Marcocrushed

by Jack Coffison

Follow up to 'My Dinner with Buff Frog'. Post 'Monster Bash'. Marco's feelings are tearing him apart, and now more than ever... He needs his friends.

4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: The Jerk Knight

Yvgeny Bulgolyubov or 'Buff Frog' as he had come to be known, had lived a fairly interesting life. He was raised as a tadpole in an old, run-down orphanage for monsters. His parents had either died or abandoned him. He wasn't sure which. Either way, he found himself growing up alongside many other monsters with similar stories.

Growing up as an orphan and learning to make his own family among the friends he had made was part of what helped cultivate his fierce sense of loyalty. And it was something he would carry with him until the end- for better or worse.

There was no actual school at the orphanage. All they really ever received in terms of education was an hour-long lecture once a week by Ms Terror. Buff Frog wasn't quite sure that the elderly monster in charge of the orphanage was really named 'Ms Terror'. But it was the only name he remembered her by. And it certainly fit.

Once he was of age, Buff Frog set out with a small number of friends to make a name for himself. Unfortunately, there really weren't a lot of options out there for a young monster. Especially one that had been born poor and barely educated. The best he and his friends could do was either work in the Rainbow Mines, or join the so-called 'Monster Rebellion'. A small group of self-described anarchists that had dedicated themselves to toppling Butterfly Castle and taking Mewni back for the monsters.

The Monster Rebellion was always looking for poor and under educated monsters to use as cannon fodder in their war aginst the Mewmans. And many of Buff Frogs oldest friends couldn't pass up the chance to take revenge on the Mewmans for all they had done to monster kind. Buff Frog himself had never been a stranger to violence. In his younger days at the orphanage, he seemed to get into a new fight at least once a day. Usually, it was to defend one of the smaller monsters against a bully. Of course, he had never really shied away from picking fights for more petty reasons.

Like if someone insulted his head-flippers, for example.

But something about joining the Monster Rebellion didn't really sit right with Buff Frog. After all, he had gone his entire life without ever meeting a Mewman. All of the cruelty he had seen throughout his life had come at the hands of other monsters. Why waste time trying to keep alive a conflict that had been going for centuries? Was staging a violent rebellion truly the best way for Monsters and Mewmans to resolve their differences?

Of course, he understood the sense of anger that drove some of his friends to join the rebellion. Mewmans had a long history of oppressing monsters. Driving them further and further into Forest of Certain Death and away from their precious kingdom. It seemed like all throughout history, Mewmans were always looking for another thing to steal from the monsters. Generations of monsters had lost their homes, their livelihoods- and all too often, their lives.

Still, even knowing all of this- Buff Frog simply couldn't find it in his heart to take up arms against an enemy he had never even met. And so, Buff Frog joined the rest of his friends in working in the Rainbow Mines.

Years passed by slowly. Over time, Buff Frog found himself attending the funeral for one of his oldest friends. And he could only stand in quiet horror as he soon himself attending funeral after funeral. His first friend had died as a part of the Rebellion and was given a hero's send-off. His second friend had died of 'Rainbow Disease' from the mines. His funeral had been much less eventful.

One by one, Buff Frog watched as more and more of friends began to die off. A small group of his Rebel friends had died during a Mewman raid on the Rebellion headquarters. Another one of his friends fell to disease, and another died during a drunken dispute in the middle of the night.

Within the span of ten years, Buff Frog was the only one left from the orphanage. In that time, Buff Frog had quit his job in the mines in order to follow a career in speed eating. Only to pull his stomach during a tragic eating accident, and find himself no longer able to compete. As he began to spiral into despair, Buff Frog started taking job requests from some particularly shady monsters.

It started out as general 'bodyguard' work. Nothing too demanding. All he had to do was use his natural 'buffness' to scare away any undesirables. But as Buff Frog fell deeper into sadness, he soon found himself taking jobs that he would have avoided otherwise. Soon, he found himself beating up other monsters for 'protection' money and dealing in various other criminal enterprises. He was always 'the muscle'. Which worked fine for him. The less he had to think about what he was doing the better.

Then, one day- he stumbled upon an unusual job request.

'Be My Friend - Fifty Bucks plus Food and Board'

Buff Frog could still remember scribbling down the address on his hand, and wondering if it was just someone's idea of a joke. But when he made it to the gates of Castle Avarius, he was surprised to find that the job listing was completely sincere. And it had been made by none other than Prince Ludo Avarius, a member of one of the few remaining Monster Royal Families.

Ludo didn't seem to understand how friendship worked. And for the most part, Ludo simply treated Buff Frog like a servant. And after a while, Ludo's continuous and annoying demands began to grate on his nerves. Then, one night Buff Frog decided to call it quits. Living in a castle was not worth dealing with such a little brat. It was obvious that living his entire life as royalty had made him selfish and spoiled. And being the runt of his rather enormous family had given him a deep-seated inferiority complex that seemed to manifest itself in incredible bouts of narcism and paranoia.

But on the night that Buff Frog threatened to leave, he saw something else in Ludo. Something different. It was brief- but in that moment, Buff Frog saw a flash of sadness in his eyes that he recognized all too well. Deep down, Ludo was just a sad, lonely monster. Just like himself. And in that moment, Buff Frog thought that maybe... Just maybe... They could help each other.

Unfortunately, that never happened. Ludo soon recruited a bunch of other monsters as 'friends', and quickly became obsessed with the idea of stealing the Royal Magic Wand, and ruling over all of Mewni. Somehow, over time Buff Frog managed to convince himself that what Ludo wanted was also what he wanted. If Ludo became the ruler of Mewni, Buff Frog thought, then he would usher in a whole new era for Monsters everywhere. No longer would Monsters have to scurry away into the shadows of the Forest of Certain Death. Together, they would build a brand new kingdom and live forever in peace and harmony.

His younger self would have called him a fool. His younger self would have told him how much he sounded like the monsters of the so-called Monster Rebellion. And reminded him of their fate. But Buff Frog was in no condition to think of such things. He had grown desperate for something, anything, to latch onto. All he wanted was to feel like he was a part of something bigger. And most of all- to feel like he had friends again.

For a brief time, it felt like he had truly achieved that goal. But all of that fell apart with Toffee's arrival.

Once again, Buff Frog found himself spiraling into despair. Only to find a spark of hope in the last place he ever expected to find one. On the night that he found himself kicked out of Ludo's castle forever, he found himself back on Earth, sitting in his old 'spying tree' and reveling in misery. He was cold, hungry and alone for the first time in a while. And even though he knew the feeling pretty well by now, it still hurt.

Then, all of a sudden- he received something. A gesture of kindness from none other than Star Butterfly- the Princess of Mewni he had been spying on and generally harassing for the past few months. It was something very simple. A plate of buttered corn, left on the windowsill. But in that moment, it had meant everything to him.

"And-... And the corn... She was... Blugh... Good... Very... Butter-... Buttery... Yes."

Marco Diaz gave a patient nod, as he gently dabbed at Buff Frogs forehead with a damp cloth. "I remember. I actually watched her do it..." he muttered, with a smile. "...I was so proud of her in that moment. She really is special... Isn't she?"

Buff Frog gave a weak smile. "Yes... Miss... Princess... Star Butterfly... Is good..." he said, his voice low and rasped. "Truly... Truly good..."

As he spoke, Buff Frogs eyes fluttered open and closed. He was obviously delirious, and he had been sweating a thick green slime all day. All Marco could do was change Buff Frogs sheets every few hours, and do his best to keep him warm. Which was difficult to do inside a frosty shack made of mud. Still- Marco did his best to keep Buff Frog comfortable as he writhed and groaned in his bed of mud.

Apparently, Buff Frog had been sick for a few days now. Unfortunately, he had stubbornly refused to get some much-needed rest- and as a result, he had made himself much worse. Sometime very early in the morning, Marco received a panicked phone call from Katrina, after she had found her father collapsed outside of his bedroom, oozing with goo and groaning in pain.

Marco had wasted no time in grabbing his dimensional scissors and hurrying over. After doing his best to settle down the frightened and teary-eyed Buff Kids, he managed to heave Buff Frog back into his bed and made an emergency call. Kelly had arrived on the scene halfway through the explanation, and together they had both spent the last several hours taking care of Buff Frog. He was a complete delirious mess, and he had spent the last few hours drifting in and out of consciousness to tell his life's story.

"...My Buff Babies... Have given me... Something... That I was always wanting... A family..." muttered Buff Frog. "...I-... I love them... So much... I-... I am owing... All of the happiness I have... To them..."

Marco gave Buff Frog a soft smile. "I know, Buff Frog. And so do they." he said.

Buff Frog chuckled a little, but it quickly faded into another long groan. "Oof... I-... I am not remembering... The last time... I-... Was being... So... Sick..." he muttered. "...Karate Boy... If-... If I do not make it... Promise me... You will look after... My babies..."

Marco frowned a little. "Hey. Don't talk like that-" he began to say, only to be interrupted as Buff Frog placed a slimy hand on his shoulder.

"Please. Karate Boy... I am knowing... That this... Is a tremendous thing... To ask... Of someone so young... But I am trusting you..." said Buff Frog, with a quiver in his voice. "I know... You would make tremendous guardian... To my babies..."

Marco grabbed Buff Frogs hand and looked at him in the eyes. "Listen, Buff Frog. Kelly already asked her parents to prepare some kinda secret family remedy just for you. She seemed super confident that it'd help. She already promised the Buff Kids that it'd make you all better. And you know Kelly- she keeps her promises." he said. "...Just hang on a little longer, okay? Don't you go giving up on us. You've still got a lot of time left, Buff Frog."

Buff Frog gave a weak smile. "...Thank you, Karate Boy..." he muttered. "...Did I... Ever tell you... About the orphanage... I grew up in?"

Marco smiled. "Yeah. Twice now. But why don't you go ahead and tell me again?"

As Buff Frog began to speak, the combination of his deliriousness, the rasp in his voice and his accent quickly reduced everything he said into an incoherent mess. Still, Marco stood by his side, patiently dabbing at his forehead and nodding along with him. Buff Frog had been talking like this for quite a while now. It seemed to help distract him from how terribly ill he felt. And Marco was happy to lend him a sympathetic ear. After all, Buff Frog had done the same for him on more that one occasion now. Marco was glad to return the favor.

As Buff Frog slowly began to fade back into unconsciousness, Marco found his gaze wandering over to Buff Frogs bedroom window.

Marco guessed that it was some time in the mid-afternoon, judging by how bright it was outside. Winter was finally drawing to a close in the land of Mewni. And while a great deal of the land remained covered in a sheet of ice, most of it had finally begun to melt away. Allowing Mewni's natural beauty to finally come peeking out through the snow as spring drew ever closer.

As Marco stared out the window, his gaze swept across the valley of dark trees that surrounded Buff Frogs swamp. As his gaze wandered over the trees and into the horizon, his eyes were quickly drawn toward the castle that stood far off in the distance.

Butterfly Castle. He had been living there for almost a year now, yet it still managed to inspire a sense of awe. Equal parts enormous and majestic, the castle was truly a magical sight to behold. Star had once told him that Butterfly Castle was so big that one could spot it from anywhere on Mewni. And Marco believed it.

Marco breathed a heavy sigh as he felt a familiar twinge in his chest. In quiet moments like this, whenever he let his mind wander, it always seemed to come back to the one subject that he had been trying desperately to avoid.

Marco slowly shook his head and sighed once more. It had been a while since the last time he had talked to Star. After Stump Day, it had gotten harder and harder to face her. He still did his best to fulfill is squirely duties by helping her with her numerous princess duties, along with all of the homework that the Queen had assigned her. But for the most part, they had been avoiding each other.

This had been going on for a while now. At least a couple of weeks. But it felt like much longer. Whenever they were in the same room together, the air would quickly fill with tension. Neither of them seemed to know what to say to each other, so they would simply remain silent. Only speaking to each other when it was absolutely necessary.

The whole situation was as exhausting as it was painful. It was beginning to seem like he had no options left. He was no longer just hurting himself by staying with Star. Now he was hurting her as well. By worrying her... And distracting her. It was becoming painfully obvious that one of his worst fears had been realized.

He had become a burden to her. Another problem for her to deal with. On top of the near endless mountain of them that she had been carrying around after she had dedicated herself to becoming a better princess, and building a better Mewni.

She was already overwhelmed as it was. And the last thing she needed was another problem.

Marco grit his teeth as he felt his chest tighten and grow heavy. Deep down... He knew what he had to do. He had been avoiding it... Hoping desperately that somehow... Some way... Everything would work out.

But it wasn't going to work out. That much was obvious by now.

Marco knew what he had to do now. It was going to be one of the most difficult things he had ever done... But he was sure that it was the right thing to do.

Well... Mostly sure.

"I'M HERE!"

Marco blinked, as Kelly suddenly burst into the room and began marching toward Buff Frog with an enormous cauldron in her arms. Hopping along behind her were the Buff Kids, each one of them croaking loudly with worry and excitement.

"Make way for Aunty Shrubbery!" announced one of the Buff Kids.

"Karate Uncle! Aunty Shrubbery says she's got the medicine for daddy!" exclaimed another.

Kelly gave a low grunt as she heaved the large cauldron over her head. "Yep! Sorry it took so long! It took a while to prepare. I kinda had to fight a bunch of angry snake-squirrels in order to get the berries, and- Y'know what? Never mind." she said, as she turned to face Buff Frog. "Hey? Buff Frog? Are you okay?"

Buff Frog gave a low groan, and his head-flippers trembled slightly.

"He's been in and out of consciousness for a while." said Marco. "And hey- I thought I told you kids to stay in the living room. We still don't know if what your father's got is contagious."

All of the Buff Kids began to croak and bounce in protest all at once, as Marco gently ushered them out of the room. "Come on, guys. I know you're worried about your dad. But you know that the last thing he'd want is for you to get sick too." he said.

Kelly loudly cleared her throat. "It's okay, Marco! 'Cuz this potion I've got's gonna cure Buff Frog right away! Trust me. My parents are amazing doctors." she said. "All we gotta do is make him chug this whole thing. Trust me- he'll be back to his old self in no time!"

Marco smiled, and the Buff Kids began to bounce and croak with excitement once again. "That's good to hear." said Marco. "Uh-... Do you need some help with that big cauldron thing? It, uh-... It looks really heavy."

Kelly nodded. "That's 'cuz it is really heavy. And sure- Can you grab that side, and I'll grab this side?" she asked, as she slowly and carefully maneuvered the cauldron off of her head. Marco reached over and grabbed a small silver handle on one side of the cauldron. Marco winced a little as he felt the weight of the cauldron pull against him, and he had to quickly grab the handle with his other hand to keep his grasp from slipping.

"Oof- You really weren't kidding..." he muttered.

Kelly gave a loud snort. "Aw, c'mon. It's not that bad!" she exclaimed.

Marco rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah." he muttered. "Alright- So, what do we have to do? Just- uh... Pour it into his mouth?"

Kelly nodded. "Yep! But, uh- We should probably wake him up first. I'd rather not drown him in the stuff." she said.

Marco nodded. "Okay..." he muttered. "Hey, Buff Frog? Kelly's back with the medicine... We need you to wake up again for just a second..."

Buff Frog twitched a little, and then let out a low grumble.

Kelly thought for a moment. "...Hey, Buff Kids! Can help us out here?" she asked.

The Buff Kids quickly raced to the foot of Buff Frogs bed and began to hop and shout.

"Wake up, Daddy!"

"Daddy! Daddy! You gotta wake up!"

"Father! Awaken! I command it! MAKE IT SO!"

"Nadia! That's too loud! You'll make him deaf!"

"SILENCE!"

"That's not gonna work either, Nadia."

"Why must I suffer such foolishness!?"

"I am feeling like we are being off the track..."

"Yeah, guys! Listen to Mikhail! We gotta work together if we're gonna do this right!"

"Pfft- That's your answer for everything, Anya!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

As the Buff Kids began to argue amongst themselves, Buff Frogs face slowly began to twitch. Suddenly, Buff Frogs eyes fluttered open. "...Kids... No... Arguing..." he muttered. "Remember... No matter what our differences... We are still being... Family..."

The Buff Kids blinked in surprise but quickly shook it off. Their brief argument now completely forgotten, the Buff Kids began to hop and croak in excitement. "Daddy! Daddy! Kelly's got the medicine! You gotta drink it up!" they exclaimed, in near unison.

Buff Frog smiled a little and then blinked several times as he struggled to make out the blurry outlines standing in front of him. "...Is this... Karate Boy? Shrubbery Girl?" he mumbled. "...Somebody... Has made you... Very... Blurry..."

"Buff Frog! We need you to open wide and drink up a whole bunch of this medicine my parents whipped up!" said Kelly. "It'll make you feel better, I promise!"

Buff Frog gave a long, weary groan, and his eyes suddenly fluttered closed. Marco and Kelly shared a concerned look, while the Buff Kids quickly began chanting at their father. Begging him to wake up in as loud a voice they could muster. Which turned out to pretty loud, judging from the way the entire house seemed to tremble under the force of their collective voice.

All of a sudden, Buff Frog sat up. His eyes fluttered open once more, and he quickly yanked the cauldron away from Marco and Kelly. Everyone watched in stunned silence as Buff Frog lifted the enormous cauldron in the air, and then poured its contents into his mouth. After guzzling the contents of the cauldron in one long slurp, he threw it to the side and laid back down.

The cauldron landed with a loud thud. Marco and Kelly blinked and glanced at each other. Then, they watched as the thick green slime that covered Buff Frogs body began to congeal and fall off in clumps. And very quickly, his features began to brighten. The look of pain that had been etched on his face for the past several hours seemed to fade away. Replaced by a soft smile.

"WE DID IT!" exclaimed the Buff Kids, as they began to hop and cheer.

Kelly smiled. "Yeah... Looks like it." she muttered. "But- He's still gonna need some sleep. So... What do you say we all go out into the living room, huh? Maybe Karate Uncle can read us all a story while we wait for Buff Frog to wake up."

The Buff Kids gave another round of excited cheers. As they all rushed out of the room together, Marco noticed one of them trailing behind. It appeared to be Anastasia. The quiet one. Marco recognized her because for some reason, she had been wearing an eyepatch all day. As he watched her join her siblings, Marco couldn't help but scratch his head a little.

Something had seemed a little 'off' about Anastasia today. She was always quiet. But something felt about it felt... Different. She seemed distracted. And he had noticed her seem to flinch whenever he spoke to the Buff Kids as a group. Marco frowned a little and made a quick mental note to ask Kelly about it later.

"Marco? Are you coming?" asked Kelly, as she stood in the doorway.

Marco paused for a moment, and then slowly reached out to touch Buff Frogs forehead with his hand. As he felt Buff Frogs temperature begin to cool, he breathed a short sigh of relief before turning his gaze to Kelly.

"Yeah. Let's go." he said.

As he followed Kelly into the living room to entertain the Buff Kids, Marco smiled a little. Being around Kelly and the Buff Family always seemed to lift his spirits. And even though he still felt the same lingering sadness deep down- as he always did- in that moment, it felt... Manageable.

And as soon as he went back to Butterfly Castle, all of that would fall away. And he'd find himself alone in his bedroom again. Staring up at the sky, and feeling utterly miserable.

Marco took a slow, deep breath.

It had to stop. He had to put an end to this. Not just for his sake- but for Star's as well.

'...Tonight.' he thought. '...Tonight... I'll tell her. I'll do what I should've done in the first place... And put an end to this.'

---

Kelly sat on a couch made of mud, watching Marco with a slightly raised eyebrow and an amused smile. For a little while now, Marco had been growing increasingly anxious. It had started with a slight eye twitch every now and again. As time passed he began to mutter under his breath, and pace around the room. As the sun set over the land of Mewni, Marco seemed to be transitioning from having a 'Marco Moment', to a full on 'Marco Meltdown'.

None of that was what Kelly currently found so amusing of course. Although he did look a little cute when got all frazzled. No- what Kelly was smiling at was the small scene playing out in front of her in Buff Frogs living room. A few minutes ago, Marco had decided to try and teach the Buff Kids a few karate moves. No doubt in an attempt to distract himself from his increasing anxiety.

Unfortunately, all of the Buff Kids seemed to think that his 'karate' moves were actually 'dance' moves. And they had all been quick to bust out some dance moves of their own. After his third failed attempt to explain that karate was an art of self-defense and not an 'art of the dance' as one of the Buff Kids put it, Marco finally gave up. Sensing his frustration, the Buff Kids decided to take turns showing off their own dance moves. And it didn't take long for them to convince Marco to join them in giving every new dance move a try.

Kelly giggled softly as she watched Marco do the 'Hop Dance' with Alexi, followed by 'the Rubber Chicken Dance' with Dimitri and the 'Bouncy Ballet' with Anya. The natural grace and poise in Marco's movements was actually quite impressive. Especially for someone who was known to be pretty clumsy from time to time. But that didn't stop Kelly from giving an occasional snicker as she watched Marco struggle to keep up with the dancing Buff Kids.

Eventually, Marco noticed the near constant string of giggles coming from Kelly and shot her a look. "Hey- If you're not too busy amusing yourself, maybe you could come over here and show off some of your dance moves." he said, with his arms crossed over his chest.

Kelly gave a lazy shrug. "Eh- I'm good. Besides... It's more fun watching you flail around like that." she said, with a smirk.

Marco rolled his eyes. "You are such a Janna." he muttered.

Kelly gave a playful scoff. "Why, Marco Ubaldo Diaz- I'll have you know that I am a Kelly. Through and through." she said, adjusting her glasses as she spoke. "Besides- I'm still kinda tired from our little game of extreme hop-scotch."

Marco frowned. "...I still can't believe you tried to set up a ring of fire in the living room..." he muttered.

"That's what makes it extreme!" exclaimed both Kelly and the Buff Kids, in perfect unison.

Marco raised an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? Do I need to remind you about the fireworks incident? Or the 'juggling' incident? I still don't know how you managed to set fire to a house made mostly of wet mud..." he muttered.

"Those were all Nadia's fault! She's totally crazy!" exclaimed one of the Buff Kids.

Another one of the Buff Kids scoffed and shook its head. "That may be true, foolish sibling- but I hardly think my theatrical megalomania serves as proof of a misdeed in and of itself." it said.

Another one of the Buff Kids rolled its eyes. "You're wearing a shirt that says 'I Light Fires' right now!" it exclaimed.

"SILENCE! THIS PROVES NOTHING!"

As Kelly helped Marco to break up yet another argument between the young siblings, a loud hissing sound filled the air. It took a moment for Marco to realize what was making the sound. When he finally did, he let out a high pitched yelp and raced toward the kitchen.

"The stew!" he yelped, as he slid across the muddy floor. He was barely able to stop himself from crashing into the kitchen table, before spinning around to face the stove. The stove was a cast iron behemoth that Buff Frog had purchased some time ago. It wasn't quite what Marco was used to- but he dealt with it pretty well. Better than Buff Frog or Kelly, at least. Both of them had managed to fill the kitchen with fire and smoke on more than one occasion. One time, Buff Frog had even managed to make the stove erupt in a flurry of ice. Marco still wasn't quite sure how he had managed that. The only explanation that Buff Frog could offer was that he had been trying to make ice-cream.

Marco drew a sharp breath as he quickly slid his oven mitts on. There was a large pot sitting on the stove, its contents slowly bubbling up from under the lid and pouring down its side. Marco bit his lip as he slowly picked up the lid, and a burst of steam rose up from inside the pot. Staring down at the pots bubbling contents, Marco quickly retrieved a large metal spoon and began to gently stir it.

Meanwhile, Kelly's attempts to break up the Buff Kids argument seemed to have turned into a playful wrestling match- with almost all of the Buff Kids teaming up to crawl all over Kelly and tickle her. Kelly giggled as she quickly collapsed backwards into the mud. As the Buff Kids cheered in victory, Kelly wrapped as many of them as she could in her arms and gave them a squeeze. "You guys haven't won yet!" she exclaimed, as the Buff Kids gave a series of playful giggles and croaks.

As she played around with the Buff Kids, Kelly noticed one of them sitting beside the couch on its own. The lone Buff Kid was wearing an eyepatch, and sitting with its long legs crossed as it quietly stared down at the ground. Kelly frowned a little. She was just to open her mouth and say something when another Buff Kid suddenly hopped on top of Kelly's head.

"Ah-hah! I am now the ruler of Mount Shrubbery!" exclaimed the Buff Kid.

"Depose the ruler!" exclaimed another Buff Kid, who was quickly joined by a chorus of croaks. Before Kelly could so much as flinch, the Buff Kids that she had wrapped in her arms suddenly slid free and bounced up onto her head all at once. As the Buff Kids began to tussle amongst themselves on Kelly's head, many of them quickly found themselves tangled in her hair.

In the kitchen, Marco took a moment to give the stew a quick taste and give a small nod.

"Hey, everyone! Dinner's ready!" he announced, as he ducked down and extinguished the fire inside the stove.

The Buff Kids whooped, cheered and croaked as they immediately forgot what they were doing, and happily hopped over to the kitchen table. As Marco began to set out the bowls and spoons for everyone, Kelly slowly picked herself up and quietly shook the mud out of her hair.

"Wow, those kids could break the Mewni-wide record for 'Most Hyperactive'. Twitchy McSpasm better watch his back..." she muttered. As the Buff Kids bounced up to their seats around the table, Kelly's gaze slowly drifted back toward the couch. Sure enough, the Buff Kid with the eyepatch was still sitting beside the couch. It hadn't so much as moved a muscle.

Kelly approached the lone Buff Kid with a look of concern etched on her face. It wasn't that unusual to find a few Buff Kids breaking away from the group. At least not anymore. By now, the Buff Kids had each developed their own strong sense of individuality. And although they still preferred to hang out together as a group, that didn't stop them from going off to do their own thing every now and again.

Dimitri, for instance, had been known to make his way to a nearby comedy club called 'Croakers' whenever they held an open mic night. Sergei would disappear every now and again to perform what he called 'meditation rituals', which mostly involved dressing up in flowers and playing a bongo drum. Leo and Mikhail, the attached twins, would often stay out late playing something called 'Sludge Ball' with a few local young monsters. They were occasionally joined by Boris and Anya.

Kelly bit her lower lip as she crouched down in front of the lone Buff Kid. This was different. She could tell right away that this wasn't a case of a Buff Kid simply needing some 'alone' time. Something was clearly on it's mind. Every now and again, its features would tremble ever so slightly. Then, it would let out a quiet sigh and its tiny head-flippers would slowly droop.

Kelly softly cleared her throat, hoping to get the Buff Kids attention. When that failed, Kelly breathed a soft sigh.

"Hey-..." she began, before suddenly realizing that she didn't know the Buff Kids name. It had always been difficult to tell the Buff Kids apart. Even when they had started wearing their own accessories and dressing in tattered clothes, most of them still looked alike. Kelly paused for a moment to try and think. Suddenly, she remembered something that Marco had said several hours before.

"Keep an eye on Anastasia for me, will you? I think there's something bothering her... She's the slightly smaller one with the eyepatch. The quiet one."

Kelly frowned again and internally berated herself for letting what Marco had said slip her mind. Both she and Marco had been completely distracted by the twelve other loud, energetic Buff Kids all day. Kelly sighed and slowly shook her head. There was no use beating herself up about it. There would be time for that later. For now, she needed to help the troubled little Buff Kid.

"Anastasia?" she muttered. "Hey- Can you hear me down there? It's your Aunt Shrubbery, sweetheart."

Anastasia blinked slowly and flinched when she suddenly realized that she was being spoken too. With a slight tremble, Anastasia slowly craned her head upward to meet Kelly's concerned gaze. Anastasia's one exposed eye was filled with a mixture of fear and worry.

"...H-... Hello... Aunty..." she muttered, her voice almost inaudibly quiet. "...I-... I'm sorry... I was... Daydreaming again..."

Kelly felt her heart swell at the image of the lightly trembling Buff Kid struggling to speak. She had to resist the urge to scoop up the little creature right then and pull her into a long, warm hug.

"Sweetheart... You-... Well... You've seemed kinda distracted today... Is there something bothering you?" asked Kelly. "You know you can tell your Aunt Shrubbery anything... Right?"

Anastasia slowly opened her mouth to say something, only to suddenly let out a high pitched gasp and shrink back. Kelly blinked, as she turned to find Marco standing beside her. "Hey, dinner's all... Ready..." he said, trailing off mid-sentence as he suddenly realized that he had interrupted something.

Kelly shot Marco a frustrated frown, before turning her attention back to Anastasia. "Hey, now... It's okay. It's just 'Karate Uncle'. You know how he is- Always bounding in head first without ever stopping to read the atmosphere." she said, in a soft, gentle tone.

Marco rolled his eyes a little and bit back the urge to mutter something sarcastic in response. Quietly clearing his throat, Marco slowly knelt down next to Kelly and offered the young Buff Kid in front of him a friendly smile. "...Anastasia..." he muttered. "...I know there's been something bothering you... Your siblings have noticed too. Katrina has been really worried about you."

Anastasia trembled a little but kept her gaze trained downward as Marco spoke.

"Anastasia... You know that you have a lot of people who really love you... And care about you... Right?" asked Marco, his tone quiet and delicate. "There's your dad... All your siblings... And of course, me and Kelly. If there's something bothering you... You should share it with us. So that we can try to help."

Anastasia remained quiet, but it seemed that his words did manage to have some affect. At the very least, she seemed to have stopped trembling.

After pausing for a moment to let his words sink in, Marco continued. "...I know it can be hard. But you know... You don't need to shoulder everything on your own. You have people around you... People who'll help shoulder anything that starts weighing you down." he said. "You've just... You've just gotta trust them to help you. And the first step in doing that is telling one of 'em what it is that's bothering you. And look! Me and your Shrubbery Aunt happen to be right here!" he continued, his tone shifting into something more jovial, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Anastasia paused for a moment, and then slowly rose her head to meet Marco's gaze. Shifting her gaze from Marco's face to Kelly's, Anastasia gave another slight tremble as she took a deep breath.

"...Karate Uncle... I-... I forget..." she muttered, her voice still as quiet as ever. "...Are you-... Are you a 'Mewman'? Or-... Or something else?"

Her question caused both Marco and Kelly to freeze for a moment, before exchanging concerned looks.

"...Well, I'm actually a 'human'." said Marco. "That's a species that looks a lot like Mewmans on a surface level, but... We're actually from completely different dimensions."

Anastasia looked down for a moment. "...Are you sure?" she quietly muttered.

Marco nodded. "Yeah. You actually visited my dimension several months ago... Remember? You met some of my family?" he asked.

Anastasia frowned a little, and then slowly nodded. "...Yeah. I remember. ...So-... Those... Were all 'hu-mans'?" she asked.

Marco nodded again. "That's right." he said.

Anastasia slowly rubbed her little hands together and nodded. "...I see..." she muttered. After drifting off into her own thoughts for a moment, the quiet Buff Kid suddenly snapped her attention back to Marco and Kelly. Anastasia opened and closed her mouth a few times as if she were just about to say something and then suddenly thought better of it. Eventually, she breathed a slow sigh.

"...If-... If I tell you... You gotta promise me something..." muttered Anastasia. "...You gotta promise me that you won't tell Papa."

Marco and Kelly shared another concerned glance.

"...I dunno if we can promise that..." muttered Marco.

Anastasia flinched a little, and then slowly shook her head. "...Then I won't tell you. Or anybody else. Ever." she muttered.

Marco opened his mouth to say something, only to be stopped when Kelly suddenly placed a hand on his shoulder. Kelly gave Marco a look that told him to trust her. Turning her gaze over to Anastasia, Kelly quietly cleared her throat.

"...I tell you what, Anastasia... If you tell us what's going on... Then we'll promise not to tell Buff Frog unless we think its absolutely necessary. How about that?" asked Kelly.

Once again, Anastasia seemed to lose herself in thought. Eventually, she gave the tiniest of nods- before she slowly reached her hands up to her face and removed her eyepatch.

Marco grit his teeth, and Kelly gave a quiet gasp.

The eye that Anastasia had kept hidden underneath her eyepatch was swollen shut, with a long cut running across her eyelid. The bruise was around her eye was a dark purple, and it looked incredibly painful. Seeing the injury on the little Buff Kids eye sent a wave of protective instincts rushing through Marco and Kelly's veins in an instant.

"...What... What happened?" whispered Kelly.

Anastasia went quiet for a moment, as she slowly put her eyepatch back into place. "...Well..." she began, before feeling her voice hitch in her throat. Taking a deep breath, Anastasia did her best to push herself through the sudden burst of emotions that came flooding back to her as she recalled the incident.

"...A couple of weeks ago... I-... I took up a job as a newspaper girl... To try and help out Papa a little bit..." said Anastasia, her voice trembling a little as she spoke. "...All I had to do was hop around the swamp and deliver some papers to a couple of the neighbors. I-... I actually really liked that job... Because... Because it made me feel like I was doing something... Good. Everyone else... They've got a bunch of stuff that they're good at... But I-... I don't..."

The little Buff Kids head-flippers drooped down on the sides of her head as she spoke, her voice filled with emotion. "...But-... But doin' that little job... Made me think that maybe... Maybe I could do somethin' as well... Even if it's not something as cool as becoming 'Monster President' like Katrina wants to..." she continued. "For the first time... I began to think that maybe... I'd be able to find something... Something like what all my brothers and sisters have... A vision of the future... Even if it's just somethin' small..."

Anastasia let out a small sniffle and quickly rubbed at her 'good' eye with her hand before continuing. "...So... Anyway..." she muttered, doing her very best to hold herself together. In one quick movement, Kelly suddenly plucked the little Buff Kid up from the floor and set her down on her lap. Immediately, Anastasia felt a burst of warmth as Kelly held her close.

Taking a shaky breath, Anastasia took a moment to enjoy the incredible warmth emanating from Kelly's bright purple, Anastasia took another breath. This one much steadier than the first.

"...I was... I was going down my usual route just this morning..." said Anastasia, her voice suddenly filled with a newfound resolve. "When... I heard a bunch of strangers approach. So, I did what I always do- and hid behind a big tree. Just in case it was a slimy snake or somethin'..."

"But then... I heard voices. Loud, happy voices. They were all laughin' and stuff. So... I took a peek... And-... Well... They were Mewmans. Real big ones. Dressed in fancy, shiny clothes. They had swords and helmets and stuff... Just like they do in Papa's board games, and in the storybooks..." said Anastasia. "Papa had always told me to avoid Mewman's like those... But-... Well... We're friends with Princess Butterfly, right? And she's... Well- she's the princess. If she's not bad, then... Then those guys couldn't be either. At least... That's what I thought."

Marco slowly felt his hands ball into fists, and Kelly slowly tightened her hold on Anastasia. Both of them already knew what was coming. They felt it right away. Still, they let Anastasia continue to speak.

"...I-... I've always been... Really shy... Some of my siblings tease me about it sometimes..." muttered Anastasia. "...So-... So I thought I'd try... And prove them wrong. Prove that-... Prove that I'm not just the 'quiet one'. Prove that I can make friends too- just like Katrina and Leo... But-..."

Anastasia began to tremble again. Much harder than before. As tears began to well up in her eyes, Kelly quietly stroked the little Buff Kid on the back and whispered that everything would be okay. After taking a moment to collect herself as best she could, Anastasia continued.

"...They started yelling." she muttered. "They were all... They were all really... Disgusted... And-... And they screamed that at me a whole lot. H-how... How I was a gross... Wretched... Monster... Then-... Then, one of them stood up in front of them... He was laughing really hard... Then-... He just stopped. And he gave me this look... It was the scariest look I've ever seen... It was just... It was full of... Hate... He-... The man... He hated me... More than I've ever seen anyone hate anything."

She shuddered again, and a few tears began to roll down her cheeks as she recalled the man's face.

"Then... He said that I was-... I was disgusting... That I was like a disease on the land of Mewni..." she continued. "I-... I tried to speak up- and... And... That was when he picked up a rock and... Threw it. It-... It hit me in the eye... And... I started to cry. The man... He walked up to me... Laughing again... And he pulled out this big sword... Saying that... He was gonna... Kill me."

By now, both Marco and Kellys expressions were neutral as they tried desperately not to let Anastasia see the white-hot rage bubbling inside them. But even with all the efforts they made to keep their composure, nothing could hide the fire burning in their eyes.

"Then- there was a loud noise nearby. All of the Mewmans suddenly froze- and I... I just turned around and ran. The Mewmans yelled some other stuff at me, but... I... I didn't really hear it." said Anastasia. "...I just... I ran. Everyone else was asleep in our room... So I-... I just buried my face into my pillow and cried. For-... For hours..."

There was a long, pregnant pause between the three of them as Marco and Kelly seemed to process everything they had just heard. Eventually, the silence was broken by Anastasia's quiet voice.

"Eventually... I-... I took a spare eyepatch outta Boris' big bag of costumes to hide my eye... Because... I didn't want anyone to know." she said. "And... And I still don't."

Kelly frowned. "...Why?" she muttered.

"...Because. If-... If you tell Papa... Or my siblings... I just know... That they'll do something... Crazy. And-... And those guys... They were... They were Royal Knights. From Butterfly Castle itself. If-... If they try and take them on or somethin'... They'll get hurt. Or worse. Plus... It'd ruin Papa's job as the official 'Monster Expert'." said Anastasia. "Working with the princess... And helping her with all of that complicated stuff about Monsters and Mewmans... It means everything to him. And-... And if he does something... Because of me... Then-... It could ruin everything."

Another moment of silence passed, as both Kelly and Marco momentarily lost themselves in thought. Marco was the one to break the silence this time, doing his best to keep his tone as neutral as possible as he spoke.

"...They were... Royal knights?" he muttered, not doing a particularly good job of keeping his tone free of emotion.

Anastasia gave a slow nod. "...Uh-huh... They were dressed in fancy, shiny armor... And-... And they bragged about being the most powerful warriors in Butterfly Castle... 'Royal Knights'..." she muttered. "...Th-... The one that threw the rock, and-... And tried to... Kill me... He-... His armor was golden... And-... And he said-... That he was a legendary hero of Mewni. That-... That his sword had once slain a magic dragon... And-... And he said a bunch more stuff as well... I think-... I think he really liked hearing himself talk."

Kelly suddenly froze. Her eyes widened, as she looked down at Anastasia. "...What-... What did this Knight look like? Do you remember, sweetheart?" she asked, doing her best to keep her voice as soft and gentle as it was before.

Anastasia shuddered for a moment and then gave a small nod. "...Yes. His armor... Was all gold... And he had a long silver beard with jewelry in it..." she muttered.

Kelly's face quickly formed into a deep frown. Marco shot her a curious look and Kelly quietly mouthed his the words 'I'll tell you later'.

All of a sudden, Kelly stood herself up- carefully holding Anastasia in her arms as she did so. Anastasia gave a small croak in surprise at the sudden movement.

"...Alright. Thank you for telling us that, Anastasia." said Kelly. "And listen... I promise you- everything is going to be fine. Your honorary Aunt and Uncle are gonna make sure of that."

"...Are you... Are you gonna tell Papa?" muttered Anastasia, her one uncovered eye filled with worry.

Kelly smiled. "Don't you worry. Like I said... We won't tell him unless it's absolutely necessary. And I meant that." she said, before shooting Marco a quick glance.

Marco thought for a moment and then gave Anastasia a reassuring nod. "...Yeah. Like Kelly said. Not unless it's absolutely necessary. Now-... How about you come take a seat and have some dinner? There should still be some left over... I'll quickly heat it up if I have top." he said. "And if you and your siblings all finish it, how about I treat you all to some special Earth style dessert."

Anastasia suddenly perked up in Kelly's arms. "Earth dessert? Really?" she exclaimed. "That stuff's always amazing!"

Marco smiled. "Yeah. Really." he said.

As Kelly brought Anastasia over to the table with her siblings, the little Buff Kid did her best to wipe away any tears left on her face with Kelly's sweater. After she had been placed in her seat, Marco was quick to reheat a portion of the stew for her, while the other Buff Kids played and argued amongst themselves. Some of them were hopping on their chairs, while others were hopping on the table.

Once Anastasia was finished with her meal, Marco retrieved his interdimensional scissors and disappeared into a portal. When he came back, he was holding an armful of over a dozen ice-cream sandwiches. All of the Buff Kids- Anastasia included- croaked with delight as they ate their Earth desserts.

After dessert, Marco and Kelly spent the next hour slowly corralling the Buff Kids into their beds. Eventually, they relented when Marco offered to read them a story. After reading a particularly long story from an old looking storybook, the Buff Kids slowly began to fall asleep- one by one.

Kelly made sure to quietly tuck the sheets over each one of the Buff Kids as Marco read from the book, and gave Anastasia's sleeping form a gentle caress. Once they were sure that they were asleep, Marco and Kelly left the Buff Kids bedroom and made their way back to the living room.

Without saying a word to each other, they exchanged glances, and then shared a nod. Buff Frog was still asleep, and it didn't look like he was going to wake up until morning. And the Buff Kids were all asleep.

But their day wasn't finished just yet. They still had one last thing to take care of.

They were going to go pay the Royal Knights a visit.

---

Higgs breathed a long, heavy sigh. For as long as she could remember, she had dreamed of one day becoming one of the legendary knights of Mewni. For someone born in the lowest slums of the kingdom, that had always seemed like a near-impossible dream. But a few years ago, she was given a chance. It had taken a lot of begging- and even some downright harassment. But after proving time and time again that she was completely devoted to her dream, she was finally christened a squire by none other than the legendary Sir Stabby.

Sir Stabby was in the top ten of the Royal Knights ranking boards, and she couldn't be more proud to be serving under a man of such incredible esteem. Unfortunately, being a squire had more than a few drawbacks. For one thing, it was a well-known custom among the knights to treat their squires as terribly as possible at all times. It was supposedly meant to help 'toughen up' the squires, and ready them for their duties as a knight.

Higgs couldn't help but think that the 'toughening them up' idea was just an excuse made up by some particularly sadistic knight a few hundred years ago. Luckily, Sir Stabby wasn't anywhere near as mean as some of the knights she had heard stories about. The worst he ever did was take her for granted- and occasionally make her carry him home when he had one too many at the local tavern.

From what she had heard, she was actually pretty lucky compared to some of the Squires of the past. But that didn't stop her from complaining whenever she got a moment to herself.

Higgs breathed a long, heavy sigh as she leaned against the wall behind her. For the past several hours, she had been standing by the entrance to the Royal Knights Headquarters. An enormous, beautiful building attached directly to Butterfly Castle. It was made out of a hard white stone and decorated with large pieces of armor all over the outside. Apparently, it had become something of a Mewman tradition for a retiring knight to attach a piece of their armor to the building. So that even after they left the knighthood, some part of them would always be there to help protect the heart of Mewni's defense force.

It was a sweet tradition. Unfortunately, the Knights also had a tradition of sending squires out to stand guard at the entrance of the building for often unreasonable amounts of time. Supposedly, this was to help prepare the young squires for all the standing around and guarding stuff that came with being a knight. This was one of the few practices that Higgs actually could believe had some actual merit. But that didn't make it any less annoying.

"...Ugh... The night shift is such a drag..." she muttered, as a cold breeze swept across her face.

Time passed by very slowly as she stood at her post by the entrance to the headquarters of the Royal Knights. Eventually, she found herself staring up into the night sky, watching in silence as the stars twinkled brilliantly above. Higgs drew a long, deep breath as another cool breeze swept across her face.

"...Well... I guess... On the bright side... I finally get a little bit of peace and quiet..." she muttered.

As if on cue, her moment of silence was suddenly interrupted by a loud ripping sound. In an instant, Higgs snapped to attention as a big glowing portal suddenly opened up on the pathway in front of her. Higgs grit her teeth and placed her hand on the hilt of her sword as she watched two figures emerge from the portal.

One of them, she recognized. Marco Diaz, the so-called 'Squire' of the princess. He looked a little taller than she remembered, but otherwise, he looked exactly the same. He was even wearing the same stupid blue cape that he had been wearing during their encounter at Quest Buy. As he stepped out of the portal, his cape fluttered in the wind as if for dramatic effect.

Higgs did not recognize the girl standing next to him. Her was was a greenish blue color, and it was also puffy and enormous. It was tied into a big ponytail, but that didn't stop it from almost touching the ground. The girl was wearing a large pair of glasses, that she constantly had to slide back up her face because she had no nose for them to rest upon. She was also wearing a sparkling purple sweater with the words 'Ultimate Warrior' emblazoned across the chest in big white letters, along with a pair of long black pants and purple shoes.

Higgs slowly raised an eyebrow, as she watched Marco close the portal behind them and start walking towards her.

"Well, well... If it isn't the princesses little servant. What're you doing here?" asked Higgs, as she crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. "Are you here on an errand or something? Or are you just here to humiliate yourself all over again?"

Marco stared at her for a moment. "...Uh-... Do I know you?" he muttered.

Higgs twitched a little as she recognized the genuine confusion in his voice. "...No." she growled. "But I know you. You're the deluded moron that's always following the princess around and acting like that somehow makes you a squire. When it doesn't. Because being a squire actually requires a lot of hard word and-"

Marco sighed and rolled his eyes. "Wait- never mind." he said, interrupting her mid-sentence. "I remember you now. We met at Quest Buy during that whole 'Squire Blowout Sale' thing..." he continued, frowning a little at the memory. "Look- I don't have time to argue with you. Kelly and I have some business with the Royal Knights. So- if you'll excuse us..."

Marco moved to walk past her, only to have Higgs quickly block his path. "No way." she growled. "The Royal Knights are having a meeting right now, and it's my job to make sure they're not interrupted."

Marco breathed a heavy sigh. "Look... This is important, okay? Just let us through and-... I dunno... I'll owe you or something..." he muttered.

Higgs rolled her eyes and huffed. "Oh, please. There's nothing I could ever want from some pathetic joke who has no idea what it means to be a real Squire." she growled. "I don't want anything from you, or your new girlfriend- except for you both to leave."

Marco and Kelly blinked in unison, glanced at each other and then blinked again.

"We're not like that." said Marco.

Kelly nodded. "Yeah- Marco here is head over heels for a different girl. It's a whole thing." she said. Marco flashed her an annoyed look, and Kelly responded with a small, playful smirk.

Higgs stared at Marco for a moment and then gave a light chuckle. That chuckle quickly turned into a bout of uproarious laughter. "Hahaha! Oh, man! You're in love with the Princess, aren't you!? Oh- That's priceless!" she exclaimed. "Oh, wow- That's... That's just so pathetic that I-... Aw, man- I almost feel sorry for you! Hahahaha!"

Higgs continued to laugh for a solid few minutes. Her laughter died down slowly, but when it finally did- she found herself standing all by herself again. Higgs blinked a few times, as she suddenly realized that she had just let them both slip past her. All of a sudden, all of the color drained from her face as she felt her heart sink into the pit of her chest.

"...Damn it." she muttered.

Higgs had spent her entire career as a Squire doing her best to never make a mistake. Because she knew that the minute she did... One of the knights would use it as an excuse to take everything away from her. And... She had just made a mistake.

Higgs grit her teeth and took off down the hall to follow them. Hoping against hope that she'd find them before they managed to interrupt the Royal Knights meeting. But as she ran, she couldn't ignore a familiar sinking feeling in her chest... The feeling that everything was about to go very wrong.

---

"How about, 'Let's party all Knight long!'?" asked Kelly, as she and Marco raced down the long halls of the Royal Knights Headquarters.

"...I dunno... It doesn't really make a lotta sense..." muttered Marco.

"It doesn't have to make sense! It's a punny one-liner! They're supposed to not make any sense!" exclaimed Kelly.

"I feel like the best one-liners make at least a little bit of sense." said Marco. "Besides- We're not gonna need any one-liners because I don't plan on making this turn into some kinda full-scale brawl. We're just gonna find the knights who hurt Anastasia... And get them to apologize."

"And when he refuses?" asked Kelly.

"Well, then you can bust out the one-liners." said Marco.

"Sounds good. Now! How about 'Welcome to the Knight shift! It's a-joust time you face your pun-ishment!" exclaimed Kelly.

Marco groaned a little. "Oh, wow. You've been hanging around Dimitri too much." he muttered.

Kelly scoffed. "I'll have you know that I've been studying the art of pun-fu for much longer than little Dimitri has. Heck, he even comes to me for pointers every now and again! We're comedy comrades!" she exclaimed.

"Thanks for the warning..." Marco muttered, with a small grin.

Eventually, when it looked like they weren't being chased by Higgs or any other guards, Marco and Kelly slowed down to walk. "Where do you think the Royal Gaurds'll be having their meeting?" muttered Marco, as he walked by a wall of enormous tapestries depicting the knights of Mewni's past.

Kelly shrugged. "I figure we just keep an eye out for some big, fancy looking door. The fancier the door, the more important the room'll be. It's just one those Multiversal truths, y'know?"

"...Not really, but I'll take your word for it." said Marco.

Marco and Kelly kept walking for a while, their footsteps echoing throughout the halls as they walked by several enormous displays featuring different weaponry that had been used by the Royal Knights throughout history. Most of it was hanging on the walls, while the bigger weapons sat inside large glass cases.

As they passed by another row of tapestries, Marco suddenly froze. One of the tapestries was bigger than all the rest. So big, in fact, that it seemed to spread across most of the wall. The enormous tapestry depicted a field of slaughtered monsters, with none other than Mina Loveberry standing in the middle of the carnage. She was either screaming or laughing- it was hard to tell.

"Hey! Marco! I think I found our big, fancy door!" exclaimed Kelly.

Marco blinked, as he turned to find Kelly standing in front of a large silver door. The door had tiny golden rivets sticking out across the door in long lines from one corner to the other, in the shape of an 'X'. In the space above where the lines of the 'X' met, there was a golden knights helmet embedding in the door. Underneath the helmet was a plaque that read 'Royal Knights Meeting Area'. Underneath the plaque was a small yellow sticky note that read 'No Squires allowed!'. It appeared to have been hastily scrawled in red pen, with several exclamation marks drawn as swords- along with a few skull and crossbones.

Marco took a deep breath and used his cape to wipe the sweat from his forehead. He had retrieved the old 'squire cape' from it's hiding place under his bed, hoping that the cape would make the knights recognize that he was the princesses squire.

He had retrieved his old 'squire cape' from it's hiding place under his bed for one reason. He had hoped that it would help the knights recognize him as the princesses squire, and thus make things run a little smoother than they would if they thought that he was just some random Mewman from off the street. Unfortunately, after seeing Higg's reaction at the entrance, he was no longer quite so sure that the cape would achieve its desired effect.

Marco breathed a heavy sigh. '...Maybe I should've tried to get Star...' he thought, before quickly shaking his head. 'No... Kelly and I can do this. Besides... She's-... She's probably busy. Plus... She'd probably wind up getting in big trouble with her Mom if she suddenly started clashing with the Royal Knights... Even if some of them probably deserve it...'

Marco took a deep breath. 'Alright. We're just gonna go in there... And see if we can get them to apologize. If they refuse... Well- maybe then we can get Star involved. If she hears about what happened... Well, they'll definitely be made to regret their actions. I'm sure of that, at least.'

"Okay..." muttered Marco, before turning to Kelly. "Are you ready?"

Kelly nodded. "I'm ready-Kelly." she exclaimed, with a spark of fierce determination in her eyes.

Marco rolled his eyes a little and smiled. "Good." he muttered.

The room itself was enormous and dimly lit. There were a few torches hanging from the walls, giving the room a flickering orange glow. In the middle of the room sat a large diamond-shaped table, where all the knights were sitting dressed in bulky, intimidating armor.

In the middle of the room, all of the knights were sitting at a large diamond-shaped table. All of the knights were dressed in heavy armor, with only a few of them sitting with their helmets in their laps. The ceiling directly above the table appeared to have been turned into a mural of some kind. Depicting enormous, multi-colored butterflies fluttering around in some kind of majestic dance. It was quite impressive, even when it was barely visible in the weak orange glow.

For a little while, Marco and Kelly simply stood at the doorway in awkward silence when all of the knights stared at them. Finally, Marco weakly cleared his throat.

"...Ahem. My name is Marco Ubaldo Diaz. And I have some business with at least one of you Royal Knights." he said, as he slowly scanned the many different knights that were sitting at the table. Almost every knight was wearing the same kind of grey plated armor. There were only three knights wearing armor that looked different from the rest, and they were all sitting together at one end of the table.

Marco grit his teeth a little, as he recalled what Kelly had told him before they had left Buff Frogs swamp.

The Royal Knights were led by the three most powerful warriors in all of Mewni. The Knight in crimson red armor with a helmet designed to resemble the horns of a demon was known as 'Demonicus the Eerie'. It was apparently a well-known folk tale among the people of Mewni that Demonicus' armor had turned red because she bathed in the blood of her enemies. Which, of course, made absolutely no sense whatsoever. But it made her seem scary nonetheless.

The Knight dressed in light blue armor with a helmet that had what appeared to be a dark blue mohawk sticking out of it was none other than Lavabo of the Wash. Also known as Lavabo the Resilient. Apparently, Lavabo was the least popular of the three because most of his achievements involved laundry. Even his well-known tussle with one of the most dangerous creatures in the Multiverse was mostly disregarded because the creature in question was essentially an angry ball of string.

Marco gave Lavabo a small, awkward wave. To which Lavabo happily waved back, before removing his helmet just to give Marco a bright, friendly smile.

The knight sitting between Demonicus and Lavabo wore golden armor, and his crown was designed to resemble a royal crown. Both his armor and helmet were decorated with dozens of jewels that varied in size and color. He was the so-called 'leader' of the Royal Knights. The current most powerful warrior in Mewni, outside of the Royal Butterfly family.

The Golden Knight. Jerkius. The Legendary Slayer of Magic Dragons, and Hero to all of Mewni. Known also as Jerkius the Golden, Jerkius the Almighty and Jerkius the Magnificent.

Marco frowned. This was the knight that had injured Anastasia. The knight that may well have murdered her that day... Marco could already feel his blood begin to boil at the thought of it. Anastasia couldn't have been too far from home when the incident happened. What if the golden knight and his little group of followers had stumbled upon Buff Frogs swamp? What would have happened then?

Marco took a deep breath. There was no way he would let that happen. No matter how intimidating it was to be stared down by a room full of Royal Knights, he absolutely had to take a stand. He and Kelly shared a quick glance, and then a nod. Marco opened his mouth to speak once more- only to be interrupted by a deep, thunderous voice.

"Who was it that was supposed to be standing guard tonight?" the voice boomed.

Every knight other than Lavabo and Demonicus shuddered at the sound of the voice, as Jerkius slammed his golden plated fist on the table. "Sir Stabby!? Was it not you who professed to me your belief that your peasant Squire would be able to perform such a simple task with ease!?" he exclaimed. "Why is it then that we find ourselves interrupted by vermin from outside of our Kingdom!?"

Lavabo calmly ran his fingers through his long grey beard. "Sir Jerkius... This boy standing before us is none other than the princesses personal squire. And I believe that the girl standing next to him is one of her close personal friends." he said, his voice measured and calm. "I see no problem in having them visit us- although it might have been but a smidgen more polite of them to knock first..."

Demonicus muttered something unintelligible from inside her helmet.

Lavabo nodded. "Yes, yes- I agree. It's not as if they were really interrupting anything. Didn't you just say that our little meeting was drawing to a close, Sir Jerkius?"

Jerkius made a noise that sounded like a cross between a scoff and a growl. "I care not about their supposed 'closeness' to the royal princess! What matters here is that Sir Stabby's peasant girl was unable to fulfill her Squirely duties!" he boomed. "I've given warning after warning! Do not allow mere street urchins to step within our sacred halls! This is yet more proof of a most foolish decision!"

Sir Stabby sat across the table from Jerkius with his helmet in his lap. As Jerkius bellowed at him, Sir Stabby kept his gaze trained on the table in front of him.

"I demand that you remove that wretched peasant girl from your Squireship immediately!" roared Jerkius. "We have no need for such uselessness!"

Lavabo looked over at Sir Stabby for a moment and then turned his attention back toward Jerkius. "Now, now... The Lady Higgs has proven herself time and time again to be one of the most dedicated Squires of this generation. There is no need to be quite so hasty." he said.

Once again, Jerkius made a noise that sounded like a cross between a scoff and a growl. "Keep your bleeding heart to yourself, Sir Lavabo. The is a matter of honor! For all of us! We do not need peasants in our ranks!" he exclaimed, before turning his attention toward Marco and Kelly. "And why are those two still standing there? Why have they not been escorted from the premises by now!?"

Lavabo sighed. "...Sir Jerkius, I hesitate to repeat myself, but-"

Jerkius slammed his fist on the table, cutting Lavabo off mid-sentence. "As do I, Sir Lavabo. Yet here we are." he growled. "I do not care what relationship they have to the royal princess- neither of them are Mewman. That so-called squire is from another dimension. And the big-haired girl is a dirty forest dweller."

Marco and Kelly stiffened as Jerkius turned his attention to them. "I know very well who you two are. I suppose you're part of the reason that the Princess has become obsessed with such foolish things recently." he said. "I warned the Queen against allowing the young princess to go off galavanting with non-Mewmans... It's no wonder that the young Princess has become so thoroughly misguided."

Kelly breathed a heavy sigh. "Wow. Y'know, I'd heard some of the rumors about you..." she said as she met Jerkius' gaze with her own. "But even I'm kinda surprised at how much your name really suits you."

Lavabo quietly hid his smile behind his hand. Across the table, Sir Stabby gave a loud snort as he struggled to do the same. Half of the other knights seemed quietly amused, while the other half began to shoot Kelly dirty looks and mutter angrily amongst themselves.

"Watch your tongue, forest-dweller." growled Jerkius. Some of the knights nodded along with him, while others took it a step further.

"Yeah! You're talkin' to a Royal Knight, you weird- uh... Whatever you are!" exclaimed one of the knights.

"Yeah! Go back to your forest! And take the dumb lookin' kid along with you!" exclaimed another.

"Non-Mewman trash!" bellowed another.

"I love your hair! And that sweater really suits you!"

The knights who had begun to taunt and jeer Kelly suddenly paused, and looked began to look around amongst themselves. "Hey? Who said that? Lady Sweetheart, was that you?" one of them yelled.

"What? I prefer to be positive! You got some kinda problem with that? 'Cuz I'll happily rip out your eyes and make you eat 'em if you like!"

"...Wha-... What's so positive about that?"

"I'm 'positive' that I'll enjoy it!"

As some of the knights began to squabble, Kelly breathed a heavy sigh. "...This, uh... This isn't going super well... Is it, Marco?" she muttered.

Marco gave her a weary shrug. "...Well, to be honest- It's going about the way I expected it to go..." he muttered. "Actually, if anything- it's going a lot smoother than I thought it might... I mean- No one's even threatened to execute us yet."

"Off with their heads!"

Marco sighed. "...Spoke too soon." he muttered.

Suddenly, Marco felt something tug at his cape. At first, he thought it was Kelly teasing him again. Marco quickly turned to face her, ready to accuse her once again of being a 'total Janna'. Only to pause when he noticed that Kelly's hands were by her sides. Blinking a few times, Marco looked back at his cape, to find it being lightly tugged by something just outside the doorway. Marco glanced over at Kelly and gestured to her to follow him as he slowly stepped out of the doorway.

Leaning with her back against the wall, with the corner of Marco's cape clutched in her hand, was Higgs.

"What in the Underworld are you two doing!?" she hissed. "You two just gate-crashed a meeting of the Royal Knights! I could lose my Squireship for this! And you two could lose a whole lot more!"

Marco frowned and quickly tugged his cape out of her grip. "...I have business with 'Sir Jerkius'." he muttered. "He hurt a friend of mine."

Higgs blinked a few times. "Wha-what? That makes no sense! Sir Jerkius is a Royal Knight! Heck, he's the Royal General. He took over after Mina Loveberry lost her marbles... He's got better things to do than going around harassing your little friends or whatever."

"Our friend is a monster." said Kelly.

Higgs froze. Her eyes widened and seemed to twitch a little before she quickly shook it off. "Then just be glad that he didn't kill her- okay?" she said. "Now- why don't you two just scurry on outta here while everyone's having one of their dumb arguments? You've probably got a good hour or two before it starts to die down- and by then, I'm sure most of 'em will have forgotten who you are."

Marco shook his head. "No. Not gonna happen." he said.

"Will you just listen to me you moron? I am trying to help you! You! The person who's probably already cost me everything I've ever worked for!" growled Higgs, as she grabbed him by the front of his hoodie and pulled him closer. "Do you know how much I had to work to just to become a Squire? Let alone afterwards! I barely ever get to see my family, and I never get time to just hang around and goof off like you do! You've got no idea!" Higgs spoke through clenched teeth as she gripped at Marco's hoodie until her knuckles went white.

Marco frowned. "...Maybe your right, Higgs. Maybe I don't know what it's like to be a Squire like you do. But what I do know is... That I'm not gonna let that guy get away with hurting my friends. Especially if there's a chance he'll come by them again... And try to kill them... Just for being monsters." he said

Higgs breathed a long, heavy sigh. As she did, her breath seemed to tremble ever so slightly. Finally, she slowly relaxed her grip on Marco's hoodie and pulled her hands away. "...Fine. Whatever. Just know that doing this without your princess around... It's dumb. Your gonna get yourselves killed." she muttered.

Marco stared at her for a moment. "...Yeah... Maybe." he muttered. As he turned to leave, Marco suddenly paused. "...By the way... I'll make sure that you don't lose your Squireship because of us. Even if I have to call in a favor with the Queen. I promise."

With that, Marco walked back into the room. Not noticing the look of complete shock on Higgs' face.

Kelly smiled a little as she watched Marco walk back into the room filled with loud, angry voices. "...I dunno what kinda person you think he is..." said Kelly, as she turned her attention toward Higgs. "...But you're wrong. Marco works really hard... Especially for Star. And it's not just 'cuz he's in love with her. He's... Well-... He's a good guy, y'know?"

Higgs breathed another heavy, shaky sigh. "...Maybe. But frankly, I still don't really buy it." she muttered.

Kelly laughed a little and rolled her eyes. "You don't really trust people, huh? Is it because he's a so-called 'outsider'?" she asked.

Higgs shook her head. "No. I didn't even know that until just now..." she muttered.

Kelly smiled a little, as her eyes grew wistful. "...Y'know... When I was a little girl, I'd always sorta dreamed of being a Knight someday. I used to train for it and everything. I musta trained every day for years... I saved up all my money and took a stagecoach to this very place. The Royal Knights Headquarters. But... Guess what?"

Higgs flinched a little, and her gaze fell to the floor. "...Non-Mewmans aren't allowed..." she muttered.

Kelly gave a slow nod. "Yep. It, uh... It kinda broke my heart. But y'know what? Afterwards... I realized something. All the things that're supposed to come with knighthood... 'Glory'... 'Honor'... 'Adventure'... You can find those things yourself. And you don't even have to do it alone. You can bring your friends along for the journey as well." said Kelly. "...Star was one of the people who taught me that. Along with a whole bunch of others... Including Marco."

Higgs said nothing. She simply kept her eyes glued to the floor.

Kelly smiled a little. "...Good luck, Squire-girl. I hope someday... All your hard work pays off." she said. "Also-... Quit being such a jerk to Marco. Or I'll find you and personally tar and feather you. I've got a friend from another dimension who would absolutely love to help."

With a sly 'maybe I'm joking or maybe I'm not' wink, Kelly turned around and followed Marco back into the room.

The arguing among the knights got progressively louder until Jerkius suddenly stood up and slammed his fist against the table once more. The entire room was filled with a thunderous 'bang', as the table trembled under the force of his golden plated fist. In an instant, everyone was sitting in their seats again. All sitting straight and silent as Jerkius glowered over them.

"Well then... If you are all finished with your childish squabbling... How about we have ourselves a quick little vote..." said Jerkius. "Those of you in favor of a suitable punishment for these trespassers... Raise your hands. And all who are opposed... Well- I'm sure there'll be room for you to join them at the executioner's block..."

Lavabo frowned. "...Jerkius. I know very well about your... 'Feelings' towards those you see as 'outsiders'... But do you not that you are being hasty? I'll have you know that the boy has not only proven himself to me- but he was also instrumental in saving our royal family from an invading force. The monster known as Toffee. And need I remind you that we knights were of very little help during that little escapade." he said.

Jerkius scoffed. "You were of little help- because you were off fighting soap demons and fabric freaks in the Dimension of Washing..." he growled.

Marco blinked and slowly scratched his head. 'I-... I honestly don't know if that's supposed to be sarcasm, or if that's an actual thing...' he thought.

"My team... Along with myself... Were off defending the border from those wretched snow-trolls." Jerkius continued. "And when I got back, what did I find? Total and utter chaos! Part of the palace had been reduced to ashes! And where were you, Demonicus? Sleeping?"

Demonicus very slowly turned to face Jerkius, and once again muttered something unintelligible.

It should not have been possible to see Jerkius shudder and sweat considering the fact that he was fully decked out in armor. But as Demonicus turned her gaze toward him, that was exactly what Kelly and Marco saw.

Jerkius nervously cleared his throat. "I- I mean... My apologies, Lady Demonicus... I-... I did not mean to pry..." he whimpered. As Demonicus turned back around in her seat, Jerkius took a moment to shudder again before quickly pulling himself back together. "The rest of you..." he muttered, doing his best to regain the steam that he had so abruptly lost. "What of the rest of you? Beaten by an army of rats and a levitation spell? And what was the pathetic excuse given? That you had been awake for several days partying with the King? What utter foolishness." he growled. "The name of the Royal Knights has already been irrevocably scarred. I will not have anyone else add to that humiliation. Especially not some filthy non-Mewmans."

Lavabo breathed a heavy sigh and slowly shook his head. "...Jerkius..." he muttered, his tone drifting somewhere between wistful and sad.

"Hey!"

All of the knights, including Jerkius, Demonicus and Lavabo suddenly turned their attention back to the doorway. Kelly blinked in surprise as she watched Marco march forward, his cape fluttering behind him as he approached the table.

"Look- First of all, I didn't do anything to help with Toffee. Okay?" he growled. "That was all Star. And Star happens to love non-Mewmans. She's dating one, as a matter of fact. Tom Lucitor, the Prince of the Demons. In case you didn't already know."

Jerkius huffed and growled. "Please. Many princesses flirt with such foolishness at some stage or another. It will pass." he said.

Marco frowned. "No. No it won't. Star is going to change this whole Kingdom. And I know she can do it, too. Because she's already changed me- and one my close friends. Who happens to be a monster, by the way."

At this several knights seemed to gasp, and quickly began to murmur amongst themselves.

Jerkius gave a long, dry laugh. Completely hollow of any emotion, sarcastic or otherwise. "Oh, I see. So you're a monster-hugger, is that it? So I suppose the Princesses truly has been tainted by an outsider." he growled.

Marco rolled his eyes. "Oh, give me a break..." he muttered. "Star wants to make Mewni a better place because ultimately that's who she is. Even if she had never met me- she would have figured out for herself that the way Mewmans treat monsters is wrong. I know it. Just like I know that she's going to be the one who changes everything in Mewni for the better. Because she's the most powerful person I'll ever know- in more ways than one."

"Which brings me to why I'm here." Marco continued. "You and a few of your thugs hurt someone I care about recently." he said, before glancing over at Kelly. As he did, he also noticed Higgs peeking out from the doorway. "Someone we care about." he added, before turning his attention back to Jerkius. "And not just Kelly and I- but Star as well. And the only reason I didn't bring her along with us is because she'd probably tear you all apart. And even I can't be sure if I mean that literally or figuratively."

Once again, Jerkius let out a scoff and growl. It was beginning to seem like it was his signature noise or something.

"If the princess has a problem with the actions of me or my personal band of knights... Then she can go tell the Queen. Who may, if she so chooses... Relate it to me. Of course- she would not do that. And do you know why? Because the Queen happens to be quite intelligent. And she knows full well that she cannot afford to lose favor with me. She and this entire kingdom... Need me." said Jerkius, his voice both loud and self-assured.

Marco slowly shook his head. "Star doesn't need you. And neither does the Queen. Not someone like you. Someone that treats other creatures like trash." he said. "No kingdom... No dimension... Needs someone like you."

The room went completely silent and the air crackled with tension as Jerkius and Marco stared each other down.

Eventually, Jerkius broke the silence. "I tell you what, my brave little outsider... How about we make a little deal. Let's have ourselves a good old-fashioned gladiatorial match. You and I. If I win... Well, then- You and the forest-dweller will forfeit your lives. And if you win... I'll happily get on my knees and beg forgiveness from any vile creature of your choice." he said. "And- before you say anything... You have no choice in the matter. Knights!"

All of a sudden, a group of knights broke away from the diamond-shaped table and surrounded both Marco and Kelly.

"Escort the boy to the changing stations! He shall be allowed to pick his very own suit of armor to wear! A gift from yours truly. Escort the forest-dweller to a VIP spot in the Royal Knights Gladiatorial Arena. We are going to be holding an emergency show- and I want her sitting in the best seats in the house." exclaimed Jerkius. As Marco and Kelly were suddenly dragged away in opposite directions by groups of heavily armored knights, Jerkius chuckled to himself. "Yes... This should be a very entertaining show indeed. Don't you agree... Lavabo?"

Jerkius shot Lavabo a sadistic grin. Fully expecting to find Sir Lavabo looking completely panicked when he turned to face him. Instead, Lavabo flashed him a smile as he gently stroked his long grey beard.

"Yes. I expect it will." said Lavabo, quietly enjoying the frustrated sound that Jerkius made as he huffed and left the table.

As Marco and Kelly were escorted away, Higgs peeked out from behind a nearby statue and frowned.

"...Dammnit. I told them this would happen..." she muttered. "...Someone's gotta tell the Princess..."

Higgs sighed.

"...And I guess that someone's gotta be me."

---

To be continued...

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(AN: I can hear you now. "Whaaat? Your updating twice on the same day? Are you deranged?" Well, the answer is apparently yes.

After giving it some thought, I decided to post this as its own chapter and then take a break for a little while. I hope you guys don't mind too much... And I apologize for any confusion that this will no doubt cause.)

PS: As always, a special shoutout to robertkellett for all of his help thus far.