The Heartbeat

Chapter 28

"The Vows"

Camelot without Sir Lionel and his games became a quieter and nicer place. People were still talking about their king and his love life but it was mostly treated as a sensation, and not as something completely bad. Obviously there were still people in the kingdom who considered such acts wrong and inappropriate, but they didn't dare to voice their objections openly. All in all, Arthur was a good king and what he chose to do behind the closed doors with the Court Sorcerer was his own business.

Arthur was grateful for such turn of events. It wasn't perfect because he wanted to share his happiness with the whole world, but he knew it couldn't be like this. Keeping things quiet was more reasonable in these circumstances. Fortunately, Merlin didn't seem to mind it. He was thankful for the silent acceptance they received from the kingdom and the rest didn't matter.

They were happy but Arthur wanted to do something special for the man he loved. It was clear to him that they were going to be together until the end of the world, no matter what. They were going to argue a lot like an old married couple, but despite all their differences, in the end they were always going to find a common ground. Their love was stronger than all the obstacles. Arthur was certain of that.

The king had a plan. He wanted to make an honest man out of Merlin, despite what other people could think about it. Arthur knew that he couldn't make their relationship truly official, but the truth was that he only cared about what Merlin thought about this matter. That was why he approached Merlin one evening and told him that they needed to talk.

Merlin instantly tensed, as Arthur sounded quite serious and nervous. He had no idea what could have such an effect on him.

"I promise it's nothing bad," Arthur assured him quickly. "You can say no if you don't like the idea and then I won't bring this subject up ever again."

His words didn't calm Merlin down at all. "What is it?" he asked worryingly.

Arthur sighed lightly. "You know how much I care for you, Merlin, and nothing will change that," he said. "We live in the world where the relationships like the one we have are perceived odd or even wrong."

"We received a lot of acceptance from your people, Arthur," Merlin said quickly. "More than we could ever hope for."

"I know and I'm happy about it but certain things won't be accepted," he continued. "You asked me once if I would marry you if you were a woman. The answer is yes and I hope you know it."

"I do, Arthur. I would marry you too if that was possible."

Arthur smiled softly at his words. "I'm glad to hear it," he said. "Recently, a certain idea came to my mind, and although I cannot make you my consort and it can never be official, I would love to have a private ceremony with you."

Merlin was intrigued. "What do you suggest?" he asked.

"A hand-fasting," said Arthur and watched him closely, awaiting his answer.

Merlin's heart started beating frantically in his chest. He thought he was dreaming. "I'll have you if you want me too," he whispered and pulled his man into a tight embrace.

The king couldn't express his happiness with words so he kissed Merlin with profound passion.

oOoOo

Their hand-fasting had to be a private affair but they wanted to do it properly. They needed someone who would conduct the ceremony and someone else who would be their witness. Generally, Geoffrey was the one responsible for such ceremonies but Merlin and Arthur agreed that they didn't want to involve him in something what could make him feel uncomfortable. Geoffrey was an old man who could find such ideas too unorthodox for his liking. Merlin and Arthur wanted to involve only those people who supported them completely.

"We should make Gilli the master of our ceremony and Percival should be our witness," Arthur suggested one day.

Merlin glanced at him with surprise. "I thought you didn't like Gilli," he said.

"I was jealous. Now that I have you I know that there's no reason for jealousy," Arthur admitted. "Besides I know that Gilli has become your good friend after Gaius' death. He supported you then and he supports us now."

"That's true," said Merlin, smiling. "I'm proud of you, Arthur."

The king grinned at him. "It's decided then," he said.

"As long as Gilli and Percival agree to participate in this ceremony," Merlin reminded him.

"I have a feeling that they will," murmured Arthur.

The truth was that Merlin thought so too.

Then another idea came to Arthur's mind. "Wouldn't you want your mother to be there too?" he asked, knowing the answer very well. "We could send for her."

Merlin kissed him firmly on his mouth. "I would love that," he whispered when they pulled away to take a breath.

oOoOo

As they soon found out, Gilli and Percival were honoured by their invitation. They agreed right away and didn't ask any questions. Merlin and Arthur were glad for having such people in their lives. It made their days brighter and easier.

The two of them chose a quiet summer evening for their hand-fasting ceremony. They didn't want to say their vows inside the cold walls of the castle, so they decided to have the ceremony in the royal garden, away from the sight of random passers-by.

Arthur didn't put on his ceremonial robes because he didn't want to say his vow as a king. He intended to do it as a man who loved Merlin with his whole existence.

Both of them chose simple clothes. Arthur put on his red shirt because Merlin liked it, and not because it was Pendragon colour. On the other hand, Merlin chose his blue shirt, which matched his eyes. They looked simple but handsome. No one could deny them that.

Gilli was standing in front of them with a hand-fasting ribbon in his hand. Percival and Hunith were a few steps behind them, watching the couple proudly.

"We're gathered here today to perform the hand-fasting rite between Merlin of Ealdor, known also as Emrys, and Arthur of Camelot, the Once and Future King," Gilli stated.

Merlin and Arthur were facing each other, grinning madly.

"It is the blessed rite in which the hands of two people who love each other are wrapped in a ribbon as a symbol of their holy union," said Gilli officially and then turned directly to the two of them. "Merlin and Arthur, you can say your vows now."

Before the ceremony began, they agreed that Merlin would start. "You are my other half, Arthur. The fact that we can stand here today is the proof of that. You know how much I love you because our hearts and souls are already bonded, but I'm glad that I have an opportunity to make my vow in front of our dear witnesses." He glanced at Percival and his mother, who started crying silently. Then he turned his gaze back at his man. "I love you, Arthur Pendragon, and I will love you for all eternity. Even the end of the world won't keep us apart."

Arthur was deeply moved by his words. It had been clear to him how Merlin felt about him for a long time, but hearing it in front of their friends was something new.

"You are my true half, Merlin. After all these years I can say it with complete honesty and certainty," he started. "You bring brightness to my days and you taught me to be a better man. I give you my vow that I will love and cherish you forever. Nothing can come in between us."

I know, Merlin mouthed silently and Arthur nodded at that.

"Please face me now and hold your hands in front of me," Gilli told them.

Merlin raised his right hand while Arthur did the same with his left one. Their hands were touching and they were looking at each other with profound love and happiness.

Gilli took the ribbon and wrapped it around their hands gently, tying a knot. "This ribbon symbolises the union of two souls. Your vows are binding," he proclaimed.

Merlin and Arthur leaned in to kiss each other tenderly. When they pulled away, they were grinning shamelessly. They became as one in a new way and it felt amazing.

Then Hunith walked up to them and embraced them tightly. She was clearly getting older but she still had strength in her grip. "Since that day I have two sons," she told them. "Welcome to the family, Arthur."

Arthur couldn't be happier. He was loved by the most wonderful man in the world and now he gained a mother too. Hunith could never replace Ygraine but she could be the closest thing to a mother that he could have. Finally, everything appeared to be perfect.

oOoOo

They all had a celebratory dinner in Arthur's chambers. They drank some wine but after an hour Hunith, Gilli and Percival left the newly hand-fasted couple alone for their own celebration.

"In a way it's our wedding night," Arthur told him in a slightly shaking voice.

Merlin didn't understand why Arthur seemed so nervous. They were past being shy and uncertain about their sex life.

"What is it?" Merlin asked him with worry written all over his face.

Arthur cleared his throat and glanced at Merlin hesitantly. "It is a special day and I thought we could celebrate it in a special way," he said.

Merlin was intrigued by his words. "What do you have in mind?"

The king bit his bottom lip and looked down. "You gave me so much, Merlin, and I can't get rid of the feeling that I gave you so little in return," he admitted.

"That's not true, Arthur," Merlin assured him hastily. "You gave me everything I could ever dream of."

"I want to give you more," Arthur said firmly.

"What do you mean?"

"I would like to have you inside me," he explained, blushing madly. "In some way it's like taking my virginity and I think it's fitting for our wedding night."

Merlin would have laughed at the ridiculousness of this situation if the circumstances weren't so serious.

"There's no need for that," he said. "I don't expect you to do anything like that."

"But I want this," Arthur assured him and put his hand on Merlin's, squeezing it. "I would never suggest it otherwise."

Merlin looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity and determination in them. Arthur truly wanted him in this new way, even though he was nervous about it.

"It may hurt at first," Merlin warned him.

"I know."

Arthur was looking at him hopefully and it caused goose-flesh on his back.

"All right then," Merlin finally agreed.

They undressed each other slowly, not wanting to involve Merlin's magic this time. It was their wedding night and they were going to do it properly.

Arthur lay down on his bed, putting all his trust in Merlin. The warlock was very careful with preparing him. He used far greater amount of oil than it was necessary, just to make sure that it was going to be comfortable for Arthur. He was slow with his fingers, giving Arthur time to get used to the new sensation. They had plenty of time, as they made sure that they would not have anything important to do before the afternoon of the next day.

"I think I'm ready to receive you," murmured Arthur eventually.

Merlin nodded silently and leaned down to kiss him tenderly. He needed to distract himself in some way before the very thought that he was going to be inside Arthur could drive him crazy with pleasure.

Nothing could prepare Merlin for the moment when he entered Arthur. He was so tight that it made Merlin wonder if it felt like this for him too. Merlin had to move slowly, not wanting to end this too early, as he didn't have as much experience as Arthur had.

"How do you do this?" Merlin asked him between his thrusts.

Arthur smiled at him smugly, knowing very well what he meant.

"It helps when I think about making you feel as good as I do," he murmured.

"Do you feel good now?" the warlock asked uncertainly.

"It always feels good to have you so close to me," whispered Arthur.

After a moment, Arthur's chamber filled with the moans and groans of their love making. They were soon on the edge because it was something new for both of them.

Arthur was first to come with Merlin's hand stroking him skilfully in the rhythm of his thrusts. Merlin followed him soon after, surprised by the tightness caused by Arthur's climax.

They regained their full consciousness after a moment, lying on each other and breathing heavily.

"Did you like this change?" Merlin asked him after a while, as he slid off his body.

Arthur looked at him, smiling. "It felt strange and vulnerable at first but then I thought that it was you and there was nothing to be nervous about," he said. "Then I started enjoying it."

Merlin was content with his answer. "So would you like to repeat it sometimes in the future?" he asked carefully.

"Definitely," said Arthur, caressing his skin.

"We don't have to," Merlin assured him. "I like having you inside me. We can stick to that."

"I want this, Merlin," Arthur told him frankly. "I like being in charge most of the time but sometimes I want to give this power away. I'm glad I can do this with you."

Merlin smiled at him softly and kissed him. "So we're husbands now?" he asked.

"Yes," said Arthur gleefully. "Although, most of the world will never know about it."

"I don't care about what the rest of the world thinks," Merlin told him. "I'm glad that we know about it, and that my mother knows it too. That's enough for me."

"You're right," murmured Arthur. "That's what matters to me too."

Then Merlin sighed lightly. "One day we will have to leave Camelot," he said. "We can't stay here forever."

"It's a long time from now," said Arthur. "Philip must grow up first and then I'll have to make sure that he's ready for ruling two kingdoms."

"What are we going to do when Philip eventually becomes king?" Merlin asked him. "Where will we go?"

"Don't worry about it now," Arthur told him quietly. "We have plenty of time to decide."

Merlin nodded but then another issue came to his mind.

"We are not getting older, Arthur. People will become suspicious about it," he said.

"They will think you're keeping us young with your magic," his husband suggested.

"Perhaps... or I could just use my magic to make us getting older slowly," he said. "What do you think?"

"Will you be able to make us younger again, once we eventually leave Camelot?" Arthur asked him hopefully.

Merlin smiled smugly. "Of course. Besides, it is a great solution. Once we become younger again, it will be less likely for us to be identified by someone."

"That's a perfect solution then," said Arthur. "Please use your magic."

Merlin's eyes turned gold immediately and a delicate wave of warmth went through their bodies.

"Is it done?" Arthur asked him just to be certain.

"Yes, we'll be getting older just like other people," Merlin told him and then embraced Arthur tightly.

They fell asleep in each other's arms, thinking about what their future would bring.