.Chapter 6

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This was awful. He wouldn't wish this on anyone. With wires taking over his hand, and chest Viktor wondered if this was worth it. Was this a life worth saving? Being off the ventilator was great he wasn't saying no to that. Having it in him, controlling his body had been hell. It was lonely too and all he did was sleep. Not that he wanted to be awake while he was hooked up to that though. Having the ventilator taken out was an even bigger hell. Having to be awake as they removed it, throwing up as it was, he wanted to die. Even though the nurses said it was fine and it happens sometimes he still felt bad. He wanted more control than he did. He felt this ruined the image he tried to create for so many years. Knowing he should open his eyes he didn't want to. He didn't want to see himself this way anymore. Feeling a hand gently squeeze his Viktor's eyes slowly opened.

"…Yuri…" Seeing his beloved sitting next to him with a smile on his face, a genuine smile that showed he was happy to see him, Viktor knew he was dealing with all of this for him. He wanted to see that smile forever.

"How are you feeling?" At the question Viktor frowned. He didn't want to think about it. "That bad huh? Want me to get the nurse?"

"No. I'm not in pain. Just…just tired of this."

"I know." Watching Yuri stand up to kiss his forehead Viktor closed his eyes to savor the kiss. Reopening them he saw something he hadn't seen before. There was a banner in the room, "Get Well Soon Viktor!" Was written across it in Russian and it was signed by a bunch of people.

"This was dropped off at the rink for you. Your fan club sent it. And all the flowers. I only brought a few in to give the room color. I brought some to the apartment because the rink couldn't hold anymore." At Yuri's words Viktor's mouth just dropped. He couldn't believe it. Never in a million years had he expected this. Feeling his eyes start to water he covered his face the best he could as he started to cry. He needed that much more than he thought. As much as he thought about quitting he knew he couldn't, he couldn't let down all those that were supporting him. And Yuri…he couldn't let him down either.

Talking with Yuri for a bit they both stopped at the voices that came in the room. Seeing Yurio and Yuri's mother Viktor looked back at his fiancée. He didn't know she was here.

"Viktor! It is so good to see you awake dear! How are you feeling?" Getting the biggest hug from her he saw her smile. Only able to hug her back with one arm he was happy to see her, though he felt bad she made the trip out there.

"Hello ma'am. Good to see you too. I am sorry for the inconvenience."

"Nonsense. You are family! And call me mom!"

Nodding, he couldn't believe she would fly out all the way out here for him. Unless, came here for Yuri, to make sure he was taking care of himself. Which he fully understood and appreciated.

"I am sorry I couldn't get out here before your surgery. I had really hoped to."

"It's fine ma…mom…I really appreciate you being here at all." Getting another kiss from her he felt her take his free hand and hold it tight while Yuri held the other. Before he could see how Yurio was doing he heard Yakov come into the room. He must have been doing better if he was allowed so many guests. This was much better than being stuck in the CICU. Just having his friends and family around him boosted his spirits.

Talking with everyone for a while they left when a nurse came in to do what she had to. Seeing her change the bandages he saw the scar across his chest for the first time. It wasn't terrible but it was bad enough.

"With you awake the doctor is going to be here in a bit to talk to you about the surgery and what comes next."

"Alright. Can Yuri stay here for that?" He wanted him here with him for strength and because he knew he would want to. He could have stayed in the room for this but he didn't want his love to see him being taken care of. He felt so useless and that wasn't who he was at all.

"Of course." With her wide smile, she finished up and left the room. Seeing Yuri's mother come in first he half waved to her. It was nice to see her again, he just wished she didn't have to see him like this.

"You are alone?" He didn't care he just figured she didn't speak Russian.

"Yuri went to use the restroom and to grab lunch with the others downstairs."

"You could have gone with them. I don't want you to not eat."

"He is going to get something for me. I figured you would like the company."

"I really appreciate it. Have you been to our apartment ma…mom?" Calling her mom was going to take some getting used to.

"I have and it is beautiful Viktor. You two have made a wonderful home together." At her compliment, he felt his face blush a bit. He was happy she liked it, knowing she approved of his choices with her son was something he always strived for.

"Thank you…I am really glad you can be here for Yuri. I know he has been really worried about me and I want to make sure he is taking care of himself."

"Of course dear. Though, I came out here for you. You are my son-in-law and therefor family."

"Well…I'm not family yet." Speaking of, he didn't think he would be well enough to fly to Japan for their wedding. It was in what? Two, maybe three weeks. "Mom…you don't think Yuri will hate me if I ask him to postpone the wedding, do you? He has worked extremely hard to make things perfect and I want him to have the best wedding he can. He deserves nothing less than that."

"All my son needs is for you to be well." Getting a loving, motherly kiss on his cheek he saw her smile. God, he was not used to this sort of treatment. Yuri's whole family was too good for him. Seeing his fiancée come in with food with the others she stepped off to the side so he could come over and sit with him.

"How are you feeling?"

"You don't have to ask me that every half hour Yuri. I promise I am fine." Having him kiss him he got his fiancée to smile.

Talking with the others they all got quiet when the doctor walked in a half hour later. He forgot that by hospital standards this was in a few minutes.

"Hello Mr. Nikiforov. How are you feeling?"

"I'd feel better if I could go home."

"Sorry. You have some time before that. But now. I went over everything I got from the South Korean hospital and what the tests showed here. I did the heart surgery because you had a collapsed valve. I knew this when you were transferred here. After looking over everything it's clear that your enlarged heart started from the stress of your skating career. Enlarged hearts are sadly more common in athletes as they push their bodies to the limits in training. I don't know what doctor you saw last year, because I saw in your record that you did see someone, but a problem should have been present. This just doesn't happen overnight. Yuri told me you had breathing trouble after a skate last year, that was sign that something was wrong." Feeling Yuri squeeze his hand he squeezed it back to remind him to breathe. "Now, what I did with the surgery. I went in and corrected the collapsed valve. See, heart valves allow blood to flow through the heart. When one doesn't work right it can lead it heart problems. Whether the valve collapsed first or the heart was enlarged which caused the collapse I don't know, tests don't show that. But. I've been monitoring your heart since the surgery and it is safe to say it is pumping the way it should be and the electrical pulses are back to normal levels."

"So, he won't need a pacemaker?" At Yuri's question, he could his love knew that was his biggest fear.

"I don't believe so."

Getting a temple kiss from his love Viktor saw how happy he was for him. Obviously, he could tell he had that fear.

"Although, I will not rule out the fact that you may need a vest once you go home?"

"A vest?" What was he talking about? Would he need a vest for his scar?

"It is called a life vest and what it does it is send your heart a shock should it stop beating." At that, Viktor felt his heart stop and Yuri tighten his grip. Trying to get his mind to focus he asked the question they all wanted to know.

"How likely is it that my heart will stop?"

"At this moment? I don't see it happening. This will become clearer as we take you off things. I just like letting my patients know all of my thoughts so they have an idea of what could come."

Right now, it wasn't likely. Good. He was going to keep it that way. The goal was to give Yuri less fear over his health, not more.

Being left alone with their family and friends Viktor noticed Yuri was staying quiet. Wanting to talk to him about everything he gave their hands a little nudge to get his younger companion's attention. Mouthing a "are you okay?" He saw Yuri nod and give a half smile before kissing their joined hands. He was engaged to the worst liar ever it was almost cute.

Being alone for the night, Viktor went through his phone since he had nothing better to do. TV was boring, and being alone made him think more than he liked. Wondering what Yuri was up to he sent him a text hoping he was up. Though, he was probably with his mother.

"Hey! What's up?"

"Just bored. Wondering how things were going at home."

"Not bad…Makkachin misses you like crazy."

"I miss him too. You know…I'm not going to need that vest Yuri. I am going to get stronger."

"I know…I just…I want you around for a long time"

Yuri was too precious. He loved that man more than words and knew he would get better just for him.

"Are you busy Yuri? Can I call?"

"Miss me that much? But it's fine. I'm just in our room."

Before he text him back he called him. Calling was much easier since his left hand didn't want to go too far.

"Your mother isn't staying in our room?"

"No! It drives me crazy. She has been sleeping on the couch. Viktor, she won't even let me get her an air mattress."

"She is your mother." Laughing, Viktor felt better hearing Yuri laugh too.

"Oh! Let me facetime you. Makkachin is staring at me all excited." Watching the screen change to connect to the facetime call, Viktor accepted it and smiled as he saw his old companion sitting next to Yuri all excited.

"See Makkachin! I told you Viktor was doing well."

"Hi Makkachin! Keep the bed warm for Yuri will you?"

"We snuggle every night."

Smiling, Viktor slowly let it drop as he wanted to bring up the whole reason he needed to call. "Yuri…I need a favor from you."

"Oh? What is it?"

"Can you…I need you to call… I don't think I'll be able to…" God this was so hard. The last thing he wanted to do was postpone their wedding. All he wanted right now was to make Yuri his husband.

"You want me to call everyone back in Japan. I know. I get it. I'll call the venues tomorrow."

"I am really sorry Yuri. And I wanted to bring it up in person but having everyone around, while I love them, well, I just couldn't get you alone."

"Please don't apologize. Your health comes first. We can get married once you are all better and home. I'd rather wait to be married than be a widower before I am married. I had been thinking about calling it off as well. I just wanted to talk to you about it first. Viktor. I need to apologize to you. And, well, I understand if you'd rather not marry me at all after this."

"Y…Yuri…Why wouldn't I want to?" Scared he was going to hear Yuri found someone else he gripped his bed sheet with his open hand. He wouldn't blame Yuri for wanting to be with someone who is healthy but, he did still love him.

"This is all my fault Viktor. You pushed yourself so hard because I pushed you to keep going. To come back here, to do the Olympics. You told me you weren't sure you wanted to do them but I pushed you and look what happened. I almost lost you because of my selfishness."

"Yuri…" Watching his love start to cry he wished he could hold him. This wasn't his fault and knowing he blamed himself at all was heartbreaking. "You had nothing to do with this. I knew my limits and I insisted on pushing myself. Please. Don't blame yourself for anything." Hating the distance between them he tried to get Yuri to look at him. Getting him to understand he saw him nod and wipe his eyes. "I will always want to marry you and stay by your side forever Yuri. I knew this back in Japan when you were hurt."

"I love you Viktor. I love you so much." Hearing him sniffle Viktor tried the last thing he could to get Yuri to understand.

"Think of us being even now. I blamed myself for you getting hurt because I failed as your coach and you blame yourself for me pushing myself too hard. We are even."

Seeing Yuri nod he figured this wouldn't be the last time they talked about this but hopefully he would be home when they did. "I love you Yuri. You keep my heart beating. Please don't forget that." Admitting the truth to his love they both dropped the conversation.

Starting to yawn, Yuri made them hang up so he could get some sleep. Knowing he would see him tomorrow made him feel better about letting him go. He really missed being with him.

Talk of going home. That was a beautiful thing to hear. His recovery from surgery was going well and the doctor was really thinking he wouldn't have to be here a full week. He was going to have to take it easy for a while and would be on pain pills as his chest healed but he could manage it. Really, he just wanted to sleep in his own bed again and get some bills paid. He knew Yuri was capable of paying what they had due in terms of their apartment but he had smaller bills to worry about. His credit card was one of them. If he asked, Yuri would have done it but he felt bad to make him do even more. It was bad enough he was here as soon as visiting hours started and stayed till they ended. He loved the company but he still felt bad that Yuri was wasting so much of his time here. Sometimes his mother would tag along, sometimes she would insist on staying behind to clean the apartment and watch Makkachin. Yuri would swear the apartment wasn't dirty though.

"She came for you Viktor. She was worried sick about you and made arrangements to fly out to see you. She said she will go home once you are home and settled. She mentioned that she wanted me to be free to help you and not worry about the apartment things."

"Your mother is too nice. I am really not used to that at all."

"Just wait. She has been cooking too. Once she knows what you can and can't eat you'll never cook till she leaves."

"Okay. I love your moms cooking though." Sharing a laugh, Viktor brought Yuri closer to the bed to sit with him. Moving just a bit over he had him rest against him. "I missed doing this."

"Hopefully soon you can come home. You have one less machine on you it looks like."

"Oh yea! Nurse took it off before you got here. I have no idea what it was for. She told me but it was early." Teasing, he looked down at Yuri to get lost in his eyes. He was with a great man. "Really. I would just love to be taken off oxygen and to have some of these heart monitors taken off. I mean. I know my chest is nice to look at but this is a little much." Both smiled again as Yuri placed a hand between two of the sensors. Following his hand, Viktor stopped as he saw the bandage on his chest and frowned.

"Most people find scars sexy you know." At Yuri's words Viktor smirked.

"Are you part of that?"

"Maybe. I'll have to see it first. It's a size thing for me." Just having the words leave his mouth Viktor's mouth dropped as Yuri's face blushed. "That's not what I was implying. Oh god."

"You know…I'm still in the hospital I can ask them to make it bigger if you need." Flirting back at his love he saw Yuri's face just go redder.

"That's not what I meant!"

Reaching to kiss Yuri's temple Viktor was happy they were able to tease the other again. It was truly the little things he had missed while he was sick.

"So….is everything taken care of back in Japan?" Viktor still didn't want to ask about their canceled wedding, he felt awful they had to do that in the first place. Yuri said he was fine with things but he knew he spent a ton of time and energy on the planning. Then there was the whole money thing. Yuri used a lot of his own savings to pay for the venue and smaller items, he didn't want him to lose that money.

"Hmmm? Yea I called the venues and explained the situation. They said they hope you get better soon. And, they will hold our deposits so all we have to do is rebook. Perks of being you I guess." Feeling Yuri kiss his cheek Viktor was speechless.

"I'm sure it's because your town loves you. But, please. If you talk to them before I do please tell them how grateful I am."

"We will tell them together." Having Yuri hands slip in between Viktor could tell his heart was pounding. In fact, he was shocked the monitors weren't beeping from the increase in activity. He truly loved this man.

Squeezing Yuri's hand Viktor sat up in bed and let the doctor do what he had to. With the stethoscope to his chest he kept quiet as he waited the verdict. He wanted to go home. He wanted to sleep in his own bed and with Yuri close. They had taken most of the IV's out of him already and he was allowed to walk the hall with a nurse's help. He still felt weak but everyone said it was from not being active for long. Once he was doing better they recommended a little physical therapy that monitored cardiac issues. He was game for anything so long as it meant he could go home.

"Viktor. I know you don't want to leave us but I think it's time we part ways for a bit."

"Really? I can go home."

"I have a few things I need to go over with you but yes I will sign your release papers."

With Yuri's help, Viktor made it up to their apartment. Putting the key in the lock was the most wonderful thing in the world. Turning the knob and opening the door he stopped to just take in the beauty that was home. Oh how he missed it. Hearing barking, he saw Makkachin sitting with his tail wagging before he ran in circles.

"Hey there. Miss me?" Carefully bending down, he let his faithful companion run to him and say hello. "I missed you too Makkachin. I am sorry I was gone so long. Hope you were good for Yuri. Careful, careful, daddy is still healing." Trying to get Makkachin to step back a bit as he wanted to cuddle up against him, he had to be careful he didn't go near the incision site. Seeing Yuri help move Makkachin and help him up both shared a look of how happy he was to be home.

"Hello Viktor. I am so happy to see you out of the hospital." Seeing Yuri's mother come over from the kitchen to give him a big hug he noticed she was careful not to hurt his chest. Letting her go he moved over to Yuri and kissed the top of his head.

"I am going to lie down for a bit. Get me if you need me." He was already exhausted from just leaving the hospital to coming home.

"Let me know if you need help with anything."

Getting into fresh sleep pants. Viktor climbed into bed ready to shut his eyes. Hearing Makkachin come prancing into the room and jumping on the bed he brought him close to snuggle with him.

"I am so happy to be home." He had left his home for the Olympics, now a little over a month later he was finally back. He knew life wasn't instantly going to get better. He still a lot of recovery to do but he was home and that was the first step towards getting the life he dreamed of. The life he would spend with Yuri.