Chapter 4
Arya woke up with a strange weight on her back. Eyes still shut she planned her next move. Whowever they were, had been stupid enough to leave her mouth uncovered,but she needn't not to scream, she could handle this herself.
In one swift move she turned to face her attacker only to see Gendry.
He lay fast asleep next to her unaware as heart tried to regain a normal pulse. It had been so long she had forgotten he had returned to her.
Arya took this opportunity to study the boy next to her. In the morning light with the creases absence from his ever-present frown he looked very much still a boy. Her eyes wandered across the sides of his face making their way down his neck into his bare chest.
Her stomach dipped as she reached the line of hair on his chest that led down to his breeches. All the thoughts from the night before came rushing back to her. She closed her eyes trying to separate dream from reality.
She had been partially truthful in saying that she didn't mind what he had done with the serving girl as long as he was safe.
In truth a part of her hated it, but why should she.
She always thought about what her mother must have felt when her father brought back Jon to Winterfell. Arya has always sympathized with her father, after all Jon was the greatest gift she had ever been given. Yet now for the first time in her life she felt her mother's pain. What it must have been like to know the one you loved...
WAIT! NO! NOT LOVED! Arya sat up in the bed quickly leaving Gendry to mumble something as he tossed in his sleep. This was an entirely different situation. He was not her husband or her lover.
Arya groaned aloud.
This was the part she hated about growing up. Her life had always been complicated, but since when did she have to mull over what Gendry meant to her.
At 8 and 10 she knew her feelings and desires were natural , but refused to turn into Sansa. Maybe she should bed someone. Her maidenhead was more of a nusence than something she felt she need protect and although her septa had failed to mention anything in the way of sexual gratification for women she could only assume her frustrations came from the same place as that of the other brothers when they went too long without the pleasures of a woman. But there were no prospects, and she didn't want to be like men. Men who spent more time thinking with their cock than their brain
"Seven Hells." She muttered
She hated showing any sign of weakness yet her staying with the Brotherhood had been her biggest yet. Her mission to return to Winterfell has been derailed by a stupid bull headed boy.
She glanced over him again and felt another wave of emotions. Rolling her eyes in the process. Like it or not he meant as much to her as any Stark, so his fate would be intertwined with hers.
Snow. Waters. Damn all these bastards to hell.
Lost in her thoughts she didn't notice Gendry had woken up.
"Mornin" he said, his voice still raspy at his first word. His hand brushing against her arm as he stretched.
At this contact Gendry's own mind reeled in the events of the previous night. It scared him how little he felt.
All his life he had based his decisions off correcting the mistakes of others. He vowed to be better man than his father, love better than his mother and to look out for those who truly needed his help yet last night he had broken half his vows and yet felt no shame, no resentment...he felt nothing.
He turned his gaze unto her sharp grey eyes which bore into him.
Guilt. if there's was one thing he did feel it was guilt.
As much as this pained him it also revived him
It was only this Stark girl who could possibly do this. Make him feel when there was nothing else left. And fuck if it didn't make him love her even more.
And he did love her. He had loved far longer than was appropriate, he thought at least. His love had formed over the years as they both got older.
Maybe it was because he was older, or maybe it because bastards were always doomed to unrequited love but he had resigned himself to loving her with no intention of reciprocation.
She was a lady. She wa Stark.. But if there was one thing that stood in the way of her ever loving him back, it was that she was...Arya.
She deserved the more love than she would ever accept.
"Alright there?"Arya asked. A glint of amusement in her eyes.
"Better than ever" Gendey replied as his head pounded as if he was striking his hammer to it.
"Well...best be glad we're staying at an inn, because you know I would be making breakfast for you" Arya states as she rose from bed.
Gebdry gave her a crooked smile, not knowing if he could say anything to rectify the precarious situation he had put them in.
Maybe he was the only one who felt awkward and maybe she could care less he thought.
"Let's go down for breakfast before Thoros has eaten it all" she said scooting her legs towards the edge of their bed.
As her feet dangled inches from the cold floor she paused.
" I meant what I said last night...about just being glad your back" she said not looking at him.
"But your still my... I mean your still you right?" She said not daring to look at him.
His heart fluttered. He knew this small act of vulnerability pained her more than any sword ever could.
"I'm still me." He said absentmindedly .
They changed into their clothes in a comfortable silence before Arya led the way back to the dining hall.
The pair were greeted snickers that Arya quickly silenced with a single glare.
Gendry now knew what it felt like to have a wolf for protection.
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Hello everyone. Really felt this chapter was necessary because I've never seen Arya as some girl who would base all her decisions on love. I think this is a good opportunity to show her internal struggle and dealing with feelings she desperately wants to suppress. I think Gendry on the other hand has known from the start what he feels but let's feelings of guilt and inadequacy get in his way, especially after his traumatic experience leaving him even more untrusting than before. Interested to know how you see their relationship in either the show or the books. Please share in the comments :).
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