Beca was still in shock at Chloe's tear-filled confession. Someone loved her. Someone loved her. No, Chloe Beale loved her, which was an entire league of its own. No matter how many times or ways the younger girl repeated the phrase in head she still couldn't quite believe it was real. The alternative brunette couldn't find it within herself to be angry with her redheaded girlfriend for her evasive behavior for the past day or so because she was so overwhelmed by the idea of someone being in love with her.
"If you think any harder I think smoke might literally start coming out of your ears," Chloe teased gently. She reached over and captured one of her girlfriend's small hands tightly in her own. "Care to share with the rest of the class?"
Beca smirked, her snarky comments were clearly starting to resonate with the ginger. She considered answering her question with a declaration of her own. The brunette had been meaning to tell Chloe she loved her for days now but the timing never seemed right. Even now, Beca didn't want the other girl to think that she was only saying it in response to her 'I love you.' No, Beca wanted more than that. She wanted to the moment to be special. The last person she had said that dreaded phrase to was probably her Mom, before everything happened.
She laced their fingers together through clasped hands and gently bumped her shoulder with the taller girl's, happy for any kind of contact right now that took her mind off of Jesse.
Jesse.
Even thinking his name was like dumping an entire bucket of ice water all over her, it sent violent shivers down her spine. She pictured his once friendly and charming face in her mind. How could those soft brown eyes that had once been such a source of comfort to her have transformed into the deranged evil orbs she'd been faced with just hours ago? Of course noticing her girlfriend tense up, Chloe's eyes snapped over to the smaller girl's face for any indication of the problem. She wanted more than anything to question the brunette, to peek inside her mind and understand what she was thinking between their distance relationship, Jesse's assault and her most recent confession.
By now the couple had approached Chloe's car and her inner gentle-woman took over, causing the older Bella to open the passenger's seat door for Beca and eased her into the seat, mindful that she might be sore or unsteady from the treble's unwanted advances. Beca flashed the other girl a thankful smile and positioned her legs so that one was in front of her chest being cradled against her body and the other hung naturally. Chloe frowned, she wasn't sure if this was a subconscious move on Beca's part, mostly likely in response to what had happened in the radio station or if she was simply sitting comfortably but not wanting to press, she said nothing and slipped into the driver seat.
The ride back to Chloe and Aubrey's apartment was mostly silent; the soft hum of classical music provided white noise as Beca stared out the window, lost in her own thoughts. Was she going to accept Chloe's explanation and just trust that the other girl wouldn't run away again? And more importantly, could she just move on and act as if she hadn't abandoned her when she was at her most vulnerable.
Another involuntary shutter traveled through Beca's body like a shockwave. Vulnerable. She hated the word almost as much as the feeling itself.
Chloe stole as many glances as her driving would safely allow. They'd been sidetracked by the terrible downpour of rain and made a break for the car as soon as she'd seen the anger melt away from Beca's eyes, not giving her a chance to react to Chloe's explanation or confession. The older girl would be lying if she said that she wasn't concerned with how her girlfriend would react. What if she was already too late and Beca wouldn't take her back? What if she was so triggered by her incident with Jesse that she reverted back to her most closed off state? The look in Beca's eyes before she'd led them back to the car was the only thing in her mind that kept her hopeful. The younger girl had looked at her with so much love and concern it made Chloe's heart burst. She'd promised herself that she wouldn't hurt Beca, broke the promise, and was still given another chance anyway. Her girlfriend had showed so much grace in that moment; she wanted to tell her how proud she was of her. Of course, she was slightly disappointed when Beca hadn't returned her sentiment but she knew that Beca loved her- or at least cared for her in a deep, deep way- and she was more than willing to wait for the other girl to come to terms with that before saying it back.
Burning questions still plagued the minds of both girls was they pulled into the parking lot and made their assent towards Chloe door. As Chloe unlocked the door to her abode she noticed Beca clear her throat, grimace, and gently feel her throat as if it were irritating her.
"It might be sore for a couple of days Becs, I'll talk to Aubrey," Chloe said softly.
Beca's brows furrowed "And why would you do that?"
"Because I don't want you to sing with a bruised throat. It's going to be sore, you're going to be in pain and you're not going to tell anyone and then it'll get worse and you'll be sitting out for even longer."
"It's nice to know you think so highly of me," Beca sniped.
Chloe was already shaking her head, preventing the argument from escalating. "Consider it done. The second Aubrey hears about what he did to you there's no way she'd let you practice."
Beca petulantly muttered under her breath about how unfair the other girl was being. Granted, she found it endearing that Chloe cared so much for her well-being but the Bellas practices were intense to say that least and that was exactly the kind of distraction the alt girl wanted.
Glancing around to make sure that they were around, Chloe pulled Beca into a backwards hug and wrapped her arms gently around the shorter girl's waist and tugged her against her body. Much to Beca's own surprise, she found herself relaxing in the embrace instead of being reminded of her past, recent or otherwise. A small smile played on the ginger's lips as she felt the tension retreat and the slump of Beca's shoulders. Encouraged by the positive reaction, she carefully tugged both herself and Beca to their couch. She situated herself first and pulled the dj into her lap with a gentle drag.
"You feel up to talking about it?" she asked quietly.
Beca nodded slowly. As much as she'd prefer not to revisit their issues or attack from Jesse tonight, she knew that Chloe would be restless until they did. And even though Chloe had all but destroyed her in the past few days, the brunette had absolutely no interest in retaliation.
"So where does this leave us?" Chloe pressed softly, after realizing she wouldn't receive a verbal response.
"I mean I think it's safe to say we're back together. If we were ever broken up? I don't know Chlo. The only thing I know is that I want to be with you," the dj answered earnestly.
"You aren't still mad that I shut you out?"
"Mad? I was never mad about it. Devastated would be a better word I think," she mused. "I felt like I was in some sort of zombie state or something like I couldn't function."
The older girl felt her heart crack a little deeper in her chest at hearing her love admit that her childish behavior had cut her so deep.
"I am so, so sorry Beca," she whimpered, tears leaking into her baby blue eyes and threatening to pour over.
"Hey, hey don't do that," the small Bella admonished in a murmur. "I don't necessarily like that you did that but I understand. Hell if anyone understands getting scared and running away it's me. I forgive you. And now you need to forgive you too."
Chloe sniffled tearfully and met gentle and apprehensive dark blue eyes. "What'd I do to deserve you huh?"
Beca laughed softly, reaching out and pushing a lock of red hair behind her girlfriend's ear. "I don't know but if you used all of your luck on this I don't think we can expect to be National Champions again anytime soon."
Gasping in mock offensive at her girlfriend's insinuation and she playfully pushed the other girl's shoulder. Not expecting a sudden touch, Beca flinched back harshly and the sudden jerk caused her to slip off of Chloe's lap and into the parallel seat.
"Oh my God I'm so sorry, I wasn't even thinking," she apologized profusely, upset with herself for forgetting that in an ordinary context Beca didn't like sudden touches, never mind that she'd just been triggered horribly by the scum bag treble.
Beca waved her off while trying to control her pounding heartbeat "It's okay, you didn't know I was going to do that."
"No Becs, it's not okay. We need to tell the police about Jesse."
"Yeah that's not happening," she snorted, crossing her arms.
"And why not?" Chloe challenged, not at all liking Beca's nonchalant demeanor.
"Because it's my word against his and it's not worth all the drama and stress."
"Beca he attacked you. In a place where you both work and if I hadn't walked in when I did, I-"
"But you did," Beca cut her off harshly. "You did walk in and nothing happened. I don't want to talk about this anymore tonight. I'm beyond exhausted and I know you are too. Can we please just go to sleep?"
The older girl was torn. She knew that the responsible thing to do would be file a police report and at the very least begin a paper trail of the boy's harassment but she and Beca seemed like they were in such a good place and her girlfriend appeared to be finally getting more comfortable with her, physically and the last thing she wanted to do was upset that progress.
Against her better judgment, she nodded, acquiescing to the proposal and rising off of the couch.
"I'm going to shower really quickly, I know the radio station/old music smell lingers," Beca said, breaking their contact with a lingering forehead kiss and heading off towards the bathroom.
Chloe considered following her; she knew that Beca was not at all concerned with the –nonexistent she might add – smell of the station and wanted to wash away the feelings of unwanted touch. When she heard the lock click, her decision was made for her. She sighed heavily and made her way into the bedroom, alone.
Hi. So I know that this chapter isn't that long and I haven't updated in literally forever but I've already started on the next chapter and it's so filled with ~drama~ I think you guys are going to love it. But if you guys have any suggestions or anything you'd like to see, maybe with Jesse or the other Bellas or even Aubrey, I would definitely take it into consideration. Thank you for reading! You'll be hearing from me again soon I promise.