And here it is, the next chapter! Yes, I am late (again), but at a moment of this chapter, there is (a little of) Durin family fluff, so I hope that you'll forgive me! :)

This chapter will also be longer than the previous two chapters, and I hope you'll find it worth the wait! ;)

Any mistakes in this are mine, because this chapter is still unbetad for now.

Disclaimer: I am not Tolkien or Peter Jackson, I do not own anything present in this story, except my OC, Aredhel. I do not earn any money with this work.

And now, I am letting you read this chapter (which I am quite proud of)!

Chapter 3: A broken king

After the elf left the room, Dis looked at Kili and asked him, "Do you feel better?"

He tried to nod, but he quickly found out that he couldn't lie to her. So he shook his head, explaining himself, "I don't even know why I talked about... them, Amad... I shouldn't have..."

"I know, my son," she whispered as she put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to calm down.

"Do your wounds still hurt you?" his mother continued. She knew she had to change the subject of their conversation, because thinking too much about them would do no good. To anyone.

"No, I'm feeling well thanks to Aredhel," he answered almost immediately, thankful that his mother had stopped talking about Fili and Thorïn.

He then saw her frown, and he thought back on his words. Had he said something wrong?

"Aredhel?" she questioned. She clearly sounded bewildered.

"Yes. I think it is only right of me to call her by her name, and her name only. She saved my life, Amad."

"Yes, I guess you're right. But..."

"If you're about to tell me that she's an elf, mother, you may as well not tell it." His voice was unusually cold, and his mother stared at him for a few moments, before she finally started to smile.

"Well... I have to admit that I wanted to say it, but... You're right, that would not be fair of me." She paused, before asking again, "Have you taken a decision?"

"A... decision?" Kili repeated.

Dis saw his eyes darkening when he understood what she meant.

"I have already told you, mother, I will not become the King of Erebor."

"I know you do not want to, Kili, but please, think about it," she pleaded while leading him towards his bed.

She had felt him shudder, and she knew it was not because of the coldness of the room. He was beginning to get tired.

He gratefully sat down and sighed. "I was not supposed to be the King, Amad... Uncle was, and he would have been a great King! And Fili was the rightful heir, not me! He would have been..." He paused and closed his eyes. How he missed his brother! He thought talking about this with his mother would make it more bearable, but he was apparently wrong.

"And you think you will not be a King as great as they would have been?" Dis asked, frowning. Her youngest son was one of the kindest souls she had ever met, and he was far more opened to relations with the Elves and the Men than Dain was, his... friendship, or whatever that was, with the she-elf proved this.

"It is not about that. I..."

"My son, do you realize how much of a good King you will be? I think all can agree on this."

"No," Kili snapped. "I will not be a good King, because-"

"Do you not think Thorïn would be grateful to have you as the King? He respected Dain, but I believe we both know that he would think you are his rightful heir now."

"Let me think about it, Amad," Kili almost begged, because he knew she wouldn't give up on this. "I have a lot of time to do so, after all."

"Agreed," Dis nodded. "Do you want me to..."

"No, you don't need to stay, Amad." When he saw the look on his mother's face, he sighed and hold back a little smile. "I am serious, do not worry so much about me."

The dam finally turned on her heels, but he suddenly hold her back.

"Mother? I do not understand." She turned around and looked at him, slightly frowning. "I was asleep for more than a month, and yet, Erebor still has no King. Why?"

"Dain is ruling for now, but he is not crowned. He believed you would wake up soon, and you did."

"So... He does not want to be King either?"

"I believe he does. But you are part of his family, and it may be more important to him than the crown. Well, I hope it is."

He just nodded, and she left the room, leaving him to think about the choice he had to make.

When he woke up, he found Bofur sitting down next to his bed. He was awake and making one of his toys. He smiled when he saw what it was: a whistle. And he remembered...

Flashback:

Fili is running behind him, trying to catch up wih him. And Kili laughs, because he perfectly knows he won't. He has always been the fastest.

He hears a whistle, and sees Thorïn smiling quietly. He was the one who just blew the whistle. And Kili continues to laugh, because he wants to see his Uncle smiling again. He looks just so much younger when he smiles.

"Well, Kili, you've outrun your brother once more!" the Prince exclaimed.

He hears Fili sighing and turns to look at him. He doesn't want his brother to be angry at him... But when he sees his face, relief washes over him. He is slightly smiling. And he is certainly not mad at him.

"He always does!" Fili puts a hand on his shoulder, looking at him with pride. And his smile widens, something that he didn't think possible two seconds before.

End of flashback.

Kili suddenly heard a choked sob, and realized that he was crying, again. He was so tired of crying... And that also drove Bofur's attention away from his toy.

"Kili?" the toymaker asked quietly.

"I'm okay. It's just..." he paused, before finally continuing, "The whistle. It reminded me of... you know."

"Oh... I am sorry then." The hatted dwarf stopped talking for a few moments, before questioning, "I probably shouldn't ask you this, my friend, but... What did you remember?"

The younger dwarf didn't answer at first, but he finally spoke up, "When we were young, F-Fili and I used to run a lot. And Uncle was sometimes there, at the end of our run, and he would smile to me, because every single time, I was the one to win. And he told me that... he had bought his whistle to one of the best toymakers in the world. I believe it was you... And when he would hear that whistle, Fili would smile too, just because he's my brother and..." He suddenly stopped talking, and saw Bofur's smile again.

Finally, the dwarf with the hat stopped smiling, and became serious again.

"Have you..." he began, but Kili cut him off.

"Taken my decision?" he asked in a grim tone. "Nay, not yet, Bofur. I thought about it, but I think I need more time before I take my decision."

"I am sorry for asking this to you, my friend, but I have to know if Dain is going to become my King or not."

"You could still go back to the Ered Luin, I'm quite sure no one would hold it against you, not even him. It is your home, after all."

"Nah, it's not about it. It's just..." Bofur lowered his voice and added, "I am sure you'd be a greater King than him."

"You shouldn't speak like that. He'll be a good King. He's a great warrior, he has powerful armies, and..." He didn't finish his sentence, but the other dwarf understood him nonetheless. Dain was not... broken like Kili was. But that... he was quite sure the Prince could get better one day, with everyone's help.

He tried to convince him by saying, "And you are far more reasonable than him. You could be a great monarch too. You are not opposed to relations with the Elves."

"Because Dain is?!" the younger dwarf exclaimed. "But... He fought beside them in the Battle!"

"Aye. But still, the only Elf he seems to tolerate is Lady Aredhel, because she has healed you. No other, and certainly not King Thranduil."

"He does realize the King was probably the one to send her here to heal me?"

A little laugh escaped Bofur's lips. Not the kind of laugh he had before, but a far sadder one.

"We both know the only great King Erebor could have would be you, my friend."

The dwarf with the hat didn't let the other respond, he just stood and left the room before Kili could speak, leaving him alone to think again about this decision that he should never have had to make.

A few days had passed. Every member of the Company had now visited him, telling him about their wish to see him as their King. And of course, Aredhel would come , everyday to help him walk in his chamber. And, as surprisingly as it could seem, he had revealed his intentions to her first. And she had kept his secret. He didn't want anyone else to know about his decision, and they all ignored that he had already taken it.

He now felt much better, physically speaking, and not as dizzy as he had been before.

"Aredhel, could you lead me outside, please?" he suddenly asked her three mornings after Bofur had come to him.

"Are you sure about this, Kili?" She sounded worried, he noticed. Of course, he knew why she was. It was not only because of his wounds, they were almost completely healed now, it was most certainly because the Dwarves of Erebor would see him for the first time since he had awoken.

"Yes. I am to become the King of this mountain, so I should know about my people, don't you think? Besides, I want to see the sun again..." he murmured, a little bit of his eyes' former light sparkling into them.

"And what if we actually are at night?" she retorted quite playfully.

"We are? Am I that lost in time?" he exclaimed, a worried frown appearing on his face.

"No, we probably aren't, Kili. I will wait for you outside. If you are absolutely sure you want to do this, join me after... you know, putting some decent clothes on."

He lowered his gaze. Even if the tone she had spoken with was quite disrespectful, she had told the truth. He hadn't dressed up yet, and... Well, he only had his night clothes on. He definitely couldn't go out of his chamber dressed like this! Especially if he was to become... He frowned and stopped dead in his tracks. Was he really considering this?

He quickly changed his clothes, before taking a deep breath to calm himself down. He was sure it would be fine. And the golden sun would remind him of Fili, of his smile and his laugh, of the light he had always given him. He stopped walking again, feeling sadness overwhelming him once more. When would it stop hurting?

"Kili?" He quickly turned his gaze towards Aredhel. She was looking at him with so much worry in her eyes that he instantly felt guilty. "Are you..."

"Aye, I'm fine," he smiled. He was not completely stupid, he knew she wouldn't believe him, especially with his smile which was evidently forced.

"Then come with me. I will guide you."

He just nodded and followed her, even though he felt terribly ashamed. He didn't show it, of course, but seeing that an Elf knew Erebor better than he did just... broke his heart a little more.

"Before the Battle, did you..." The elf hesitated before finishing her question, "Before the Battle, did you stay long in Erebor? Long enough to know its walls, its halls, its stone?"

He frowned, before quietly answering, "No. Just one day and one night. And we stayed at the Gate for most of the time."

"See? Do not worry if you don't really remember here. You didn't spend enough time in here to learn about Erebor."

"I have to say, it is different from what I expected. Un-Uncle Thorïn always described it as... the mightiest of all the dwarf kingdoms of Middle Earth. And when I came in here, there were only... ruins. And it was so cold and... silent. Nothing like what Fili and I had expected..."

"You'll see, Kili... This Erebor is quite different from the one you left." Aredhel smiled slightly, and he just nodded. "It is quite lively. And yet..." She didn't finish his sentence, but he understood. He lowered his gaze, and suddenly felt a delicate hand on his shoulder. His head jerked up and he looked up at the she-elf. When he saw her face, he couldn't help but feel worse. It was as if she knew everything he was feeling, and that quite evidently worsened her mood.

"You know, you don't have to be this nice to me." These words left his mouth before he could hold them back. And surprisingly, he heard something he had never heard before... He heard the elf laugh.

"I know that, Kili. And I can assure you I am not nice to you because I think I have to, but because I want to."

He simply nodded, and his mood quickly lightened.

She just watched him. She had already come here a few days ago, so she preferred looking at him than looking at the sun, though she was glad her skin was warmed up by it. She studied his relaxed features with attention. His chin was covered in stubble, and it was unusual for a dwarf, but she had to admit that it suited him quite well. At this precise moment, his dark eyes were closed. His lips slightly twitched up when he felt the sun on his skin.

"You probably don't even know how many times I dreamt of this during the past week, Aredhel," he smiled.

"Let me disagree with you. I probably know, because I did too. You were asleep for a month, Kili, and I barely left your side-"

"You barely left my side?" he cut her off, grinning mockingly.

"You were hurt," she quickly justified herself. "Anyways, I did not have a lot of time to myself, so I can assure you that I did not see the sun more than you did."

"And I-"

"Don't tell me again that you are sorry, Kili. It was not your fault, none of it was."

He was ready to answer, but a dwarf intervened just as he opened his mouth.

"My King!" the said dwarf exclaimed from the bottom of the stairs that led to the wall they were perched on.

Kili let out a little sigh, and then he turned and looked at the apparently quite young soldier who bowed before him. He knew he shouldn't be upset, but why did everyone think he would become their King? He had not made any official declaration, he had just walked out of his chambers for the first time in a month and a half! He forced himself to smile and invited him to stand up by a small gesture.

"You appear to be quite young..." he noticed, and then asked, "How old are you?"

He then realized that he was quite young himself. Seventy-seven years... The quest itself had changed him, but the war... it was the worst thing he ever remembered. It had really marked the end of his childhood.

He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, and he froze, before recognizing Aredhel. He fixed his gaze on the dwarf again, and noticed he was slightly frowning.

"I am sorry, but I didn't hear your answer," he admitted. "I was..." He didn't finish his sentence, not wanting to reveal why he was so lost in his thoughts.

"Oh, no! Do not apologize, my King! I am a simple soldier, I do not deserve-"

"Nonsense!" the future King exclaimed. "So, how old are you, young one?"

"I am seventy, my Lord."

"And what is your name?"

"Kirin, my Lord."

He simply nodded, and the young soldier seemed to understand. He quickly bowed again and went on his patrol.

"Why is everyone aware of my decision before I even talked about it?" he wondered.

The she-elf retorted immediately, "You are the only one who doubted yourself, Kili. Everyone was quite sure you would wake up and take the crown of Erebor. And now that you are awake and walking through the kingdom, their dreams are coming true..."

He let out a deep breath and finally relaxed. Everyone had believed in him, even when he had doubted himself... He turned again towards the sun, which was shining brightly, and he remembered how it used to make Fili's hair shine.

The days passed at a speed no one could ever imagine. And finally, after two other weeks, the time finally came when he would be crowned. He had announced he would take the crown the day he had spent on the wall above the great doors of the kingdom, and since that day, everyone was so busy preparing the ceremony that even his mother and the other members of the Company hadn't visited him as often as before.

Of course, messengers had been sent to Dale and (Kili had insisted on this) Mirkwood, and Bard and his family came to Erebor that day. Thranduil himself had come to the dwark kingdom, letting his kingdom in the safe hands of his son, who had returned with him. He knew the Orcs were still rallying in Dol Guldur, preparing for... something, and Legolas was the only one he trusted with the task of looking after the kingdom and his people.

On this day, Dis helped him choose the right clothes, and when he came out of his chambers, he seemed to radiate. Not with joy, of course, because he was still mourning his brother and his Uncle, but with... authority.

Before stepping into the silent hall where all the Dwarves of Erebor stood, he took in a deep breath. He had to stay calm and stand tall. And then he moved forward, through the great door that two guards had opened for him. He imperceptibly nodded, and then moved towards the throne. His movements were still strained because of his wounds (and, he had to admit it, because of his fear of this moment too).

When he finally faced the throne (no, his throne) and the Arkenstone, he pursed his lips in anger. All that happened had come to pass because of this damn stone! He tore his gaze away from it and quickly turned towards the crowd surrounding him. He never thought he would be this intimidated by his people one day. He let his gaze wander over the crowd, searching briefly for a familiar face. A member of the Company, maybe, or his mother, or... Just... someone he knew! His eyes finally crossed his mother's, and she smiled gently. She apparently wanted to encourage him.

Dain, who was standing next to him, suddenly whispered, "Kneel now."

He obeyed and bowed his head, and he felt someone who was moving beside him. This person then faced him, and he felt almost... trapped against this throne he didn't really want.

"Long live the King," Dain's voice suddenly boomed around the hall.

And Kili felt the crown, the heavy, heavy crown, upon his head. And he slowly stood, listening to the song which rang through the large hall. "Long live the King, long live the King," everyone repeated. But he didn't feel like a King right now. Still, he inclined his head and the room slowly became silent again. He knew why. Everyone here wanted him to speak, to pronounce a great speech, but at this precise moment, he forgot what to say. He opened his mouth, but no words came out of it. He tried to think as quickly as possible of the words his Uncle would have said in such a situation, but not a single one came to his mind.

"This day is not my day," he finally spoke up. "It has come to pass because of those who fought in the Battle for Erebor. If I chose to become King, it is only so I can protect you better and prevent any more harm to fall upon you. All of you..." At this, his gaze landed on Bard and his family, and even on the elf King. "You have my eternal gratitude."

Maybe he shouldn't have spoken these words, he realized when a deep silence fell onto the great hall. Maybe they were too... His thoughts were interrupted when someone he didn't even personally knew shouted, "To the King!" And this shout was quickly repeated by every single person present in the room. Even Bard, Bain, Sigrid and Tilda joined their voices to the loud shout, but the elf King didn't bother doing something else than briefly inclining his head.

And even if Kili still felt bad, this... This was just so... terribly... moving.

He was walking amongst the dwarves, talking to a few of them, telling himself that if he got close to them, they would accept him faster.

"You cannot see it, can you?" he suddenly heard. He slowly turned on his heels and looked at Thranduil. "They already accept you, dwarf King. They already respect you. You do not need to talk to them to make them do so."

"They don't know me yet. How can they know I-"

"You are young," the elf remarked. "Too young even." He paused when Kili raised his eyebrows. "But that is not why I came to you, Master Dwarf."

"You want to know about the Lady Aredhel, right?" the dwarf questioned.

"Indeed. How is she?"

"Why do you care?" Kili hadn't meant to sound so harsh, but at this precise moment, he remembered the she-elf's words. She had told him "I have known worse" when he had apologized about his mistreatment. And that meant she had probably been insulted before, by her kin most likely! And the King...

"I care because my- because I taught her everything she knows about healing." The elf's voice was calm and slightly menacing, but Kili didn't react. Had he... misunderstood her words then?

"She is fine," he finally answered quietly.

"Good. And you are too, apparently. Well, as good as you can be... Where is she now?"

"She didn't want to come here. She said it was not her place."

"It sounds very much like her," the elf King nodded, an expression on his face that the dwarf had never seen before, not in this way anyway. Was it a little and gentle... smile? His thoughts were interrupted by Thranduil, "I hope she will return to us soon. We will need her, without a doubt."

At these words, the dwarf frowned. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Do you not have other healers in Mirkwood? If you sent her away after the Battle, it means that you do have some, then why-"

"You are far too curious for your own good, Master Dwarf," the blonde elf cut him off. "But we do have other healers in Mirkwood, they are just... not as good as her."

"Why would you need her?" Kili asked again before he could stop himself.

"Nobody told you what is happening?" Thranduil almost exclaimed. Of course, he didn't really do so, because it would have broken the expression of total indifference he almost constantly wore.

"No." The young king tried to sound as nonchalant as he could, but he knew it was quite unsuccessful.

"I do not think it is my place to reveal it to you. Ask this to the other dwarves."

And as quickly as he had appeared, the elf disappeared, leaving Kili to stare at his back while he walked towards Bard and Gandalf, who were discussing quietly not so far away from them.

After the feast, that night, Kili found himself wandering in the large corridors of Erebor. He didn't know where he was going, but when he suddenly faced the doors behind which he knew now rested his brother and Uncle, he paused. He was almost horrified. Why did he come here? And why wasn't he leaving?

He looked over his shoulder and didn't see anybody. Good... No one needed to know that he was here right now. Not even his mother or his friends.

He put his hand on the knob and pushed the door open. It was dark here, he immediately noticed. But he knew darkness and stepped forward, closing the door behind him as silently as possible. And as soon as his eyes accommodated to the darkness, he searched for the tombs of Fili and Thorïn. He knew this was quite morbid, but he needed to... at least see where they were buried, if he could not see them.

They were buried at the very end of the mausoleum. He looked at their graves grimly, and then started to speak to them. "Why did you leave me, nadad? You weren't supposed to die, and neither were you, Uncle... Or maybe I- maybe I should have died with you! Why didn't I die with you? I should have protected you both until my last breath!"

He felt something streaming down his cheeks and realized that he was crying. He kneeled before the two tombs and sobbed. And he kept on crying for a long, very long time.

Translation:

Amad = Mother (Khuzdul)

Nadad = Brother (Khuzdul)

Okay, I kind of feel like I'm constantly repeating myself, with Kili mourning Fili and Thorïn... But I don't really think I should make him just... forget about them! Tell me what you think about it: should I stop writing "too much" about it, or should I continue?

And I'm sorry too about spending so much time about the plot of the coronation and Kili's choice (especially that they all try to convince him by saying the same things, basically ^^), but it is the end of it now, because... Well, he is the King now! :)

I just want to say that Tauriel never existed in this story (which is more based on the book), so in my opinion, that's why Legolas came back to Mirkwood after the Battle of the Five Armies. In my story, Bofur used to live in the Ered Luin, even if he comes from Moria.

Anyway, sorry again for making you wait so long! And please, tell me what you thought about this chapter, and more particularly of the coronation, because that's what worries me a lot! ;)

Another thing, the title is referring to the last scene of the chapter. And one last thing, I hope that the flash-back being in the present tense did not bother you... And I am sorry if it did!

I think I will post every two weeks from now on, I'll be more able to keep that delay...

The next chapter will have the first "political" discussion in it, so I hope it won't bore you, because even in French (which is my native language), I am not sure it would be great! ;)