Having some trouble the last few days uploading this chapter. Hopefully it looks okay after everything I tried.
A few days later, Mia had gone back to North
Carolina reluctantly. Lorelai assured her that everything was going to be fine but she would call if they needed anything. Howard needed her as far as she was concerned but Mia made her promise to call at least every other day to keep her updated.
Rory to had gone back to New York to work more on her book. She insisted that her Mom call her if anything else came up or if she needed help. And of course she would be back for Thanksgiving. During her time home, Rory had bonded with little baby Sadie, more than she had expected. And she couldn't deny the fact that she had totally melted watching Lorelai and Luke playing house with the baby.
She thought maybe it would feel weird seeing her own Mother be so Motherly to another kid. And yet...it looked and felt so natural. There had been little to no contact with any of Sadie's grandparents or any other family yet and Rory was beginning to wonder what was going to happen. She also wondered how her Mother and LUke for that matter would take it when and if Sadie was taken away.
They both adamantly said that they were just helping the little girl out. And yet...it seemed like something much more than that. Kind of like making up for lost time and fulfilling a dream they both felt they had lost. She just hoped they weren't to heartbroken when Sadie went back home.
One Sunday morning, Lorelai and Luke were laying in bed both up earlier than they normally would be on a Sunday that Luke had off. Sadie was fast asleep in the crib beside their bed. Luke was on his back, Lorelai rested her head on his chest as they watched Sadie sleep. Luke's fingers threaded through her hair just as he always did when they lay like this.
She sighed happily and breathed him in, "She's been sleeping better the last two days."
Luke kissed the top of her head, "Yeah she has."
"Must be getting more comfortable with us." She whispered to him.
Luke smiled, "Maybe."
A little cooing sound made Lorelai sit up straighter, "Is she waking up?"
Luke looked over at the crib and saw Sadie start to kick her legs a little, "I think so."
She smiled and slowly pulled the blanket up off of her. Tiptoeing over to the crib from the bed, she peered down and smiled when Sadie's eyes opened to look at up her, "Hi pretty girl." Sadie just gurgled and Lorelai's heart began to melt, "Goodmorning."
Luke felt his heart doing that flip flop it had been doing the last few days whenever he watched Lorelai with Sadie. She was such a natural and that regret washed over him. But somewhere under that regret there was some hope…
"Come here…" Luke whispered softly, wanting them both as close as possible.
Lorelai smiled and walked over to the bed, she waited as Luke sat up on the bed, leaning against the headboard. She handed Sadie off to him and then climbed into bed beside him, pulling the blanket up on their legs.
Sadie reached out for his face, squeezing his nose, "Ow." Luke said with a throaty chuckle.
Sadie just giggled and Lorelai smiled, "That's not a toy Sadie girl. That's Luke's nose!"
Sadie's arms flailed and she squealed, "She's got a set of lungs on her. That's for sure."
Lorelai laughed and leaned forward to kiss her cheek, "She's happy."
Luke lifted her up and blew a raspberry on her tummy making her laugh harder. He kept doing it until the only sound in the room was Lorelai and Sadie's laughing, a sound that he could quite frankly live off for the rest of his life as far as he was concerned. When the sound began to die down, he held Sadie closer and she snuggled into his side, yawning slightly as she still started to wake up.
Luke looked over at Lorelai and saw the small happy yet somewhat sad smile on her face, "What?" He asked softly.
"Hm?" She asked distractedly, leaning forward to smooth out Sadie's outfit.
"What's the look for?" He asked feeling worried.
She sighed and shook her head, she leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder as she continued to stare down at the baby in his arms, "Nothing."
He sighed, "Lorelai…"
When he said her name like that, she knew he meant business. "I just…" She paused and took a deep breath before lifting her head up again to look at him, "This feels nice."
His eyes met hers and he swallowed the lump in his throat, "I know what you mean…"
She sighed and tickled Sadie's foot making her smile at her, "Just...I don't know. Us waking up together on a lazy Sunday morning. As much as I love spending these mornings alone with you...it feels just as nice to have this baby here with us." She paused before whispering, "Is that wrong?"
Luke shook his head and held Sadie a little closer, "No. It's not wrong. I think its a normal feeling."
She shook her head, "But Luke…" He heard the hesitation in her voice before she said, "She's not ours."
He felt his heart clench in his chest, "No. She's not…"
She sighed and sat up a little, sitting cross legged across from her husband, "Luke are we insane?"
He smiled sadly, "No. We are trying to do the right thing."
"Yeah...I know." She sighed, "But...we're here playing house and I mean...at some point she's going to be taken from us."
Luke swallowed hard, "And we are aware of that. Right? We are going to be fine…"
She bit her lip and leaned forward and whispered, "Are we?"
He smiled sadly and looked back at her, "We always are. Right?"
She smiled sadly at him, "Right."
"Besides...we said when this is all settled we'll have a real talk about you-you know kids. Our kids." He said with a stutter, feeling like he was wrong to do it in front of Sadie.
She nodded slowly, "Yes."
Luke nodded, "Okay. See? Everything will be fine."
She sighed but smiled, "Okay."
Luke smiled back, "I'll go down and start breakfast."
She nodded and reached out for Sadie, "I'll get her changed first."
Luke leaned forward and kissed Lorelai's cheek, "You okay?"
Lorelai nodded, "I'm okay." He gave her a look and she smiled sweetly, "I promise."
He winked and got out of bed to head downstairs to start breakfast. Lorelai sat on the bed and stared down at Sadie who just looked curiously up at her. Lorelai smiled and leaned down to kiss her little nose, "And you are going to be okay too. I promise Sadie. I promise."
Forty minutes later, Luke and Lorelai were finishing up their breakfast and Sadie was dozing off in her little carrier after her own feeding. Lorelai and Luke were talking about the week ahead and meetings they would have with agents as well as how they would balance the baby this week with work and without the help of Mia and Rory.
Suddenly, Lorelai's phone rang and she picked it up off the table. Luke watched as her face immediately fell and she cringed, "Shit. Shit. Shit."
Luke's heart started pounding in his chest thinking it had something to do Sadie, "What?"
She groaned and showed him the front of her phone, "It's my Mom."
Luke shrugged, "So?"
"Luke she's been away this week. I didn't have time to tell her about the Sadie situation." She whispered.
Luke sat up a little straighter, "I didn't even think about telling her to be honest…"
"She's going to think we're completely mental." She groaned feeling the panic continue to rise in her chest.
"She already thinks you're crazy." He said teasingly, trying to soften the mood but she gave him a vicious look and he frowned realizing it wasn't helping, "Sorry. You know I get nervous and say stupid things!"
She groaned when the ringing stopped, "Luke…"
"You have to call her back and tell her." He said with a frown.
She groaned, "But I don't wanna…"
"I think she will figure it out on Thanksgiving if we still have Sadie by then. I mean we'd either bring her there or have to have her come here if we can't leave with Sadie." He said with a shrug.
"You think she'd figure it out?" She teased.
He narrowed his eyes at her, "Lorelai...things have been good between you two lately. It will be fine."
Her hands fell to the table and she frowned, "Luke think about it. Don't you think this is going to bring up a lot of bad feelings?"
He was quiet for a moment, trying to think about what she was saying and finally he hit him. Of course it would be difficult for Emily. Her own daughter had run away with her grandchild and they had missed out on years of each other's lives. Sure they had come to a better place after all this time...but he knew that there was always a little underlying tension that could easily explode at any moment.
"Yeah...it might be a little hard. But it will be harder the longer you keep it from her. She'll be hurt. I mean she took it well when we admitted we got married the night before the actual wedding...a little too well to be honest. But I don't want to rock the boat anymore than we have too." He said with a shrug.
She gave him a look, "I'm scared."
Luke nodded, "I know. I get that. But…" He shrugged, "I'm going to be right here no matter what." Her face softened slightly and he nodded towards her phone, "Make the call."
Taking a deep breath she lifted the phone and called her Mother back. It rang only twice before she answered, "Lorelai? You weren't still sleeping were you?"
"No Mom. We were just finishing up breakfast. Sorry." She said rolling her eyes, "How are you? How was your trip with your friends from the Museum?"
"Oh it was wonderful! But I am happy to be home and having some of Berta's delicious cooking. I just wanted to check in. See how newlywed life is?" Emily asked.
Lorelai looked at her husband, he smiled encouragingly, "Oh we're good. Things are good."
"And you're still coming here for Thanksgiving, right?" Emily asked.
Lorelai fidged in her seat, "Um...well. I think? Yes…"
"Lorelai we had a deal. We made the arrangements. There is plenty of room here for you and Luke as well as Rory." She said quickly.
"No I know. I just…" She sighed and was trying to find the words when suddenly Sadie started to cry and instant panic erupted in her, "Uh…"
"Is that a baby I hear crying?" Emily asked quickly.
Lorelai shot a look at her husband and tried to signal to him to take Sadie out of the room, "Um. Well...Mom I need to talk to you about something."
Luke quickly jumped up and picked up Sadie trying to walk out of the room, he stubbed his toe as he walked out of the kitchen causing him to curse and Sadie to start crying harder. "Lorelai Gilmore what on Earth is going on?"
Lorelai jumped up and ran into Rory's room, slamming the door behind her, "Mom-"
"Now I know you didn't have a baby on your own. But…" She mumbled.
"God for once I wish you lived in Hartford still so we could have this conversation in person." She cringed as she could hear Luke trying to soothe Sadie in the living room.
"Well I'll make Berta do the face thing." She said quickly, "We need to talk."
Lorelai groaned, "The what?"
"The face thing! The face thing Lorelai! The thing on the phone when I see your face! Berta!" She yelled before hanging up.
Lorelai groaned and whipped open the door before running out into the living room, "Crap. Crap. Crap on a stick!"
Luke was bouncing Sadie up and down, "I think I broke my toe."
"Forget about your toe!" Lorelai said, "She's about to do the face thing with me!"
Luke's mouth hung open slightly, "The face thing? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Facetime! That damn Berta has been teaching her. She's a bad influence." She said frantically staring at her phone.
Luke sighed, "Why is she facetiming you?"
"She heard Sadie crying and now she's freaking out. I didn't know what to say. I said I wanted to talk in person." She said waving her hand at him.
He rolled his eyes, "Well that was your first mistake."
She groaned, "Don't try and be funny."
"I'm not trying to be funny. I'm trying to ignore the pounding pain in my damn toe." He said continuing to try and soothe Sadie.
"Forget your toe Luke! She's going to freak out." She said with a sigh.
He frowned, "Maybe she won't...maybe she'll take it better than you expect."
She gave him a look, "You remember Emily Gilmore right? Has she ever at any point in your life seen her take big news like this well?"
He sighed, "Okay maybe she'll be a little upset...a little hesitant. But I think in the end she will understand what you are doing."
The phone started to ring again and she jumped, "Ah!"
Sadie started to cry again and he sighed, "Not helping Lorelai."
"What do I do?" She said hopping from foot to foot.
He smiled as he rubbed Sadie's back, "Just...tell her the truth. That's all your Mom wants. We'll deal with the rest later, okay? I'm going to bring Sadie upstairs."
She cringed, "Luke…"
"You can do this." He said limping towards the stairs, "Not joking about the broken toe thing."
She stuck her tongue out at him, "One crisis at a time buddy."
He chuckled and walked up the stairs with Sadie. She looked down at the phone and saw that her Mother was in fact trying to facetime with her. She took a deep breath, accepted the call and walked towards the couch, "Hey Mom…"
On the other side of the screen, Emily did not look happy, "Lorelai. Explain."
Lorelai held the phone out with a shaking arm and sighed, "We didn't adopt a baby."
Emily sighed and leaned back in her seat but held the phone closer, "Well you did officially get married without me. I wasn't sure."
"So you aren't as okay with that as you claimed to be then I see." Lorelai said with a frown.
"I was a little upset but I get it." She held the phone closer to her face.
"Mom…" She said trying not to laugh, "You don't have to hold the phone that close to your face. I can see you just fine."
"What?" Emily asked, "I see your lips moving but I can't hear you. Why can't I hear you?"
Lorelai groaned, "Mom…"
"Berta!" Emily yelled again causing Lorelai to jump, "Berta I can't hear her! I can't hear Lorelai!"
Lorelai frowned, "This must be what hell is like."
Berta's face came into view, "You muted her Mrs. Gilmore."
Lorelai started laughing, "Can you hear me now?"
"Well how do I unmute her?" Emily asked, "She's about to tell me something important."
"Please take your time Berta." Lorelai said with a smile, "It will help me think of something to-"
"All set now Mrs. Gilmore. Hello Lorelai." Berta said before quickly leaving the room
"Oh goodie." Lorelai said as she took a deep breath.
Emily sighed, "What's going on Lorelai?"
Lorelai took a deep breath, "Before we have this conversation I just...I want you to remember how far we've come."
She saw a nervous expression cross over her Mother's face, "Lorelai…"
"And I want you to remember how hard we have worked to get to this place. And that I am sorry for all the things I did in the past to hurt you and Dad…" She looked down sadly.
Emily frowned, "Lorelai you're making me nervous. You didn't break up with Luke already did you?"
Lorelai frowned, "Mom no. Of course not."
Emily gasped, "Does Luke have another long lost child?"
Lorelai's eyes bugged, "Mom! No! Just let me talk!"
Emily fidgeted slightly, "Well when you tell a story it takes about an hour Lorelai. Just spill it."
Lorelai swallowed hard, "When Luke and I got back from our Honeymoon I went back to work and something happened. This...this girl showed up at the Inn." The blush grew in her cheeks, "She was a young Mother just like I was."
Emily's eyes widened in surprise, "Oh?"
"It was…" She smiled sadly, "It was a strange feeling to see her standing there. I brought up a lot of emotions for me and I uh...I decided I wanted to help her."
Emily frowned, "So...you're helping her out?"
Lorelai felt her heart pounding in her chest, "Well...I was. I was trying too anyway...I think I just thought it was my job to do it. To help her out like Mia had helped me." Her face flushed again, "But uh...but it seems like our situations are very different."
"What does that mean?" Emily asked quickly, "Is something wrong with her? With the child?"
Lorelai licked her lips, "Mom...I know it's hard for you to imagine this but when I had Rory there was no doubt in my mind that she was meant to be born. I knew that even though she wasn't part of the plan she was meant to be. I was meant to be her Mother and as scared as I was I wanted to do everything to make sure she was taken care of."
Emily took a deep breath, "Lorelai...I may never have understood why you left. But I've never questioned your love for Rory."
Lorelai nodded, "I just assumed that this girl would feel the same way about her daughter…" She sighed and looked down, settling further into the couch, "Turns out she didn't feel that way."
Emily cocked her head to the side, "What does that mean?"
"I gave her a room at the Inn…" She looked down, "And she left. She left without her daughter."
Emily's eyes widened in surprise, "What?"
"She took all of her stuff and just left Mom. Tobin called me in the middle of the night and this poor little baby was crying desperately at the Inn all alone." She said with a shake of her head.
Emily gasped and put a hand to her chest, "Oh Lorelai…"
Lorelai smiled sadly, "It's been a bit complicated. I was trying to do what I thought was right. But I guess I was wrong."
Emily sighed, "So...that baby is...?"
Lorelai frowned, "Sadie. Luke and I…" She bit her lip nervously, "We said we would watch her for the time being. Until things are settled and if they find her Mom Jessica."
Emily was quiet for a moment as she thought about this news, "So she's staying with you…"
Lorelai fidgeted slightly, feeling the nerves creep up from her toes through her chest and into her face, "Yes. We didn't like the idea of her just being taken to a home...she's been through enough."
Emily licked her lips, "And Luke was okay with this idea?"
Lorelai smiled softly, "He was the one to suggest it actually."
She could see the way her Mother's eyebrow arched slightly in surprise, "Really?"
Lorelai's smile brightened, "I was surprised myself. But yes it was his idea."
A slow smile began to spread on Emily's face, "Well that was nice of him."
Lorelai looked down at her lap, "He's been incredible with her. So natural."
Emily could read her daughter like a book, the love she had for her husband was quite evident pretty much always. But the reason for that smile was more to do with Luke's Fathering abilities. She wondered if after all this time it wasn't to late afterall for them to have children.
"Well he's very good with Rory and April. Granted they are older but still…" Emily whispered.
Lorelai beamed at the phone, "I know. I never questioned his ability to be a Father." Her face flushed and she stuttered slightly, "I just...I don't mean that she is ours. I know she isn't ours. She's Jessica's...not that Jessica wanted her. Or maybe she does. Maybe she just got scared and maybe she will come back. And-"
"Lorelai." Her voice wasn't angry or stern, just steady, "Take a deep breath."
Lorelai sniffled slightly, "Mom I think I might be in a little over my head." She sighed and ran her free hand through her hair, "I mean Sadie is adorable and of course I want to help her but I feel like…"
"You are starting to develop feelings for this little girl." Emily whispered.
Lorelai sighed, "I am. Especially when I see her with Luke. Am I completely insane?"
"No." Emily said shaking her head, "I think that deep down you've always wanted this with Luke."
"Okay yes. But Sadie isn't ours!" Lorelai said nervously, "At some point we're going to have to give her back."
There was a silence between them for a moment, "Lorelai I've seen you and Luke overcome more than any other couple I have ever known. I may not have always supported the two of you...but over the years I've learned to understand what this thing is between you two. Luke loves you. You love him. There's no denying that. No matter what happens next you will figure this out and you will do it together." A lump formed in her throat and she looked down, "Just like your Father and I figured out things together."
Lorelai took a deep breath and looked at her Mom, "I miss him."
A sad smile spread across her Mother's face, "I miss him every moment of every day."
Lorelai watched her Mother carefully, "Do you think he knows that I loved him? That I was sorry for all the things I di-"
"Lorelai…" Emily said with a shake of her head, "Your Father loved you more than you'll ever know. And he was so proud of you...for all you have done. For all you have accomplished and overcome. He would be very proud of you right now. The way that you are selflessly helping this little baby. He loved you very much. I don't want you to ever doubt that. Okay?"
Lorelai wiped a tear that fell from her eyes, "I wish he was here now to tell me what to do."
"He would tell you to keep doing what you're doing and to listen to your heart. It's always steered you in the right direction in the end." She whispered.
Lorelai smiled, "Mom?"
Emily took a deep breath, "Yes Lorelai?"
"Mia was here…" Her face flushed when she saw her Mother fidgeted slightly, "She told me that she called you when I showed up."
Emily swallowed hard, "Yes. She did. She wanted to check your background I assume."
Lorelai sighed, "I should have done that with Jessica."
Emily stared at her for a moment, "I told her to bring you home."
Lorelai sighed, "Mom I am so sorry for what I put you through. But I just...I did what I felt like I had to do. For me and for Rory. But in the end I think it was right for all of us. We needed that space to begin to understand each other."
Emily adjusted her position on the couch, "Lorelai there is no use in hashing it all out now. It's been years…"
Lorelai frowned, "I know. But...I do feel bad for hurting you the way I did. I can't imagine what I would do if Rory did that to me."
Emily laughed, "Rory would never run away from you like that. Your relationship is very different than ours was."
Lorelai shrugged, "She did run away from me...and she went to you."
Emily's eyes widened and she inhaled sharply, "I...I never thought of it that way."
Lorelai shook her head, "What goes around, comes around right I suppose."
Emily frowned, "It was different Lorelai."
Lorelai stared at the older woman through the screen and whispered, "Are we okay?"
Emily smiled softly, "You know your Father wasn't the only one who was and is proud of you Lorelai."
Tears pricked in Lorelai's eyes again, "Mom…"
"We're okay." Emily said softly, "Is there anything I can do to help you right now?"
Lorelai shrugged her shoulders, "Honestly? As long as I know you support us and don't think I've completely lost my mind then that's all I need."
Emily smiled, "Well okay then. Would it help if I come there for Thanksgiving…" She paused, "If you still have her then I mean?"
Lorelai felt her heart clench in her chest at the thought of the little girl being gone, "That would be nice...if you don't mind."
Emily nodded slowly, "Okay. Then I suppose you'll just keep me updated? Let me know what is happening? I want to be involved."
Lorelai nodded, "I promise I'll let you know what happens."
Emily smiled, "Okay then. I'll let you go…" She paused then added, "Thank you for telling me all this Lorelai."
Having been working so hard on their communication lately, Lorelai really did know how much this meant to her Mother, "Of course. Bye Mom."
Lorelai hung up the phone and smiled to herself, much happier with the outcome of this conversation than she would have expected. They really had come a long way...in years past this could have turned into a blow out of epic proportions. Old wounds were hard to heal and yet somehow they had been able to begin to understand each other over the years.
And for that...Lorelai was incredible grateful.
Pushing herself up off the couch, she climbed the stairs and found Luke sitting on the bed with Sadie making faces at her. Her heart flip flopped in her chest as it had been doing the last few days whenever she saw him with Sadie. She leaned against the doorway and crossed her arms over her chest watching them intently, wishing this would never end.
Luke looked up and blushed slightly, "Oh...hey."
She pushed herself away from the doorframe and smiled, "Hey…"
Luke lifted Sadie up and put her down in the crib to give his wife his full attention, "I didn't hear any screaming...so that's good, right?"
Lorelai nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed, "Mhm."
Walking over to the bed, he sat beside her and put his hand on her back rubbing it soothingly, "You okay?"
She sighed and looked over at him, "Better than expected. But I think it was still hard for both of us in a way. Brought up a lot of old pain."
Luke nodded and reached out to take her hand, "I can understand that."
She looked over at him and smiled, "How's the toe?"
He smirked but shrugged, "A bit sore but I think I'll live..."
She sighed and ran a hand through her hair before laying back on the bed, "Man oh man…"
Luke leaned back and rested his elbow on the bed, his head against his hand, "What?"
She smiled and turned towards him, "Did you think our first month of marriage would be this crazy?"
Luke chuckled and moved his free hand over to her face, stroking her cheek gently, "Well it's us...things have never exactly gone smoothly."
She smirked and moved her head to look at the ceiling, "No. I suppose it hasn't."
He scooted closer to her, wrapping an arm around her middle, "But no matter what we will figure it out together. I already told you that."
She smiled and turned her head towards him, "My Mom said the same thing. She said she's proud of how much we have overcome to get here."
Luke smiled down at her and leaned in to give her a kiss, "All those years ago I would have never expected her to be rooting for us."
She reached a hand out to squeeze his arm, "She's grown to love you honey. You know that."
Luke nodded, "I don't know if I would say love. Maybe tolerate?"
She smiled and shook her head, "No...it's more than that Luke. She knows how much I love you. How much Rory loves you and all that you've done for us. She is happy for us. I promise."
Luke took a deep breath, "I've made a lot of mistakes."
Lorelai frowned, "So have I Luke. Neither of us have been perfect in this…" She shrugged, "Yet we're still here."
He nodded slowly, "I know…"
Sitting up slightly she looked deep into his eyes, "Luke…"
He saw fear in her eyes and he leaned forward and kissed her, "Don't."
She frowned, "I just feel like you're trying to tell me you're unhappy."
Luke shook his head, "Lorelai I told you that day in the kitchen...never in my wildest dreams did I expect to get this lucky. All I need is you and this life we have created together. No matter what comes next...I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." He smiled at her, "I was going crazy when you were gone...thinking I lost you. I will never and could never do this without you."
Her eyes welled up with tears, "Luke...I'm scared."
He frowned and touched her cheek, "Of what?"
She sat up all the way and looked over at the crib, "My feelings for that little girl…"
Luke watched her from behind for a moment, knowing exactly what she was feeling. He sat up and took her hand, resting it in his lap. She looked down at their joined hands then up at his face, "Yeah...I feel it too."
"But she's not ours." She whispered in a sad voice, "I know we talked about it a little this morning...but talking to my Mom made me realize what I was feeling even more."
Luke sighed and looked over at her, "Do you want to send her to the group home?"
Lorelai's face fell at the thought of it, "No! I don't want her there…"
He pulled her closer, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head, "Okay. Okay...shhh. Relax."
She sighed and nuzzled into his side, "She needs to stay here. I just know it is going to break my heart when we have too…"
Luke frowned and kissed the top of her head again, wanting to comfort her as much as possible but hating tha the felt that own ache, "I know. I'm going to feel it too."
She sighed and pulled away, she walked over to the crib and stared down at the the little baby in the crib. Her hazel eyes stared up at her with curiosity, a small smile spread on her lips, a little drool dribbled down her chin. She giggled and wiggled her fingers up at Lorelai. Lorelai's heart clenched and she leaned down to pick her up, pressing her to her chest.
"She's so innocent." Lorelai whispered, "I mean she...didn't ask for this. She doesn't even know what is happening."
Luke watched her rock the baby back and forth, "I understand that Jessica was scared...but I don't think I can ever understand how you would leave your baby. I mean I think of all the time I missed with April and it kills me. She willingingly is giving her up like this…"
Lorelai turned back to him and walked over to the bed, "I know. I know this is hard for you too."
Luke reached out and touched Sadie's little nose, "Lorelai…"
She took a deep breath and looked at him, "Yeah?"
He fidgeted slightly, "I feel like...she was brought here for a reason." A silence filled the room, "I know you felt that reason was to help Jessica the way Mia helped you. But...but what if there was a different reason?"
She watched him carefully, "And what reason is that?"
He felt heat course through his body, nerves enveloping him, "To make us realize that we do want this...that we're ready."
Her eyes bore into him, "Yeah…"
"Or…" He cleared his throat, "What if...what if she's meant to be with us?"
She sucked her lower lip in between her teeth, "Luke you know it doesn't just work like that…"
He sighed and lifted his arms out to gently take Sadie from Lorelai's arms, "Yeah yeah...I know. But…" He held Sadie against his chest, "We're the ones taking care of her. We're the ones laying it on the line for her. Not her own parents...doesn't that mean something?"
She sighed and stood up, lifting up onto her tiptoes she rested her chin against his shoulder, "To us it might. But if they find her Grandparents...or her Father or even Jessica and they decide they want her...we don't get any say. Not really."
He frowned and stared down at the little girl, "Well that sucks."
She moved her head so that now her forehead was against his shoulder, "I know...it really does."
He sighed, "Maybe I should never have even suggested that we take her."
Lorelai squeezed him from behind, "Hon."
"I hate that this is going to break your heart. I mean it will break mine too but I'm supposed to protect you. I'm your husband...I shouldn't put you in a position when you are going to get hurt." His voice was laced with pain and it sent an ache through her body.
"Luke…" He didn't turn to her, "Babe look at me. Please…"
She heard him sigh before turning to her, "What?"
"This may cause us some pain but this little girl deserves to have someone looking out for her. That's more important. We will learn to deal with it...but she needs us." She whispered, tears welling in her eyes, "We're doing a good thing."
He swallowed hard and looked down at the baby in his arms, "She does need us." He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her small forehead then frowned when he pulled away.
She saw the look on his face change, "What's wrong?"
"Does she feel a little warm to you?" He asked looking up at her with a concerned expression.
Lorelai frowned and leaned forward to press her cheek against Sadie's forehead, something she had done many times to Rory when she was a baby. As Luke had thought...her forehead was slightly warmer than usual. "A little bit…" She held her arms out for Sadie and Luke gently handed her off, "Hey little one...are you feeling okay?"
Sadie smiled but her cheeks were slightly flushed and her eyes seemed glazed over which Lorelai hadn't noticed before. She kissed her forehead again and felt the warmth rush through her. Sensing Luke's anxiousness beside her, she turned to him and saw that he looked terrified.
"What do we do?" Luke whispered.
She rocked Sadie back and forth, "We keep her warm and hydrated...and comfortable. She'll be okay. I promise."
"Should I warm up a bottle?" Luke asked quickly.
"In a little bit. I think I might try and give her a bath…" She whispered walking towards their bathroom, "Will you run downstairs and get that baby soap I got?"
"Sure." Luke answered walking towards the door quickly, "Lorelai?"
She smiled at him from the bathroom door, "She's going to be okay babe. I promise. And so are we…"
He took a deep breath and smiled before walking out of the room and down the hallway. Lorelai smiled down at Sadie and tried to soothe her as she walked into the bathroom.
A few hours later, the snow was falling outside on this cold November day and Luke had a fire burning in the fireplace. Lorelai had given Sadie a little bath and then brought her downstairs to feed her. Luke was right by her side, placing a soft blanket over Sadie as she lay in his wife's arms.
Sadie's eyes began to flutter shut as she snuggled into Lorelai's side after she finished her bottle, "Does she seem okay?" Luke asked.
Lorelai nodded, "She's alright...just needs some rest."
Luke sighed and rested his elbow on the back of the couch, "How do you just know this stuff?"
Lorelai looked up at him and smiled, "Hon I don't know everything. Trust me...the first few times Rory got sick Mia had to keep me from running to the hospital. But she'll be okay. I promise. Just a little cold I think."
Luke sighed and reached a hand out to touch Sadie's forehead, "She's not as warm."
"See?" Lorelai whispered, "She's okay. She's strong…"
Luke smiled and leaned forward to kiss her cheek, "She's very strong…She has to be to handle all of this."
Lorelai sighed and ran a hand over her fine hair, "Yeah. She does…"
Luke looked up at her and was about to say something to his wife when the phone rang interrupting him from his thoughts. He smiled at Lorelai and stood up, walking over to the desk he lifted the phone to his ear and said; "Hello?"
"Mr. Danes?" A voice on the other end said, "This is Detective Harris…"
Luke fidgeted slightly, his heart started pounding in his chest, "Oh...hi."
He looked over and saw the way that Lorelai was lost in the moment, holding Sadie as she hummed softly to the sleeping girl. He knew whatever was about to say wasn't going to be easy to hear no matter what the outcome was.
"Mr. Danes we found Jessica's parents. They are heading down to Connecticut to meet with us in the morning." He said.
Luke sucked in a breath, "Oh well...well that's good."
"We'd like you to bring Sadie in so they could see her. And they may potentially take her home with them if they decide to take custody for the time being until we can locate the child's Mother." He said.
Luke looked up and saw Lorelai giving him a questioning look, "Who is it?" She asked him.
Luke sighed and gave her a soft smile before answering the Detective, "We'll see you in the morning. Thanks for calling."
He hung up the phone and slowly turned to his wife. She looked so peaceful holding Sadie, yet she had a nervous expression on her face. They knew it was coming...they had talked about it today even. And yet he knew this was still going to break her heart...and quite frankly his too.
"Luke?" She asked softly, "Hon, what is it?"
He sighed and walked over to the couch knowing there was no use in waiting...no matter when he told her it was going to hurt. But they had to do this together...and they had to do this for Sadie. He just hoped that whatever happened would be in her best interest...
I don't love how it formatted but I was struggling to get this uploded. I will update as soon as I can! Thanks.