"When I was 8, my parents got a divorce. It was bitter and horrible and the worst possible way to get a divorce, they hated each other," Beca began; she was trying desperately to keep the emotion out of her voice. Honestly after the whole Jesse thing and then her talk with Aubrey she was emotionally exhausted and all she wanted to do was sleep but she owed it to Chloe to at least try.
"Honestly I wasn't as disappointed by the divorce as I thought I would be. All my parents did was scream at each other and, in time, me. So I figured if they got a divorce all the yelling would stop and maybe we could try to be happy in some way," Beca let out a shaky breath and Chloe immediately wrapped her arms around the smaller girl's middle.
"Are you okay babe?" Chloe asked quietly. She pressed a light kiss to Beca's forehead and ran her free hand through the brunette's silky locks.
Beca just nodded, not trusting her voice. She collected herself and began again.
"I think the part that hurt the most was that neither of my parents wanted me in the divorce. Instead of fighting for custody, they fought over who would be b-burdened by 't-the k-kid,' Beca let out an involuntary whimper to keep the tears at bay.
"I-I'm sorr-"
"Don't even finish that apology. Don't ever apologize for that, I understand that this is hard for you. Your parents are idiots and they completely missed out on something amazing," Chloe soothed gently, tightening her grip on the younger girl.
"Thanks," Beca sniffled quietly.
"They argued for close to a month while I lived with my Dad. My mom had already moved out and was living in an apartment. Finally the judge suggested adoption as being one of their options. Getting rid of me seemed to be the only thing my parents could agree on," Beca laughed bitterly.
Chloe was frozen. She didn't have anything to say that could make this better so she just kept her mouth shut, hoping her presence alone would make her girlfriend feel a little better.
"I was stuck in the foster home for close to year. I lived with some little girl that didn't talk, all she did was cry. About a year after I got there, a couple agreed to long-term foster me. They seemed nice enough at first glance, granted I was 9 and I wasn't great at reading people. I learned they had two kids that had gone off to college and agreed to foster me until I turned 18. I think I was the second kid they'd fostered," Beca explained.
Absently, the younger girl reached down and linked her fingers with her girlfriend. Chloe had been the first person to make her feel wanted. Even though she was unearthing memories she'd sworn up and down she'd never discuss with anyone ever, Chloe made opening up seem…easier. She hadn't run away or judged her yet. The worst was still to come, but Chloe's soft yet strong arms wrapped protectively around her made her feel safe.
"They took me home with them and I realized they were nothing like I thought they were. They were…beyond horrible. The Man, Phil would get drunk all the time and scream at his wife, Jen who in turn would throw things at him. They were ten times worse than my parents. They pretended I didn't exist until my social worker came to check up on me. The only time they ever paid me any attention was when Phil was so angry that he needed to hit something, which was usually the wall and then m-me or when Jen wanted someone to scream at and blame for her problems .After a while my social worker stopped coming. I was ignored completely until I was around 15 I think. Phil and Jen split up and sent me back to foster care, said I was too much to handle for a couple going through a divorce," Beca muttered.
"I was sent to live with a man named Peter when I was 16. Living with him was the w-worst h-hell I've ever lived t-through," Beca stuttered out. She was chocking back a sob and Chloe felt her petite body tense and start shaking in her arms.
"Shhh, calm down it's okay. You can stop if you want to," Chloe promised. She would have done anything at this point to take away all the hurt and pain in Beca's past. No wonder she didn't open up to people, they always ended up breaking her trust and faith in humanity.
"N-no if I don't say it now I'm not sure I'll ever be able to," Beca answered. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and sat up, pulling slightly out of her girlfriend's arms.
"He was an ugly man really, bald, missing teeth and the ones he did have were yellow from all the cigarettes he smoked. About a month into living with him, he came home drunk one night. H-he did that a lot but that night was different. H-he brought back some friends of his. I was sleeping…or at least trying to. T-they came up to my bedroom and t-they…" Beca couldn't finish. She collapsed into sobs, tears pouring out of her eyes.
Chloe's heart broke into a million pieces at the sight of her strong girlfriend crying before her. Beca hadn't needed to finish that sentence for Chloe to know what had happened to her. She thought what happened to Aubrey was bad, this was even worse. Not sure if her touch would be welcomed or not, she sat back on the bed and waited, whispering soothing words to the younger girl.
It all made sense though, why Beca reacted the way that she did. Obviously Jesse brought back flashbacks of her first foster family, her own parents didn't want her, hence the abandonment issues and she was sensitive to touching because the only kind she'd ever known hurt her. Chloe felt like crying her eyes out, she'd grown up with hugs and love and Beca probably hadn't had a hug her entire childhood.
After about 10 minutes the crying didn't stop and Chloe was getting frantic. She yelled for Aubrey and in seconds the older girl was in Chloe's room and on the bed next to Beca.
She shot Chloe a confused glance but the ginger just shook her head, tears forming in her eyes.
"Shhh, Beca it's okay. You're in our apartment. It's just Chloe and Aubrey okay? Don't be scared, no one here if going to hurt you," Aubrey soothed. Knowing it would at least break Beca out of her trance; she reached out and lightly touched the young brunette on the shoulder, getting her attention.
Immediately the young brunette flinched away but she opened her eyes. Her breathing was still labored but it was less frantic. Aubrey and Chloe whispered calming words in her ears until the younger girl fell asleep. Tucking the girl in, Aubrey and Chloe quietly left the room and closed the door.
Chloe made it to the couch before she collapsed into a sobbing mess. Aubrey was right there beside her and collected her best friend in her arms and held her while she sobbed over her girlfriend.
"Oh my g-god Aubrey what am I gonna do?" She cried. She tightened her grip on her blonde best friend. She remembered helping her deal with her sensitivity to touch but she also wasn't in love with Aubrey, helping Beca would be much harder.
"Chlo, you've already done so much and you don't even realize it. Just be there when she wakes up, tell her that you still want to be with her and nothing has changed. Beca loves you and she opened up to you! That's so amazing Chloe, that's a huge step for her and you," Aubrey said softly. She rubbed gentle patterns on her best friend's back, calming her down.
"You're right. I love her Aubrey. I think…I might want to marry her someday," Chloe admitted, a blush tinting her cheeks.
Aubrey laughed, "Let's take it one day at a time. Besides, I bet Beca is going to propose first."
"We'll just have to wait a year or so and then we'll see," Chloe said with a wink.
"You should go wake her up in about an hour. You guys can talk and then we'll go do something fun or musical or whatever," Aubrey trailed off.
Getting up off the couch she pulled Chloe into a tight hug.
"You're an amazing person Chloe Beal. Don't let stubborn Beca push you away," Aubrey said softly.
"I won't," Chloe vowed.
Aubrey went back into her room to work on the set list for nationals and Chloe went back into her bedroom to find Beca sleeping peacefully; a small smile on the alternative girl's face. She looked so…young and innocent.
Chloe sighed and laid down in the bed next to her girlfriend. She turned on her iTunes softly in the background, put on titanium, and began to hum along, waiting for Beca to wake up.