and soft, and yes, this felt like home more than any one place ever had, or ever could.