Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.
And then, everything became dark— pitch black.
"Mikasa! NO!" Armin screeched before he found himself back in the present after being woken up by that one hell of a nightmare.
Except, unlike all the normal nightmares… this nightmare had happened, long ago. It wasn't just a dream turn sour, it was the past of the reality before.
"Mikasa…" Armin mumbled to himself, still startled over what had happened. "Annie's right… I can't keep running away… I can't hide the truth… I don't want to be a 'bad person' to her… nor Eren… ah, I'm crying." Armin sighed as he noticed tears dripping out of his ocean eyes that were going through a thunderstorm.
He didn't understand why it had to be like this. Why it had to be her not him. Though, he would blame himself for Mikasa's loss of sight, having assumed it was his selfish desire of his want to witness and explore the salty ocean's waves, flaming water, land made of ice, and fields of sand spread wide that caused it.
After all, if Mikasa didn't push him out of the way… wouldn't he be the one trapped within the dark?
"What's the point of seeing the beauty in this cruel world when the beauty herself can't even see it? It's a joke gone wrong." Armin sighed before dragging himself out of bed, before walking towards the door.
"I have to tell her what happened…" Armin concluded before he walked out of his room, to find the raven.
The truth could not wait any longer, Armin knew that. Any longer and Mikasa would've lost it with all those nightmares, all those voices or rather, screams of the deceased ones that echoed repeatedly in her mind.
Armin had noticed Mikasa's slight change in her behaviour recently. The soldier who was worth a hundred always had a… strong and confident aura that would surround her, her guard up which wasn't easily lowered in the first place. Yet now, despite her tries to maintain that same mental strength, it was obvious that she was breaking.
It wasn't that her vulnerability was exposed more often, it was more of… sadness, pain.
She was growing sadder every day, that pain she carried must've been tough— the pain of not knowing. But, there were times that a genuine smile would still form on her lips. Most times, it was because of Eren.
The brunette had already knew how much impact he had on her life, however his lies still continued, his burden only heavier. And his regret? It was already at its limits, and yet it kept growing and growing.
Everything would've been much easier if only the truth came out. If Eren told Mikasa, who would obviously forgive him. But to Eren, her forgiveness wasn't enough to atone for his mistakes— his sins. And to Eren, death would be the atonement, he didn't need to say that out loud for the blonde to know.
But he was still living—despite his few years left. Armin assumed it was because of Mikasa, though he was sure it was much, much more.
Up till now, he still kept secrets from Mikasa, Armin couldn't blame him too much for that. It was to protect her after all, from the trauma. Who knows what'd happen if the truth was out? Would Mikasa recall everything and go through something worse than the flashbacks and nightmares?
No one knew. And Armin, despite knowing the risks, decided to answer her questions. If not now, when? Like glass, she was fragile. The truth ought to be said with caution— nothing too detailed on the deaths and such.
Soon enough, the blonde found her and Eren's room. Odd enough, the door was slightly open.
'Did they go somewhere?' he thought.
Slowly opening the door, with a few creaking sounds here and there, Armin tiptoed towards the bed, and he was half right.
Mikasa was there, asleep. Eren wasn't next to her.
It was two or three in the morning, where was he?
"H-Help... me…" Mikasa whispered in her sleep, her body fidgeting uncomfortably as her grip on the blanket tightened.
Immediately, Armin shook Mikasa in an attempt to free her from the monsters that corrupted her dreams, anxiously calling her name.
"Mikasa? Mikasa! It's Armin!" He called repeatedly.
After a while, her eyes slowly opened, to reveal a dull pair of orbs, full of pain and sorrow… was she crying?
"Armin…? What are you doing here… is it morning already…?" Mikasa yawned tiredly. "Wait. Where's Eren? I don't sense his presence…" Mikasa spoke frantically as her hands stretched out and around to check if she was wrong. Except she wasn't.
"Calm down he's… out on a walk. Getting some fresh air." Armin lied.
'Just this one time… forgive me for lying, Mikasa.'
"I need to talk to you about something…" Armin trailed off, hesitating a little as his fingers fiddled with one another nervously. "I… It's about… what happened— the truth."
Once those last two words escaped her lips, Armin could've swore he saw some colour in those dulled, dead eyes. Words that were both like a miracle and unknown to her.
"The truth…?"
"Yes. No lies this time."
"…talk." Mikasa said simply as she sat up slowly, giving some space for the blonde to sit, who refused to. He felt he didn't deserve such kindness.
"Alright… but tell me if it gets too… sensitive. I don't want you to pass out." Armin spoke, which Mikasa nodded to.
"So… Where do I even start…?"
"You too."
"Huh?" Armin asked, confused.
"If you get all caught up in your emotions, it's okay to cry… I know— or at least I think I know… that Eren or you caused… this." The blonde's eyes widened in shock, stuttering inaudible words, unable to respond in an articulate matter.
"Why else would you hide it? I know I'm vulnerable but… I'm not that dense to not know… well, I don't know what specifically happened but… you get the point."
Silence, and then teardrops.
"It's okay, Armin… to cry."
"I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry." Armin apologised, falling onto his knees as he sobbed. Mikasa then shifted to the edge of the bed, reaching out her hand, searching about before placing her hand on top of the blonde's hair, ruffling it in a comforting manner.
"It's okay, Armin." She reassured. "To me, you're still a good friend." Mikasa smiled.
That smile… Those words. How can she say those things? How can she still smile?
"You're too kind, Mikasa…"
"What are you doing out here?" A familiar voiced called out to the brunette, who was busy captivated by his own thoughts.
"No 'brat'?" Eren guffawed.
"How funny." The male spoke sarcastically as he stood next to the brunette heaving a heavy and rather disappointed sigh, before continuing, "Idiotic Brat."
Author's Notes: I have been busy with Exams, Tests and Quizzes... i forgotten life was this stressful haha. short update, sorry. Chapter 9 or 10 will be 'The Cruel Truth part 2.' if you're wondering. I will be going on a hiatus for a while though (Not like i haven't been doing that now lol, this time I'm telling you when I'll be back by), i should be back latest by March. And i may change Chapter 7 a little, the content will be the same, only the way it's written that's all. (e.g. language, tone etc) That's all.