The Moon and Star
Chapter Three
Remus
It was almost the end of my first term in Hogwarts. Four successful months; each one more tiring than the last. Each time it came around, a feeling of dread washed over me. It felt as if I was drowning, each and every time. Every single time… every…
"You alright, Remus?" Sirius' scared blue eyes bore into mine, concern etched over his face.
"Yeah, I was just… just… thinking…" I muttered, frowning into my Herbology essay.
"Hey, Remus? You… you can tell me anything, you know that? I know we haven't known each other long, but… I just feel close to you already, you know?" My heart soared, then soured. I knew it wasn't a good thing for Sirius to care about me, however much I wanted it. I needed to tell him.
"Sirius, I… we can't be friends anymore." The hurt on his face broke my heart. I steeled myself against my own emotions and stood up sharply, and begun to walk away.
"But…" Sirius' weak voice stopped me in my tracks. "Why, Remus, I… I thought you wanted friends."
"I do." I muttered. "I really do but… it's not safe." I said over my shoulder, then turned and ran into the dormitory to be alone with my own thoughts; the main one being…. it's nearly here.
Later that night, I was lying in my bed, facing the wall, when a soft creaking stirred me. My ears pricked up; there was someone in the dormitory.
"What d'you think, James? What's he not telling us?" Sirius was whispering.
"I don't know, Sirius. I don't know how he got those scars; I don't know where he goes each month; I don't know why he told you he didn't want to be our friend anymore. He…he's different, Sirius. I know it."
James
The next few days were awkward, to say the least. Each morning when Sirius, Peter and I woke up, Remus was already gone. One day however, he left the dorm in the morning, but did not return in the evening.
We hurried to see Professor McGonagall, fearing the worst - we were overdramatic eleven-year-olds after all.
"Professor, I know it's late but we haven't seen Remus all day and he isn't in the dorm or the common room, and we… we're worried, Professor." Sirius muttered in a steady crescendo, looking up at McGonagall with, to my surprise, tears in his eyes.
"You're… worried about him? Remus, Remus Lupin?"
"Yes, do you know where he is, Professor?" I said, patting Sirius comfortingly on the shoulder.
"Yes, he… well, you can come and see him in the hospital wing tomorrow morning." Sirius blanched, and a tear slipped down his cheek.
"The… the hospital wing? No…" Sirius ran to the door, a determined but frightened expression on his young face.
"Mr. Black," McGonagall said softly, kindly, "Remus is not there at present." Sirius stopped so quickly he almost tripped over his own feet. He turned rapidly, and dashed back to us.
"What do you mean, Professor?" I inquired; Sirius was too shell-shocked to speak.
"Oh, believe me, Potter," Professor McGonagall sighed, her eyes to the ground, "I know that Mr. Lupin will, most unfortunately, be in the hospital wing by morning. I will meet you there at nine o'clock." It was a clear dismissal.
"It'll be alright, Sirius, I'm sure he'll be ok." I murmured as we entered the silent homeliness of the Gryffindor common room.
"How do you know?" Sirius wailed as he flung himself into a thick armchair. "Where is he, James? He could be dead for all we know!"
"I know, Sirius." I said softly, kneeling beside him as he cried. "I'll come with you tomorrow, ok? We can make sure he's alright together." He snuffled quietly, then nodded. Sirius stood shakily, and led himself off to the dorm.
"Why do you think he's so attached to Remus already?" Peter asked quietly. I jumped; I had been thinking about everything I had learnt about Remus Lupin in the short time I had known him. He was quiet, shy; he always seemed to know when you were down; he always knew how to cheer you up in his own little ways; he was modest, and unusually grateful for the smallest of things; he was embarrassed of his scarred skin, and didn't see how Sirius drank in his features when he was looking the opposite way; how he relished in Remus' smiles and laughter, and noticed how rare they were.
"He finds him fascinating," I whispered, "He feels a connection to him, like he doesn't to us. I mean, we're his best friends, and so is Remus, but he feels differently towards him. I just know it."
Sirius
That night was the longest of my life, even longer than my very first in Hogwarts. Remus hadn't entered the dorm during the night; McGonagall was right.
As soon as the clock read 8:30, I couldn't wait any longer. I got out of bed, fully dressed, and put my shoes on. James, who had obviously been waiting too, stood too, and followed me out of the room when we were done.
We ran the last few meters to the hospital wing, and shoved open the door. Professor McGonagall was standing in the centre of the room, looking concerned.
"Ah, Mr. Black, Mr. Potter. I imagined you would be early. I am afraid to say my predictions were correct." McGonagall gestured towards a still figure in the bed to her left. "I think Mr. Lupin is too tired to talk at the moment, but you can see him if you wish." I didn't need to hear any more than that. I ran towards the bed to which McGonagall had gestured, but promptly stopped in my tracks, and swayed slightly where I stood. Madam Pomfrey rushed forward from where she was finishing tending another patient.
"Perhaps you should sit, Sirius." She said consolingly, taking my arm and guiding me into the seat beside where Remus lay, swathed in bandages, a cold sweat settled over his brow. He had bloody slashed running under his right eye, over his nose, and finishing by his chin. I found a tear gathering in my eye. I swiftly wiped it away, and returned my gaze to Remus. He sniffled slightly in his sleep, and wrestled an arm out from under the blankets, settling his hand just about his heart. I laughed softly through my tears, gazing down at Remus' slumbering face.
"What… what happened t-to him?" I said, looking up at Professor McGonagall, who was running her concerned, motherly eyes over Remus' scarred face. She glanced up at me, remorse written over her features.
"He… I'm sure he will tell you in due time, Sirius. It is not my tale to tell." She breathed. "Mr. Lupin needs his rest, boys. You may return tomorrow at the same time."
"Thank you, Professor." James said. I jumped; I had forgotten he was there.
"Professor?" I murmured. She turned back to me.
"Yes, Sirius?"
"Can… can I stay a few minutes? Just to talk to him alone for a minute?"
"Yes, yes, of course." McGonagall said, her eyes glistening. She and James left the hospital wing; James looked back at me, concern in his eyes. I smiled shakily at him to attempt reassurance. I'm not sure I was particularly convincing. I looked at Remus, his false peacefulness almost fooling me, but not quite.
"Oh, Remus, what are you hiding from me?"