Barry is still a teenager here. Oliver, is the arrow. And there is a little bit of age gap between the two. You can also check more of the tags on the other platform where this story is also published.

Just a reminder, there are OC and OOCs in my story. There will be Glee characters that might appear in the future.

Enjoy!
_

August 15, 2011

Dear Mom, Dad, Papa, Mama and Bianca,

Hello. Are you having a tea party in heaven? Are you singing too? Dancing? I hope you do.

Mom….Dad, are you having a good conversation with Mama and Papa? Oh, by the way they will teach you how to use Sign Language so that you can talk to Bianca too. They might also tell you how my self confidence in Dalton is immeasurable. But I think you already know it, because I know you always watch over me.

Mom, Bianca loves the story about the Dinosaur that you used to read to me before I sleep.

It's been 5 years, but your voice is still crystal clear to me, every time I read the story to lil' sis. I mimic how you read it, although I have to do some sign language so that she could understand me and it works. I miss your kisses too, same as Dad's. I miss Dad calling me slugger.

Mama, Papa, and my lil sis - it's been 2 months. I miss you terribly. So much.

Today, I am in my childhood bedroom in the West Home. Joe is my Foster Father now and Iris is my foster Sister. And by the way, Iris has a boyfriend now his name is Eddie Thawne - he is Joe's partner in CCPD. He is also part of the family now. I have a crush on him before, but I now see him as a Big Brother.

They are so kind to me, so patient with me, that sometimes I don't deserve it. Because, I can't force myself to have my real smile and laugh. I smile but I know that they are aware that it is only forced. I can see it on Joe's and Iris eyes, they are sad because of me and I hate it.

But, I can't help feeling like this. The Darkness is eating me up. I can't get out. It is so hard.

Mama…..Papa….I am so sorry. I did everything in my power to save the Smythe estate, but it was taken by the Government, they said that we owe them a lot and so is your stocks from big companies, they are gone too. I don't know what it is or what happened. Joe helped too in saving our house and investigating the anomalies. Even our family lawyer said that…..

Nothing is left….

Our memories are there….

I want to save it and I don't really care about the money…..anymore...

I feel sorry for our Butler Luca and our Chef Adriana, they cried and hugged me so tight. "Be a good boy young master"

Can I just wish for my family to come back to me?

Please be back…..everyone….

I promise I will visit all of you soon. I am preparing for something big...

And I hope you like the new Mausoleum with the name engraved outside - Allen & Smythe. I decided that the design will be roman inspired, I also put pictures of you. So that people would never forget how beautiful my family is.

I will go to bed soon….

I am so sad…..I really really miss you guys….

Sleep is my only friend….

It makes me dream of you…

I love you...

With so much sadness and badly misses you,
Your Bear

P.S. I decided to use Bear now, because that's what you love to call me.

March 18, 2006

Newspaper Headline:

Allen and wife Nora, found dead at their home

Famous Doctor Henry Allen and his wife Nora, was found dead on their home earlier at 2 am. The cause of their deaths was a stab in their chests. Leaving their 11 years old son Barry Allen, orphaned.

According to investigations lead by Detective Joe West, Barry saw a man in yellow lightning that is trying to kill his parents. "It was like a whirlwind of lightning surrounding Mom and Dad, there was a man in it with scary red eyes, they told me to run. But I couldn't, I was so scared. The next thing I knew I was a feet away at our home." - the boy stated. The authorities, however didn't give any final words for this matter. The case remains unsolved.

April 30,2006

To my Mom and Dad,

Why did you leave me alone? Where are you? I am so scared. I can't sleep even if I hug my stuff toy Tigger or even if Iris sings me a lullaby. It is still different. Mom, please sing a lullaby to me….please?

You said when I write to you, you will come back. You and Dad will come back, right? You promised.

I love Joe and Iris, but it is still different.

They don't believe me that I saw a man in yellow. Joe, brought me to a Doctor. I am not sick. I am not lying. I saw him. I am so scared.

Now, I am hiding at the side of the stairs. I am hearing Joe talking to Uncle Antoine and Auntie Lilian, they want to take me away and change my name too. I dun wanna…..

I will wait for you. I am just here at Joe's house.

Please pick me up.

Love,

Barry

August 30, 2011

Dear Joe and Iris,

I want to thank you for everything that you have done to me. I am so grateful for it. Sometimes, I don't think I deserve your unconditional love. You see, I am so broken now. I feel so lost and empty.

Please don't think that you were not able to fill the void in my heart, because you both do.

It's just that I felt guilty every time I see your eyes sad because of me. I don't want you to think that I didn't appreciate all the efforts and care that you are giving me. Maybe, I am just getting tired of losing so much people in my life. And I don't want to lose you both. I don't want something bad that will happen to both of you. I don't want my bad luck affect you.

That is why I have come to this decision to go somewhere, to remove my bad luck forever. Somewhere peaceful and quiet.

I love you Joe and Iris so so much.

Love,
Your son and brother Barry

P.S. Eddie, don't you dare hurt my sister and I will hunt you down.

To: Dad
Fr: Iris

Iris(11:34 am): Dad, me and Eddie will go to Holy Trinity Cemetery. Barry left a letter and he left the house. He said goodbye, but he never brought his things. I hope he won't do something stupid.

Dad (11:37 am): Okay Baby give me a call please once you find him.

Iris (11:39 am): I will Dad. I will. I am so anxious right now. Oh God.

12:30 pm

********Incoming Call Iris*********

"Hello Iris, have you found him?" Joe answered anxiously.

"Dad! Oh my god. Oh my god. *sobs* me and Eddie are on our way to Central City Hospital…..*sobs* Daddy...Barr...yy...he….he slashed his left wrist…..too much blood….he...he...looks so pale….he lost too much…..*sobs*...I am putting pressure now…*continues crying*

"I will be there Baby, just hold on for Barry and calm down."

*********Call ended at 12:35 pm*******

As Joe ended the call from Iris, he felt that his world stopped, like he was submerged in a cold water with ice. He sat down in his chair, and he was absorbing what had happened to his Foster Son.

He never thought that Barry planned to end his own life.

He knows Barry is suffering from depression, the boy even neglected eating this past two months, the boy looks pale and thin. He knows Barry's fake smiles. He should have seen this sooner, he should have asked for professional help. But this is not the time to blame himself.

He has to be strong for Barry.

He will be Barry's pillar of strength. And he will do everything in his power to protect his boy.

He will never fail Henry, Nora, Antoine, Lilian and Bianca.

Joe stood up and rushed to Central City General Hospital.

As Joe arrived at the Hospital he instantly saw Iris and Eddie. His daughter looked like a mess. She ran towards Joe and hugged him so tightly. Sobbing. "What happened?" although Joe knows, he still wants to hear every detail in person.

"When me and Iris went to your house to bring Barry his lunch, we saw his letter saying goodbye. Iris knew something was wrong and her hunch is correct, Barry went to his Family's Mausoleum. When we arrive there we saw Barry unconscious, his left wrist is bleeding so much. He also has cuts in almost his whole arm. His breathing is shallow, his pulse is weak and he looks so pale. I carried him to the car, while Iris puts pressure on his wound on the backseat. By the way Joe, here is Barry's Letter and he is currently at the Emergency Room." after Eddie explained everything he handed the Letter to Joe.

An hour later, the Doctor who attended to Barry got out of the Emergency Room."Are you 's guardian?" He eyed both Joe and Eddie.

"I am his Foster Father. How is he Doctor?". Joe asked anxiously, still holding Iris in his arms.

"Your son suffered in hypovolemic shock, he lost too much blood. And he is also malnourished. We were able to stabilize him, he will be transferred to a private room." the Doctor explained.

"Thank you so much Doctor. Come on Baby, let's go to Barry." Iris nodded and Eddie also followed.

When they entered Barry's Room, they can hear the beeping sounds which monitors Barry's vitals. An IV and blood bag has been administered to Barry, he is also breathing through a Nasal Cannula. He looks so pale, his whole left arm has been covered with bandage. He looks so thin, so fragile. There were also bags in his eyes. His cheeks are almost hollow. Joe and Iris, cried at the sight of Barry.

They approached Barry's bed and they hold his hand. And at the same time Joe reads Barry's letter. The three of them seek solace in Barry's room, praying that Barry will be okay.

September 3,2011

"Dad, it's been 3 days you barely eat or sleep, you can go home to change and take a nap. I will take it from here." Iris looks at his Father with deep concern.

"I will, when Barry wakes up." Upon Joe's statement. Barry slowly opened his eyes.

"Barry you're awake! Dad I will call the Doctor." Iris exclaimed.

"Wa...ter…..Joe? What…..hap...pened?." Barry asked in a confused tone.

"Son, please don't do it again. We almost lost you." Joe helped Barry to get up to, so that he can drink his water.

After Barry drank his water, he was now aware on where he is and it hit him, he knew what he did the days prior. He looked at Joe with so much regret and tears in his eyes. "Joe, I am so sorry…..please forgive me….forgive me please?" Joe's heart crushed at hearing how Barry pleads for his forgiveness, it reminds him of the 11 years old version of the boy.

"I forgive you. I love you Son." Joe gave Barry a warm hug.

"I love you too Joe. Sorry for making you and Iris worry. I regretted everything. Promise, I will never do it again." Barry sobs after saying those words to Joe.

After the Doctor checked on Barry, he can stay at the hospital within a week and he can be discharged, much to Joe and Iris relief.

September 14, 2011

Dear Mom, Dad, Papa, Mama and Lil Sis,

I am so sorry for what I did. I know how horrible it is, I deeply regret it. I feel so ashamed. And I know, how much you nagged at me, I heard all of you during my long sleep. Kicking me out to wherever you are.

I am out of the hospital now as you can see. I am grateful for Joe and Iris support. Don't worry I will seek professional help. I will get through this. Although, these wounds in my arms will turn into scars. This will be a reminder of the old me.

Joe also said that because I was not able to make it on time for University and my scholarship were cancelled due to my emoness and stupidity(sorry I just lost my drive and motivation, you know the reason why), he will support me on my schooling. Don't worry about your genius son I can catch up to them. But, I need to heal first, mentally, emotionally and physically - I need to eat lots of food of course, I am still 16 years old and I am still growing.

Since, I don't want to be a burden to Iris and Joe, I might do some part time job. I will use my talent on that. Don't want to waste my Warbler singing voice.

And Mama and Papa, I decided to use my birth name Bartholomew Henry Allen. But I can still use Sebastian Smythe, when it is needed. I just don't want to run away to my painful past anymore.

Mom and Dad, I will still catch that person. I promise you.

To be honest I feel so light now.

I can smile...I feel so happy!

Like a burden has been lifted on my shoulders…

Just watched over me, okay? Always! Invisible pinky swear!

And I realize it now, I still have a family. I have Joe, Iris and Eddie.

I am not alone anymore. Because, I now know that all of you lives in my heart forever, together with these wonderful memories that will always makes me smile. Your lives might have ended not the way we wanted to, but I know you want me to be happy.

I promise that I will live my life to the fullest.

I decided too that I will make new memories with my family - Joe, Iris and Eddie, and the people that I will be meeting in the future.

I hope you love the Flowers I brought to you.

It's called Daffodil.

It means New beginnings.

I love you all!

With all the smiles and love,
Barry your Bear