Chapter 7- Wanting and Agony
Me- "Wow...that break in was pretty terrifying."
Kao- "You think that was scary?! I was the one who experienced it!"
Me- "I mean, I wrote it soooo-"
Kao- "Shush"
Yoosung- "Thank god Seven was there ;-;"
Kao- "Yeah…"
Jaehee Kang- "Why was Luciel there again?"
707- "I told you! I was tracking a member of the organization!"
Me- "Also, offscreen Seven told everyone that a whole organization was behind the hacking. Not just one person."
Jumin Han- "I want some wine."
Zen- "Wtf is wrong with you."
I woke up that morning with a groan and a sore back. Slowly, I rolled onto my side and opened my eyes. An unfamiliar room stared at me silently in response, the clock on the wall ticked softly. I frowned, and sat up, glancing around, and then the memories came flooding back. I pushed them away gingerly and stood up, walking over to the door, unlocking it, and then stepping into the hallway.
The smell of freshly cooked breakfast greeted me and my stomach instinctively growled in response. Seven stood next to the counter, as he fiddled with a pan of eggs.
"Need some help there Ramsey?" I asked.
"Shut up." He muttered, casting me a glance. I smiled and leaned against the counter, watching the pan.
"I can cook myself you know." I said finally. Seven raised an eyebrow.
"This is already your bed, might as well add the breakfast." He replied. I laughed, but my grin faded when I realized that he hadn't smiled once.
"Sorry again for imposing." I added quickly.
"Can't be helped." Seven responded, he walked over to the table without sparing me a glance. I felt a twinge of pain, but followed him anyhow. "How did you sleep?" He asked finally.
"Good." I lied as I grabbed a fork and played with the eggs.
"I wasn't able to move all of my stuff out, sorry." He added.
"It's okay." I responded. The room was embraced with silence, I swallowed nervously. Had it always been this awkward? Was he annoyed? Or just tired? Or maybe both, I bit my lip and decided to abandon the thought.
Breakfast ended silently and uneventfully. Seven said he was going out and left shortly after that. I watched the door shut and the house fell under complete silence. He was mad, there was no doubt now. I sighed bitterly, I shouldn't have imposed on him. I should have gone to Jumin's house, no questions asked, but I couldn't change that now, I had to make do with what I had.
After a few minutes of doing nothing and debating what I could do, I decided to clean up the house, and make myself useful. I had gotten a week off of work due to my condition. And at the moment, I didn't feel like talking to the others, although I knew that they were worried about me. So I rolled up my sleeves and began sorting through his stuff.
Seven's place was a mess. I did my best to respect his privacy, only cleaning out the kitchen and living room, and not wandering through any of the other areas of the house. I had piled the puddles of trash and wrappers into bags, throwing them out, and cramming unuseful things into cardboard boxes and pushing them to the side of the living room.
By the time I had finished cleaning the kitchen and living room I was out of breath. I threw the last trash bag into the garbage bin and slid down the wall. Slowly, I closed my eyes and heaved a sigh. I had forgotten how annoying it was to clean. My apartment was usually so spotless. I opened my eyes and looked around proudly before checking the time. 12:05. Seven had been gone for almost 3 hours. I slowly got up and decided to make myself lunch, eating it quickly before walking into my room and slamming the door shut behind me.
The light from outside shined into the room, illuminating the bed and allowing little white specs of dust to be seen.
"You're almost done, Kao." I told myself as I began to clean the room.
Within a half an hour the room had been wiped clean of dust and junk food wrappings. I was moving the last cardboard box before a small file fell onto the floor. I stared at it blankly before setting the box down and picking it up. On it, was a small label that read 'RFA' and below it, were the red letters 'Classified'. As if this couldn't get more conspicuous.
Carefully, I began to set the file in, before my hand stopped, and I peered at it closely. Classified. I bit my lip, it wouldn't hurt to take a peek would it? I debated with myself whether I should set it back in and be on my way, or take a quick look. I decided to take a peek. I was part of the RFA after all, I would probably know all of the information.
I opened the file slowly and observed the files. Inside, the first thing I saw was the face of a beautiful girl with long blonde hair. She had emerald eyes and a kind smile. My eyes lingered to the name below the picture. Rika. So this was her? The famous creator of RFA. A spark of jealousy embraced me as I read her file. Awards after awards were listed, she seemed to be a lovely person. Status: Deceased. I bit my lip, and flipped to the next page.
I didn't realize who it was at first. But after staring at the face for a bit, I realized it was a picture of Yoosung, or at least a younger version of him. His lavender eyes were wide and he was grinning. His hair was chocolate brown and not spiked in the least, but lay slicked on his forehead.
With the file in hand I made sure the door was locked tightly and then sat on the bed, sitting cross legged. I continued to read, forgetting about the 'quick peek' I told myself I would take.
Jumin's file was next. And then Zen, and Jaehee. I blinked when I came across my file. It was a picture of me, one that I did not know where Seven had got it from. I swallowed nervously and gingerly read the description. It went something like this.
Status: Alive.
Age: 22
Full Name: Kao Shin Lee
Gender: Female
Okay, all things I already knew. I skipped a few lines and went down to the description. Good student, bla bla. Working in finance bla, bla. My eyes skimmed the lines, not finding what I was looking for until I stumbled upon the word 'adopted.' Nervously, I swallowed and read the passage that followed carefully.
Adoptive parents: Jong Gu Lee and Juwon Juyn Lee. A tingle of warmth came over me when I read their names. My eyes widened when I finally found the information I needed.
Real parents:
My eyes quickly sped to what was next to it before I was embraced with disappointment. The names had been blacked out. My fingers fumbled over the paper, flipping it over to see that it had bled onto the back as well. Why had Seven inked this out? I frowned, frustrated and angry. Nothing else in the entire file had been touched.
Suddenly, I could hear the light jingle of keys in a lock and the sound of a door opening. Seven was home. I stared at the open file in my hands and panicked. Quickly, I fumbled over to the ground, beginning to stuff the file back in it's original place.
"Kao? Did you clean this all up?" Seven asked, muffled.
"One sec!" I shouted, pausing to decide to take pictures of the rest of the file. I did it quickly, before stuffing the file in and closing the box tightly. There was an impatient knock on the door.
"Kao? Are you there?"
"Yeah, coming!" I said quickly, grabbing the box and standing up. I wobbled over to the door and unlocked it with my other hand. Seven stood in front of the door, his bright yellow eyes staring at me in mild surprise. "I was just putting this away." I lied.
"Why was the door locked?" Seven asked, glancing at the room.
"Oh, I must have locked it on accident." I said with a nervous laugh, walking towards the living room and putting the box next to the others. Seven lingered behind me.
"I didn't ask you to clean my stuff." He remarked, almost angrily.
"I know, but I had to do something to thank you." I replied sheepishly. Seven looked away, then his eyes widened slightly and he looked at the boxes again.
"You didn't rummage through anything did you?"
"No." I lied, wiping my sweaty hands on my pants. He walked over to the boxes.
"There should have been some files, I need them." Seven demanded. I pointed to the box that I had just placed down. Seven picked it up, opening the top, closing it, and walking down the hall.
"Where did you go?" I called after him. Slowly, Seven turned to face me, his eyes were narrowed and his face was emotionless and cold. It scared me.
"Stop being nosy, please. Not only did I not ask you to clean my room, but what I did is none of your concern." Seven replied icely. He opened the door to his room, slamming it behind him and leaving the hallway in complete silence. A wave of hurt came over me as I stared at his door in silence. Slowly, I trudged to my room and slumped onto my bed. That's what you get for being nosy. I told myself.
"Shut up." I muttered, holding my legs. "I'm part of the organization, I have a right to read that stuff." I added shakily, guilt and anger were rushing through my blood like adrenaline. You didn't have the right to read it. I silenced the voice in my head and buried my head in my pillow, closing my eyes and willing myself to sleep.
Seven P.O.V
I felt a wave of regret as soon as I closed the door, and as I moved to open it again, I heard her footsteps towards her room and the sound of a door closing. My hand fell from the knob and I walked to my desk, letting the box of files land on the floor with a thud. Exhausted, I heaved a sigh and sat in my chair, leaning back and putting my arm over my eyes. Had that been too much? Too little? Would she hate me?
I let my arm fall from my face and hang limply at my side. That would be for the best. After all, it was what I was aiming for in the first place, I had just put it off for too long. I had gotten too attached. Kao would back off now, and the further away she was, the better. But it didn't feel right, at all. I felt dead, emotionless, like I had lost something precious to me. Not that the feeling was new to me.
My eyes slid to the cardboard box that sat (half bent) on the floor. I rummaged through it, pulling out a single file with the red stamp 'Confidential' on it's surface. I had almost forgotten it, how stupid. I stared at it silently and then opened it, grimacing when I saw the past before my eyes. With grit teeth, I tore up the papers savagely, letting my anger rip into the helpless sheets. I watched the shreds of my past slowly drift towards the ground.
I let the empty folder drop onto the floor lifelessly and slumped onto the ground, letting my head hit the floor and closing my eyes. I didn't want to do this anymore, I didn't want to push anyone else away. I was tired of being alone, sick of it. My fingers crumbled around a shred of paper on the ground. People who came near me just got hurt, and I had to push them away. I had done this over and over again, but Kao had opened a wound that had been poorly sealed years ago. Something warm and wet fell from my eye and I blinked in surprise, letting my fingers brush my face. Tears? My jaw twitched and I rubbed my eyes. I was too old for this.
"Grow up." I muttered quietly, letting myself fall asleep.
When I awoke, the room was silent, I willed myself to open my eyes. I could feel the dried tears on my face. Softly, someone's fingers brushed my hair and my fingers twitched. My eyes flickered open and I snatched the wrist that was hovering over my face. Kao stared at me, her eyes wide as I released her arm quickly.
"What are you doing in here." I murmured, still half asleep. Was this a dream? Why was Kao in here?
"I wanted to check up on you." She responded quietly. Check up on me? Something stirred within me.
"I'm fine, you should leave." The words came out of my mouth, poisonous.
"I don't want to." Kao responded. My eyes lowered in response, and the room became quiet. Her body was covered in shadows, though the small beam of moonlight illuminated the faces of both of us. I stared at her and she peered back. This was dangerous.
"Get out." I said finally. Kao's expression changed slightly.
"Why are you acting like this?" She asked sadly, almost a whisper. My hands wrapped over her arms and I pushed her to the ground angrily. Kao's expression was a mask, I could see she was struggling to keep it free of emotions. I opened my mouth to respond, but with a start, I realized that this was almost the same position we had been in on the boat. When I had kissed her cheek. Loneliness and longing flooded through me and I stared at her lips silently. Kao followed my gaze, taking in a breath and flushing slightly. I was tired of the agony of being alone all the time. Of wanting someone I couldn't have.
I didn't even realize what I was doing before my lips crashed into hers and she gasped, her arms wrapping around my neck as my fingers curled in her hair. I had wanted to do this for so long, and as her lips moved against my own I had a feeling she felt the same. Breaking away, I cupped her face and let the fingers of my other hand trace over her lips softly. Kao's face was flushed and her lips were red, she stared at me in love and agony and my eyes widened in realization.
My hands fell from her face and she blinked. Panicked, I got up and tore open the door storming down the hallway.
"Seven wait!" Her panicked voice reached my ears and I swore, reaching the door that led outside and swinging it open. Kao called my name again but I ignored it, my mind was swirling with satisfaction, agony and regret. Quickly, I opened the door to my car, getting in and turning the key. Kao emerged from the corner of my eye, but I slammed my foot down on the pedal, the road around me becoming a blur from the tears and the speed as I ran away. Like I always did.
Note: Sorry for the short chapter, I've been pretty busy lately so I wanted to finish this up. I don't know when the next post will be but I will definitely finish this series! Eventually... Anyhow, thanks for reading everyone! Please favorite, follow, and leave a review!