Detective Conan Fanfiction

Kiss of Death

Chapter 35

"Bloodthirst"

[A/N: I am trying to get a new cover, but I can't seem to find a proper screenshots of CoAi. I do not want to use fanarts because the works are not mine]

Warning: This fiction is rated M. And this chapter might be triggering for others due to its violence, coarse language and sexual innuendos. Do proceed with caution and anytime you feel extremely discomfort, you may stop.

For those below 14, I strongly discourage you to read this. Please stop. I know some of you lack supervision. The heavens or whichever celestial being/deity is watching you. You may think it's like "oh, but I'm like so okay with gore and whatever". It's not just because of graphic violence. You're likely not mature enough to understand darker themes behind what are portrayed. I recommend reading rated K to T fanfics. Or maybe shounen manga.

Conan's brain seemed fuzzy. There was a buzzing sound in his head, as he was being carried to a place unknown to him. He could still see his carrier's blond hair. His tranquiliser was taken away from him, and they removed his shoes. The paralysis effect that was injected into him was still working.

Then, out of the corner of his sight, he saw a silhouette. He had low visibility, so he squinted his eye sockets, trying to figure out the shape.

"Surprised to see me?"

Conan let out a slight squeak. His throat was too dry to speak, it hurt to vocalise his thoughts.

As if the thing could read his mind, it answered. "Who am I? I'm you. Used to be you. Or have you forgotten what was it like to be me? How offensive," the figure said spitefully, becoming more evident. To his surprise, he was envisioning Shinichi Kudo - of what Conan was supposed to look like if he never ingested APTX 4869.

No.

It can't be right.

He was definitely hallucinating this. A side-effect of the paralysis serum, perhaps?

"Maybe after all these years of playing charades as a child, you have gone to become one. Stupid, weak and naive. Didn't you want to be me again? What's wrong with you now?" it taunted. Conan shook his head, attempting to get a hold of himself.

"Is it because you wanted to get back with Ran?"

I don't know - Conan answered within him.

"Don't lie to yourself. I'm part of you, so I know all of that is bullshit. It's a minor reason, but not the main one," it explained.

"We both know we had an unsatisfactory childhood. Our parents were always absent, they often go overseas, leaving us with either Professor Agasa or a babysitter to take care of us. Ran was there for us as a friend, but we never really had someone to understand us. When we talk about cases and cerebral things... it was like talking to a wall, isn't it? When we get the highest scores in tests, the teachers would compare us, and we can sense glares miles away from our desk. No one wanted to play soccer with us. When there was homework, our messages would explode, but not much when there's none. They would smile at us, give us compliments, yet when their back is turned, they say the meanest shit. Nobody wants to see someone successful so easily-"

Stop...please - he pleaded, hoping for the manifestation of his imagination to just disappear.

"And what did we do? We insulted them back. We had our egos up high and shit on them when they were at the bottom of the hierarchy. Ran and Sonoko were the only two people that we gave that exception to, and what did we do? We lie to them, for years and years, until now. Shinichi was the foulest bastard. Yet, you still wanted to be me again..? Why do you think that's the case?" it taunted.

I said I don't know! Leave me alone! - Conan tried to scream.

"It's because you don't want to go through the process of growing up again. It sucked the first time, and with the mental age gap with the others, it was going to be way difficult-"

Shut up! - he said.

"Why should I? It's the truth, isn't it? We like finding out that one truth. So why deny and deceive yourself? Aren't I conniving and self-centred? Compulsively lying and keeping secrets from everyone, bargaining constantly with Ran to wait for her... and... drum roll please - pressuring Haibara to work on the antidote, making her not sleep, without knowing that it was breaking her heart. Yes, I was horrid. But the joke's on you because you still wanted to be me!" it cackled, like a devil's whisper on a poor human soul.

He could only cry.

It made him weak. He could not deny this.

The tears had made his vision blurry, with mucus forming in his nostrils. He sniffed, wiping his eyelids with his worn-off blazer. When his sight became clear, the image of his persona vanished. As if it was a passing ghost.

He looked around once more. They were in a facility. How did they get there? Conan could not recall - did he blanked out?

"You seem to be at war with yourself," the Boss commented, smiling at him, "I used to talk to myself all the time too."

"Will it stop?" Conan asked.

"You don't see me mumbling to myself anymore, do you?" the Boss said, the sinister greenery gleam never leaving. He was still giving Conan a piggy-back.

That was enough to silence Conan.

There were many things Conan did not comprehend.

Who was the Boss? What were his motives?

So many questions. Yet, he promised he will answer all of them.

The intense buzzing in his head resumed, unforgiving as ever.

Ironically, he did not feel really threatened. He was, but not as much as he expected to. What was even more menacing to him was himself - the shadow that he had been suppressing. Was it a good sign that it was finally escaping out of the bag? His birth name and the name he came out with - there could only be one that will inhabit his body.

Buzz.

Buzz.

Buzz.

The headache was merciless, alright.

"We're here," the Boss stated, but the voice faded as Conan drifted back to unconsciousness...

"I guess it's time to teach you how to use this. Let's go to the backyard, and I'll set up some cans for you to shoot. I'll load this with air bullets, so it won't be dangerous if it ever shoots someone," Ai said to Ran, holding up a gun. They had just finished with Ran's teaching session on martial arts - Ran wanted Ai to learn how to defend herself in close combat.

As a sign of gratitude, Ai had offered to teach Ran how to shoot a gun, just in case. Though Ran would instead not want to hurt someone using such a lethal weapon.

"Okay..." Ran replied, uneasily, watching Ai hesitate to open the metallic door of the room.

Ai was afraid. She had a fear of static shocks, or whatever shocks that may come to harm her.

Relax. Kudo-kun taught you how to deal with them - she told herself.

Indeed, Conan had noticed her fear when she tried to force him to open a car door for her. Conan simply laughed at her silliness, teaching her how to overcome it. Unknowingly, the detective did not know how her fear had come about.

It was because of Gin.

"Ai-chan," she said, "are you okay?"

Ai has shaken off her contemplation. She did what Conan taught her.

That boy... little did he know that he had a great deal of impact on her - he made her face her fear, which was stemmed from a very dark secret that involved Gin.

It was only a matter of time before that secret was out of the bag.

[A/N: Remember there's episodes where it was revealed that she was afraid of static shocks and had anti-shock tools with her made by Agasa? And Conan taught her how to overcome static shocks? Yeah... I have an explanation in stored for that.]

"Remember, you get to interrogate him but don't kill him. He ordered me to kill you if you go overboard," a woman's voice spoke. It seemed like it was Vermouth.

He was bounded tightly to a chair in an empty and dusty room that was void of other furniture. He scanned his surroundings - there were only a metal door and a window near the high-end of the ceiling that was out of reach. He shook himself, attempting to wiggle his small figure out of the ropes. Yet it gripped onto him like a python, breaking his skin open and blood leaked from the ropes.

It was a pointless struggle.

The bespectacled boy stopped when a tall and burly man walked into the room, in which he would have mistaken as a humanoid monster from children's books if he was not paying attention. The man turned, making his menacing self-visible to the teen. Without warning, he gave a swift kick to Conan's stomach, causing him fall with the chair in the process. The fallen detective choked on his saliva - or maybe blood- due to the substantial impact of the man's boots.

"This is no good... I'm in a nasty mood, and this is just me demonstrating it on someone," Gin spoke.

This was not good at all. The man had eyes that were laced with crazed sadism and jealousy.

He walked over to Conan, gripping the detective's hair ruthlessly to meet his gaze.

"I couldn't get Sherry... and the Boss thinks it's unnecessary. He wanted to take that Doctor Araide instead of Sherry. Why is that? Both of them are qualified to be in the science department. I wonder why. Is it because I'll be too distracted? Such a nuisance," he muttered. Frustration was manifest in him.

Conan could only give a deadly glare towards him.

"Why that look, huh? Is that supposed to be an insult? Well, fuck you too!" Gin shouted at him, his hand still clutching on the strands of the raven-haired boy. He spat his saliva on the prisoner's face spitefully.

Disgusting.

If only Conan could wipe the contaminated slime of bacteria off.

"So back to my story... The Boss did make a deal with me to make me shut up about capturing Sherry. He said he would allow me to hurt you for once, provided I undergo surgery. I don't know what the fuck that surgery was for, but it doesn't matter. As long as I get to a have a piece of you," he lifted the chair up so that Conan could sit up, "you might be wondering why, but I'd like to think I'm protective of whatever belongs to me."

He pulled out a swiss knife.

Then, he plunged it into one of Conan's open wounds on his arm. The boy let out an ear-splitting yell, one that would have mistaken it belonged to a frightened mouse.

Gin twisted the knife.

"This is what you get for fucking with what's mine!"

Hot tears streamed dribbled down the dirtied skin, making the maniac grin like an addict high on his drug. He said grimly, "I don't know why she would hop on a detective brat's dick. Sherry belongs to me. I'll need to put that red-headed slut back in place."

Fuck no.

He could hurl all insults at me. But there's no way he'd talk to her like that - Conan was infuriated.

That was when the detective ceased tearing. He ensured he gave the most menacing glare, growling, "don't disrespect her like that! S-she belongs to herself. Not to me and definitely not to you, you fucker!"

It was as if some magical button activated Conan's anger. He went from a whimpering weak puppy to a wild dog barking for a release in his cage.

"Offended? She belongs to herself..? That's not what she made me feel last time. Or she didn't tell you that I used to make her squirm and cry?" he taunted.

The prisoner shook his head. That cannot be true, right? He yelled, "stop talking bullshit!"

"It's not bullshit if it happened-"

"Do yourself a favour and stop underestimating a person's infinite capacity for sinister secrets and nefariousness. Or do I have to spell it out for you?" he stabbed Conan once more. Thick crimson fluid leaked through the open wound, gushing down on his arm.

The boy bit through the pain. He transferred all the pain and invested it into his grim replies, "shut up... she would never-"

"But she did-"

"You bastard... There's no way she would like someone like you..."

"I didn't say that has to be one of the elements," Gin stated, "deterrence and blackmail. Whether she liked it or not."

That was when Conan noticed Gin's pendant. It was always hidden beneath his shirt. But now...it was visible to Conan. The pendant held a case that contained locks of strawberry blonde hair.

Conan's stomach sunk. Time seemed to stop for him. He could not fathom what circumstance Ai went through with this.

She must have been frightened.

She must have been consumed with self-guilt and loathing, even if it was not her fault at all.

Worst of all, Conan felt extremely remorseful that he could not have saved her at that time. And even far more insidious that she could not have trusted him enough to confide in him regarding this.

Gin...He just admitted it. He...He actually...

Good lord, Conan wished that he could embrace Ai and wash her neurotic memories away at this very moment.

He clenched his fists, despite that they were limited in his movements.

Gin needed to disappear - Conan's primal instincts screamed.

"I'll kill you!"

Without a thought, Conan's id took over his superego. Whatever was left of his belief in the justice system and self-righteousness burned into ashes. He never would have thought that he would have the desire to murder somebody. The amount of resentment was so spiteful that Gin was overwhelmed and took a slight step backwards.

He manifested all his strength in freeing his other arm, writhing and fidgeting until it came undone. The heated friction created between his skin and the yarn was painful, but he bears with it - no pain was compared to what Ai must have felt because of Gin. With his unrestrained arm, he quickly removed the weapon that was invading his flesh.

He used the knife and slashed through the air, aiming for Gin. The man immediately moved back, stunned. And when he did, Conan took no hesitation to fling the knife towards Gin. The man's reflexes activated and he dodged it, only to have it miss him by a hair strand.

The knife had stood up on the wall.

Conan breathed heavily. The adrenaline was depleting and leaving his system. That action had indeed exhausted him. He fought hard to stay awake.

It took a while for Gin to process what had transpired and what could have happened if that knife had not landed on the wall.

"Why you little scumbag-"

The metal door slid open.

"That's enough. You two might end up being at each other's throats. He's considered an asset to the Boss. Remember, Vermouth, and I are instructed to kill you if you ever murder him. Go and make yourself useful by debating what to do to the other prisoner instead," Williamine said.

Gin glared at the albino boy. "Hmph. Don't act all high and mighty right now. Remember that I was the one who picked you up from your dysfunctional family years ago," he commented, resting his index finger on the boy's head.

Williamine ignored Gin as he walked out.

Williamine walked over to Conan.

"You should just sleep. The Boss told me to bring you to the medic centre and have your wounds clean up. Don't know what the fuck's the motive for but rest assured, no harm will come to you," he spoke.

"So tired..." Conan mumbled, gradually shifting to the unconscious.

"You've finally felt the wrath of murderers who have personal motives," he commented, "I wonder if a detective like you could ever uphold to your beliefs if you are left in this state for too long."

[A/N: Please note that this is fiction. It's not real. I took an Introductory Psychology module and hallucinations are commonly auditory. It's just an extreme projection of his inner thoughts in the form of Shinichi Kudo. A literal metaphor of "talking to oneself"

Also, I have been debating with myself what could be possibly going on with Gin and Shiho. It was extremely difficult to decide since Shiho is my beloved character. It just pains me to write this up. But she's too afraid of him to just dismiss it as "maybe he's just obsessed" or "they used to be in a romantic relationship". Like, I don't see a reason why Shiho would even love Gin in the first place. There has to be a reason why he knows a lot about her and why she is fearful of him. Of course, the canon explanation might be very far from what I wrote.]