As soon as the numbers in the infirmary started to go down, I was dismissed from the wards. Steve and Loki were both released to recover in their own quarters. I was sitting at a quiet breakfast with Thor, Jane, the Three, Tony, Sif and Bruce one morning when Loki walked in, standing stiffly in the doorway. "Brother, are you unwell?" Thor inquired in concern, rising.
"I am as well as can be expected, given my injuries," Loki replied coolly.
"Should you not be recovering in your room?" Loki shook his head impatiently, stepping closer.
"No, Thor. What we should be doing is considering the future of Asgard." Thor took a deep breath, seating himself again.
"You wish to discuss the throne."
"I wish to know your intentions. You abandoned your kingdom in favour of being a 'good man' and living a normal life with your love before. Have you decided against that this time, or is it still your intention to reside in Midgard?" Thor sighed, looking at Jane pensively.
"I have a duty to Asgard, of course…"
"But your heart isn't in it, Brother," Loki commented softly.
"And I suppose yours is?" Sif challenged. Loki turned his bright green eyes on her piercingly.
"Where else would my heart be, Sif?"
"If you wish to take the throne, Loki, say so," Thor demanded. Loki turned his gaze back to him calmly.
"If you wish to reclaim the throne, Thor, the people will not follow me."
"They are unlikely to follow you anyway," Fandral pointed out. Loki narrowed his eyes at him. "Everyone knows that you are Jotun, Loki." Loki clenched his fists, green lights flickering along his fingers.
"If Thor chooses to abdicate again, Asgard shall need a new ruler. Have you been raised and educated since early childhood to become the King, Fandral?" he challenged in an icy tone.
"Asgard has not yet been made aware of Loki's accomplishments protecting our realm," Thor rumbled pensively, folding his hands before himself. "During the post-battle celebrations, we will make it known that Loki was responsible for the plans which led to our victory. Then we shall see whether or not the people will be receptive to having Loki as their King."
"In the meantime, if you will make all the necessary arrangements for the celebrations and tributes to our fallen, I shall see what can be done about the rebuilding of Asgard's homes and defenses."
"Of course, Brother." Thor agreed to Loki's suggestion amicably. "If you need any help…"
"I'll be sure to speak with you," Loki drawled, turning and stalking from the room with all of his usual grace. I watched him go, noting the stiff way he held his torso, and sighed, taking another bite of my toast.
"You okay, Pet?" Bruce inquired gently at my huff. I smiled at him tiredly.
"I'm fine, Bruce. Perfectly healthy, thank you."
"And Loki?" the doctor continued shrewdly. Thor glanced at him sharply before turning his vivid eyes on me. I laughed faintly, shaking my head.
"A matter of time, I think."
"I concur. Will you manage?"
"Better than you would. Don't worry, Bruce. I'll keep an eye on the Hulk's favourite playmate."
"Don't let him bully you away," Bruce warned. "Loki needs help as much as the rest of us."
"Yes, I know," I sighed, picking up my teacup. "You do keep me busy." I sipped my tea.
"Forgive me, but what are you both talking about?" Thor finally interrupted.
"Loki's eventual breakdown," I responded plainly, setting my cup down. "He's injured, exhausted and intent on proving himself worthy of the throne. That is not a combination that will end well, Thor." Thor sighed, shaking his head gravely.
"I should speak to him…"
"He'll just cut you down, same as the rest of us," Tony snorted, rolling his eyes. "If that psycho wants to tear himself apart, let him. I'd not lose any sleep over it."
"In spite of the fact that it was his careful planning and protective instincts that got us through this war with minimal casualties and no damages to the other realms, including Earth?" I challenged darkly. Tony shrugged.
"Hey, I know you and Loki are close, Kid, but the guy threw me out of my own window. It's not exactly something you forgive and forget."
"But you'd forgive and forget if he threw you out of someone else's window?" I asked, amused by the statement. Tony shrugged, looking at me, deadpanned.
"It's the principle," he insisted, unable to keep his lips from twitching faintly. I laughed, shaking my head.
"Alright, Stark. I'll not argue." Thor rose with a heavy sigh.
"There are arrangements that need to be taken care of… Ellie, may I speak with you?"
"Of course," I agreed, standing and allowing Thor to usher me from the room.
We walked down the hallways in silence for a few moments before Thor spoke. "Ellie, might I presume to ask you to watch over Loki? If he is in danger…"
"He'll not confess it until the danger is upon him, Thor, whether I watch him or not. You know how prideful Loki is." Thor looked at me grimly.
"Then you will not?" I quirked a brow at that.
"Of course I will. I'm just asking you not to make Loki's health my responsibility. Your brother is old enough to make his own choices."
"But he will listen to your council." I laughed, pushing my fingers through my wild curls and shaking my head.
"Would that it was so," I lamented in wry humour.
"You have managed to sway Loki before, on many occasions," Thor remarked, frowning in confusion at my comment.
"Yes, but only when he was in pain, Thor. Loki will listen to me when he has no other options, and only then."
"I see," Thor sighed resignedly. "Very well. I would still like you to keep an eye on Loki. If something does happen to him, I would feel more comfortable knowing that you are there to help him." I nodded solemnly.
"I will watch him. I promise." Thor smiled, taking my hand and lifting it to press a gentle kiss to the back before sweeping away, leaving me standing in the middle of the corridor, mulling over how I ended up responsible for managing one of the most unpredictable and mysterious characters in all legend… This was not what I signed up for joining Shield!
The next afternoon saw me wandering through the streets as Asgard was rebuilding. I was seeking Loki; I knew he would be located somewhere near where most of the damage had occurred. It wasn't long before I found him and paused, watching as he picked something out of the rubble of the partially ruined house that was being reconstructed and looked over to the group of Asgardian civilians standing nearby. He walked over to them slowly and crouched before three young girls. "Was this your house?" he asked gently. The girls nodded nervously, crowding closely to their mother and holding their soft dolls tightly. "I take it that this belongs to you, then." Loki held out a colourful ball to the girls and they looked up at their mother uncertainly. The woman nodded encouragingly and the youngest girl stepped forward to take the ball.
"Thank you," she whispered. Loki smiled faintly.
"Go and play; leave the grown-ups to all the boring work," he advised, nodding towards a clear patch of the street just along the way. The little girl looked at the clearing before glancing back at Loki shyly and he winked at her, straightening and stepping back. The three girls ran off to play with their ball and Loki sighed, turning back to the house as it rumbled ominously, shedding rubble. Loki held up his hand and green light flashed, clinging to the stone. "Someone brace this door; the whole structure is about to collapse!" he called. Within moments, three workmen had shoved thick wooden beams into the doorway and Loki released his hold, sighing again and running his fingers through his hair. I stepped up behind him and waited until he turned and blinked in surprise, stepping back from me slightly. "Ellie."
"One of the manservants told me you were up and gone by daybreak this morning," I commented.
"Yes," Loki confirmed, walking along the street and trusting me to fall into step with him as he casually sent arcs of his magic out, pushing aside debris and shifting it to reinforce the crumbling structures around us. "There is much to do, Mouse." As if to emphasise his point, a man approached Loki, bowing respectfully before handing him a scroll. Loki unrolled it, reading as we walked, and I waited patiently until he nodded, handing the scroll back to the man.
"Tell them to salvage whatever they can for the families before demolishing the buildings. The displaced are being accommodated in centres near the palace; make sure they are seen to."
"Yes, My Lord," the man accepted, bowing again and walking away.
"You set up the centres?" I asked.
"Yes, I oversaw their construction and supply," Loki replied distractedly, halting to watch a few of the workers for a moment before moving on.
"And you've organised these reconstruction teams?"
"Yes. Thor is working on boosting Asgard's morale in the aftermath; I am left to direct the practical, everyday matters."
"When's the last time you ate?" Loki stopped abruptly, blinking at me.
"Excuse me?"
"Food, Loki. Sustenance. When did you last eat?"
"Yesterday morning. I have been much occupied, and I haven't really been hungry."
"You need food," I told him firmly, holding out the bundled oilcloth I was carrying to him. "You must keep up your energy, especially if you're going to continue working like this." Loki unwrapped the cloth with a curious frown to find two slices of buttered bread, cheese and an apple contained therein. He smiled, lifting his eyes to mine.
"Thank you, Little Mouse."
"Well, if you don't have time to look after yourself, that means I have to do it," I shrugged casually. "I don't recall signing up for sitter's duties, but I've got the hang of it over the years, I think. Training with the Avengers and whatnot." Loki laughed faintly, biting into the crisp green apple and sucking the spilled juice off his hand, casting his gaze over the work surrounding us critically.
"I am perfectly capable of managing my own affairs, thank you, Mouse."
"You will be careful, won't you, Loki?" I asked softly, reclaiming his attention. "I'm worried about you. And don't even think about telling me that you are perfectly well and all of that nonsense, because you were seriously wounded and it's been less than two weeks since."
Loki's eyes chilled instantly and he sighed impatiently, swallowing his mouthful. "Ellie, this is not your concern," he rumbled coolly. "Asgardian politics has nothing to do with you, and I have neither the time nor inclination to explain to you the intricacies of ruling." I took a deep breath, staring at Loki resolutely.
"I am insulted that you do not believe that I understand exactly what you are doing here, but I have others to care for and I have wasted enough of my time on you. Now, if you will excuse me, I still need to find Bucky." I turned on my heel sharply and stalked away without a backwards glance.
The following weeks were busy as shelters were managed, homes were under construction and celebrations were planned. I was kept on my toes in watching over my friends, including enlisting the help of the wait staff to keep Tony from drink, seeing to it that Bucky was not slipping back into his old habits of questioning his moral standing, stopping Steve from overworking his shoulder in his restless haste to recover his previous mobility and comforting him and Eric in their moments of mourning for their losses. I also kept my promise to Thor and continued to shadow Loki from time to time as he went about his work distractedly, a weary, pensive scowl permanently affixed to his face. I know that he noticed my presence, but we did not speak again after our little conflict previously. I had known that Loki would not appreciate my interference, and so I waited. I did not need to wait long…
It was less than a week away from the planned revels when I was biding my time in the small library in the nobles' quarters, awaiting Loki as he passed through on one of his many errands. I heard voices and recognised Loki's as one of them, so I closed my book, set it aside, and approached the doorway to watch him pass. There was a man with him, reading out something on a clipboard as he followed along behind. I narrowed my eyes in concentration; something about Loki did not seem quite usual. There seemed to be a sort of faint flickering across his skin, like a fading magic, and he was moving sluggishly, so unlike his ordinarily smooth, purposeful gait and gestures. "I shall attend to these matters tomorrow," Loki suddenly told the man following, halting abruptly by a hall table and pressing his hand flat against it.
"My Lord…"
"Tomorrow; now go!" Loki ordered sharply. The man bowed and fled the wing immediately. Loki grimaced, passing a hand across his face which produced a rippling of green light. I stepped further out of the doorway, frowning in quizzical concern.
"Loki?" I called hesitantly. Loki's knees buckled and he crumpled to the floor limply. I gasped, loping swiftly towards him and kneeling at his side. "Loki!" I rolled him onto his back and cupped his face to turn it towards me before yelping and letting go as a sharp tug pulled at my palms. I blinked in surprise, looking at Loki's marbled grey skin and frowning again.
Tentatively, I laid my palm against his cheek and winced as the pulling feeling grabbed me again, sucking at my energy with much more force than he had done in Miami. "Oh, Loki, what have you done?" I muttered, pulling my hand away from his skin and looking around distractedly as I tried to think of what to do. With a huff, I stood quickly, picked up my skirts and raced to the doors at the end of the hall, pushing them open slightly and looking out into the next corridor. "You there!" I called to the nearest servant.
"Lady Ellie," he replied, bowing.
"Summon Thor here immediately. Tell him Ellie says it's urgent."
"Yes, milady," the servant acknowledged before taking off at a sprint. I turned away, letting the door fall shut, and rushed back up the hall to where Loki was lying sprawled awkwardly. I chewed on my lip anxiously, rubbing Loki's shoulder and repeating his name in a vain attempt to rouse him while I waited for Thor.
He arrived quickly, flying through one of the windows with Mjolnir and landing in the hall, speaking before he even stopped moving. "Ellie, I am told you asked for me. The servant said you seemed panicked."
"Thor, I can't lift him," I responded hastily. "And I can't touch him; he is too drained. I tried to lift his head and he started drawing on my energy. I'm getting a headache already, and it was for less than ten seconds!"
"Loki!" Thor breathed, stunned into stillness before coming swiftly to my side and unceremoniously gathering his brother into his arms, looking down at me with grim expectation of instruction.
"His room," I decided, striding quickly down the hallway. Thor overtook me and tried the handle, shaking the door violently before shoving his shoulder against it.
"There is some sort of enchantment on the door," Thor growled. "I cannot enter."
I frowned in frustration, chewing on my lip as Thor shifted his hold on Loki. I tried the handle half-heartedly and felt it turn slightly. Blinking in surprise, I twisted the knob and pushed the door open with ease, sharing a look with Thor. Wondering briefly why Loki's spell would allow me to access his chambers but deny Thor, I led the way over to the bed and hurriedly pulled down the covers. Thor gently settled Loki on the bed, his eyes anxious and full of affection. "He needs energy, Thor. Bring water and a clear broth to feed him. I will go and find some gloves so I can check his wounds." Thor nodded sharply and we both exited Loki's bedchamber swiftly. I ran to my room on the far side of the noble's wing and rummaged through my Asgardian clothing until I found a soft, thin pair of white kidskin gloves. I hurried back to Loki's room, pulling them on as I went, and seated myself on the bed beside him, quickly stripping him of his tunic, undershirt and bandages and staring in horrified enthrallment at the three arrow wounds. They were oozing a thick, partially congealed blood and the flesh surrounding them was darkly bruised as through someone had pressed stoppers into them, torn threads looped around the edges. "What in the nine realms?" I breathed. I shook my head, determining to send Thor for a healer upon his return, and turned my attention back to Loki's face.
I sighed in sympathy, smoothing his hair back gently, frowning when he remained completely unresponsive. Thor returned with a tray and set it on the bedside table. "I got the water in a pitcher. I thought the spout would make it easier."
"Yes, of course. Thank you, Thor; good thinking. But now Loki needs a healer." Thor nodded and disappeared for a few moments again before returning, standing at the end of the bed with his arms crossed tensely, staring at his brother in distress.
"Look at him, Ellie," Thor murmured, swallowing. "The last time I saw him like this, he was dying in my arms… I know it wasn't real, but… it hurts me to see him like this."
"I know, Sweetie. I'm doing the best I can," I responded quietly, carefully trickling water into Loki's mouth and watching closely. There was a faint movement at his throat and I poured a little more, seeing his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. I gave him a few more mouthfuls of water before setting the pitcher aside and picking up the bowl, taking a spoonful of the broth and sipping it to test the temperature. It was warm without being hot, so I cautiously tipped a spoonful into Loki's mouth. He swallowed again and I continued to feed and water him until he started to stir, groaning lowly and furrowing his brow, shuddering.
"Ellie, can I help at all?" Thor asked timidly. I sighed, looking back at him.
"You can give him some energy, if you've got aught to spare." Thor stepped forward immediately and knelt beside me, clasping Loki's hand in both of his and hissing, baring his gritted teeth. Within moments, Thor released his hold on Loki, falling back into a sitting position unsteadily and blinking rapidly, lifting his hand to his head with a groan. Loki gasped sharply, eyes flying open, and I jumped in fright at the unexpected sound. With a broken cry, Loki sat up, pushing both his hands against his belly as green lights flowed and flashed all over him and he panted heavily between deep moans of agony.
"No, Loki, stop!" I pleaded, pushing his hands away from his wounds. "Don't use your magic; stop it now!" Loki whined again and bent forward, wrapping his arms around my ribs and laying his forehead on my shoulder, breathing heavily and grabbing my hair in his fists, trembling violently. I hushed him gently, stroking his hair and rubbing his back soothingly. Slowly, Loki's breathing quieted and his shaking eased into intermittent tremors. I shifted forward to lay Loki back against his pillows and he let me go, lying limply and groaning, squeezing his eyes shut.
"What happened?" he wondered.
"You finally tore yourself apart," I told him softly, stroking the hair back from his temple. His pale green eyes opened and fixed on me. "You haven't been eating, you've barely slept, you didn't give yourself any time to heal, and you've been relying on your magic to keep you going; only now you haven't the energy to feed it."
Loki sighed, closing his eyes and Thor stood quietly. "Loki." Loki looked up at him coolly. "What happened to your wounds? I have never seen anything like that before." Loki closed his eyes again, grimacing impatiently.
"When it became apparent that I could not move around without tearing my stitches, I started using magic to hold myself together."
"That is terrible; why did you not seek help, Brother?" Loki smirked, huffing a bitter laugh.
"Who would help me, Thor? Who would care?"
"I'm sitting right here, you bastard!" I snarled. "Why am I never enough for you?!" I stood quickly and left the room, slamming the door behind myself in my anger and frustration and stalking down the corridor, passing a healer on her way to Loki. I pushed open the doors at the far end of the nobles' wing and started towards the front of the palace only to have something connect with my abdomen. I looked up at Steve, who withdrew his hand slowly, gazing back at me uncertainly. I sighed, bowing my head. "Why is everything so hard, Steve?" I groaned.
The soldier clicked his tongue and put his arm around my shoulders. "I think it's about time you let someone else do the saving, El. Come on; let's get you somewhere safe." I nodded compliantly, allowing Steve to escort me wherever he wanted. We ended up in a secluded section of the gardens, surrounded by thick shrubbery and sheltered under vast weeping willows. Steve sat down on the grass and gently pulled me down next to him, wrapping me in his little Asgardian cape. "Don't worry, El. You get some rest and I'll watch over you, okay? You don't have to worry about any of us now; I promise we can take care of ourselves for an hour or two." I smiled, turning towards Steve and tucking myself into his side, resting my head on his chest and listening to his slow, steady heartbeat and soft, even breathing.
"How did you know exactly what I needed you to say, Steve?" I wondered quietly. Steve sighed, shrugging.
"Well… I guess it's because I know you, Ellie. You were wearing that look you get when you're worrying over someone, so I guess I just thought you could use someone to worry over you instead for a little while."
"Thanks, Steve. It's nice to know I've got someone here who's looking out for me."
"Always, El. I'm here whenever you need me."
"Honestly and truly?" I asked, looking up into Steve's deep blue eyes. He smiled, cheeks darkening faintly.
"Yeah, Ellie. Honestly and truly. And you know any one of the Avengers would help you in any way they could, right?" I nodded, looking down again.
"Yes, but I can't ask, and they never know."
"Well, I know." I nodded again, Steve's warmth helping me to relax muscles I hadn't even realised were tense.
"I love you, Steve."
"Love you too, Ellie." I sighed, shifting comfortably, and shut my eyes.