Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.
As Eren's fist was about to make contact, ruthlessly, at Annie's face, Armin yelled for him to stop, in such a desperate tone. And at that, Eren halted his actions as he took a glance at the panicked Armin.
"We don't need fighting right now! Do you think that'll help Mikasa?"Armin asked, frustrated at his actions. "No it won't!" He answered before any of the two could, in a tone mixed with anger, annoyance and disappointment at Eren's vulgar and unnecessary actions.
At that, Eren's clenched fist soon loosened up, though his glare at Annie remained hostile. "What did you do?" He scowled.
"I did… nothing." Annie said simply, still shocked that Armin's words somehow managed to stop Eren's raging fury from disfiguring her face. And before Eren could scream his lungs out at her again, she continued. "She did this to herself." Annie concluded, her words leaving both Eren and Armin confused.
Her crystal eyes met with the brunette's emeralds, shooting a look of blame which the brunette took immediate offence at and was about to retaliate with his fist until she finally spoke again, "She asked me how she became blind. I told her it wasn't my place to answer, but yours. And then, she started to scream before falling to the ground." Annie explained as Armin was trying to calm the hyperventilating raven with words of comfort, which did soothe her a bit and stabilise her breathing a little as she took deep breathes, though she was still sweating and fidgeting uncomfortably.
"One word, nightmares." Annie summarized as Armin's eyes softened sympathetically at the pained raven whereas Eren's emerald orbs reflected a mixture of emotions. "I don't know what you did and did not tell her, but one thing's for certain. The more things you hide from her, her time will be up even before you." Annie spoke, referring to Eren who wore a blank expression after hearing the word 'nightmares', though a look of worry and anxiousness did show a little on his face at the thought of Mikasa leaving this world before him.
"What are you doing here, Annie?" Armin asked, as his ocean eyes met hers, having a mixture of hate and uncertainty within them.
"I came here to apologise to Mikasa personally, I mean, she is in a pitiful state..." Annie answered honestly as her eyes broke contact with Armin's for a moment as she glanced at the raven who seemed to have calmed down, though her eyes had a weary dulled look as her orbs stared blankly at… at the emptiness around her.
'Poor, Poor girl. She looks so lost.' Annie thought silently.
Her own orbs then fixated back at Armin's. "And though it isn't a great time to apologise to you two, I am sorry for what I've done as well but back to the point—…"
"What a joke…" Eren finally spoke, "that someone like you is apologising…" Eren scowled.
"Calm down, Eren. At least I'm apologising in an honest way, what about you? You liar." Annie accused, and though Armin was prepared to break up the 'expected' fight between the two, Eren, however, seemed to return to his speechless and blank state after hearing her words.
"To hear someone like you call me a liar is unbelievable." Eren grumbled, letting out a weary sigh, as his eyes fixed on Mikasa's orbs which looked pained, burdened… lost. "I'm sorry." Eren muttered quietly as he shifted closer to Mikasa, whose eyes were blinking, trying to keep awake to hear the rest of their conversation, desperate for the truth.
"Rest… please." Eren pleaded silently, seeing that her forcing herself awake was probably doing no good to her health currently. Plus, he couldn't look at those pair of eyes any longer.
His soft words, managed to make Mikasa surrender to her weary state and soon, she passed out, out of exhaustion from her seemingly 'panic attack', or what Annie called, 'nightmares' earlier.
"You ought to take her to a doctor or something." Annie spoke, her voice leaking out an obvious concerned tone for Mikasa.
"Since when did you ever care about her?" Eren asked, as he turned towards Annie, his eyes still hinting a form of hostility towards her—though Annie couldn't blame him for that.
"Hm... why? Maybe out of sympathy. I mean, look at her. She's blind and you didn't bother telling her anything. You can call my apology a shitty sense of humour— but your lies are sickening." Annie responded, her words managing to keep the brunette's mouth shut as he stared guiltily at Mikasa. "And Armin, you have almost the same look as the guilty one over there… I can't believe someone like you would lie to her. Out of people, her? Or you're at least, keeping something from her, aren't you?"
Silence.
"… Remember our talk? About the term of a 'good person'?"
'Good person', those two words, were enough to make Armin tense up, as he slowly nodded his head. "I don't think, Mikasa will see you two as 'good persons' once she finds out about everything." Annie sighed as she turned around and started walking off. "Plus, she already suspects that you caused it, Eren" She added, finding it necessary to tell him, and spoke a little loudly so that the brunette could hear— the same brunette who was tensed, frightened, at her seemingly 'harmless' words, that were instead, definitely painful to hear.
"Annie." Armin called, which made Annie halt in her steps subconsciously.
"I won't lose this bet, of being a 'good person' to Mikasa." He spoke, as the familiar pair of crystal eyes met his ocean orbs again. "That's for Mikasa, and Mikasa only, to decide… also, Eren, I hope you won't lose that bet either. We'll see each other soon enough." And with that, she left.
"What kind of shitty bet is that?" Eren grumbled as he turned to the blonde who wore a similar look of exhaustion as compared to the unconscious Mikasa. "Let's head back. I'll carry her… it isn't much of a long walk anyway." Eren sighed as Armin nodded before helping Mikasa's unconscious state onto Eren's back for a piggyback ride back home.
'She's lighter as compared to before…' Eren thought silently, taking a mental note to get her some food to eat when she wakes back up, while a familiar thought came to mind.
Eren, then, remembering the last time he ever gave Mikasa a piggyback was when they were running away from the titans who attacked one another after he launched a punch at one of them, who became the target for the others.
He remembered that day, the day where he thought all hope was lost. When he thought he was as useless as ever… until Mikasa gave him back the hope he supposedly lost with words of truth and pure honesty, words filled with passion.
'Thank you for teaching me how to live', those were one of the many phrases that brought back some hope he had lost back then, because it reminded him that he wasn't as useless as he claimed himself to be. He remembered it clearly. The look she gave him when she spoke what he assumed that she thought were her 'final words', mostly because she made it sound that way. Although he couldn't blame her for that.
But. The look in her eyes when she said what she said back then, words couldn't describe how beautiful and lively they were. And now… that's all gone. Because even if she was truly happy now, those lively eyes will never be the same as it used to.
"Hey Eren…" Armin mumbled, breaking both the silence and Eren's thoughts. "Do you think… Mikasa will really see us as 'bad persons'..?" Armin asked quietly, staring at the ground, looking almost as guilty as the brunette was.
"I… honestly don't know… but as much as I hate to admit it, Annie's right… about the fact that it's Mikasa's choice and… that I'm a liar. A pathetic liar…" Eren grumbled, sounding upset and moreover close to tears.
"Tears can't solve anything, Eren… trust me. I'd know." Armin sighed as Eren quickly wiped them away. "I know that… but… it's just… everything's my fault." Eren mumbled as he glanced at Armin, seeing the guilty look he wore and sighed. "Don't blame yourself for what happened then. It was my fault..."
"But—"
"Armin... please. Let me shoulder this burden alone. I have no intent dragging you down with me," Eren responded, his voice trying its best not to break. Armin only nodded in response silently, his eyes fixed on Mikasa's unconscious self and only heaved out another heavy sigh. "Today was supposed to be fun…" Armin mumbled to himself quietly, words almost inaudible although Eren managed to hear all of it.
"There's tomorrow…"
"But how many tomorrows will we have left together…?" Armin responded subconsciously which caused Eren to remain silent, and questioning himself deeply.
'Was this really the right choice?' The brunette questioned.
Once they reached back, Eren quickly rushed back to their room to check Mikasa's state, after setting down her unconscious body on the bed cautiously.
Physically, she looks fine. She didn't seem to be having any nightmares.
Despite being advised by both Annie and Armin earlier on to bring her to the infirmary, he refused to. It's not like the doctors or nurses know how to handle, or heal someone like Mikasa.
Eren reached out, caressing her cheek lovingly. "I'm sorry, Mikasa… I haven't really been honest with you lately…" He mumbled quietly, his eyes' focus fixing itself on her and her, only. His eyes then finding itself looking at the scar below her eye, which he caused due to his violent and reckless actions.
Till today, he still blamed himself for that.
The fact that he, nearly killed Mikasa Ackerman.
"How can you forgive someone like me…? Is it because I wrapped that scarf around you? Because I saved you back then? I mean, saving you from them was a natural thing for me to do… who knew it meant so much to you…?"
Although he did have a better understanding why Mikasa was so attached to and protective of him back then, he couldn't fully understand nor even comprehend the reasoning the raven had for forgiving him so much. "And… you even already suspect that I caused this… hah. I can't blame you for that… but, only question why you're being so damn nice to me even though you suspect me…causing this…" He sighed quietly as he found himself playing with her silky hair.
"Your hair's getting longer… but it's not like we're going to be using those 3-D manoeuvre gear anymore… you can keep it long if you want…" Eren mumbled, twirling her hair gently a little, before his hand then went to reach for hers, gripping it tightly. "I'm so, so sorry… for everything. You don't have to forgive a pathetic shit like me." Eren teared up, his tears soon falling. "Ah sorry... got a tear on you…" He chuckled lightly, yet sounding so hopeless, as he wiped the tear away.
Except, what he didn't realize was, that wasn't his tear. It was hers.
Mikasa was partially awake, but too weak and exhausted to move nor open her eyes— though personally, she didn't feel like opening her dullen eyes would do any good for Eren.
'Eren…' she thought silently, having heard his previous words clearly, she tried her best to hold back whatever tears that felt like spewing out. She couldn't let him know she was awake now. It'd probably make him feel worse.
'Eren… I don't care if you did this… because…'
Another tear of hers seemed to slip, but Eren was busy sobbing quietly to take notice.
'Because… you mean so much to me…'
Eren's grip on her hand tightened a little as his muffled sobs became a little louder.
'But… I have to know… I need to know if—'
When Armin had open his room door, the last person he expected to see was Annie, who was leaning against his wall casually.
"Annie…?"
"Don't get any wrong ideas. I came to get answers." She said simply as her crystal orbs locked on his ocean ones automatically. But she was careful not to stare so deeply into them. She didn't want to drown in them after all.
"I want to know why you didn't tell Mikasa anything. And before you ask why I care so much, it's because it's out of pity, and sympathy and most of all. This isn't like you. Plus, I am curious." She added quickly before the male blonde could question anything.
"Annie… you may have heard how Mikasa got blind from the superiors talking but it isn't that true…"
"So you expect me to believe Eren didn't punch Mikasa in the face, rampaging about? It's a surprise that, that beast is even alive—"
"It's not like that!" Armin cut her off, some tears forming in his ocean orbs, Annie, taken aback at that.
"Sorry…" She apologised quietly. "I'll leave you alone—"
"No, wait. You should know the truth…"
"No I don't. You'll lose the bet if you do so…" At those words, Armin tilted his head not understanding what she meant by that until she continued, "Because, Mikasa should be the one to hear it. And I think, at this point, it doesn't matter who tells her, as long as it's the truth." Annie sighed as Armin bit his lip. "What are you suggesting, Annie?" Armin asked as Annie walked towards him, placing her hand on his shoulder, though her eyes weren't locked on his anymore, because she didn't wish to drown in them, in his tears. "I'm suggesting, you should tell her. Before she goes off doing something reckless. You know very well that although she's blind, she isn't a dense person." Annie spoke before her hand left his shoulders, then leaving his room.
Leaving Armin alone with his now overflowing thoughts and questions.
"Damn it..." He cursed quietly to himself, before clenching his fist and punched the wall in frustration or was it sadness…? He didn't know.
But what he did know, was that Annie was probably right, and he wished she wasn't.
'But… I have to know… I need to know if—'
"Sorry Mikasa... my lies may have to continue a while… for your sake, I can't stand see you breaking anymore...especially… if you knew what happened…" He muttered quietly, cutting Mikasa's thoughts midway.
'… you're wrong Eren…' she thought silently as the brunette soon laid down next to her, wrapping his arms around her. As much as Mikasa wanted to push him away and scream for him to be honest for once, his warmth made it even harder for Mikasa to stay frustrated. Her heart just melted when his arms around her tightened, his sobs softening little by little.
'Eren I…'
Eren started mumbling apologies repeatedly into her ear.
Another tear slipped out of her, as he apologised profusely.
'Eren… you're wrong…so wrong… I'm already broken.'
And then, darkness overwhelmed the two broken, lost and definitely, exhuasted souls.
Author's note: I'll correct any grammtical mistakes later. This chapter was a little rushed so i apologise if there were any mistakes. please leave a review! Also do tell if i did make any mistake(s) and I'll correct them. Thank you for your patience!